All language subtitles for F-house.2019.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX]-HI
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1
00:00:13,937 --> 00:00:18,937
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
2
00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:23,630
- (objects thud)
- (Women clamoring)
3
00:00:23,865 --> 00:00:26,366
- (object shatters)
- Gilda: Let go!
4
00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:28,870
- (object shatters)
- (Woman groans)
5
00:00:29,137 --> 00:00:32,773
- Gilda: Oh, my...
- Woman: God! No! (groans)
6
00:00:33,674 --> 00:00:36,110
- Gilda: Now, get up!
- Woman: No!
7
00:00:36,643 --> 00:00:40,982
- (Gilda sobs)
- Woman: (whimpers) No.
8
00:00:41,115 --> 00:00:43,318
- Please! No, please! No, no!
- (bat thuds)
9
00:00:43,550 --> 00:00:45,452
- (Gilda screams)
- (bat thuds)
10
00:00:45,954 --> 00:00:47,421
- (Gilda pants, screams)
- (bat thuds)
11
00:00:47,554 --> 00:00:49,723
(Gilda pants)
12
00:00:49,858 --> 00:00:52,526
- (bat thuds)
- (grunts)
13
00:00:54,628 --> 00:00:55,897
- (grunts)
- (bat thuds)
14
00:00:56,630 --> 00:00:57,798
- (grunts)
- (bat thuds)
15
00:00:58,233 --> 00:01:00,567
(sobs)
16
00:01:02,569 --> 00:01:06,773
- You're not finished.
- No. No, please.
17
00:01:07,041 --> 00:01:11,778
There are no pleases here.
We had a deal. Remember?
18
00:01:12,713 --> 00:01:15,850
I dictated the terms,
you named your price,
19
00:01:15,984 --> 00:01:19,220
and then you willingly
committed murder.
20
00:01:19,386 --> 00:01:21,122
(sobs)
21
00:01:21,588 --> 00:01:23,657
Nero: While this has provided me
a brief reprieve
22
00:01:23,858 --> 00:01:26,027
on an otherwise banal Tuesday,
23
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:29,330
you still
have one final obligation.
24
00:01:29,463 --> 00:01:30,631
(sobs)
25
00:01:30,899 --> 00:01:33,368
Also, something tells me
those crocodile tears
26
00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:35,069
are going to dry
right up the second
27
00:01:35,203 --> 00:01:37,571
you walk out of here
and start spending.
28
00:01:37,738 --> 00:01:40,741
I mean, for people like you,
that's a given.
29
00:01:41,809 --> 00:01:44,478
Now, come on, you can do it.
30
00:01:54,856 --> 00:01:58,692
- (breathes heavily, grunts)
- (knife clangs)
31
00:02:00,295 --> 00:02:06,700
- (grunts)
- (knife clangs)
32
00:02:06,834 --> 00:02:09,904
(flesh splatters)
33
00:02:11,072 --> 00:02:14,275
- (knife slices)
- (breathes heavily, chuckles)
34
00:02:14,842 --> 00:02:16,010
(chuckles softly)
35
00:02:16,244 --> 00:02:18,980
- (breathes sharply)
- (flesh splatters)
36
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,782
- (Gilda pants)
- (blood drips)
37
00:02:27,889 --> 00:02:29,589
Put it where it belongs.
38
00:02:37,932 --> 00:02:40,835
(sobs)
39
00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:58,920
- On the ground.
- (sobs)
40
00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:03,191
Now, see,
that was not so hard, was it?
41
00:03:05,293 --> 00:03:07,694
(Gilda sobbing)
42
00:03:13,368 --> 00:03:14,701
(yelling)
43
00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:17,038
- (crying)
- (chuckles)
44
00:03:18,139 --> 00:03:19,639
Clean her up,
give her the money,
45
00:03:19,773 --> 00:03:23,077
and get her
the fuck outta here. Jesus.
46
00:03:23,543 --> 00:03:26,147
(Gilda sobs)
47
00:03:31,052 --> 00:03:31,986
(grunts)
48
00:03:57,512 --> 00:03:58,813
(birds chirping)
49
00:04:56,404 --> 00:04:57,604
(switch clicks)
50
00:05:11,219 --> 00:05:12,553
Woman over PA: Kasper Nordin.
51
00:05:12,752 --> 00:05:14,422
Welcome
to Furcas's House of Fun.
52
00:05:14,555 --> 00:05:16,357
Please get dressed
and make your way
53
00:05:16,491 --> 00:05:19,527
to the common room
for some food and refreshments.
54
00:05:19,793 --> 00:05:21,095
Hope you have fun!
55
00:05:21,795 --> 00:05:23,865
Big news, Kaz.
56
00:05:24,232 --> 00:05:27,201
I got something very interesting
in the pipe for you.
57
00:05:27,502 --> 00:05:28,803
It's a new reality series
58
00:05:28,936 --> 00:05:30,238
- called...
- You gotta be kidding me!
59
00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:34,408
And hang on.
You win, you get five million.
60
00:05:38,045 --> 00:05:40,680
I just wanna move on, okay?
61
00:05:40,815 --> 00:05:44,185
Mainstream.
No more of this reality shit.
62
00:05:55,930 --> 00:05:57,797
Agent: Look, Kaz,
it's not like producers
63
00:05:57,932 --> 00:05:59,000
are kicking down
my door for you.
64
00:05:59,133 --> 00:06:00,334
These guys asked
for you by name.
65
00:06:00,535 --> 00:06:02,170
- Why? Because of Darla?
- Agent: Who cares?
66
00:06:02,303 --> 00:06:04,972
You and Darla did a show
together. People know your face.
67
00:06:05,106 --> 00:06:06,607
People hate my face.
68
00:06:06,740 --> 00:06:08,009
That show was the stupidest
thing I ever did.
69
00:06:08,142 --> 00:06:10,244
That's 'cause it was about her.
70
00:06:10,511 --> 00:06:14,215
This time it's about you.
It's redemption time.
71
00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:19,453
(sighs) I think it sounds
pretty sketchy to me.
72
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,075
Hello, mate.
What's the craic with you?
73
00:07:14,741 --> 00:07:16,743
Hey. What happened?
74
00:07:17,278 --> 00:07:19,213
How come everyone says that
when they come out here?
75
00:07:19,380 --> 00:07:21,482
What kind of show is this?
They drugged us.
76
00:07:21,716 --> 00:07:23,884
Woke up me fucking skivvies,
some voice on high saying,
77
00:07:24,018 --> 00:07:25,453
"Get changed
and proceed to the common room."
78
00:07:25,586 --> 00:07:27,221
These people are getting so sued
believe you me.
79
00:07:27,355 --> 00:07:29,090
You've never been
drugged before?
80
00:07:29,223 --> 00:07:31,726
Yeah, but of my own volition,
and at my own discretion,
81
00:07:31,926 --> 00:07:33,127
and not in this outfit.
82
00:07:33,261 --> 00:07:34,562
What have they done
with me clothes?
83
00:07:34,761 --> 00:07:36,864
They choose our clothes,
that was in the contract.
84
00:07:37,164 --> 00:07:38,532
Well,
at least give me some variety.
85
00:07:38,699 --> 00:07:39,900
Spice of fucking life.
86
00:07:40,101 --> 00:07:42,603
Not the same
ten quim-pink shirts every day.
87
00:07:43,237 --> 00:07:45,772
- Slainte!
- Wh... where are we?
88
00:07:45,906 --> 00:07:47,575
Welcome
to Furcas's House of Fun.
89
00:07:47,708 --> 00:07:50,378
Nevin: Hello? Anyone in charge?
90
00:07:50,544 --> 00:07:53,381
I'm pretty sure kidnapping
is illegal, yeah?
91
00:07:54,781 --> 00:07:56,384
He's tried this
three times already.
92
00:07:56,617 --> 00:07:59,186
- Yo, mate, nobody's coming.
- Get fucked.
93
00:08:00,288 --> 00:08:02,056
What the fuck
did you just say to me?
94
00:08:03,090 --> 00:08:04,558
Nevin: I didn't know.
95
00:08:06,627 --> 00:08:08,362
I said, "What the fuck
did you just say to me?"
96
00:08:08,562 --> 00:08:10,831
Sorry, mate, I am, uh,
clinically claustrophobic.
97
00:08:10,965 --> 00:08:13,868
Might even suffer from a smidgen
of the ole Tourette's, yeah?
98
00:08:15,169 --> 00:08:16,437
I'm just fucking with you.
(chuckles)
99
00:08:16,570 --> 00:08:18,439
- I'm just fucking with you.
- (chuckles)
100
00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:21,609
Irish sense of humor.
Fucking legendary.
101
00:08:22,410 --> 00:08:24,245
- Is there a phone?
- No phones.
102
00:08:24,445 --> 00:08:26,314
Took our mobiles as well.
So, you can kiss
103
00:08:26,447 --> 00:08:28,616
that social media hot streak
goodbye.
104
00:08:28,816 --> 00:08:29,917
It's all in the contract.
105
00:08:30,151 --> 00:08:31,385
What's the last thing
you remember?
106
00:08:31,519 --> 00:08:32,953
Getting in the limo
after the airport
107
00:08:33,087 --> 00:08:34,422
and then...
(whistles) ...lights out.
108
00:08:34,588 --> 00:08:37,191
- (chuckles) Woke up here.
- Yeah. Ditto.
109
00:08:37,358 --> 00:08:38,859
And you lot are all right
with all this?
110
00:08:39,026 --> 00:08:40,428
Wow, you've never
been knocked out before?
111
00:08:40,628 --> 00:08:43,631
- You'll be fine, man.
- Fucking mental.
112
00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:46,534
For five million quid,
I'm all right with it, mate.
113
00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:49,970
- Do you want a drink?
- Uh, yeah.
114
00:08:52,940 --> 00:08:55,109
I know you.
Yeah, you're that guy.
115
00:08:55,242 --> 00:08:58,112
- Kasper, Kasper, Kasper, uh...
- Nordin.
116
00:08:58,312 --> 00:09:01,315
Kasper Nordin. You were married
to that girl, um...
117
00:09:01,615 --> 00:09:03,784
- Darla Drake.
- Darla fucking Drake.
118
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:05,519
You guys had that show. (laughs)
119
00:09:06,153 --> 00:09:07,555
- (snaps fingers)
- Back up Love.
120
00:09:07,688 --> 00:09:09,056
Back up fucking Love!
121
00:09:09,290 --> 00:09:12,126
Oh, you lucky son of a bitch,
yeah. Beautiful girl,
122
00:09:12,259 --> 00:09:13,427
great voice, nice set of...
123
00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:15,563
Fucking...
Look, I'm real sorry, man,
124
00:09:15,730 --> 00:09:17,732
but that song,
"Put Your Heart on the Line,"
125
00:09:17,865 --> 00:09:19,100
oh, that was a solid
126
00:09:19,233 --> 00:09:20,501
- fucking tune, man!
- (counter thuds)
127
00:09:20,634 --> 00:09:21,902
Solid fucking tune!
128
00:09:22,804 --> 00:09:23,704
Yeah.
129
00:09:24,205 --> 00:09:25,807
This place ain't bad.
130
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,141
- But it's weird.
- (chuckles)
131
00:09:27,308 --> 00:09:28,509
A hot tub filled with milk.
132
00:09:28,676 --> 00:09:31,212
Amigos, good news.
We found a hot tub.
133
00:09:31,512 --> 00:09:34,782
Yeah. And it's filled with milk.
It's fucking weird.
134
00:09:35,015 --> 00:09:36,250
It's not milk, stupid.
135
00:09:36,484 --> 00:09:39,320
I told you nyuuyoku-zai.
It's Japanese.
136
00:09:39,587 --> 00:09:41,589
Okay, okay, relax, sister.
Breathe.
137
00:09:41,857 --> 00:09:46,227
It's called yukobukake shit.
Who cares?
138
00:09:47,261 --> 00:09:48,996
Who's the big bird?
139
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,565
(whispering)
Oh, shit, it's Kasper Nordin.
140
00:09:51,732 --> 00:09:53,033
It's Kasper Nordin, man.
141
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:55,804
- No way? Never heard of him.
- James: I'll give you a hint.
142
00:09:56,003 --> 00:09:59,039
♪ Don't waste my time
Or you'll never be mine ♪
143
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,208
♪ Put your heart on the line ♪
144
00:10:01,442 --> 00:10:03,978
♪ Put your heart on the line ♪
145
00:10:05,179 --> 00:10:06,447
- Nah.
- James: He's fucking
146
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:10,618
- Darla Drake's ex-husband, man!
- Oh, yeah! Good for you.
147
00:10:10,951 --> 00:10:12,153
Kasper: Yeah. Can we move on?
148
00:10:12,386 --> 00:10:14,856
Can I get my drink, please?
Scotch.
149
00:10:15,089 --> 00:10:16,190
Hi, everyone.
150
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,993
Ula La More.
151
00:10:21,028 --> 00:10:23,597
- (chuckles) Ximena.
- Ula. (chuckles)
152
00:10:25,299 --> 00:10:27,568
- Hi, I'm Ula.
- Kasper: What's up?
153
00:10:28,335 --> 00:10:32,406
- Ula: Hi. Ula.
- Ooh-la-la, yes, you are.
154
00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:35,009
- I'm Dex.
- Hi, Dex.
155
00:10:36,210 --> 00:10:37,478
Hi. I'm Ula.
156
00:10:37,711 --> 00:10:40,014
I know. I, uh,
follow you on the Insta.
157
00:10:40,147 --> 00:10:41,515
Cool. (chuckles)
158
00:10:48,722 --> 00:10:51,358
Can someone tell me
where the producers are, please?
159
00:10:51,492 --> 00:10:53,360
I take it you don't like
being drugged either?
160
00:10:53,661 --> 00:10:55,963
I scoured the entire flat.
Couldn't find a camera,
161
00:10:56,096 --> 00:10:57,231
a director,
not even a bloody PA.
162
00:10:57,765 --> 00:11:00,134
- Can't get outside neither.
- Dex: This is not good.
163
00:11:00,434 --> 00:11:04,004
Hi, I'm Nevin.
I'm claustrophobic, clinically.
164
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,842
- No shit? (scoffs)
- "El Shocker"?
165
00:11:07,007 --> 00:11:09,610
Yeah. This guy knows what's up.
166
00:11:09,743 --> 00:11:11,947
Put her there, Daddy!
(clicks tongue)
167
00:11:12,079 --> 00:11:14,982
- I thought you was dead.
- (laughs)
168
00:11:17,151 --> 00:11:18,252
Yeah.
169
00:11:20,822 --> 00:11:23,224
Presenter: Welcome
to Furcas's House of Fun.
170
00:11:23,424 --> 00:11:26,160
Now, broadcasting live
to the entire world.
171
00:11:26,293 --> 00:11:29,063
Streaming 24/7,
seven days a week,
172
00:11:29,196 --> 00:11:31,332
with no commercial
interruptions.
173
00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:33,667
High stakes, high drama...
174
00:11:33,802 --> 00:11:35,202
- (police siren wailing)
- ...anything goes.
175
00:11:35,469 --> 00:11:37,238
It's the ultimate
in online-reality-fun,
176
00:11:37,471 --> 00:11:39,507
where you, the global audience
177
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:41,542
must decide who is sent
packing,
178
00:11:41,675 --> 00:11:44,846
and who takes home
the five million-dollar
179
00:11:45,012 --> 00:11:46,080
grand prize.
180
00:11:46,815 --> 00:11:50,150
So, without further ado,
let's meet our contestants.
181
00:11:50,284 --> 00:11:51,752
Ula La More!
182
00:11:51,953 --> 00:11:53,754
- (All applaud)
- Yeah, boy!
183
00:11:53,955 --> 00:11:55,155
Presenter: Dropped from heaven
184
00:11:55,689 --> 00:11:57,458
- straight to Warsaw, Poland...
- (camera shutter clicking)
185
00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:59,360
...Miss La More now resides
in the City of Angels
186
00:11:59,493 --> 00:12:00,829
- where she boasts more than...
- Woo-hoo!
187
00:12:00,962 --> 00:12:02,796
...eight million
Instagram followers
188
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:05,065
and spends her days
working out,
189
00:12:05,199 --> 00:12:07,134
hanging out, and going out.
190
00:12:07,301 --> 00:12:09,203
- Yo, is that...
- Ula La More.
191
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:11,105
College Dude: What is this?
192
00:12:11,338 --> 00:12:13,207
It's that, um, Funhouse thing.
It's a show.
193
00:12:13,340 --> 00:12:14,708
Presenter:
...And yolo-ing the hell
194
00:12:14,843 --> 00:12:17,077
out of the Funhouse
for all to see!
195
00:12:17,812 --> 00:12:20,849
- James Headstone Malone.
- Oh, motherfucker...
196
00:12:20,982 --> 00:12:22,383
Presenter:
He's a mixed martial artist,
197
00:12:22,516 --> 00:12:24,552
hailing out of
Dundalk, Ireland.
198
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:26,554
After crushing skulls
199
00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:28,890
on the hit reality series,
The Warriors Way,
200
00:12:29,089 --> 00:12:32,426
the Irish prince of pain
took a run at MMA gold...
201
00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:33,862
I'm the fucking future!
202
00:12:33,995 --> 00:12:35,529
...but unfortunately,
fell short.
203
00:12:35,696 --> 00:12:38,632
Retired since 2016,
Headstone still enjoys
204
00:12:38,766 --> 00:12:40,534
hitting the gym,
hitting the bar,
205
00:12:40,668 --> 00:12:42,102
- and hitting other people.
- (grunts)
206
00:12:42,236 --> 00:12:43,905
- Hey, man...
- (chuckles softly)
207
00:12:44,104 --> 00:12:47,308
Presenter: Cat Zim.
The Filipino killer from Manila
208
00:12:47,575 --> 00:12:49,343
was a star
on the short-lived series,
209
00:12:49,476 --> 00:12:51,178
The Real Wiccans of Westchester,
210
00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:53,614
but now, only dabbles
in the dark arts
211
00:12:53,747 --> 00:12:56,317
- as a solo performance artist.
- (gunshots)
212
00:12:56,450 --> 00:12:57,852
Presenter:
This quiet queen of cute
213
00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,620
- also holds the honor...
- (clock ticking)
214
00:12:59,854 --> 00:13:03,257
...of being the youngest female
chess grand master in history.
215
00:13:03,724 --> 00:13:08,395
The man simply known as Dex.
After making a splash
216
00:13:08,529 --> 00:13:10,230
on the hit
reality show spin-off,
217
00:13:10,364 --> 00:13:11,765
Santiago Shore,
218
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:14,134
this Chilean troubadour
joined the rap game
219
00:13:14,268 --> 00:13:15,536
where he dropped the hit
220
00:13:15,736 --> 00:13:18,105
of the one-wonder variety,
"El Shocker."
221
00:13:18,238 --> 00:13:20,674
♪ This ends right here
And it's called El Shocker ♪
222
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:23,611
- ♪ El Shocker, El Shocker... ♪
- That never gets old.
223
00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:24,813
(chuckles)
224
00:13:25,613 --> 00:13:28,950
Presenter: Lonni Byrne. The
lonely lass of Boston, Mass.
225
00:13:29,216 --> 00:13:30,484
I'm the bride-to-be.
226
00:13:30,618 --> 00:13:32,486
Presenter: The season 18
bride-to-be
227
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,857
is notorious for dumping
27 men,
228
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:39,526
only to be left at the altar
twice during the final rose,
229
00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:41,328
a Bride to Be first.
230
00:13:41,462 --> 00:13:44,933
I think you're incredible,
but... I'm sorry.
231
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:46,467
I'm sorry.
