All language subtitles for Guardians of the Galaxy s01e18 Asgard War Part 1 Lightnin Strikes.eng

[Quill]
You're a funny dude, Dad.

I just about died laughing
when I heard you want me

to help you steal
the Cosmic Seed.

For the second time.

I will not have
this outrageous slander

in these chambers, Peter.
Guards!

[grunting]

This is an unmitigated act
of war with Asgard!

There will only be peace
when we have wiped Spartax

from the face of the galaxy!

So, J'Son of Spartax

plundered the Cosmic Seed
from Asgard?

[Fandral] Yet somehow
he hid the deed

from your all-seeing eyes,
Heimdall.

The thief's cunning
is of little concern, Fandral.

What matters is our retaliation.

Agreed, Hogun. It shall
be swift and merciless.

Perfect.
Did you say something, Loki?

Oh, just that it's, um,
perfectly appalling

how the Spartax king has
insulted our very honor.

For that, the wrath of Asgard
shall descend upon his world.

[Heimdall and Fandral]
For Asgard!

Aye, brother Thor,
then let only the mightiest

of Asgard's warriors carry out
this mission of justice.

Our bold-hearted sister Angela,

grim Hogun,

dashing Fandral, and of course,

Heimdall, the very eyes
and ears of Asgard.

Bringing our trusted Sentry
into battle

makes strategic sense.

But who will protect the realm?

Fear not, brother.

I will hold down Asgard
in your absence.

Then it is decided.

Today, Spartax falls.

As will you, dear brother.

If all goes according to plan.

[Rocket] Congrats, dummy.

You just started the biggest war
in galactic history.

And I'm gonna stop it.

[groaning]

Yeah, good luck
with that, Quill.

[groaning]

Come on. Ten more minutes, Ma.

[snickering]
Now stick it up his nose.

[both laughing]

I am Groot.

Cease this foolishness, Rocket.

A punch to the stomach
is a much more

effective means
of awakening Quill.

[J'Son] Attention, brave warriors
and citizens of Spartax.

[gasps] Wha... What?

Or a speech from his dad,

which is worse than a punch
to the stomach.

[J'Son] Decades ago,
Asgard accused your king

of stealing their Cosmic Seed,

bringing our realms
to the brink of war.

I refuted that charge
and have been striving

for peace ever since.
[crowd murmuring]

But the Asgardians
clearly want war

and will cling to any excuse,

no matter how feeble,
to wage it.

So, let them come!

And we will fight until every
last Asgardian has fallen!

Every time he opens his mouth,
nothing but lies pour out.

What kind of bottom-feeding
scum-sucker does that?

[sighs]
Looked in the mirror lately?

[Victoria] Guard, open the cell.

Ah, Victoria.
Sis! You got my message.

We so need...
[groaning] [grunting]

How could you accuse
our father of being a thief

in front
of the Galactic Council?

What did you think would happen?
[groaning]

What he always thinks'll happen,

everybody cheerin' his name.

Girls swooning at his feet.

And a big dance number
at the end.

And yet that has never happened.

[strained voice]
Just hear me out.

[choking, coughing]

I've got proof that Thor's
brother stole the Cosmic Seed.

But I thought J'Son
was to blame.

Okay, technically
he did steal it first,

but then Loki
snatched it from him,

which makes my dad
totally innocent.

Or at least not as guilty.
Sort of.

Now I understand.

Actually, I do not.
But that story annoys me

and I have no desire to hear it again.
[groans]

This "proof," show it to me.

Okay, I don't have it
right this second,

but I found a recording
on Dad's ship.

The one we let fly off to who-knows-where
with your ex-girlfriends?

As it happens,
I made a recording

of the recording on my helmet.

But it was confiscated before
I could play it for the Council.

If Father knows the truth
and has the evidence,

then why not use it
to prevent war?

I am Groot.

He's right.
Sounds like your pops

wants to duke it out
with Asgard.

[thunder cracking]

Victoria, please. Let us out.

If I'm wrong, then we're
the least of your problems.

But if I'm right,
you'll be saving innocent lives.

I don't have time for nonsense, Peter.
[grunting]

Asgard is attacking

and I need to defend my home.

My people!

Okay, good talk.
Let's do it again soon.

Oh, wait, we can't
'cause we're doomed.

Not as long as my baby sis
believes in me.

A little something she tucked

in my pocket on her way out.

[mechanical beeping] Huh?

[groans]

[both grunting]

[creaking]

Who wants presents? I'm buyin'!

