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1
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Cracklin' Rosie by Neil Diamond
2
00:00:05,101 --> 00:00:07,574
I can't hold it in.
I really need to go, Dad.
3
00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,135
- I'll pull over.
- No, I don't want to go in the bushes.
4
00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:12,264
We're miles away from a pub,
so you're going to have to.
5
00:00:12,290 --> 00:00:14,859
- Please, Dad!
- All right, try and take your mind off it.
6
00:00:14,885 --> 00:00:16,546
- Ask me a question.
- Like what?
7
00:00:16,652 --> 00:00:18,578
- Anything you want.
- Okay.
8
00:00:18,659 --> 00:00:20,151
How do you sleep at night?
9
00:00:21,170 --> 00:00:22,626
What is that supposed to mean?
10
00:00:23,089 --> 00:00:26,035
Mark Wilson's dad asked me.
He said you rip people off,
11
00:00:26,191 --> 00:00:29,002
selling them expensive windows
and getting them in debt.
12
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:30,775
Well, the next time you see him,
13
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,655
tell him your old dad sleeps just fine
14
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:34,663
and he can go fuck himself,
the jealous prick.
15
00:00:34,804 --> 00:00:36,881
Really? Excellent.
16
00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:38,768
Actually, don't say that, all right?
17
00:00:38,876 --> 00:00:41,581
Is it true, though?
Do you get people in debt?
18
00:00:41,697 --> 00:00:44,254
Look, Rob, I sell windows,
19
00:00:44,505 --> 00:00:46,566
and a lot of fucking windows,
I might add,
20
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,366
to people all over our town.
21
00:00:48,544 --> 00:00:51,183
I don't put a gun to their head.
They want to buy from me.
22
00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:55,095
Can they always afford it?
Probably not, but as far as I know
23
00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,935
it's not illegal to sell things to
people just cos they're too stupid
24
00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,327
to know if they can afford them.
25
00:00:59,448 --> 00:01:02,728
I think that is illegal.
I saw it on World in Action.
26
00:01:03,927 --> 00:01:05,366
- Really?
- Yeah.
27
00:01:05,764 --> 00:01:07,597
Dad, I've got to go now!
28
00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:08,902
All right, let me pull over.
29
00:01:09,353 --> 00:01:11,485
What's here? Why are you stopping here?
30
00:01:13,303 --> 00:01:15,478
- Just nip in that hedge.
- But it's a poo.
31
00:01:15,696 --> 00:01:17,652
No-one's coming, Rob,
they're not going to see you.
32
00:01:17,804 --> 00:01:19,204
What about wiping my bum?
33
00:01:20,901 --> 00:01:22,023
Here you go.
34
00:01:25,250 --> 00:01:26,885
Dad, what are these?
35
00:01:27,533 --> 00:01:28,693
Better than Andrex.
36
00:01:32,347 --> 00:01:34,747
♪ Set the world right ♪
37
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♪ Find us a dream that don't
ask no questions... ♪
38
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Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
39
00:01:42,265 --> 00:01:45,014
I'm arriving at base now, Gremlin,
40
00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:47,535
but if you could keep an
eye on that traffic for me
41
00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:49,135
it'd be much appreciated. Over.
42
00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,975
There's a Kojak with a
Kodak on the A13 flyover.
43
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,055
Thanks, Gremlin. I've got some
earwiggers on the horizon
44
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:56,208
so I'm out for now, good buddy.
45
00:01:56,234 --> 00:01:57,619
Roger-rodge. 10-10.
46
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,342
Here he is. Smokey and the Bum Bandit.
47
00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:03,139
Morning, Rubber Ducky.
48
00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:04,380
Yep, very good.
49
00:02:04,406 --> 00:02:07,461
Okay, let's do this properly,
who or what is a Gremlin?
50
00:02:07,810 --> 00:02:09,215
He's a mate.
51
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:10,673
And his name's actually Gremlin?
52
00:02:10,699 --> 00:02:13,864
No, that's his handle.
It's like a CB nickname.
53
00:02:14,231 --> 00:02:15,994
And your handle is...?
54
00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:19,575
Nice try, but save your breath,
I'm not embarrassed about this.
55
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,880
Good for you. And your handle is...?
56
00:02:23,891 --> 00:02:25,091
Widow Maker.
57
00:02:27,344 --> 00:02:28,735
That is superb.
58
00:02:29,776 --> 00:02:32,170
- So is this a new CB radio?
- Obviously.
59
00:02:32,479 --> 00:02:36,373
Treated myself to a rig for the car,
Tri-Star, dual bandwidth,
60
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:40,615
48 channels, complete with
mag-mounted DV27 antennae.
61
00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:42,632
Basically it's a monster.
62
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,695
You said that like we're
supposed to give a shit.
63
00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:47,600
Yeah, well, you should.
Pretty soon you'll be wondering
64
00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,551
how you ever lived without
one of these babies.
65
00:02:49,723 --> 00:02:51,895
Other than for pretending
you're in the Dukes of Hazzard
66
00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:53,714
I'm struggling to think
of a single use for it.
67
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:56,235
Pre-ordering a prossie to murder
at the next truck stop?
68
00:02:56,261 --> 00:02:57,464
Two uses.
69
00:02:57,670 --> 00:02:59,911
Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, Luddites.
70
00:02:59,937 --> 00:03:02,255
Aw, don't be like that, Widow Maker!
71
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:03,323
Come on!
72
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:04,814
He was right about one thing,
73
00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:06,801
we couldn't live without
one of those babies.
