All language subtitles for The.Perfect.Score.2004.ALL.WEBRip.en

ROY: "SAT."

Suck-Ass Test.

That's what that stands for.

PROCTOR: This is the
SAT I examination.

For the first section,
you have 30 minutes.

ROY: Last year,
two million kids

took the suck-ass test
in order to get into college.

Scores range from 500

if you're going to community
college riding a bus,

to 1,600 if you're Ivy
League driving a Porsche.

It's a standardized test.

Standardized meaning
they see us all the same.

A kid...

Is a kid...

Is a kid.

Take this kid,
for instance, Kyle.

He's a good guy who knows
where he wants to go in life.

But for now, the SAT

is standing in the way
of Kyle's dream.

It's telling him
"You're just..."

[BELL DINGS]

Time!

ROY: Then there's Anna,
the overachiever.

You know the type.

A future PhD.
With a nice A-S-S.

Good deeds.

Good grades.

But the SAT doesn't care
about that.

You could be the class brain,

a kid in the middle,

or dumb as a post.

When you walk into this room,

it's not about who you are.

The SAT is about who you'll be.

[CHIRPING]

It's a 1020,
Mr. Dooling.

[BOMB EXPLODING]

Well, I've seen worse.

I need a 1430.

I've applied to Cornell.

[CHUCKLES] Um...

And what are
your fallback schools?

I don't have any. [BIRD CHIRPS]

That's kind of risky, isn't it?

I mean, I'm looking
at your file here,

and while your GPA
is strong, your, um,

your PSAT score wasn't so great.

Don't you think that 1430
is, uh, is a little bit, uh...

Mr. Dooling,
when I was 7,

I built a log cabin
out of popsicle sticks.

Now, you can go
in the halls right now

and five of the first
six kids you talk to

are not gonna have a clue
what they want to do

for the rest of their lives.
But, Mr. Dooling...

I've known since I was 7.

I want to be an architect.

Now, as soon as I was
old enough to realize

that there's one school
that turns out

some of the greatest
architects of our time...

I wanted to go there.

Cornell University.

Cornell. [CHUCKLES]

You know the guy
who designed our bus barn?

He attended a community college

just down the street.

Dooling said you couldn't do it?

ROY: That's Matty,
Kyle's right-hand man.

They say misery loves company?

Well, it really loves Matty.

Dooling said the
standardized testing

says I can't do it.

You're down to a 1020?

Jesus. That's almost
as bad as me, man.

What'd you tell your parents?

Well, what do you think?

We've never been so proud, son.

Oh, hey.

Mmm, good.

Look it. 143.

That's what I scored.

Remember, Mom?
[LAUGHING]

Oh, my goodness.

Well, look at the positives.

At least one of us
is goin' to college.

Hello, Maryland.

ROY: Matty's girlfriend
Sandy

is a freshman at Maryland,

and he was now moments away

from hooking up with her
in the fall.

Open the letter, Matty.

Yeah, you're right.

Why should the fact
that you're screwed

ruin my big day, huh?

Oh, shit!

"SAT score insufficient."

This shit ain't fair.

Sandy's gonna be crushed.

Do you even know
what SAT stands for?

Suck-Ass Test?

Scholastic Aptitude Test.

Then they got rid
of that altogether.

You know what
it stands for now? Uh-uh.

SAT.

What?

SAT stands for SAT, that's it.

That's fucked up.

Yeah, I know.

Sever All Ties, SAT.

I mean, I may as well

sever all ties with Sandy.

There's gotta be
somebody we can talk to.

There's no one we can talk to?

Look, do you know how
many kids want to go up to ETS

and complain about their SATs?

I mean, if one goes up,
they all go up.

What about her?

Unless your father
owns the building.

So we'll take the test again.

The re-test is in two weeks.

There's no time to get ready.

And even if there was...
What's gonna change?

I'd better call Sandy.

[PHONE DIALING] She's gonna love this.

[LINE RINGING]

MAN: Yeah, Sandy's room.

[LINE DISCONNECTS]

Some guy answered.

Roommate's boyfriend.

He said,
"Sandy's room." So?

So her roommate's Pam.

He'd say "Pam's room,"
not "Sandy's room."

Pam's room. Pam!

All right.
All right, Matty.

You're wired.
It's the Red Bull.

No. No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no.

The SAT did this.

The SAT is pimping
out my girlfriend.

Damn it!

We gotta do something, man.

These people, they're
messing with the rest of our lives.

Matty, the college board made
millions and millions of dollars last year.

You think they give
a shit about us?

Jus, just hear me out, okay?
'Cause I'm not a dumb guy.

All right?
I know things. Ask me,

ask me who's got the best
pitching staff in baseball,

or ask me, ask me how
to rebuild a carburetor

on a '71 Buick.
Ask me,

ask me what icing is,
for Christ sakes.

Make the point, Matty. The point is,

where the hell's that
on the test?

Because you learn
the rest in college.

Look, I show up
for a job interview,

there's a science geek,
there's a math nerd.

Who's gonna get the job?

The guy who can throw down
at the water cooler.

The guy who's heard
the new Ataris disc.

The guy, the guy who yakked

in the backseat of your Cutlass
after the Radiohead show.

Me. Me. That's me.
I get the job.

I'm still seeing no point.

The point is that
they are not playing fair.

Why should we?

I mean, we know where
the answers are, ETS.

Maybe we should borrow them.

You want to steal
the answers to the SAT?

I mean, you have a talent, Kyle.

What you can do
with a pencil and paper,

I could never learn to do that.

But they have a test that
you're never gonna pass.

Matty, a lot of kids
struggle with the SAT.

That doesn't
justify thievery. No?

Did you see my dad's truck

in the driveway
when you drove up?

It's the, it's the one
with the large crapper

on top of it.

It doesn't say "Matthews
Septic" on it, Kyle.

It says, "Matthews
and Sons Septic" on it.

Look, if I don't
get into Maryland,

my life is shit, literally.

And it's not even my own shit.

LARRY: Kyle. Oh, dude,
check this out.

Listen. Listen.
Okay? Okay? Watch this.

[DISSONANT CHORD] [BUZZES]

[DISSONANT CHORD] [BUZZES]

[HUMMING]

Whoo! Whoo-hoo!