232
00:13:48,669 --> 00:13:50,270
Presenter:
This titillating temptress
233
00:13:50,471 --> 00:13:53,108
is known not only
for her rare beauty, but also
234
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:56,077
her extracurricular antics,
which have landed her
235
00:13:56,243 --> 00:13:57,578
in the hot seat
236
00:13:57,912 --> 00:13:59,246
- on more than one occasion.
- (police siren wailing)
237
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,681
- Hey...
- Presenter: This one
238
00:14:01,148 --> 00:14:03,484
can definitely hold her own
with the boys, and then some.
239
00:14:03,952 --> 00:14:05,486
Nevin Eversmith.
240
00:14:05,653 --> 00:14:06,821
What's up, YouTube?
It's your boy,
241
00:14:06,955 --> 00:14:08,455
Nevin Eversmith coming
at you again.
242
00:14:08,589 --> 00:14:10,357
Presenter:
This British baculum of bombast
243
00:14:10,491 --> 00:14:11,893
is a YouTube sensation
244
00:14:12,027 --> 00:14:14,929
whose ironic claim to fame
is talking
245
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,398
about and rating viral videos,
246
00:14:17,531 --> 00:14:20,167
chalking up more than ten
million subscribers
247
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:21,535
in the process.
248
00:14:21,903 --> 00:14:25,372
Not to mention, making
a few viral videos of his own.
249
00:14:25,506 --> 00:14:30,344
- Fucking hell...
- (Contestants chuckle)
250
00:14:30,477 --> 00:14:33,247
- Presenter: Ximena Torres.
- What's up, guys?
251
00:14:33,380 --> 00:14:34,849
Presenter:
Just over the border in Tijuana
252
00:14:34,983 --> 00:14:37,384
is where this lethal Latina
resides.
253
00:14:37,551 --> 00:14:39,620
She's Mexico's number one
blogger
254
00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:41,255
on all things pop culture,
255
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,223
and has proven time and again
256
00:14:43,357 --> 00:14:47,128
that social media hazing truly
is mightier than the sword.
257
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:50,098
Watch your back, amigos,
'cause I'm always watching.
258
00:14:50,464 --> 00:14:53,367
- What are you watching?
- I'm watching a program.
259
00:14:53,534 --> 00:14:55,269
- Funhouse.
- Funhouse?
260
00:14:55,402 --> 00:14:56,403
Presenter:
Celebutants, take heed
261
00:14:56,537 --> 00:14:58,305
and keep your nose clean,
262
00:14:58,472 --> 00:15:00,975
otherwise, she's got you
in her sights.
263
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:03,310
Careers have been made
and destroyed
264
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:04,979
by the stroke of her key.
265
00:15:05,312 --> 00:15:07,548
Hi, Kasper. Poor thing.
266
00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:09,550
Presenter:
Just ask our last contestant.
267
00:15:10,051 --> 00:15:12,954
Last and possibly least,
just kidding,
268
00:15:13,088 --> 00:15:15,756
is Stockholm,
Sweden's favorite orphan,
269
00:15:15,890 --> 00:15:17,192
Kasper Nordin.
270
00:15:17,658 --> 00:15:20,227
This crooning Casanova
struck pay dirt
271
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:21,963
when he landed
a job singing backup
272
00:15:22,097 --> 00:15:24,465
for pop's hottest princess,
Darla Drake.
273
00:15:24,665 --> 00:15:29,670
- ♪ Put your heart on the line ♪
- ♪ Put your heart on the line ♪
274
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,473
Presenter: Darla fell hard
for the Swedish chansonnier
275
00:15:32,841 --> 00:15:35,776
and as fast as you could say,
"Put your heart on the line,"
276
00:15:35,910 --> 00:15:39,413
the two lovebirds were married
and had their own reality show,
277
00:15:39,713 --> 00:15:43,952
Darla and Kasper, Back up Love.
After the inevitable split,
278
00:15:44,085 --> 00:15:46,386
Kasper had a very brief
solo career
279
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,023
and is now trying his hand
at acting.
280
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,091
Freeze, buster!
281
00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:51,860
It's not worth it.
282
00:15:52,193 --> 00:15:55,529
- It so is!
- (gunshots)
283
00:15:55,662 --> 00:15:56,630
(groans)
284
00:15:59,868 --> 00:16:00,869
City life.
285
00:16:01,936 --> 00:16:04,205
(All laughing)
286
00:16:04,404 --> 00:16:06,007
Presenter: We can't wait to see
287
00:16:06,141 --> 00:16:10,078
what he has in store
for us next. Hope you have fun.
288
00:16:10,544 --> 00:16:13,848
- Dex: Whoo!
- That's fucking deadly, man.
289
00:16:14,149 --> 00:16:15,349
Um, okay,
290
00:16:15,482 --> 00:16:19,553
um... I'm sorry.
It's kind of my job.
291
00:16:19,753 --> 00:16:22,157
- This is a nightmare.
- Nevin: Savage.
292
00:16:22,289 --> 00:16:23,524
(device chiming)
293
00:16:23,925 --> 00:16:26,127
Hello, everyone. I'm Furcas,
and I'll be your guide
294
00:16:26,261 --> 00:16:28,362
during your stay
at my House of Fun.
295
00:16:28,695 --> 00:16:30,098
Unfortunately,
when this is over,
296
00:16:30,265 --> 00:16:32,332
only one of you will be with us
to collect
297
00:16:32,633 --> 00:16:34,334
the five million-dollar prize.
298
00:16:34,836 --> 00:16:38,006
So, do your best to make
sure that person is you.
299
00:16:38,672 --> 00:16:40,975
Every three days,
your loyal viewing audience
300
00:16:41,109 --> 00:16:43,710
will vote to see who stays
and who goes.
301
00:16:44,112 --> 00:16:46,147
The housemate
who receives the least votes
302
00:16:46,281 --> 00:16:48,016
must face
a skill testing challenge.
303
00:16:48,149 --> 00:16:49,750
- But if the vote count...
- James: Yeah. Whoo!
304
00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:51,451
...is within one percentage
point,
305
00:16:51,752 --> 00:16:54,721
the lowest two will compete
to see who survives.
306
00:16:54,923 --> 00:16:56,057
Any questions?
307
00:16:56,958 --> 00:17:00,228
- Ximena, you look puzzled.
- Yeah. You're not a recording?
308
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:04,065
No, I'm Furcas, your guide
through the Funhouse.
309
00:17:04,299 --> 00:17:05,799
Any other questions?
310
00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:09,336
- Yes, Nevin?
- Uh, oh, yeah, Furcas, is it?
311
00:17:09,536 --> 00:17:11,438
Yeah, you gave us
a Cosby Cocktail.
312
00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:13,540
- What's that all about?
- That was agreed upon
313
00:17:13,674 --> 00:17:15,609
in your contract. Section 32 C.
314
00:17:15,742 --> 00:17:16,643
James: I fucking told you.
315
00:17:16,845 --> 00:17:18,112
Yeah. We're not allowed outside.
316
00:17:18,279 --> 00:17:20,315
I'm claustrophobic, you know,
clinically.
317
00:17:20,447 --> 00:17:21,816
Furcas: So I've heard.
318
00:17:21,983 --> 00:17:23,952
The contract
clearly dictated the terms.
319
00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:26,687
You're confined to the interior
of the house.
320
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:29,456
If you leave at any time,
you'll be disqualified
321
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:33,027
and your one 100,000-dollar
entry gift will be revoked.
322
00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:34,929
You'll be monitored
in every room
323
00:17:35,063 --> 00:17:36,797
- of the house at all times.
- (Ximena chuckles)
324
00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:39,366
Okay. What about the cameras?
Are they in the bathroom?
325
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,903
Furcas: The cameras are hidden
throughout the house.
326
00:17:42,036 --> 00:17:44,005
And while using
the bathroom or shower,
327
00:17:44,138 --> 00:17:46,174
your image will be blurred
to the viewing public.
328
00:17:46,406 --> 00:17:49,776
However, if you so choose,
this blurring feature
329
00:17:49,911 --> 00:17:52,379
can be removed
by you at any time.
330
00:17:53,248 --> 00:17:55,682
Once a day,
for at least five minutes,
331
00:17:55,817 --> 00:17:57,417
you must enter
the confession booth
332
00:17:57,551 --> 00:18:00,989
and speak to our viewers
about anything you want.
333
00:18:01,155 --> 00:18:02,456
Other than that,
334
00:18:02,789 --> 00:18:04,325
you can do as you wish
for as long as you're here.
335
00:18:05,059 --> 00:18:06,793
Fuck me, mate!
Don't be creeping like that.
336
00:18:07,061 --> 00:18:08,863
Furcas: Occasionally,
you'll see helpers
337
00:18:08,997 --> 00:18:10,832
such as this
throughout the house.
338
00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:13,734
They're here to clean,
restock food and drink,
339
00:18:13,902 --> 00:18:15,636
and guide you
through challenges.
340
00:18:15,870 --> 00:18:17,504
You can speak to them
if you wish,
341
00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:20,641
but they will not answer.
They are here only to help.
342
00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:24,312
Then if there are no further
questions, good luck,
343
00:18:24,444 --> 00:18:27,581
and enjoy your stay
at Furcas's House of Fun.
344
00:18:29,083 --> 00:18:31,185
- (All applaud)
- (device whirrs)
345
00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:34,588
Okay. Is it just me
or is there all kinds of wrong
346
00:18:34,721 --> 00:18:35,689
with everything here?
347
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,591
Right. Who wants a drink?
348
00:18:38,525 --> 00:18:39,660
Two for me.
349
00:18:40,962 --> 00:18:42,397
- Nevin: Yes.
- Ximena: Make it double.
350
00:18:43,031 --> 00:18:45,732
So, we're just supposed
to talk then?
351
00:18:45,867 --> 00:18:48,069
- (camera whirring)
- Into there?
352
00:18:48,269 --> 00:18:54,741
♪ No, nobody gonna tell us how
Or take us down, whoa..." ♪
353
00:18:55,944 --> 00:18:57,345
Well, look who showed up.
354
00:18:58,012 --> 00:18:59,780
♪ ...Yeah, here we go... ♪
355
00:18:59,914 --> 00:19:02,649
- Headstone here.
- Hi, it's me, Ula.
356
00:19:02,783 --> 00:19:05,019
♪ El Shocker, El Shocker ♪
357
00:19:05,153 --> 00:19:07,487
What's up?
It's your girl Ximena Torres,
358
00:19:07,621 --> 00:19:09,790
coming at you live
from the Funhouse.
359
00:19:10,892 --> 00:19:12,093
(Contestants cheering)
360
00:19:12,427 --> 00:19:14,996
♪ ...We're gonna
have some fun ♪
361
00:19:15,129 --> 00:19:17,432
♪ Let's all get
A little bit higher... ♪
362
00:19:17,631 --> 00:19:18,967
You're dead sweetheart.
Here we go.
363
00:19:19,100 --> 00:19:20,068
(grunts)
364
00:19:20,567 --> 00:19:22,870
Uh, if my agent's watching,
what the actual fuck, Gary?
365
00:19:23,004 --> 00:19:24,504
You know
I'm clinically claustrophobic!
366
00:19:24,671 --> 00:19:25,840
Yeah, you could have told me
367
00:19:26,140 --> 00:19:27,674
we'd be packed in here
like a bunch of lab rats.
368
00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:30,244
♪ ...Fire dancer... ♪
369
00:19:30,477 --> 00:19:35,649
Both: ♪ Fire dancer
Show me your crown... ♪
370
00:19:35,782 --> 00:19:36,783
Okay, shut up!
371
00:19:37,018 --> 00:19:38,652
♪ ...Show me your crown... ♪
372
00:19:38,785 --> 00:19:40,355
I bet you didn't read
the contract, Gary, did ya?
373
00:19:40,487 --> 00:19:42,423
Your one job, mate.
You sit behind your desk,
374
00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:43,757
you read contracts.
375
00:19:43,958 --> 00:19:45,193
It's like they knew
I was claustrophobic
376
00:19:45,326 --> 00:19:46,593
and they used it against me.
377
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,896
- (door knocks)
- Hang on. I'm... I'm in here.
378
00:19:49,297 --> 00:19:52,499
Actually, it reminds me
of a knock-knock joke.
379
00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:53,835
Knock-knock.
380
00:19:55,769 --> 00:19:57,071
Uh, little old lady...
381
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,009
Didn't... didn't know
you could yodel.
382
00:20:01,209 --> 00:20:02,343
Agent: Come on, Kaz.
383
00:20:02,477 --> 00:20:04,078
Stakes are too high
for that, man.
384
00:20:04,379 --> 00:20:07,181
I'm a lot better
at telling jokes in Swedish.
385
00:20:07,514 --> 00:20:09,716
Wait, how the hell am I supposed
to update social media
386
00:20:09,851 --> 00:20:11,752
if I'm trapped in here
without a phone, Gary?
387
00:20:11,886 --> 00:20:13,054
Who the fuck is Gary?
388
00:20:13,187 --> 00:20:14,721
You know what? Hashtag
#FuckGary.
389
00:20:14,856 --> 00:20:16,690
Let's get that ball rolling,
yeah?
390
00:20:17,492 --> 00:20:18,625
No "El Shocker"?
391
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:24,499
Oh, no, no, sweetie. (gasps)
392
00:20:24,832 --> 00:20:26,700
- (Man whistling)
- (Contestants cheering)
393
00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:29,070
♪ ...Come for you... ♪
394
00:20:29,636 --> 00:20:31,205
Everybody in the house seems...
395
00:20:32,539 --> 00:20:35,510
nice, but with that many
dysfunctional people...
396
00:20:35,675 --> 00:20:36,777
To new friends!
397
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,146
...get ready.
398
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:39,746
Drama, she's coming.
399
00:20:40,014 --> 00:20:41,883
- How do you even do that?
- (laughs)
400
00:20:42,016 --> 00:20:44,385
- (groans)
- Nevin: No. Come on!
401
00:20:44,519 --> 00:20:46,320
(groans)
402
00:20:46,586 --> 00:20:48,356
- (laughs)
- What's up, guys?
403
00:20:48,489 --> 00:20:51,092
Don't forget, vote for Ximena.
(clicks tongue) Kisses.
404
00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:52,894
Right.
Maybe a half an hour in heaven
405
00:20:53,027 --> 00:20:55,363
before the Devil knows
your dead. Vote Headstone.
406
00:20:55,496 --> 00:20:56,464
Vote Lonni. (chuckles)
407
00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:59,867
(laughs) Vote Dex, yo.
408
00:21:00,001 --> 00:21:02,336
Vote Ula La More.
You won't regret it.
409
00:21:02,503 --> 00:21:03,670
See you tomorrow.
410
00:21:03,905 --> 00:21:05,139
In the future,
I'm reading the contracts,
411
00:21:05,273 --> 00:21:07,574
that much I can tell you.
Uh, vote Nevin.
412
00:21:07,809 --> 00:21:09,077
I'll probably talk
413
00:21:09,210 --> 00:21:10,577
about something
more interesting next time.
414
00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:11,946
Vote Cat.
415
00:21:12,246 --> 00:21:16,150
Sorry about the joke.
Um, vote for me, anyway.
416
00:21:16,851 --> 00:21:19,954
- Show me that. Yes.
- Why?
417
00:21:20,254 --> 00:21:23,858
- The dude's Swedish.
- And?
418
00:21:24,425 --> 00:21:25,860
Hey, everybody. I'm Pete Sake,
419
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:28,029
bringing you the best
of the worst to the web.
420
00:21:28,296 --> 00:21:31,032
Up first, the new reality
show abomination
421
00:21:31,165 --> 00:21:33,800
everyone's talking about,
Furcas's House of Fun,
422
00:21:33,935 --> 00:21:35,735
featuring
eight former celebrities,
423
00:21:35,970 --> 00:21:38,139
aka fame whores,
competing to see
424
00:21:38,306 --> 00:21:40,074
who can be the most
cringeworthy,
425
00:21:40,208 --> 00:21:43,311
all the while facing off
for five million dollars.
426
00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:45,513
Something tells me this crew
is gonna make anyone
427
00:21:45,645 --> 00:21:49,016
who actually ate a Tide Pod
feel like a Rhodes scholar.
428
00:21:49,584 --> 00:21:50,717
Should be fun.
429
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,021
So, you're from Boston, huh?
430
00:21:54,589 --> 00:21:57,558
I'm from Grand Rapids,
Michigan, originally.
431
00:21:57,724 --> 00:21:59,759
Went to Boston U
for four years, though.
432
00:22:00,328 --> 00:22:01,262
What did you take?
433
00:22:01,761 --> 00:22:05,900
I am the proud owner of a degree
in Elizabethan literature.
434
00:22:06,100 --> 00:22:08,136
Oh, wow. That's cool.
435
00:22:08,668 --> 00:22:10,737
Cool if you want
a Shakespeare quote.
436
00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:14,242
Not so cool if you want a job
that pays actual money.
437
00:22:14,609 --> 00:22:17,178
(scoffs) Seems to be a lot
of that going around here.
438
00:22:18,913 --> 00:22:21,516
So you are the bride-to-be.
439
00:22:21,681 --> 00:22:23,584
Lonni: That's my claim to fame.
440
00:22:23,885 --> 00:22:26,320
- Or, rather, infamy.
- (chuckles)
441
00:22:27,121 --> 00:22:29,323
Yeah, well, I can relate.
442
00:22:31,392 --> 00:22:33,194
(James singing)
443
00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:39,834
(laughs) I thought
I heard voices out here.
444
00:22:39,967 --> 00:22:43,171
My kind of people, huh?
Night owls. I'll bartend.
445
00:22:43,571 --> 00:22:46,474
Well, I'm more of a rooster
these days,
446
00:22:46,641 --> 00:22:48,708
so, you two have at it.
447
00:22:49,343 --> 00:22:51,812
- Oh, no. Ugh, no.
- (chuckles softly)
448
00:22:53,713 --> 00:22:56,150
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Kasper,
where the hell are you going?
449
00:22:56,384 --> 00:22:59,453
- Oi, it's time for a drink.
- I think I'm also
450
00:22:59,854 --> 00:23:01,455
a little bit more of a rooster
myself.
451
00:23:02,456 --> 00:23:05,326
Roosters? No, no, fuck roosters.
All right? Fuck 'em.
452
00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:06,693
Night owls fly down
453
00:23:06,827 --> 00:23:08,829
with their claws
and kill roosters.
454
00:23:09,463 --> 00:23:11,165
And then eat them.
455
00:23:12,233 --> 00:23:13,800
Well, when you put like that.
456
00:23:17,305 --> 00:23:18,839
- (glass clinking)
- Ooh. (chuckles)
457
00:23:19,006 --> 00:23:21,042
- (glasses thud)
- Thank you.
458
00:23:28,282 --> 00:23:29,183
Cheers.
459
00:23:30,451 --> 00:23:33,254
The bold will die,
as will the strong.
460
00:23:33,854 --> 00:23:35,923
As legends, we go on.
461
00:23:36,756 --> 00:23:39,126
- Wait. What... what was that?
- What?
462
00:23:39,927 --> 00:23:42,029
- What did you say?
- What?
463
00:23:42,530 --> 00:23:43,730
What are you talking about?
464
00:23:43,864 --> 00:23:45,466
It was a toast
my father used to say.
465
00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:48,603
My father was a hard man.
466
00:23:49,237 --> 00:23:51,973
But he made me
the man I am today...
467
00:23:53,341 --> 00:23:55,576
by beating the ever-living shite
out of me
468
00:23:55,742 --> 00:23:57,278
every day he was alive.
