All language subtitles for Winter.House.S03E09.One.Last.Ride.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb[EZTVx.to]_track4_eng

- Whoo!
- Previously, this season,

on "Winter House"...

Steamboat,
we have arrived!

- Colorado.
- Colorado!

- I wanna see an owl.
- Did I tell you,

I found a dead owl
in my yard,

and I'm gonna taxidermy it?

- Really?
- Yes. I like taxidermy.

- Really?
- Yeah.

What's everyone's
relationship status?

We knows yours--
single.

Stuck in a house,
beautiful people--

this is like a perfect
rom-com moment for me.

Casey, you get
a little makeover?

All right,
now, make out with Brian.

I'm obviously
super single.

So, you come here often?

I'm finding myself
attracted to Tom.

Oh.
[laughing]

Katie's so hot,
but I could never hook up

with someone named Katie.

This is the universe
- ing with me.

It's a good joke.
It's a good joke.

Went from him not being able
to say your name, to...

We still can't. We're not--
we're not over that part yet.

He's gonna start
screaming it.

Did you run into
you know who?

Robert?

No hopes of getting
back together?

He kinda, like,
squashed that.

This trip is for me
to get that mojo back.

[BLEEP] Robert.

If you're having sex
with me,

you're not having sex with
anyone else in this house.

She's obviously starting
to feel a little bit jealous.

Just focus on
the friendship.

I do think that you're
low energy, right now.

There's no men
to flirt with you

or to have a crush on.

If I wanted him,
he would have been mine.

One thing, just don't
fall in love with me.
[laughing]

I would definitely
hook up with Kory.

I just want, like,
a quick little,

like, makeout
with Kory.

Aren't you
in a relationship?

We haven't made it,
like, exclusive.

- Are you going to?
- So, I don't know.

- Hi!
- Ah!

- Yeah! Hold up!
- What?

Malia's, like,
obsessed with Kory's dick.

Yeah, it's very easy
to see.

I walk in,
and you're on his body.

- Oh, Jesus.
- First of all--

We've been doing that
this whole time.

- Okay, well, guess who hasn't
- in' been here. Me!

Oh, this is not good.

[BLEEP].

What do you think
is gonna happen?

Or just give it a minute
before you put me in a box.

Listen, I feel like you want
a relationship with Kory.

I have no interest
in Kory.

How else do you
want me to put it?

You have to understand.

Like, I don't wanna
get emotional.

- Don't get emotional. I'm--
- When you two--

watched you guys
the day I get here

be, like,
all up on each other,

like, that feels bad.
- Yeah.

I feel like I'm in
a weird middle of something

that has gone wrong--
- Yeah.

But I haven't.

Maybe the Malia
tackling in the snow

wasn't the best,
like, start.

[laughing]

I'm sorry if you felt
uncomfortable today.

That's my bad.

And I just want you to know,
girl-to-girl,

there's nothing there.

I sometimes forget that
people don't grow up

in the same
environment with me.

I easily click with guys
by roughhousing

and beating each other up
because that's what I know.

- It's fine. You know what?
- I just didn't like

the whole--
- You're right.

We're not in
a defined relationship.

So, I guess that's up
for interpretation.

Whatever, it's fine.

All right.
I thought they were yelling,

but I'll let 'em
talk it out.

They-they-they did spark up
for a little bit.

I'm not insecure about
my relationship with Kory.

- And you shouldn't be.
- What I'm insecure about

is, like, when I walk in

and find out the sh--
I don't know about.

- Oh, yeah, Brian--
- I don't even think she knows

what you said about her,

so wait-- wait until
she hears that.

Well, why don't you just,
like, not repeat that?

I'm not gonna say it--
Obviously.

You think I'm gonna say sh--?
I'm not a snitch.

I'm scared of her, okay?

To be honest, Sam,

there's stuff that Kory
has asked us not to tell you.

Like what?

I don't know.

- What's going on?
- You should talk to Kory.

I guess I should
start drinking.

I'm redoing my roast,
how I could've done it better.

I would've really enjoyed
a roast from you.

- Oh, I know.
- I would have, too.

I feel like I'm the
easiest target to roast

in this house, right now.
- All-all the time
in the world--

we just wanna get roasted
by you.

Can I work my way up
to one later?

- Yeah.
- Can you roast me later?

Yeah.