Thank you,
Princeton, New Jersey!

[LAUGHS]

I did, uh, Smoke on the Water.

[BUZZING]You hear that?

I'm worried about you, Kyle.

One of these days,
you're gonna try

to regain this
lost youth of yours

and you're gonna go
headfirst into a shit pit.

Is that what you're doing,

living at home,
jamming with the dryer?

I don't live at home, bro.
I live above the garage.

It's a whole separate dwelling!

I've got my own phone line.

Hey, honey.

You want to help me
grade assignments?

We're teaching the kids
to bubble in.

First graders? Mmm-hmm.

Mom, most of these kids
can't even read yet.

Well, I hate to say it,

but there's more money for
the school in bubbling in

than reading these days.

ROY: Now he gets it.

Just follow the money.

Standardized testing
is taking over,

and it starts
long before high school.

Test scores go up...

The schools get more cash.

In some cases,
even the teachers get paid.

It's enough to
piss you off. I mean,

when you get the feeling
that everything's slipping away,

that you're gonna be
left behind,

desperate times

call for desperate measures.

[THUNDER RUMBLING][PANTING]

Hey, Matty? If you wanted
to borrow the answers,

how would you do it?

The girl at ETS.

The one the guard let pass...

KYLE: You recognize her?

Francesca Curtis.

The web page girl?

ROY: Francesca Curtis.

Talk about your forbidden fruit.

Hey.

Do you guys know the name of
that kid with the Percocet addiction?

Um...

No? No?

No, no, no?

Um... No.

Okay, um, if you have
something for my page,

you have to write it down

and slip it in my locker.

I'll get back to you.

Oh, no, we're, um...

If you don't know
where my locker is,

you're in way over
your heads. Sorry.

MATTY: Actually...

We had something else in mind.

[CHEERING]

So you guys are gonna
steal the SAT answers?

Well...

You should. You should.

I mean, it's, it's anti-girl.

It's anti...
A lot of shit.

But it definitely
has girl issues.

I mean, it underscores us
on the math and verbal.

On top of that,
the college board

settled a complaint last year

that the PSAT
had a testicle bias

for national merit scholarships.

So you'll help us, then?

Um... No.

Why not?

Well, gosh, Pacey,
maybe I don't think

you and Dawson can pull
it off. Do you have a plan?

We're working on it. Yeah, we're working on it.

Oh. Oh. Okay.

You're wasting my time.

Wait, wait. But don't
you find it ridiculous

that from day one
they tell us to be unique?

They tell us to be individuals.

Then they give us
a standardized test

that makes us all
one faceless herd?

[CHEERING]

CROWD: Desmond Rhodes,
superstar!

Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.

$100 million a year.

Probably 60 million of that
from girls alone. For what?

To pick up a few stones
to throw at a bully

that doesn't fight fair anyway?

I mean, look around this place.

How many of these girls are
gonna get screwed by this test?

What's that gonna do
to their self-esteem,

on top of everything else
they have to deal with?

You think you may be
kind of preaching

to the converted here? KYLE: I know I am.

That's why we approached you.

We need your help.

What the hell.
It sounds like fun.

[SIGHS]

I told you.

CROWD: Desmond Rhodes,
superstar!

ROY: Desmond Rhodes,
all-city...

But his grades are shitty.

MAN: What do you think?

I look good in red.
I was thinking

more of a Philadelphia
76ers type red, though.

Is that why you haven't
taken the SATs yet?

The pros?

Maybe.

May I speak honestly?

WOMAN: Please.
I wish you would.

Des, I want you to
come to St. John's

because the fact
of the matter is,

your game is not ready.

If you come with me,

I'll do everything in my power

to get you to the NBA.

But if God forbid
you don't make it,

you're gonna have
a degree in one hand,

and you're gonna be
prepared for life

after basketball.

Now, you see, that's
what I'm talking about.

So where do we go from here?

Well, that's up to you.

You know, your
grade point average

is a little bit on the low end

for us
at St. John's,

but we can work with that.

What you need

is you need 900 or
better on the SATs.

Hey, Matty,
don't freak out, okay? [TOILET FLUSHES]

About what? Just don't.

I won't.
What's up?

MATTY:
What are you doing?

[SIGHS]

You remember the photographer
at the basketball game?

The girl at the baseline?

[CROWD CHEERING]

You told Anna Ross?

You said you wouldn't freak out.

That was before I knew
you told the class brain.

Yeah, well...
I'm sorry, Matty.

You ever think maybe we're
not the only ones in this boat?

What boat?

It's Anna Ross! I know.

What do you, what, what, what...

Well, what'd she say, anyway?

You know, I don't even know you,

but even if I did...

What you're talking
about is wrong.

It's, it's cheating.

It's a victimless crime.

Okay, hypothetical situation...

You're driving, it's late.

You get to a red light
in the middle of nowhere.

Do you run the light?

You see? You don't.

You wait. Because
a victimless crime

is still a crime.

It isn't worth it.

Maybe it is.
Maybe I run it.

It depends.

On what?

Am I trying to get
somewhere important?

So she's in. She said no.

Yeah, but
she knows about it.[SIGHS]

Oh, you like this girl?

[SCOFFS] Matt.

No, no, no, no.
'Cause I could see

you're trying
to get into her pants.

Matt, it wasn't like that.

I just got the feeling...

Something just tells me

she needs this as bad as we do.

Oh. Oh, okay,
something tells you.

Something tells you
just to walk up

to Anna Ross and invite
her to break into ETS

and steal the answers
to the SAT?

What, some inner voice
just signed off on this?

Yeah, it did, all right, Matt?

That is great, Kyle!

MAN: Oh!

[EXHALING]

[CHUCKLING]

ROY: Hey, that's me!

Just because they
keep getting younger

doesn't mean you will.

WOMAN: Oh, here she is.

The game run late, honey?

Anna's the yearbook
photographer.

Yeah. Yes. A little.

Anna, this is Tom Hackett,

an old friend, who might be
able to help us with Brown.

Hi, Anna. It's
a pleasure to meet you.

Hi.

Well, come on, honey, sit down.

Let me get that.

It's just her camera gear.

Ah. Hey, sweetheart.

So, great. Great.