469
00:23:58,346 --> 00:24:00,014
(laughs)
470
00:24:02,550 --> 00:24:05,453
Anyway... (clears throat)
...repeat after me.
471
00:24:06,053 --> 00:24:08,122
- The bold will die.
- The bold will die.
472
00:24:08,256 --> 00:24:10,024
- As will the strong.
- As will the strong.
473
00:24:10,157 --> 00:24:13,261
- As legends we go on.
- As legends we go on.
474
00:24:13,594 --> 00:24:15,029
- Slainte.
- Skoal.
475
00:24:20,468 --> 00:24:21,369
(exhales)
476
00:24:22,069 --> 00:24:23,170
(inhales deeply)
477
00:24:24,472 --> 00:24:25,373
(sniffs)
478
00:24:30,878 --> 00:24:32,513
Are you a friendly ghost,
Casper?
479
00:24:33,381 --> 00:24:35,182
Kasper: Actually,
it's Kasper with a K.
480
00:24:35,516 --> 00:24:38,252
We didn't really
have that cartoon in Sweden.
481
00:24:39,587 --> 00:24:42,490
We had The Moomins, though.
You should check that out.
482
00:24:43,224 --> 00:24:46,027
So, why do they call you
Headstone?
483
00:24:52,633 --> 00:24:54,535
(whispering) Because I put
people into the earth.
484
00:24:55,703 --> 00:24:57,238
Lay them to rest, so to speak.
485
00:24:58,439 --> 00:24:59,440
Fair enough.
486
00:25:00,107 --> 00:25:01,909
And because it rhymes
with Malone.
487
00:25:03,444 --> 00:25:04,378
It does.
488
00:25:06,013 --> 00:25:07,915
Also,
I have an extremely hard head.
489
00:25:09,483 --> 00:25:10,384
Okay.
490
00:25:10,951 --> 00:25:14,955
So, it's a... a triple entendre
when you think about it, right?
491
00:25:15,156 --> 00:25:17,258
- (chuckles)
- I... I got it.
492
00:25:20,795 --> 00:25:23,297
- Right. Slainte!
- Skoal!
493
00:25:23,831 --> 00:25:24,732
What?
494
00:25:25,166 --> 00:25:27,435
- Just drink.
- Fair enough.
495
00:25:30,738 --> 00:25:31,906
(sighs)
496
00:25:34,442 --> 00:25:37,044
(sighs) They don't have any
fucking beer around here.
497
00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:44,018
Dex: And that's why you always
get a Fluffer, okay?
498
00:25:44,151 --> 00:25:46,287
I will make a note of that.
Yeah.
499
00:25:46,420 --> 00:25:49,390
(chuckles) Hey, my man,
you know what happened
500
00:25:49,523 --> 00:25:51,492
in the fútbol match
Colo-Colo y La U?
501
00:25:52,693 --> 00:25:56,832
Hey. Do you speak Spanish?
Fútbol, you know?
502
00:25:57,264 --> 00:25:59,934
Oh, I got it, I got it.
It's soccer, isn't it?
503
00:26:00,134 --> 00:26:01,268
You know about soccer?
504
00:26:01,402 --> 00:26:02,804
Why do some people
call it soccer
505
00:26:02,937 --> 00:26:03,904
and some football?
506
00:26:04,205 --> 00:26:06,407
- Never understood that.
- (chuckles)
507
00:26:06,607 --> 00:26:10,812
- (device chiming)
- Furcas: Hello, everyone.
508
00:26:11,379 --> 00:26:12,947
Furcas, how are you doing, mate?
509
00:26:13,180 --> 00:26:16,484
Congratulations on making it
through the first three days
510
00:26:16,617 --> 00:26:18,018
in the Funhouse.
511
00:26:18,252 --> 00:26:21,055
I see friendships were made,
some more than others.
512
00:26:21,188 --> 00:26:22,690
There were some tense moments,
513
00:26:22,824 --> 00:26:25,559
but all in all, it looked
like everyone's had fun,
514
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:27,461
and that's the name
of the game.
515
00:26:27,928 --> 00:26:30,398
But now, the votes are in,
and, unfortunately,
516
00:26:30,531 --> 00:26:33,067
for one of you,
it's time to say goodbye.
517
00:26:33,334 --> 00:26:36,137
So, without further ado,
let's find out who.
518
00:26:36,637 --> 00:26:38,305
- (device whirrs, beeps)
- Let's go.
519
00:26:38,672 --> 00:26:40,508
(drumroll)
520
00:26:44,111 --> 00:26:45,146
Come on. Come on.
521
00:26:45,279 --> 00:26:47,915
Yeah! Go, Dex! Go, Dex! Go, Dex!
522
00:26:48,349 --> 00:26:49,650
Furcas: Well, there we have it.
523
00:26:49,784 --> 00:26:51,252
You fucking won.
524
00:26:51,952 --> 00:26:54,255
Three percent.
What in the actual fuck?
525
00:26:54,422 --> 00:26:56,190
Furcas:
Ula taking an early lead.
526
00:26:56,357 --> 00:26:59,026
Looks like turning off
the blur feature in the shower
527
00:26:59,193 --> 00:27:00,428
really helped your cause.
528
00:27:00,761 --> 00:27:03,230
Cat with a strong second,
followed by Dex,
529
00:27:03,431 --> 00:27:06,567
Headstone, Kasper,
and Ximena, a tight race.
530
00:27:07,101 --> 00:27:08,502
Then we have Lonni and Nevin.
531
00:27:08,837 --> 00:27:11,439
But because your votes
are within one percent,
532
00:27:11,572 --> 00:27:13,474
you'll both have to undergo
a challenge
533
00:27:13,607 --> 00:27:15,643
to see who makes it
to the next round.
534
00:27:15,844 --> 00:27:18,712
So, let's just see
what your challenge shall be.
535
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:21,015
Piñata Party!
536
00:27:22,483 --> 00:27:23,651
- Ximena: What?
- (chuckles)
537
00:27:23,951 --> 00:27:25,453
- Yo, that's racist.
- A little.
538
00:27:25,619 --> 00:27:27,988
Furcas: Lonni, Nevin,
please follow the helper
539
00:27:28,122 --> 00:27:30,090
- to your first challenge.
- Well...
540
00:27:30,257 --> 00:27:32,126
- (device whirrs)
- ...let's get this over with.
541
00:27:35,196 --> 00:27:36,664
Ximena: Bye-bye.
542
00:27:41,803 --> 00:27:43,304
It's because I'm a Limey,
isn't that it?
543
00:27:43,471 --> 00:27:45,306
Yeah, colonialism,
that's what it is.
544
00:27:45,439 --> 00:27:47,174
All right,
you bamboo-munching Muppet,
545
00:27:47,308 --> 00:27:49,977
lets' go. I'll let this happen,
but this is bullshit.
546
00:27:50,144 --> 00:27:52,046
Yeah, number one bullshit.
547
00:27:53,414 --> 00:27:54,916
It ain't 'cause he's British.
548
00:27:55,149 --> 00:27:57,886
It's because he bitches
all the time.
549
00:27:58,152 --> 00:27:59,453
People don't like whiny shit.
550
00:28:00,454 --> 00:28:03,224
But you know what people
do like is T&A.
551
00:28:03,457 --> 00:28:04,960
- Dex: Yeah, boy.
- Excuse me?
552
00:28:05,159 --> 00:28:06,962
Oh, nothing. I'm just saying.
553
00:28:07,528 --> 00:28:09,865
Well, I'm just saying,
show them if you got them.
554
00:28:10,064 --> 00:28:11,432
Oh, yes, girl, I got them.
555
00:28:11,833 --> 00:28:13,767
And everything you see
is a 100 percent real.
556
00:28:14,134 --> 00:28:15,369
People voted for me
557
00:28:15,503 --> 00:28:16,938
- because I'm a nice person.
- (laughs)
558
00:28:17,137 --> 00:28:20,307
- I'm likeable, bitch.
- Ooh.
559
00:28:20,474 --> 00:28:22,309
Ximena: No, babe,
they voted for you
560
00:28:22,443 --> 00:28:24,946
because you showered naked
in front of millions of people.
561
00:28:25,579 --> 00:28:28,148
But whatever,
that's real classy, ho.
562
00:28:28,850 --> 00:28:30,351
James: Oh, whoa, whoa.
563
00:28:31,051 --> 00:28:32,186
(device chiming)
564
00:28:32,386 --> 00:28:34,221
- I like you still a lot.
- I know.
565
00:28:34,622 --> 00:28:38,259
For the rest of you lucky few,
to the Witness Room you go.
566
00:28:39,460 --> 00:28:41,161
- Come on.
- James: Here we go.
567
00:28:42,196 --> 00:28:43,697
Kasper: (sighs)
Let's fucking go.
568
00:28:43,832 --> 00:28:44,765
I'll take that with me.
569
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:47,501
(sighs)
570
00:29:01,282 --> 00:29:06,420
- (door creaks)
- (lock clicks)
571
00:29:08,756 --> 00:29:09,690
(chuckles)
572
00:29:10,724 --> 00:29:13,260
They must have ran out of cash
for this part of the house, huh?
573
00:29:13,494 --> 00:29:15,830
In procession, man. (laughs)
574
00:29:21,268 --> 00:29:23,304
- Nice decor.
- (back thumps)
575
00:29:28,944 --> 00:29:30,144
Dex: Oh, shit.
576
00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:33,747
- Fucking move there.
- (chuckles)
577
00:29:34,248 --> 00:29:35,749
- Holy moly.
- (James scoffs)
578
00:29:36,051 --> 00:29:37,251
What they got in there?
579
00:29:37,551 --> 00:29:39,386
Listen, what is this house?
I can't see shit.
580
00:29:39,787 --> 00:29:41,488
What is this? Is it like
a peep show or something?
581
00:29:41,622 --> 00:29:42,824
- (Dex laughs)
- James: Oh, shit.
582
00:29:42,958 --> 00:29:44,425
Too bad Ula's on the wrong side.
583
00:29:44,558 --> 00:29:47,127
- Ooh!
- Funny, bitch.
584
00:29:47,294 --> 00:29:48,562
(Ximena laughs)
585
00:29:49,898 --> 00:29:53,300
- (contestants cheer)
- (Kasper whistling)
586
00:29:53,467 --> 00:29:54,735
- Dex: El Shocker!
- James: One...
587
00:29:57,271 --> 00:29:58,873
- Get it, girl.
- Come on, Lonni.
588
00:29:59,139 --> 00:30:00,240
(door closes)
589
00:30:05,646 --> 00:30:07,015
- Team Lonni.
- Whoo!
590
00:30:07,147 --> 00:30:08,616
- Yeah, you go, girl.
- (chuckles)
591
00:30:13,922 --> 00:30:17,691
Hello, Lonni, are you ready
for your first challenge?
592
00:30:17,892 --> 00:30:21,328
- Let's do this.
- This is going to be fun.
593
00:30:23,230 --> 00:30:25,066
That should be Ximena's
challenge.
594
00:30:25,232 --> 00:30:26,433
I'm sure she's a pro.
595
00:30:26,634 --> 00:30:28,369
I wouldn't be talking
about pros, babe.
596
00:30:28,702 --> 00:30:29,971
Just 'cause you're not
on a corner
597
00:30:30,105 --> 00:30:31,205
doesn't mean you're not selling.
598
00:30:31,405 --> 00:30:32,606
(Contestants exclaim)
599
00:30:32,941 --> 00:30:34,608
Oh, don't worry about that.
Don't worry about that.
600
00:30:34,775 --> 00:30:36,610
Furcas:
The challenge is quite simple.
601
00:30:36,744 --> 00:30:40,648
You must break open the piñata
and retrieve what's inside.
602
00:30:40,915 --> 00:30:44,986
Then using an identical piñata,
Nevin will do the same.
603
00:30:45,152 --> 00:30:49,189
Whoever's fastest, wins.
Good luck to you.
604
00:30:49,723 --> 00:30:50,591
(device whirrs)
605
00:30:50,925 --> 00:30:53,560
- Dex: This is fine. It's fine.
- Easy one.
606
00:30:54,829 --> 00:30:56,397
- Dex: Go, Lonni.
- James: Give her the bat.
607
00:30:56,831 --> 00:30:58,232
They didn't even give her
the bat.
608
00:30:58,365 --> 00:30:59,600
Ula: The piñata's going away.
609
00:31:04,304 --> 00:31:06,340
- Very funny, guys.
- (chuckles)
610
00:31:06,507 --> 00:31:08,709
- Dex: What the fuck?
- Ula: Wow!
611
00:31:09,476 --> 00:31:10,812
- James: Is that Nevin?
- (Contestants clamor)
612
00:31:11,012 --> 00:31:13,247
James: He's got a fucking gag
in his mouth.
613
00:31:16,051 --> 00:31:17,217
(groans)
614
00:31:17,418 --> 00:31:18,987
- (Contestants clamor)
- What the fuck?
615
00:31:19,553 --> 00:31:21,056
- This is a joke.
- Well, what if...
616
00:31:21,455 --> 00:31:24,458
(carnival music playing)
617
00:31:28,796 --> 00:31:30,297
- Oh, hey, hey, hey.
- (chuckles)
618
00:31:30,464 --> 00:31:32,700
- No, for real. Lonni.
- Ximena: Lonni, stop!
619
00:31:35,736 --> 00:31:37,138
- Lonni!
- Dex: It's fake.
620
00:31:37,304 --> 00:31:39,773
You guys are so gullible, man.
Relax.
621
00:31:43,878 --> 00:31:44,578
- No!
- Fuck.
622
00:31:44,712 --> 00:31:45,914
- What the fuck?
- Lonni!
623
00:31:46,147 --> 00:31:47,281
(bat thuds)
624
00:31:49,550 --> 00:31:50,718
Ximena: Stop!
625
00:31:52,252 --> 00:31:53,654
No, stop!
626
00:31:54,488 --> 00:31:55,857
- Dammit!
- (bat thuds)
627
00:31:57,224 --> 00:31:58,358
James: Hey!
628
00:31:59,060 --> 00:31:59,994
Stop it, man!
629
00:32:00,895 --> 00:32:01,896
(bat thuds)
630
00:32:02,229 --> 00:32:03,731
- Turn that off! Turn that...
- No. No, no, no.
631
00:32:03,865 --> 00:32:05,399
- Yeah, no.
- College Girl: That's crazy.
632
00:32:05,532 --> 00:32:06,767
College Dude 1: Relax.
Like, it's not even real.
633
00:32:06,901 --> 00:32:08,635
No! Lonni!
634
00:32:13,540 --> 00:32:14,775
Furcas: Well done, Lonni.
635
00:32:14,976 --> 00:32:17,377
You can take off
your goggles now.
636
00:32:24,451 --> 00:32:26,587
- (screams)
- (bat clatters)
637
00:32:26,787 --> 00:32:29,523
- (screams)
- This is fucked.
638
00:32:30,257 --> 00:32:31,759
Oh, my God!
639
00:32:34,394 --> 00:32:35,529
(sobs)
640
00:32:36,697 --> 00:32:37,698
(sobs)
641
00:32:38,766 --> 00:32:41,535
(screams)
642
00:32:42,971 --> 00:32:44,438
- (Ximena sobs)
- Cat: This isn't happening.
643
00:32:44,571 --> 00:32:46,306
- Kasper: Where's he going?
- (Ximena sobs)
644
00:32:46,573 --> 00:32:48,109
- (mouthing) Fuck.
- (mouthing) Come on!
645
00:32:48,308 --> 00:32:49,777
Wasn't that fun?
646
00:32:50,145 --> 00:32:51,445
(sobs)
647
00:32:51,578 --> 00:32:53,882
What the fuck is going on here?
648
00:32:54,314 --> 00:32:55,482
Isn't it obvious?
649
00:32:55,716 --> 00:32:57,484
Kasper: Who are you?
What is this place?
650
00:32:59,020 --> 00:33:00,822
What the fuck are you?
651
00:33:02,756 --> 00:33:04,358
The question is not what am I?
652
00:33:04,758 --> 00:33:06,995
But it's what are you?
All of you?
653
00:33:07,128 --> 00:33:08,362
I wanna go home.
654
00:33:08,562 --> 00:33:11,665
Nero: Now, see, Ula,
this is your home now,
655
00:33:11,866 --> 00:33:13,935
except only one of you
will ever leave.
656
00:33:14,102 --> 00:33:17,205
- James: Ximena, come on!
- Why are you doing this?
657
00:33:17,337 --> 00:33:19,439
All will be revealed
in due time.
658
00:33:19,740 --> 00:33:22,110
But until then you will
continue to live in the house,
659
00:33:22,243 --> 00:33:25,379
until another vote is tallied
and another challenge is met.
660
00:33:25,646 --> 00:33:28,549
If you refuse to participate,
if you try to escape,
661
00:33:28,782 --> 00:33:30,885
if you do not comply
in any way,
662
00:33:31,052 --> 00:33:33,320
a fate far worse
than Nevin's awaits,
663
00:33:33,453 --> 00:33:34,388
I assure you.
664
00:33:34,521 --> 00:33:36,090
The horror and the pain
665
00:33:36,257 --> 00:33:39,260
will be unlike anything
you could possibly imagine.
666
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,196
So, you must complete
your obligation
667
00:33:41,328 --> 00:33:45,365
and finish what you've started.
So, put on a happy face!
668
00:33:45,900 --> 00:33:47,601
Get the audience on your side!
669
00:33:47,936 --> 00:33:49,736
Win their hearts,
and more importantly,
670
00:33:49,871 --> 00:33:52,472
their votes, for your fate
is in their hands.
671
00:33:52,841 --> 00:33:56,144
Now, would you all please
kindly adjourn to the Funhouse?
672
00:33:56,410 --> 00:33:58,980
Have yourselves a drink.
You've earned it.
673
00:33:59,580 --> 00:34:01,983
- Especially you, Lonni.
- (Lonni screaming)
674
00:34:03,550 --> 00:34:05,652
Up next, Furcas's House of Fun,
675
00:34:05,820 --> 00:34:08,488
or what is now simply beingcalled Funhouse,
676
00:34:08,622 --> 00:34:10,124
turned into a nightmare
last night,
677
00:34:10,325 --> 00:34:13,094
when famed YouTube diva,
Nevin Eversmith
678
00:34:13,228 --> 00:34:14,595
was beaten to death
679
00:34:14,728 --> 00:34:17,598
by season 18 bride-to-be,
Lonni Byrne.
680
00:34:17,798 --> 00:34:19,834
Personally,
the only nightmare I see here,
681
00:34:19,968 --> 00:34:22,070
is that people are actually
eating up this shit
682
00:34:22,203 --> 00:34:24,538
and asking for seconds.
I mean, sure,
683
00:34:24,671 --> 00:34:26,941
I've wanted to use Nevin
as a human piñata,
684
00:34:27,075 --> 00:34:28,609
and beat him
with a spiked baseball bat,
685
00:34:28,742 --> 00:34:30,011
but who hasn't?
686
00:34:30,178 --> 00:34:31,445
And unfortunately,
I'd go to jail.
687
00:34:31,578 --> 00:34:33,547
Sorry, Funhouse, not buying it.
688
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:34,883
(police sirens blaring)
689
00:34:36,617 --> 00:34:38,619
I accept thee
as my Lord and Savior...
690
00:34:39,653 --> 00:34:42,389
assured of thy mercy
as long as I may live.
691
00:34:42,857 --> 00:34:45,459
Oh, Holy God.
Oh, Holy Death, Holy.
692
00:34:45,692 --> 00:34:48,830
So, what're we gonna do, huh?
Let's get the fuck out.
693
00:34:48,963 --> 00:34:50,999
This is online.
The cops had to see that.
694
00:34:51,132 --> 00:34:53,067
Do you see
any cameras here, huh?