74
00:03:06,827 --> 00:03:09,576
So we got a cheap rig, secretly
installed it in Walshy's office
75
00:03:09,602 --> 00:03:10,792
and roped in Carol,
76
00:03:10,818 --> 00:03:13,273
who as well as being
Britain's lousiest receptionist
77
00:03:13,299 --> 00:03:15,166
had a genuine talent for mimicry.
78
00:03:15,348 --> 00:03:17,683
Breaker breakers, this is the Sexy Elf.
79
00:03:17,832 --> 00:03:18,967
Any takers?
80
00:03:18,993 --> 00:03:20,137
Is that all right?
81
00:03:20,163 --> 00:03:23,574
Now, your average CB enthusiast
is male, lives with his mum and
82
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,621
is about as likely to drive a truck
as he is to have lost his cherry.
83
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:28,255
As soon as the Elf hit the airwaves,
84
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,716
they were practically rutting
one another for her attention.
85
00:03:30,742 --> 00:03:33,267
- 10-2, Sexy Elf, this is Wheelnut
reading you wall-to-wall.
86
00:03:33,292 --> 00:03:34,132
- Wheelnut!
87
00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:35,902
Where've you been all my life, Sexy Elf?
88
00:03:35,928 --> 00:03:37,890
This is The Beastmaster
sending out 3s and 8s.
89
00:03:37,916 --> 00:03:39,748
Fancy an eyeball, Elf?
90
00:03:39,774 --> 00:03:41,629
Hey, Elf, ignore these prairie dogs,
91
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:43,416
let's knock it up 10 for a one-to-one.
92
00:03:43,442 --> 00:03:45,000
I've got no trousers on.
93
00:03:45,026 --> 00:03:46,714
Eventually she hooked the big one.
94
00:03:47,715 --> 00:03:50,773
Afternoon, Elf, this is the Widow Maker.
What's your 10-20?
95
00:03:51,396 --> 00:03:53,491
10-20... Location.
96
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:58,735
Hi, Widow Maker. I'm approaching
Chelmsford town centre, on a bus.
97
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,695
- You're on a bus?
- Fuck me.
98
00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,240
It's called improvising.
99
00:04:03,558 --> 00:04:04,988
I'm driving a bus.
100
00:04:05,387 --> 00:04:08,131
A bus driver. You sound
like my kind of sexy elf.
101
00:04:08,326 --> 00:04:10,695
And you sound dangerous, Widow Maker.
102
00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:11,946
Really?
103
00:04:11,972 --> 00:04:14,357
As in mysterious. Not like a rapist.
104
00:04:15,274 --> 00:04:17,575
After an hour of some
fairly horrific flirting,
105
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:20,655
the Widow Maker finally worked up
the bottle to ask the Elf on a date.
106
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,574
Tri-Star, 48 channels. Dual bandwidth.
107
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,255
Ooh! Impressive kit.
108
00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:27,668
I'd love to see it.
109
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,215
'And after that maybe I'll
show you my CB radio too.'
110
00:04:31,619 --> 00:04:33,869
I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
111
00:04:34,085 --> 00:04:35,815
I'm up for an eyeball if you are?
112
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:37,815
Eyeball? Eyeball...
113
00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:40,415
That's a meet-up. Jackpot.
114
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,635
That's a relief. I thought I was
going to have to flash my chuff.
115
00:04:43,661 --> 00:04:46,511
Yeah, why not, Widow Maker?
116
00:04:46,861 --> 00:04:50,028
They fixed up to meet later that
night at Thorndon Country Park.
117
00:04:50,054 --> 00:04:51,313
This is The Widow Maker.
118
00:04:51,339 --> 00:04:55,219
I'm 10-8 at the 10-20. I think
I can see you, Sexy Elf.
119
00:05:03,796 --> 00:05:06,011
Widow Maker, meet the Sexy Elf.
120
00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:07,940
Fancy seeing you here, good buddy.
121
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:10,855
Now we'd lit the fuse,
122
00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:13,164
it was time to stand back
and watch the fireworks.
123
00:05:13,190 --> 00:05:15,080
You cunts!
124
00:05:15,968 --> 00:05:19,183
Only Fitzpatrick didn't explode,
it was far worse than that.
125
00:05:28,604 --> 00:05:30,101
Oh, God!
126
00:05:30,469 --> 00:05:31,644
Look at me.
127
00:05:31,677 --> 00:05:34,410
It turns out that Fitzpatrick's
home life was a living hell.
128
00:05:34,951 --> 00:05:37,726
He'd married his childhood
sweetheart, Maureen, when he was 18
129
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,071
but over the years
she'd put on a tonne of weight
130
00:05:40,097 --> 00:05:41,872
due to an underactive thyroid gland.
131
00:05:41,926 --> 00:05:44,855
This, combined with the realisation
that she had to live with
132
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,535
Fitzpatrick for the rest of her
miserable life had made her
133
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,655
clinically depressed and, lately,
even physically abusive.
134
00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:54,695
Why don't you just do everyone
a big favour, yeah, and fuck off?!
135
00:05:54,898 --> 00:05:56,770
Go on, fuck off!
136
00:05:56,796 --> 00:05:59,540
Go on, fuck off down to the
shed, you little sad bastard.
137
00:05:59,565 --> 00:06:00,454
Maureen!
138
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,015
- The neighbours!
- Your jumper's shit!
139
00:06:06,681 --> 00:06:09,096
The closest thing he had
to a social life was us
140
00:06:09,122 --> 00:06:11,572
and the complete tools
he befriended on CB radio.