[NERVOUS LAUGH]

So, Anna, uh...

What types of things are you
interested in besides photography?

Oh, tell him about
the pledge drive

you coordinated. Yeah. Yeah.

We asked students
to sign a pledge

to refrain from drug use...

Yeah. It was
very successful.

That's great.

She's also involved in several
other community-related projects...

[VOICES FADES TO
INDISTINCT ECHOES]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Hey, kiddo.

That went well. [CAR HORN HONKS]

Oh, I guess we won.

[CHEERING]

Yep, they did.

You know, your father
and I have noticed the effort

you've put into this re-test.

What if I mess it up again?

You won't.

You're gonna do great.

We're really proud
of you, honey.

[DIALING TELEPHONE]

Hi, who's this?

Cleo.

I think I dialed
the wrong number,

but you sound familiar.

What's your
Thursday morning class?

ME Lecture.
Mine, too.

Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

Uh, well, listen, I won't
keep you any longer,

but, um, oh, oh, hey,
before you go,

my roommates and I are
having this discussion.

Maybe you can help.

Yeah, what's the lowest
SAT score

you've ever heard of anyone
who's gotten into Brown?

Thanks.

[PHONE BEEPS]

FRANCESCA: ETS has
the entire top floor.

KYLE: Can you get
us up there?

Well, probably, but, then what?

[SIGHS] I don't know,

but we're not talking
about a big heist, okay?

It's as easy as getting in,

finding the answers, making
a copy, and getting out.

We've just gotta think
of the easiest way to do it.

[CROW CAWING]

[ROY IMITATING CROW]

[CAWING] [IMITATES CAWING]

[LAUGHING]

You've assembled
a crack team, chief.

Well, what was I
supposed to do, Matty?

He knows everything.
He threatened to bust us.

So does Anna Ross,
but she's not here.

You told Anna Ross?

Yeah. He had
a feeling about her.

Hey, was the feeling
anywhere near your crotch?

[LAUGHS]

Hey, guys... ROY: All right.

I have an idea.

FRANCESCA: The mail room
services the entire building.

They hire a lot of guys
straight out of high school.

They won't know you.
Just...

Act like you own the place.

Yeah, easy for you
to say. You do.

You want to know what
we're up against or not?

You'll be fine.
[GIGGLES]

Cornell still worth it?

Yeah. Sandy?

Yeah.

Good. Good.

'Cause we're in it now.

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

Can I help you?

These are the new
mail room slaves.

Ha! You guys forgot
your badges.

Losers!

Let's go.
Pay attention!

Roy, what the hell
are you doing here?

You mean other than
bailing you out?

How did you get in here?

[CHUCKLES]
I'm the ghost, man.

By the way, just so you know,

mail pickup...
Was this morning.

Mmm-ahhh!

Waiting till
the last minute, huh?

Hey.

Take a look at that.

Nice. Thanks, eh?

You think you could
help me with that?

Photography?

No. That.

No, I can't.

Come on, Anna.

For me? You ever heard
of the term

"stereotype vulnerability"?

It means that some students
do badly on the SAT

only because they know
they're expected to.

Yeah, well,
I'll tell you something

about stereotype vulnerability.

If you mess up on the SAT test,

you gotta live with it.
Your parents, maybe.

But if I do, I gotta read
about it in USA Today,

"Desmond Rhodes
is a dumbass."

You know, just because
I play ball...

Teachers been letting me
slide through since, like, forever.

I'm not trying to say it's
their fault, 'cause it's not.

I did what I did.

If there was some way I could
just get around this one thing...

It all means more to me now.

That's all I'm trying to say.

Excuse me. Huh?

Who are you? Uh...

Who am I?

Who are you?

This is my office.

Ah. Oh, yeah.

I'm from the mail room.

Well, do you have
something for me?

[CLEARS THROAT]
Yeah.

Well, could you give it to me?

Yes, I can.

Oops.

My bad.

Let me get that for
you. [CHUCKLES]

Anything else I can do for you,

while I'm down here?

Huh?

Huh, yeah...

MAN: Hey, hey, you.

Yeah, copy room, right?

Uh, right. Right.

Great.

I need two copies
of this on rush.

One comes back to me,
one goes to Ann Clark,

and the master goes to
510 for filing. Got it?

Sure.

Great.

Hey! Whoa!

What are you doing?

Casing the joint, right?

You...

Oh, thank you.
Here.

No, no, no, no. If we take
it, they might get suspicious.

They could change it
by next Saturday.

BOTH: Copy it.

[BEEPS] [SIGHS]

Say hello to your future, Matty.

[BEEPS]

MATTY: Septic And Toilets,
SAT.

KYLE: Come on, man,
it was a good run.

What run?
There was no run.

Yeah, well, whatever
it was, it's over.

ROY: Francesca was right.

We were screwed.

Oh... [SIGHS]

Well, at least she
didn't bring the cops.

ROY: Or maybe not.

If I wanted to do
what we talked about...

Will you need to know why?

No, but I don't think that's
gonna be possible now.

Oh.

Hey, can I ask you something?

Why'd you bail on your exam?

I didn't.

I saw your answer sheet.

It was practically blank.

I was doing fine at first,

then I came to a story question.

A woman boards a train
in New York at midnight.

Three hours later,
a man also boards.

For some reason,
I couldn't get past it.

Where was this woman going?
Why was she alone?

PROCTOR: Time!

I know it probably sounds crazy,

but it just hit home for me,

and I wanted to be on that train

and just be gone somewhere.

I guess I just froze.

When I got home, I realized

how disappointed
my parents would be.

I need to do great on this test.

Yeah.

Well, like I said... If it's money you want,
we can pay you.

No, it's not money, it's...

We?

Yeah, there's
someone else besides me.

[SIGHS] Please...

Don't say no.

Yes!

No! Come on, Matt.

What in the hell
is wrong with you?

It's one more person. It's Desmond Rhodes!

Besides, I heard
he was going pro.

Nah, man.

He's not strong enough
to be a four,

not quick enough to be a three.

Besides, he's got no left hand,

and his mid-range game
needs work.

I don't see it.

I mean, Anna Ross,
that's bad enough,

but do you know how
high-profile Desmond Rhodes is?

Well, he knows about it
and he wants in.

