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[snoring]
[clock ringing]
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[upbeat music]
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[joyful music]
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00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:38,000
Welcome to those of you
in sorry need of education.
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Today we will explore the history,
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00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:44,360
the legend of the most superior animal
on the entire planet.
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Ta-dah!
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Not even close.
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00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:52,080
Of the one million species
that inhabit this planet,
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00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:55,680
none elicit or deserve
more respect and admiration
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00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:57,080
than the cat.
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Sore loser.
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00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:05,920
Clearly, the cat,
known scientifically as felis catus,
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00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,440
is the most regal animal
on the Earth.
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We can trace the history of the cat
back to prehistoric times.
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A time when saber-toothed cats
roomed the land.
17
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The mighty sabertooth
was master of the land,
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a great hunter
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graced with keen senses of sight,
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hearing and smell.
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When he spotted
a delicious prehistoric mouse,
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his feline instinct sprang into action.
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As his primitive cat cravings took over,
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he became a crazed beast,
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and nothing could stop him.
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00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:44,640
Sadly, the sabertooth was wiped out
13,000 years ago.
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Here's our next lesson.
In ancient Egypt,
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cats were worshipped as gods.
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As well they should be, then and now.
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We worship you.
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We adore you.
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We love your hat.
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You rock.
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00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:04,080
Thank you, thank you.
35
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Really, you shouldn't.
36
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:07,200
What am I saying?
37
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,560
Yes, you should!
38
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:10,080
And now, we dance.
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00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,160
[Egyptian music]
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Ah, those were the good old days.
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Back when they knew
how to treat a cat right.
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Check this out.
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Back in the Middle Ages,
the king of Wales said
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that cats were not only cute and clever,
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but also valuable.
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From this day forward,
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I decree that all cats
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are to be honored and protected!
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They are cute, clever,
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00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,800
and, most important,
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they are excellent at catching mice!
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Boo! Hiss!
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Get him off!
54
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,480
Notice how cats love to eat mice!
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00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,840
Relax, I'm not going to eat you.
56
00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:16,360
Thou shalt not?
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00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:18,640
No. Just playeth along.
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00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:20,400
[mouse screaming]
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[applause]
I've got to get a cat!
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00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:26,120
[acclamation]
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00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,720
So began the myth that cats eat mice.
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00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:30,120
They don't?
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00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,440
Of course not.
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00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:34,240
Use what little common sense you have,
pooch.
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Here's a mouse and here's a pizza.
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Which one would you rather eat?
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00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,920
It would be wrong, very wrong,
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00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:45,560
to think the only value of a cat
is to rid the world of mice.
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No!
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00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:51,480
In fact, cats have been behind,
if not directly, responsible for
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00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:54,320
some of the greatest moments in history.
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00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:56,720
For instance,
back in the Arabian desert,
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00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:59,120
a long time ago...
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00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,200
Here, my cat, I have packed your food,
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00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,080
in these handy bags
made from the lining of sheep's stomach.
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00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,000
In here are some mice.
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[ironically] Oh, yummy.
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00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,400
Mice for me to eat.
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00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:13,040
And in this one
is some goat's milk.
80
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:16,280
Oh, that's a little better,
but not much.
81
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:20,880
Couldn't we stop off for Chinese food?
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00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:24,320
The nearest place
is only 3,000 miles away.
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00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,640
Enough nomading for one day.
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We stop here.
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Boy, was it a hot one today.
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00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:37,920
Since I'm not about to eat mice,
I guess I'm stuck with this goat's milk.
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00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,320
[tinkling]
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Hey, something's wrong
with this stuff.
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00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:48,680
It solidified
into ripened curds of soured milk.
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00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:50,040
Does anyone have a cracker?
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00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:51,040
Yes.
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Triple yum!
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I believe
I just invented a new food.
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[all mice] Give me some of that!
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This is a great invention.
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00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,880
I shall call it... cheese!
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00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:10,040
Now he's giving cats credit
for inventing cheese!
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00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:11,600
That's ridiculous.
99
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,600
Everyone knows
cheese was invented by a mouse.
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00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:17,040
But aside from inventing cheese,
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00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,120
cats have made
other great contributions to the world.
102
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:21,080
For instance...
103
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,880
Florence, Italy, 1503.
104
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:27,240
The guy at the easel
is Leonardo Da Vinci.
105
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,320
Yes, yes!
106
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,240
I can see it coming together now!
107
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:35,240
Not what you'd call a masterpiece.
108
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:40,880
Stop, gatto!
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00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,800
Stop, little topo!
110
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,840
You will ruin
the great painting I am doing,
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00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,560
which is destined to hang forever
112
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:51,160
in the galleries of the world.
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00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:53,320
[screaming]
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00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,640
[crying] My beautiful painting!
115
00:05:57,840 --> 00:05:59,600
Hey, calm down, Lennie.
116
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,760
It's not that wonderful.
117
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,800
I could paint a better painting
with my tail.
118
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,360
Now, what shall I paint?
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I know, your sister Shirley.
120
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:17,720
[Da Vinci] Terrible!
121
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:23,120
But the people who buy art
have so little taste.
122
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Good, gatto, good.
123
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:27,560
What can I give you as a reward?
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00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,520
Well, hundreds of years ago,
125
00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:33,720
my ancestors invented cheese.
126
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:36,760
I was wondering if you,
being Italian, of course,
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00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,480
could combine it
with tomato sauce,
128
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,960
and layers of flat pasta noodles.
129
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,120
Then bake for, say,
130
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:46,280
one hour,
in a 350 degree oven?
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00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,040
Now a cat created lasagna!