141
00:06:11,691 --> 00:06:14,986
Breaker breaker,
this is the Widow Maker.
142
00:06:15,554 --> 00:06:18,287
I can't leave her. I'm all she's got.
143
00:06:19,124 --> 00:06:20,538
Man, that's rough.
144
00:06:22,554 --> 00:06:24,576
I feel terrible now, Brian.
145
00:06:25,291 --> 00:06:27,792
Can I give you a hand job
at least, to say sorry?
146
00:06:27,818 --> 00:06:29,249
Jesus, Carol.
147
00:06:29,275 --> 00:06:30,370
No, you're all right.
148
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:33,775
Now it was awkward and weird.
To be perfectly honest with you,
149
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,499
I'd actually forgotten he was married.
150
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:37,671
And not solely because
he'd barely uttered a
151
00:06:37,696 --> 00:06:39,690
word about Thyroid in
the year I'd known him.
152
00:06:40,702 --> 00:06:42,495
It was more down to
the fact that whenever
153
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,717
I laid on treats for the team, he
went at it like a man possessed.
154
00:06:45,743 --> 00:06:49,104
Oh, yeah! Oh, Mummy.
155
00:06:49,130 --> 00:06:51,298
Frankly it was off-putting
for the rest of us
156
00:06:51,324 --> 00:06:52,608
That's top quality.
157
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,675
Oh, I'm going to sell even more
fucking windows next week.
158
00:06:58,037 --> 00:07:00,215
Anyway, after the CB awkwardness,
159
00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:02,613
I had to placate Fitzpatrick
in the only way I knew how.
160
00:07:02,995 --> 00:07:05,655
Only this time he was exiled
to conduct his nasty business
161
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:06,903
behind closed doors.
162
00:07:06,929 --> 00:07:09,141
In this instance, Walshy's office door.
163
00:07:09,542 --> 00:07:10,757
That's it.
164
00:07:10,783 --> 00:07:13,641
It still sounded like someone was
mating a gorilla upstairs,
165
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:17,424
but that was a vast improvement on
actually seeing his ratty little sex face.
166
00:07:17,659 --> 00:07:21,674
Yeah, oh, woman.
Big Brian needs woman. Oh, yeah!
167
00:07:22,026 --> 00:07:25,095
Unfortunately this venue change
for Fitzpatrick's depravity
168
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:26,360
didn't go unnoticed.
169
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,215
Vincent, you cunt!
170
00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,106
- You're not going to...
- Get up here!
171
00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,800
Just excuse me one minute.
172
00:07:38,012 --> 00:07:40,643
You disgusting pig, Vincent!
173
00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:42,399
I've got a meeting in 20 minutes.
174
00:07:42,425 --> 00:07:46,935
I've got a bum stain on my desk and
a rubber Johnny in my fucking bin!
175
00:07:46,961 --> 00:07:49,454
Much like the derriere that
left its mark on Walshy's desk,
176
00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:52,449
I didn't mind taking a pounding for
the sake of Fitzpatrick's morale.
177
00:07:52,475 --> 00:07:55,148
Whose bum is this, for Christ's sake?
178
00:07:55,907 --> 00:07:59,202
Morning, homo sapiens.
Emphasis on the homo.
179
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:00,578
So unnecessary.
180
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:04,363
Pretty soon Fitzpatrick was back
to his cocky, old unpleasant self.
181
00:08:04,427 --> 00:08:06,442
Now that's what you call man management.
182
00:08:07,012 --> 00:08:09,815
And seeing as I'd already taken
a bollocking for the misuse
183
00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:12,483
of Walshy's office, I figured
I might as well commit the crime.
184
00:08:14,303 --> 00:08:15,823
Come here, you.
185
00:08:22,658 --> 00:08:24,655
I do hope you're going
to brush your teeth
186
00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,600
before you teach my second born.
187
00:08:26,908 --> 00:08:29,655
You're unbelievable.
Do you talk like that to Sam?
188
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,375
Okay, let's get one thing straight.
You don't mention her name.
189
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:35,220
What, so you can make jokes about me
teaching Robbie, but she's off limits?
190
00:08:35,246 --> 00:08:37,691
It's only been 20 seconds
since my dick was inside you.
191
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:40,206
It's too soon. Don't make
a big fucking deal about it.
192
00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:43,054
Oh, so when is it acceptable
to mention her, then?
193
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,614
I need some guidelines.
194
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:46,495
Half an hour after a shag?
195
00:08:46,637 --> 00:08:48,462
Ten minutes after a blowie?
196
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:50,376
Five for fingering?
197
00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:53,760
Okay. I'm sorry for being touchy.
198
00:08:54,924 --> 00:08:58,326
Just... don't mention fingering.
You know it turns me on.
199
00:09:00,892 --> 00:09:03,255
No, we can't, I'm late enough.
200
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:06,584
I've still got to prepare
the classroom, and floss my teeth.
201
00:09:08,723 --> 00:09:10,938
Oh. Hello, Miss Lyndsey.
202
00:09:10,964 --> 00:09:12,215
Oh, hi, Mrs Swan.
203
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:13,815
Shouldn't you be somewhere else?
204
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:17,530
Sports day training this afternoon,
so I get a long lunch.
205
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:19,975
Having said that, I'd better dash.
206
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,186
Bye.
207
00:09:25,339 --> 00:09:27,634
Hello, gorgeous. What a lovely surprise.
208
00:09:27,660 --> 00:09:30,694
I want a word with you. Upstairs. Now.
209
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:31,899
Yeah?
210
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,455
What's she doing here?
211
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,681
Getting her hair cut. What do you think?