Anna says he needs it
and we can trust him.

Anna says he needs it.

What are we, a
frickin' soup kitchen?

[CHUCKLES]

Which brings me
to point number two.

Last I heard, we had
no way of doing this.

I've been thinking about that.

Hey. Hey.

Was your father suspicious?

Oh, no.
To be suspicious

he'd have to be interested.

Um, there are
security codes, too.

They gotta supply
the building owner

with a copy in case
of an emergency.

Yeah, I can get 'em. Okay.

Okay. Okay.

I will see you Tuesday.

Okay, I'll see you Tuesday.

Francesca. Yeah?

That bad, huh? My father?

No. Whatever.
I mean, you know.

Poor little rich girl thing's

a little played out,
don't you think?

It's, like, the oldest
story in the world, isn't it?

Not the true story.

All right.
I'll see you on Tuesday.

I will see you Tuesday.

Bye.

ROY: And sometimes
it's that easy.

Shit happens.
People join the cause.

And you find yourself
moving towards something

you didn't plan on approaching.

Only by the time
we were aware of it,

the plans of one
become the plans of six.

And the plans of six become one.

Hey. We're eating. [CELL PHONE RINGS]

Yeah.

Boy, what's up!
[LAUGHING][MUSIC PLAYING]

Who is this?

It's Roy,

from the SAT thing.

How did you get this number?

I'm the ghost, man.

Give it to me.

Who's calling, please? What?

[MUSIC STOPS]

Oh. It's, um, Roy.

Well, Roy,
this is our dinner time.

We don't interrupt
your dinner time, do we?

Well, I don't have dinner time.

Well, that's a shame.

Now, do you have some
business with my son?

Uh, well, I am,

at this time,

assisting him

in his SAT exam preparations.

And I was wondering

if he could possibly

pick me up this evening,

as I am currently

without transportation.

Oh, SAT...

Well, there's hope
for you yet, Roy.

Um, why don't
you give me that address?

I appreciate that, ma'am.

And, uh...

Uh, may I say

that you have
an attractive voice.

[CHUCKLES] It's, uh,

very pleasant.

Uh, young sounding.

Mmm-hmm.
The address, please. 4207,

Triumph Street.
With a "T." Triumph.

All right.
He'll be there.

Thank you, Roy.

Oh, God.

Be on time.

[GIGGLING]

Francesca, Tiffany.

Tiffany, my
daughter Francesca.Hi.

Hmm. Peace.

Peace.

Oh, no.

P-I-E-C-E. You.

[SOFTLY] No.
She's just kidding.

ROY: Dawg, cool.

All right.
Oh, my socks.

[GIGGLES]

[HIP HOP SONG PLAYING]

Aw, sweet!

What school gave you this?

It's my uncle's ride, man.

Then what school
gave it to your uncle?

Why in the hell you call
yourself the ghost?

At school, man.

I hear things and I see things,

but nobody hears or sees me.

You think.

Well, I got your
cell number, didn't I? So?

[CHUCKLES]

You got mine?

Ah.

This fool is crazy.

[TURNS MUSIC UP]

[TURNS MUSIC DOWN] Don't touch my shit.

8:00. So you're
absolutely positive

your brother's not
gonna be there, right?

Don't worry, Matty. We
got the place to ourselves.

He promised. You sure?

Yeah.

[LOUD MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, shit!

Oh, that's my brother.
Hey! Ooh!

[LAUGHS]

What's going on?
Salud. Salud.

Oh, sorry, bro. Hope it
comes out. What's up?

Larry, what the hell is this?

You said we could
have the place tonight.

Was that supposed to be tonight?

'Cause tonight is wine tasting,

wine-tasting Tuesday.

ROY: A-ha!
What's up?

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, yeah!

Wow. What's this?

Wine-tasting Tuesday.

Hmm, nice. Whoa. Whoa.

[CHUCKLES]

Look, Larry. Larry.

Hmm? You promised.

Yeah, I know.

But maybe we can
do it next Tuesday.

All right, this is ETS.

This is so cute, this whole
thing you're going through.

I'm sorry.

There was a misunderstanding.

Man, what the hell
is she typing?

I'm just taking notes.

All right. This is ETS.

FRANCESCA:
Who took that photo?

Uh, Anna took it.

Oh.

I'm not sure I'm
comfortable with this.

Oh, you look comfortable in
your Old Navy cotton pullover.

You gotta get this look.

Did I do something?

Yeah, you did something.
You got a 4.0 GPA.

Francesca, just stop it,
all right?

[SIGHS] Do you know what
the fatal flaw is for most heists?

Hmm? It's trusting
the team.

So excuse me for being a bitch,

but I'd like to know why
the valedictorian is here.

I'm not the
valedictorian. I'm second.

Oh, that explains everything.

Everyone has their reasons
for being here.

We don't need to
know them. Really? I think we do.

It'll be like that scene in The
Breakfast Club where they all get stoned

and make confessions
to each other. Ah, sweet.

MATTY:
Maybe we should.

Maybe we should all say
exactly why we're here.

Kyle said we wouldn't
have to, so...

Well, I think we do,
so, I'll start.

[DEEP SIGH] I'm here
to make new friends.

And for the wine, of course.

How about you, superstar?

I'm here 'cause
the SAT is racist.

Well, that didn't
take long, now, did it?

Oh, you don't think so?

Who created the test?
Rich white guys.

[GRUNTS] Who scores the highest
on the test?

ROY: Asian chicks.

Middle-class Asian girls who watch
less than an hour of television a day.

They can't drive,

but they can take the shit
out of the SAT, huh?

DESMOND: Whatever.
Why are you here?

Uh, 'cause I'm not smart enough

to get the score that I need,

as opposed to being this genius

who's being screwed
by the man. Matty...

It is, you know. It's
unfair to certain groups.

It is. Like kiss-ass
valedictorians.

I'm not the valedictorian.

Oh, right.
You're second.

All right!
Enough, okay?

[SIGHS]

KYLE: This is the
floor plan for the tower

that houses the regional
ETS office, okay?

This is the hardware schedule

that tells the specs
of security cameras

that are here,
here, here, and here.

Mmm. It's fruity,
and yet woody.

KYLE: Roy!

