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1
00:00:03,629 --> 00:00:06,882
ANNOUNCER:
CBS presents this programin color.
2
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:27,611
( theme song playing )
3
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:03,689
( explosion )
4
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,361
Hey, Kinch is in the tunnel!
5
00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:13,198
( Kinch coughing )
6
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,324
HOGAN:
You all right?
7
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,159
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm okay.
8
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:17,494
What happened?
9
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:18,662
What happened?
10
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:21,498
Newkirk, what did you
and Carter put in that bottle--
11
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:23,166
the one marked
"furniture polish"?
12
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,168
Oh, no, that was
nitroglycerin.
13
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,004
Oh, Carter should've
told you.
14
00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:29,339
Yeah, yeah, well,
I found that out for myself.
15
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:31,675
You know, I really
didn't mind that you didn't scratch
16
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,510
the "furniture polish"
off the label,
17
00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:36,013
but why did you
have to leave that other thing on?
18
00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:38,682
What?
Shake well before using.
19
00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:39,850
Any damage
in the tunnel?
20
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:41,226
No, just the radio.
21
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:42,519
The radio?
22
00:01:42,561 --> 00:01:45,021
It's going to take quite
some time to fix that thing.
23
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:47,691
We got to listen to that
BBC broadcast today.
24
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:48,859
There's an important
message for us.
25
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,861
Yeah, well, that radio
ain't broadcasting nothing
26
00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:52,863
to nobody today.
27
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:55,615
What did...
what did I hear?!
28
00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:59,077
What did I hear?
29
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,746
I know when I hear something.
30
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:01,913
All right, Schultz,
let's try to help you.
31
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,248
What was it
you heard?
32
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:07,919
It was like, uh...
boom, boom!
33
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,546
Boom-boom.
34
00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:11,631
Was it like this?
35
00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:18,388
No, it was like
boom, boom!
36
00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:19,723
Was it this?
37
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,558
HEROES:
Boom! Boom!
38
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,227
Stop it! Stop it.
39
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,229
Now, you listen to me.
40
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:29,232
On account of you, I lost
already a three-day pass.
41
00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:31,067
I'm up for another one.
42
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:35,113
I want nothing to happen,
you understand?
43
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,781
All right, Schultz,
don't worry.
44
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:40,202
So please,
no more boom-boom.
45
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:45,707
We got 20 minutes till
that BBC broadcast,
46
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:46,917
and we've got
to hear it.
47
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:47,918
Any chance of fixing
48
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,419
the radio?
Not a chance.
49
00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:51,338
It'll take at least a couple
of days to put it together.
50
00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:54,549
The only other radio
in camp is in the commandant's office.
51
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:57,886
Klink isn't going to let you
listen to the BBC on his radio.
52
00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:00,388
Nah, he'd turn you down in
a second if you asked him.
53
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:01,723
Who said I was
going to ask him?
54
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:03,558
When Emily Post
doesn't work,
55
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,352
you use Sigmund Freud.
56
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:21,826
What is going on here?
57
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,620
Just planting some shrubbery
around your office, Commandant.
58
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:24,663
Thought it might brighten up
the place.
59
00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:27,165
Carry on.
60
00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:37,467
( loudly ):
Why is Commandant Klink so suspicious?
61
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:38,593
Ah, it isn't his fault.
62
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,971
It's part of the German officer
staff training.
63
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:43,306
Klink can't do
what he wants to.
64
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:46,142
He's got to conform.
It's part of the system.
65
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:47,811
You mean he's afraid?
66
00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:49,437
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe that's it.
67
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:52,315
Don't put those flowers
too close together, huh?
68
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:55,235
KINCH:
What's he afraid of, Colonel Hogan?
69
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:56,945
Lots of things.
70
00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:59,739
Little things,
like making personal decisions on his own.
71
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,408
Back home, we listened
to the German broadcast
72
00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:04,411
all the time, but you
never see Klink listen to the BBC broadcast.
