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1
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- How much is this?
2
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- That's uh...35 dollars.
3
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- This one?
4
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- That's 31, but it's a... solid silver.
5
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- For 31 dollars I could buy the holy grail.
6
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- Shit
7
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Oh it's a, it's you Irv.
8
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- Oh Melvin, did I see a flick last night!
9
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You see, Tina Russell is this nun...
10
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- Yeah I seen it, lseenit
11
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- You didn't tell me!
12
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- Well I ain't seen you.
13
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- But I saw you yesterday!
14
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Ooooh,
15
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You took a two hour lunch again.
16
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What did you think of the picture?
17
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- Eh, it was good.
18
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- Oh, and that green sequence,
19
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When Tina's sister and her husband, take off her clothes
20
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and put the boots to her
21
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Awww
22
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Especially...especially when they remove her undergarments!
23
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And the sister warms her up, while the guy gets his Shmuck ready.
24
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- Wait a second...l only got one, I didn't know you were coming.
25
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- I had breakfast already.
26
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Look, how pink...
27
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How nice,
28
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looks like Tina Russell's before the guy poked in his Shmuck!
29
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Looks good enough to eat.
30
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Ain't you gonna eat it?
31
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- Yeah, yeah after I finish dusting
32
00:05:17,726 --> 00:05:20,980
Well uh, yes that was an interesting motion picture
33
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from a, from a purely intellectual standpoint.
34
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- Also very horny!
35
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Last night when I got home
36
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I crept up the stairs,
37
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nice...
38
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Debbie was in bed reading...
39
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The first words out of her mouth
40
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Irving, don't start already!
41
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Today was my day at the hairdressers!
42
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- I may even write a book.
43
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Pornography in film,
44
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an intellectual study, the impact on modern man.
45
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- We spent the whole night under a tent.
46
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A tent with a throbbing center pole.
47
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Next time I'll bring my rain coat to the theatre
48
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Wear it in my lap, like all them other guys.
49
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That'll show her.
50
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That'll show her.
51
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We'll see how she likes sleeping under a tent
52
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with a chronically collapsed center pole.
53
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Don't tell me such movies don't turn you on.
54
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- L\/Ie?
55
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With all the action I get?
56
00:06:19,288 --> 00:06:20,414
- So?
57
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:23,000
So what did you do last night?
58
00:06:24,293 --> 00:06:28,172
- Well last night it was June Madigan, again.
59
00:06:29,048 --> 00:06:30,215
- June Madigan?
60
00:06:30,633 --> 00:06:33,302
Is that the curver you picked up at the hopscotch bar?
61
00:06:33,802 --> 00:06:38,140
- No, no, no, June Madigan the pretty young housewife from East 73rd Street.
62
00:06:38,557 --> 00:06:42,811
You know, the one with the, handsome, scrapping steel worker husband.
63
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The one who is irresitably attracted to me
64
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- Married women, they are always dangerous.
65
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What if that goy, that steelworker should drop in unexpectedly.
66
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- A chance that must be taken.
67
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,705
I am sure his disability pension would take care of him.
68
00:07:02,164 --> 00:07:05,000
Oh I am a coiled Cobra when I am surprised.
69
00:07:07,419 --> 00:07:09,838
Anyway like I told you before,
70
00:07:10,172 --> 00:07:13,133
June has been dying to get me and her together with her friend Agnes.
71
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You know the three of us in one bed together, you know?
72
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So...
73
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last night,
74
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Agne's husband was out bowling,
75
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and uh, Jesus
76
00:07:30,109 --> 00:07:32,027
- So who is watching the dry goods?
77
00:07:32,403 --> 00:07:35,864
- Oh I just dropped in for a minute, Mrs. Finkelfarb, to see how Melvin
78
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was doing.
79
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- Mmhmm.
80
00:07:41,620 --> 00:07:43,539
We had any customers yet?
81
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- Momma, don't start already.
82
00:07:45,416 --> 00:07:47,251
- Uh, from this you earn a living,
83
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Buying dreck and selling hazari
84
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- Momma, I do a good business.
85
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- Mmm
86
00:07:53,966 --> 00:07:55,884
- Alright, not a good business,
87
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but a good business.
88
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- For this? For this you gave up college?
89
00:08:00,139 --> 00:08:02,224
Two more years and you would have been an accountant.
90
00:08:02,558 --> 00:08:03,892
- Ma, I don't want to be an accountant.
91
00:08:05,019 --> 00:08:08,397
- No you want to buy dreck, and sell hazarai.
92
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:12,860
- Look Ma, buying dreck and selling hazarai, it gives me the few pennies
93
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:14,194
lneed
94
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,071
and the time I need to become a writer.
95
00:08:16,613 --> 00:08:17,613
- A writer?
96
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A writer he wants to become!
97
00:08:20,117 --> 00:08:22,619
At a time when people are only reading dirty books,
98
00:08:22,995 --> 00:08:26,206
like Portnoy's Complaint and the Charlie Chaplin report
99
00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:29,960
Ah, you have got a customer!
100
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:35,382
Customers, huh, they got long hair,
101
00:08:35,966 --> 00:08:37,634
patched blue jeans,
102
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,971
and holes in their undergarments I bet ya,
103
00:08:41,805 --> 00:08:45,225
Uh, the one with the beard is a boy, I hope.
104
00:08:46,101 --> 00:08:47,686
Well Melvin,
105
00:08:48,020 --> 00:08:49,480
Take care of your customers,
106
00:08:50,022 --> 00:08:51,440
Dinner will be waiting.
107
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- Oh Baby
108
00:11:02,571 --> 00:11:04,364
- Uh nurse, send in Mrs. Finch.
109
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:07,367
- Mrs. Dogrun, and Mrs. Carpenter are also waiting.
110
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:09,828
- There'll be no waiting here, we have three beds,
111
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I mean we have three examination tables, working at all times.
112
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Tell them to get undressed also.
113
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Ah.
114
00:11:21,256 --> 00:11:24,760
- Oh Doctor, what an instrument!
115
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May I examine it?
116
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- Of course.
117
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Oh!
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00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:50,702
Pardon me Madam, I have other patients who I must care to.
119
00:11:51,787 --> 00:11:53,622
- Doctor, hurry back!
120
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:57,834
- And what seems to be your problem Mrs. Carpenter?
121
00:11:58,502 --> 00:12:02,589
- It's just that my little thing runs and oozes all the time.
122
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,675
Especially when I think about you Doctor.
123
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,802
- Got some leaky plumbing eh?
124
00:12:07,135 --> 00:12:08,720
Here let me plug the hole.
125
00:12:09,054 --> 00:12:10,389
Temporary packing of course.
126
00:12:11,056 --> 00:12:12,933
Oooh!
127
00:12:18,313 --> 00:12:20,774
Pardon me Mrs. Carpenter.
128
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- But wait a minute!
129
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- So you got leaky plumbing eh?
130
00:13:31,762 --> 00:13:34,222
Well here, let me plug the hole.
131
00:13:40,729 --> 00:13:43,440
Temporary packing of course.
132
00:14:36,493 --> 00:14:39,204
- Master I am here to heed your wishes.
133
00:14:40,664 --> 00:14:42,416
You have five wishes.
134
00:14:43,125 --> 00:14:46,211
- Well gee, I uh, I always thought three wishes was the standard.
135
00:14:47,212 --> 00:14:50,173
- That was years ago, when three wishes went someplace.