This is not a shopping spree.

We grab our gear,
get to the Milano,

and bring the evidence
to Victoria.

[groans] Do you ever get tired

of suckin' the joy out of life?

[Victoria] The enemy approaches.

Hold fire until my command.

[thunder rumbling]

[Victoria] Is this some
bizarre Asgardian joke?

A single open ship
and a handful of warriors

to take on
an entire Spartax armada?

Destroyer Armor.

Attack!

All Spartax forces,
regroup and return fire!

For Asgard!

[all shouting]

[grunting]

[screaming] [grunts]

Ha-ha! [Grunts]

[groans, gasps]

[shouting] [screaming]

Let's hope the Milano's still
in the hangar where we left it.

Going somewhere, son?

You can't stop us, old man.

[gun charging]

You disappoint me.

Let me show you
the true power of Spartax.

[grunts] [all groaning]

[all coughing]

Nice one, Dad.

How come you never taught me
that trick?

There's a lot
I never taught you.

[groaning]

You guys take the Mechs while
I deal with dear old Dad.

[chuckles] I was afraid
you'd never ask. Whoa!

Much as I'm lovin'
this father-son time,

how 'bout we do something else?

Like stop the Asgardians
from attacking your people?

I didn't start this war,
that was your doing.

But I will finish it.

[both groaning]

[groans]

[sighs]

Well, that was fun.

[grunts] [groans]

Get to the Milano. I got this.
[groans]

You really do have much to learn
about mastering the elements.

Yeah? Well, Mom always said
I was a quick study.

But hey, I wouldn't expect you
to know that.

[groans]

Not after bailing
on your wife and kid,

never once looking back!

Flying across the galaxy
to fight a war

you started in the first place!

[groaning, gasps]

[groaning]

You talk too much, son.

Just like your mother. [Gasps]

[screaming, groans]

Beats me what
she ever saw in you.

[Loki] Is anything
sweeter than finally

claiming what
is rightfully yours?

With all due respect, Lo...
[clears throat]

My King, may I ask

what happens when Thor returns?

Sadly, my brother
won't be coming back.

Ever.

But fear not,

for a glorious
new era is upon us.

[grunts]

The Son of Odin shall revel
in glorious victory this day.

As shall his daughter! [Grunts]

[gasps]

[grunts]

As shall his loyal warriors!

[gasps]

[grunting]

[groans]

[grunting]

[shouts]

[grunting] [groans]

I expected more
from the Commander

of the Spartax Royal Guard.

Then "more" you shall receive.

[both grunting]

[laughing] Be sure to inform me

when you are ready to begin.

[grunts]

You there, halt!

Listen to me.
You can either fight us,

or fight to defend
your home world.

In my opinion, the latter
is more honorable.

I am Groot. [Screaming]

[chuckles]

[groans] Show off.

[groaning]

[both grunting, groaning]

[coughing]

Enough of this, old man.

Your kingdom's suffering
for no good reason.

'Cause I've got proof
that Loki took the Cosmic Seed.

[J'Son] Are you certain of that?

[beeping]

You deleted it?

How could I delete something that
never existed in the first place?

[groans]

[grunts]

[groans]

[panting]

After all these years
of trying to keep the peace,

you actually want this war? Why?

Because this time
I know I can win.

What do you mean "this time"?

[groans]

[groans]

This is what we do, Peter.

We're thieves, you and I.

We take things,
by any means necessary.

The Cosmic Seed, Asgard...

How about my life?

You took that when you hired
a space pirate to kidnap me.

To raise you and shape you
into a worthy heir.

Forget it. I am not gonna
be part of your lies!

[screaming]

Peter!

You called, Dad?

Just out of curiosity, Quill,

when you let go of that ledge...

What was your plan?

After falling?
Didn't really have one.

Good thing we were
trackin' the signal

from your helmet. Otherwise...

I am Groot.

Yeah, thanks. I owe you one.

You sound displeased.

Are you not grateful
to be alive?

Totally. It's just that
without the recording of Loki,

we don't have a way
to stop this war.

[Rocket] So why don't we just
cut our losses and leave?

Let Spartax and Asgard
slug it out.

Because I'm not like my dad.

I don't run out on family.

[grunting] [groaning]

Ah, this "game"
has grown tiresome.

[grunts]

Asgardian coward!

A true warrior
never runs from battle!

Bam! Big bro to the rescue.

[Gamora] Great. Now
who's gonna rescue us?

The Destroyer Armor?
That's awesome!