73
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,413
I guess he's afraid.
74
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,415
LeBEAU:
That's it. He's afraid, all right.
75
00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:10,750
NEWKIRK:
That must be the answer.
76
00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:16,464
MAN:
The news continues good on all fronts.
77
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:18,883
A bit of fighting took place
today south of El Alamein.
78
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:21,678
Rommel's tank forces
retreating slowly
79
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:25,265
under the heavy barrages from
General Montgomery's artillery.
80
00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:27,851
( volume increases )
81
00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:30,895
( broadcast continuesin background )
82
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,442
"Top priority project
for you to handle.
83
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:37,444
"Details in parachute drop
84
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:40,613
"at Grid Point A-12
tonight, 9:23.
85
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:42,407
Matter of vital importance."
86
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,199
That's it.
87
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,716
Hey, look at
all that money!
88
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,176
Blimey, we're rich,
we're rich.
89
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,218
Hold it!
90
00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:05,388
This money is supposed
to be delivered
91
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:08,224
to a Ludwig Strasser
for a map with the location
92
00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:10,059
of all the new
rocket launching sites.
93
00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:11,394
How much money
is he getting?
94
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:14,063
All of it.
100,000 marks.
95
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:16,065
We've got to get the map
to the allies
96
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:17,442
so they can send
their bombers over
97
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,068
and knock out
those launching sites.
98
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,445
When would that be, sir?
99
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,280
In two days.
Wow...
100
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,281
KINCH:
Hey, watch it! Klink is coming.
101
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,407
Hide the money.
102
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,618
Not up there.
Under the table! Under the table!
103
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:27,619
Please!
Not there, not there.
104
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,245
Well, where, where?
Anyplace!
105
00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:36,586
Uh-huh. Hogan,
I see you don't agree
106
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,254
with our rules
and regulations.
107
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:39,839
Well, which ones
you have in mind, Commandant?
108
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:41,591
Lights out was
30 minutes ago.
109
00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,259
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
I got carried away.
110
00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:44,761
We were having a
little celebration.
111
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:45,929
Celebration?
112
00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:47,263
I don't have
to remind you.
113
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,432
Today's the birthday
of Attila the Hun.
114
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:50,600
Disgraceful.
115
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,644
Well, look, I'm not so
crazy about him myself,
116
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:54,604
but he is one of
your national heroes.
117
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:55,605
We just got carried away
118
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,106
with the spirit of the
holiday, that's all.
119
00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:58,441
Never mind, Hogan--
I just want you to know
120
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:02,445
that this will not go
unpunished, right, Schu...?
121
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:03,863
Right, Schultz?
122
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:05,406
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
123
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:07,408
Someone will be punished.
124
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,077
The one who's
responsible, right, Schultz?
125
00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:12,914
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant,
the one who is responsible.
126
00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:14,749
The one who's to see
to it that lights out
127
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,584
are at the proper
time, right, Schultz?
128
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:17,752
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
129
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:21,923
The one who has to see to it
that lights are out...
130
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:24,801
I'll take your
three-day pass now.
131
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,305
Please, Herr Kommandant...
132
00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:55,373
By the way...
for your information,
133
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:59,752
I listen to the BBC
whenever I feel like it.
134
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:03,214
Whenever I feel like it.
135
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:06,884
Be careful, don't,
don't, don't! Ow, ow!
136
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,428
It's red-hot.
137
00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:09,804
The coffee,
the coffee.
138
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:21,399
Oh, no!
139
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,234
Well, it's ruined.
140
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,570
I didn't know Klink
was going to light the pass.
141
00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:28,573
It's not your
fault, Newkirk.
142
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:30,033
The problem is,
where do we get
143
00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:31,951
another 100,000 marks
144
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:33,453
so that we can
get the map
145
00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:35,621
from Ludwig
Strasser?
146
00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:37,790
How 'bout the same place
we got this money?
