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00:00:03,629 --> 00:00:06,882
ANNOUNCER:
CBS presents this programin color.
2
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:27,486
( theme song playing )
3
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,144
I still don't know why
4
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:44,646
we couldn't just derail
that bloody munitions train.
5
00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:47,190
Well, just derailing it
might not have enough impact
6
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:49,192
for us to set off
the stuff it's carrying.
7
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:50,235
Always ask an expert.
8
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:51,820
Yeah, if he's
so flipping clever,
9
00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:54,281
how come he's in the war
along with the rest of us?
10
00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:55,907
Well, everybody else
was going in,
11
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,535
so I said to myself,
"Andrew, you ought to get in..."
12
00:01:58,535 --> 00:01:59,536
Carter.
13
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:00,495
Huh?
Forget it.
14
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:01,621
I'm sorry I asked.
15
00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:02,748
Five minutes.
16
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,291
We should be hearing
it anytime now.
17
00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:05,792
We're ready.
Well, let's go.
18
00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:09,755
Hey, when the
train blows up,
19
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,048
we can call the Krauts
and report an emergency.
20
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:13,216
They'd love that.
21
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,218
Choke on their sauerbraten
for sure.
22
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:16,928
( laughing )
23
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:30,901
LeBEAU:
Come on, hurry, hurry.
24
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,194
CARTER:
I'm doing the best I can.
25
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:33,737
NEWKIRK:
Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.
26
00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:36,990
Boy, this is really going
to be a blowup.
27
00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:39,367
Boy, it's going to go boom...
28
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,620
( making explosion noises )
29
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,206
LeBEAU:
Somebody coming.
30
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,749
Hey, it's that girl, Eva.
31
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,751
The sweetheart of
the Underground.
32
00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:49,127
Hello, luv. Wie gehts?
33
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,253
What's happening?
34
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:51,796
The train is not
coming tonight.
35
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,757
What?!
Oh, charming.
36
00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:55,425
Oh, no,
that's terrible.
37
00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:57,552
My father received
a radio message
38
00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,429
from his contact
in Dusseldorf.
39
00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:01,431
The train is
still in the yard.
40
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,558
We've got three charges
on that track.
41
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,018
They're all wired up.
42
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:06,603
They can't do this to us.
43
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:07,979
When will it move?
44
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,232
Couple of days, a week?
45
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:11,274
Thank you, Eva.
46
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:12,400
You better leave now.
47
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,277
It's a little bit dangerous
around here.
48
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,238
Ja. Auf Wiedersehen.
Good-bye.
49
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:17,614
Oh, I-I will
try to give you
50
00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:18,990
a few days advance notice.
51
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,242
Thank you.
52
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,494
What do we do now,
disconnect everything?
53
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,287
No, it took too
much trouble
54
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:25,705
putting it
all in place.
55
00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:26,790
We've got to hide it.
56
00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:27,958
Where?
57
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,126
Dig the wire in
along the tracks.
58
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:31,419
What about this?
59
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,797
Well, we passed
that emergency phone back there.
60
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:34,965
Carter, do you think
61
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,883
you could wire
the terminals into it?
62
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:38,301
I don't know. I guess so.
63
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:39,302
'Course he can.
64
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:40,679
He can do anything.
He's an expert.
65
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:41,805
Thank you.
66
00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:43,390
Well, this is as
good a place as any
67
00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:45,600
to hide out, I guess.
Come on. Let's go.
68
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,143
Boy, looks like
that old choo-choo
69
00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:49,437
isn't going to go
boom-boom after all.
70
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:50,730
Carter, must you
71
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,899
say things like
that in wartime?
72
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,330
I still don't get it.
73
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:10,333
Why run the wires
into a telephone?
74
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,710
We had no choice,
mon colonel.
75
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:12,711
It was either that
76
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,254
or take the charges
off the track.
77
00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:16,381
Oh, great, and
the first Kraut that comes along
78
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,632
that wants to
use the phone
79
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,592
picks up the receiver,
makes the connection
80
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,177
and blows up 200
yards of railroad.
81
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:22,637
Well, it is
an emergency phone.
82
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:23,763
You can say that again.
83
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:24,806
Well, let's just hope
84
00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:26,474
nobody tries to
use that telephone.
85
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,309
Oui. And when you get
a radio signal
86
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:29,352
that a train
is moving,
87
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,396
we'll go out of camp again
and blow it up.
88
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:32,939
Just like that,
out of camp again.
89
00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:35,608
You guys act like
there's a revolving door on that tunnel.
90
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:36,860
Well, how else can we do it?
91
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,319
Well, we've done
the hard part.
92
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:40,238
Get the underground
to take over the job.
