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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:04,681 - okay, is everybody here? - yeah, I think so. 2 00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:06,745 Could you hurry This up? I'm on the air. 3 00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:12,955 - I only count seven. - me too. 4 00:00:12,979 --> 00:00:15,959 - who's missing? - you didn't count yourself. 5 00:00:15,983 --> 00:00:18,128 Sure, he did. Think you're Dealing with a fool? 6 00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:20,119 - shut up, herb. - right, big guy. 7 00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:25,135 All right, the reason I called You all in here this morning 8 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,137 Is, uh... 9 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,806 Ah, darn it, let's Just be frank. 10 00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:31,975 I want to ask each And every one of you 11 00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:34,611 For a personal favor. 12 00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:37,536 As you know, I belong To the local kiwanis club. 13 00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:49,559 Now, granted, 14 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,217 That is an all-men's Organization, but... 15 00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:01,237 And while we didn't Have, and still don't, 16 00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:04,663 A large minority Membership, we... 17 00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:13,717 Look, I would just like to Say right here at the outset 18 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:16,686 That if any of you people Are in here just because 19 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,455 I'm the boss, then I Think you should leave. 20 00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,078 I just personally... 21 00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:28,987 You see... 22 00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:38,041 This year, I have been Made the chairman 23 00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:41,711 Of the charity fashion Show and bazaar. 24 00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:43,168 Travis! 25 00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:47,050 And the theme this year 26 00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:50,053 Is "Surf city, u.S.A." 27 00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:52,044 In cincinnati, ohio? 28 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:55,592 Yes. 29 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,661 And I was gonna ask everybody 30 00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:01,531 If he or she would Participate in the fashion show 31 00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:04,066 As a model. 32 00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:06,402 Everybody but herb, of course. 33 00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:08,872 Jennifer, could we count On you again this year? 34 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,473 Of course. 35 00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:12,264 Oh. 36 00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:18,281 A model? 37 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:19,816 It's for a good cause. 38 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,887 Oh, I don't know, man. 39 00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:27,745 - what's that? - I said, I've never been A model before. 40 00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:31,361 - well, you'd like it. - oh! 41 00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:33,429 I don't know about that. 42 00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:36,099 Oh, do it for mr. Carlson. 43 00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:37,963 I'd sure appreciate it, andrew. 44 00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:42,193 - well... - come on! 45 00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:46,698 Well, okay. Geez. 46 00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:51,681 Jennifer, I was hoping, And very deeply, in fact, 47 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,849 That you would appear On our advertising poster. 48 00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:56,453 Of course, that Would necessitate your 49 00:02:56,477 --> 00:03:00,111 Posing, uh, in a bathing suit. 50 00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:05,684 - well, mr. Carlson... - well, why not? You'd like it. 51 00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:11,701 - I have to think about it. - what's to think? 52 00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:14,838 Come on, do it for mr. Carlson. 53 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:16,873 It would just be you, jennifer, 54 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:20,098 And andy, standing there In your bathing suits. 55 00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:26,483 I'll do it. 56 00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:30,587 ♪ baby, if you've Ever wondered ♪ 57 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:34,657 ♪ wondered whatever Became of me ♪ 58 00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:39,195 ♪ I'm livin' on the Air in cincinnati ♪ 59 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:43,767 ♪ cincinnati, wkrp ♪ 60 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:47,871 ♪ got kind of tired of Packin' and unpackin' ♪ 61 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:52,174 ♪ town to town, up And down the dial ♪ 62 00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:56,746 ♪ maybe you and me Were never meant to be ♪ 63 00:03:56,770 --> 00:04:00,116 ♪ just maybe think Of me once in a while ♪ 64 00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:06,044 ♪ I'm at wkrp in cincinnati ♪ 65 00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:11,227 And it's 57 degrees at 9:35. 66 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,630 Here's one recorded live At madison square garden, 67 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,632 In new york city, the Big "No nukes" rally. 68 00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:17,834 "Runaway," with bonnie raitt. 69 00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:20,303 I'd like to. 70 00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:23,640 ♪ as I walk along... ♪ 71 00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,942 - fever, relinquish the board. - what? 72 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:28,311 There's been a startling Development in the news. 73 00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:30,335 What, a shift in The wind direction? 74 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:34,017 Johnny, I am a Trained professional. 75 00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:35,551 This is important, trust me. 76 00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:37,353 Okay, les. 77 00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:39,889 This is les nessman With a special news b... 78 00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:42,391 Why is the music still on? 79 00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:49,354 Boy, what a lousy board. 