147
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:41,794
Mm-mm. No way to contact
the allies. No radio.
148
00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:43,629
No time to fix
it, either.
149
00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:45,048
And in two days, the
Germans start using
150
00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:46,215
those rocket
launching sites
151
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:48,384
unless we
knock 'em out.
152
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:53,848
( sighs ):
Ludwig Strasser.
153
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:57,769
It's the story
of my life.
154
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,855
I never could
hang on to money.
155
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:04,400
( doorbell buzzing )
156
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:08,112
You sent for a plumber?
157
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,989
No, you've
made a mistake.
158
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:12,075
No, Herr Strasser.
159
00:08:12,116 --> 00:08:13,993
No mistake.
160
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,495
Who are you?
161
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:17,455
There are no penguins
at Gibraltar.
162
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,415
There are no canaries
in the Canary Islands.
163
00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:21,292
Blue is the most
attractive color.
164
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,336
White is more
suitable for brides.
165
00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:25,296
That's why there are
so many June weddings.
166
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:28,090
Good. Give me the money.
167
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:30,218
Not so fast. What about the map?
168
00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:31,636
Oh, I've got it.
169
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:34,013
You'll get it
when you give me the money.
170
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,097
There's a little problem.
171
00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:38,935
Problem? You don't have
100,000 marks?
172
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:39,936
Not exactly.
173
00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,687
Exactly how much do you have?
174
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,023
Nothing... but we'll
get you the money
175
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:46,108
in a few days
if you give me the map now.
176
00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:50,404
In the spy business,
there are no credit accounts.
177
00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:51,781
Doesn't it mean anything to you
178
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,783
that you may be saving
a lot of lives?
179
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:56,619
Oh, that's another thing
about the spy business.
180
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:59,789
The only thing we're interested
in saving is money.
181
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,625
You know,
that big heart of yours
182
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:06,128
is going to swell right up
and choke you to death.
183
00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:08,798
In case you have
any foolish ideas,
184
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,300
the map isn't here,
185
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,302
but I can lay
my hands on it
186
00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:17,306
in five minutes
when I need it.
187
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:20,977
Thanks. You saved both of us
a little trouble.
188
00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:22,979
I'll see what I can do
about getting the money.
189
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,939
Oh, and, um, while
you're here...
190
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:25,940
Yes?
191
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:28,317
Could you do something
about a dripping faucet?
192
00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:31,070
That's another thing
about the spy business.
193
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,738
We don't do anything for drips.
194
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:40,830
So, it's strictly no dice unless
we come up with 100,000 marks.
195
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:45,167
Where does everybody
usually go
196
00:09:45,209 --> 00:09:46,252
when they're
looking for money?
197
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:48,337
Where?
198
00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:51,340
The bank.
199
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:53,759
Unfortunately,
we don't have an account.
200
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,303
So we make
a withdrawal
201
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:56,137
without an
account.
202
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,597
Rob a bank?!
203
00:09:57,638 --> 00:10:00,558
Banks don't like to be robbed.
What if we get caught?
204
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,559
What's the penalty
for that?
205
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,518
They throw you
in prison, right?
206
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:03,936
And where are we now?
In prison.
207
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:06,772
So what do we
got to lose?
208
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:08,441
It'll take all of
us to do the job.
209
00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:10,443
Sir, how are we going
to get into town
210
00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:11,444
in broad daylight?
211
00:10:11,485 --> 00:10:13,446
There'll be at least
two roll calls.
212
00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:15,740
One of us wouldn't be missed,
but if we all go...
213
00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:19,785
I've got that
figured out, too.
214
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:41,724
What is going on?!
215
00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:43,392
I said what's going on?!
216
00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:46,645
Schultz, bring these men
to my office right away.
217
00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:47,646
Jawohl,Herr Kommandant!
218
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:49,815
What are you doing?!
What are you...?
219
00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:51,192
Why do you want us
to go there?