212
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,642
She wanted to speak to
someone about windows.
213
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:44,879
On her lunch break?
214
00:09:44,904 --> 00:09:47,455
It certainly beats
dragging the whole class
215
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:48,746
down here during lesson time.
216
00:09:49,060 --> 00:09:50,875
Don't get fucking smart
with me, Vincent.
217
00:09:50,901 --> 00:09:54,095
I've already had Boring Anne from
next door take great fucking pleasure
218
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,613
in telling me how she saw you two
driving through town together.
219
00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:59,859
And now this. You'd better not be
screwing our son's schoolteacher.
220
00:09:59,885 --> 00:10:02,935
Jesus, Sam, calm down. I didn't
even know you were being serious.
221
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,030
Of course I'm not fucking
Robbie's teacher.
222
00:10:05,056 --> 00:10:06,734
If I find out you're lying to me...
223
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,015
I'm not lying to you, baby.
224
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,807
Look, I gave her a lift home
from the musical. One time.
225
00:10:11,008 --> 00:10:13,655
She started telling me about how
her mum wanted a new conservatory,
226
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,200
I said pop in. That was it.
I was chasing a lead.
227
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,095
Well, just fucking think about
how it looks before you start
228
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:24,095
gallivanting around town with
our son's pretty, young teacher.
229
00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:25,778
Miss Lyndsey, pretty?
230
00:10:26,319 --> 00:10:27,649
I hadn't noticed.
231
00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:29,495
You're such an arsehole.
232
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:30,603
Come here.
233
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:33,440
One sec.
234
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,685
Yeah.
235
00:10:35,711 --> 00:10:37,535
Vince, some bird's on the line.
236
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:40,053
Says she's the editor of the local
paper. She wants to talk to you.
237
00:10:40,079 --> 00:10:41,507
You'd better stick her through.
238
00:10:42,207 --> 00:10:43,641
Vincent Swan speaking.
239
00:10:43,667 --> 00:10:45,095
Hello, Mr Swan?
240
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,235
Please, call me Vincent.
241
00:10:46,310 --> 00:10:48,655
Now guess which handsome
silver-tongued devil
242
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:51,402
has just been shortlisted for
a prestigious business award?
243
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,095
That's the editor of the
Essex Chronicle on the phone
244
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:55,129
giving me the good news.
245
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:58,218
In their infinite wisdom, her
readers have nominated yours truly
246
00:10:58,244 --> 00:11:00,001
as their Entrepreneur of the Year.
247
00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:03,922
I've always taken great pride in my
rapport with my clients but this...
248
00:11:04,738 --> 00:11:06,095
Well, it's an honour.
249
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,415
I think you should try and
attend the awards ceremony
250
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,535
later this month.
Seats are £100 a head...
251
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:12,895
Well, I think we'll take
a whole table, then, shall we?
252
00:11:13,983 --> 00:11:16,457
I wanted the whole team there
to witness my finest hour.
253
00:11:16,483 --> 00:11:18,636
I even invited
Fitzpatrick's miserable wife.
254
00:11:18,662 --> 00:11:21,102
And bring Thyroid.
She could do with a night out.
255
00:11:22,562 --> 00:11:25,122
- Do you mean Maureen?
- Oh, yeah, sorry, Maureen.
256
00:11:26,719 --> 00:11:29,934
This palatial abode is the house
that Vincent Swan paid for.
257
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:31,693
Unfortunately, it belongs to Walshy.
258
00:11:31,847 --> 00:11:34,901
Ironically the more money
I make for him, the less time
259
00:11:34,927 --> 00:11:36,514
he spends doing any actual work.
260
00:11:36,768 --> 00:11:38,217
Walshy, my old mucker.
261
00:11:38,557 --> 00:11:40,732
This can't be good fucking news.
262
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,182
Tony was his usual bountiful self.
263
00:11:43,208 --> 00:11:45,735
- Bollocks.
- The publicity alone will be worth it.
264
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,935
Do me a favour, the publicity's free.
265
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,352
You've already delivered me that.
266
00:11:49,378 --> 00:11:53,273
What you're asking is will I shell
out 800 quid on a steak dinner
267
00:11:53,299 --> 00:11:55,810
to watch you being an
unbearably smug wanker?
268
00:11:55,869 --> 00:11:57,935
Errr... No.
269
00:11:57,961 --> 00:11:59,168
Well, if that's your attitude
270
00:11:59,194 --> 00:12:01,834
I'll pay for a table myself,
you tight prick.
271
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,055
Close the gate on your way out.
272
00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:09,495
I spent the next few weeks making
sure that as many people as possible
273
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,120
knew about my impending glory.
274
00:12:14,089 --> 00:12:17,892
I even laid out another 500 quid
on this understated advertorial.
275
00:12:18,741 --> 00:12:20,116
You have a lovely day.
276
00:12:20,142 --> 00:12:21,757
No, no, the pleasure's all mine.
277
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:22,863
All right, ta.
278
00:12:25,441 --> 00:12:28,455
You look like the cat that got
the cream sucked out of his balls.
279
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:29,930
That was the editor of The Chronicle.
280
00:12:29,964 --> 00:12:32,979
She said it wouldn't be a terrible
idea if I started preparing a speech.
281
00:12:33,005 --> 00:12:36,526
How about, "Dear mentals
in charge of voting,
282
00:12:36,552 --> 00:12:39,727
"thank you for collectively
losing your minds."
283
00:12:40,251 --> 00:12:41,789
It sounds like you're a shoe-in, boss.