93
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,865
Forget it, Colonel.
94
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,867
Kinch just got this
from the underground
95
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:47,287
in Dusseldorf,
relayed through London.
96
00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:48,621
Oh, great.
97
00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:51,291
This is shaping up
into a great little mess.
98
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:54,210
The Gestapo is arresting
suspects in Dusseldorf.
99
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,713
Underground ordered
to stop all activity.
100
00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:58,757
What about
a munitions train?
101
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:01,468
They'll try and radio us
the schedule.
102
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,887
I suppose this means
we've got to go out again.
103
00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:04,888
Not necessarily.
104
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:07,640
You could always stay here
and use a long fuse.
105
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:15,815
Right. Put your
own name there,
106
00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,609
and your partner's
underneath it.
107
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:18,610
All right. Thank you.
108
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,028
Good luck to you, son.
109
00:05:20,069 --> 00:05:22,405
Come on. Next. Move along.
110
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,240
Name?
111
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,910
What's going
on here?
112
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:29,370
Schultz, you in a
jitterbug contest?
113
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:30,371
Who said that I...
114
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:31,372
It's impossible.
115
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:33,082
We'd never get you
off the ground.
116
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:34,417
You're a jolly joker.
117
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,503
Hey, unless you want to go
into training for it.
118
00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:38,421
You know, get off some
of the old lard, eh?
119
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:40,089
Who gave you
permission
120
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,217
to use the
recreation hall?
121
00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:43,218
You did.
122
00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:45,094
When?!
123
00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:49,224
Right after I gave you
those ten cigarettes, remember?
124
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:50,767
( chuckles )
125
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,937
It comes back
to me slowly,
126
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:56,940
but, uh, wasn't it
15 cigarettes?
127
00:05:56,940 --> 00:06:00,860
It was 12. 12, I think,
now that you come to mention it.
128
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:03,488
13?
129
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:04,948
13 it is.
130
00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:08,284
You got a marvelous
memory, Schultz.
131
00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:12,372
It is getting better
every minute.
132
00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:15,375
And haben Sie ein
light, bitte?
133
00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:17,377
Yeah.
134
00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:19,504
You know, Schultz,
135
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,381
there's a lot
of the Scrooge in you.
136
00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:22,465
Danke.
137
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:23,716
Danke.
138
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:27,303
NEWKIRK:
Hello, we got company.
139
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:34,394
Ah, General Burkhalter,
it's been such a long time.
140
00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:35,853
Not long enough, Klink.
141
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:38,273
This is Captain Kurtz.
142
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:42,777
I better tell
Colonel Hogan.
143
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,320
Watch the store
a bit, will you?
144
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,863
Naughty...
145
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:48,241
Come on, move
along, you lot.
146
00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:51,035
Now, with all due respect
to the Captain Kurtz, General,
147
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,662
I'm not in need
of an adjutant.
148
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,247
The captain
is a very able man.
149
00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:55,665
Oh, I am sure
that he is,
150
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:57,667
but that doesn't
change my feelings.
151
00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,502
And he's also
my brother-in-law.
152
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:00,670
Oh, your brother-in-law.
153
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:01,838
By marriage?
154
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:04,424
Yes, that's
the usual way.
155
00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:08,136
How do you feel
about it now, Klink?
156
00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:09,679
Much better.
157
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,973
Hard to imagine Burkhalter
with a family.
158
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,933
Hard to imagine
Burkhalter, period.
159
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:16,811
We don't need another
Kraut officer, do we, Colonel?
160
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:17,854
Neither does Klink.
161
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,188
CAPTAIN:
I am looking forward
162
00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:21,149
to being under your command,
Herr Colonel.
163
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:22,358
Really.
164
00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,777
Yes, Hansie has told
me so much about you.
165
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:25,987
Hansie?
166
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,280
That's me.
167
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:28,865
"General" to you.
168
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,827
Oh, "Hansie." Oh, I think
that's a delightful name.
169
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,537
And to you, too!
170
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,706
Especially you.
171
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:37,707
Jawohl, Herr General.
172
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,208
The captain has been
173
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:40,710
on the Russian front,
174
00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:43,212
but things
are going so well there,
175
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,506
I arranged for his transfer.
176
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:46,799
But I understood that there was
177
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:48,718
a shortage of officers
at the Russian front.
178
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,011
There is, but my wife
179
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:52,972
doesn't want the shortage
to catch up with him.
180
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:55,224
I see.
181
00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:57,560
Captain, I think
that you will find life
182
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,604
at the Luftstalag
quite different.
183
00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:03,107
Oh, yes, sir, but I'm sure
I can learn from you,
184
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:05,276
if you are willing to teach me.