I'm mentally trying
to write a roast for you,

right now.

No one talked about
my taters.

No one talked--
- Or your titters.

I thought you would
bring up my bodysuits.

Oh, I love
your bodysuits.
What would I roast?

I know, but I thought
you were gonna say something.

You look stunning
every time

you----in' walk out
of your bedroom.

I'm like, what would I even
- in' say about that?

Friend zone me
all you want

but just stop flirting
with Jordan

because I still want
to get into bed with you.

Get out of
the friend zone.

Get back in the friend zone
when we're at the airport.

That's fine.

Alex?
- Hmm?

- I'm just a little
- ing overwhelmed.

I just don't feel
like I contribute to the--

It has nothing to do with
any of-- anybody else here.

It's just that
I can't take on any more.

That sucks.

And you deserve
nothing except the best.

- I know.
- That's-that's not me,
right now.

It's a bummer.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

Okay.

What happened when I left?

You gotta break it down
for me.

Okay.
Everybody was night skiing.

Danielle takes me aside
and is like,

"You're not giving anything

'cause you're not getting
any male attention."

[laughing]
- Oh, sh--, that is--

I'm like, bitch,
are you dumb?

Damn, what happened when I--
I was gone for, like, two days.

No, it was chaos.

Are you okay?

I didn't come in here
feeling a way, and now I do.

I'm sorry for that.

I'm never----ing vulnerable
with people, ever, like...

I think
the situationship thing

is really hard
'cause look at you, right now.

I will never say,
"I love you,"

because I don't want to be--

Yeah.

I hate that because
it's been so long a secret.

Thanks. I'm gonna go
fix my face, but thanks.

It honestly looks fine.

- Get that garlic, son.
- I didn't get any of that.

Oh, was that all garlic?

Pretty much. Yep.

- Okay, what's up?
- Are you guys good?

'Cause it seemed like
it wasn't good from over here.

So...
- No, we're good now.

I honestly said to her,
"Dude, if you think

I'm gonna go for a guy that
can't spell his first name,

then..."
[laughing]

Where did she go?
Where did she go?

She's just touching up
her makeup.

She's good, though.
She's coming out.

Okay, all right.
All right.

I just wanna check.

[Sam crying]

Sam?

Yeah, you can come in.

I don't know...
- Are you okay?

Come here.

Does she know about
the Casey thing?

- No.
- 'Cause I think--

okay, well, I might have
- ed that up.

Wow.

Sam?

Dude, are you okay?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Oh, my God, coming in.
- I said, "Yeah." I go, "Yeah."

It's okay. It's okay.
What happened?

What did she say?
- Nothing.

She just said
that when Kory arrived,

he made it seem like
we're in a situationship,

and, like, technically,

we are a situationship.
- Like, Sam-Sam-Sam--

I'm not gonna sit
his ass down and be like,

"What are we?" That's not me.
- Sam, literally--

- I would never do that.
- But then why?

Look at how it's making you
feel, right now.

So, you're not
gonna be the girl

'cause you're trying
to be cool,

and I've been there before.

I know there's been, like,
a looming kinda question mark.

Like, where are we?
- Mm-hmm.

The whole freaking
first year

of my relationship
was undefined.

I wanted to be
completely upfront.

I actually made out
with Jacqueline.

We spent a whole summer
in the Hamptons

kind of not really seeing
each other, but we were.

- Just--
- You want me here,
but you're single.

- No.
- This is kinda bullsh--.

I feel her pain.

I need to go check
on her.

You don't have
to play cool girl.

Yeah.

- What's up, baby?
- Hi.

I'm gonna give you guys
some time.

You're okay. You're okay.
- Yeah, you guys are good.

You're good.
- This doesn't seem good.

You're okay.
Talk to him.

You're okay. I'm here.
- Sam's fine.

What happened
in the 30 minutes?

Nothing.

That's a lie.

- Did you hear that?
- Wait, Schwartz,

I thought you were
making me a drink.

- Oh, sh--, Katie.
- Schwartz called you Katie.

Really, the simple things
in life.

Malia was like, "Okay,
well, he was very clear

that, like, when he got here,
you were in situationship,

so it wasn't, like,
super clear to us,

like, where you were at."

I never said those words,

but we have not made it

official boyfriend
and girlfriend.

Fine-- But, okay,

then define what our
relationship is.