136
00:14:50,841 --> 00:14:52,801
There's been inflation you know?
137
00:14:55,011 --> 00:14:58,306
Well I'm waiting master, to grant you the first of your wishes.
138
00:14:58,682 --> 00:15:00,434
- Well wait a minute, don't rush me.
139
00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:04,354
I mean a guy can't have the responsibility of five wishes
140
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being pushed up on him, just like that.
141
00:15:06,148 --> 00:15:08,108
- Yes kind and gentle master.
142
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I am sorry master.
143
00:15:11,153 --> 00:15:13,238
- Well just because I am a kind and gentle master,
144
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well don't get the idea I'm easy.
145
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- I am standing patiently master, awaitng your first wish.
146
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,497
- Well I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
147
00:15:26,460 --> 00:15:29,671
How come you came out of that jar like that? I mean poof?
148
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,048
- Five hundred years ago.
149
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Abdul El Rasheed the sorcerer,
150
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condemned me to imprisonment in that jar.
151
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I could only be freed to serve a master.
152
00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:43,977
Who rubbed the inside of my jar.
153
00:15:45,103 --> 00:15:47,731
You succeeded in rubbing the inside of my jar.
154
00:15:48,106 --> 00:15:50,066
- Now look I don't want you telling people how
155
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I succeeded in rubbing the inside of your jar.
156
00:15:54,196 --> 00:15:55,363
- As you wish master.
157
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- Quick hide.
158
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- Where?
159
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- Anyplace, get back in your bottle.
160
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,372
- Well I can't on such short notice, it's a big deal.
161
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,917
- Some magic genie you are.
162
00:16:13,215 --> 00:16:15,008
- Goldstein, the tenant, called! He said there
163
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:16,968
was smoke coming from underneath your door!
164
00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:21,347
Who's she?
165
00:16:21,973 --> 00:16:22,973
- A customer Momma,
166
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:24,016
- A customer?
167
00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:25,477
In the back room?
168
00:16:25,894 --> 00:16:27,812
Where's the rest of her clothes?
169
00:16:28,146 --> 00:16:29,940
- That's the way they dress where she comes from.
170
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- A foreigner eh?
171
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,070
She looks like someboy out of the,
172
00:16:35,403 --> 00:16:37,405
I wouldn't mention the name nights.
173
00:16:37,822 --> 00:16:39,741
- Momma why were you carrying that can?
174
00:16:40,534 --> 00:16:42,369
- Well because when Goldstein called I thought you had
175
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,412
a fire, so I came to put it out!
176
00:16:47,791 --> 00:16:50,001
- But Momma, that's paint thinner, it burns!
177
00:16:51,294 --> 00:16:53,505
- Oy I gotta get my glasses checked.
178
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,091
- Momma, you don't wear glasses.
179
00:16:56,466 --> 00:17:00,095
- See I gotta get glasses, so I can have them checked.
180
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A customer huh?
181
00:17:03,265 --> 00:17:04,265
Melvin,
182
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listen,
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you know a nice, eligible man like you
184
00:17:08,478 --> 00:17:10,272
has got to be very careful,
185
00:17:10,605 --> 00:17:12,399
those people,
186
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:16,111
they believe that a man should have more than one wife,
187
00:17:16,528 --> 00:17:20,115
that his mother should share him with!
188
00:17:26,580 --> 00:17:28,081
- Well,
189
00:17:28,456 --> 00:17:29,916
we're alone again.
190
00:17:30,375 --> 00:17:32,294
- Just wait a minute and let me think, huh?
191
00:17:32,627 --> 00:17:33,795
- Oh master,
192
00:17:34,337 --> 00:17:37,966
your wildest desires are at your fingertips!
193
00:17:38,341 --> 00:17:39,968
You need only command me.
194
00:17:40,343 --> 00:17:42,137
- Look my Mommas pushing me from one side, you gotta push me
195
00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:43,471
from the other?
196
00:17:47,142 --> 00:17:50,186
Jesus nobody can read, I got a closed sign out there!
197
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:54,649
- Oh master, I must tell you, I'll have to hang around until your five
198
00:17:54,983 --> 00:17:56,276
wishes are used up.
199
00:17:57,027 --> 00:17:59,904
So if you don't see me, and you want me,
200
00:18:00,822 --> 00:18:02,741
Just clap three times,
201
00:18:03,074 --> 00:18:05,577
orjust rub the inside of my jar a little,
202
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:06,910
I like that.
203
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,039
- Alright already!
204
00:18:10,248 --> 00:18:12,167
Oh my god, it's Janet Geckle.
205
00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:15,754
I met her two years ago, at a singles night, up at the Concord.
206
00:18:16,421 --> 00:18:18,465
Quick, quick, what's your name?
207
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:20,634
- Hamara.
208
00:18:37,233 --> 00:18:39,152
- Oh, hi Melvin!
209
00:18:39,694 --> 00:18:42,197
I'm so glad I caught you in.
210
00:18:47,118 --> 00:18:50,914
Standing here, I, I feel like one ofyouranfiques
211
00:18:51,247 --> 00:18:52,247
on display.
212
00:18:55,126 --> 00:18:57,003
Can't we go in the back room?
213
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,478
- Uh Janet, there's someone I have always wanted you to meet.
214
00:19:13,895 --> 00:19:16,523
- Let me put on my glasses Melvin.
215
00:19:18,983 --> 00:19:21,236
Who did you want me to meet Melvin?
216
00:19:21,569 --> 00:19:24,155
- Oh, uh, my aunt Sophie, you would like my aunt Sophie.
217
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:28,159
- The way you talked, I thought she was here.
218
00:19:29,828 --> 00:19:31,705
I'm so glad we are alone.
219
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:33,123
- You are?
220
00:19:33,790 --> 00:19:35,709
- Ah, Melvin,
221
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:37,877
I have so much to tell you.
222
00:19:38,670 --> 00:19:41,631
It's so nice to have a friend, to be intimate with.
223
00:19:42,090 --> 00:19:43,883
- To be intimate with?
224
00:19:45,510 --> 00:19:48,471
- Someone you can feel safe with.
225
00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:50,890
Someone who's not going to make a pass at you
226
00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:52,517
every time you turn around.
227
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,771
Ah, Melvin, Melvin.
228
00:19:57,355 --> 00:19:58,690
I found him!
229
00:19:59,107 --> 00:20:00,525
I found him.
230
00:20:01,693 --> 00:20:03,611
The man I was born for.
231
00:20:04,279 --> 00:20:06,197
- Another Doctor right?
232
00:20:06,865 --> 00:20:07,991
- A gynocologist.
233
00:20:08,366 --> 00:20:10,076
Dr. Vladamir Barker!
234
00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:14,205
My heart races when I speak the name.
235
00:20:14,539 --> 00:20:17,125
Feel!
236
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:19,627
Feel it racing?
237
00:20:20,128 --> 00:20:22,630
- Oh it's racing, it's racing!
238
00:20:23,047 --> 00:20:25,341
Oh, it's me that's racing.
239
00:20:26,676 --> 00:20:28,595
- He's handsome,
240
00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:30,847
distinguished,
241
00:20:31,222 --> 00:20:33,141
he charges forty dollars a visit,
242
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:35,852
no house calls.
243
00:20:36,186 --> 00:20:37,937
And he respects me as a woman.
244
00:20:38,813 --> 00:20:41,691
Not as something to paw and fondle.