185
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,779
You needn't worry
that he might eventually
186
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,238
take over your command.
187
00:08:09,238 --> 00:08:10,698
Of course not, Herr General.
188
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,992
Only a fool would worry
about a thing like that.
189
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,535
That's what I mean.
190
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:17,413
I have no plans
to replace you, Klink.
191
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,624
Thank you,
192
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:20,958
Herr General.
193
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,795
Welcome Adjuant Kurtz,
194
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:26,339
to the top POW camp
in all of Germany.
195
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:27,799
Thank you, Commandant.
196
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,343
I will try my best
to keep it that way.
197
00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:33,012
Uh, Sergeant Schultz will
show you to your quarters.
198
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,639
Danke. Colonel,
Herr General.
199
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:35,973
Heil Hitler.
200
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:38,226
Heil Hitler.
201
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:40,269
Well, he seems
harmless enou...
202
00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:41,979
I mean, uh,
pleasant enough.
203
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,105
So far, so good.
204
00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:45,566
Oh, I'm sure it is,
but Herr General,
205
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:48,402
I really am not in
need of another officer.
206
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:50,446
Klink, his transfer
is an order
207
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:53,616
from the highest authority
in the Third Reich.
208
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,451
The highest?
209
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:56,619
The Fuhrer?
210
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:57,620
Higher than that.
211
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:00,623
My wife.
212
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,138
Sergeant, put this
man on report.
213
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:17,974
SCHULTZ:
Jawohl, Herr Colonel.
214
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:19,100
On what charge?
215
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:20,434
He needs a shave.
216
00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:21,686
I need a shave?!
217
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:24,647
That's a joke.
He needs a shave. Marvelous.
218
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,357
There's nothing
in the Geneva Convention
219
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,817
that says
a prisoner has to shave.
220
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,235
There is now, Colonel.
221
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,778
Excellent.
222
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:33,656
From now on, all
prisoners will look presentable
223
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:34,991
at morning roll call.
224
00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:37,451
Sorry, Captain,
LeBeau can't look presentable.
225
00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:38,786
Und why not?!
226
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:41,163
Because he's a mess
the first thing in the morning.
227
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:42,498
( laughter )
228
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,666
Silence!
229
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:48,004
Since you think
Colonel Hogan is so funny,
230
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:50,840
I have another
little joke for you.
231
00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:53,342
All privileges revoked
for ten days!
232
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:54,677
Dismissed.
233
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,345
Oh, that's extremely funny.
234
00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:58,306
Dismissed! Back
to the barracks!
235
00:09:58,347 --> 00:09:59,348
Now, you...
What?
236
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:00,474
You shave.
237
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:01,601
Oh, I'm not going to shave.
238
00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:02,852
You want me to
be in trouble?!
239
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:07,690
...achtzehn, neunzehn, zwanzig.
240
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,275
Herr Captain, all present.
241
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:10,359
Very good, Sergeant.
242
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:11,861
What's going on?
243
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,405
The Captain ordered
a surprise roll call.
244
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,824
Fortunately,
all your men are present.
245
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,117
Good night, Colonel.
246
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:19,577
( clicks heels )
247
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:24,457
I got news for you.
248
00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:26,792
That character is not
one of my favorite Krauts.
249
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:29,295
Yeah, well, if he keeps this up,
he's going to get me mad.
250
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:30,254
Oh, really?
251
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,672
Then what happens?
252
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:32,757
I don't know.
253
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:33,883
I've never been mad.
254
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:39,096
Good luck, then.
255
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:41,140
Next. Name.
256
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:43,559
Andrew Carter
and Louis LeBeau.
257
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:46,062
Carter, what
are you doing here?
258
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,772
You can't even dance.
259
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:50,232
Well, that's
where you're wrong.
260
00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:52,651
I've been studying
with LeBeau.
261
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:53,736
Any good?
262
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:54,737
I don't know.
263
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:55,905
Schultz keeps cutting in.
264
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,618
Oh, guten Tag, Captain.
265
00:11:00,659 --> 00:11:03,662
Uh, care for one of our
tickets to the dance?
266
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:05,414
All welcome,
even Germans.
267
00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:07,041
That's very
decent of you.
268
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,210
If there was more
dancing in the world,
269
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:10,586
there would be less war.
270
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:12,588
That's what my old
mum used to say.
271
00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:15,257
She was a beautiful dancer
right up to the end.
272
00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:17,635
Who gave you permission
to run this dance?
273
00:11:17,676 --> 00:11:20,596
Uh, would you care to be
one of our judges, Captain?
274
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:21,889
The commandant?
275
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,599
That's an excellent
suggestion--
276
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,518
you and the commandant,
our judges--
277
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,019
both very
fair-minded men.