That we're dating.

Okay, but it was
the first time

that I've had to acknowledge
that, like,

I have strong feelings
for you.

Well, I have strong feelings
for you, too.

That's why I literally
told you coming here

that, like, I'm not planning on
hooking up with anyone else,

and that's not
what I'm here for.

Are you planning on continuing

to not hook up
with anyone else?

Of course.

I guess I've just never
really come to this head

where it's been, like,
do I need to say, like,

"Are you my boyfriend?"

Like, I have trouble
having that conversation.

Like, do I need
to ask you?

What?

Like, are you
my boyfriend?

♪

Coming up...

♪

Do I need to ask you?

What?

Like, are you
my boyfriend?

Technically,
I guess we are, yes.

Yes.

That felt so high school,
but I--

I know! That's why
I don't do it!

If-- but if that--
but if that--

if that's what makes you happy,
I'm okay with doing that.

I just-- I just don't
want, like,

to, like, let you down.

Well, you haven't
let me down yet.

I haven't--
okay, that's good.

If it was left up to any guy,
they would let it ride.

Don't let anyone
- ing fool you.

But I don't wanna
lose her either.

My mom says, "You either
gotta sh-- or get off the pot."

So, like, this came to it.

It was like, all right,
am I sh---ing, right now,

or are we not?

And we're sh---ing, baby.
[laughing]

I really like you.

It's gonna sound
really weird,

and I hope you don't
take it the wrong way.

- I probably will.
- You know what?

Your hair just always
smells so good.

You do, too.

You're a big hygiene guy,

and I love that.
- Huge.

I had a kinda
good conversation.

With who?

With Alex.

I think I'm definitely
friend zoned,

but I don't know.

- Welcome to my life, honey.
- Yeah.

Guys, I'm just glad
that we are friends

and friend zoned.
I love you guys.

Let's do a five-minute
cleanup, and then we'll party.

- Yeah.
- Clean up. Clean up.

Yeah, let's do dishes
instead of party.

Can we put our feet in
the hot tub and drink?

- Are you a feet person?
- No!

Schwartz has
a feet fetish!

- When I was young.
- How did I not know about this?

When I was young.
It-it's gone now.

[laughing]

We dancing or what?

Have no fear.

Deejay Kyle is here.

Oh, I love Deejay Kyle.

Ahh, ahh.

So far, this experience,
I've gotten friend zoned,

but, for me, there's
always a way out.

Listen, we know the story
about the tortoise and the hare.

Guess who wins.

The tortoise.

Yo!

Amanda's flight
is tomorrow.

She wants to say goodbye
to everybody.

all: Aww.

- Yeah.
- Amanda.

You can always
push back flights.

I've grown to love

everyone here so much,

but I just wanna be
home with my dogs.

I miss them.
[laughing]

Good night y'all.

Can we go into our room?

Yeah, let's do it.

Why are you
still dressed?

What are you
gonna do about it?

You're gonna what?

But tonight has
been dark as [BLEEP].

Alex, are you
going to sleep?

Come on!

Yo, why are you
always spilling sh--?

Casey, that was
really mean,

and you should dry clean it.
- No, it's okay.

Gotta dry this sh--.

- That was-that was nice.
- Whoa, that was a lot.

We--

[laughing]

Poor Alex is getting
smothered to death via makeout.

Y'all go over there.
We're exiting.

Black people don't do that.

- No.
- All right.

I don't have
a blanket in there.

I'm gettin' hard.

♪

With Brian, we've
already been building

on a connection
for the whole vacation,

and it's almost
the last night.

Like, if it does not
go well, it's like,

Bye, see ya later.

Can I go into
bed with you?

I knew it would
happen eventually.

So, am I surprised?

Yes. No.

Yes.

I could maybe
sleep in here.

You think
you've earned it?

Knowing I only have,
like, 24 hours,

I wanna make
the most of it.

You're flawed, yes,
but self-loathing,

why don't you take
the day off,

especially with Katie?

Carpe diem is in
full effect,

and I'm ready to seize
the----ing day.

Yay, we get a sleepover.

♪

That was good.
We should do that more often.

Yeah.

♪

I love you.

- Are you coming skiing?
- Are we skiing today?

Yeah.
You didn't know that?

I think it's pretty
natural for her

to be a little bit
confused and conflicted

after we were, like,
moving at one speed

this entire time.