245
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:47,446
- Well,
246
00:20:47,739 --> 00:20:48,907
he sounds a,
247
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,075
he sounds a,
248
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,621
- Melvin you are such a great friend!
249
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:57,207
I had to tell you.
250
00:21:00,752 --> 00:21:02,670
I've got to get back to work.
251
00:21:06,591 --> 00:21:08,843
- Dr. Vladamir Parker
252
00:21:09,177 --> 00:21:10,929
Obviously a pseudonym.
253
00:21:35,954 --> 00:21:37,497
Where did you come from?
254
00:21:37,831 --> 00:21:39,707
- I was hanging around.
255
00:21:40,041 --> 00:21:43,503
Boy do I ever love the way you rub the inside of my jar.
256
00:21:43,837 --> 00:21:45,588
- You mean you was here all the time?
257
00:21:45,922 --> 00:21:46,923
- Invisible.
258
00:21:47,382 --> 00:21:48,675
And now oh master,
259
00:21:49,008 --> 00:21:51,803
Your wildest desires are at your fingertips.
260
00:21:52,428 --> 00:21:54,305
You need only command.
261
00:21:54,764 --> 00:21:56,891
- Well..ok...ok,
262
00:21:57,267 --> 00:21:59,185
I want to go to bed with ah,
263
00:22:00,186 --> 00:22:01,186
with...
264
00:22:04,148 --> 00:22:06,067
Three girls, all at once.
265
00:22:06,442 --> 00:22:09,445
And I wanna be a doctor, and look like Harry Reems.
266
00:22:11,114 --> 00:22:12,240
- That's your wish?
267
00:22:12,574 --> 00:22:13,574
- That's my wish.
268
00:22:14,701 --> 00:22:15,743
- Alright.
269
00:22:16,494 --> 00:22:17,745
You must close your eyes.
270
00:22:18,371 --> 00:22:20,290
- Why must I close my eyes?
271
00:22:20,623 --> 00:22:22,375
- You must close your eyes for the spell to work.
272
00:22:24,377 --> 00:22:26,921
You're peeking!
273
00:22:27,255 --> 00:22:30,341
- Well uh, what's gonna happen so bad I can't see it?
274
00:22:31,801 --> 00:22:33,928
- Don't you want to look like Harry Reems?
275
00:22:34,262 --> 00:22:37,307
Be a doctor and go to bed with three girls at once?
276
00:22:41,519 --> 00:22:43,396
- Hey watch it with the spinning, I get sick to my stomach very easily.
277
00:23:01,581 --> 00:23:03,499
You're a phony genie, it didn't work.
278
00:23:06,044 --> 00:23:08,671
- Hi what happened to your voice, do you have a cold?
279
00:23:09,964 --> 00:23:12,967
- You're still a phony genie, I ordered three girls!
280
00:23:21,225 --> 00:23:24,145
- You poor dear, lie down, we will make you come- fortable.
281
00:23:24,729 --> 00:23:26,981
- That's more my style.
282
00:28:13,434 --> 00:28:14,894
- Melvin!
283
00:28:15,228 --> 00:28:16,229
What are you doing?
284
00:28:16,729 --> 00:28:19,941
- I am playing doctor with Suzy, Ona, and Edna Momma.
285
00:28:21,317 --> 00:28:24,570
- Melvin, it's time to go home.
286
00:28:24,987 --> 00:28:27,782
- I can't Momma, I am giving Edna a thorough internal.
287
00:28:28,866 --> 00:28:31,410
- What kind of meshuggeneh talk is this?
288
00:28:32,036 --> 00:28:34,622
You're gonna give Susan a thorough internal?
289
00:28:35,331 --> 00:28:37,541
- Momma, how did you get here?
290
00:28:38,334 --> 00:28:39,627
- I walked.
291
00:28:40,211 --> 00:28:42,129
I'm gonna take a subway for one block?
292
00:28:42,588 --> 00:28:44,090
- Where are the others?
293
00:28:45,007 --> 00:28:50,346
- Who would be here? Except Edna, Ona, and Susan?
294
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:09,240
- Momma, why are you looking at me like that?
295
00:29:10,408 --> 00:29:12,576
- Do you feel alright Melvin?
296
00:29:13,911 --> 00:29:15,830
- I feel alright.
297
00:29:32,388 --> 00:29:35,641
- That's the way it was Sadie, he was on the floor, I don't know what
298
00:29:35,975 --> 00:29:37,059
to do.
299
00:29:37,935 --> 00:29:40,229
I think I hear him coming, let's talk about milk men.
300
00:29:44,525 --> 00:29:48,821
So Sadie, if you're not satisfied, take on my milk man.
301
00:29:49,864 --> 00:29:52,658
He's young, he's tall, he'll give the
302
00:29:52,992 --> 00:29:57,413
heavy cream like you never had before.
303
00:29:58,998 --> 00:30:01,208
I think he's gone now.
304
00:30:03,878 --> 00:30:08,674
Alright, yes. I am so worried about my Melvin,
305
00:30:09,008 --> 00:30:11,510
I just don't know what to do.
306
00:30:11,844 --> 00:30:12,844
What Sadie?
307
00:30:14,388 --> 00:30:18,267
Of course he knows if he plays with himself too much
308
00:30:18,601 --> 00:30:21,145
his brain will turn into overcooked Kasha.
309
00:30:21,479 --> 00:30:23,731
What else could a mother do but to tell him?
310
00:30:50,091 --> 00:30:51,091
- Melvin!
311
00:30:51,384 --> 00:30:52,510
Vos makhstu?
312
00:30:52,843 --> 00:30:53,843
- Fine.
313
00:30:56,806 --> 00:30:58,349
- What's wrong with you?
314
00:30:58,724 --> 00:31:01,227
- It's my mother, I think she is having an affair.
315
00:31:03,437 --> 00:31:04,897
- Your mothers not an old woman
316
00:31:06,857 --> 00:31:08,859
When we were in highschool, I used to have the roaring
317
00:31:09,193 --> 00:31:10,236
hots for her.
318
00:31:11,695 --> 00:31:13,114
Who is the lucky man?
319
00:31:13,447 --> 00:31:14,698
- Her milk man.
320
00:31:15,032 --> 00:31:16,409
- Petrosky, I know him.
321
00:31:16,784 --> 00:31:18,035
He's a shtarker,
322
00:31:18,369 --> 00:31:20,121
He's taking care of half the gals in the neighborhood.
323
00:31:22,832 --> 00:31:26,043
And, you're not the only one that troubles.
324
00:31:26,794 --> 00:31:29,130
I told you last week, my brother in law came over to spend a
325
00:31:29,463 --> 00:31:30,589
few days us.
326
00:31:30,923 --> 00:31:32,800
Such a loafer!
327
00:31:33,134 --> 00:31:35,177
Spends so much time on the sofa we are thinking about having him
328
00:31:35,511 --> 00:31:36,511
fitted for slipcovers.
329
00:31:36,762 --> 00:31:37,847
- All these years.
330
00:31:38,597 --> 00:31:41,642
Whole string of plumbers, TV repairmen,
331
00:31:42,143 --> 00:31:44,478
icemen, and she thought I never suspected it.
332
00:31:45,563 --> 00:31:47,648
Now it's Petrosky the milk man,
333
00:31:47,982 --> 00:31:50,609
and now she is already giving references of him to her friend Sadie.
334
00:31:51,068 --> 00:31:52,361
- What an appetite.