284
00:12:41,815 --> 00:12:43,360
It certainly fucking does.
285
00:12:47,708 --> 00:12:50,883
My big night arrived, the
Essex Prestige Awards dinner.
286
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,615
Although looking at my fellow
attendees, you'd have thought
287
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,001
I'd wandered into a convention
for the Boring and Ugly Society.
288
00:12:56,237 --> 00:12:57,883
Everywhere you looked
there were horrors,
289
00:12:57,909 --> 00:13:01,335
fat, sweaty messes of men
with bad hair, bad suits
290
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:02,765
and tired-looking wives.
291
00:13:02,875 --> 00:13:05,077
With one notable exception.
292
00:13:11,186 --> 00:13:13,601
Sam looked absolutely stunning,
293
00:13:13,863 --> 00:13:16,088
like a Hollywood film star
from the '50s.
294
00:13:16,464 --> 00:13:18,363
A film star who'd accidently
been dropped off
295
00:13:18,389 --> 00:13:20,895
at a two-star hotel function
room somewhere in Essex.
296
00:13:22,778 --> 00:13:24,073
Sensational, isn't she?
297
00:13:24,147 --> 00:13:26,855
I get a boner just knowing
every man in here would crawl naked
298
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:30,055
over broken glass smeared in leopard
shit to sniff the sweaty nutsack
299
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,040
of the man who
takes her to bed every night.
300
00:13:32,539 --> 00:13:34,395
Ah, Vincent Swan.
301
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,809
Who did you pay off at The
Chronicle to get an invite?
302
00:13:36,835 --> 00:13:38,575
No-one, as you'll find out later.
303
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,611
Have you met my gorgeous wife Sam?
304
00:13:40,637 --> 00:13:43,895
My pleasure. I'm looking,
but I don't see the white stick?
305
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:48,095
Yeah, well, my sight came back
a year after we were married
306
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:49,503
but by then it was too late.
307
00:13:50,738 --> 00:13:52,593
So how do you boys know each other?
308
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,015
Old golfing buddies.
309
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,741
Vincent applied for a job with me
but it wasn't a good fit.
310
00:13:56,767 --> 00:13:58,015
A bit like that suit.
311
00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:00,399
Must be hard being between
children's and grown-up sizes, eh?
312
00:14:00,539 --> 00:14:02,655
Well, it was a pleasure
meeting you, Sam.
313
00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:04,552
If you ever need a job, give me a call.
314
00:14:04,599 --> 00:14:07,993
We're always on the lookout for the
right type of people at Millman Young.
315
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,175
And who's this beauty?
316
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,646
I take it you paid her
to be your escort for the night?
317
00:14:12,731 --> 00:14:15,186
Very good. No, this is my wife, Belinda.
318
00:14:15,212 --> 00:14:17,823
Belinda. Lovely to meet you.
319
00:14:18,115 --> 00:14:19,399
And here's my card.
320
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,604
If you ever need a man that isn't
three inches shorter than average
321
00:14:21,630 --> 00:14:23,371
in every department, give me a call.
322
00:14:24,079 --> 00:14:25,399
See you later, little prick.
323
00:14:26,552 --> 00:14:27,398
Vincent!
324
00:14:27,423 --> 00:14:29,959
Sometimes you gotta call a
little prick a little prick.
325
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:32,569
Do you want to go and join the
others? I'll be over in a minute.
326
00:14:32,595 --> 00:14:33,453
Yeah.
327
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,080
Hi, Carol.
328
00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:38,735
Ah, Mr Mayor. Vincent
Swan, Cachet Windows.
329
00:14:38,761 --> 00:14:41,656
Now I do hope Grandad hasn't
been boring the tits off you...
330
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:45,730
So, what did you do before
you joined Cachet, Martin?
331
00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:49,160
I was in bands. Do you know Paul Young?
332
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,135
Sorry, not really.
333
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,375
Neither does he any more.
334
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,534
He got dumped from his band
before they had a number one hit.
335
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:58,095
I wasn't dumped. I left.
To get a proper job.
336
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,538
And now you work for Tony?
337
00:15:00,564 --> 00:15:04,295
No, it's fine. Performing
to millions on Top Of The Pops
338
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,255
didn't really appeal to me.
I much prefer the high-octane thrill
339
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:10,081
of an awards dinner in a Ramada
hotel on the edge of Chelmsford.
340
00:15:10,530 --> 00:15:12,789
I don't meet many ex-musicians.
341
00:15:12,815 --> 00:15:15,971
Technically he's not an ex,
he's a failed musician.
342
00:15:16,096 --> 00:15:18,508
He can still play an instrument,
it's just no-one wants him to.
343
00:15:18,534 --> 00:15:21,851
And technically
you're a bell-end, aren't you?
344
00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:24,215
Right, does anyone apart from
Fitzpatrick want a drink?
345
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:25,596
I'm just going to the bar.
346
00:15:25,622 --> 00:15:27,237
I'm all right, thanks, love.
347
00:15:27,339 --> 00:15:28,972
Can I have a snakebite, please?
348
00:15:29,042 --> 00:15:31,055
Classy. Thy... Maureen?
349
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:32,207
A double.
350
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:33,860
A double of...
351
00:15:33,886 --> 00:15:35,923
Of... anything that will
take the edge off.
352
00:15:35,949 --> 00:15:37,284
Righty-ho. Sam?
353
00:15:37,419 --> 00:15:38,819
No, I'm good, thanks.
354
00:15:39,990 --> 00:15:41,855
I'll have a pint, please, Lavatory.