Now, it's all of
the sudden changed.

I need to set
healthy boundaries.

I could do without chaos
for my last few hours here.

Tiger King.

- Come in here.
- Tiger King.

I love that.

Are those
my hair extensions?

Tiger King!

Is this not a vibe?
- Oh, my, please, no.

No.

I was feeling it.

Benni, remember
when we made out?

- It was romantic.
- We can do it again tonight.

I'm excited for it.

[groans]

I'm really going
through it, right now.

I was going through it
last night with you.

Yeah, I have a hard time
talking about my feelings.

I mean, I'm
glad we talked.

Malia said you wanted them
to not tell me something.

Um...

Casey was, like, tripping
about you to other people.

I've never met this girl.

What could she
possibly be saying?

I guess people that you
went to college with

that she's friends with were
calling you, like, trash,

and she was, like,
repeating that to other people.

I called her out in front
of everyone at dinner,

and she immediately
apologized, seemed sincere.

If you wanna talk to her
about it, you can, but...

I don't really wanna talk
to her at all anymore.

I'm gonna eat this
for breakfast.

I mean, good for you.
That is--

- I want all of this.
- Is it--

are you having that now?
- Yeah.

Do you want some?
- Nope.

Nope, nope, nope.

- Is it good?
- Mm-hmm.

We have no more tabasco.

Wow.

Tom, are you going
skiing with us?

Hell yeah.

You'll have to hold it down
on the mountain.

You're not coming,
old man?

I gotta go to Fed Ex.

They close in,
like, an hour.

I would have loved to have
a last day on the slopes.

Danielle is not
the only one with baggage.

I mean, like, I just have,
like, literal baggage.

[sighs]

Shred some gnar for me!

- Cute.
- Oh, sh--.

Hello, my sweets.

This is the least well
I've ever been in my life.

Your outfit
says otherwise.

I know.
It's a good result.

That's my boyfriend.
- This is your boyfriend?

[cheering]

Oh, my God!

What?
- I wanted to do it

on my own accord, but, yeah,
it happened last night.

So, [BLEEP] you guys.

Oh, I'm so happy.

Yeah, I am, too.
He's such a good boy.

I wish I looked better
for this moment.

I'm not wearing pants but--
- I wish I didn't cry

for four hours and act
like a dick but--

No, you didn't.
You were fine.

You have a low standard
for fine, I think.

Oh, God, I think
she knows.

That's not good.

- All right, three minutes!
- Let's do it.

You're not coming
with me,----er.

No, I'm leaving you,
so now you know how it feels.

[laughing]
- Okay, bye.

My car is leaving.
Come on, Schwartzy.

Let's----ing go.

All right.
Let's go.

I know.
I'm human.

I'm weak, whatever.

I don't think things
can get any more complicated,

so whatever.

We're outta here tomorrow.

[moaning]

Coming up...

- Oh!
- I set this up for us.

Stop it.

♪

You guys got
your phones and wallets?

Check, check, check.

Do you have
a positive attitude?

- Yes.
- Yeah!

- Last night was fun.
- Ehh.

I mean, you define fun.

Casey, out of nowhere,

somewhere squirreled
into my room

and just starts, like,
making out with me hardcore.

Oh.

- Did you make out with Brian?
- Yeah.

So, I went in really
because I was, like,

I gotta, like,
listen to some music.

For some reason,
it was Coldplay

was my first choice.
- Yeah.

Did you talk to Casey
about this morning?

She said, "Yeah,
let's do it again tonight."

- She said that out loud?
- Yeah, yeah.

[laughing]

Brian does have game.

It's just there's a lotta,
like, dirt on it and rust,

but it's there.

I just wish I coulda saw it
and in not a creepy way,

just, like, for the boys,
you know, not creepy.

Brian has a lot
of----ing charm.

His charisma is--
- Dude, I love-- I love Brian.

Oh, my God,
it's a moose!

- Where?
- Oh!

Oh, my God,
that's so cool!

I always wanted
to see a moose!

Oh, sh--.

- Wow, it is so big.
- Oh, my God, this is cool.

- Sorry, I know we--
- Thank you.

Bye, buddy.

I feel like
our trip is complete.

I feel like I could pet him.

♪

- I'm trying to revive.
- I wish.