80 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:56,139 Today, the queen city stretched Wide its welcoming arms 81 00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:59,242 To the ohio hog Farmers' association 82 00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:02,512 On the occasion of their Annual pork festival. 83 00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,648 This reporter has learned From a reliable source 84 00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:06,482 Close to the hog persons 85 00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:09,886 That yours truly, les nessman, Has been named featured speaker 86 00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:13,045 At the closing night's swine Soirée and dinner dance. 87 00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:16,693 Congratulations, les. 88 00:05:22,056 --> 00:05:23,989 Road to a stronger america. 89 00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,896 Tickets are on sale at Selected agencies everywhere. 90 00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,443 You sure this guy's good, herb? 91 00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:38,169 He is the best photographer In cincinnati... For the money. 92 00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:43,152 Whoo! Here he comes! 93 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,024 Andy, what is happening here? 94 00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:52,028 I'm dying, les. 95 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:53,830 Don't let him get You down, travis. 96 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,432 You're really helping The new children's home. 97 00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:58,490 Well, that's very nice, andy. What are you doing for them? 98 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,472 I'm posing in a... In a bathing suit. 99 00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,930 Oh. Ooh-la-la-la! 100 00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:08,812 Well, I think it's a good idea. 101 00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:11,996 I mean, how come the women are Always doing the cheesecake, huh? 102 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:16,619 It's about time we Got to see a little... 103 00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:18,677 Beefcake. 104 00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:26,129 Mr. Carlson, I can't do this. 105 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,896 Travis, ignore this. 106 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:31,000 Come on, they're just Teasing you a little bit. 107 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,768 All this is gonna be is a... 108 00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:35,104 Is a picture of a young couple Standing on a beach, waving. 109 00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,805 Nothing more than that. 110 00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:39,575 Come on, let's go get jennifer. That photo session's at 2:00. 111 00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:42,345 - come on. Trust me. - herb: come on, Come on, come on! 112 00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:44,180 Ay-yi-yi! 113 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:45,936 Let's go! Let's go! 114 00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:52,054 ♪ eat your heart Out, hugh hefner ♪ 115 00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:56,492 Hey, you guys ready yet? 116 00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:58,583 Jennifer: just about there. 117 00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:10,907 Andy? 118 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,208 Are you ready? 119 00:07:13,232 --> 00:07:14,666 Andy: no. 120 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,815 What's the matter? 121 00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,917 Nothing. Go away. 122 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,285 Oh, come on. There's nothing to it. 123 00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:26,229 If you're talking about my Bathing suit, you're right. 124 00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:30,782 I know. Mine's the same way. 125 00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,588 This is stupid. 126 00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:01,757 Ooh, hey, hey, hey! 127 00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:04,193 You two look terrific! Whoo! 128 00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,195 Tarlek told me I was Going to enjoy this, 129 00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:09,499 - but va-va-va-voom! - oh, dear. 130 00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,804 Hey, pal, give me a hand With the backdrop, will ya? 131 00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:20,876 There you go. 132 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,878 A little more. 133 00:08:22,902 --> 00:08:25,014 Right there. Right there. And... 134 00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:27,038 - is this okay? - perfect. 135 00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:30,686 Andy? 136 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,343 Andy? 137 00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:40,563 I'm coming, annette. 138 00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:43,232 Now, get in there. That's it. Move in there. 139 00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:46,469 Look at that backdrop. They Said it was no good... It's perfect. 140 00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:49,438 Okay, now, the two of You, give me some skin here. 141 00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,607 Flash the bods around, And I'll just click away. 142 00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:54,109 Make it look real sexy. 143 00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:56,212 What? 144 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:58,147 Make it look real sexy. 145 00:08:58,171 --> 00:08:59,848 "Sexy"? 146 00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:02,240 Okay, okay. Uh, wave. 147 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,855 Herb called this guy, right? 148 00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:08,813 Was there ever any doubt? 149 00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:11,894 Yeah. Yeah, that's great. 150 00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:13,462 Fabulous. 151 00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:15,353 Okay, now, 152 00:09:16,789 --> 00:09:20,069 I want you to move around The beach and frolic. 153 00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,059 Give me a lot of frolic. 154 00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:28,077 I'm not gonna frolic. 155 00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:30,313 Hey, pal, give me A break, will ya? 156 00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:32,982 These are beach Shots. You got to frolic. 157 00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:36,385 Jennifer, talk to him, will Ya? You've modeled before. 158 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,255 Andy, I think we Really do owe them 159 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,246 A certain amount of frolic. 