220
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:52,109
We haven't done anything.
221
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:02,369
Is something wrong,
Commandant?
222
00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:04,080
"Is something wrong?"
223
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,248
Yes, there's
something wrong!
224
00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:08,834
That imbecile was throwing dirt
into my office!
225
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:11,420
I'll have to ask you
not to call my men names.
226
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:13,089
I'll call him
anything I like!
227
00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:14,381
And don't raise
your voice to him.
228
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:15,508
I'll say anything
I like to him.
229
00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:16,592
I say you won't.
230
00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:17,760
We'll see about that.
Schultz.
231
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,845
Throw that man
into solitary.
232
00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:21,764
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!
233
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,766
Now, hold it,
Schultz.
234
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,267
Why just one of them?
235
00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:26,769
Why not both of them?
236
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:29,271
Throw both of them
into solitary!
237
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:30,564
Now, hold it,
Schultz.
238
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:31,649
Hogan, I warn you.
239
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:32,775
Your rank
will not protect you
240
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:34,193
from the same punishment
as your men.
241
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:37,696
( chuckles, then laughs )
242
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,990
You wouldn't dare.
243
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,660
Him, too!
244
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:43,953
Hogan?
245
00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:45,454
Schultz, you heard me.
246
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:47,998
Now we'll see
if 24 hours in the cooler
247
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,459
won't teach them
a little discipline.
248
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:52,878
If you please,
Colonel Hogan.
249
00:11:58,217 --> 00:11:59,927
I'll toss you for the bed.
250
00:12:02,137 --> 00:12:04,640
Okay, the loser gets it.
251
00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:24,577
This looks like it,
all right.
252
00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:27,413
Any reason it's this
particular bank, sir?
253
00:12:27,454 --> 00:12:29,415
Yeah.
It's the only one in town.
254
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,461
In the middle of the holdup,
don't get trigger happy.
255
00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:59,445
No, no, I don't think so, Fritz.
256
00:12:59,486 --> 00:13:01,530
Whatever you say,
Herr Beyler.
257
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:02,531
Yeah, I'm afraid not.
258
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:03,782
Come.
259
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,326
Excuse me, gentlemen.
260
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:06,619
Can I help you?
261
00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:08,162
Who are you?
262
00:13:08,203 --> 00:13:11,081
I am Herr Brinksmeyer,
the owner of the bank.
263
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:13,500
Herr Beyler, president
of Beyler Brothers Company.
264
00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:15,044
I am very happy
to meet you.
265
00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:17,630
You've heard of Beyler Brothers
Company, of course?
266
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:19,048
Of course.
267
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,300
Of, uh, Hamburg, I think?
268
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:22,718
Hamburg, Frankfurt
and Berlin.
269
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:24,219
Ja, of course.
270
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:26,555
Is there anything
I can do for you gentlemen?
271
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:30,184
Well, we had planned on opening
a branch factory in this town,
272
00:13:30,225 --> 00:13:34,146
but I don't think
you have the proper
273
00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:35,647
banking facilities.
274
00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:37,066
If I may say so...
275
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,359
Herr Beyler said no.
276
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,568
Ah, Fritz.
277
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:41,070
I didn't say
positively no.
278
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:42,780
Now, you were saying?
279
00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:44,573
Our bank may be small,
280
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:48,744
but we have every facility,
und a foreign department,
281
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:51,914
und our assets
are over 12 million marks.
282
00:13:51,955 --> 00:13:53,582
Sounds very good.
283
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:56,001
What about cash on hand?
284
00:13:56,043 --> 00:14:00,422
Say I wanted to cash a check
for... 100,000 marks.
285
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:02,674
No trouble at all.
286
00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:04,093
Very good.
287
00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:06,762
What about security
against holdups?
288
00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:09,681
All our tellers are armed.
289
00:14:09,723 --> 00:14:13,519
There is a police station
right across the street,
290
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,104
und in the balcony,
291
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,564
we have a guard
with a machine gun.