Pay attention.
Please.

Now, Francesca has the
codes to all the locks inside ETS,

and we know where
the test answers are filed. Shit...

So if you guys think
that we can somehow... [CELL PHONE RINGS]

Yeah.

Yo. Is this thing hemp?

This is never
gonna work. It'll be okay.

Oh, yeah. Yeah,
we're gonna be great.

I mean, all-state's phone is
ringing off the hook here, and...

[LIGHTER CLICKING] Roy's trying to smoke
Larry's comforter.

Hey, Roy! Roy!

I'm serious. You're
about out of here.

Shit. Shit!

You need some help with that?

Mmm, no, not unless you
can encode Visual Basic.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

DESMOND: Yeah.

There. What did you do?

I don't know.

Some shit with
the dynamic variables.

So we gonna do this or what?

Yeah, we're gonna do this.

How about you turn your phone
off and start paying attention?

You got a problem with me?

No, I got a problem with
anybody who puts us at risk.

So you think it's me? Fine.
I don't need this shit no way.

DESMOND: Anna,
you down with this? Uh...

You guys see Desmond
on TV this weekend?

Playing for
St. John's?

Took 25 and 10
off North Carolina.

Matty, you saw it, right?

You were at your apartment
with Sandy in Maryland.

I missed it.
I had a date.

But my roommate at Brown
is a big sports fan

and she said
it was pretty great.

KYLE: You know what?
It was.

I saw the whole thing
from my Cornell dorm room.

Roy, you had money on it.

Well, I hope
you covered the spread.

We can do this. Okay?

We can all get where
each one of us wants to go.

But we have got to
trust each other.

You talk a good game,

but I think your mom's
gonna come in with snacks.

This is serious.

Some of us got a lot to lose.

Uh, I think that we all
have a lot to lose.

All right, fair enough.
Just hear me out.

Anyone who doesn't
like the plan can walk.

Okay.

All right.

Friday afternoon, Francesca
will enter through the lobby.

The same as any other Friday.

Then, she'll make
appointments for me and Matty

with her dad's firm.

Well, what if he recognizes you?

He won't recognize me.

Oh, he might.

[PEOPLE SHOUTING][ALARM BLARING]

MAN: Hands up!

He won't recognize me.

All right, once I'm up and in,

Matty's gonna sign in
and join us

in Francesca's father's office.

Where am I gonna be?

You're waiting
in the woods nearby.

With that big-ass crow?

[CAWING] [CAWS]

Ahhh!

[SHUDDERING] Alone?

No, with Desmond and Anna.

Ah.

ANNA: Oh, Roy!

ROY: Yeah, baby!
You feel that?

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

Oh, give it to me, Roy.

Who's your daddy now?
Come on!

Maybe we should all go together.

KYLE: No, we need you
guys outside on the perimeter

for when the night guard
makes his rounds.

Now, their rotation
isn't really precise,

and we're gonna be using
flashlights inside.

So we'll watch out for the guards
to make sure you cut 'em off.

KYLE: Right.
Exactly. Exactly.

Now, inside, Francesca's
gonna ask the night security guard

to disconnect the alarm
on the rear stairwell door,

saying she has boxes
to unload from her car,

something she's done
in the past.

GUARD: Hold it right there.

[GRUNTS]

KYLE: Matty and I have
about 20 seconds

to get inside the stairwell

before the guard returns
to the front desk

and his security bank
of monitors.

We'll take the stairs
to the roof

and wait for Francesca's
key card.

From here we're almost home.

We get in, we get the answers,

and we get out.

Shortly after midnight,

this is me...

25 minutes
into Saturday morning,

and a whole lot closer
to the rest of my life.

Who's gonna join me?

All right.

[SIGHS]

You smoke?

Makes kissing kind of nasty.

Then we won't be kissing, huh?

I know.
I was just, um...

Why are you here?

I need the answers.

To join Sandy at Maryland.

What's so great about her?

I mean, aside from
being smoke-free?

You wouldn't get it.

Mmm.

Try me.

All right.

I mean, it's, like...
I don't get the best grades.

I'm not really great
at anything.

But here was something
that I was finally great at.

I was great at being with Sandy.

I could make her laugh.

I could guess
what she was thinking.

And it was just

great. It was...
It was great.

And?

And I just can't wait
to be great again.

We're here for the bank's money,

not your money.
Your money's insured

by the federal government.

You're not gonna lose a dime.

Think of your families.
Don't risk your life.

Don't try and be a hero.

Right now I want you
to sit on the floor

and put your hands on your head.

[BUZZES]

ROY: And so the day arrived.

We had packed it,

rolled it,

smoked it.

Now it was time
to ride the buzz.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

Yeah? Hey, it's me.

Set your phone to vibrate,
call me back, okay?

[BEEPING]

[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]

All right. From here on out,
we're gonna use redial.

Tell Roy the same thing, okay?

Okay.

Thank you.

[BEEPS]

Oh, shit.

I forgot the bolt cutters.

Huh? Just kidding.

That's funny.

Here we go. Masks.

Did you bring your floaties?

It's all I could find.

All right. We're here.

Answers are here.

Keep your mask on till we
get past the security cameras,

just in case.

[THUDS]

Ow. Ow!

You walk much? My mask is fogged.

All right, there's
a security camera

around the corner on the right.

So stay low and
tight to the wall.

What do we do if it sees us?

About three to six months
and a lot of community service.

Don't worry. It's not like I'm
gonna look at your underwear.

Who says I'm wearing any?

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[THUDDING]

Ooh! Matty, you okay?

I can't see...

I can't see through
this stupid mask!

Just... Just come forward.
Come forward.

Okay.

No, 2 o'clock.
2 o'clock.

2 o'clock. Oh!

No... Um... I...

KYLE: This way.
This way.

[WHISPERING] Where?

Grab my hand.
Grab my hand!

Thanks. This way.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Nature calls.

Yeah, it's something, isn't it?

No. Nature calls.

Can I ask you a question?

Why do you smoke pot?

Something to do?

Why do you bite
your fingernails?

[SIGHS]

KYLE: All right.

This is it.

Francesca?

Okay.

Okay, okay.[BEEPS]

Ladies and gentlemen,
I present you with...

A serious waste of time.