- You look really----ing good.
- Thanks.

Wow, you look good as [BLEEP].

[sighs]

♪

- There was a moose.
- Did you see the moose?

- You saw that moose?
- Yeah.

I think I could
take a moose.

Last day and
we're gonna tear this sh-- up.

I am.

You're probably not going to,
but yeah.

- We'll see.
- Ready for the mountain.

Let's get it.

Let's----ing hit
this mountain, baby.

This is beautiful.
Case--

All right.
Let's go. Yeah!

Benni!

All right. Do, like, a 360,
like, oh, now switch.

- Whoo!
- Yeah, buddy!

♪

All right.
Let's get some drinks.

I need a little
hair of the dog.

- Okay, drinks are on me.
- Two bloody Marys.

- Cheers.
- Last day on the mountain!

- Let's go outside.
- Oh, my God! Holy sh--.

- Whoa.
- Wow, it's beautiful out.

Wow, this is crazy.

Casey, why don't you
come over here with me?

Let's hang out.
Come on.

Come on, let's get out of
all these people's way.

Let them enjoy
their little beverage.

Are Sam and Casey
cool or what?

- Oh, I don't know.
- Yeah.

You kind of jumped
the gun on that one.

- Yeah, ya did.
- My bad.

[laughing]

I just wanted to chat with you
because, this morning,

Kory said to me, like,

you've been talking sh--
about me in the house,

which, like--
like, was a little hurtful.

I said something like,
"I haven't met her,

but I heard she's..."
that derogatory word.

- What was the word?
- Trash.

And I feel really,
really, really bad about it.

And as soon as you
walked in the door,

I wasn't trying to overcompensate.

I just genuinely like you
and thought you were really fun.

Yeah, like, that's what--
and I was, like,

excited about it.
- I'm a very genuine person.

And I don't feel that way.
I want you to know.

Yeah, it just, like, was
sh---y to find that out, too,

like, after we had
started becoming friends.

I'm sorry.
I have a big----ing mouth.

Girl, I can relate to that.

I shouldn't be
repeating gossip

I heard from someone else.
That is not my place.

Now, I wanna know
who is talking sh--.

I don't wanna--

A conversation
for another day, perhaps.

- Yeah.
- Give me a hug.

- Love you.
- I'm glad we did that.

Me, too.

Now, it looks like
they're kind of laughing.

- They-they're having fun.
- Okay.

- We're gonna savor this.
- It's actually really cool.

And for the last day
in Steamboat,

let's go baby!
- Yeah!

[cheering]

- That was sick.
- Was that, like, preplanned?

- No, he has no
- ing idea.

He just knows how
to break sh--.

Cheers, guys.
Yay, Steamboat.

- Love you guys. Whoo!
- Let's go.

♪

Well, you lucked out.
You got me today.

Dude, I wake up
every morning,

and I have
that exact same thought.

Oh, God, okay.

You had a lot to handle
this morning, though.

You gotta get
the wifey off.

You gotta--
well, not in that way but--

[laughing]

- No, no, no.
- Assuming.

- Well said.
- This is disgusting.

♪

I'm so tired.

I'm gonna put on sweatpants.

Are they home?
- Family!

- When are we going to the bar?
- 8:30.

- Hey.
- Hey.

All right.
I'm changing.

Oh!
[laughing]

- Let's get some takeout.
- Pizza.

What a good boy.
What a bad boy.

I just need you to, like,
make it through the night.

So, we need to
have tactics here.

Obviously, a nap-ski.
- Okay, let's go.

- Okay, in my room, though.
- I didn't even tell you

what happened
with me and, like, Casey.

So, imagine this.
Intense making out.

We're playing,
uh, tonsil hockey.

Bro, what?

[gasps]

Wait, what are you doing?

Oh, my God, big spoon!
But wait.

You're on top of the sheet.

[doorbell ringing]
- Is it the food?

Pizzas are here!

And we have wings.
We're leaving in an hour.

Hopefully, the men
have teeth tonight.

That'd be nice.
- Oh!

- Schwartzy.
- Hi.

I'm about to go seduce Floody.
- That's nice.

What are we thinkin'?

I'm thinking I'm gonna
make her a drink,

go outside, and chill.
- Okay, that's a good start.

[laughing]

I'm gonna dust off outside.
What do you say?

- Really?
- Yep, got it.