[all groaning]

I am the one true Destroyer!

And I do not believe
that word "awesome"

means what you think it does.

Well, think again, D-Man.

The Armor records everything
it "sees," remember?

And we know we can use my helmet
to access its memory.

I am Groot.

So you think the Destroyer
recorded Loki

stealing the Cosmic Seed
back from your pops.

All we gotta do is retrieve
the recording. Easy.

Groot, let's take a little ride.

[Quill] Good luck, guys.

Oh, and try to bring
my helmet back

in one piece, Rocket. Whoo-hoo!

[grunting]

Establishing uplink... now.

[Rocket gagging]

Your helmet smells like
human morning breath, Quill.

How come I gotta
access the info?

I'm gonna go and try
to talk some sense into Thor.

Right. I mean,
what could go wrong there?

[groans]

Thor, you gotta
call off the attack.

Intruder. Yield, Heimdall.

This whole war's a set-up
and I've got proof.

Show it to me.

Okay, I don't have it
like, right this second,

but I will get it. Soon.

I believe it's time to commence

the next phase of my plan.

Uh, this can't be good.

Hey! Where do you think
you're going, tin can?

[Thor] The Destroyer. There
must be a malfunction.

Good to know. I'd hate to think
that turning your own weapon

on your own ship
was part of the plan.

I got this!

Your weapon
is clearly inadequate.

Wait! My buddy's on that armor.

[grunts] [screaming]

C'mon, load faster!

[gasps] Ahh!

That small hairy creature,
he is one of yours.

You turned the Armor against us.

No. No, not true.

The Guardians are
the enemies of Asgard

and must be destroyed.
[groaning]

No, you got it all wrong!

[grunting] [groaning]

[both grunting]

[grunting] Guessing this
isn't a social call.

[grunts]

I do not know what
they teach you on Asgard,

but uninvited guests
are never welcome!

Okay, think about it. If I
could control that hunka junk,

why would I want it to open fire

when I'm standing
right next to you?

Loki's the mastermind.

He's giving the orders.
I've seen it before!

Aye, it does seem like something

the Prince of Lies would do.

And something a Spartaxian would do.
[groans]

Wait, wait, wait! I've
got an idea how to prove

I'm telling the truth.
Just hear me out.

No. No, no! [Shouting]

[both groaning]

Quill! Noo!

[Fandral and Angela] Thor!

[J'Son] Brave warriors of
Spartax, the enemy is faltering.

Seize this moment
and victory shall be ours!

Ho, ho. Now is that
really necessary, J'Son?

I warn you, Loki.

Blink wrong and you will
cease to exist.

First of all, "old friend,"

it's All-Father Loki, ruler of
Asgard and the Nine Realms.

And you need not worry,

for I come seeking
an immediate ceasefire.

Conflict and bloodshed
will destroy both our kingdoms.

Peace is the only solution.
[crowd murmuring]

It is what my late brother Thor
would have wanted.

And if anyone is responsible
for this terrible war

between Asgard and Spartax

and the loss of my only son,

it is the so-called
Guardians of the Galaxy.

What did we do?

Nothin'. That's what.

And I got the goods to prove it.

See, I accessed
the Destroyer's archives

for a little blast
from your past.

Sure, we all know
J'Son of Spartax

stole the Cosmic Seed
from Asgard.

But guess who stole it back?

Yeah, that's right, Prince of Lies.
Busted. [Crowd yelling]

Yes. Bravo.

Well played.

But who cares?

I specifically orchestrated
a war to eliminate

my brother and take over Asgard.

Which I have done, so I hereby

pardon myself
for all wrongdoings.

[Thor] Pity you have
no authority to do so.

[Drax] Quill, you are not dead?
[crowd cheering]

So, we took a dive
to make you admit the truth.

My idea.

I would never conceive
of such a devious plan.

But I cannot argue
with the results.

What can I say? It's a gift.

Take him into custody!

This is outrageous!

Not only does Asgard owe us
an apology for this deception,

but it must pay for the damage
caused to our kingdom!

[crowd murmuring]
Not so fast there, Daddy-O.

After all these years of tryin'
to keep the peace,

you actually want this war?

Why? Because this time
I know I can win.

[groans] Do not test me, Father.

I will do what I have to.

I understand, my dear.

And so must I.

[beeps]

[crowd murmuring]

[Thanos] J'Son of Spartax.

Thanos? But how? Why?

I told you I knew I could win.

You summon Thanos.

Then Thanos will end all.

[laughing]

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