335
00:31:52,695 --> 00:31:55,072
It was five days before I knew the guy was growing a beard.
336
00:31:55,531 --> 00:31:57,116
He never gets his face from behind the plate.
337
00:31:57,450 --> 00:32:00,244
- Petroksy, he's young, he's tall, he's good looking,
338
00:32:00,578 --> 00:32:04,206
and on top of it all he gives them the heavy cream like
339
00:32:04,540 --> 00:32:06,292
they never had it before.
340
00:32:06,959 --> 00:32:11,046
- Petrosky, he's our milk man too.
341
00:32:11,589 --> 00:32:13,507
With his reputation, I might be worried.
342
00:32:13,966 --> 00:32:16,343
But he would be hard to find a day where my wife hasn't been to the
343
00:32:16,677 --> 00:32:17,677
hairdresser.
344
00:32:19,430 --> 00:32:22,099
Melvin, my boy, I have to get back to the store.
345
00:32:41,619 --> 00:32:45,206
- What is your desire master?
346
00:32:46,457 --> 00:32:48,375
- Don't you ever get back inside your bottle?
347
00:32:48,709 --> 00:32:50,711
- It's more fun hanging around.
348
00:32:51,045 --> 00:32:54,715
'Sides, I can see when you're going to rub the inside of my jar.
349
00:32:56,383 --> 00:33:00,971
Not one of my previous masters ever rubbed the inside of my jar with
350
00:33:01,430 --> 00:33:03,516
such, such technique!
351
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:05,600
Master,
352
00:33:06,644 --> 00:33:07,853
Master, what is your pleasure?
353
00:33:09,104 --> 00:33:10,147
- Well you see,
354
00:33:10,481 --> 00:33:12,358
there's this milk man, a plain ordinary milk man.
355
00:33:12,691 --> 00:33:14,527
- Oh you mean Petrosky?
356
00:33:15,152 --> 00:33:18,822
- Hey how do you know Petrosky? You haven't been shtupping him too?
357
00:33:20,032 --> 00:33:22,743
- What kind of a genie do you think I am?
358
00:33:23,285 --> 00:33:26,539
I only know of him because you have been talking about him.
359
00:33:27,081 --> 00:33:29,291
- You know you are sneaky, and I don't like the idea of you
360
00:33:29,625 --> 00:33:31,669
hanging around watching everything I am doing.
361
00:33:34,421 --> 00:33:37,049
Well hey, I told you not to follow me around.
362
00:33:37,466 --> 00:33:42,263
- Well I have to hang around within sight of myjar.
363
00:33:43,931 --> 00:33:47,184
- Well uh, make me into a milk man.
364
00:33:47,518 --> 00:33:49,645
- What do you want to look like?
365
00:33:50,437 --> 00:33:54,733
- Oh just your plain, average, everyday, handsome dog of a milkman.
366
00:33:55,526 --> 00:33:59,113
- You have to be more specific.
367
00:33:59,697 --> 00:34:03,242
- Wait a sec, I once saw a milk man in a film, and he shtupped everybody
368
00:34:03,617 --> 00:34:05,536
At one apartment building.
369
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,080
By the time he reached the top floor,
370
00:34:08,414 --> 00:34:10,416
After taking care of all the ladies in the house,
371
00:34:10,749 --> 00:34:13,711
When he was giving his heavy cream to the bottom floor it had already
372
00:34:14,044 --> 00:34:15,087
turned into sour cream.
373
00:34:15,421 --> 00:34:17,214
- But what did he look like?
374
00:34:17,548 --> 00:34:19,758
It was this actor named John Ashton.
375
00:34:20,092 --> 00:34:22,303
Yeah he made it with these two great looking chicks.
376
00:34:22,845 --> 00:34:26,098
- So think about what he looked like, and close your eyes.
377
00:36:30,931 --> 00:36:35,477
- Oh darling, I could hardly wait until you made your delivery.
378
00:36:41,567 --> 00:36:43,569
Darling.
379
00:36:45,988 --> 00:36:47,906
I want your heavy cream.
380
00:36:53,036 --> 00:36:54,913
- I want some of your heavy cream too baby.
381
00:37:00,419 --> 00:37:03,338
- But I have to save some for my other customers
382
00:39:32,195 --> 00:39:36,408
- And don't forget Petrosky, I want some heavy cream too.
383
00:39:38,076 --> 00:39:40,746
- Momma, what are you doing here?
384
00:39:42,039 --> 00:39:44,666
_ Hmm, my big boy.
385
00:39:45,584 --> 00:39:51,381
Who would think by looking at him that he was Valedictorian for his
386
00:39:51,715 --> 00:39:54,051
graduating class of PS768
387
00:39:55,093 --> 00:39:58,722
- Momma, you've gotta stay our of my fantasies.
388
00:40:02,392 --> 00:40:04,978
Momma, don't come near me I am your son Melvin.
389
00:40:05,771 --> 00:40:12,653
- Ah, Petrosky don't try to fool me, that tushy? That shmuck?
390
00:40:13,487 --> 00:40:15,280
That isn't my Melvin.
391
00:40:16,031 --> 00:40:18,575
Wouldn't I know? Haven't I powdered his
392
00:40:18,909 --> 00:40:23,372
tushy, and washed his little shmekala while he went tinkle
393
00:40:23,705 --> 00:40:25,457
in the potty all these years.
394
00:40:25,874 --> 00:40:27,876
- Momma, I grew up.
395
00:40:28,210 --> 00:40:30,087
- Petrosky?
396
00:40:30,504 --> 00:40:32,381
Give me the heavy cream.
397
00:40:34,007 --> 00:40:36,718
- OK Mrs. Finkelfarb, here it is.
398
00:40:43,308 --> 00:40:48,480
- Ugh it's butta, you've been bouncing and wiggling all day long you
399
00:40:48,814 --> 00:40:50,899
churned the thing into butta.
400
00:40:51,692 --> 00:40:54,277
- Sorry that's all the heavy cream I have left.
401
00:40:55,404 --> 00:40:57,364
- Petrosky.
402
00:40:58,031 --> 00:41:01,952
I want you should give me, your heavy cream.
403
00:41:02,703 --> 00:41:07,082
The way you do everyday, from the nozzle!
404
00:41:07,416 --> 00:41:09,418
- Momma, stay away from me.
405
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,129
Momma, you're making me very dizzy.
406
00:41:17,050 --> 00:41:20,387
- Momma, you see, I think I am going to get a nosebleed,
407
00:41:20,721 --> 00:41:22,931
and it's all your fault Momma.
408
00:41:23,390 --> 00:41:25,308
And besides, that's incest!
409
00:41:26,893 --> 00:41:29,646
Momma, Momma!
410
00:41:34,735 --> 00:41:38,780
You know I bet that big mouth genie, gave her the address of wherever I was
411
00:41:39,573 --> 00:41:40,866
Uh, Momma?
412
00:41:41,450 --> 00:41:45,746
Have you ever thought of another man, since Papa died?
413
00:41:47,122 --> 00:41:48,999
- Why would I want another man?
414
00:41:49,499 --> 00:41:51,043
I always have you.
415
00:41:51,376 --> 00:41:55,130
Well yes Momma, but you see other men can give you compainionship.
416
00:41:55,672 --> 00:41:56,882
And, uh, and stuff.
417
00:41:57,340 --> 00:42:01,678
- Well what kind of companionship could those men give me that
418
00:42:02,012 --> 00:42:04,181
I don't get from my lady friends?