160 00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:55,338 I don't know how to do it. 161 00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,673 Could we just throw This ball back and forth? 162 00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:59,631 - anything. - okay. 163 00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:03,646 Take it away. 164 00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:05,603 - come on. - okay. 165 00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:10,453 The guy's a regular Troy donahue. 166 00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:12,855 I'm sorry. 167 00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:14,857 Tra-la-la, fun, fun, fun, 168 00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:18,093 And... Thank you very much. 169 00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,062 - that's it? - that's it? 170 00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:23,732 That's it. Except for a couple of Release forms I want you to sign. 171 00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:26,169 - what for? - oh, it's just routine stuff. 172 00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:29,593 Gives your permission for publication Of any pictures taken on these premises. 173 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:36,012 - now, can we get Our clothes on? - hey, come on. 174 00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:38,581 You loved it, didn't you? 175 00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:42,806 I thought it stunk, And I despised it. 176 00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:45,609 Okay. 177 00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:12,614 And so, ladies and gentlemen, 178 00:11:12,638 --> 00:11:14,683 My main point tonight is, 179 00:11:14,707 --> 00:11:17,019 Ta-da, ta-da, ta-da, blah, Blah, blah, etcetera, etcetera. 180 00:11:19,545 --> 00:11:22,591 Oh, no, no, no. You're too kind. 181 00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:24,994 No, no, no. Please, please. 182 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,763 Ah! Ah! Ah! 183 00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,465 Ladies and gentlemen, please, 184 00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:32,335 I must be allowed to continue. 185 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:35,537 Hog persons, please. 186 00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:38,140 My voice can't be Heard above this ruckus. 187 00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:52,655 - morning, guys. - hey, travis. Oh, how did Your photo session go? 188 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,923 I hated it. I'm never Doing anything 189 00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:56,926 Like that again ever Again in my whole life. 190 00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:58,995 Tell the big guy. It's his idea. 191 00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,451 Well... 192 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:04,500 Hello. 193 00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,035 Please. 194 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:10,461 How's it going, big boy? 195 00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:17,747 Sit down. 196 00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:20,616 We'll talk. 197 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:24,576 How about a... Champagne cocktail? 198 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,629 Uh-uh. 199 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,239 Anybody home? 200 00:12:58,077 --> 00:12:58,509 Hello? 201 00:12:58,533 --> 00:13:01,557 Photographer: I'm in here. Be with you in a minute. 202 00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:03,247 Okay. 203 00:13:07,053 --> 00:13:09,164 I'll just wait right Out here for you, okay? 204 00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:18,641 Thanks, pal. You Know what this was? 205 00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:21,544 - no. - well, now nobody else Will either. 206 00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:23,178 Gee, I'm sorry. I... 207 00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:24,980 Yeah. Oh, what the hell? 208 00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:27,416 I'm all through with this Penny-ante stuff anyway. 209 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,152 Okay, what can I do for you? 210 00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:30,319 Uh, my name's arthur carlson. 211 00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:31,954 I'm here to pick up the pictures 212 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:34,290 For the "Surf's up In cincinnati" poster. 213 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,759 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Got 'em Right here. Wait just a minute. 214 00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:38,227 Tell me something: 215 00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:40,451 You work for that same Loony toon tarlek does? 216 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,435 Yeah. 217 00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:49,772 Whoops! Not these. Whoo! No, sirree! 218 00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:51,707 Uh, wait a minute. I've got yours here. 219 00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:54,811 Just let me look for... I Bet you they're in the dryer. 220 00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:57,034 Just give me a minute. 221 00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,293 Hey, you're gonna love... Hey, hey, hey. Give me those. 222 00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:13,295 What's the matter with you? 223 00:14:13,319 --> 00:14:15,231 Well, that... That's My... My receptionist. 224 00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:17,633 My secret... That's my jennifer! 225 00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:19,602 So what? 226 00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:22,104 She's... She's... Naked. 227 00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:25,396 Look, pal, here are your Pictures. I'll bill you. 228 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:30,745 - where'd you get those? - she posed for them. 229 00:14:30,769 --> 00:14:33,349 No, she didn't. She Wouldn't do that. 230 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,885 Well, then, it's her Word against mine. 231 00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:38,053 And besides, pictures don't lie. 232 00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:40,289 Now, look, I'm very busy. 233 00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,291 What are you Gonna do with those? 234 00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:43,692 I'm gonna sell them. 235 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,184 That's what I do for a Living: I sell pictures. 236 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,498 You're gonna sell Those pictures to some 237 00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:51,601 Cheap girlie magazine? 238 00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:53,958 No, I'm gonna sell them To the catholic church. 239 00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:58,908 Just wait a minute. 