♪

Ambience.

No one has ever done this
for me to have sex.

- Hi.
- Schwartzy.

- What you guys doin'?
- I'm doing Malia's hair.

Come outside with me
for a sec.

- Okay.
- Ten minutes?

Oh, I thought you were
gonna say, "For sex."

I was like, wow.
- Oh, that's cute, very direct.

♪

Wow, I'm, like,
the sole survivor.

- Oh, hi.
- Oh, locked arms, I love this.

We're about to go on a date. Yeah.

- Oh!
- I set this up for us.

- Stop it.
- I know.

- This is cute.
- Do you like it?

I like it.
What's going on?

I feel bad 'cause,
since we've started hanging out,

I've done this
whole schtick.

But I feel like
you've progressed from that.

You've called me Katie
a few times,

and you actually said it in bed
this morning,

and I don't think you realized.

- In bed?
- Yeah.

Okay, well,
cheers to that.

- Is it our first date?
- Is this our first date?

Yeah. By the way,
friend zone is right here.

- Okay, and then where am I?
- You're way over here.

Really?
Stop it, actually.

Yeah.
[laughing]

That's adorable.

I can't believe
I'm out of the friend zone.

Aren't you coming to L.A.
next week?

- Yeah.
- I wanna take you out.

Are you asking me out
on a date?

Yeah, that's why
I brought you out here.

I don't think I've ever
formally been asked out

on a date.

My friend group back home,
they are a scary,

toxic cesspool,
but, with Katie,

she's helping me kinda remember
why I-I love myself.

You know,
I'm not so bad after all.

I needed that.

♪

Coming up...

That smile scares me.
[laughing]

Why?

There's something else
going on here.

I don't like
being made a fool of.

♪

You guys,
I just proposed to Katie.

- No.
- Yeah!

I'm out of the friend zone.

- [BLEEP] the friend zone!
- Oh, my God.

It only took me two weeks
of persistence.

- How do you do it?
- I always get what I want.

Coming into this house,
I didn't really

have an intention
of meeting a man,

but it happened.
- I'm so happy for you.

I don't think there is
anybody in the world

like Tom Schwartz.

You got your Schwartz back, baby.

You got your
Schwartz back.

I obviously don't see it
being anything serious,

but he opened my eyes
to not dating [BLEEP] boys,

and, like, I still wanna, like,
have my Schwartz time

whenever I'm in L.A.

Yeah, boy!

Although, your date
was right where I pee.

This is the most
picturesque pee stream

I've ever seen in my life.

You just peed
on my----ing shoe.

Did not.

That's my pee spot.
[laughing]

Benni, wow, you look hot.

The earring makes me
feel like a rockstar.

All right, guys.
Let's do this!

- Hey.
- Let's go.

Bar night!

Floody, don't slip.
It's really ice.

- Right here, it's slippery.
- Going out!

♪

- How cute is this, though?
- Can we have this table?

- Should we sit?
- I love the vibe here.

I already got
offered a mustache.

Can we do, um,
12 rumplemintz?

Cheers to the last night
and to whatever is next.

Cheers.

What are you guys
doing after this?

I have to go back to work,
but he is gonna come visit me

probably in a week or so.

We go back to France
at the end of April.

- Then we have France.
- When? In April?

Yeah.

I'm taking
away a good time.

Coming into the house,

I wanted to get
back out there,

break my seven-month spell.

Yeah.

So I did.

I don't feel like I've
caused too many problems.

If you were in
a situationship with a guy

for eight months--
- Probably wouldn't be.

I've built a lot
of friendships.

I don't have, like,
a weird situationship

or relationship I have
to worry about.

Like, I'm proud of myself.

I've kind of grown up.

[laughing]

- Can I go in dirty?
- Yeah.

♪

All right. Let's go.

You might have
to lead the way.

What's happening
with Alex?

♪

Your smile scares me.

[laughing]
- Why?

There's something else
going on here.

Could be because I just
got out of a relationship

where, at the ending of it,
I was definitely gaslit.

I don't like being
made a fool of.

I feel like you're one
of the closest,

if not closest, friend
that I have in the house.

I'm very grateful for you.

I agree.

I'm sorry if I've caused
you any kind of stress

at all either.

No, you haven't
caused me any stress.

I was very genuine,
like, when I came in,

and I was like, wow,
I'm very attracted to her.