Why would you
lock the door to this?

This was it.

Matty, I swear this was it.

The answers went
to 510 for filing.

Yeah, well, "Went to"
doesn't help us now, does it?

I had the answers in my hands.

"One comes back to me."

Kyle, what... Kyle.

[RADIO SQUAWKS]

Shit!

What are you doing? Shh! Shh!

[RADIO CHATTER]

Ew. Who the hell was that?

That was Bernie. He's the night
lobby guard. He hits on everybody.

Well, he's early.

MATTY: Where were you going?

"One comes back to me."

The guy who sent me
to copy the answers

said, "The master goes
to 510 for filing,

"and one comes back to me."

FRANCESCA: So what do you want
to do, call him at home?

I want to find his office.

545.

Roy, what time do you have?

About that time.

Yeah, can you see the far
side of the building from here?

[LAUGHS]

I'm gonna go see if
I can get a better view.

[GRUNTS]

Holy shit.

My phone!

[GROANS]

My phone.

[GRUNTS]

Ah! Ah, shit!

[TAKES DEEP BREATH]

Roy! Roy, the guard!

There's a problem with my phone.

What problem?

Phone!

[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]

Yeah. Shut off the lights.
Shut off the lights.

Shut off the lights.

[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]

Yes?

ROY: Sorry. All clear.

Tell Roy I'm kicking his ass.

Hey, hey, I got it.

It's office 545.

Hey.

Maybe it's in here.

[SIGHS]

You know what this means.

[VIBRATES]

Hello.

It's for you.

Is it a chick?

Hello. Roy, we need your help.

Who is this?

It's Kyle, Roy.

Oh.

[PHONE RINGING]

Clyde's. Uh, Dave, it's Matty.

Hey, Matty.
What's up, man?

Um, I need some
flowers delivered.

Tell him roses.

Uh, make it roses.

And do you think
you could hook me up

with a bottle of champagne?

Uh, yeah, man.
I think I could do that.

All right, nice.

And, um... I need
a card signed,

um, from...

"From your
secret admirer."

"From your secret admirer."

Uh, here's the name and address.

ANNA: If you could do
anything with your life

and money was no object,

what would you do?

ROY: Anything at all?

When I was a kid,

I used to play this
video game for hours.

Street Fighter II.

And I remember thinking,

you know, people
get paid to do this,

to think up the game
and to create the characters.

Like there's this
one character... Blanka.

He's, like, half human
and half lizard...

Who eats his opponents.

Well, I mean, you know,

he either zaps 'em
with lightning

or he bites their faces off.

It's pretty cool, huh?

So you'd design video games?

Naw. I'd kinda like
to be Blanka.

I was thinking someday
I might want to be an actor.

Hmm. As opposed to
solving world hunger

or curing a terminal disease?

See what I mean?

I would run a no-kill
animal shelter... Or...

I'd just be a mom.

Not just a mother.

I would be a real mom.

You know, one who cared
more about the title of parent

than the one
on her business card.

Or porn.

Hey, guys, he's here.
Dave's here.

All right, Roy, when she opens
up the door, you haul ass.

What do I do? You wait here with me.

They only need Roy.

All right, flash, you ready?

[COUGHS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[COUGHS]

Roy, you need
to get off that bong.

[PHONE DIALING]

Okay, I'm here. Okay, wait. Not yet.

Wait me for me.

Are you sure they just need
Roy? Maybe we should go, too.

Just Roy, Anna.

[KNOCKING]

All right, Roy, get ready.

You Bernie? Yeah.

Delivery. Hmm?

[CHUCKLES]

[SNIFFS]

Go, go, go, go, go, go!

Go, go, go, go, go, go!

[BEEPS]

Go!

Aw, hell, dawg!

[GRUNTING] Oh, shit! Ooh!

[GRUNTS]

Whew!

Is he in? What the hell was that?

KYLE: Francesca,
is he in?

Oh, yeah, he's in, plus two.

What?

Oh, man, not steps!

[PANTING]

All right, Roy, we think the
answers are in this computer,

but there's a password.

Is this the guy? Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, um, um...

[TYPING]

[COMPUTER CHIMES]

You're a filthy man, Arnie.

Uh, what do they
call this thing?

"Verification Master."

[CHUCKLES]

"Mercer county SAT. Exam
to be administered fall 2004."

Print!

Shh! Print one and let's
get out of here.

[COMPUTER BEEPS]

Um, you need
three other passwords

and three other people to print.

So can't you figure it out?

Uh, sure, just give me six
months in the CIA mainframe.

FRANCESCA: Well, that
was fun.

Guys, the exam's right here.

Yeah, you just need the answers.

Exactly.

Oh, I get it.

Come on, team.
Makes perfect sense.

We'll take the test now

so we can steal our own answers,

and then we'll take
the real test

with the stolen answers we were
afraid would be wrong in the first place.

It's nice.
It's really nice.

Who wants pancakes?

Wait. No, no, no.
Guys, guys, guys.

The exam's right here.

Now, maybe we thought this
was bigger than us one-on-one,

but there's no way
it's gonna beat

all six of us together. Oh, come on, man.

Matty, just try this, okay?

"If it takes 15 people eight
hours to make 100 items,

"how many hours will
it take six people

"working at the same rate
to make half as many items?"

Uh... ANNA: Ten?

Ten hours?

"D." 10.

She's second in the class.

All right, all right.
Let's see.

"A 10-quart mixture
consists by volume

"of one part juice
to nine parts water..."

Jesus, what lightweight's
making this drink?

Ahem.

"If x quarts of juice
and y quarts of water

"are added to this mixture
to make a 27-quart mixture

"that consists by volume of
one part juice to 2 parts water,

"what is the value of x?"

ANNA: Nine.

"C" is nine.

No. It says, "If x quarts
of juice are added,

"what is the value of x?"

We already have one part juice,

so nine minus one equals x.

MATTY: Eight! Yeah.

"D" is eight.

He's right. Sorry.

No, guys, don't be sorry.

That's two down.

Now, we could walk
away right now,

but what are we
really walking away to?

I say we trust
each other's talent

and take a shot as a group.

I say he's right.
We can do this.

Yeah, unless we run out of time.

Right. So, we split it up.