695
00:34:53,201 --> 00:34:54,401
Slowdown. Just relax.
696
00:34:54,701 --> 00:34:57,471
Relax? Did you see
what just fucking happened?
697
00:34:57,604 --> 00:34:59,773
- She murdered Nevin, man!
- Shut up!
698
00:35:00,141 --> 00:35:02,143
Nobody murdered anybody!
She didn't even fucking know.
699
00:35:02,277 --> 00:35:04,879
Whatever, it doesn't matter.
Let's go.
700
00:35:06,814 --> 00:35:09,483
Hey. Hey.
There's a way out of here.
701
00:35:09,851 --> 00:35:11,252
I can see the fucking sky.
702
00:35:11,386 --> 00:35:13,687
Are you deaf, you fucker, huh?
703
00:35:13,821 --> 00:35:15,189
Did you not hear what he said?
704
00:35:15,422 --> 00:35:18,192
We break the window, we climb,
and we fucking run.
705
00:35:19,060 --> 00:35:20,361
This ain't no plexiglass,
trust me.
706
00:35:20,527 --> 00:35:22,030
Just chill. We've gotta think.
707
00:35:22,163 --> 00:35:24,498
Hey! You stay if you want.
I'm out.
708
00:35:24,999 --> 00:35:26,935
Maybe he's right.
It looks like a way out.
709
00:35:27,201 --> 00:35:28,502
We can't just sit here.
710
00:35:28,735 --> 00:35:30,939
- He's watching us.
- Oh, yeah? Let's find out.
711
00:35:31,072 --> 00:35:33,107
- Kasper: No!
- Hey, you fucking, fuck...
712
00:35:35,810 --> 00:35:37,979
- Watch this, you fuckers!
- No!
713
00:35:49,257 --> 00:35:51,092
(electricity crackles)
714
00:35:51,792 --> 00:35:52,793
It's a projection.
715
00:35:53,027 --> 00:35:54,295
- No, shit.
- (alarm blaring)
716
00:35:54,829 --> 00:35:58,099
- What is this place?
- This place is your home.
717
00:35:58,299 --> 00:36:00,034
And I was very clear
on what would happen
718
00:36:00,201 --> 00:36:01,735
if you tried to leave.
719
00:36:01,970 --> 00:36:04,705
Unfortunately, Dex has now
forfeited his spot in the house
720
00:36:04,839 --> 00:36:08,242
and will no longer be eligible
for the five million dollars.
721
00:36:08,608 --> 00:36:09,811
Ximena: (sobbing) Oh, no.
722
00:36:12,213 --> 00:36:13,680
Dex, kindly
723
00:36:13,815 --> 00:36:15,183
- follow them, please.
- Dex: What are you gonna do?
724
00:36:15,316 --> 00:36:17,285
- You gonna shoot me, huh? Huh?
- (guns cock)
725
00:36:17,452 --> 00:36:18,585
- (gunshot)
- (Dex groans)
726
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:22,522
- (screams)
- (sobs) No, please.
727
00:36:22,723 --> 00:36:24,025
Dex: (groans) Fuck!
728
00:36:24,926 --> 00:36:29,629
- (groans)
- Dex! Dex!
729
00:36:30,630 --> 00:36:32,532
- (Dex groaning)
- (inhales sharply)
730
00:36:32,666 --> 00:36:33,901
(Ximena sobs)
731
00:36:38,306 --> 00:36:39,240
(device whirrs)
732
00:36:42,010 --> 00:36:46,114
(whimpers) Please... help me!
733
00:36:47,781 --> 00:36:52,020
Mother of God, please. Please.
734
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:55,655
My God, what's happening? (sobs)
735
00:36:57,691 --> 00:36:58,893
(cries)
736
00:36:59,927 --> 00:37:02,096
- Please!
- What is that shit?
737
00:37:03,197 --> 00:37:06,034
That shit
is fluoroantimonic acid.
738
00:37:06,434 --> 00:37:08,302
It's an inorganic compound
created
739
00:37:08,436 --> 00:37:12,273
by reacting hydrogen fluoride
with antimonic pentafluoride.
740
00:37:12,606 --> 00:37:15,143
According to the Hammett
acidity function,
741
00:37:15,309 --> 00:37:17,979
it's the most corrosive
substance on earth.
742
00:37:18,146 --> 00:37:20,381
When mixed with water,
the chemical reaction
743
00:37:20,515 --> 00:37:23,418
will dissolve flesh and bone
within minutes.
744
00:37:23,951 --> 00:37:27,221
- Have fun with that, Dex!
- Dex: Wait!
745
00:37:28,089 --> 00:37:30,690
- James: They're not doing that.
- Ximena: Oh. (sobs)
746
00:37:30,925 --> 00:37:32,193
(Cat coughs, gasps)
747
00:37:33,727 --> 00:37:36,397
- (gasps)
- (screams)
748
00:37:36,563 --> 00:37:38,598
Oh, my God!
749
00:37:38,765 --> 00:37:43,603
(screams)
750
00:37:45,006 --> 00:37:46,673
- (screams)
- (chains rattling)
751
00:37:51,711 --> 00:37:53,181
News Anchor:
A horrific spectacle
752
00:37:53,314 --> 00:37:54,949
has been unfolding
on the internet this week,
753
00:37:55,083 --> 00:37:56,918
broadcasting live to the world.
754
00:37:57,051 --> 00:37:58,618
News Anchor 1:
Authorities have yet to comment
755
00:37:58,752 --> 00:38:00,354
on the video's authenticity.
756
00:38:00,521 --> 00:38:02,256
News Anchor 2: What started
as an online reality series
757
00:38:02,390 --> 00:38:03,991
is now a nightmare for a group.
758
00:38:04,125 --> 00:38:06,327
News anchor 3: What appears
to be a macabre contest,
759
00:38:06,461 --> 00:38:08,896
eight celebrities compete
to survive...
760
00:38:09,030 --> 00:38:11,332
And what we know so far,
is that the eight contestants
761
00:38:11,466 --> 00:38:13,733
flew into Los Angeles
four days ago,
762
00:38:13,868 --> 00:38:15,136
and then vanished.
763
00:38:15,436 --> 00:38:18,139
Whether a sadistic game
or an elaborate hoax,
764
00:38:18,272 --> 00:38:20,875
the show's popularity
continues to skyrocket
765
00:38:21,042 --> 00:38:23,677
even after two people
have allegedly been murdered.
766
00:38:23,878 --> 00:38:26,547
Authorities are currently
trying to locate the source
767
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:29,884
of what has now been confirmed
to be a live video feed
768
00:38:30,051 --> 00:38:31,519
from inside the house.
769
00:38:31,651 --> 00:38:33,087
(flesh sizzles)
770
00:38:34,822 --> 00:38:35,890
(groans)
771
00:38:37,391 --> 00:38:38,792
Just kill him already!
772
00:38:38,926 --> 00:38:41,195
Furcas: Oh,
I'm sure he's on his last legs.
773
00:38:41,429 --> 00:38:45,867
No! (gasps, pants)
774
00:38:49,403 --> 00:38:51,873
So, take a good look
and understand this,
775
00:38:52,073 --> 00:38:54,575
which now I reiterate
for the second time.
776
00:38:54,842 --> 00:38:56,210
There will be no heroes here.
777
00:38:56,477 --> 00:39:00,281
No fantastical plans to escape.
No happy ending.
778
00:39:00,414 --> 00:39:03,351
If you don't play the game
and abide by its rules,
779
00:39:03,683 --> 00:39:05,253
this will be your fate.
780
00:39:05,453 --> 00:39:08,788
But rest assured, next time
it won't be as quick and easy.
781
00:39:09,157 --> 00:39:12,260
You can expect much more pain.
Much more suffering.
782
00:39:12,527 --> 00:39:14,929
So, focus your energies
on accumulating votes,
783
00:39:15,463 --> 00:39:18,199
for it is the only way
out of here.
784
00:39:19,799 --> 00:39:24,038
Hey, kids. The word of the day
is fluoroantimonic acid.
785
00:39:24,272 --> 00:39:25,907
And our good, ole pal,
El Shocker,
786
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:27,208
took one hell of a bath.
787
00:39:27,341 --> 00:39:28,976
♪ El Shocker, El Shocker ♪
788
00:39:29,110 --> 00:39:30,378
- Really?
- Man: You know.
789
00:39:30,511 --> 00:39:31,979
I mean,
I can create a better CG
790
00:39:32,113 --> 00:39:33,648
with my Instagram filters.
791
00:39:33,780 --> 00:39:35,950
- Man: Then what?
- Fake!
792
00:39:37,852 --> 00:39:39,420
This can't be happening to me.
793
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:41,956
Ximena: Well, I hate
to break it to you, girl...
794
00:39:42,789 --> 00:39:44,125
because it's happening
to all of us.
795
00:39:44,458 --> 00:39:46,527
Not just
to poor, little Miss Instagram.
796
00:39:46,661 --> 00:39:47,828
But look at the bright side.
797
00:39:48,462 --> 00:39:51,199
You and the twins are racking up
millions of followers by now.
798
00:39:51,332 --> 00:39:52,833
- Fuck you.
- Ximena: What's up?
799
00:39:53,067 --> 00:39:54,502
You don't like the exposure?
800
00:39:54,801 --> 00:39:56,003
Isn't that how you make
a living?
801
00:39:56,370 --> 00:39:58,339
Showing your tits and ass
for the world to see.
802
00:39:58,472 --> 00:40:00,875
Yeah, and you blog about her
showing her tits and ass,
803
00:40:01,075 --> 00:40:02,776
and about me, and Lonni,
and anyone else
804
00:40:02,910 --> 00:40:04,345
you feel so inclined
to lie about.
805
00:40:04,478 --> 00:40:07,114
I don't lie, man.
I report the news you make
806
00:40:07,248 --> 00:40:08,715
by doing stupid ass shit.
807
00:40:08,849 --> 00:40:10,251
Kasper: Stupid ass shit
like living my life?
808
00:40:10,451 --> 00:40:12,220
You love to watch people
crash and burn,
809
00:40:12,353 --> 00:40:15,122
- and you fucking exploit it.
- I give people what they want.
810
00:40:15,890 --> 00:40:20,027
I give people a closer look
into the fake fucking lives
811
00:40:20,194 --> 00:40:21,996
that you choose
to show the world.
812
00:40:22,563 --> 00:40:23,763
That's what I do.
813
00:40:24,865 --> 00:40:26,467
Dex and Nevin are dead.
814
00:40:28,169 --> 00:40:30,871
And you're bickering
about this bullshit?
815
00:40:32,273 --> 00:40:35,343
- You people are insane.
- James: And annoying as fuck.
816
00:40:35,509 --> 00:40:37,311
Now, I think all of youse
need a time-out.
817
00:40:37,545 --> 00:40:42,316
Now, who wants a drink?
I'm buying. Kaz? Come on.
818
00:40:46,854 --> 00:40:49,690
(thunder rumbling)
819
00:40:49,824 --> 00:40:51,758
Kasper: I don't know
if anyone is watching...
820
00:40:52,727 --> 00:40:55,896
or if this is some sick game.
821
00:40:57,698 --> 00:40:58,833
Or a nightmare.
822
00:40:59,267 --> 00:41:04,138
How is anybody expected to speak
after witnessing that?
823
00:41:04,639 --> 00:41:06,240
You know,
I've seen a lot of crazy shite
824
00:41:06,374 --> 00:41:09,043
in my life,
but, uh, this takes the cake.
825
00:41:09,243 --> 00:41:11,778
Please, somebody help us.
826
00:41:12,079 --> 00:41:13,881
I saw them die.
827
00:41:15,082 --> 00:41:16,517
We don't deserve this.
828
00:41:16,717 --> 00:41:20,254
We're still people with a soul,
and we're still human beings.
829
00:41:20,621 --> 00:41:21,889
I don't wanna die.
830
00:41:22,290 --> 00:41:26,193
To Nevin's family,
I didn't know. I'm so sorry.
831
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:28,429
I have one thing
to say to you, Furcas.
832
00:41:29,830 --> 00:41:31,032
Go to hell.
833
00:41:31,399 --> 00:41:32,133
Fuck you.
834
00:41:32,266 --> 00:41:34,935
You cowardly piece of shite.
835
00:41:35,736 --> 00:41:36,837
Goodbye.
836
00:41:40,441 --> 00:41:41,375
(sobs)
837
00:41:44,178 --> 00:41:46,547
And now, for a unique
perspective on these events,
838
00:41:46,747 --> 00:41:49,984
we turn to Grammy Award-winning
pop artist, Darla Drake,
839
00:41:50,151 --> 00:41:51,585
who was once married
to Kasper Nordin,
840
00:41:51,919 --> 00:41:54,555
one of the contestants
currently inside the house.
841
00:41:54,689 --> 00:41:57,124
Darla, thank you for joining us
during what I'm sure
842
00:41:57,258 --> 00:41:58,859
is an extremely difficult time.
843
00:41:59,327 --> 00:42:01,862
I just can't believe something
like this is happening.
844
00:42:02,697 --> 00:42:05,900
It's... it's beyond words.
845
00:42:09,136 --> 00:42:11,238
To the people
who are doing this...
846
00:42:11,372 --> 00:42:13,107
Kasper is a good man.
847
00:42:14,508 --> 00:42:16,510
He's never done anything
to hurt anyone.
848
00:42:17,078 --> 00:42:18,379
None of these people have.
849
00:42:19,547 --> 00:42:22,883
Please, if you're listening,
just let them go.
850
00:42:23,684 --> 00:42:24,919
And also, to the public
851
00:42:25,086 --> 00:42:26,587
who is watching
and voting on this.
852
00:42:26,721 --> 00:42:29,290
These are people's lives
that you're playing with.
853
00:42:29,623 --> 00:42:31,225
You have to stop
perpetuating this.
854
00:42:31,392 --> 00:42:33,427
Somebody has to stop this.
855
00:42:34,595 --> 00:42:37,833
But what if their votes,
or your vote,
856
00:42:37,965 --> 00:42:39,567
could help save Kasper?
857
00:43:08,295 --> 00:43:13,067
So, an Irishman, a Mexican,
a Filipino, a Swede,
858
00:43:13,334 --> 00:43:15,136
and an American walk into a bar.
859
00:43:17,037 --> 00:43:18,739
(Contestants laughing)
860
00:43:18,973 --> 00:43:21,275
There's gotta be a punch line
in there somewhere. (chuckles)
861
00:43:21,475 --> 00:43:22,910
(laughs)
862
00:43:26,380 --> 00:43:28,549
- That was nice.
- What?
863
00:43:30,718 --> 00:43:31,887
To laugh.
864
00:43:32,086 --> 00:43:34,088
Well, let's keep it going, then.
Fuck him.
865
00:43:34,255 --> 00:43:36,424
All right. Does any of youse
know any jokes? Kasper?
866
00:43:36,858 --> 00:43:38,626
All right. I had a joke once...
867
00:43:39,593 --> 00:43:40,494
about yodeling.
868
00:43:41,295 --> 00:43:42,430
It went horribly.
869
00:43:43,197 --> 00:43:44,398
(Contestants chuckle)
870
00:43:45,232 --> 00:43:46,467
Then let's just talk.
871
00:43:46,667 --> 00:43:48,002
Yeah, we should at least
get to know each other
872
00:43:48,202 --> 00:43:49,703
before we die.
873
00:43:50,872 --> 00:43:51,972
Sorry.
874
00:43:53,307 --> 00:43:54,542
What's the topic
of the discussion?
875
00:43:55,075 --> 00:44:00,047
How about... what was it like
being married to Darla Drake?
876
00:44:00,882 --> 00:44:02,149
Boom.
877
00:44:02,283 --> 00:44:04,185
I'm kidding, man.
It's a really bad joke.
878
00:44:04,318 --> 00:44:06,253
No, no, no, I like this topic.
879
00:44:06,487 --> 00:44:08,756
I'm sorry, Ghost,
but I'm a big fan of hers.
880
00:44:09,557 --> 00:44:10,791
Okay, so,
what do you wanna know?
881
00:44:10,991 --> 00:44:12,393
About her shoe size.
882
00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:14,863
And her thoughts
on the climate change.
883
00:44:14,995 --> 00:44:16,096
What do you think I wanna know?
884
00:44:16,230 --> 00:44:18,199
How about start
with how you met?
885
00:44:21,035 --> 00:44:24,071
(sighs) It was three years ago.
886
00:44:25,206 --> 00:44:27,575
I had just moved to L.A.,
and I was playing
887
00:44:27,708 --> 00:44:29,977
this little gig
at a bar on Sunset.
888
00:44:30,511 --> 00:44:33,514
And one night, Darla showed up.
889
00:44:34,114 --> 00:44:37,251
This was just
before she blew up,
890
00:44:37,384 --> 00:44:39,587
so, I didn't know who she was.
891
00:44:40,154 --> 00:44:43,057
And, um, after the show,
she came up to me.
892
00:44:43,424 --> 00:44:46,160
And to this day, I...
I still can't believe
893
00:44:46,293 --> 00:44:47,528
that she was talking to me.
894
00:44:48,229 --> 00:44:51,131
We closed up,
walked down the street...
895
00:44:52,066 --> 00:44:55,736
talking till the sun came up.
And...
896
00:44:57,338 --> 00:44:59,206
I fell in love with her
right there
897
00:44:59,773 --> 00:45:00,708
on the street.
898
00:45:01,141 --> 00:45:03,344
Two months later
I'm on tour with her.
899
00:45:03,477 --> 00:45:05,446
And three months later
we're married.
900
00:45:07,381 --> 00:45:09,049
It all just happened so fast.
901
00:45:09,550 --> 00:45:12,019
And what age were you
when you got married, 12?
902
00:45:12,186 --> 00:45:13,487
(Cat laughs)
903
00:45:13,855 --> 00:45:16,056
- I was 19.
- Oh.
904
00:45:16,524 --> 00:45:19,393
I guess, young and dumb
really is a thing, huh?
905
00:45:19,928 --> 00:45:22,530
For the record,
the whole backup singer thing
906
00:45:22,663 --> 00:45:25,366
started as a joke.
I was never her backup singer.
907
00:45:25,699 --> 00:45:27,969
She just pulled me up
on stage one night,
908
00:45:28,302 --> 00:45:29,370
just to mess with me.
909
00:45:29,804 --> 00:45:32,773
Headlines. "Pop star falls
for backup singer."
910
00:45:33,741 --> 00:45:34,809
Totally fabricated.
911
00:45:35,242 --> 00:45:38,013
And then we did that stupid
reality show.
912
00:45:38,612 --> 00:45:40,481
And I said I would never
do that again.
913
00:45:42,216 --> 00:45:43,450
And here I am...
914
00:45:45,753 --> 00:45:46,654
again.
915
00:45:48,556 --> 00:45:50,257
Only this time for the money.
916
00:45:52,459 --> 00:45:55,462
Hey,
go easy on yourself, Ghost.
917
00:45:55,964 --> 00:45:57,698
All right,
we're all here for the money.
918
00:45:58,432 --> 00:46:00,200
I spent last summer living
in my car,
919
00:46:00,334 --> 00:46:02,136
so, I can see
how five million dollars
920
00:46:02,603 --> 00:46:05,472
could come in handy.
Well, if I win.
921
00:46:06,206 --> 00:46:08,075
- (laughs)
- Ximena: And if you lose,
922
00:46:08,309 --> 00:46:10,644
all your problems
will be gone anyways.
923
00:46:11,312 --> 00:46:13,113
So, it's a win-win?
924
00:46:13,949 --> 00:46:16,517
(Contestants laughing)
925
00:46:18,552 --> 00:46:21,488
If Furcas actually
gives the winner five million.