292
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:23,028
You have
a nice little bank here.
293
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:24,947
Do you give calendars
at Christmas?
294
00:14:24,988 --> 00:14:27,783
Every year, a different picture
of the Fuhrer.
295
00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:31,078
I'll discuss it with my board
of directors and let you know.
296
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,288
BRINKSMEYER:
Thank you, Herr Beyler.
297
00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:34,623
Auf Wiedersehn.Wiedersehn.
298
00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:35,874
Thank you.
299
00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:37,209
Looking forward
to your calendars.
300
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:38,377
Lovely calendar.
301
00:14:42,714 --> 00:14:45,676
( accordion music playing )
302
00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:11,243
Excuse me.
303
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:12,661
Yes?
304
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:15,664
I must have made a mistake.
305
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,374
I thought you were a prisoner.
306
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:19,209
You thought I was a prisoner?
307
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:21,128
I have to apologize.
308
00:15:21,169 --> 00:15:25,132
You have no idea
what a remarkable resemblance.
309
00:15:25,173 --> 00:15:27,301
I mean, you don't
look like him.
310
00:15:27,342 --> 00:15:28,260
He looks like you.
311
00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:30,762
Yes.
312
00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:31,930
Excuse me.
313
00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:33,056
Morning.
314
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:34,516
Good morning.
315
00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:35,726
Apologize.
316
00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:48,614
It is him!
317
00:15:48,655 --> 00:15:50,032
It is them!
318
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:54,953
Now I know why
you look like him.
319
00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:55,954
You are him.
320
00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:56,955
And you...
321
00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:57,956
Don't tell me.
322
00:15:57,998 --> 00:15:58,957
I like to guess.
323
00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:00,125
Schultz, relax.
324
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:02,419
You're attracting attention.
325
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:03,712
That's ex...
326
00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:05,672
( quietly ):
...exactly what I want to do.
327
00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:08,175
If someone is
in a solitary cooler,
328
00:16:08,216 --> 00:16:11,011
one is supposed to stay there.
329
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,804
This is regulation.
330
00:16:12,846 --> 00:16:13,597
Hello, Schultzy.
331
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:14,806
Hello.
332
00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:17,059
Now, don't pull
any tricks on...
333
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:19,227
And you, too?
334
00:16:19,227 --> 00:16:21,730
The sauerbraten's
very good.
335
00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:23,065
Hey, that's good
enough for me.
336
00:16:23,106 --> 00:16:24,274
Forget it.
337
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:27,611
I'm going to call
the police right away.
338
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:28,737
I mean it.
339
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,656
Well, if that's the way
you want it, Schultz,
340
00:16:30,697 --> 00:16:32,699
I guess you're gonna get
a promotion for this.
341
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:33,659
( chuckles )
342
00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:34,660
I might even get a medal.
343
00:16:34,701 --> 00:16:36,995
Yes, I can just see
the ceremonies now.
344
00:16:37,037 --> 00:16:38,538
While they're pinning
the medal on you
345
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:40,082
and generals are
shaking your hand,
346
00:16:40,123 --> 00:16:41,667
there's a telegram
from the Fuhrer.
347
00:16:41,708 --> 00:16:43,251
And everyone
is saying,
348
00:16:43,251 --> 00:16:46,296
"Isn't it a lucky thing
that Sergeant Schultz
349
00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:49,758
was in town on pass in time
to catch the prisoners."
350
00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:51,426
Pass?
351
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:53,929
Didn't we see old Klink
burn the pass?
352
00:16:53,970 --> 00:16:56,098
I'm quite sure Schultz
got another pass.
353
00:16:56,139 --> 00:16:58,433
You did get a pass,
didn't you, Schultz?
354
00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:00,394
No?
355
00:17:00,435 --> 00:17:01,686
Oh, Schultz.