240 00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,910 You sell those Pictures for publication, 241 00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:04,447 I'm gonna have my lawyer all Over you, and don't think I won't! 242 00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,315 I don't think so. You see, 243 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,651 I got the lady's Release form right here. 244 00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:12,722 Look, pal, I've been Doing this for years. 245 00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:15,991 What's legal, what's Not. I'm no amateur. 246 00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:18,427 I've been waiting for the Big one. This little lady is it. 247 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:20,395 It's like those marilyn Monroe pictures. 248 00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,464 playboy built an Empire on those. 249 00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:24,900 Those photographs are like gold. 250 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:28,392 I'm the one responsible for her Coming here in the first place! 251 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,775 Oh, come on. 252 00:15:33,799 --> 00:15:35,611 This isn't right. 253 00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:38,013 What can you do? Huh? 254 00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:39,648 You can't do nothing. 255 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:42,272 Go home. 256 00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:02,204 Hello, mr. Carlson. 257 00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:04,540 H... Hello, jennifer. 258 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,375 Did you see the pictures? 259 00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:07,677 Yes. 260 00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,945 Are they good? 261 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,814 Yes. 262 00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:14,784 - you liked them, then? - y-yes. 263 00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,952 Well, that's good. 264 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,121 Yes. Is herb here? 265 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,857 I think he's back in the bullpen. They're all playing cards. 266 00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:23,647 Oh, good. 267 00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:29,765 Well, that ends our little Five-minute card break, boys. 268 00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:31,800 - back to work. - oh, hi, a.C. 269 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,936 - hi. - pick a card, big guy. 270 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:37,606 Herb, although it's been said Many times, many ways, you're fired. 271 00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:39,307 And I'm not kidding. You're gone. 272 00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:41,210 - wait a minute... - I'm sorry, herb. That's it. 273 00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:44,113 - mr. Carlson, what's go... - oh, and you, travis, You were there. 274 00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:46,916 - you were supposed to Be her escort. - what? 275 00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:49,952 This photographer Of herb's choosing 276 00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:52,388 Has somehow gotten nude Pictures of our jennifer. 277 00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:54,345 - let's see 'em. - where are they? 278 00:16:57,616 --> 00:16:59,595 No, he didn't. 279 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,430 I saw them in the office. 280 00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:04,366 What is he gonna do with them? Sell Them to some girlie magazine or something? 281 00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:07,570 No, he's gonna sell them To the catholic church. 282 00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:09,238 Wise up, venus. 283 00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:10,973 Hey, I just asked A question, man. 284 00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:13,576 Look, I'm sorry, but I'm upset by all of this. 285 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,777 Jennifer doesn't even know 286 00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:17,813 What an injustice Has been done to her, 287 00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:20,416 And I'm the one that's gonna have To tell her because it was my idea. 288 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,185 I mean, were it not for me, This would not have happened. 289 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,209 Sounds to me like I'm not fired. 290 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:33,461 I can't blame you, herb. 291 00:17:33,485 --> 00:17:35,463 I thought I could. 292 00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:39,201 I dearly wanted to. But I can't. 293 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,726 How... Nude is she? 294 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:47,743 Well, this, uh... Nude-nude. 295 00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,745 Wait a minute. Now, hold on. 296 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,814 I don't get this. Now, We were together. 297 00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:54,950 Well, the pictures look like they Were taken when she was changing. 298 00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:57,986 - why, that dirty... - isn't that against the law? 299 00:17:58,010 --> 00:18:00,121 Apparently not. Releases were signed. 300 00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:02,123 The attorney said we can Fight it, but the pictures 301 00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:04,593 Probably get published Anyway, no matter what happens. 302 00:18:06,685 --> 00:18:09,598 I don't believe this. 303 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:12,634 Jennifer's gonna... 304 00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:15,404 Well, I don't know what she's Gonna do. This is gonna kill her. 305 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:18,273 - mr. Carlson: yeah. - were the negatives 306 00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:20,709 In the envelope with the photos? 307 00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,645 Yes. 308 00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:25,114 And you know where that Envelope is in the office? 309 00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:27,416 Yes. I think it's in his desk. 310 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,252 Well, I'm gonna suggest 311 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:33,288 Something ridiculous here. 312 00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:35,257 As usual, it's one of my 313 00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:41,029 Deeply bent ideas, And I suggest it 314 00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:43,065 Just so that we Can dismiss it quickly 315 00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:45,534 And move on to sounder ground. 