355
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,575
Good to know. You can get it yourself.
356
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:44,935
Come on, if you're going.
357
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:47,109
I'm going, but just
so that you're clear,
358
00:15:47,135 --> 00:15:48,968
I'm definitely not
bringing you back a pint.
359
00:15:50,062 --> 00:15:51,287
Don't be a dick!
360
00:15:51,523 --> 00:15:53,538
So, Maureen, How did you and Brian meet?
361
00:15:53,564 --> 00:15:55,010
I can't remember.
362
00:15:55,212 --> 00:15:58,734
Really? Well, I remember
exactly the day I met Vincent.
363
00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,422
It was nine months before Nat was born.
364
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,815
Really, it was!
365
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:04,655
I think you call that a hole in one.
366
00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:07,810
I don't know how you find the time
to raise kids and teach.
367
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:09,454
Oh, I'm not a teacher.
368
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:11,422
Oh, sorry.
369
00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:14,135
I could've sworn Brian said
you were your son's teacher.
370
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:16,737
My mistake. Must've been
talking about another Vincent.
371
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:20,455
Actually, you know what?
372
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,960
I think I do fancy that drink
after all. Excuse me.
373
00:16:27,171 --> 00:16:28,359
Still here?
374
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:33,095
Hello. Hello? Mate, sorry, could I?
375
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:34,815
- Two pints of lager, please.
- Yeah.
376
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,735
Mate, come on,
he's literally just got here.
377
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,600
There's got to be some
semblance of an order?
378
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:42,255
Hi, could I get a pint of lager
and a glass of red wine, please?
379
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,655
- Make it a large one.
- Cool.
380
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:44,924
Just taking the piss now.
381
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:46,742
Cheers.
382
00:16:47,108 --> 00:16:48,763
Oh, hi, Sam.
383
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,775
Yeah, sorry, I'll get these.
384
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:51,855
Yeah, I know you will.
385
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,055
I'm just making sure we get
served before last orders.
386
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,215
Yeah, good call.
387
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,303
Turns out I've got the bar
presence of the invisible man.
388
00:16:59,290 --> 00:17:02,225
So this must seem a far cry
from hanging out with pop stars.
389
00:17:02,251 --> 00:17:04,415
I was in the band of
an "about to pop" star.
390
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,043
It wasn't really that glamourous.
391
00:17:06,069 --> 00:17:07,411
You must miss it, though?
392
00:17:07,437 --> 00:17:10,372
Yeah, a bit,
especially on nights like this.
393
00:17:10,398 --> 00:17:12,653
There was a stage I was
playing to a room this size,
394
00:17:12,679 --> 00:17:15,246
now I'm making small talk
with Fitzpatrick and Thyroid...
395
00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:17,039
Sorry, Maureen.
396
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:19,415
Thyroid?
397
00:17:20,299 --> 00:17:22,834
She had a thyroid problem,
it affected her weight.
398
00:17:22,860 --> 00:17:24,595
Sorry, that sounded mean.
399
00:17:24,621 --> 00:17:26,265
Yeah, that's quite mean.
400
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:28,655
But no need to apologise.
401
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,505
I can't stand the rude, fat bitch.
402
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,838
She is a charmer, isn't she?
Why, what's she said to upset you?
403
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:36,575
Nothing I can't handle.
404
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,815
Ladies and gentlemen,
please return to your tables.
405
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,136
Dinner will be served in five minutes.
406
00:17:40,162 --> 00:17:44,015
Right, well, better get back, then,
before Thyroid swipes our starters.
407
00:17:54,610 --> 00:17:56,015
Shouldn't you be sitting
next to Vincent?
408
00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:58,718
Oh, sorry. I could always move
Thyroid back if you'd rather?
409
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:01,722
- Nah. More wine?
- Yeah, please.
410
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,775
I think there's been a mix-up.
You're supposed to be over here.
411
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,935
I'm all right where I am,
thank you very much.
412
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,653
Babe, I want you over here, next to me.
413
00:18:08,679 --> 00:18:10,455
And I want you to be less
of a shitbag husband
414
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,831
but we can't always have
what we want in life, can we?
415
00:18:14,614 --> 00:18:15,773
Right.
416
00:18:17,290 --> 00:18:19,745
So, Maureen, it looks like
you're my neighbour tonight.
417
00:18:19,771 --> 00:18:22,026
So where's Brian been hiding
you this past year, eh?
418
00:18:22,052 --> 00:18:25,147
He's ashamed of my size,
so he pretends I don't exist.
419
00:18:25,173 --> 00:18:28,468
And I'm disappointed with his choice
of profession and sexual impotence,
420
00:18:28,494 --> 00:18:31,333
so it swings both ways, doesn't it?
421
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:33,430
Please, Maureen.
422
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,135
Right, who wants some bubbly?
423
00:18:35,161 --> 00:18:36,774
Oh, yeah, before we get stuck in
424
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:38,894
can we just establish how
we're splitting the bill?
425
00:18:39,154 --> 00:18:41,895
I'm not really a champagne drinker,
so I might as well get my own.
426
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,175
It's all right, Scrooge McFuck,
this is my treat,
427
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,255
a thank you to everyone who
made it all possible, and you.
428
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:50,215
Excuse me, sweetheart, who do I have
to suck off around here to get
429
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:51,895
a bottle of your finest champagne?
430
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,680
Oh, and a snakebite, please.
431
00:18:54,053 --> 00:18:55,199
Ta.
432
00:18:56,419 --> 00:18:59,226
Thyroid continued to be the
life and soul of the evening.