278
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:29,396
Once more, I ask you.
279
00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:34,693
I did, Herr Captain.
280
00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:36,112
Uh, for morale
purposes, sir.
281
00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:38,280
You see, look, the dance
is on Friday night.
282
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,199
That's the loneliest
night of the week.
283
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,368
It used to be Saturday,
but they changed it.
284
00:11:42,409 --> 00:11:45,287
Sergeant, you have
exceeded your authority.
285
00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:46,956
Place yourself on report.
286
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,374
Jawohl, Herr Captain.
287
00:11:48,415 --> 00:11:49,500
The dance is off.
288
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,377
Take that thing down.
289
00:11:56,757 --> 00:11:58,467
I'd like to sort him out.
290
00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:00,970
If that means homicide,
I'm with you.
291
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,471
What's he bucking
for, Colonel?
292
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:04,306
Can't be Monster
of the Year.
293
00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:05,307
He's already won that.
294
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:13,065
And Captain Kurtz,
our new adjutant,
295
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:15,484
has what I call a brilliant idea
296
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:17,403
for quick
identification of all prisoners.
297
00:12:17,444 --> 00:12:21,407
Now, these pictures were made
from your personnel records,
298
00:12:21,448 --> 00:12:25,077
and from now on,
each prisoner will be required
299
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:28,247
to wear his photograph
prominently displayed
300
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:30,958
on his uniform at all times.
301
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,585
Only if you wear yours
all the time!
302
00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:33,711
We're not gonna
wear that.
303
00:12:33,752 --> 00:12:34,712
KLINK:
Silence!
304
00:12:34,753 --> 00:12:35,838
Thank you, Colonel.
305
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,256
( grumbling continues )
306
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:40,175
Sergeant, distribute
the pictures.
307
00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:41,176
Jawohl, Herr Captain.
308
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,226
Sir,
309
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:50,519
may I keep mine
in my pocket?
310
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:52,062
In your pocket?
311
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,440
I-I take
a terrible picture.
312
00:12:54,481 --> 00:12:55,899
Achtung!
313
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:59,570
I warn you, anyone caught
without his identification
314
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:02,197
will be subject to
severe punishment.
315
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,703
Can I have
mine redone?
316
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:09,204
This is not
my good side.
317
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:13,709
All privileges revoked
another ten days.
318
00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:16,253
Commandant,
319
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:19,006
these men are prisoners
of war, not criminals.
320
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:20,507
I protest.
321
00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:21,884
Naturally.
322
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,094
Captain Kurtz is
demoralizing Stalag 13.
323
00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:26,430
I am only interested
in one thing,
324
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,891
and that is maintaining
our no escape record.
325
00:13:28,932 --> 00:13:31,226
All disciplinary measures
have been taken
326
00:13:31,268 --> 00:13:33,520
with the approval
of my superior officer.
327
00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:34,813
That's me.
328
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,982
Are you letting this arrogant,
329
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:39,276
stupid birdbrain run this camp?
330
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:41,528
Are you insulting
my adjutant?
331
00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:43,322
Doing the best I can.
332
00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:45,157
We have nothing
further to say to each other.
333
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,158
HOGAN:
Yes, we have.
334
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,576
Order him
to take the pressure off,
335
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:49,411
or I promise you,
there's gonna be an escape.
336
00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:51,997
You are threatening
the commandant!
337
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:53,415
Take it any way you like.
338
00:13:53,457 --> 00:13:56,293
KLINK:
Thank you, Hogan, for giving us fair warning.
339
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:57,753
Captain.
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
340
00:13:57,753 --> 00:13:58,921
Double the sentries.
341
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,631
Order day and night
patrols into the woods
342
00:14:00,672 --> 00:14:01,799
around the camp.
343
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,926
As of now,
we're on 24-hour alert.
344
00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:05,344
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant,
345
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,805
and may I say, sir,
that is a brilliant move.
346
00:14:07,846 --> 00:14:09,348
You would.
347
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:11,809
You may say so, sir.
348
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:13,602
Brilliant.
349
00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:16,605
How was I to know
they'd react that way?
350
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:20,150
Ah, they really
got us boxed in now.
351
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:21,360
We may get a message
352
00:14:21,401 --> 00:14:22,945
to blow up that train
any minute now.
353
00:14:22,986 --> 00:14:24,321
Yeah, and
we can't get out of camp
354
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:25,489
to do the job.
355
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:27,074
Why don't we blow up
Kurtz instead?
356
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,492
( laughing )
357
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,077
First decent idea
I've heard today.