926
00:46:21,689 --> 00:46:23,557
I don't know
about that Furcas guy,
927
00:46:23,691 --> 00:46:26,027
he seems a bit sketchy,
if you ask me.
928
00:46:26,393 --> 00:46:28,228
(Contestants laughing)
929
00:46:28,662 --> 00:46:31,866
- Ximena: Yep. (chuckles)
- Ula: You guys having fun?
930
00:46:32,433 --> 00:46:33,767
You all gonna die.
931
00:46:34,768 --> 00:46:35,736
Hilarious.
932
00:46:35,971 --> 00:46:37,906
And what are we supposed
to do instead, babe?
933
00:46:38,405 --> 00:46:40,674
Sit around, sleep, bitch,
cry all day.
934
00:46:40,809 --> 00:46:43,611
Please tell us,
how's this working out for you?
935
00:46:43,744 --> 00:46:46,246
Sorry to interrupt
this riveting conversation,
936
00:46:46,380 --> 00:46:47,548
but the results are in.
937
00:46:47,816 --> 00:46:50,250
I do, however,
have some exciting news.
938
00:46:50,484 --> 00:46:52,486
Since Dex's untimely death,
939
00:46:52,620 --> 00:46:54,388
the viewership
has risen fivefold,
940
00:46:54,622 --> 00:46:57,658
so, a big congratulations
is in order to all of you.
941
00:46:58,093 --> 00:47:01,428
Now, without further ado,
let's find out who.
942
00:47:03,197 --> 00:47:04,531
(device chimes, beeps)
943
00:47:09,236 --> 00:47:10,337
(device beeps)
944
00:47:11,271 --> 00:47:12,406
Nice work, Cat.
945
00:47:12,941 --> 00:47:15,776
It seems, sometimes,
less truly is more.
946
00:47:16,077 --> 00:47:18,579
Lonni, second last
to second place.
947
00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:20,849
Perhaps the mental anguish
you suffered
948
00:47:20,982 --> 00:47:23,450
after disposing off Nevin
in such a gruesome,
949
00:47:23,617 --> 00:47:25,319
yet entertaining fashion,
950
00:47:25,452 --> 00:47:27,254
made you a more sympathetic
character.
951
00:47:27,554 --> 00:47:28,823
You're a piece of shit.
952
00:47:28,990 --> 00:47:30,457
Please refrain
from the clever comments
953
00:47:30,591 --> 00:47:31,659
for the time being, Mr. Nordin.
954
00:47:32,093 --> 00:47:34,194
Third place
is still respectable.
955
00:47:34,728 --> 00:47:36,430
Next, we have Headstone
in fourth,
956
00:47:36,730 --> 00:47:39,400
but look here,a Funhouse first,
957
00:47:39,533 --> 00:47:41,002
a tie for the bottom two.
958
00:47:41,136 --> 00:47:43,203
There is no way
I tied that bitch.
959
00:47:44,672 --> 00:47:46,340
Okay. Keep talking, stupid.
960
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:47,909
- Go on, say it.
- Fuck you.
961
00:47:48,143 --> 00:47:51,412
- Go to hell, skank!
- I don't understand you!
962
00:47:51,545 --> 00:47:54,181
Go fuck yourself, stupid!
963
00:47:54,314 --> 00:47:57,418
Furcas: Ladies, please,
this is very unbecoming.
964
00:47:57,685 --> 00:48:00,320
However, this next challenge
may be just the thing
965
00:48:00,454 --> 00:48:02,489
to help you work
through these issues.
966
00:48:03,091 --> 00:48:06,794
So, let's just see
what your challenge shall be.
967
00:48:07,261 --> 00:48:08,729
Blind Rage.
968
00:48:08,997 --> 00:48:11,833
Well, that sounds fun
and therapeutic.
969
00:48:11,966 --> 00:48:15,070
So, let's all adjourn
to the Kill Room, shall we?
970
00:48:15,202 --> 00:48:17,072
- (sobs)
- (gunshot)
971
00:48:17,438 --> 00:48:18,472
- (gun cocks)
- (James grunts)
972
00:48:18,639 --> 00:48:20,141
I'm gonna
fucking kill you!
973
00:48:20,274 --> 00:48:23,011
I highly doubt you can outfight
the bullet, Headstone.
974
00:48:23,711 --> 00:48:25,947
- No! No!
- Hey, get your hands off her!
975
00:48:26,147 --> 00:48:28,682
- Hey!
- No! (sobs)
976
00:48:31,485 --> 00:48:33,220
(device whirrs)
977
00:48:33,754 --> 00:48:35,689
Fuck!
978
00:48:37,926 --> 00:48:40,594
Welcome
to your Blind Rage challenge.
979
00:48:40,728 --> 00:48:44,032
The rules are simple.
You'll each be given an ax,
980
00:48:44,199 --> 00:48:46,101
the lights will go out,
and you will fight
981
00:48:46,233 --> 00:48:47,668
until one of you is dead.
982
00:48:47,801 --> 00:48:50,105
Please don't do this to us!
(sobs)
983
00:48:50,237 --> 00:48:51,906
There are no pleases here!
984
00:48:54,209 --> 00:48:55,342
(sobs)
985
00:49:00,647 --> 00:49:03,517
You're dead, girl.
You're fucking dead.
986
00:49:03,684 --> 00:49:05,552
It's time to play.
987
00:49:07,688 --> 00:49:09,090
- Ready?
- (lights click)
988
00:49:09,224 --> 00:49:10,324
Furcas: Lights out!
989
00:49:13,161 --> 00:49:15,395
James: Holy shit. Night vision.
990
00:49:19,333 --> 00:49:21,169
(pants)
991
00:49:21,870 --> 00:49:25,405
Oh, man, she's creeping up.
Shit's about to get real.
992
00:49:25,539 --> 00:49:27,008
College Dude: Yeah.
Let's go, Ula.
993
00:49:30,245 --> 00:49:31,913
- (grunts)
- (ax clangs)
994
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:33,948
James: Come on. Watch your back!
Watch your back!
995
00:49:34,149 --> 00:49:35,382
Back up, babe.
996
00:49:37,651 --> 00:49:39,921
- (grunts) Fucker!
- (ax clangs)
997
00:49:40,054 --> 00:49:41,388
(pants)
998
00:49:44,058 --> 00:49:44,993
She's right there.
999
00:49:45,325 --> 00:49:46,961
(pants)
1000
00:49:52,167 --> 00:49:54,668
- I hear you, bitch! (grunts)
- (ax clatters)
1001
00:49:55,502 --> 00:49:56,737
(Xemina grunts)
1002
00:49:57,138 --> 00:49:59,373
Get up, get up, get up! Get up!
She's there, she's there!
1003
00:49:59,506 --> 00:50:01,109
Lose something, bitch?
1004
00:50:01,276 --> 00:50:02,576
- (grunts)
- (Ula shrieks)
1005
00:50:02,776 --> 00:50:06,080
- (grunts)
- (Ula shrieks)
1006
00:50:07,081 --> 00:50:07,982
(grunts)
1007
00:50:10,985 --> 00:50:11,920
(grunts)
1008
00:50:12,253 --> 00:50:13,654
James: Go on, pick it up! There!
1009
00:50:15,156 --> 00:50:16,090
(Ximena grunts)
1010
00:50:18,625 --> 00:50:20,661
What a fucking shit day
I'm having.
1011
00:50:21,863 --> 00:50:22,629
(grunts softly)
1012
00:50:22,997 --> 00:50:25,799
Say something, you moron!
Say something!
1013
00:50:25,967 --> 00:50:28,970
- I can't understand you!
- (ax thuds)
1014
00:50:29,103 --> 00:50:30,104
Ooh!
1015
00:50:31,738 --> 00:50:34,108
Ooh, Jesus Christ.
1016
00:50:37,145 --> 00:50:39,713
- (Ula breathing heavily)
- (body thuds)
1017
00:50:46,020 --> 00:50:49,656
(gasps, sobs)
1018
00:50:55,129 --> 00:50:56,831
(birds chirping)
1019
00:51:00,034 --> 00:51:00,935
(gasps)
1020
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:08,775
(Ximena growling)
1021
00:51:16,483 --> 00:51:19,386
(growling)
1022
00:51:36,237 --> 00:51:39,706
- (pants)
- (growls)
1023
00:51:40,607 --> 00:51:44,879
(pants, sobs)
1024
00:51:48,283 --> 00:51:50,717
An ax fight in the dark
between two hot chicks.
1025
00:51:50,952 --> 00:51:52,353
Well played, Funhouse.
1026
00:51:52,519 --> 00:51:54,088
Well played.
My interest is piqued.
1027
00:51:54,289 --> 00:51:55,924
Although, you could've piqued
other parts of me
1028
00:51:56,057 --> 00:51:57,591
had they been
more scantily clad,
1029
00:51:57,959 --> 00:52:00,761
but choosers can't be beggars
in this crazy world of ours.
1030
00:52:01,029 --> 00:52:03,898
Word on the street is, Ximena
has a splitting headache.
1031
00:52:11,505 --> 00:52:12,874
College Dude 1: Hmm, duck lips.
1032
00:52:38,465 --> 00:52:39,599
Yeah.
1033
00:52:43,371 --> 00:52:46,941
(sobs, sniffles)
1034
00:52:52,246 --> 00:52:53,780
The question
everyone's asking then,
1035
00:52:53,915 --> 00:52:55,249
is why can't authorities find
1036
00:52:55,383 --> 00:52:57,085
the sourceof the Funhouse website
1037
00:52:57,218 --> 00:52:59,153
and where the videos
are being broadcast from?
1038
00:52:59,753 --> 00:53:01,089
Yeah, I mean, there's many ways
1039
00:53:01,222 --> 00:53:02,857
you can hide
a website's IP address
1040
00:53:02,991 --> 00:53:04,725
on the internet.
Typically, they'd use
1041
00:53:04,926 --> 00:53:07,527
what's called a Tor network
and a dot onion site.
1042
00:53:07,694 --> 00:53:09,596
This will have multiple levels
of encryption
1043
00:53:09,763 --> 00:53:11,432
making it virtually impossible
to track down,
1044
00:53:11,631 --> 00:53:15,203
but also not easily searchable.
Uh, whoever's behind this,
1045
00:53:15,336 --> 00:53:16,971
obviously wants
as many eyes on it as possible,
1046
00:53:17,105 --> 00:53:19,307
so,
it has to be on a public domain
1047
00:53:19,440 --> 00:53:20,640
and not on the dark web.
1048
00:53:20,908 --> 00:53:22,877
Why doesn't the FBI shut down
the website,
1049
00:53:23,011 --> 00:53:24,644
so that the public
can't see it?
1050
00:53:25,046 --> 00:53:27,614
Taking away the ability
for people to engage.
1051
00:53:27,915 --> 00:53:29,384
Yeah, I mean, normally,
they would just blackhole
1052
00:53:29,516 --> 00:53:31,618
the... the IP address,
but whoever's behind this
1053
00:53:31,752 --> 00:53:33,087
has obviously thought of that.
1054
00:53:33,287 --> 00:53:35,756
Um, they're using
a deep-learning virus.
1055
00:53:35,923 --> 00:53:37,358
It's a AI of some kind.
1056
00:53:37,492 --> 00:53:39,894
Uh, this has, you know,
changing proxies
1057
00:53:40,061 --> 00:53:41,695
that act as web servers
popping up
1058
00:53:41,863 --> 00:53:43,431
in different countries
all over the world.
1059
00:53:43,965 --> 00:53:45,199
Uh, it's called onion routing.
1060
00:53:45,333 --> 00:53:47,068
And with this
deep-learning virus,
1061
00:53:47,235 --> 00:53:50,405
it frankly makes it impossible
to track down.
1062
00:53:51,272 --> 00:53:54,075
Unfortunately,
if I was to guess,
1063
00:53:54,208 --> 00:53:57,245
I would say that this show
will continue until...
1064
00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:01,681
well, I mean,
until someone wins.
1065
00:54:06,720 --> 00:54:07,855
James: Wake up!
1066
00:54:16,130 --> 00:54:19,233
- Wake up!
- (objects shattering)
1067
00:54:23,037 --> 00:54:25,907
James: Where are you? (groaning)
1068
00:54:31,446 --> 00:54:32,646
(groans)
1069
00:54:32,847 --> 00:54:34,082
- Kasper: Come on, Headstone.
- (groans)
1070
00:54:34,282 --> 00:54:36,317
Kasper: Come on,
you can't sleep here. Come on.
1071
00:54:36,551 --> 00:54:40,154
Fuck off, Ghost!
Can you just let me lay here.
1072
00:54:42,457 --> 00:54:43,357
(sniffs)
1073
00:54:45,293 --> 00:54:46,928
(mumbles)
1074
00:54:49,430 --> 00:54:51,665
What are you doing? (sniffles)
1075
00:54:51,833 --> 00:54:55,002
I was just trying
to get him to bed.
1076
00:54:55,536 --> 00:54:57,238
Had a feeling about you two.
1077
00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:00,875
Come. Come sit with me, Kasper.
1078
00:55:01,008 --> 00:55:03,643
I think I'm gonna head
to bed actually.
1079
00:55:04,145 --> 00:55:05,513
You probably should, too.
1080
00:55:05,679 --> 00:55:09,317
Why? What do I have to do
tomorrow? Die?
1081
00:55:11,285 --> 00:55:13,521
Now, I do understand
the comedy in it.
1082
00:55:13,955 --> 00:55:17,657
- I'm gonna die in here.
- Come on, let's get you to bed.
1083
00:55:19,894 --> 00:55:21,996
(gulping)
1084
00:55:23,630 --> 00:55:25,433
(laughs)
1085
00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:28,402
- Kasper: You okay?
- (bottle thuds)
1086
00:55:29,769 --> 00:55:31,072
Kasper: Okay, come on.
1087
00:55:31,705 --> 00:55:32,840
(grunts)
1088
00:55:36,743 --> 00:55:38,980
Come on... it's okay.
1089
00:55:39,814 --> 00:55:46,420
- And up. And down you go.
- (gasps) Stay with me. (sobs)
1090
00:55:46,653 --> 00:55:48,055
Hey, take it easy, okay?
Come on.
1091
00:55:48,489 --> 00:55:51,325
- You don't like me, do you?
- Of course, I do.
1092
00:55:52,193 --> 00:55:55,396
Then let's do it.
Let's give them what they want.
1093
00:55:55,963 --> 00:55:59,000
Maybe they will vote for us.
(sobs)
1094
00:55:59,967 --> 00:56:01,302
(smooches, sobs)
1095
00:56:04,472 --> 00:56:07,608
I'm really sorry,
I can't do that. I can't.
1096
00:56:07,808 --> 00:56:09,743
- (sobs)
- James: Fucking bastard.
1097
00:56:09,877 --> 00:56:11,045
- (Ula gasps)
- Headstone, Headstone, it's...
1098
00:56:11,179 --> 00:56:13,214
- Fucking bastard!
- (chokes)
1099
00:56:13,780 --> 00:56:14,949
- (grunts)
- (chokes)
1100
00:56:17,285 --> 00:56:19,187
Let him go!
You're gonna kill him!
1101
00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:23,291
- He tried to fuck her!
- (Kasper pants)
1102
00:56:24,325 --> 00:56:26,360
(wheezes, coughs)
1103
00:56:28,262 --> 00:56:31,299
I've fucking seen you, Ghost!
I fucking saw you!
1104
00:56:31,499 --> 00:56:32,867
(pants, mumbles)
1105
00:56:48,449 --> 00:56:50,017
(thunder rumbling)
1106
00:57:16,911 --> 00:57:18,813
(device chimes, whirrs)
1107
00:57:19,814 --> 00:57:25,152
(sighs) The wonders of alcohol,shame, regret, blackouts.
1108
00:57:25,653 --> 00:57:27,722
And it almost led to our first
1109
00:57:27,922 --> 00:57:29,724
non-challenge murder
in the house.
1110
00:57:29,991 --> 00:57:31,425
How's the neck, Kasper?
1111
00:57:32,460 --> 00:57:35,329
Well, what a morose group
you all are.
1112
00:57:35,529 --> 00:57:36,931
You've certainly taken
1113
00:57:37,131 --> 00:57:38,833
the fun out of Funhouse today,haven't you?
1114
00:57:39,300 --> 00:57:42,103
Well, without further ado,
let's find out who.
1115
00:57:43,971 --> 00:57:45,072
(device beeps)
1116
00:57:47,308 --> 00:57:48,876
(device beeping)
1117
00:57:49,477 --> 00:57:52,779
Wow!
Now, that is indeed a surprise.
1118
00:57:52,947 --> 00:57:54,548
Kasper Nordin for the win.
1119
00:57:54,949 --> 00:57:57,418
- Quite mind-boggling, actually.
- Fuck you.
1120
00:57:57,752 --> 00:57:59,954
(sighs) And that was quite rude,
1121
00:58:00,321 --> 00:58:02,556
but perhaps effective,
considering your vote count.
1122
00:58:02,723 --> 00:58:05,693
See, it seems your unwavering
"fuck you" attitude
1123
00:58:05,826 --> 00:58:07,261
has made you a crowd favorite.
1124
00:58:07,461 --> 00:58:10,364
I mean, we are after all living
in unprecedented times
1125
00:58:10,598 --> 00:58:12,900
where ignorance, vulgarity,
and aggression
1126
00:58:13,134 --> 00:58:16,037
are all traits to be admired,
so, keep it up!
1127
00:58:16,504 --> 00:58:18,906
In second place,
holding strong, is Cat,
1128
00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:21,242
followed by Lonni, Headstone,
1129
00:58:21,442 --> 00:58:23,811
and finally, Ula.
1130
00:58:24,211 --> 00:58:26,981
I guess, even the female form
on full display
1131
00:58:27,281 --> 00:58:28,716
can become tiresome.
1132
00:58:29,417 --> 00:58:32,053
We are after all living
in the internet age, Ula,
1133
00:58:32,186 --> 00:58:34,789
where variety
is just a click away.
1134
00:58:34,955 --> 00:58:36,891
Perhaps
you should have focused
1135
00:58:37,024 --> 00:58:40,695
on being more genuine.
People love authenticity.
1136
00:58:40,995 --> 00:58:45,833
I get it, okay. People hate me.
They love this.
1137
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:48,769
You think it hasn't been
that way my whole life?
1138
00:58:48,903 --> 00:58:50,204
Do you think I don't know?
1139
00:58:50,338 --> 00:58:51,772
Do you think
I didn't hear everyone talking
1140
00:58:51,972 --> 00:58:53,107
about me in school?
1141
00:58:53,507 --> 00:58:56,777
Like they still talk about me.
Comment about me.
1142
00:58:56,977 --> 00:58:58,245
Like they know me.
1143
00:58:58,379 --> 00:59:01,015
"Hey, beautiful." "Hi, darling."
"Hi, sexy."
1144
00:59:01,282 --> 00:59:04,552
Whore, bimbo,
skank, gold-digger.
1145
00:59:04,685 --> 00:59:07,421
Do you think I don't know?
Well, fuck you!
1146
00:59:07,855 --> 00:59:09,390
My name is Ursula Kosmatka.
1147
00:59:09,523 --> 00:59:11,359
I don't give a fuck
what you think of me.
1148
00:59:13,861 --> 00:59:18,933
Wow. That was authentic, Ula.
That was genuine.
1149
00:59:19,066 --> 00:59:21,502
That tugged at the heartstrings.
1150
00:59:21,969 --> 00:59:24,672
But unfortunately,
too little too late.
1151
00:59:25,539 --> 00:59:29,043
So, let's just see
what her challenge will be.