Roy, can you access this
from another computer?

Yeah, as long as
it's in his office.

Done. All right? Someone's
gotta take a crack at verbal.

Francesca?

No, no, no. Me and words
are not so goodly.

Okay. Anna, you and I
will do verbal.

Someone's gotta do math.

I'll do it.

Are you sure? I mean,
it could be a little...

Have you ever heard of
the term "Kiss my ass"?

Math doesn't scare me.

You just take care
of the verbal.

Okay, um, who's helping Des?

Well, I guess I can,

but only with
quadratic equations,

coordinate geometry, and
algebraic visualizations.

Well, if you want.

ALL: Yeah.

Hey!

Well, Hasselhoff,
it looks like you and me.

We'll watch the lobby.

You know, you don't
have to wait there.

The guard's not due
for a couple hours.

You know, Sandy liked
this blue color...

"True Berry Blue."

Not anymore.

You said "liked."

You said,
"Sandy liked."

Likes. Whatever.

What's wrong?
She doesn't call anymore?

No, she calls.

She calls. Yeah, but...

Not like before.

She's busy.

Matty, it's over.

It's never gonna be
like the way it was.

Don't...

Look, you don't know
anything about it, okay?

Well, I know it's not healthy.

Oh, yeah, right,
and folding yourself up

into a web page 'cause Daddy
doesn't love you enough is, huh?

Uh, I'm... I'm... I'm sorry. I
didn't... I didn't mean that.

Then why'd you say it?

'Cause she doesn't call anymore.

Remember when you said that you
were great at being Sandy's boyfriend?

Well, you weren't.

That's nice, Francesca.

Why don't you just
rub it in a little...

You weren't great at being
some girl's boyfriend, Matty.

You just found someone who
let you be okay with yourself.

X is to y...

As this shit is to boring.

What score do you need
on the test, anyway?

A 900.

And you're taking
the math for us?

I was afraid of the verbal, Roy.

I could ace the math
and still not get 900.

So, when do you go pro?

You don't know my moms, man.

She all about college degrees.

She works three jobs.

If I blow my knee out
in college,

all I got is credits.

If I blow my knee out
in the NBA,

I got a four-year
guaranteed contract.

Millions.

So, what does she say
when you tell her that?

I can't.

You just don't know
my moms, man.

So, all this 'cause you
can't talk to your mom?

Can you talk to yours?

My mom's dead.

But if she wasn't...

Yeah.

I think I could talk to her.

Well...

Let me get in there, huh?

Whoa. Do your thing. Ooh!

You know, a lot of people
think these questions are difficult.

Not me. No?

[COMPUTER BEEPS]

No.

These questions
all have answers.

We good?

Yeah.

All right, let's get outta here.

[GRUNTS]

Roy, what's in your bag?

Um, nothing.

Oh, I needed
some school supplies.

Roy, you can't take this stuff!

Why not?

Because if anything's missing,

Francesca's gonna
get busted. So?

Why did you take
the guy's photo?

The wife is hot. Look.

Come on. I'll help you
take it back.

We'll wait here.

Anna and I will be on the roof.

[GRUNTS]

ANNA: I can't believe it!
This is so awesome!

You got your answers.

Yeah, that, too,
you know, but...

It's all of it.

We did it. Ow!

Shh! We haven't done
anything yet.

What's going on with you?

I don't know.
I'm having fun, I guess.

I mean, I know how
people see me.

Like one of those perfect girls

that everything
always works out for.

I just always wanted to
punch one of 'em in the face.

[LAUGHS]

I'm not a robot.

You know? I just haven't
done very much. Yet.

Well, if it helps, there's a
lot of stuff I haven't done, too.

Yeah, but I've never
really done anything.

I mean, I've never
broken curfew,

and I've never cut class,

and I've never...

Made out on a rooftop.

Shit! Shit! Oh, shit!

What happened? Someone's here.

Come on.

Roy! Grab my hand.

We'll pull you up. Wait, wait, wait!
Francesca first. Hold on.

[RADIO CHATTER]

KYLE: What's wrong?

Francesca's not gonna make it.

We gotta go. We gotta
go, man. Come on, man.

This is wrong. You're not
gonna leave her like this.

We don't have a choice.
Come on, let's go!

Hell, no. Oh, I'll go!

Rhodes, if your ass
doesn't get through

this skylight, the rest of
us are gonna get screwed.

Now, Francesca knew the risks
and so did you. Come on, man.

He's right, Des.
Come on!

Come on!

This shit is messed up.

Come on.

Come on, Roy.
Come on.

[GRUNTS]

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon.

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon.

Ahhh! Ahhh!

[GROANS]

Matt.

KYLE: Matt, come on.

Matty! Good.

What? Matt, come on!

Give me your hand.

I'm good, Kyle. Matt!

What about Sandy?

What about her?

This one's on me.

SECURITY: Hey! Hold it
right there.

Get your hands up.

[THUDS]

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

Kyle,

we gotta go.

I can't do this.

Guys, I can't
do this... Kyle, Kyle.

It's done.

We're gonna use the key card
to get out the back door.

Desmond and Roy go right.
We're gonna go left.

Meet at the car. I'll bring copies
of this in the morning. Come on.

[SIRENS WAILING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

So how'd it go?

Don't you sleep?

Not tonight.

What happened to you, kid?

What happened to me?

What happened to you, Larry?

You were supposed
to be my big brother.

What am I now, the walking dead?

Well, yeah, pretty
much. I mean...

How do you think
Mom and Dad feel?

I don't know. How
do you think they feel?

Well, I don't know, Larry.
Not good, probably.

Well, let me ask you a question.

You're a parent.
Which do you prefer?

The son who lives
above the garage

or the son who cheats
his way into college?

Next time you pull off a
heist, don't leave your plans

on my bed, idiot.

Matty got arrested.

So what do you think,
fair trade?

I think that's
a shitty thing to ask.

At least you're starting to
sound like my little brother.

Maybe he's actually
in there somewhere.

Is there anything
you don't know, Larry?

[LARRY LAUGHS]

There is plenty I don't know.

[GROANS]

But I will tell you something
that you don't know.

Did you know

that every Christmas
after you go to bed,

Dad, Mom and I, we sit up,

and we talk about
how proud we are of you?