433
00:18:59,252 --> 00:19:01,353
Even though we couldn't have kids
434
00:19:01,379 --> 00:19:04,544
I always knew Brian would be
a very disappointing father.
435
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,120
Enola Gay by OMD
436
00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:09,905
Excuse me.
437
00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:12,629
That is overdone.
All right? Take it away.
438
00:19:12,795 --> 00:19:15,035
I want to eat it, not
re-sole my shoe with it.
439
00:19:18,388 --> 00:19:20,453
Don't take this the wrong way, Carol,
440
00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:22,976
but you remind me of a dog.
441
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,255
Eventually I excused myself
from the feast of fun
442
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,243
and went to prepare for
my acceptance speech.
443
00:19:30,659 --> 00:19:32,735
Thank you for this unexpected honour...
444
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,735
I hadn't actually prepared a speech,
445
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,450
but after a quick session with
my favourite aide-memoire,
446
00:19:41,476 --> 00:19:43,356
I felt certain I could find the words.
447
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:47,375
Ladies and gentlemen,
448
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:51,060
can you give a warm welcome to your
host for the awards this evening,
449
00:19:51,216 --> 00:19:55,735
managing editor of The
Essex Chronicle, Miss Sharon Webb.
450
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:03,655
Good evening.
451
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:07,354
Or should I say, good year,
for what a year it's been
452
00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:11,333
for the companies and business leaders
of Essex gathered here tonight.
453
00:20:11,615 --> 00:20:14,375
Without further ado
we're moving straight onto
454
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:18,202
tonight's opening category,
Entrepreneur of the Year,
455
00:20:18,228 --> 00:20:22,095
sponsored by Mr Rossi's
Ice Cream of Southend-on-Sea.
456
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:23,615
Mucho grazie, Mr Rossi.
457
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,695
Now, the first winner of this award
is someone who's taken
458
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:32,655
a fledgling sales team in southwest
Essex and recorded record profits
459
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,322
in their business's
first year of trading,
460
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:40,198
a man whose employees have described
as an inspirational leader,
461
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,190
his clients have called him impressive,
462
00:20:43,291 --> 00:20:45,890
trustworthy and charming.
463
00:20:46,219 --> 00:20:50,495
Ladies and gentleman,
please give a huge congratulations
464
00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:53,052
to the winner of
the Essex Prestige Awards'
465
00:20:53,078 --> 00:20:56,387
first ever Entrepreneur of the Year,
466
00:20:56,413 --> 00:21:00,499
Mr Andrew Davies of
Millman Young Publishing.
467
00:21:12,641 --> 00:21:16,015
Sorry, Sharon, it looks like someone's had
a bit too much sauce with their steak.
468
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:19,775
Has anyone lost a child? He's on
stage if you'd like to collect him.
469
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,015
Sorry, who are you?
470
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,961
Vincent Swan. Entrepreneur
of the year. Keep up.
471
00:21:22,987 --> 00:21:24,575
I think there's been a mix-up.
472
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,255
This is our Entrepreneur of
the Year, Mr Andrew Davies,
473
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:29,455
from Millman Young Publishing.
474
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:30,735
Please leave the stage.
475
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,566
I think someone had a bit too much
icing sugar on their profiteroles.
476
00:21:33,592 --> 00:21:34,992
Let's keep this dignified.
477
00:21:38,238 --> 00:21:41,055
Well, that's the magic of
live television, I guess!
478
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:44,255
Maybe next year we don't give
a table to Alcoholics Anonymous.
479
00:21:46,380 --> 00:21:47,958
I'd just like to say I'm very honoured
480
00:21:47,984 --> 00:21:51,134
and appreciative of this award.
I'd like to start by thanking...
481
00:21:58,693 --> 00:22:00,528
What's so fucking funny, Brian?
482
00:22:01,270 --> 00:22:04,375
That... That went better
than how I imagined.
483
00:22:04,401 --> 00:22:05,660
What went better?
484
00:22:05,988 --> 00:22:07,575
I'm really sorry, Vincent.
485
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:09,440
I didn't think he'd take it this far.
486
00:22:10,373 --> 00:22:12,403
Wait. You had something to do with this?
487
00:22:14,938 --> 00:22:17,731
Vincent Swan, meet Sharon Webb.
488
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:21,455
Hello, Vincent.
489
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:22,720
You cunts.
490
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,456
Who's the king of pranks now, then, eh?
491
00:22:28,011 --> 00:22:30,415
You were never up for an award,
you silly tosser.
492
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,815
Do you know how much
I've spunked on this table
493
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:34,375
and that fucking advertorial?
494
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,655
Yeah, well, if you play with
the big boys, them's the stakes.
495
00:22:38,965 --> 00:22:41,083
For the record, I had no
idea about this, mate.
496
00:22:42,351 --> 00:22:45,214
Never mind, Vincent, at least
we had a nice steak out of it.
497
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:48,575
Cor blimey! If I'd known it was
going to be this entertaining
498
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,295
I'd have paid for dinner myself.
499
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:51,655
Shut up, you wally!
500
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:52,982
You're fired.
501
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:56,935
All right, let's call a truce
on the pranks now, shall we?
502
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,135
No, read my lips. You're fucking sacked.
503
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:00,895
Whatever you say, boss
504
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,701
Walshy will finish up
with you next week.
505
00:23:02,727 --> 00:23:04,537
It'll be minus whatever
the fuck I've laid out
506
00:23:04,562 --> 00:23:06,447
feeding you and Little
Miss Sunshine over there.
507
00:23:09,151 --> 00:23:10,506
Seriously?