1152
00:59:29,910 --> 00:59:31,412
Forget Me Not.
1153
00:59:34,949 --> 00:59:37,785
The Forget Me Not challenge
is a simple variant
1154
00:59:37,918 --> 00:59:40,755
of the perennial classic
card game Concentration,
1155
00:59:41,188 --> 00:59:42,690
also known as Memory.
1156
00:59:42,957 --> 00:59:46,026
You will have two minutes
to match all the card pairs.
1157
00:59:46,260 --> 00:59:47,728
If you succeed,
1158
00:59:47,863 --> 00:59:49,930
you automatically move on
to the next round.
1159
00:59:50,197 --> 00:59:51,432
But if you fail,
1160
00:59:51,732 --> 00:59:54,568
well, I strongly suggest
you don't fail.
1161
00:59:55,002 --> 00:59:57,638
Your time begins now.
1162
00:59:58,139 --> 01:00:00,341
- (clock ticking)
- Concentrate!
1163
01:00:13,254 --> 01:00:15,222
- Ula, the one on the right.
- Dude, she's probably
1164
01:00:15,356 --> 01:00:17,191
- really stressed out right now.
- College Girl: Aw.
1165
01:00:17,324 --> 01:00:18,459
College Dude:
Cut her some slack.
1166
01:00:18,860 --> 01:00:23,030
(pants)
1167
01:00:29,805 --> 01:00:31,272
James: (applauds) Come on.
1168
01:00:35,409 --> 01:00:36,410
(scoffs)
1169
01:00:38,847 --> 01:00:40,381
Come on, hurry, hurry, hurry!
1170
01:00:44,118 --> 01:00:45,286
Keep going! Come on!
1171
01:00:58,265 --> 01:01:03,204
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
1172
01:01:03,337 --> 01:01:09,643
five, four, three, two, one.
Time's up!
1173
01:01:12,112 --> 01:01:14,215
Wow, what a barn burner.
1174
01:01:14,582 --> 01:01:16,283
I really thought
you had it there, Ula,
1175
01:01:16,717 --> 01:01:19,320
but I do see how duck face
and fish gape
1176
01:01:19,453 --> 01:01:21,589
can easily be mistaken
for one another.
1177
01:01:22,356 --> 01:01:24,960
- Bring forth the Wheel of Fun!
- (switch clicks)
1178
01:01:25,927 --> 01:01:28,162
Furcas: You'll have one chance
to spin the wheel
1179
01:01:28,295 --> 01:01:30,364
and seal your fate.
If you do the math,
1180
01:01:30,531 --> 01:01:34,702
you have a 46.7 percent chance
of landing on a Quick & Easy,
1181
01:01:35,236 --> 01:01:38,305
which means you will be shot
in the head point blank.
1182
01:01:38,472 --> 01:01:42,676
No pain, case closed.
But there's also Pass the Buck,
1183
01:01:42,844 --> 01:01:44,612
which means
you pass a new challenge
1184
01:01:44,745 --> 01:01:48,382
onto the next lowest contestant
and move on to the next round.
1185
01:01:48,582 --> 01:01:50,886
Better odds than any casino,
right?
1186
01:01:51,218 --> 01:01:53,254
Now, those other seven spaces,
1187
01:01:53,387 --> 01:01:55,422
you'll wanna avoid those
altogether,
1188
01:01:55,623 --> 01:01:59,059
the Rat House and Impaler
being especially messy.
1189
01:01:59,527 --> 01:02:01,362
If you choose not to spin,
1190
01:02:01,595 --> 01:02:04,064
I'll choose
one of the nasty seven for you.
1191
01:02:04,231 --> 01:02:05,566
But wouldn't it be nice
1192
01:02:05,699 --> 01:02:07,601
to be in charge
of your own destiny?
1193
01:02:07,801 --> 01:02:10,304
So, turn that frown
upside down,
1194
01:02:10,437 --> 01:02:14,041
spin the wheel,
and paint the town red.
1195
01:02:30,124 --> 01:02:31,826
I hope she gets the gun.
1196
01:02:32,626 --> 01:02:34,662
College Dude 1: Pear of Anguish
sounds pretty interesting.
1197
01:02:35,396 --> 01:02:37,398
You're sick. You know that?
1198
01:02:53,147 --> 01:02:56,550
Furcas: The Rack! Ouch! Arguably
1199
01:02:56,684 --> 01:02:59,520
the most painful torture method
ever devised.
1200
01:02:59,955 --> 01:03:02,991
This is definitely
not your lucky day, Ula.
1201
01:03:03,324 --> 01:03:04,625
Prepare her.
1202
01:03:05,292 --> 01:03:07,728
- (screams)
- (Panda Helper thuds)
1203
01:03:08,662 --> 01:03:10,497
- Yes!
- Furcas: Take her alive!
1204
01:03:10,764 --> 01:03:14,568
- (screams)
- (Panda Helper groans)
1205
01:03:15,169 --> 01:03:16,337
(gun thuds)
1206
01:03:19,206 --> 01:03:20,741
Furcas: Ula La More.
1207
01:03:20,875 --> 01:03:22,877
Did you know
your true name, Ursula,
1208
01:03:23,011 --> 01:03:26,081
derives from the Latin word
meaning strong little bear?
1209
01:03:26,280 --> 01:03:29,216
Well, you certainly lived up
to that name today.
1210
01:03:29,350 --> 01:03:33,054
You killed a man
with your teeth, like an animal!
1211
01:03:33,587 --> 01:03:36,156
Perhaps I didn't give you
enough credit, Ula.
1212
01:03:36,323 --> 01:03:40,394
It sure will be a shame
to see you part with us today,
1213
01:03:40,561 --> 01:03:42,831
but alas, you cannot stay.
1214
01:03:43,098 --> 01:03:44,365
Death lies on her
1215
01:03:44,498 --> 01:03:45,867
- like an untimely frost...
- (Ula sobbing)
1216
01:03:46,001 --> 01:03:48,669
...upon the sweetest flower
of all the field.
1217
01:03:49,004 --> 01:03:52,740
- No! (sobs)
- Stop!
1218
01:03:53,008 --> 01:03:54,441
(Ula screams)
1219
01:04:03,150 --> 01:04:08,155
Look! Look at me! Look at me!
For fuck's... Ula! Hey!
1220
01:04:08,322 --> 01:04:10,357
(continues screaming)
1221
01:04:16,597 --> 01:04:20,001
- (bones cracking)
- Oh, there goes an arm!
1222
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:22,703
For fuck's sake! God! Fuck!
1223
01:04:30,979 --> 01:04:32,981
Funhouse. What the hell?
1224
01:04:33,114 --> 01:04:35,382
You go and kill off
the hot Instagram model,
1225
01:04:35,516 --> 01:04:37,518
and right after
she bares her soul to us?
1226
01:04:37,651 --> 01:04:39,687
I mean, do you even know
who your target audience is?
1227
01:04:39,854 --> 01:04:41,755
I was starting
to really like Miss La More,
1228
01:04:41,923 --> 01:04:43,691
and then you go
and rip her limbs off.
1229
01:04:43,825 --> 01:04:47,261
How can you take selfies
without arms?
1230
01:04:55,469 --> 01:04:58,338
- (device chimes)
- Furcas: Hello, everyone.
1231
01:04:58,772 --> 01:05:02,242
I have a surprise for you
waiting by the green door.
1232
01:05:02,376 --> 01:05:03,845
(device whirrs)
1233
01:05:46,221 --> 01:05:47,387
(device chimes)
1234
01:05:49,690 --> 01:05:51,291
(envelope rustling)
1235
01:06:04,304 --> 01:06:05,874
(sobs)
1236
01:06:14,115 --> 01:06:17,351
- You're a twisted fuck.
- I apologize, Kasper,
1237
01:06:17,484 --> 01:06:19,586
we couldn't find
any online pictures
1238
01:06:19,720 --> 01:06:21,722
of your parents
due to the fact that they died
1239
01:06:21,856 --> 01:06:23,457
in a car crash
when you were just
1240
01:06:23,590 --> 01:06:24,826
three years old.
1241
01:06:25,126 --> 01:06:26,660
You, however, survived
1242
01:06:26,794 --> 01:06:28,729
to become Darla Drake's
ex-husband,
1243
01:06:28,963 --> 01:06:31,732
so, that's a nice silver
lining, isn't it?
1244
01:06:32,533 --> 01:06:34,668
Well, I hope
this trip down memory lane
1245
01:06:34,802 --> 01:06:36,104
has brought some solace
1246
01:06:36,237 --> 01:06:38,772
into your otherwise
wasted lives.
1247
01:06:38,907 --> 01:06:39,941
(device whirrs)
1248
01:06:55,556 --> 01:06:56,790
(tires screeching)
1249
01:06:57,025 --> 01:06:59,459
- (explosion)
- (glass shattering)
1250
01:07:09,871 --> 01:07:10,805
(sniffles)
1251
01:07:11,405 --> 01:07:12,739
(exhales, sniffles)
1252
01:07:15,409 --> 01:07:16,978
I'm sorry about your family.
1253
01:07:17,846 --> 01:07:20,747
It just made me realize
that if I die in here,
1254
01:07:20,882 --> 01:07:22,083
what difference does it make?
1255
01:07:22,649 --> 01:07:25,854
He's right, you know?
I contribute nothing.
1256
01:07:26,520 --> 01:07:29,356
- I am nothing.
- Don't you dare listen
1257
01:07:29,523 --> 01:07:30,992
to that thing.
1258
01:07:31,192 --> 01:07:35,864
I will always be known
as Darla Drake's ex-husband.
1259
01:07:36,563 --> 01:07:37,932
That's my legacy.
1260
01:07:39,399 --> 01:07:40,869
- (water rippling)
- (sobs)
1261
01:07:41,236 --> 01:07:43,737
Believe me, I get it.
You forgot you're talking
1262
01:07:43,872 --> 01:07:46,975
to a girl who dated 30 guys
in front of 50 million people,
1263
01:07:47,407 --> 01:07:48,642
and was to marry one of them
1264
01:07:48,775 --> 01:07:50,311
after knowing him
for, like, a month.
1265
01:07:50,845 --> 01:07:52,981
People think I'm shallow.
1266
01:07:53,848 --> 01:07:55,183
That I'm a fame whore.
1267
01:07:55,950 --> 01:07:58,685
But why? 'Cause we were trying
to find someone to love?
1268
01:07:59,519 --> 01:08:01,388
Does that mean
we're not good people?
1269
01:08:01,655 --> 01:08:03,657
That we don't contribute?
1270
01:08:04,691 --> 01:08:06,393
We got caught up in something.
1271
01:08:07,262 --> 01:08:10,331
It's this idea
that we need to be somebody.
1272
01:08:11,099 --> 01:08:13,467
I bought into it.
Thought I could find it.
1273
01:08:13,868 --> 01:08:17,338
But you... you just fell in love
with a girl
1274
01:08:17,704 --> 01:08:20,975
and got caught up in her life.
Big difference.
1275
01:08:22,110 --> 01:08:24,012
Social media, tabloids,
1276
01:08:24,145 --> 01:08:27,815
celebrities, fame, money,
it's all bullshit.
1277
01:08:28,515 --> 01:08:33,354
It's taken us down a dark path,
and it has led us right here.
1278
01:08:33,888 --> 01:08:36,590
- I have to explain about Ula.
- Lonni: No, you don't.
1279
01:08:36,723 --> 01:08:39,493
- Yes, I do.
- You don't owe me anything.
1280
01:08:41,329 --> 01:08:43,831
And I don't feel right talking
about her...
1281
01:08:45,133 --> 01:08:46,100
not now.
1282
01:08:49,170 --> 01:08:50,437
(water rippling)
1283
01:09:00,181 --> 01:09:01,916
If that's the case,
then why do you think
1284
01:09:02,050 --> 01:09:03,517
your marriage
to Kasper didn't work out?
1285
01:09:03,851 --> 01:09:06,220
I watched Back up Love,
and it seems to me
1286
01:09:06,354 --> 01:09:08,689
like you two were made
for each other.
1287
01:09:10,124 --> 01:09:13,828
With Kasper,
love was never the problem.
1288
01:09:15,029 --> 01:09:18,299
I know this will sound
very trite and cliché,
1289
01:09:18,433 --> 01:09:22,103
but... it's complicated.
1290
01:09:23,171 --> 01:09:27,008
Living under a microscope,
it's... it's complicated.
1291
01:09:28,876 --> 01:09:32,013
And he, um... he wanted kids.
1292
01:09:33,580 --> 01:09:37,185
And while I knew he would
be an amazing father...
1293
01:09:39,786 --> 01:09:41,089
I don't know, I just...
1294
01:09:42,556 --> 01:09:45,960
I can't imagine bringing a
child into this world.
1295
01:09:46,693 --> 01:09:47,929
Why not?
1296
01:09:48,162 --> 01:09:49,596
Turn on the news
and take your pick.
1297
01:09:51,265 --> 01:09:54,601
And now, this...this Funhouse thing.
1298
01:09:55,837 --> 01:09:57,338
I just can't believe
what human beings
1299
01:09:57,472 --> 01:10:01,943
- are capable of.
- Do you still love Kasper?
1300
01:10:03,144 --> 01:10:04,112
(sighs)
1301
01:10:05,046 --> 01:10:06,247
I'll always love him.
1302
01:10:06,381 --> 01:10:07,815
(device chiming, whirring)
1303
01:10:08,049 --> 01:10:11,052
Furcas: So, without further ado,
let's find out who.
1304
01:10:11,819 --> 01:10:13,154
(device whirring)
1305
01:10:19,626 --> 01:10:21,462
Furcas: Congratulations, Kasper.
1306
01:10:21,795 --> 01:10:24,598
Personally,
I find you quite abrasive,
1307
01:10:24,731 --> 01:10:26,267
but the audience seems
to like you.
1308
01:10:26,434 --> 01:10:29,603
Perhaps the chivalry shown
to the recently departed
1309
01:10:29,770 --> 01:10:31,072
did not go unnoticed
1310
01:10:31,472 --> 01:10:34,175
by the more civilized portion
of the voting audience.
1311
01:10:34,375 --> 01:10:35,742
I do feel that some form
1312
01:10:35,877 --> 01:10:38,946
of vindication is owed
to Mr. Nordin.
1313
01:10:44,785 --> 01:10:47,855
(sighs) Stay with me.
1314
01:10:49,057 --> 01:10:51,893
- You don't like me, do you?
- Kasper: Of course, I do.
1315
01:10:52,126 --> 01:10:54,728
Ula: Then let's do it.
Maybe they will vote for us.
1316
01:10:55,029 --> 01:10:56,030
(sobs)
1317
01:10:56,497 --> 01:10:58,299
(smooches, sobs)
1318
01:10:59,033 --> 01:11:00,634
I'm sorry, I can't do that.
1319
01:11:02,270 --> 01:11:03,971
- James: Fucking bastard.
- (gasps)
1320
01:11:04,105 --> 01:11:06,274
- Headstone, Headstone, it's...
- Fucking bastard!
1321
01:11:06,706 --> 01:11:07,942
Lonni: Let him go!
1322
01:11:08,376 --> 01:11:09,811
- You're gonna kill him!
- He tried to fuck her!
1323
01:11:10,511 --> 01:11:11,813
(Kasper choking, coughing)
1324
01:11:11,979 --> 01:11:14,916
- (pants)
- I'm sorry, Ghost.
1325
01:11:16,050 --> 01:11:18,019
Furcas: Now, that we've cleared
the air on that,
1326
01:11:18,152 --> 01:11:21,122
back to the count.
We have Lonni in second place,
1327
01:11:21,489 --> 01:11:24,624
Cat in third,
and finally, Headstone.
1328
01:11:24,758 --> 01:11:26,227
It seems your drunken antics
1329
01:11:26,360 --> 01:11:27,862
- will only take you so far.
- (scoffs)
1330
01:11:28,162 --> 01:11:31,833
Looks like the one-trick pony
has finally run out of tricks.
1331
01:11:32,100 --> 01:11:33,901
Show me the man
behind the puppet
1332
01:11:34,368 --> 01:11:37,105
- and I'll show you some tricks.
- Furcas: All in due time.
1333
01:11:37,305 --> 01:11:41,175
For now, let's just see
what your challenge shall be.
1334
01:11:43,244 --> 01:11:46,746
Death Match. The audience
shall choose your fate.
1335
01:11:46,881 --> 01:11:50,418
(Sabnock laughing)
1336
01:11:50,650 --> 01:11:52,220
- (screams)
- Furcas: Vapula
1337
01:11:52,353 --> 01:11:55,389
(grunts)
1338
01:11:56,958 --> 01:11:58,893
- (laughs)
- Furcas: Sabnock.
1339
01:12:04,565 --> 01:12:06,633
- (screams)
- Furcas: Botis.
1340
01:12:11,038 --> 01:12:13,341
- (Orobas grunts)
- Furcas: Orobas.
1341
01:12:13,474 --> 01:12:15,409
(Orobas growls)
1342
01:12:19,080 --> 01:12:21,048
Furcas:
Voting is open for one hour.
1343
01:12:25,419 --> 01:12:27,822
No one's gonna vote
on something like this.
1344
01:12:29,789 --> 01:12:30,892
Are they?
1345
01:12:32,293 --> 01:12:33,227
(scoffs)
1346
01:12:37,832 --> 01:12:39,233
- Whoa!
- Those are big dudes,
1347
01:12:39,367 --> 01:12:40,334
- man.
- Yeah.
1348
01:12:40,734 --> 01:12:42,436
College Dude 1: That painting
on their face. Whoo!
1349
01:12:42,570 --> 01:12:45,072
- College Dude: I like that guy.
- Orobas all the way, man.
1350
01:12:45,206 --> 01:12:46,974
- That dude right there, Botis.
- No, no, no, no.
1351
01:12:47,475 --> 01:12:49,076
College Dude:
Vapula all the way, man.
1352
01:12:50,710 --> 01:12:52,346
(exclaims)
1353
01:12:52,712 --> 01:12:55,682
Come on! (grunts)
1354
01:13:02,590 --> 01:13:03,891
(mumbles)
1355
01:13:04,458 --> 01:13:06,994
- Botis.
- (growls)
1356
01:13:07,461 --> 01:13:08,396
(grunts)
1357
01:13:10,531 --> 01:13:15,702
(laughing)
1358
01:13:20,274 --> 01:13:21,342
(Orobas growls)
1359
01:13:24,778 --> 01:13:27,114
- (Sabnock laughing)
- Sabnock.
1360
01:13:30,384 --> 01:13:31,919
(device beeping)
1361
01:13:32,653 --> 01:13:34,455
(Both laugh)
1362
01:13:35,423 --> 01:13:37,992
(Sabnock laughing)
1363
01:13:41,761 --> 01:13:42,897
(device beeping)
1364
01:13:45,166 --> 01:13:46,968
- (device beeping erratically)
- Furcas: Botis.
1365
01:13:47,134 --> 01:13:48,836
The audience has spoken.
1366
01:13:49,003 --> 01:13:51,372
Headstone versus Botis
to the death.
1367
01:13:51,639 --> 01:13:54,575
If you win,
you continue to the next round.
1368
01:13:54,709 --> 01:13:57,311
If you lose, well...
1369
01:13:58,713 --> 01:14:00,448
(device whirrs)
1370
01:14:12,493 --> 01:14:13,427
(glasses thud)
1371
01:14:19,233 --> 01:14:21,435
James: What I say now
is for one person,
1372
01:14:21,569 --> 01:14:22,970
and one person only.
1373
01:14:24,538 --> 01:14:26,607
- My daughter...
- (photograph rustling)
1374
01:14:26,741 --> 01:14:27,642
...Nina.