316 00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,937 But nevertheless, 317 00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:51,040 Why don't we watergate it? 318 00:18:51,064 --> 00:18:53,209 Mr. Carlson: what? 319 00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,477 You know. 320 00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:57,480 Are you nuts? Breaking And entering is a felony! 321 00:18:57,504 --> 00:19:00,583 - good lord, fever. - why don't we think of Something else? 322 00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:02,685 Wait-wait-wait a minute here. 323 00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:04,241 Uh... 324 00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:08,278 Fever just might Be on to something. 325 00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:14,262 Well, I don't know exactly What else to do about it. 326 00:19:14,286 --> 00:19:16,899 Look, I'm certainly not gonna Let some sleazy photographer 327 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:18,901 Ruin the life and reputation Of a good friend of mine 328 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,503 Just because she did me a favor. 329 00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:24,239 - I'm with you, big guy. - we get caught, 330 00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:25,974 We could go to jail. 331 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,699 Yeah, that's the part of The plan that I don't like. 332 00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:33,982 Now, look. I realize There's a certain amount 333 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:38,509 Of risk and, uh, Possible prosecution. 334 00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:42,424 If any of you aren't Willing to take the risk, 335 00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:44,493 Then I say you just Walk right now. 336 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,495 I'm not gonna say Anything to you. 337 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,599 We're not gonna think Any the worse of you. 338 00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:53,924 Excuse me. 339 00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:02,733 Fever, now what? 340 00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:55,686 One, two, three. 341 00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:00,791 Shh! 342 00:21:04,363 --> 00:21:06,742 Venus: well, we figured 30 Minutes to open the front door. 343 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,378 We did it in a minute and a half, but I Don't think we'll get an "A" for neatness. 344 00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:11,680 Andy: I thought we weren't gonna Talk. What are we talking for? 345 00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,915 Mr. Carlson: we've got to talk! We've got to communicate! 346 00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:16,451 - andy: will you shut up? - I beg your pardon! 347 00:21:16,475 --> 00:21:19,488 I'm sorry, mr. Carlson, But I'm so afraid, I'm... 348 00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:22,157 Johnny: listen, kid, We're all scared. 349 00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:24,460 Any man who says He's not is a liar. 350 00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:27,284 Venus: are you nuts, Joking at a time like this? 351 00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:30,866 Tell him to stop! 352 00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:34,069 Andy: settle down. We're acting Like a bunch of republicans. 353 00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:35,733 Johnny: that's right. 354 00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:40,876 Mr. Carlson: what's wrong With that? I'm a republican. 355 00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:43,545 Andy: you're a republican? I didn't know that. 356 00:21:43,569 --> 00:21:45,647 - venus: me neither. - I thought you guys knew. 357 00:21:45,671 --> 00:21:46,815 Both: no. 358 00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:48,817 Johnny: all right, Knock it off, you guys. 359 00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:51,720 Look, maybe he is a republican. 360 00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:53,955 Maybe he's a black man. 361 00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:56,458 Maybe he's from the southwest. 362 00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,427 But we're all americans, And we came here 363 00:21:58,451 --> 00:22:00,029 To do a job, okay? 364 00:22:00,053 --> 00:22:01,853 Venus: will you stop that?! 365 00:22:05,391 --> 00:22:07,636 Andy: we came here To get the photos. 366 00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,905 We're gonna get the photos, And we're gonna get out of here. 367 00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:12,796 Look, I think the photos Are... Give me the flashlight. 368 00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:15,977 Oh, yeah. This drawer's Full of photos. 369 00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:18,447 I'm gonna go through Each and every envelope. 370 00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:19,714 Venus: do you have Another flashlight? 371 00:22:19,738 --> 00:22:21,050 - no. - perfect. 372 00:22:21,074 --> 00:22:22,951 Johnny: why don't we turn On the overhead light? 373 00:22:22,975 --> 00:22:24,286 Venus: are you crazy?! 374 00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:25,620 Johnny: yeah. I'm Here, aren't I? 375 00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:31,626 Mr. Carlson: what the Dickens was that? 376 00:22:31,650 --> 00:22:33,429 Johnny: I don't know. 377 00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:35,064 Andy: I need the light. 378 00:22:35,088 --> 00:22:38,067 Venus: all I got is Negatives over here. 379 00:22:38,091 --> 00:22:40,202 Andy: there's a Shot of toothpaste. 380 00:22:40,226 --> 00:22:41,603 There's another Shot of toothpaste. 381 00:22:41,627 --> 00:22:42,637 Johnny: light, please. 382 00:22:42,661 --> 00:22:43,638 - yeah, sure. 383 00:22:43,662 --> 00:22:44,839 Venus: I can't make this out. 384 00:22:44,863 --> 00:22:46,808 Let me see that Light for a second. 385 00:22:46,832 --> 00:22:48,810 Mr. Carlson: I think I'm gonna Need that light again, johnny. 386 00:22:48,834 --> 00:22:50,179 - yeah, come on, a.C. 387 00:22:50,203 --> 00:22:51,180 Venus: wait a minute. 388 00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:52,881 There's a woman Smiling at a cigarette. 389 00:22:52,905 --> 00:22:56,385 Johnny: all I got here is Portraits of labrador retrievers. 390 00:22:56,409 --> 00:23:00,355 Mr. Carlson: well, here's A picture of a nude lady. 391 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:01,690 Oh, but it's not jennifer. 392 00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:04,326 Johnny: uh, can I see that? 393 00:23:04,350 --> 00:23:05,870 Venus: me too. 394 00:23:06,785 --> 00:23:08,964 - I just want to see it... - I told you no! 395 00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:14,069 Johnny: I can't have men Like this under my command! 396 00:23:14,093 --> 00:23:15,804 Come on! Shape up, boys. 397 00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:16,838 Mr. Carlson: knock it off! 398 00:23:16,862 --> 00:23:19,896 Shh, listen. 399 00:23:30,309 --> 00:23:32,321 Man: wkrp in cincinnati 400 00:23:32,345 --> 00:23:34,278 will be back after this. 401 00:23:40,786 --> 00:23:42,598 That was close. I mean, That was real close. 