356
00:17:01,728 --> 00:17:02,729
No medal.
357
00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:05,357
Oh, being a prisoner
isn't so bad.
358
00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:07,275
Look at us, Schultzy.
359
00:17:07,275 --> 00:17:10,737
Yeah, thanks
for dropping in, Schultz.
360
00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:12,447
We've got some business
to transact.
361
00:17:14,157 --> 00:17:15,450
What did you find out?
362
00:17:15,450 --> 00:17:16,451
Here are copies
363
00:17:16,451 --> 00:17:18,453
of the building
plan of the bank.
364
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:22,749
What's this building next door?
365
00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:24,209
It's an apartment
building.
366
00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:27,337
According to this, the bank
was built after the apartment.
367
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:28,964
What are you getting
at, Colonel?
368
00:17:29,005 --> 00:17:30,382
You'll notice
this wall here
369
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:33,718
of the apartment building
is built right onto the bank.
370
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,930
And the bank vault is
right up against that wall.
371
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:38,640
But those walls
are made of steel
372
00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:40,016
two or three
inches thick.
373
00:17:40,058 --> 00:17:42,352
We don't have any tool
that could cut through that.
374
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:43,687
When we were in the bank,
375
00:17:43,728 --> 00:17:46,273
did you look into the vault
and notice the back?
376
00:17:46,314 --> 00:17:48,150
Yeah, it was just
an ordinary brick wall.
377
00:17:48,191 --> 00:17:51,987
The wall
of the apartment building.
378
00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:53,405
Who lives in this apartment?
379
00:17:53,446 --> 00:17:54,489
A girl.
380
00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:57,742
Her name is, uh...
Mady Pfeiffer,
381
00:17:57,784 --> 00:17:59,077
and she lives alone.
382
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:02,873
She's not going
to be alone tonight.
383
00:18:02,914 --> 00:18:04,666
( door buzzer sounds )
384
00:18:12,507 --> 00:18:15,886
Oh, at last we meet, at last.
385
00:18:15,927 --> 00:18:17,053
I don't know you.
386
00:18:17,095 --> 00:18:18,638
Of course not;
I'm a secret admirer.
387
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:19,973
Someone who has
worshipped you
388
00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:21,183
for months
from a distance.
389
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:23,852
Months? I've only been here
two weeks from Dusseldorf.
390
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,896
I said from a distance.
391
00:18:28,648 --> 00:18:31,067
I'm Herr Beyler.
392
00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:35,280
Here, I want the flowers
to see true beauty.
393
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:38,199
This is a lovely
apartment, my dear.
394
00:18:38,241 --> 00:18:40,035
Lovely.
395
00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:41,536
What's in there?
396
00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:43,580
That is the bedroom.
397
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:52,339
Herr Beyler, you will
have to behave yourself,
398
00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:54,591
or I must ask you to leave.
399
00:18:54,674 --> 00:18:56,968
My dear,
all I want to do
400
00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:59,930
is just look at you,
just look.
401
00:18:59,971 --> 00:19:02,349
That is all?
402
00:19:02,390 --> 00:19:04,059
No, there is one thing.
403
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:08,104
Something I want more than
anything in the whole world.
404
00:19:08,146 --> 00:19:09,814
What?
405
00:19:09,856 --> 00:19:13,193
A cup of coffee
to calm me down.
406
00:19:13,234 --> 00:19:14,736
My nerves are tingling.
407
00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:16,237
All right.
408
00:19:16,279 --> 00:19:19,532
I, I will make you
some coffee.
409
00:19:19,574 --> 00:19:20,992
Good.
410
00:19:33,254 --> 00:19:35,048
I am warming some coffee.
411
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:36,257
Wonderful, wonderful.
412
00:19:41,262 --> 00:19:44,265
Why don't I get something
on the radio?
413
00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:48,228
( crowd cheering )
414
00:19:50,605 --> 00:19:54,275
( Hitler orating )
415
00:19:54,275 --> 00:19:56,986
It is too loud!