1375
01:14:28,409 --> 01:14:30,077
When you grow up,
I hope you never witness
1376
01:14:30,211 --> 01:14:33,047
what happened in here.
I pray you never see that.
1377
01:14:33,780 --> 01:14:37,485
But I do hope that you receive
this message someday,
1378
01:14:37,652 --> 01:14:39,620
so, you can understand something
about me.
1379
01:14:40,288 --> 01:14:42,156
I tried to be a good father.
1380
01:14:42,789 --> 01:14:46,127
Now, I know I wasn't allowed
to be around you very much
1381
01:14:46,260 --> 01:14:48,095
because of the bad choices
I made.
1382
01:14:48,729 --> 01:14:51,966
Choices that had nothing
to do with you. It was my fault.
1383
01:14:52,433 --> 01:14:55,069
I did that to us
and for that I'm ashamed.
1384
01:14:55,802 --> 01:14:58,005
I've made so many mistakes.
1385
01:14:59,707 --> 01:15:02,443
I have so much rage.
1386
01:15:03,177 --> 01:15:07,214
(sniffles) But there's one thing
I did do right, you.
1387
01:15:08,949 --> 01:15:10,351
You were the only thing
in my life
1388
01:15:10,484 --> 01:15:14,355
that was pure, and good,
and beautiful.
1389
01:15:14,889 --> 01:15:18,192
My Primrose Princess
in your wee yellow dress.
1390
01:15:19,593 --> 01:15:22,296
Just remember, no matter
what happens in your life,
1391
01:15:22,530 --> 01:15:25,966
that your father loved you
more than anything in his.
1392
01:15:28,836 --> 01:15:33,307
You are my life... always.
(sobs)
1393
01:15:37,078 --> 01:15:39,180
- I'll see you later.
- (device chiming)
1394
01:15:39,447 --> 01:15:42,950
And now, this is the moment
fight fans watching
1395
01:15:43,084 --> 01:15:45,052
around the world
have been waiting for.
1396
01:15:45,353 --> 01:15:47,955
Live
from the Funhouse Kill Room!
1397
01:15:48,356 --> 01:15:50,891
A fight to the death
for the undisputed
1398
01:15:51,058 --> 01:15:52,727
Funhouse Championship
of the world.
1399
01:15:52,927 --> 01:15:55,329
Introducing first, fighting
out of the blue corner,
1400
01:15:55,463 --> 01:15:58,499
a mixed martial artist
holding a professional record,
1401
01:15:58,632 --> 01:16:01,402
28 wins, six losses,
one no contest,
1402
01:16:01,569 --> 01:16:03,738
he stands
five feet ten inches tall,
1403
01:16:03,871 --> 01:16:06,407
weighing in at a 170
and one half pounds,
1404
01:16:06,540 --> 01:16:08,676
fighting out of
Dundalk, Ireland
1405
01:16:08,810 --> 01:16:12,146
James Headstone Malone.
1406
01:16:12,380 --> 01:16:13,948
Come on, buddy.
Come on, you got this.
1407
01:16:14,148 --> 01:16:16,384
Introducing his opponent,
fighting out of the red corner,
1408
01:16:16,550 --> 01:16:19,553
holding a perfect record
of 24 kills, no losses.
1409
01:16:19,687 --> 01:16:21,789
He stands
at six feet ten inches tall,
1410
01:16:21,922 --> 01:16:24,392
weighing in at 340 pounds,
1411
01:16:24,525 --> 01:16:28,496
fighting out of the Seventh
Circle of Hell, Botis!
1412
01:16:28,629 --> 01:16:31,432
(screams)
1413
01:16:31,632 --> 01:16:34,034
- Let's go, Botis.
- Why would you cheer for him?
1414
01:16:34,168 --> 01:16:36,971
- It's to the death.
- Look at him, he's massive.
1415
01:16:38,172 --> 01:16:40,141
Gentlemen,
the rules are very simple.
1416
01:16:40,307 --> 01:16:42,643
Fight until one of you is dead.
1417
01:16:44,211 --> 01:16:45,946
- Begin.
- (bell dings)
1418
01:16:47,448 --> 01:16:48,449
(thud)
1419
01:17:02,129 --> 01:17:04,665
- (grunts, screams)
- (James thuds)
1420
01:17:08,969 --> 01:17:10,137
(exclaims)
1421
01:17:10,504 --> 01:17:14,508
- (grunts)
- (groans)
1422
01:17:14,843 --> 01:17:15,976
Yes!
1423
01:17:17,611 --> 01:17:19,480
(exclaims)
1424
01:17:24,351 --> 01:17:27,154
- (grunts)
- (groans)
1425
01:17:27,755 --> 01:17:29,825
(Both grunt)
1426
01:17:30,324 --> 01:17:33,794
- (screams, grunts)
- (grunts)
1427
01:17:34,462 --> 01:17:36,964
- (grunts)
- (groans)
1428
01:17:37,565 --> 01:17:40,034
(groans)
1429
01:17:40,936 --> 01:17:42,803
- (groans)
- (James thuds)
1430
01:17:43,037 --> 01:17:44,472
(chokes)
1431
01:17:46,474 --> 01:17:47,374
(groans)
1432
01:17:48,409 --> 01:17:50,344
- (grunts)
- (James thuds)
1433
01:17:52,680 --> 01:17:56,417
(Botis screams)
1434
01:17:58,452 --> 01:18:02,056
- (grunts softly)
- (groans)
1435
01:18:02,523 --> 01:18:05,059
- (groans)
- (Botis grunts)
1436
01:18:07,929 --> 01:18:09,898
- (groans)
- (bone cracking)
1437
01:18:10,130 --> 01:18:13,267
(groans)
1438
01:18:16,103 --> 01:18:17,238
- (groans)
- (Botis grunts)
1439
01:18:17,571 --> 01:18:21,475
- Kasper: No!
- Oh, yes, Botis! Yes! Yes!
1440
01:18:24,545 --> 01:18:27,581
- (Botis screams)
- (pants)
1441
01:18:28,015 --> 01:18:30,618
- (grunts)
- (groans)
1442
01:18:31,352 --> 01:18:38,158
- (grunts)
- (groans)
1443
01:18:39,493 --> 01:18:42,229
- Come on, asshole!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
1444
01:18:46,001 --> 01:18:48,269
(screams)
1445
01:18:48,402 --> 01:18:49,670
- (grunts)
- (Botis groans)
1446
01:18:52,106 --> 01:18:55,776
- (groans)
- (grunts)
1447
01:18:57,611 --> 01:18:59,113
- You got this, Headstone!
- Come on!
1448
01:18:59,513 --> 01:19:02,583
- Tear it out.
- Rip his fucking head off!
1449
01:19:05,352 --> 01:19:07,788
- (bone cracking)
- (grunts)
1450
01:19:09,991 --> 01:19:11,058
Yes!
1451
01:19:11,425 --> 01:19:12,626
He fucking did it!
1452
01:19:12,793 --> 01:19:15,129
- Whoo! Yeah. (chuckles)
- (Viewers cheer)
1453
01:19:15,462 --> 01:19:18,499
Furcas: A fantastic display
of courage, Headstone.
1454
01:19:18,766 --> 01:19:22,871
I'd even hazard a guess to say
that if you absolutely had to,
1455
01:19:23,004 --> 01:19:24,538
you could keep fighting.
1456
01:19:25,372 --> 01:19:29,710
- Well, you absolutely have to.
- (device whirrs)
1457
01:19:30,644 --> 01:19:33,915
(laughs)
1458
01:19:34,983 --> 01:19:38,252
No! What the hell is this?
No! Headstone!
1459
01:19:38,652 --> 01:19:39,620
(laughs)
1460
01:19:39,753 --> 01:19:41,422
You're a fucking liar
and a snake!
1461
01:19:41,555 --> 01:19:45,426
- (laughs)
- (Orobas growls)
1462
01:19:46,594 --> 01:19:47,561
Okay.
1463
01:19:49,030 --> 01:19:50,431
But just one last thing.
1464
01:19:51,933 --> 01:19:54,368
You know you're going
to hell for all this. Right?
1465
01:19:56,704 --> 01:20:01,175
(scoffs) See, the thing is,
I'm going there, too.
1466
01:20:02,176 --> 01:20:03,344
So, I'll be waiting for you.
1467
01:20:03,677 --> 01:20:06,647
And I'll teach you
about fucking pain.
1468
01:20:08,282 --> 01:20:11,886
Hell is empty
and all the devils are here.
1469
01:20:13,187 --> 01:20:14,788
(Orobas growls)
1470
01:20:19,193 --> 01:20:20,394
(sobs)
1471
01:20:24,032 --> 01:20:27,134
- The bold will die...
- As will the strong.
1472
01:20:27,836 --> 01:20:30,671
As legends, we go on.
1473
01:20:36,210 --> 01:20:37,311
Come on!
1474
01:20:39,313 --> 01:20:40,280
(laughing)
1475
01:20:40,447 --> 01:20:43,517
- Come on!
- No! No!
1476
01:20:44,385 --> 01:20:48,689
(Orobas growling)
1477
01:20:50,658 --> 01:20:52,894
- No!
- (Orobas growls)
1478
01:20:56,196 --> 01:20:57,331
Kasper: Fucking stop.
1479
01:20:58,867 --> 01:21:00,300
(Orobas growls)
1480
01:21:10,812 --> 01:21:12,279
(birds chirping)
1481
01:21:27,862 --> 01:21:30,397
Okay, Funhouse,
that was one hell of a fight.
1482
01:21:30,698 --> 01:21:32,800
I mean, that Headstone fella
can sure take a beating.
1483
01:21:32,934 --> 01:21:34,535
But then again, we Irish
have been taking them
1484
01:21:34,668 --> 01:21:36,104
- our whole lives.
- Man: Okay.
1485
01:21:36,303 --> 01:21:38,605
Sorry, just a bit of sad
reflection for my people.
1486
01:21:38,739 --> 01:21:40,307
Not gonna lie,
I was little disappointed
1487
01:21:40,441 --> 01:21:42,143
to see my countryman taken
out that way.
1488
01:21:42,276 --> 01:21:43,544
I mean, three on one?
1489
01:21:43,978 --> 01:21:45,947
That Furcas son of a bitch
is one bold-faced liar.
1490
01:21:46,081 --> 01:21:47,281
Whatever happened to the days
1491
01:21:47,681 --> 01:21:51,251
when you could trust the word
of a sadistic, maniacal panda?
1492
01:21:54,588 --> 01:21:56,590
(device chiming, whirrs)
1493
01:21:58,093 --> 01:21:59,760
Furcas: A penny
for your thoughts.
1494
01:22:01,528 --> 01:22:03,430
I'm just wondering who you are.
1495
01:22:04,498 --> 01:22:06,067
What kind of person you are.
1496
01:22:07,168 --> 01:22:08,970
What it would be like
to make you suffer.
1497
01:22:09,269 --> 01:22:12,173
I mean, I get
that you are a sadistic animal.
1498
01:22:12,439 --> 01:22:14,608
A coward
that kills innocent people.
1499
01:22:15,375 --> 01:22:16,610
Why do you do this?
1500
01:22:17,444 --> 01:22:18,880
Celebrated mediocrity
1501
01:22:19,013 --> 01:22:20,915
has become the opiate
of the masses.
1502
01:22:21,049 --> 01:22:25,419
Fame with no expertise,
nor talent, nor accomplishment.
1503
01:22:25,753 --> 01:22:27,989
It's a sickness
that must be cleansed.
1504
01:22:28,322 --> 01:22:29,456
It's madness.
1505
01:22:29,991 --> 01:22:32,861
You're important
because you married a pop star,
1506
01:22:33,061 --> 01:22:34,294
simple as that.
1507
01:22:34,762 --> 01:22:37,664
So, now, you must become
the product which you so covet
1508
01:22:37,798 --> 01:22:39,533
in that pathetic life
you have chosen.
1509
01:22:39,901 --> 01:22:43,004
I don't buy it.
There's gotta be more to it.
1510
01:22:43,270 --> 01:22:45,606
What, Mommy and Daddy
didn't love you enough?
1511
01:22:45,807 --> 01:22:49,376
You couldn't get a date
to prom? Or is it chemical?
1512
01:22:49,643 --> 01:22:51,345
Fucked up circuits.
1513
01:22:57,185 --> 01:22:58,552
A penny for your thoughts.
1514
01:22:59,821 --> 01:23:02,790
You are indeed entertaining,
Mr. Nordin.
1515
01:23:03,757 --> 01:23:05,359
But see, that's part of it.
1516
01:23:06,161 --> 01:23:07,061
Entertainment.
1517
01:23:08,096 --> 01:23:10,231
See, I'm doing this
because I must.
1518
01:23:10,564 --> 01:23:11,966
Because somebody had to do it.
1519
01:23:12,299 --> 01:23:15,536
I mean, death and torture
happen all over the world
1520
01:23:15,669 --> 01:23:18,106
every single day
to so called innocent people.
1521
01:23:18,539 --> 01:23:20,541
But see, no one really cares
unless it happens
1522
01:23:20,674 --> 01:23:22,643
to a specific group of people,
1523
01:23:22,911 --> 01:23:25,746
of a specific color,
in a specific country.
1524
01:23:26,281 --> 01:23:27,949
So, I bring it to them live,
1525
01:23:28,216 --> 01:23:32,153
unedited, authentic, without
commercial interruption.
1526
01:23:32,386 --> 01:23:33,620
And perhaps
1527
01:23:33,955 --> 01:23:35,622
you're not as innocent
as you thought you were.
1528
01:23:35,824 --> 01:23:38,525
See, it's what you represent
that is the problem.
1529
01:23:38,659 --> 01:23:42,729
This new
Kardashianization of humanity.
1530
01:23:43,131 --> 01:23:44,431
The big decline.
1531
01:23:44,899 --> 01:23:48,335
You are part of a condition
fueled by entertainment.
1532
01:23:48,535 --> 01:23:50,038
News is entertainment,
1533
01:23:50,305 --> 01:23:54,608
politics is entertainment,
war is entertainment,
1534
01:23:54,775 --> 01:23:59,446
and your death, no matter
how insignificant that may be...
1535
01:24:01,216 --> 01:24:02,250
is entertainment.
1536
01:24:02,884 --> 01:24:07,088
Sure, some will weep for you,
others will laugh,
1537
01:24:07,354 --> 01:24:09,958
but make no mistake,
the vast majority of people
1538
01:24:10,091 --> 01:24:13,493
who watch you die
will feel absolutely nothing.
1539
01:24:13,828 --> 01:24:15,429
If you die in this house,
1540
01:24:15,596 --> 01:24:17,798
the people that watch will go
to bed the same at night,
1541
01:24:17,999 --> 01:24:20,467
wake up the next morning,
and go about their lives
1542
01:24:20,601 --> 01:24:22,636
like you never even existed
at all.
1543
01:24:22,904 --> 01:24:26,174
And then they'll find
the next new, shiny object.
1544
01:24:26,307 --> 01:24:27,674
That is entertainment.
1545
01:24:27,842 --> 01:24:31,312
In the end,
we are all just animals, Kasper,
1546
01:24:31,712 --> 01:24:35,649
primitive and self-serving
until that very end comes.
1547
01:24:36,951 --> 01:24:39,053
So, all that garbage
you just spouted,
1548
01:24:39,187 --> 01:24:42,156
makes you, what, our judge,
jury, and executioner?
1549
01:24:42,556 --> 01:24:43,925
It justifies murder?
1550
01:24:44,826 --> 01:24:46,560
Oh, human beings love murder.
1551
01:24:46,861 --> 01:24:49,264
We love violence.
We love death.
1552
01:24:49,429 --> 01:24:51,431
On television in this country,
1553
01:24:51,632 --> 01:24:53,667
a woman's breasts
are more censored
1554
01:24:53,835 --> 01:24:54,869
than a slit throat,
1555
01:24:55,236 --> 01:24:58,438
the word fuck
more than a severed head.
1556
01:24:58,705 --> 01:25:01,475
And look no further
than any comment thread
1557
01:25:01,608 --> 01:25:03,144
of any social media platform
1558
01:25:03,344 --> 01:25:05,914
to see how quickly
a harmless debate
1559
01:25:06,047 --> 01:25:09,250
can devolve into aggression,
violence, and hate.
1560
01:25:09,884 --> 01:25:11,853
What I'm saying is, Mr. Nordin,
1561
01:25:12,086 --> 01:25:15,390
that same instinct lies
in both you and in I.
1562
01:25:16,024 --> 01:25:18,259
Except I choose to embrace it.
1563
01:25:19,093 --> 01:25:22,696
I hate to tell you this...
but that thing
1564
01:25:23,031 --> 01:25:28,602
that lives in you... has never,
and will never live in us.
1565
01:25:29,569 --> 01:25:31,505
Oh, I'm betting that it does...
1566
01:25:32,606 --> 01:25:35,810
and that it will reveal itself
very, very soon.
1567
01:25:40,949 --> 01:25:44,352
Well, don't I feel like
the third wheel here.
1568
01:25:44,785 --> 01:25:46,888
How about I give you two
some privacy?
1569
01:25:47,322 --> 01:25:48,455
Good talk.
1570
01:25:52,393 --> 01:25:53,694
Look, I, um...
1571
01:25:55,296 --> 01:25:56,797
I'm glad you're here.
1572
01:25:58,299 --> 01:25:59,499
Oh, no. That...
1573
01:26:00,201 --> 01:26:01,468
Here, just...
1574
01:26:02,502 --> 01:26:06,640
I just mean, I'm glad
I got the chance to know you...
1575
01:26:07,875 --> 01:26:09,676
even if it was in here.
1576
01:26:11,578 --> 01:26:12,713
Me, too.
1577
01:26:15,249 --> 01:26:17,551
Sure wish it could have been
someplace else, though,
1578
01:26:17,684 --> 01:26:19,454
like a grocery store.
1579
01:26:19,619 --> 01:26:20,822
(Both chuckle softly)
1580
01:26:33,401 --> 01:26:34,501
(smooches)
1581
01:26:50,218 --> 01:26:52,153
(machine whirrs)
1582
01:26:57,058 --> 01:26:57,992
(gasps)
1583
01:27:00,395 --> 01:27:01,896
(Both pant)
1584
01:27:05,066 --> 01:27:06,467
Hmm. Okay.
1585
01:27:06,633 --> 01:27:07,734
(pants)
1586
01:27:09,504 --> 01:27:12,206
(breathes deeply)
1587
01:27:15,642 --> 01:27:18,346
- (gasps)
- (moans)
1588
01:27:18,712 --> 01:27:21,249
(breathing deeply)
1589
01:27:21,548 --> 01:27:27,288
♪ You're nobody
You're nobody... ♪
1590
01:27:29,891 --> 01:27:32,759
- (breathes deeply)
- (grunts)
1591
01:27:33,428 --> 01:27:34,328
(exhales)
1592
01:27:34,594 --> 01:27:36,030
- Oh.
- (smooches)
1593
01:27:36,197 --> 01:27:37,664
(Both pant)
1594
01:27:39,267 --> 01:27:40,468
(Lonni pants)
1595
01:27:40,700 --> 01:27:41,802
(smooches)
1596
01:27:42,803 --> 01:27:43,938
(Both moan)
1597
01:27:45,073 --> 01:27:46,174
(moans)
1598
01:27:47,175 --> 01:27:48,675
- (moans)
- (Kasper inhales sharply)
1599
01:27:49,410 --> 01:27:50,812
(moans)
1600
01:27:51,745 --> 01:27:54,816
- (gasps, moans)
- (Kasper moans)
1601
01:27:59,253 --> 01:28:00,188
(chuckles softly)
1602
01:28:03,324 --> 01:28:04,258
(chuckles)
1603
01:28:31,018 --> 01:28:32,920
(device chimes, whirrs)
1604
01:28:33,554 --> 01:28:36,858
And then there were three.