I think I don't know
how to receive that

because I feel like,
what else?

I feel like we developed
our "what else" kind of,

like, over time.

Yeah, which is
what I intended.

You just had
full speed ahead.

With Alex, there's always
that little, like, window

that I think he's gonna
keep open for me,

if I wanted
to creep in.

I don't think I've ever had
any platonic female friends.

There's just always this
innate desire there.

Maybe.

I appreciate you so much.

Love you mucho.

Does anybody else
want a moose-tache?

- I do. I do. I do.
- I'll do it.

Thank you for
the moose-taches.

I appreciate it.
- You're so welcome.

Okay, ready?

♪

[laughing]

How you feelin', babe?

- Oh.
- Whoo, baby!

Casey, I wouldn't say
she's wifey material,

but it would be cool
if it went somewhere.

Holy sh--.

Listen, coming
into this house,

I definitely shot myself
in the foot

saying I'm looking
for something serious

in the next couple
of years.

Let's get married then,
because I feel like

I should settle down
by 35.

I'm really here
to have fun.

I don't know
why I said that.

You know what?
It's my parents.

My parents are
just meh-meh-meh.

Sometimes I have word vomit,
and I'll just, bleh,

like, "I'm looking for
something serious."

Okay, let's go.

Let's get in the cars.

- Let's get in the cars.
- Which car am I going in?

Whoa! Look who's
back in town!

♪

Oh, my God.

- Well done.
- Thanks.

Katie!

What the [BLEEP], dude?

No, I know.
I'm gonna rage,

and you're gonna sleep.

That annoys me 'cause, like,
she's your friend.

- She was. She was.
- Yeah.

- She was my friend.
- Period.

I'm not doing this.
I don't do this.

- No, that's crazy.
- I do not do this!

♪

[snoring]

♪

Aah!

Stop, stop, stop.

So, [BLEEP] off.

- Let it go.
- Brian, shh.

Yeah, Kyle, [BLEEP] you.

I'm the one that
told you to shh.

You're----ing lucky.
If you wanna bark, chew!

I'm waiting, baby!

♪

I'm waiting, baby!

What's up?

Okay.

I will----ing
eat you alive, right now.

Well, you keep saying that,
and I'm standing right here.

Danielle [indistinct].
That's--

[snoring]

I'm confused.
Is this all over Alex?

You just let me take the heat
over some dumb sh--!

I'll see you
in the morning.

That guy is good about
getting outta the hot seat.

I just sit right in it.

No wonder he's so Zen.

He just up and leaves
before the conflict

can get to him.
The guy is a genius.

I'm sleeping here on, like,
two centimeters, on the edge.

You giving me all the room
'cause I'm so big.

Yeah, and you have
the entire bed,

and you chose right here.

But I wanna be by you.

What the [BLEEP] are
you doing in this bed?

No. What? What?

Are you under the sheet
or on top of the sheet?

Why don't you take
your pants off?

I don't mean that
in a creepy way.

[laughing]

[inhales, exhales]

I think she's unable
to express her feelings

toward the person who
is really the problem,

and she deems me to be
on the receiving end

of all of those emotions
that she's been hiding

from the man she's
been sleeping with

or damn near hiding
from herself, probably.

But let me be clear.

I am not the source
of her problems.

♪

No, Tom,
we're leaving.

I don't even know
what time my flight is.

What time is
your flight, Floody?

- We're driving to Denver.
- Oh, yeah, that's right.

Brian?

You know that you
aggressively make out.

Just because I haven't
been laid since January,

and I'm so horny.

You should've
told me that.

I could have helped.

Jordan and Danielle,
it almost got physical.

[BLEEP], I don't
remember that.

You were sleeping.

It's always
some dumb sh--.

Hi. Missed you.

Tom, sh-- went down
with Danielle, again.

She's not being
that nice of a lady.

I'm ready to go home.

Last night's explosion
was pretty much everything

I was trying to avoid.

It's like my own little
- ing web I've weaved.

I'm not trying
to be an asshole.

Kind of.

Are we going to the
airport together?

Maybe.

- Dude, I love airports.
- I don't.

You don't?
[laughing]

I don't even know
what's clean and dirty,

at this point.

♪

- Good morning.
- Jordan.

Dude, are you okay?

What happened?

She thought I was
flirting with Alex.