358
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,958
Carter, if you leave
that door unlatched,
359
00:14:35,999 --> 00:14:37,626
anything's liable
to crawl in here.
360
00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:41,046
What is it now, Kurtz?
361
00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:42,840
Why don't you just
move in here?
362
00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:44,466
Save yourself
a lot of time.
363
00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:47,261
Colonel, I would like a word
with you, privately.
364
00:14:47,302 --> 00:14:49,638
All right.
365
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,974
Here.
366
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:04,653
Very cozy.
367
00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:06,238
Glad you like it.
368
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,407
I was thinking of
having it done over in Chinese modern.
369
00:15:08,448 --> 00:15:10,117
( chuckles ):
Very good.
370
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:11,660
You Americans.
371
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:12,953
What do you want, Kurtz?
372
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:15,372
Colonel, I have
the distinct feeling
373
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:16,999
that you don't like me.
374
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:19,376
Whatever gave
you that idea?
375
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,628
I admit I've been
very strict with your men.
376
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:24,715
Well, the important thing
is, are you having fun?
377
00:15:24,756 --> 00:15:26,300
I'm really not
so bad, you know.
378
00:15:26,341 --> 00:15:28,051
You could fool me.
379
00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:32,139
( clears throat )
380
00:15:32,180 --> 00:15:34,808
Hogan, it has
been necessary
381
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:36,435
for me to try
to impress Klink
382
00:15:36,476 --> 00:15:38,186
and Burkhalter
or be sent back
383
00:15:38,186 --> 00:15:39,354
to the Russian front,
384
00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:42,024
and let me speak
quite frankly, Hogan.
385
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:45,193
I believe Germany
is losing the war in Russia.
386
00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:47,321
Fine. How do we lose you?
387
00:15:47,362 --> 00:15:50,532
If that happens, I do not want
to be on the losing side.
388
00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:52,534
I need a friend
among the winners.
389
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:54,870
You're certainly
going about it cleverly.
390
00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:57,998
How can I prove to you,
Hogan, I mean what I say?
391
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,167
Well...
392
00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:01,919
No, you'd never do it.
393
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:02,753
Do what?
394
00:16:02,794 --> 00:16:05,213
Nah, forget it.
395
00:16:05,213 --> 00:16:07,466
Nobody drops dead
just to prove a point.
396
00:16:09,259 --> 00:16:11,053
Hogan, how would
you like to escape?
397
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,929
I can arrange it.
398
00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:16,850
You mean it?
399
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:18,352
You're laying
it on the line?
400
00:16:18,393 --> 00:16:20,187
Try me.
401
00:16:21,563 --> 00:16:23,106
I can't escape.
402
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,775
I'm in command,
403
00:16:24,816 --> 00:16:26,902
but one of my men was
planning a little trip
404
00:16:26,943 --> 00:16:28,654
before Klink
tightened up security.
405
00:16:28,695 --> 00:16:30,030
Is he ready?
406
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:31,615
Could be.
407
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,116
Tomorrow night?
408
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:34,451
Good.
409
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,411
Between guard towers 4 and 5.
410
00:16:36,411 --> 00:16:38,580
I assure you,
he will have a clear path.
411
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:40,248
What assurance
do we have,
412
00:16:40,248 --> 00:16:41,917
you don't
double-cross us?
413
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:43,919
My word of honor.
414
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:46,797
You don't know
it, Kurtz.
415
00:16:46,838 --> 00:16:48,674
You're a funny man.
416
00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:03,021
Oh, what did he do?
417
00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:08,110
Kurtz has
fixed it
418
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:10,153
for one of you to
escape tomorrow night.
419
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:11,279
Newkirk?
420
00:17:11,279 --> 00:17:12,447
Yes, sir.
421
00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:13,657
I need a
volunteer.
422
00:17:13,698 --> 00:17:14,950
Well, sir, the, uh...
423
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:16,785
The woods are crawling
with Krauts.
424
00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:20,080
You know, they're ready
to shoot at anything, and, uh...
425
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:21,540
Well, to tell you the truth,
426
00:17:21,581 --> 00:17:23,917
I don't fancy using the tunnel
at this particular time.
427
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:25,585
You don't have to
use the tunnel.
428
00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:27,546
Kurtz has arranged it so
you go through the wire.
429
00:17:27,587 --> 00:17:29,965
Kurtz? Can we trust him?
430
00:17:30,006 --> 00:17:31,967
We'll find out
tomorrow night.
431
00:17:33,468 --> 00:17:35,637
I'll find out
tomorrow night?
432
00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:37,305
Charming.
433
00:17:37,305 --> 00:17:40,434
You volunteered.
434
00:17:40,475 --> 00:17:41,977
Well, legally,
you got me there.