402 00:23:42,622 --> 00:23:45,167 - man, it was an ambulance. - I don't care what it was. 403 00:23:45,191 --> 00:23:48,103 It came down the street. 404 00:23:48,127 --> 00:23:50,572 It came down the street, And it scared me to death. 405 00:23:50,596 --> 00:23:53,609 The most frightening moment Of my life, I'll tell you that. 406 00:23:53,633 --> 00:23:56,713 It's a good thing I keep an Extra pair of jeans in my office. 407 00:23:59,005 --> 00:24:02,217 I'm gonna go see What moss is up to. 408 00:24:02,241 --> 00:24:04,353 I'm sorry, mr. Carlson. 409 00:24:04,377 --> 00:24:06,654 We just do not make Very good burglars. 410 00:24:06,678 --> 00:24:10,458 I can't believe we did this. 411 00:24:10,482 --> 00:24:13,361 We committed a crime! 412 00:24:13,385 --> 00:24:16,753 I think what we should Do is... Turn ourselves in. 413 00:24:18,257 --> 00:24:20,836 Oh, no, a.C. I know We were bad boys, 414 00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:22,838 And we're going to Hell for what we did, 415 00:24:22,862 --> 00:24:24,772 But we can't go to no prison. 416 00:24:24,796 --> 00:24:27,996 I can deal with going to hell, But I can't deal with going to jail. 417 00:24:29,235 --> 00:24:32,513 I committed a crime. 418 00:24:32,537 --> 00:24:34,382 What's even worse, 419 00:24:34,406 --> 00:24:36,551 I had you young fellows help me. 420 00:24:36,575 --> 00:24:39,788 How did I do that? I mean, what Makes something like this happen? 421 00:24:39,812 --> 00:24:42,290 I mean, I'm a kiwanian. 422 00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:45,460 I drive a dodge, for gosh sakes. 423 00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:47,463 Beige. 424 00:24:47,487 --> 00:24:49,064 - mr. Carlson... - black sidewalls. 425 00:24:49,088 --> 00:24:51,266 Mr. Carlson, take It easy, all right? 426 00:24:51,290 --> 00:24:54,837 I can't help it. I'm just not the sort of Fellow who goes around committing crimes. 427 00:24:54,861 --> 00:24:58,606 I mean, you know those Mattresses with those tags, 428 00:24:58,630 --> 00:25:00,709 "Unlawful to remove"? 429 00:25:00,733 --> 00:25:04,880 It makes me nervous just to Have those suckers in the house. 430 00:25:04,904 --> 00:25:06,781 I'm really hungry. You guys hungry? 431 00:25:06,805 --> 00:25:10,618 - why don't we get Something to eat? - you go on without me. 432 00:25:10,642 --> 00:25:13,154 Mr. Carlson's feeling a Little guilty, that's all. 433 00:25:13,178 --> 00:25:15,556 And you know what? Mr. Carlson wants us to... 434 00:25:15,580 --> 00:25:17,514 Turn ourselves in. 435 00:25:20,086 --> 00:25:22,064 Come on, now. What's Wrong with that? 436 00:25:22,088 --> 00:25:24,266 We get a little reprimand And a clear conscience. 437 00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:27,436 - sure. If you don't Have a record. - oh. 438 00:25:27,460 --> 00:25:29,638 A record? 439 00:25:29,662 --> 00:25:31,440 Have you got a record? 440 00:25:31,464 --> 00:25:32,696 No. 441 00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:36,299 Not in this country. 442 00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:41,183 It was nothing! 443 00:25:41,207 --> 00:25:43,885 It was a minor Misunderstanding one night 444 00:25:43,909 --> 00:25:46,755 With 145 mexican cops. 445 00:25:46,779 --> 00:25:48,890 He's just kidding. 446 00:25:48,914 --> 00:25:51,260 - let's go eat. - I thought they were soldiers. 447 00:25:51,284 --> 00:25:53,828 - I'll catch up with you. - I said, "Show me some badges," 448 00:25:53,852 --> 00:25:55,530 And the guy said, "Badges? 449 00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:57,655 We don't need no Stinking badges." 450 00:26:02,995 --> 00:26:05,707 Mr. Carlson, I guess, uh, 451 00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:07,942 Someone should tell Jennifer about this. 452 00:26:07,966 --> 00:26:09,132 Yeah. 453 00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:12,235 Don't worry about It. I'll handle it. 454 00:26:13,439 --> 00:26:14,949 No. 455 00:26:14,973 --> 00:26:18,086 No, I'll do it. It's My responsibility. 456 00:26:18,110 --> 00:26:19,142 Okay. 457 00:26:35,961 --> 00:26:37,472 - mr. Carlson... - run! 458 00:26:37,496 --> 00:26:39,274 - what? - huh? 459 00:26:39,298 --> 00:26:41,009 Oh. 460 00:26:41,033 --> 00:26:44,612 Uh, I'm sorry, Jennifer. I'm sorry. 461 00:26:44,636 --> 00:26:46,882 Would you like a cup of coffee? 462 00:26:46,906 --> 00:26:49,184 Oh, boy, would I. Yeah. 463 00:26:49,208 --> 00:26:50,986 Okay. 464 00:26:59,385 --> 00:27:00,850 Here you go. 465 00:27:03,255 --> 00:27:05,667 Uh, thanks, jennifer. 466 00:27:05,691 --> 00:27:07,457 Thank you very much. 467 00:27:09,194 --> 00:27:12,073 Mm! Oh, boy, that's good. 468 00:27:12,097 --> 00:27:15,710 Oh, that's really good. 469 00:27:15,734 --> 00:27:18,212 Have you been here all night? 470 00:27:18,236 --> 00:27:20,282 No. Matter of fact, I didn't get here 471 00:27:20,306 --> 00:27:22,205 Until about 4:00. 472 00:27:23,942 --> 00:27:26,388 Were you working? 473 00:27:26,412 --> 00:27:28,256 No. No, no. I was out 474 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,025 Trying to get some Pictures... Snapshots. 475 00:27:31,049 --> 00:27:32,549 At 4:00? 476 00:27:33,919 --> 00:27:39,456 Uh, jennifer, sit down, please. 477 00:27:43,328 --> 00:27:48,999 Jennifer, that, uh, Photographer, gonser... 478 00:27:50,569 --> 00:27:53,781 Oh, jennifer, he's Done a terrible thing. 479 00:27:53,805 --> 00:27:58,587 And then I... Did a... A terrible thing. 480 00:27:58,611 --> 00:28:00,543 What is it, mr. Carlson? 481 00:28:02,348 --> 00:28:06,495 Jennifer, that Photographer got some 482 00:28:06,519 --> 00:28:08,952 Pictures of you... 483 00:28:11,023 --> 00:28:12,755 Without any clothes on. 484 00:28:14,192 --> 00:28:17,160 I think he took them When you were changing. 485 00:28:19,331 --> 00:28:20,864 How do you know? 486 00:28:26,638 --> 00:28:29,572 I-I s... I saw them. I'm sorry. 487 00:28:31,377 --> 00:28:32,809 How were they? 488 00:28:40,953 --> 00:28:42,953 Oh, just real good. Uh... 489 00:28:49,829 --> 00:28:51,573 What I mean is, 490 00:28:51,597 --> 00:28:54,242 You could certainly See that they were taken 491 00:28:54,266 --> 00:28:56,244 By a professional photographer. 492 00:28:56,268 --> 00:28:59,636 Oh. Oh, my. 493 00:29:00,873 --> 00:29:02,672 Yeah. 494 00:29:05,444 --> 00:29:07,689 Oh, jennifer, it's all my fault. 495 00:29:07,713 --> 00:29:10,792 I mean, this whole Thing was my idea. 496 00:29:10,816 --> 00:29:13,528 I can't even ask You to forgive me, 497 00:29:13,552 --> 00:29:15,596 But I want you to know That I've been worried 498 00:29:15,620 --> 00:29:17,620 And upset about This whole thing. 499 00:29:18,991 --> 00:29:22,003 So much, so, jennifer, that I... 500 00:29:22,027 --> 00:29:25,373 I did the most foolish Thing I've ever done in my life. 501 00:29:25,397 --> 00:29:27,042 What? 502 00:29:27,066 --> 00:29:29,833 Took advice from johnny fever. 503 00:29:33,472 --> 00:29:36,272 Andy, venus, johnny, And yours truly, 504 00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:40,788 We broke into that Photographer's studio tonight 505 00:29:40,812 --> 00:29:43,513 To try and get Those pictures back. 506 00:29:45,151 --> 00:29:47,116 I guess we're not Very good burglars. 507 00:29:49,988 --> 00:29:53,869 You, uh... You all Did that for me? 508 00:29:53,893 --> 00:29:55,870 Yes. 509 00:29:55,894 --> 00:29:58,672 Mr. Carlson, that Was very foolish. 