Oh, God.

Did you have fun for your
48 hours you were here?

- Most of it.
- Yeah?

I wonder how
Danielle is doing.

I think she's
probably spiraling.

A little.

[BLEEP].

This is your fault, totally.

I know I'm not innocent.

Can you give me
a piggyback?

I'm surprised you two
didn't do that last night.

Whoa.

I did come into his room
this morning without pants on,

so that was--
- You feel asleep

on top of Schwartz
last night.

Oops.

I gotta kinda
pack a little bit.

♪

[BLEEP] me.

Last night, I reached
my breaking point.

I'm disappointed in myself

that it escalated to a point
where that's not me.

That's not who I am.

The only relationship that
I really care about repairing

is the one with Jordan.

♪

Jordan, can I chat
with you?

You wanna sit
over somewhere?

♪

All right.

I hate what
happened last night.

The way that you
looked at Alex

and the way that you were
dancing with him, like, why?

♪

♪

I hate what happened
last night.

The way that you
looked at Alex

and the way that you were
dancing with him, like, why?

I danced with him
in the same way

that I danced
with Brian,

the same way
I danced with Malia,

the same way
that I danced with Kyle.

I really wish,
just as a human,

you would have respected me
enough to just say,

"Hey, this is
how I'm feeling,"

but, instead, it was like
I didn't deserve any respect.

I hope you know that

I'm sincerely
apologetic about that.

And maybe I have, like,
stronger feelings

than I thought
that I did.

I'm still trying to
process a lot of the things

but never wanted it to ever
be like that between us.

I care about you a lot,
and I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Can I have a hug?

♪

I think she's sorry
that she embarrassed herself,

probably,
'cause she did.

Our first fight.

Hopefully, our last.

I'd prefer it
to be our last.

I'm leaving.
Wanna move in with me?

Yeah, dude.

We can start a
new life together.

My relationship with one
of my best friends in the world

has been on the rocks,

and-and, you know,

there's kinda, like,
a void there,

and Alex,
he's filling that.

We've had such
a beautiful bromance.

First of all,
I love you.

I love you, too, man.

This works.

You just stole my breath.

I'm shaking.

I didn't want you guys
to forget about me.

I would never forget.

We're gettin' bunkbeds
next time we stay together.

All right, brother.

I am so grateful
for this trip.

Is it just you
on this flight, Tom?

Yeah, just me.
I'm lingering, though.

Flood!

Flood, come with me.

Okay.

I'm gonna miss you.

Why are you leaving me?

I wanna come
visit you in France.

Yeah, you need to come
see me and Malia.

Sorry for our
terrible date outside.

[laughing]
- That was funny.

It was the
worst date ever.

Yeah, you owe me a date.

That was terrible.

- You owe me Universal Studios.
- I know.

- And whatever Jumbo's is.
- Well, you'll find out.

It was fun looking
after a man-child.

[laughing]
- [BLEEP] you.

Bye, Tom!

All right, bye.

Obviously, I'm sad
Schwartz is leaving.

Bye, Katie!

But, you know, I feel like
my sidepiece is leaving,

and I can get back
to my life partner

and just spend some
one-on-one quality time

with my wifey.

- Eww, dude.
- What?

There's pepperoni
on our----ing floor.

This is-- I'm done.
[laughing]

We need
to get out of here.

But, like, in the end,

do you wanna be with some guy
for, like, ever?

Probably not.
Like, just, like,

I'd rather
have my best friend

when I'm 80 and, like,
sh---ing myself.

[laughing]
100% I'd wipe Katie's ass.

Yeah.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I'll do the same.

[sighs]

- You got it?
- Yeah.

[sighs]
- Chaos.

Is this is what happens
when you have a boyfriend?

Yep.

- All right, girl.
- Bye.

Bye.
Oh, yeah, I know.

As sad as I am to be
saying goodbye, like,

we had such an incredible time,
like, let's be real.

We're all getting
in the same car

to go to
the same airport

to get on the same flight,
and we're about to miss it.

Let's do it, kids!

All right.
Love you all!

Alex is just
peeing over there.

Pants are back on.

Where the [BLEEP]
am I supposed to go?

Yo, we have
room over here.

Oh, sick.

- Well, guys...
- We did it.

We came. We skied.

We conquered.

That's all she wrote, Steamboat.