435
00:17:42,018 --> 00:17:43,311
That's right.
That's right.
436
00:17:43,311 --> 00:17:45,313
Did I ask either of you?
437
00:17:59,202 --> 00:18:01,288
( gunfire )
438
00:18:04,749 --> 00:18:07,460
Kamerad! Kamerad!
439
00:18:07,502 --> 00:18:08,837
You are under arrest!
440
00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:10,005
Uh, yes, sir.
441
00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:11,298
Well, as you can see,
442
00:18:11,339 --> 00:18:13,008
my hands are in the
basic Kamerad position.
443
00:18:13,049 --> 00:18:14,509
You have walked
through a trap
444
00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:16,720
which will now close
around you for 30 days.
445
00:18:16,761 --> 00:18:18,180
It seems very
logical, sir,
446
00:18:18,221 --> 00:18:19,514
under the
circumstances.
447
00:18:19,514 --> 00:18:20,682
Take him away.
448
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:21,850
Good work, Captain.
449
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:23,018
Thank you, Colonel.
450
00:18:23,059 --> 00:18:24,352
It was kind of you
to supervise.
451
00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:26,188
You may call
on me any time.
452
00:18:27,939 --> 00:18:30,442
Big double-cross
with your name on it.
453
00:18:30,483 --> 00:18:31,818
Hogan, I had no choice.
454
00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,028
I had to arrest him.
455
00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:34,779
You expect me
to believe that?
456
00:18:34,821 --> 00:18:36,865
When I ordered the guards
away from the wire,
457
00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:38,533
one of them reported it
to Klink.
458
00:18:38,533 --> 00:18:39,910
He asked questions.
459
00:18:39,951 --> 00:18:42,746
I had to tell him the truth,
or at least part of it.
460
00:18:42,787 --> 00:18:44,205
Why didn't you
get word to me?
461
00:18:44,205 --> 00:18:45,582
We could have
called it off.
462
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:47,167
Klink watched me every minute.
463
00:18:47,208 --> 00:18:49,169
One of my men is
in the cooler.
464
00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:50,211
I want him out.
465
00:18:50,211 --> 00:18:51,630
I will arrange it, Hogan,
466
00:18:51,671 --> 00:18:52,797
as soon as
possible.
467
00:18:53,048 --> 00:18:54,215
Hogan...
468
00:18:54,257 --> 00:18:55,592
Hogan, you must
believe me.
469
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,552
I did not
lie to you.
470
00:18:57,594 --> 00:18:59,512
Of course you didn't.
471
00:18:59,554 --> 00:19:01,848
Why would I want to go
to all this trouble
472
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:03,475
just to trap one of your men?
473
00:19:03,516 --> 00:19:05,435
Are you kidding?
It's a game with you.
474
00:19:05,518 --> 00:19:07,896
You misjudge me, Hogan.
475
00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:11,775
Like everyone else,
I want to get out of this war.
476
00:19:11,816 --> 00:19:13,568
You are my chance.
477
00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:15,612
Well, I can't help you.
478
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:16,905
I believe you can.
479
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:18,365
How?
480
00:19:18,406 --> 00:19:19,616
I'm a prisoner of war.
481
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:22,577
You are also the senior officer.
482
00:19:22,577 --> 00:19:25,413
You must have connections.
483
00:19:25,413 --> 00:19:28,917
Possibly even outside Stalag 13?
484
00:19:28,958 --> 00:19:30,377
Well, I don't.
485
00:19:30,418 --> 00:19:31,586
So forget it.
486
00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:34,589
Look, I want to
get some sleep.
487
00:19:34,589 --> 00:19:36,591
Maybe I'll get lucky
and dream of a world
488
00:19:36,591 --> 00:19:38,426
without guys
like you in it.
489
00:19:48,019 --> 00:19:51,398
"Train leaves Dusseldorf
1900 hours tomorrow.
490
00:19:51,439 --> 00:19:52,816
Good luck."
491
00:19:52,857 --> 00:19:56,444
Yes, that's what we need,
good luck, and also a miracle.
492
00:19:56,444 --> 00:19:57,946
1900 hours.
493
00:19:57,946 --> 00:19:59,906
That means it gets
to the right spot,
494
00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:01,783
uh, four hours and
15 minutes later.
495
00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:04,035
Well, we can't get out,
so forget it.
496
00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:06,287
Kurtz thinks I've
got connections
497
00:20:06,329 --> 00:20:09,249
outside of Stalag 13.
498
00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:11,292
Well, I have.
499
00:20:11,292 --> 00:20:13,294
Two very important
connections
500
00:20:13,294 --> 00:20:16,423
that lead straight
into a telephone.