416
00:19:57,028 --> 00:19:59,114
You say
the Fuhrer is too loud?
417
00:19:59,155 --> 00:20:00,740
Is that what you said?
418
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:02,075
Oh, no, no, no.
419
00:20:02,117 --> 00:20:03,284
Of course not.
420
00:20:03,326 --> 00:20:05,120
I would never say that.
421
00:20:10,583 --> 00:20:11,626
What is that?
422
00:20:11,626 --> 00:20:12,794
What is what?
423
00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:14,963
I don't hear
anything, my dear!
424
00:20:15,004 --> 00:20:16,714
A toast to the Fuhrer!
425
00:20:16,756 --> 00:20:20,260
To the Fuhrer!
426
00:20:20,301 --> 00:20:23,972
( Hitler continues orating )
427
00:20:24,013 --> 00:20:25,473
Don't you hear anything?!
428
00:20:25,473 --> 00:20:26,558
Sit down, my dear.
429
00:20:26,599 --> 00:20:27,725
I hear nothing.
430
00:20:27,767 --> 00:20:29,310
Here, a toast to
Hermann Goering.
431
00:20:29,352 --> 00:20:31,396
To Goering.
432
00:20:35,024 --> 00:20:36,317
A toast, my dear!
433
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:38,153
To... Julius Steiner.
434
00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:39,946
Julius Steiner.
435
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:41,573
Who is he?
436
00:20:41,614 --> 00:20:43,867
Himmler's barber.
437
00:20:46,202 --> 00:20:47,370
The speech is over.
438
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:48,872
I like his longer ones.
439
00:20:48,913 --> 00:20:51,291
Maybe he did not have
anything to say.
440
00:20:51,332 --> 00:20:53,334
Never stopped him before.
441
00:20:53,334 --> 00:20:55,211
I'll get some music.
442
00:20:55,253 --> 00:20:58,298
( sprightly accordion musicplaying )
443
00:21:01,634 --> 00:21:03,636
To Max Muller!
444
00:21:03,678 --> 00:21:06,097
Who's Max Muller?
445
00:21:06,139 --> 00:21:09,267
I've never heard of him!
446
00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:12,478
( striking in timewith the music )
447
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:13,771
( music stops )
448
00:21:15,064 --> 00:21:16,149
There is a noise,
449
00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:18,234
and it is coming
from my bedroom.
450
00:21:18,276 --> 00:21:20,987
It's just your
imagination, Mady.
451
00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:23,406
( slurring ):
I am a responsible girl,
452
00:21:23,448 --> 00:21:25,867
and if there is someone
in my bedroom,
453
00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:27,827
I want to know who it is.
454
00:21:34,959 --> 00:21:35,960
How's it going?
455
00:21:36,002 --> 00:21:37,212
Slow.
456
00:21:37,253 --> 00:21:38,213
We got to
make it fast.
457
00:21:38,213 --> 00:21:39,339
We've got to
get in there
458
00:21:39,380 --> 00:21:40,924
before that bank
opens in the morning
459
00:21:40,965 --> 00:21:42,800
and get that money,
then get it to Strasser
460
00:21:42,842 --> 00:21:44,385
to get that map and
get back to camp
461
00:21:44,385 --> 00:21:46,054
before our 24 hours
in solitary are up.
462
00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:47,472
What about the fraulein?
463
00:21:47,513 --> 00:21:49,390
Don't worry about
her; she's out.
464
00:21:49,390 --> 00:21:51,226
Now, come on, get
going, and fast.
465
00:21:59,859 --> 00:22:02,737
Wait, why don't we take
some extra money for expenses?
466
00:22:02,737 --> 00:22:05,073
No, just 100,000 marks,
and make it fast.
467
00:22:05,073 --> 00:22:06,783
Okay.
468
00:22:06,824 --> 00:22:08,534
Wait a minute.