510 00:29:58,696 --> 00:30:00,942 Oh, I know. 511 00:30:00,966 --> 00:30:03,711 Thank you. 512 00:30:03,735 --> 00:30:05,780 Well, I can just Picture the four of you 513 00:30:05,804 --> 00:30:07,382 Sneaking around There in the dark. 514 00:30:07,406 --> 00:30:08,850 Yeah. 515 00:30:08,874 --> 00:30:11,787 You know, you should've Come to me first. 516 00:30:11,811 --> 00:30:14,389 - well... - you know, 517 00:30:14,413 --> 00:30:16,457 Now, who would Have the best chance 518 00:30:16,481 --> 00:30:19,193 Of getting something Out of that studio... 519 00:30:19,217 --> 00:30:21,217 You guys or me? 520 00:30:31,963 --> 00:30:34,342 It's easy. All you've got to use 521 00:30:34,366 --> 00:30:36,711 Is a credit card. 522 00:30:36,735 --> 00:30:39,480 With this credit card, I can open any door 523 00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:42,050 Just like this that I want to. 524 00:30:42,074 --> 00:30:43,885 - really? - oh, yeah. 525 00:30:43,909 --> 00:30:46,755 You guys should have sent 526 00:30:46,779 --> 00:30:48,956 Jennifer over there In the first place. 527 00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:52,548 I mean, a guy like gonser wouldn't Stand a chance with a woman like that. 528 00:30:55,554 --> 00:30:57,465 What... What happened? 529 00:30:57,489 --> 00:31:00,390 The photographer is gay. 530 00:31:03,596 --> 00:31:05,574 What? What did you say? 531 00:31:05,598 --> 00:31:07,576 I said, the Photographer... Gonser... 532 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:09,878 Whatever his name is... Is gay. 533 00:31:09,902 --> 00:31:12,780 He's gay? 534 00:31:12,804 --> 00:31:14,916 He's gay. You mean to tell me 535 00:31:14,940 --> 00:31:17,418 That when you and I were Standing there in bathing suits, 536 00:31:17,442 --> 00:31:20,588 And he said, uh... He said, "Va-va-voom," 537 00:31:20,612 --> 00:31:23,247 He was talking about me? 538 00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:32,767 "Flash your bods," he said. 539 00:31:32,791 --> 00:31:36,637 I can't believe it. I-I-I Really can't believe it. 540 00:31:36,661 --> 00:31:38,639 "Go ahead and frolic." 541 00:31:38,663 --> 00:31:41,176 That's what he said. 542 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,866 And god help me, I frolicked. 543 00:31:46,538 --> 00:31:49,005 I feel so used! 544 00:31:54,646 --> 00:31:57,925 Oh, bailey, no, please don't. 545 00:31:57,949 --> 00:32:00,628 Come on, gorgeous. 546 00:32:00,652 --> 00:32:03,164 You're not the first Kewpie doll to get his 547 00:32:03,188 --> 00:32:05,388 Corsage sat on. 548 00:32:06,958 --> 00:32:09,204 - what the devil does that mean? - I don't know, 549 00:32:09,228 --> 00:32:11,673 But I think you ought to Stop this stupid macho stuff 550 00:32:11,697 --> 00:32:13,608 And start worrying About jennifer. 551 00:32:13,632 --> 00:32:15,910 Well, I'm no expert, jennifer, 552 00:32:15,934 --> 00:32:19,380 But, um, wouldn't a man 553 00:32:19,404 --> 00:32:22,083 Change his religion, So to speak, if, uh, 554 00:32:22,107 --> 00:32:24,874 You were, so to Speak, the church? 555 00:32:27,179 --> 00:32:29,479 No, I don't think so, les. 556 00:32:30,882 --> 00:32:32,281 Well, 557 00:32:33,852 --> 00:32:35,919 Maybe he'd like herb. 558 00:32:46,731 --> 00:32:48,043 What? 559 00:32:48,067 --> 00:32:50,912 It's very simple, herb. 560 00:32:50,936 --> 00:32:54,615 Somehow, we've got to cajole those Negatives away from that photographer. 561 00:32:54,639 --> 00:32:57,052 Obviously andy is too Shattered by all of this 562 00:32:57,076 --> 00:32:59,554 To be of any help, 563 00:32:59,578 --> 00:33:03,091 And you're always telling me what a Square I am and how appealing you are, 564 00:33:03,115 --> 00:33:05,460 So obviously, You're the man to go. 565 00:33:05,484 --> 00:33:08,530 Besides, you're the one who found This photographer in the first place. 566 00:33:08,554 --> 00:33:11,833 Les, you're finally having 567 00:33:11,857 --> 00:33:13,835 That big mental breakdown 568 00:33:13,859 --> 00:33:16,805 We've all been waiting for. 569 00:33:16,829 --> 00:33:19,441 That's all right. I... 570 00:33:19,465 --> 00:33:22,332 I knew you wouldn't Help me anyway, herb. 571 00:33:49,894 --> 00:33:51,828 I don't believe this. 572 00:35:13,478 --> 00:35:14,877 Hi. 573 00:36:16,642 --> 00:36:18,207 How's it going? 574 00:36:44,136 --> 00:36:45,568 Herb? 575 00:36:47,406 --> 00:36:51,274 Well, he's not gay, That's for sure. 576 00:36:53,245 --> 00:36:55,656 And I'll tell you Something else... 577 00:36:55,680 --> 00:37:00,028 I'm never, ever Doing that again. 578 00:37:00,052 --> 00:37:02,852 I get enough Rejection from women. 579 00:37:08,894 --> 00:37:11,505 But he is gay. 580 00:37:11,529 --> 00:37:14,530 Why would a man lie to me About something like that? 581 00:37:16,034 --> 00:37:18,646 'cause, jennifer. 582 00:37:18,670 --> 00:37:20,714 He's a crook. 583 00:37:20,738 --> 00:37:22,816 A crook and a liar. 584 00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:26,075 And he'll say Anything to anybody. 585 00:37:28,947 --> 00:37:32,481 What will I tell people when Those pictures are published? 586 00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:37,286 What'll I say to my mother? 587 00:37:39,124 --> 00:37:41,970 Well, I'd like to just go right Over there and punch the guy out. 588 00:37:41,994 --> 00:37:43,804 Now, hold on, pardner. 589 00:37:43,828 --> 00:37:46,589 Violence never solved anything. 590 00:37:47,866 --> 00:37:49,977 That's it. I'm Going to kill you. 591 00:37:50,001 --> 00:37:51,945 You think about it. 592 00:37:51,969 --> 00:37:54,181 You just think About it, man. It didn't. 593 00:37:54,205 --> 00:37:56,317 See, what we need here is, uh, 594 00:37:56,341 --> 00:37:59,020 An edge, you know? An angle, a plan, 595 00:37:59,044 --> 00:38:02,123 Some kind of... Sting. 596 00:38:02,147 --> 00:38:05,159 Well, you've seen every movie Ever made. Think of something. 597 00:38:05,183 --> 00:38:07,795 Well, 598 00:38:07,819 --> 00:38:11,499 The one thing that's Common to all scams 599 00:38:11,523 --> 00:38:14,101 Is not how smart you are 600 00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:16,103 Or how great your plan is, 601 00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:19,040 It's how greedy your victim is. 602 00:38:19,064 --> 00:38:20,864 Well, we're in business here. 603 00:38:22,700 --> 00:38:27,481 A.C., I need about $300, $400, okay? 604 00:38:27,505 --> 00:38:30,084 - oh... - is it important? 605 00:38:30,108 --> 00:38:32,486 - yeah. - okay. 606 00:38:32,510 --> 00:38:37,680 Bailey, can you play Like an aggressive, 607 00:38:39,217 --> 00:38:42,196 Really straightforward Woman who's been around? 608 00:38:42,220 --> 00:38:45,666 - oh, nope. I can't. - the hell she can't. 609 00:38:45,690 --> 00:38:48,836 Good. Good. 610 00:38:48,860 --> 00:38:50,994 Now I'll need, uh... 611 00:38:52,396 --> 00:38:55,131 I'll need time to think. 612 00:38:56,234 --> 00:38:58,512 A shot of bourbon. 613 00:38:58,536 --> 00:39:00,782 Couple hours of shuteye. 614 00:39:00,806 --> 00:39:02,672 Oh, god. 615 00:39:10,282 --> 00:39:13,461 - d. Arnold gonser? - yeah. 616 00:39:13,485 --> 00:39:16,597 How do you do? My name Is philippe caravella, 617 00:39:16,621 --> 00:39:19,367 And this is ginger gregg. We'd like to speak to you. 618 00:39:19,391 --> 00:39:21,936 - what about? - business, mr. Gonser. 619 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:25,006 I think you'll like What we have to say. 620 00:39:25,030 --> 00:39:27,608 Okay. Have a seat. 621 00:39:27,632 --> 00:39:30,299 - ginger. - thank you, philip. 622 00:39:32,937 --> 00:39:35,215 Mr. Gonser, I shall Come right to the point. 