508
00:23:11,037 --> 00:23:12,389
All right, so you can...
509
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,469
You can dish it out but you can't
take it? Is that what this is?
510
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,015
Walshy, he can't sack me
for that. Tell him.
511
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,815
Yeah, look, maybe we
should all calm down
512
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:22,495
and pick this up in the morning, eh?
513
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:24,777
No, you make a decision right now,
Tony. It's me or him.
514
00:23:27,212 --> 00:23:28,379
Well?
515
00:23:30,657 --> 00:23:32,992
Sorry, Brian. This isn't down to me.
516
00:23:33,283 --> 00:23:34,696
Unbelievable.
517
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,255
It was only a joke.
518
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:39,713
Right. Come on, Sam.
519
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:41,815
Sam, tell him it was a joke.
520
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,895
I didn't know he was going
to go on the stage.
521
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:46,840
They didn't even call his name out.
522
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:54,615
Ah, Mr Swan! It's Miss Barnes
from the tax office.
523
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:55,544
Not now.
524
00:23:55,569 --> 00:23:58,255
Congratulations on your
meteoric rise from gardener to
525
00:23:58,280 --> 00:23:59,975
award-nominated sales superstar.
526
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:00,884
Not now!
527
00:24:00,909 --> 00:24:03,535
The funny thing is, I'd
completely given up the ghost
528
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,695
until this shameful piece of
self-promotion landed in my lap.
529
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,775
Vincent, who is this?
What's she talking about?
530
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,975
Why don't you save me the
Lieutenant Columbo bollocks
531
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,775
- and do what you've come to do.
- I would be delighted.
532
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,735
Vincent Swan, I have here
a demand for unpaid tax
533
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:18,175
for the last 12 months.
534
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,487
Given that you were kind
enough to publish details
535
00:24:20,512 --> 00:24:22,415
of your sales performance,
we've estimated
536
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:27,359
that you currently owe us £50,000
in unpaid tax and fines.
537
00:24:27,539 --> 00:24:29,720
You will find details in this document.
538
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:32,720
Have a wonderful evening.
539
00:24:35,360 --> 00:24:39,055
Another secret you were hoping I'd
never find out about. Fucking hell.
540
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,117
Don't walk away from me, Vincent.
541
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:43,920
Vincent!
542
00:24:49,637 --> 00:24:51,023
Are you going to say anything?
543
00:24:51,126 --> 00:24:52,343
I'll sort it.
544
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,655
How? How does it get sorted,
Vincent? Eh?
545
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,896
Are you going to find 50 grand
down the back of the sofa?
546
00:24:58,922 --> 00:25:00,775
Like I always do, on my own.
547
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,295
This isn't a game, Vincent.
548
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,855
It's not another one
of your showroom pranks.
549
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,935
It's £50,000.
550
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,330
We could lose our house, everything.
551
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:11,375
Will you slow down?
552
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:14,855
I don't remember you being
so concerned about my tax affairs
553
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,655
while you were out fucking
spending all over the place.
554
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:21,695
Fucking hell, that is pathetic,
even for a scumbag like you.
555
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,815
Okay, will you stop speaking to me like
I'm some sort of a cunt, please?
556
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,255
Well, it's hard not to, Vincent,
557
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:28,655
when you behave like such a
fucking cunt all the time.
558
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:31,175
There's a line, Sam, that's
all I'm saying, all right?
559
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,033
There's only so much I can take.
560
00:25:33,877 --> 00:25:36,735
A line you crossed by fucking
our son's schoolteacher.
561
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:37,923
Fucking hell!
562
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,341
She wanted a conservatory.
563
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,990
We've been through this.
Nothing happened.
564
00:25:49,980 --> 00:25:52,795
I just wish you had
the fucking bollocks to admit it.
565
00:25:52,821 --> 00:25:55,895
I mean, I've always known
you were a fucking piece of shit,
566
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:57,353
but what's Robbie going to think, eh?
567
00:25:57,379 --> 00:25:59,974
What kind of father does that make you?
568
00:26:03,787 --> 00:26:05,383
All right, fine.
569
00:26:06,127 --> 00:26:07,485
I am sleeping with her.
570
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:09,915
Is that better?
571
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:15,395
Why?
572
00:26:17,196 --> 00:26:19,236
Why would you do that to us, Vincent?
573
00:26:20,908 --> 00:26:24,068
Just go inside, Sam.
I can't do this tonight.
574
00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:27,935
You fucking piece of shit.
575
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,400
You fucking useless, fucking cunt!
576
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:34,335
Just go inside.
577
00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:36,320
Where are you going to fucking go, eh?
578
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,215
You go back to that
fucking whore tonight,
579
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,515
don't you ever come back here, Vincent.
580
00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:47,560
Fuck you.
581
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,800
Waiting For A Girl
Like You by Foreigner
582
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:15,255
♪ So long ♪
583
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:20,415
♪ I've been looking too hard
I've been waiting too long ♪
584
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:25,095
♪ Sometimes I don't know
what I will find ♪
585
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:29,495
♪ I only know it's a matter of time ♪
586
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:31,600
♪ When you love someone ♪
587
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:36,400
♪ When you love someone ♪
588
00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:43,655
♪ It feels so right, so warm and true ♪
589
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:48,720
♪ I need to know if you feel it too ♪
590
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:51,960
♪ Maybe I'm wrong ♪
591
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:57,655
♪ Won't you tell me ♪
♪ if I'm coming on too strong? ♪
592
00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:00,040
♪ This heart of mine
has been hurt before... ♪
45133
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