501
00:20:21,052 --> 00:20:22,470
Who are these people, Hogan?
502
00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:23,471
The underground?
503
00:20:23,471 --> 00:20:25,682
Just people, plain
ordinary people.
504
00:20:25,723 --> 00:20:28,184
Look, you get too nosy,
the deal's off, Kurtz.
505
00:20:28,226 --> 00:20:30,478
Why must I meet them?
506
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,980
Because they
control the means
507
00:20:32,021 --> 00:20:33,690
for getting you
out of the war to England.
508
00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:38,945
There is such an organization
here in Germany?
509
00:20:38,987 --> 00:20:40,780
There you go asking
questions again.
510
00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:42,323
Well, I...
511
00:20:42,365 --> 00:20:44,701
Look, Kurtz, I'll
lay it out for you just one more time.
512
00:20:44,742 --> 00:20:45,785
We leave camp
tomorrow night
513
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:47,245
alone, just
the two of us.
514
00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:48,913
We meet them at
a rendezvous point.
515
00:20:48,955 --> 00:20:50,331
They look you over.
516
00:20:50,331 --> 00:20:52,375
Then they decide
the next step.
517
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:53,793
That's up to them.
518
00:20:53,835 --> 00:20:55,670
Now take it
or leave it.
519
00:20:55,670 --> 00:20:57,672
Hogan, what assurances
do I have
520
00:20:57,672 --> 00:20:59,591
this is not a trap to kill me?
521
00:20:59,632 --> 00:21:00,967
Captain Kurtz,
522
00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:03,261
who'd want to knock off
a nice guy like you?
523
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:09,434
An underground
organization?
524
00:21:09,475 --> 00:21:10,643
Impossible.
525
00:21:10,685 --> 00:21:13,062
I believe it does exist,
Herr Colonel.
526
00:21:13,104 --> 00:21:15,690
And you mean, Hogan
will lead us to them?
527
00:21:15,732 --> 00:21:17,233
Exactly.
528
00:21:17,275 --> 00:21:21,112
Amazing how you
grasp things, sir.
529
00:21:21,154 --> 00:21:22,030
Experience, Captain.
530
00:21:22,071 --> 00:21:23,239
Experience.
531
00:21:23,281 --> 00:21:24,449
( laughs )
532
00:21:24,490 --> 00:21:25,700
So, we're going
533
00:21:25,700 --> 00:21:27,493
to catch the
underground organization
534
00:21:27,535 --> 00:21:29,495
and the great
Hogan himself?!
535
00:21:29,537 --> 00:21:30,914
( speaking German )
536
00:21:30,955 --> 00:21:32,207
May I suggest,
537
00:21:32,248 --> 00:21:35,043
you have a squad
of men ready to fire?
538
00:21:35,084 --> 00:21:38,379
I will signal by flare
when I make contact.
539
00:21:38,421 --> 00:21:40,381
Wouldn't that
be dangerous?
540
00:21:40,423 --> 00:21:43,259
You think you
could handle the situation alone?
541
00:21:43,301 --> 00:21:47,013
Sir, my bravery is inspired
by my commanding officer.
542
00:21:47,055 --> 00:21:49,057
Thank you,
Captain Kurtz.
543
00:21:49,098 --> 00:21:51,893
I, uh, daresay
that you and I make a great team.
544
00:21:51,893 --> 00:21:55,063
Me, sitting here
supplying the inspiration.
545
00:21:55,104 --> 00:21:56,606
You, out there
in the field.
546
00:21:56,731 --> 00:21:58,900
Thank you, sir.
547
00:21:58,942 --> 00:22:00,818
Good luck to
you, Captain.
548
00:22:07,241 --> 00:22:08,660
Almost one hour, Hogan.
549
00:22:08,701 --> 00:22:10,078
Where are your people?
550
00:22:10,078 --> 00:22:12,538
Instructions were
to pick up that telephone in...
551
00:22:12,580 --> 00:22:13,831
five minutes.
552
00:22:13,873 --> 00:22:15,249
They'll know the
coast is clear.
553
00:22:15,291 --> 00:22:16,417
They'll be here.
554
00:22:16,459 --> 00:22:17,919
Who are they?
555
00:22:17,919 --> 00:22:20,046
Still in there
trying, huh, Kurtz?
556
00:22:20,088 --> 00:22:21,422
( train whistle blowing )
557
00:22:26,177 --> 00:22:27,512
Almost time, Hogan.
558
00:22:27,553 --> 00:22:29,806
All right, I'll
make the call.
559
00:22:29,847 --> 00:22:32,684
Don't touch that
phone, Hogan.
560
00:22:32,725 --> 00:22:34,519
Now the trap is set.