How great it is
to see this kid, right?

His whole future
in front of him.

And how he deserves that.

'Cause he's a good guy
and he does the right thing.

Every Christmas for how long?

I don't know.
Ten years or something.

You don't think I
would've liked to sit up

with my family on Christmas?

[LAUGHING] Yeah, but you'd
just stress us out.

Good night, little brother.

Ah, word of advice.

Why not?[DEEP BREATH]

Never take advice from anyone

who lives above a garage.

How long since
your mother passed, baby?

Hmm?

Um...

Nine years ago.

I was eight.

Hmm.

That's a shame.

My son tells me

you encouraged him
to talk to me.

You're a smart boy, Roy.

So why are you doing a
stupid thing like drugs, hmm?

Um...

Something to do?

Something to do.

You know how they say, "Thank the
lord my mother's not alive to see this"?

No. Well, somebody's
mother is, Roy,

and I am not happy with this.

I'm... Sorry?

You get yourself a shower
and some clean clothes.

We'll wait.

Fix you some breakfast
before the exam.

Okay?

Uh, I... I've been
thinking about that.

[CHUCKLES] Mrs...

Uh, Desmond's mom.

Mmm-hmm.

I'm not taking that exam.

I mean, you know, let's face it,

I'm not going to college.

See, and even if I did,

I'd just be taking
the place of someone

that really wanted to be there

more than me.

Oh. You're a
smart boy, Roy...

[CHUCKLES]

But, baby, there's
a whole lotta dumb

dribbling out of
your mouth right now.

Now, did you hear what I said

about a shower
and clean clothes?

Uh... Yes.
Yes, ma'am.

You'll find I don't like
to repeat myself.

[CHUCKLES] Yes, ma'am.

[SIGHS]

Get your ass up!

Um, yes, ma'am.

Mmm-hmm.

[CHUCKLES] Fool.

[WHISPERS] Damn.

You know, not everybody
can pull it off,

but the dashing criminal
thing looks pretty good on you.

Yeah? Wait till
you smell it. [LAUGHS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

You know what I was
thinking in there?

Hmm? I need to work
on being alone.

Or not.

Anyone ever tell you
you're a hell of a kisser?

Yeah.

Not as good as
my cell mate Ramon.[LAUGHS]

But it's not bad.

What about the exam?

Here's the thing...

Once you've spent
the night in jail

with the worst version of
who you could be someday...

The SAT ain't nothin'.

How about you?
You gonna be all right?

Yeah.

I think it's gonna
be a nice day.

Hmm.

[LAUGHS]

Sick And Twisted.
SAT. Ha.

Secretly A Tease.

I completely have lost
touch with who you are!

Unacceptable, Anna.
Unacceptable.

You're out all night
doing God knows what,

with God knows whom.

You're jeopardizing everything
that we have worked for

on the eve of the
biggest day of your life.

This is the real world.
You remember that.

You feel pressured,
you deal with it.

You feel stressed,
you deal with it.

You do not stay out all night.

Do you hear me? This is your
last chance to get into Brown.

Oh, you know what?
That reminds me,

I'm not going to Brown.

Now you deal with it.

[DOOR OPENS]

Wow.

Check you out.

I just told my mom
I'm not going to Brown.

The guys at Brown
are gonna be disappointed.

Hell, the girls at Brown
are gonna be disappointed.

So if not Brown,
where you gonna go?

I don't know.

Europe, maybe, then college.

[DOOR OPENS]

What's up?

Nah.

Really?

I already nailed
the math, and plus,

you don't know my mom.

Roy?

Oh, shit, man,
you don't know D's mom.

[DOOR OPENS]

I wanted to go back
and get you, but...

Kyle said screw y'all.

Oh, yeah?

You look like a slut.

I like it.

Thank you.

I'm sorry, man.

Ah, shut up.
Don't be.

Besides...

It's not that bad.

[LAUGHS]

No, I don't need 'em.

[LAUGHS] Come on, man,
take them.

I'm serious. Take them.

I already took the test.
I'm not takin' it again.

Matt, you got arrested.

Hey...

Unbelievable.

Francesca? No.

All right, guys, what is this?

What? I wasn't in it
for the answers.

Besides, I got 1460
last semester.

You didn't tell us that.

You didn't ask.

All right, wait. Does this
mean you're out, too, now?

Do I look like
I need the answers?

You look like you need a pimp.

Wait, wait. Are you tellin'
me that after all of this,

nobody's gonna even
use these answers?

You are, aren't you?

No.

Kyle, this is your dream, man.

Yeah, it is, but...

If they want to put
a number on that,

then to hell with them.

I know who I am.

MATTY: Yeah?

Yeah.

When did you have this
little moment of clarity?

About the same time my
jackass best friend got arrested.

So all this was for nothin'?

I wouldn't call this nothin'.

Man...

Screw this!

PROCTOR: You have 30 minutes.

[TICKING]

ROY: Okay, so I didn't
cheat on the test,

but no way was I gonna
let those answers go to waste.

Next year at Harvard,

SAT stands for
"Stoned And Toasted."

Speaking of college, Desmond
kicked ass on the re-test

and decided to play ball
at St. John's University.

His mom was happy,

and, trust me,
you want D's mom happy.

Matty survived probation

and some serious
community service.

He once told me that he
might like to be an actor.

If not, then just happy.

He's workin' on both.

Francesca sold her first novel.

It's about six kids who conspire
to steal the SAT answers.

If they make a movie out of it,

I wonder who'll play me?

He better be hung like a horse.

Kyle did fine on his exam.

Anna crushed him.

He's at Syracuse now where his dream
of becoming an architect is still alive.

Anna went off to Europe

and eventually found her way
to college on her own terms.

Now, every other
weekend in New York

when a woman boards
a train at midnight

and a man boards
that same train,

now we know what happens.

Life happens...

Romance, adventure...

The stuff you won't
find on a test.

I had the highest
test score in the county.

But that didn't exactly
offset my 0.0 GPA.

Eventually, I was forced...
I mean encouraged

to get my GED.

[WATER SPLASHING]

I still spend most of my time

at home on video games.

In fact, the number one
selling game last year

was created by me.

[LAUGHS]

That's right, baby.

Standardize this!