419
00:42:11,938 --> 00:42:14,691
- I knew I'd find you here.
420
00:42:18,195 --> 00:42:22,866
- Alright Shamus, you big dick.
421
00:42:25,368 --> 00:42:27,245
I hear you are looking for me.
422
00:42:27,621 --> 00:42:29,664
- You're right Bonita.
423
00:42:30,499 --> 00:42:32,417
- Well you got Clyde.
424
00:42:35,087 --> 00:42:37,005
But you'll never get me.
425
00:42:48,308 --> 00:42:51,895
- Stop, stop in the name of the law, don't do that.
426
00:42:52,687 --> 00:42:56,274
Don't it will blow your brians out and make an ugly mess.
427
00:42:56,858 --> 00:43:00,779
Give it to me, please, I've got something better.
428
00:43:02,197 --> 00:43:05,117
I've got something better for you.
429
00:43:22,300 --> 00:43:26,096
- Boy, that Tina Russell, and how about that Marc Stevens?
430
00:43:26,429 --> 00:43:28,598
Have you ever seen a schvonce like that one?
431
00:43:29,015 --> 00:43:31,685
- Well I don't know I haven't had any complaints you know.
432
00:43:32,018 --> 00:43:34,646
- Oh come on now Melvin, this is your old buddy you are talking
433
00:43:34,980 --> 00:43:36,189
to, Irving Stein.
434
00:43:36,523 --> 00:43:39,484
I remember you from the locker room at PS768
435
00:43:39,818 --> 00:43:44,156
- Well yeah, that is before I got my B12 Shots.
436
00:43:44,865 --> 00:43:48,118
- You mean, now you got a schvonce like Marc Stevens?
437
00:43:48,535 --> 00:43:50,036
- Well what do you think it is June Madigan likes about me.
438
00:43:50,537 --> 00:43:52,164
- June Madigan, what do you mean the one with the strapping steel
439
00:43:52,497 --> 00:43:53,497
worker husband?
440
00:43:53,498 --> 00:43:56,418
- Yeah that one, what do you think she goes so crazy for?
441
00:43:56,751 --> 00:43:58,503
It ain't only my good looks you know.
442
00:43:58,879 --> 00:44:01,464
- I've gotta get back to work.
443
00:44:04,259 --> 00:44:06,178
- If Irving only knew.
444
00:44:11,308 --> 00:44:15,020
Hey wait a minute, didn't I just rub the inside of herjar yesterday?
445
00:44:15,353 --> 00:44:17,230
Why should I spoil that genie?
446
00:44:18,940 --> 00:44:21,276
I'll bet she's had five masters before me.
447
00:44:22,903 --> 00:44:26,865
Not one of them had a technique like me, not one.
448
00:44:43,798 --> 00:44:46,760
- What is your desire master?
449
00:44:47,260 --> 00:44:51,014
- Genie, I command you to make me a private eye like Marc Stevens.
450
00:44:52,807 --> 00:44:57,437
Oh and genie, I want Tina Russell as my partner
451
00:45:11,785 --> 00:45:16,873
- Alright Marc, now is the time for the big showdown.
452
00:45:21,002 --> 00:45:24,214
Oh dear, and I mean big.
453
00:45:29,803 --> 00:45:32,430
Let me just put my lips around that thing.
454
00:45:36,268 --> 00:45:41,147
Let me take the tip of my tongue and put it into the opening.
455
00:45:44,401 --> 00:45:47,320
Til' the juices just begin to flow.
456
00:49:38,843 --> 00:49:42,388
- Momma, what are you doing here again?
457
00:49:43,014 --> 00:49:46,976
- I'm watching! I might have have known I'd catch you here again.
458
00:49:47,519 --> 00:49:51,439
Listen, I don't mind a little hanky panky,
459
00:49:51,814 --> 00:49:55,735
But you and that little blondie, out of I wouldn't mention the name nights.
460
00:49:56,069 --> 00:49:58,321
Is making a bad habit out of this.
461
00:49:59,155 --> 00:50:03,284
- Ah hah! It was that big mouth genie who told you where I am.
462
00:50:04,202 --> 00:50:08,540
- Can I ask you a question maybe? Who is watching the store while you
463
00:50:08,873 --> 00:50:10,875
are playing the big shtupper?
464
00:50:21,886 --> 00:50:23,805
- Boy am I dizzy.
465
00:50:24,597 --> 00:50:26,516
Any minute now I expect a nose bleed.
466
00:50:27,016 --> 00:50:29,269
And it's all her fault.
467
00:50:29,644 --> 00:50:31,563
I've gotta find a way to keep her out of my orgies.
468
00:50:35,316 --> 00:50:37,986
- Melvin, oh I had to see ya.
469
00:50:38,403 --> 00:50:41,406
Debbie and I, what I fight we just had on the telephone.
470
00:50:42,907 --> 00:50:45,285
Oh, it's a good thing we were on the, phone and not face to face.
471
00:50:45,618 --> 00:50:47,328
Otherwise l...l mighta hit her.
472
00:50:47,662 --> 00:50:50,582
Then she woulda broken my nose and my collar bone, or something,
473
00:50:51,124 --> 00:50:54,252
She could hit a zets, that girl.
474
00:50:54,669 --> 00:50:56,921
Oy, I hate to come to you when I got troubles.
475
00:50:57,255 --> 00:51:00,800
- Well who else would you come to, what are friends for?
476
00:51:01,551 --> 00:51:04,512
I got problems with my mother.
477
00:51:05,054 --> 00:51:07,515
- You heard about the guy with the iron fist under the velvet glove?
478
00:51:07,849 --> 00:51:11,436
Debbie, she's got brass balls, under lace panties.
479
00:51:11,769 --> 00:51:16,316
- I strongly suspect that my mother is having an affair with some women.
480
00:51:20,445 --> 00:51:22,655
- At least they can't make her pregnant.
481
00:51:27,910 --> 00:51:29,621
- Momma?
482
00:51:30,371 --> 00:51:32,290
Momma, where are you going?
483
00:51:33,249 --> 00:51:35,168
- I'm going out, I have a date.
484
00:51:35,877 --> 00:51:36,919
- A date?
485
00:51:37,253 --> 00:51:38,588
A date with whom?
486
00:51:38,963 --> 00:51:42,258
- With the girls, Sadie and a new girl Nora, good night.
487
00:51:42,592 --> 00:51:47,055
- Momma I was hoping you would stay in tonight and play some canasta with me.
488
00:51:47,472 --> 00:51:50,016
- Oh I can't, I promised Sadie.
489
00:51:51,809 --> 00:51:53,061
- And Nora?
490
00:51:53,478 --> 00:51:55,396
- And nora.
491
00:51:56,564 --> 00:51:59,567
- Momma, if you go out, I am going to do something desperate.
492
00:52:00,193 --> 00:52:03,488
- Oh Melvin, I know what you'll do.
493
00:52:03,988 --> 00:52:08,910
You'll go out, you'll drink too much, you'll be sick,
494
00:52:09,243 --> 00:52:12,455
you'll come home, you'll kneel in front of the toilet and
495
00:52:12,789 --> 00:52:14,916
you'll throw your guts up all night long.
496
00:52:15,375 --> 00:52:18,252
Good night darling.
497
00:52:22,006 --> 00:52:23,466
- She's right.