132
00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:53,240
And painted the Mona Lisa.
133
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:55,120
1804.
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00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,400
The study of the great composer
135
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Ludwig van Beethoven.
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00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:00,720
Nein, nein, nein!
137
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It's all wrong!
138
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,960
Oh, hello, Amadeus.
[purring]
139
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,440
Have you caught any mice, today?
140
00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,280
[first notes
of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony]
141
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,120
[purring]
142
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Wait! Do that again.
143
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,400
[singing first notes
of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony]
144
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Oh, brilliant!
145
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,560
Thank you, Amadeus!
146
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:27,480
You deserve a tasty reward!
147
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That's the truth.
148
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A cat was responsible
for Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.
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Brilliant!
150
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[mouse]
He's taking credit for everything!
151
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No! Hey! Stop!
152
00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:41,200
Come on, guys!
153
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,360
Wait! It's me!
154
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,600
What's all this talk
about cats doing this
155
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and cats doing that?
156
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:52,760
You make it sound like cats
have done everything good!
157
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,360
Hey, I can't rewrite history. Can I?
158
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,360
That's all you've been doing here.
159
00:07:58,520 --> 00:07:59,960
Tell them the truth, Garfield.
160
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,840
Well, it mostly happened like--
161
00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:02,920
The truth!
162
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:07,640
Or we'll let Jon know how many pizzas
you put on his credit card last month.
163
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:09,240
All right, all right.
164
00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:11,320
[hawking]
165
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:12,920
Ladies and gentlemen,
166
00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:15,400
there were a few details I left out
167
00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,520
of the stories I just told you.
168
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,360
Hey, something's wrong with this stuff.
169
00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,600
It solidified
into ripened curds of soured milk.
170
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:26,720
This stuff is tasty.
171
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,880
-I think I've died and gone to heaven.
-Tasty!
172
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I think we should call this stuff
173
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cheese!
174
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:35,640
Cheese? Why?
175
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:36,760
Because...
176
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:41,720
it looks more like cheese
than anything else I can think of.
177
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,040
Okay, everyone.
178
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,440
Let's record this moment in history.
179
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:48,520
Everyone look at me
and say "cheese"!
180
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,680
And that story about Leonardo Da Vinci,
181
00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:55,120
well, it was true what I said.
182
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:56,120
Sort of...
183
00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,520
[crying] She's ruined!
184
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:04,360
Yeah, sure looks that way.
185
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:08,160
Maybe you should try painting clowns
or Elvis on black velvet.
186
00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:11,040
Hey, I know how to fix that!
187
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,600
[classical music]
188
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,680
Actually, it's not bad.
189
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,000
Not bad at all.
190
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:22,920
[phone ringing]
Hello?
191
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:24,640
Yeah, he's here.
192
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,000
It's for you, the Louvre, in Paris.
193
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,240
They heard about your new painting--
194
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,920
News travels fast in the world of art.
195
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,720
Hello, the Louvre?
196
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:39,280
Why, that is the greatest art museum
in the world!
197
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,880
Little topo, I want to reward you.
198
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:46,960
I want to cook
something wonderful for you.
199
00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:51,200
Well, I had this idea
for something called lasagna.
200
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,000
Lasagna? No.
201
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,200
No one will ever want to eat
something called...
202
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,080
lasagna.
203
00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:59,240
Who knew?
204
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:02,800
And then that story about Beethoven
and his Fifth Symphony...
205
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,640
Amadeus! There is a mouse in here!
206
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,960
Boy,
for a guy who doesn't hear so good,
207
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,400
he's good at hearing mice.
208
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,280
Hey, take it outside, fella.
209
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,080
Now I have to chase him, I guess.
210
00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:25,080
[upbeat music]
211
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,040
Ah, it's no use!
212
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:30,120
I do not even know
how to start my fifth symphony.
213
00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,840
Maybe I should skip it
and move on to my sixth.
214
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:34,920
[first notes of the Fifth Symphony]
215
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:35,920
Wait!
216
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:37,360
That is it!
217
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:38,960
[singing] Ta, ta, ta, taaaa
218
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,480
Genius! Thank you, little mouse!
219
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,200
Thank you!
220
00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:45,520
So you see,
221
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,200
though cats have made
their contribution to history,
222
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:49,480
and so have mice.
223
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:50,440
Garfield,
224
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:51,960
that was terrific.
225
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,560
We misjudged you.
226
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,840
You're a pretty honest cat.
227
00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:59,280
Yeah, it takes a big cat
to do something like that.
228
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:00,440
Thanks.
229
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,800
-Bye.
-Thanks.
230
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,280
So long.
231
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:06,640
[Odie muttering]
232
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:11,240
No of course we're not going to put
that stuff about mice on the air.
233
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:15,200
We'll edit it out and just show
the part about how great cats are.
234
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,440
This DVD is the show we just did.
235
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,040
I'm supposed to send it
to the networks so they can
236
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:24,480
broadcast it to the whole country.
237
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:25,800
But I won't.
238
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:27,880
That one goes in the trash.
239
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,000
Instead I'm sending them this one,
240
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,520
in which I edited out the mice stuff
241
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:35,600
and just left in the part
about how great cats are.
242
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,040
[Odie muttering]
243
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:41,600
No, it's not unfair, it's just sneaky.
244
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:45,600
Besides, name me one smart thing
mice have ever done.
245
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:54,840
Well, for one thing,
we're really good at switching videos.
246
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:56,520
[laughing]
247
00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:58,120
[joyful music]
248
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,040
[upbeat music]
249
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,880
Subtitling: ECLAIR
17194
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