561
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,604
Trap?
562
00:22:36,646 --> 00:22:38,272
Don't you want
to leave Germany?
563
00:22:38,314 --> 00:22:39,524
Nonsense.
564
00:22:39,565 --> 00:22:41,275
I am a loyal officer
of the Third Reich.
565
00:22:41,275 --> 00:22:42,485
My place is here,
566
00:22:42,527 --> 00:22:43,903
dealing with the
enemy, like you.
567
00:22:43,945 --> 00:22:45,655
Kurtz, I guess I had you
figured wrong, huh?
568
00:22:45,697 --> 00:22:47,490
Mmm.
569
00:22:47,532 --> 00:22:49,617
Now I will use
that phone.
570
00:22:49,659 --> 00:22:51,577
When your underground
organization comes,
571
00:22:51,619 --> 00:22:53,287
they will find
a warm welcome
572
00:22:53,287 --> 00:22:55,415
from Colonel Klink
and his men.
573
00:22:55,456 --> 00:22:56,624
( train whistle blows )
574
00:22:56,624 --> 00:22:58,251
Okay, Kurtz, you win.
575
00:22:58,292 --> 00:23:01,170
You want to make
the call-- go ahead.
576
00:23:05,133 --> 00:23:07,176
( explosion )
577
00:23:14,183 --> 00:23:16,394
All right, Kurtz,
on your feet.
578
00:23:16,436 --> 00:23:19,021
Hogan, what happened?
579
00:23:19,063 --> 00:23:21,482
You, my friend, just blew up
a ten-car munitions train
580
00:23:21,524 --> 00:23:23,568
headed for the Eastern front.
581
00:23:23,609 --> 00:23:24,819
No.
582
00:23:24,819 --> 00:23:27,280
Kurtz, the next time
you make a call,
583
00:23:27,321 --> 00:23:29,282
the least you can do
is use a nickel.
584
00:23:36,581 --> 00:23:37,623
And he was
using me as bait
585
00:23:37,665 --> 00:23:39,500
to try to catch
this underground organization.
586
00:23:39,500 --> 00:23:41,294
Well, he found this wire
that was connected
587
00:23:41,335 --> 00:23:42,837
to some explosive charges
on the track.
588
00:23:42,879 --> 00:23:45,173
He followed it and tried
to disconnect it in time, but...
589
00:23:45,173 --> 00:23:48,509
he didn't make it.
590
00:23:48,551 --> 00:23:49,886
So, he was blown up
with the train.
591
00:23:49,927 --> 00:23:51,053
Afraid so, General.
592
00:23:51,095 --> 00:23:52,472
A great tragedy.
593
00:23:52,513 --> 00:23:54,891
It's hard to believe
that he's gone.
594
00:23:54,932 --> 00:23:56,267
Right.
He wasn't a bad guy.
595
00:23:56,309 --> 00:23:57,810
At least my wife
will know
596
00:23:57,852 --> 00:23:59,812
her brother died
a hero's death.
597
00:23:59,854 --> 00:24:02,064
Germany has suffered a loss.
598
00:24:06,652 --> 00:24:10,823
Klink, you were his
commanding officer.
599
00:24:10,865 --> 00:24:13,159
Write him up for
an Iron Cross.
600
00:24:13,201 --> 00:24:15,495
I will see that
it is approved.
601
00:24:15,536 --> 00:24:17,622
Yes, Herr General.
602
00:24:23,878 --> 00:24:25,213
You hear
that, tiger?
603
00:24:25,213 --> 00:24:26,339
You're a hero.
604
00:24:26,380 --> 00:24:27,924
An alive, dead hero.
605
00:24:27,965 --> 00:24:29,675
Now I suppose
you will kill me.
606
00:24:29,717 --> 00:24:30,635
No, I'm afraid
we do things
607
00:24:30,676 --> 00:24:31,719
a little
differently on our side.
608
00:24:31,719 --> 00:24:32,720
Unfortunately.
609
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:33,763
Tonight, the
underground
610
00:24:33,804 --> 00:24:35,514
will start you on
your way to England.
611
00:24:35,556 --> 00:24:37,725
You'll sit out the
war in a POW camp.
612
00:24:37,725 --> 00:24:39,602
Bon voyage,General.
613
00:24:40,686 --> 00:24:41,854
And oh, Kurtz,
don't forget
614
00:24:41,896 --> 00:24:43,064
to keep in touch,
will you?
615
00:24:43,105 --> 00:24:44,857
I'm saving a punch
in the nose for you
616
00:24:44,899 --> 00:24:47,109
till after the war,
just for old times' sake.
617
00:24:47,159 --> 00:24:51,709
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