498
00:52:23,883 --> 00:52:25,259
I'll go to Bernsteins,
499
00:52:25,718 --> 00:52:27,637
and I wont know when I've had enough, so I'll take that one more,
500
00:52:28,805 --> 00:52:31,432
Five malteds instead of four.
501
00:52:31,766 --> 00:52:33,518
And then I'll throw up my kishkas all night.
502
00:52:46,030 --> 00:52:49,200
Oy, why do I always take that fifth one?
503
00:53:09,512 --> 00:53:12,432
- Oh, oh my goodness, what is your desire Master?
504
00:53:20,356 --> 00:53:23,901
- Hey Mel, your ma called, the elevator in the building broke down.
505
00:53:25,945 --> 00:53:29,449
Oh pardon me, I didn't intend to interrupt something.
506
00:53:29,907 --> 00:53:32,785
- No ah, you didn't interrupt anything Irv. This is my friend.
507
00:53:33,244 --> 00:53:35,788
- Let me guess, June Madison?
508
00:53:36,414 --> 00:53:38,332
- No, no this is my friend Amara.
509
00:53:38,666 --> 00:53:40,418
- Amara? You never told me about her.
510
00:53:40,752 --> 00:53:43,004
You been keeping her to yourself?
511
00:53:44,922 --> 00:53:47,175
- Look uh, you think thats a girl right?
512
00:53:48,926 --> 00:53:51,512
Well that ain't any girl.
513
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:53,765
- It's a guy?
514
00:53:54,098 --> 00:53:55,892
- No no, it's a genie.
515
00:53:56,309 --> 00:53:59,353
- It's a genie? Of course it's a genie, any fool can see it's a genie.
516
00:54:00,980 --> 00:54:05,818
- Oh great and kind master, prince of the universe.
517
00:54:06,861 --> 00:54:09,781
Command me, I am your slave.
518
00:54:10,114 --> 00:54:14,410
- Oh just one question, if I decide to take my friend along with me,
519
00:54:14,994 --> 00:54:16,913
do I use up only one wish?
520
00:54:17,246 --> 00:54:18,289
- Only one wish.
521
00:54:19,165 --> 00:54:21,709
- So uh, how would you like to be John Ashton
522
00:54:22,043 --> 00:54:23,043
for a couple of hours.
523
00:54:23,085 --> 00:54:24,085
- What do you mean?
524
00:54:24,253 --> 00:54:26,130
- Look I mean, you like shtupping right?
525
00:54:27,048 --> 00:54:28,758
Well stick with me and I'll get you shtupped.
526
00:54:29,133 --> 00:54:31,052
- I'll stick, I'll Stick!
527
00:54:31,385 --> 00:54:32,804
- Genie, I uh,
528
00:54:33,137 --> 00:54:37,642
I want my friend here to be John Aston, and I wanna be Harry Reems.
529
00:54:38,059 --> 00:54:39,936
- You know what might be a good idea?
530
00:54:41,229 --> 00:54:44,190
The two of you boys, with one very horny girl.
531
00:54:44,607 --> 00:54:47,276
- Hey you know that would be a good idea.
532
00:54:47,610 --> 00:54:50,488
- Yeah, but who should the girl be?
533
00:54:53,616 --> 00:54:57,870
- I only suggested this because, this has been one of my greatest
534
00:54:58,204 --> 00:54:59,204
fantasies.
535
00:55:00,039 --> 00:55:01,791
Two boys at once.
536
00:55:04,210 --> 00:55:06,754
- Hey wait a second, I know this girl Sandy,
537
00:55:07,129 --> 00:55:09,173
The one Tina Russell and I were involved with.
538
00:55:09,507 --> 00:55:11,843
- Tina Russell? You made it with Tina Russell?
539
00:55:12,343 --> 00:55:13,343
- Yeah and Sandy.
540
00:55:13,553 --> 00:55:15,388
- Close your eyes boys.
541
00:55:38,286 --> 00:55:40,204
- Melvin, where are we?
542
00:55:40,872 --> 00:55:42,790
- A place where they have orgies.
543
00:55:43,207 --> 00:55:45,126
- Where is it located?
544
00:55:46,460 --> 00:55:49,171
- I think it's in the same building I live in, three or four flights above.
545
00:55:50,214 --> 00:55:54,051
Wherever it is, it's easy for my mother to get here.
546
01:00:22,903 --> 01:00:26,824
- Ah Irving, boychick! I know you have always wanted me.
547
01:00:33,455 --> 01:00:34,707
9h yes!
548
01:00:37,585 --> 01:00:39,295
- But what about Melvin?
549
01:00:39,712 --> 01:00:41,630
- Eh, let him watch, maybe he'll learn something.
550
01:01:31,805 --> 01:01:34,391
- Momma, how did you get here?
551
01:01:34,808 --> 01:01:36,727
Irving even told me the elevator was busted.
552
01:03:16,577 --> 01:03:18,370
- That was something.
553
01:03:19,038 --> 01:03:20,956
Now I've done something I have always wanted to do.
554
01:03:22,291 --> 01:03:23,959
Ball your old lady!
555
01:03:24,293 --> 01:03:26,170
And I was right, she's hot!
556
01:03:28,172 --> 01:03:29,172
Melvin!
557
01:03:29,298 --> 01:03:30,466
Boychicko!
558
01:03:30,966 --> 01:03:32,843
Your Mommy is some Tootsie!
559
01:03:33,969 --> 01:03:37,723
And that Sandy, it was just like the old days.
560
01:03:39,558 --> 01:03:42,478
Remember Ethel Pinsky, You used to take the back,
561
01:03:43,979 --> 01:03:46,357
I used to take the front.
562
01:03:46,815 --> 01:03:49,360
And then just like that latest Harry Reems picture with Tina Russell
563
01:03:49,777 --> 01:03:50,986
and what's her name.
564
01:03:51,528 --> 01:03:54,656
Your momma and Sandy they both dove at each others muffs!
565
01:03:54,990 --> 01:03:57,701
- Irving, one more word and I'll
566
01:03:59,078 --> 01:04:00,996
- What Melvin?
567
01:04:02,206 --> 01:04:05,042
- I'll never take you with me again, never, no place!
568
01:04:05,918 --> 01:04:09,171
- Now wait a minute, be reasonable, I was only kidding.
569
01:04:11,006 --> 01:04:13,258
Look the next time you are planning to take a little trip to that
570
01:04:13,592 --> 01:04:15,094
penthouse or whatever
571
01:04:17,012 --> 01:04:19,890
Just give me a little nudge and I'll be here.
572
01:04:20,307 --> 01:04:22,935
- Look I don't want any stories floating around Harry's delicatessen
573
01:04:23,268 --> 01:04:24,268
about my Momma.
574
01:04:24,978 --> 01:04:26,855
And if maybe Debbie got wind of it.
575
01:04:28,607 --> 01:04:30,859
- I hope I am not interrupting something.
576
01:04:31,193 --> 01:04:32,486
- No uh, come right in.
577
01:04:32,820 --> 01:04:34,488
- What a mob down the street.
578
01:04:36,240 --> 01:04:40,160
In front of the dry goods store, they are having a big sale!
579
01:04:40,744 --> 01:04:43,747
Everythings at half price!
580
01:04:44,331 --> 01:04:48,168
- Oh, I left my brother in law that, that bishcon, that rip off artist.
581
01:04:48,544 --> 01:04:51,922
To watch the store!