469
00:22:08,576 --> 00:22:10,244
Take an extra 1,000 marks.
470
00:22:10,286 --> 00:22:11,955
Okay.
471
00:22:16,209 --> 00:22:18,419
All right, be careful.
472
00:22:18,461 --> 00:22:20,463
All right, let's
get this wall up.
473
00:22:21,172 --> 00:22:21,965
Okay, hold it, hold it.
474
00:22:42,443 --> 00:22:43,277
( sotto voce ):
Thank you.
475
00:22:43,403 --> 00:22:44,570
All right, look,
476
00:22:44,612 --> 00:22:47,240
I'm going to go get the map
from Strasser.
477
00:22:47,281 --> 00:22:49,617
I'll meet you back in solitary
at camp.
478
00:22:49,617 --> 00:22:51,411
Okay?
479
00:23:24,068 --> 00:23:25,319
SCHULTZ:
They are all here!
480
00:23:25,361 --> 00:23:28,156
Where did you
expect them to be?
481
00:23:28,156 --> 00:23:29,824
No one ever escapes
482
00:23:29,866 --> 00:23:30,825
from Commandant Klink.
483
00:23:30,867 --> 00:23:31,868
We wouldn't think
484
00:23:31,909 --> 00:23:33,536
of trying to match wits
with you, Commandant.
485
00:23:33,578 --> 00:23:35,371
The contest
would be too unequal.
486
00:23:35,413 --> 00:23:36,622
You see?
487
00:23:36,664 --> 00:23:38,416
You have learned
something already.
488
00:23:38,458 --> 00:23:39,459
But I must tell you this.
489
00:23:39,500 --> 00:23:40,501
I certainly wouldn't
490
00:23:40,501 --> 00:23:41,711
recommend this place
to my friends.
491
00:23:41,752 --> 00:23:42,712
The service is terrible.
492
00:23:42,753 --> 00:23:43,754
Don't worry.
493
00:23:43,796 --> 00:23:46,674
We can get all the
customers we want.
494
00:23:50,178 --> 00:23:54,182
You missed great excitement
in town.
495
00:23:54,182 --> 00:23:55,433
What happened?
496
00:23:55,475 --> 00:23:57,185
Big bank robbery.
497
00:23:57,185 --> 00:23:58,519
( whistles )
No.
498
00:23:58,561 --> 00:24:00,521
How low will
some people sink?
499
00:24:00,521 --> 00:24:02,440
It's against the
law, isn't it?
500
00:24:02,523 --> 00:24:03,816
Do they know who did it?
501
00:24:03,858 --> 00:24:05,234
They caught the man,
502
00:24:05,276 --> 00:24:08,196
but imagine the nerve
of the bank robber.
503
00:24:08,196 --> 00:24:11,491
This morning,
he goes back to the bank
504
00:24:11,532 --> 00:24:15,703
and he wanted to deposit
the stolen 100,000 mark
505
00:24:15,745 --> 00:24:17,455
to his own account.
506
00:24:17,497 --> 00:24:19,707
I never heard
of such gall.
507
00:24:19,749 --> 00:24:22,919
Did they get all the
money back, Schultzy?
508
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:26,506
All but 1,000 mark.
509
00:24:26,547 --> 00:24:30,301
Well, whoever's got it,
I hope she uses it to good use.
510
00:24:32,261 --> 00:24:35,223
"She"?
511
00:24:35,223 --> 00:24:37,391
Isn't it always
a woman?
512
00:24:40,353 --> 00:24:43,397
Ja...
513
00:24:43,397 --> 00:24:44,982
Ja.
514
00:24:45,024 --> 00:24:47,568
Hey! Colonel Hogan!
515
00:24:47,568 --> 00:24:49,445
Colonel Hogan, open up!
516
00:24:49,487 --> 00:24:50,655
Colonel Hogan!
517
00:24:50,705 --> 00:24:55,255
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