You've come so far...
1605
01:28:37,058 --> 01:28:39,693
Save your breath, asshole.
Just get on with it.
1606
01:28:40,094 --> 01:28:42,997
Well, someone certainly woke up
on the wrong side of the bed.
1607
01:28:43,131 --> 01:28:44,832
Mind you, a bed that
wasn't used
1608
01:28:44,966 --> 01:28:46,700
for much sleeping last night,
1609
01:28:46,834 --> 01:28:48,635
but I digress.
1610
01:28:48,802 --> 01:28:50,505
So, at the behest of Kasper,
1611
01:28:50,670 --> 01:28:53,307
without further ado,
let's find out who.
1612
01:28:55,243 --> 01:28:56,177
(device beeps)
1613
01:28:58,880 --> 01:29:00,181
(device beeping)
1614
01:29:00,414 --> 01:29:02,749
Furcas: And again,
it's Kasper Nordin by a nose,
1615
01:29:02,884 --> 01:29:04,352
followed closely by Lonni.
1616
01:29:04,552 --> 01:29:07,121
It appears,
last night's erotic escapade
1617
01:29:07,255 --> 01:29:10,491
may have paid off,
star-crossed lovers.
1618
01:29:11,292 --> 01:29:14,728
And then we have Cat,
the quiet queen of cute.
1619
01:29:15,163 --> 01:29:17,731
Looks like that routine
has finally worn thin,
1620
01:29:18,065 --> 01:29:21,169
so, let's just see
what your challenge shall be.
1621
01:29:21,869 --> 01:29:23,337
Chess Master.
1622
01:29:24,005 --> 01:29:27,308
This should be right
up your alley, Cat.
1623
01:29:27,441 --> 01:29:28,342
(device whirrs)
1624
01:29:28,476 --> 01:29:29,844
(birds chirping)
1625
01:29:31,078 --> 01:29:32,480
(keyboard clacking)
1626
01:29:33,147 --> 01:29:34,748
(telephone ringing in distance)
1627
01:29:35,850 --> 01:29:37,218
(computer beeping)
1628
01:29:49,630 --> 01:29:52,200
Found it. Grady, Oklahoma.
1629
01:29:55,336 --> 01:29:58,272
Furcas: Welcome
to the Chess Master challenge.
1630
01:29:58,673 --> 01:30:00,174
If you are victorious,
1631
01:30:00,308 --> 01:30:02,810
you will receive a free pass
to the next round.
1632
01:30:03,010 --> 01:30:07,181
But if I win, you must spin.
Any questions?
1633
01:30:08,916 --> 01:30:10,484
Then ladies first.
1634
01:30:12,119 --> 01:30:14,488
- (device whirrs)
- (clock ticking)
1635
01:30:26,033 --> 01:30:30,371
Nero: Ah, Grunfeld.
Very interesting. Not bad,
1636
01:30:30,571 --> 01:30:33,274
but not very original
for a grand master.
1637
01:30:33,574 --> 01:30:35,810
Knight to king's bishop three.
1638
01:30:46,721 --> 01:30:48,889
Pawn to king's knight three.
1639
01:30:56,030 --> 01:30:57,865
Bishop to king three.
1640
01:31:05,940 --> 01:31:07,074
(chess piece thuds)
1641
01:31:08,943 --> 01:31:10,278
Furcas: Impressive.
1642
01:31:16,783 --> 01:31:17,784
(chess piece thuds)
1643
01:31:18,119 --> 01:31:20,488
Nero:
Bishop to queen's bishop five.
1644
01:31:24,225 --> 01:31:25,159
Check.
1645
01:31:27,161 --> 01:31:29,463
Knight to king six.
1646
01:31:30,665 --> 01:31:31,565
Check.
1647
01:31:36,971 --> 01:31:39,307
Knight to queen's bishop six.
1648
01:31:41,942 --> 01:31:43,044
Check.
1649
01:31:47,581 --> 01:31:50,985
- Rook to queen's bishop six.
- (chess piece thuds)
1650
01:31:51,752 --> 01:31:52,920
Furcas: Checkmate.
1651
01:32:03,597 --> 01:32:07,101
(laughs) Well played.
1652
01:32:07,501 --> 01:32:11,706
Clearly, you were influenced
by Byrne versus Fischer 1956.
1653
01:32:11,839 --> 01:32:13,174
Game of the century.
1654
01:32:13,441 --> 01:32:16,277
You are truly formidable.
I mean that sincerely.
1655
01:32:16,544 --> 01:32:20,948
But still you did not win,
so, you must spin.
1656
01:32:49,677 --> 01:32:51,779
(device beeping)
1657
01:32:52,713 --> 01:32:56,517
Furcas: Ladies and gentlemen,
Cat Zim has passed the buck.
1658
01:32:56,818 --> 01:33:00,856
Another Funhouse first.This means a new challenge
1659
01:33:00,988 --> 01:33:03,457
will be passed
onto Lonni Byrne.
1660
01:33:05,192 --> 01:33:07,194
(device chimes)
1661
01:33:08,229 --> 01:33:11,565
Get out of my way. It's over.
Get out of my way!
1662
01:33:11,699 --> 01:33:14,769
- Let me take her place.
- That's not how this works.
1663
01:33:15,169 --> 01:33:16,270
Please, just let me
take her place.
1664
01:33:16,537 --> 01:33:18,506
Furcas:
A valiant gesture, Mr. Nordin,
1665
01:33:18,706 --> 01:33:22,076
- but there are in fact rules.
- You make the rules!
1666
01:33:22,410 --> 01:33:23,611
What do you fucking care?
1667
01:33:23,744 --> 01:33:26,313
Please, just let me do
the challenge.
1668
01:33:26,480 --> 01:33:27,415
You are indeed
1669
01:33:27,581 --> 01:33:30,718
a pestilent little fuck,
Kasper Nordin.
1670
01:33:31,419 --> 01:33:34,722
But seeing as I do love
a good Harlequin romance,
1671
01:33:34,890 --> 01:33:38,626
and this situation definitely
has all of the trappings of one,
1672
01:33:38,793 --> 01:33:40,896
albeit dripping with cheese,
1673
01:33:41,462 --> 01:33:44,365
still I will allow you
to take her place.
1674
01:33:44,732 --> 01:33:47,735
No, no, no.
No, you can't do this.
1675
01:33:47,869 --> 01:33:51,739
- No, you're not doing this. No!
- It's okay. It's okay. Shh.
1676
01:33:52,273 --> 01:33:53,641
- (smooches)
- It's okay.
1677
01:33:54,608 --> 01:33:57,178
(laughs)
1678
01:34:01,949 --> 01:34:03,083
(sobs)
1679
01:34:06,220 --> 01:34:07,354
(footsteps approaching)
1680
01:34:18,199 --> 01:34:23,270
(indistinct chatter over radio)
1681
01:34:23,804 --> 01:34:28,442
Kasper Nordin, let's just see
what your challenge will be.
1682
01:34:30,010 --> 01:34:32,346
Pistols At Dawn! How exciting.
1683
01:34:32,580 --> 01:34:36,517
But who will you face?
I know, Lonni Byrne!
1684
01:34:38,185 --> 01:34:43,859
What? No, no, no. Fuck you!
We had a deal! We had a deal!
1685
01:34:44,058 --> 01:34:45,259
Furcas: I told you
1686
01:34:45,693 --> 01:34:47,528
there would be no heroes here,
and there certainly
1687
01:34:47,661 --> 01:34:51,499
would be no martyrs. Like
you said, I make the rules!
1688
01:34:52,066 --> 01:34:54,568
If you had just kept
your filthy trap shut, Kasper,
1689
01:34:54,702 --> 01:34:56,504
we wouldn't be in this
position, would we?
1690
01:34:56,770 --> 01:34:59,607
Now,
you will each receive a pistol.
1691
01:34:59,908 --> 01:35:04,111
Stand back-to-back.
On my count, take ten paces,
1692
01:35:04,245 --> 01:35:05,847
turn, and fire.
1693
01:35:06,013 --> 01:35:08,616
If you fail to participate,
or if you refuse to fire,
1694
01:35:08,749 --> 01:35:11,218
you'll each have to face
the wheel.
1695
01:35:12,286 --> 01:35:15,389
Take your pistols
and positions, please.
1696
01:35:18,927 --> 01:35:20,294
- Or...
- (light clicks)
1697
01:35:20,528 --> 01:35:22,263
...if you prefer,
we could always put Lonni
1698
01:35:22,429 --> 01:35:23,664
in the Brazen Bull,
1699
01:35:23,832 --> 01:35:26,233
cook her alive,
and then force feed-her to you
1700
01:35:26,367 --> 01:35:28,602
for dinner. Totally your call.
1701
01:35:34,275 --> 01:35:35,676
- It's okay.
- (sobs)
1702
01:35:35,844 --> 01:35:36,744
It's okay.
1703
01:35:37,311 --> 01:35:39,613
- (sobs)
- (gun clatters)
1704
01:35:48,823 --> 01:35:49,824
(sobs)
1705
01:35:52,928 --> 01:35:57,464
Furcas: Goodnight, goodnight.
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
1706
01:35:57,698 --> 01:36:00,601
so, I shall say goodnight
till it be morrow.
1707
01:36:00,768 --> 01:36:02,770
On my count. One...
1708
01:36:04,071 --> 01:36:05,205
- Two.
- ...two...
1709
01:36:06,307 --> 01:36:07,441
three...
1710
01:36:08,709 --> 01:36:09,811
four...
1711
01:36:11,211 --> 01:36:12,379
five...
1712
01:36:13,581 --> 01:36:14,515
six...
1713
01:36:15,716 --> 01:36:16,617
seven...
1714
01:36:17,986 --> 01:36:19,086
eight...
1715
01:36:19,921 --> 01:36:21,255
nine...
1716
01:36:23,157 --> 01:36:24,291
ten.
1717
01:36:26,027 --> 01:36:27,194
(gun cocks)
1718
01:36:33,500 --> 01:36:36,437
- (lid clangs)
- (bomb beeping)
1719
01:36:40,008 --> 01:36:41,675
SWAT Officer:
Get back! We've got a Bomb!
1720
01:36:41,810 --> 01:36:42,743
Get the Bomb Squad!
1721
01:36:44,378 --> 01:36:45,847
(bomb beeping erratically)
1722
01:36:56,223 --> 01:36:57,324
(gun cocks)
1723
01:37:09,370 --> 01:37:10,671
- (gunshots)
- (gasps)
1724
01:37:11,271 --> 01:37:12,406
(gasps)
1725
01:37:14,541 --> 01:37:15,509
(gasps)
1726
01:37:20,015 --> 01:37:21,448
We have a winner!
1727
01:37:22,716 --> 01:37:24,151
Cat Zim!
1728
01:37:31,191 --> 01:37:32,292
(Panda Helpers applauding)
1729
01:38:18,006 --> 01:38:19,640
(thunder rumbling)
1730
01:38:20,741 --> 01:38:23,644
Well, it's all over
but the proverbial crying,
1731
01:38:23,777 --> 01:38:25,814
culminating
in a Shakespearean tragedy
1732
01:38:25,947 --> 01:38:27,115
for the ages.
1733
01:38:27,448 --> 01:38:29,084
Personally, I think
Kasper and Lonni,
1734
01:38:29,216 --> 01:38:31,152
should have turned their guns
on those dirty pandas
1735
01:38:31,285 --> 01:38:33,554
and shot their way out
Butch and Sundance style,
1736
01:38:33,754 --> 01:38:36,323
made their way down to Vegas
and gotten married.
1737
01:38:36,825 --> 01:38:39,894
But then again,
those pandas had machine guns.
1738
01:38:40,661 --> 01:38:42,296
And then the one
who doesn't even speak
1739
01:38:42,529 --> 01:38:46,266
wins the whole thing? (scoffs)
I guess, less truly is more.
1740
01:38:47,068 --> 01:38:48,335
Or maybe
it was the masturbating.
1741
01:38:48,469 --> 01:38:49,536
Who knows?
1742
01:38:50,071 --> 01:38:51,873
Pete Sake, out.
1743
01:38:53,174 --> 01:38:54,976
- (birds chirping)
- (footsteps approaching)
1744
01:38:57,411 --> 01:38:58,545
(Cat grunts softly)
1745
01:39:06,221 --> 01:39:07,621
News Anchor 4: Cat Zim,
the lone survivor
1746
01:39:07,755 --> 01:39:09,256
of the horrific reality series,
1747
01:39:09,389 --> 01:39:10,657
Funhouse,
was found this morning
1748
01:39:10,791 --> 01:39:12,459
by a motorist
on the remote road
1749
01:39:12,726 --> 01:39:15,596
near the town of Florence,
on the Oregon coast.
1750
01:39:16,363 --> 01:39:17,932
(indistinct chatter on TV)
1751
01:39:24,738 --> 01:39:26,141
News Anchor 4:
The grisly discovery
1752
01:39:26,273 --> 01:39:27,641
was made by the FBI SWAT team
1753
01:39:27,775 --> 01:39:29,510
who raided the compound.
The device,
1754
01:39:29,643 --> 01:39:31,779
which was initially believed
to be a bomb,
1755
01:39:31,913 --> 01:39:34,215
was later found
to be a decoy server,
1756
01:39:34,348 --> 01:39:35,749
planted by the culprits
1757
01:39:35,884 --> 01:39:37,684
to divert authorities
from their trail.
1758
01:39:37,952 --> 01:39:39,988
As of now,
there are still no suspects
1759
01:39:40,121 --> 01:39:41,222
in the case.
1760
01:39:41,655 --> 01:39:43,191
Welcome backto the Chuck Thorn Show.
1761
01:39:43,357 --> 01:39:46,227
I've been speaking with
tech titan, Nero Alexander,
1762
01:39:46,360 --> 01:39:47,962
owner of over 70 companies,
1763
01:39:48,096 --> 01:39:51,465
ranging from construction,
to biofuels, pharmaceuticals,
1764
01:39:51,698 --> 01:39:53,902
AI, and now,
even nanotechnology.
1765
01:39:54,235 --> 01:39:57,538
Nero, now, you've accomplished
what so few entrepreneurs have.
1766
01:39:57,671 --> 01:39:58,907
You've built an empire
1767
01:39:59,040 --> 01:40:00,674
with literally no help
from anyone.
1768
01:40:00,842 --> 01:40:03,443
You didn't inherit any wealth,
whatsoever. And at one point,
1769
01:40:03,577 --> 01:40:06,014
you were the youngest
self-made billionaire,
1770
01:40:06,181 --> 01:40:08,283
that's with a B, on the planet.
1771
01:40:08,682 --> 01:40:12,553
I'm semi-retired now.
I'm trying to have more fun.
1772
01:40:13,154 --> 01:40:14,688
So, to all the budding
entrepreneurs
1773
01:40:14,823 --> 01:40:16,790
out there that look up to you
as an example
1774
01:40:16,925 --> 01:40:19,326
of what's possible,
what do you say to them?
1775
01:40:19,828 --> 01:40:21,930
I just feel the majority
of the youth today
1776
01:40:22,130 --> 01:40:25,332
want something for nothing.
They want fame and fortune
1777
01:40:25,499 --> 01:40:27,268
for really doing
as little as possible.
1778
01:40:27,836 --> 01:40:30,404
It's the scientist
who's the role model,
1779
01:40:30,637 --> 01:40:33,373
the physicist, the engineer,
the inventor.
1780
01:40:33,975 --> 01:40:35,776
Not someone
whose only contribution
1781
01:40:35,910 --> 01:40:40,414
to humanity is a sex tape,
or a reality TV show,
1782
01:40:40,882 --> 01:40:43,284
or millions
of social media followers.
1783
01:40:43,417 --> 01:40:46,821
I mean, it's madness. (laughs)
1784
01:40:48,223 --> 01:40:49,723
So, I guess, I would say,
1785
01:40:49,991 --> 01:40:53,127
do something that contributes
to society.
1786
01:40:53,962 --> 01:40:55,063
I know I have.
1787
01:41:34,568 --> 01:41:35,870
Cat Zim.
1788
01:41:38,306 --> 01:41:42,010
Why, you are indeed
full of surprises, aren't you?
1789
01:41:46,513 --> 01:41:47,614
(grunts softly)
1790
01:41:56,391 --> 01:41:57,524
(smooches)
1791
01:42:00,161 --> 01:42:02,864
Did you have fun?
1792
01:42:04,065 --> 01:42:06,533
(chuckles) Yes.
1793
01:42:07,567 --> 01:42:08,769
But next time...
1794
01:42:09,837 --> 01:42:13,774
I'm not letting you win
at chess. (chuckles)
1795
01:42:17,378 --> 01:42:18,779
(smooches)
1796
01:42:22,417 --> 01:42:23,617
(smooches)
1797
01:42:29,016 --> 01:42:34,016
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
1798
01:42:36,563 --> 01:42:38,866
♪ How many votes
Is one life worth ♪
1799
01:42:39,167 --> 01:42:41,468
♪ Before you rest
Into the earth ♪
1800
01:42:41,668 --> 01:42:43,972
♪ Pain is all you ever see ♪
1801
01:42:44,105 --> 01:42:46,540
♪ Hate will let
The one will leave ♪
1802
01:42:46,773 --> 01:42:48,876
♪ How many likes for a life? ♪
1803
01:42:49,077 --> 01:42:51,511
♪ Decency is under the knife ♪
1804
01:42:51,879 --> 01:42:54,115
♪ All media is social now ♪
1805
01:42:54,548 --> 01:42:56,583
♪ A multi-media pile drive ♪
1806
01:42:56,851 --> 01:43:01,255
♪ Let's go to the Funhouse! ♪
1807
01:43:17,005 --> 01:43:19,140
♪ Beyond the door
The killer awaits ♪
1808
01:43:19,340 --> 01:43:24,112
♪ Spin the wheel, seal you fate
Miss the rack, best of luck ♪
1809
01:43:24,245 --> 01:43:27,015
♪ Pray to God
You pass the buck ♪
1810
01:43:27,148 --> 01:43:29,516
♪ Ignorance has swept
the nation ♪
1811
01:43:29,716 --> 01:43:32,053
♪ Closer to annihilation ♪
1812
01:43:32,186 --> 01:43:37,025
♪ A remedy is on the line,
Welcome to the bigger crime ♪
1813
01:43:37,392 --> 01:43:41,863
♪ Let's go to the Funhouse! ♪
1814
01:44:37,919 --> 01:44:42,622
♪ Let's go to the Funhouse! ♪
1815
01:44:58,039 --> 01:45:02,877
♪ Let's go to the Funhouse! ♪
1816
01:45:23,297 --> 01:45:28,002
♪ Let's go to the Funhouse! ♪
1817
01:45:30,938 --> 01:45:33,207
- (line ringing)
- Yes, Gary speaking.
1818
01:45:34,242 --> 01:45:38,678
Nevin? No, he's on some show,
Funhouse something.
1819
01:45:39,514 --> 01:45:40,780
- What?
- (waves crashing)
1820
01:45:41,015 --> 01:45:42,749
- He's dead?
- (birds squawking)
1821
01:45:43,650 --> 01:45:45,186
Human piñata?
1822
01:45:45,987 --> 01:45:47,188
That's fucked up.
1823
01:45:49,689 --> 01:45:52,093
Uh, did we still get the 100K?
1824
01:45:55,129 --> 01:45:58,299
Fuck me.
Can I have another Mai Tai?
141269
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