582
01:04:54,133 --> 01:04:58,345
- Uh, so Janet, how is your friend the gynocologist these days?
583
01:05:00,848 --> 01:05:02,433
- Oh, oh him.
584
01:05:03,308 --> 01:05:06,353
I'm through with him.
585
01:05:08,105 --> 01:05:09,982
He's only interested in, well...
586
01:05:12,860 --> 01:05:14,778
vaginas...
587
01:05:16,196 --> 01:05:18,115
Other girls vaginas.
588
01:05:19,908 --> 01:05:24,163
And anyway, I have met this most fascinating man!
589
01:05:25,706 --> 01:05:28,292
Harold Sampson
590
01:05:29,042 --> 01:05:30,919
- Harold Sampson, the insurance man?
591
01:05:31,295 --> 01:05:33,088
- You know him?
592
01:05:33,464 --> 01:05:36,800
Yeah tall, big hands, and not too good looking right?
593
01:05:37,134 --> 01:05:42,014
- No, no, no this one is very, very handsome.
594
01:05:43,098 --> 01:05:45,017
- Yeah well maybe, if you like the big biking type
595
01:05:45,767 --> 01:05:48,187
but not too many girls I know like a guy
596
01:05:48,645 --> 01:05:51,523
who wears a hat with horns and is always holding a weapon in his hands.
597
01:05:51,982 --> 01:05:53,984
- Oh so you do know him.
598
01:05:54,443 --> 01:05:56,361
You described him perfectly.
599
01:05:57,279 --> 01:05:59,198
- You mean he wears a hat with horns?
600
01:05:59,531 --> 01:06:01,950
- Nah, no, no, no, no, no
601
01:06:03,410 --> 01:06:05,829
He always, he's always...
602
01:06:07,831 --> 01:06:11,460
He's always got his weapon in his hands.
603
01:06:14,546 --> 01:06:17,132
Goodbye Melvin!
604
01:06:17,841 --> 01:06:20,636
- Oh, who is that running out of the store?
605
01:06:21,094 --> 01:06:22,429
Was that your red face?
606
01:06:22,846 --> 01:06:24,723
- A customer Momma
607
01:06:25,098 --> 01:06:28,227
- Melvin, I am not going to hear any stories about you if I go into
608
01:06:28,560 --> 01:06:30,521
Harry's delicatessen am l?
609
01:06:31,355 --> 01:06:34,107
It's enough his pastrami gives me a heartburn.
610
01:06:35,984 --> 01:06:40,739
Why don't you close the store today, you won't get any more customers.
611
01:06:42,407 --> 01:06:46,662
Stein's dry goods has a huge clearance sale on,
612
01:06:47,246 --> 01:06:50,123
the whole neighborhood's there.
613
01:06:50,457 --> 01:06:52,376
Oy, it's such a success,
614
01:06:52,709 --> 01:06:55,629
already they have given Irving Stein oxygen.
615
01:06:55,963 --> 01:06:58,215
And taken him away to the hospital in an ambulance.
616
01:06:59,299 --> 01:07:03,303
He was so overcome with the way they cleaned out his store.
617
01:07:04,346 --> 01:07:06,807
Twice they had to give him sedatives.
618
01:07:07,140 --> 01:07:09,309
When his brother in law passed close to him.
619
01:07:09,643 --> 01:07:12,396
I guess he was just so grateful for the way the young man ran such a
620
01:07:12,729 --> 01:07:13,855
sale for him.
621
01:07:28,161 --> 01:07:30,080
- Momma?
622
01:07:30,914 --> 01:07:32,833
Do you remember a Harold Sampson?
623
01:07:34,126 --> 01:07:38,297
- Harold Sampson? The big viking insurance man.
624
01:07:38,714 --> 01:07:43,468
Everybody knows him, he's a big schmoozer with the ladies.
625
01:07:44,803 --> 01:07:48,765
In this building alone, there must be three children,
626
01:07:49,099 --> 01:07:50,225
and they all look like him.
627
01:07:51,643 --> 01:07:53,562
Oy what a heart breaker
628
01:07:53,895 --> 01:07:58,900
Poor Myra Cluxturn, she was ready to leave Milton
629
01:07:59,276 --> 01:08:01,403
Until she found out that Harold was making
630
01:08:01,737 --> 01:08:05,365
whoopie with her daughter Joyce.
631
01:08:07,242 --> 01:08:10,370
And I heard down at Harry's delicatessen
632
01:08:10,704 --> 01:08:14,291
that he has a serious thing going on with Cynthia Schwartz
633
01:08:15,584 --> 01:08:17,628
Number 10B
634
01:08:18,378 --> 01:08:21,965
And they say she is pregnant now too.
635
01:08:22,549 --> 01:08:25,093
- Momma, I think I am gonna go to the movies.
636
01:08:25,427 --> 01:08:29,681
- No Melvin, you go to the movies too much, it's bad for your eyes.
637
01:08:31,058 --> 01:08:32,934
And your eyes are not so great.
638
01:08:33,560 --> 01:08:37,522
New prescriptions the past three years for your glasses?
639
01:08:40,025 --> 01:08:44,946
You know they say that certain things boys do make their eyes
640
01:08:45,322 --> 01:08:46,406
not so good.
641
01:08:48,617 --> 01:08:52,579
Melvin, you don't shake it too much when you make peepee do you?
642
01:08:53,038 --> 01:08:55,624
- Good night Momma!
643
01:08:57,751 --> 01:09:01,046
- What else could a mother do but to tell him?
644
01:09:03,173 --> 01:09:06,093
- Mrs. Petrovich, please restrain yourself.
645
01:09:06,510 --> 01:09:08,387
I have my reputation in the building to consider.
646
01:09:11,014 --> 01:09:13,892
- Mr. Gordon, is my policy ready for me yet?
647
01:09:15,936 --> 01:09:18,855
- Oh let's see, that's not yours
648
01:09:19,940 --> 01:09:21,858
and uh, that not yours.
649
01:09:24,444 --> 01:09:26,363
- I want this size.
650
01:09:26,780 --> 01:09:28,657
- Oh yes, I have it.
651
01:09:29,491 --> 01:09:31,410
I had your policy in my pants pocket all along.
652
01:09:32,285 --> 01:09:35,539
But my hands are full, won't you please get it?
653
01:09:45,882 --> 01:09:48,385
- Mr. Gordon?
654
01:09:49,970 --> 01:09:51,888
Do you have my policy ready?
655
01:09:52,264 --> 01:09:54,182
- Shortly, shortly Mrs. Holmes
656
01:09:57,686 --> 01:10:01,189
- What's Mrs. Petrovich doing down there?
657
01:10:02,274 --> 01:10:04,192
- Reading the small print
658
01:10:04,526 --> 01:10:06,194
Reading the small print.
659
01:10:09,990 --> 01:10:11,908
- I'll be behind my door.
660
01:10:14,202 --> 01:10:16,121
As soon as you have my policy ready.
661
01:10:18,248 --> 01:10:20,792
- As soon as I refill my pen sweet lady.
662
01:10:27,549 --> 01:10:29,092
Ah, ah!
663
01:11:26,024 --> 01:11:29,945
- I am here to take care of your inner most desires, sire.
664
01:11:30,779 --> 01:11:32,823
- Do you always have to creep up on me?
665
01:11:33,824 --> 01:11:35,784
- This is your last wish Master.
666
01:11:36,535 --> 01:11:38,453
- You don't have to remind me.
667
01:11:38,787 --> 01:11:42,791
- After this wish I shall disappear from your sight forever.
668
01:11:43,875 --> 01:11:47,128
Back into the dark recesses of my jar.
669
01:11:48,713 --> 01:11:52,634
Please master, would you grant me one moment?
670
01:11:55,011 --> 01:11:57,597
I face centuries of lonliness in my jar.
671
01:11:59,850 --> 01:12:01,017
- I'm sorry.
672
01:12:01,351 --> 01:12:03,186
- No, no there's nothing you can do about it.
673
01:12:03,645 --> 01:12:05,897
But in these last moments together,
674
01:12:06,231 --> 01:12:08,149
may I make a recommendation?
675
01:12:11,403 --> 01:12:16,491
Don't squander your last wish, choose your next partner well.
676
01:12:17,200 --> 01:12:20,453
Select someone who has some tender feelings for you
677
01:12:20,996 --> 01:12:23,415
Someone who really cares about you.
678
01:12:23,832 --> 01:12:25,750
Someone who could give you the ride of your life.
679
01:12:28,003 --> 01:12:30,505
- I don't want to go to bed with my mother
680
01:12:30,839 --> 01:12:33,967
- I'm not speaking about your mother.
681
01:12:34,801 --> 01:12:38,054
Merciful Master, what is your desire?
682
01:12:39,055 --> 01:12:40,974
- I, uh
683
01:12:41,433 --> 01:12:43,351
I want to be the kind of insurance man that Eric Edwards is.
684
01:12:45,312 --> 01:12:47,355
And I want to be chased by women
685
01:12:47,689 --> 01:12:49,524
like Tina Russell and Lynn Stevens.
686
01:12:51,067 --> 01:12:52,986
- You shall have your wish master
687
01:12:53,653 --> 01:12:55,572
But first there is something that I must tell you.
688
01:12:58,241 --> 01:13:01,494
And it's against all rules laid down for genies.
689
01:13:03,246 --> 01:13:05,916
I like you Melvin Finkelfarb
690
01:13:06,249 --> 01:13:08,084
I shall miss you very much.
691
01:13:09,544 --> 01:13:11,463
I love you Melvin Finkelfarb.
692
01:13:21,556 --> 01:13:25,185
Goodbye, I love you.
693
01:13:27,062 --> 01:13:28,980
I love you.
694
01:13:29,814 --> 01:13:31,691
- Amara, Amara?
695
01:13:33,818 --> 01:13:39,616
- I hope your pen is really full baby, you have a really big policy to write.
696
01:13:42,118 --> 01:13:44,329
- Ok baby, just let me dip it into the well.
697
01:16:03,843 --> 01:16:07,097
- Pardon me Mrs. Curt, I have to go see your neighbor
698
01:16:08,932 --> 01:16:10,892
Mrs. Benson
699
01:16:11,226 --> 01:16:13,061
I have to write up a new policy.
700
01:16:13,478 --> 01:16:15,897
I'll be back shortly.
701
01:16:17,565 --> 01:16:20,443
- Hurry back, I'll keep this seat warm for you while your away.
702
01:16:32,580 --> 01:16:35,458
- Is my policy ready baby?
703
01:16:36,459 --> 01:16:38,378
- I have it right here
704
01:16:47,846 --> 01:16:50,473
- Seems to be a few loopholes in my policy.
705
01:16:58,273 --> 01:17:02,443
I'd like you to plug up all my loop holes before you leave this afternoon.
706
01:19:49,861 --> 01:19:52,405
I want more baby.
707
01:19:52,905 --> 01:19:53,905
More.
708
01:19:56,868 --> 01:19:58,786
- Sorry darling.
709
01:19:59,203 --> 01:20:02,874
I've got to go re-write Mrs. Curts policy.
710
01:20:04,917 --> 01:20:08,296
- But you haven't finished plugging all my holes.
711
01:20:09,339 --> 01:20:11,924
- I'll be back.
712
01:20:23,853 --> 01:20:25,772
- Amara!
713
01:20:26,981 --> 01:20:28,191
Amara!
714
01:20:28,524 --> 01:20:31,069
Oh come on, I know your hanging around here.
715
01:20:53,257 --> 01:20:56,177
Amara?
716
01:20:56,511 --> 01:20:58,429
I didn't realize that you cared.
717
01:20:59,305 --> 01:21:01,224
I mean you really cared about me.
718
01:21:02,266 --> 01:21:06,687
Even though I wasn't tall, good looking, and richly endowed.
719
01:21:09,273 --> 01:21:11,818
Amara?
720
01:21:12,151 --> 01:21:13,986
I hope you can hear me.
721
01:21:14,695 --> 01:21:16,614
I love you.
722
01:21:32,547 --> 01:21:35,299
- How do you feel this morning Melvin?
723
01:21:35,675 --> 01:21:37,927
- I, uh, feel alright Momma.
724
01:21:38,678 --> 01:21:41,931
You know you have been looking so pale lately,
725
01:21:42,348 --> 01:21:45,226
and you've been moping around
726
01:21:45,601 --> 01:21:48,229
no, theres no fever.
727
01:21:48,646 --> 01:21:51,357
Maybe you should have some chicken soup anyway.
728
01:21:51,691 --> 01:21:54,193
- Not for breakfast Momma!
729
01:22:53,669 --> 01:22:57,089
Oh, uh, can I do something for you Madam?
730
01:22:58,216 --> 01:23:00,468
It's Miss.
731
01:23:02,678 --> 01:23:04,597
Oh my what a lovely jar.
732
01:23:08,684 --> 01:23:10,561
- Well it ain't for sale.
733
01:23:18,027 --> 01:23:19,946
Hey, uh, don't I know you?
734
01:23:20,821 --> 01:23:22,365
- Maybe.
735
01:23:22,823 --> 01:23:24,116
I work down at the dime store.
736
01:23:24,450 --> 01:23:26,661
I'm a sales girl, you've probably seen me there.
737
01:23:27,078 --> 01:23:29,622
- What department do you work in?
738
01:23:29,956 --> 01:23:31,707
- I'm in pottery.
739
01:23:34,043 --> 01:23:35,086
- Miss?
740
01:23:35,419 --> 01:23:37,088
- Names Pearl.
741
01:23:37,630 --> 01:23:39,549
- Pearl, would you insulted if uh,
742
01:23:40,132 --> 01:23:43,928
- I would be insulted as many times as you would like to insult me.
743
01:23:44,303 --> 01:23:48,891
- No I mean, uh, how would you like to join me for dinner tonight?
744
01:23:49,225 --> 01:23:51,852
You see there is this delicatessen down the street, Harry's.
745
01:23:52,186 --> 01:23:55,064
It's a pretty classey joint, so would could dine there.
746
01:23:55,398 --> 01:23:57,400
- Sounds lovely.
747
01:23:57,733 --> 01:23:59,610
I'll meet you here after work.
748
01:24:00,653 --> 01:24:03,739
- You know you, uh, you remind me of someone I once knew.
749
01:24:04,115 --> 01:24:05,115
- Oh?
750
01:24:05,283 --> 01:24:06,993
- Yeah, she uh,
751
01:24:07,577 --> 01:24:11,289
She used to love it when I rubbed the inside of this jar.
752
01:24:19,880 --> 01:24:23,718
- Well I better get back to work.
753
01:24:24,051 --> 01:24:26,220
Don't forget, you'll find me in pottery.
56539
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