623 00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:37,518 You are in possession of Photographs of a woman 624 00:39:37,542 --> 00:39:40,688 Living in cincinnati, a Miss jennifer marlowe. 625 00:39:40,712 --> 00:39:42,757 We want those photos. 626 00:39:42,781 --> 00:39:46,260 How did you know about That? Who are you two? 627 00:39:46,284 --> 00:39:49,397 Who we are is of no Consequence to you, mr. Gonser. 628 00:39:49,421 --> 00:39:51,732 We simply want your photographs. 629 00:39:51,756 --> 00:39:53,267 Oh, no. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. 630 00:39:53,291 --> 00:39:56,104 You either tell me who you Are, or you get out of my studio. 631 00:39:56,128 --> 00:39:59,306 Excuse me, but we want Those photographs, mr. Gonser, 632 00:39:59,330 --> 00:40:02,376 And we are prepared To pay a high price. 633 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,378 And then we'll get Out of this village 634 00:40:04,402 --> 00:40:06,714 And back to new york As soon as we can. 635 00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:08,783 I'll call you a cab. 636 00:40:08,807 --> 00:40:12,853 Mr. Gonser, we are in The publishing business. 637 00:40:12,877 --> 00:40:16,490 Both philip and I have either Worked for or counseled with 638 00:40:16,514 --> 00:40:19,894 playboy, penthouse, And hustler magazine. 639 00:40:19,918 --> 00:40:24,098 Philip was an art Director, and I was a model. 640 00:40:24,122 --> 00:40:27,435 - playmate of the year. - yes. 1975. 641 00:40:27,459 --> 00:40:29,236 Yeah. 642 00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:32,173 Yeah, yeah, that's right. I Thought I recognized you. 643 00:40:32,197 --> 00:40:34,475 Mr. Gonser, we represent 644 00:40:34,499 --> 00:40:36,810 A west german publishing firm 645 00:40:36,834 --> 00:40:39,180 Wishing to start a new Magazine in this country. 646 00:40:39,204 --> 00:40:41,804 Just offer him the Money, and let's go. 647 00:40:43,408 --> 00:40:46,909 I will do this in my Own fashion, philip. 648 00:40:48,947 --> 00:40:52,827 Wolfgang specifically said That I was to be in charge. 649 00:40:52,851 --> 00:40:56,964 Wolfgang does not speak For the entire cartel. 650 00:40:56,988 --> 00:41:00,435 I beg your pardon, but I believe that he does. 651 00:41:00,459 --> 00:41:02,003 - he doesn't. - he does. 652 00:41:02,027 --> 00:41:03,871 He doesn't. 653 00:41:03,895 --> 00:41:06,240 - so help me, ginger. - so help you what? 654 00:41:06,264 --> 00:41:08,242 Hey, hey, hey, hey. Now, Wait a minute, wait a minute. 655 00:41:08,266 --> 00:41:11,545 Now, look, you two have Worked together for a long time. 656 00:41:11,569 --> 00:41:15,037 Let's try to remember we're all friends Here. We came here to discuss business. 657 00:41:17,275 --> 00:41:20,176 Are you going to be civil? 658 00:41:21,946 --> 00:41:24,258 Of course, my darling. 659 00:41:24,282 --> 00:41:27,416 Good. Good, good. Have a seat, please. 660 00:41:28,987 --> 00:41:31,199 Now, tell me, how do you Know about the pictures? 661 00:41:31,223 --> 00:41:34,101 You offered them to Two other publications, 662 00:41:34,125 --> 00:41:35,936 Perhaps more. 663 00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,739 - no. That's not true. - don't lie to me, mr. Gonser. 664 00:41:38,763 --> 00:41:40,896 I will not tolerate your lies! 665 00:41:42,767 --> 00:41:44,578 All right, all right. I offered them, 666 00:41:44,602 --> 00:41:46,013 But how do you know that? 667 00:41:46,037 --> 00:41:49,616 We have... Spies, if you will. 668 00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,652 They tell us that This marlowe woman 669 00:41:51,676 --> 00:41:54,622 Is the most beautiful Woman they've seen in years. 670 00:41:54,646 --> 00:41:56,523 How much are you willing to pay? 671 00:41:56,547 --> 00:42:00,249 Well, I must see The photos first. 672 00:42:01,853 --> 00:42:02,853 Sure. 673 00:42:09,728 --> 00:42:12,106 I had to ask him to see them. 674 00:42:12,130 --> 00:42:14,274 You don't buy things Like this sight unseen... 675 00:42:14,298 --> 00:42:16,498 Thousands of them. 676 00:42:18,169 --> 00:42:20,369 - here you go. - thank you. 677 00:42:25,877 --> 00:42:27,988 That will do. 678 00:42:28,012 --> 00:42:30,725 They're-they're Excellent. They're fine. 679 00:42:30,749 --> 00:42:33,894 They're very good, actually. There May be some trouble with the lighting... 680 00:42:33,918 --> 00:42:35,929 What is your price, mr. Gonser? 681 00:42:35,953 --> 00:42:37,999 Well, now, I don't know. 682 00:42:38,023 --> 00:42:40,001 I'll have to think About that. I mean, 683 00:42:40,025 --> 00:42:43,204 These are the first Pictures in a new magazine? 684 00:42:43,228 --> 00:42:45,806 These pictures can make or break You. What's the name of your magazine? 685 00:42:45,830 --> 00:42:48,843 - none of your business. - make it my business. 686 00:42:48,867 --> 00:42:51,478 It's called na-vahl. 687 00:42:51,502 --> 00:42:55,683 That's n-a-v-e-l. 688 00:42:55,707 --> 00:42:58,319 Very stylish. 689 00:42:58,343 --> 00:43:01,188 I don't think you know the meaning Of the word "Stylish," mr. Gonser. 690 00:43:01,212 --> 00:43:04,013 - how much? - I don't know stylish? 691 00:43:05,517 --> 00:43:07,194 Look, pal, just remember 692 00:43:07,218 --> 00:43:09,696 You two used to be right Down here where I am... 693 00:43:09,720 --> 00:43:11,932 Just a nude model and Her illustrator boyfriend. 694 00:43:11,956 --> 00:43:14,502 But now, of course, you're a Bunch of new york big-shots. 695 00:43:14,526 --> 00:43:17,705 - how much? - $30,000. 696 00:43:17,729 --> 00:43:19,574 How much? 697 00:43:19,598 --> 00:43:22,476 - that's ridiculous, mr. Gonser. - take it or leave it. 698 00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:25,546 - philip, write the check. - no check. This is A cash business. 699 00:43:25,570 --> 00:43:27,882 Our check is good. 700 00:43:27,906 --> 00:43:29,517 No check. I'll take A money order. 701 00:43:29,541 --> 00:43:31,752 I repeat, sir: our Check is good. 702 00:43:31,776 --> 00:43:34,521 - money order. - fine. 703 00:43:34,545 --> 00:43:37,591 Let's go across the Street to the bank. 704 00:43:37,615 --> 00:43:40,761 - now you're talking. - no. That won't do. 705 00:43:40,785 --> 00:43:43,163 I am tired of arguing. 706 00:43:43,187 --> 00:43:46,700 Philip, we have got to Get back to new york 707 00:43:46,724 --> 00:43:49,670 To talk to the investors And hire staff photographers. 708 00:43:49,694 --> 00:43:52,139 Now, come on. Let's Go back to the bank. 709 00:43:52,163 --> 00:43:54,275 Whoa. Wait a minute, Wait a minute. Did, uh... 710 00:43:54,299 --> 00:43:57,232 - did you just say "Hire staff photographers"? - yes. 711 00:43:59,637 --> 00:44:02,683 Well, uh, how about me? 712 00:44:02,707 --> 00:44:05,085 Why not? I'm good. 713 00:44:05,109 --> 00:44:07,621 - oh, I'm sorry, mr. Gonser. - okay, forget it. 714 00:44:07,645 --> 00:44:09,623 No pictures. I don't Care what your price is. 715 00:44:09,647 --> 00:44:11,392 Listen to him, philip. 716 00:44:11,416 --> 00:44:13,059 Do shut up, ginger. 717 00:44:13,083 --> 00:44:15,729 I am sick and tired of you! 718 00:44:15,753 --> 00:44:19,400 I am afraid that it Wouldn't work, mr. Gonser. 719 00:44:19,424 --> 00:44:21,702 Philip would hire you Just to get the pictures, 720 00:44:21,726 --> 00:44:24,104 Then he would turn Around and fire you. 721 00:44:24,128 --> 00:44:26,862 That is the type Of person he is. 722 00:44:28,866 --> 00:44:31,645 Unless... 723 00:44:31,669 --> 00:44:36,183 Unless you were... One of the investors. 724 00:44:36,207 --> 00:44:38,452 Impossible. 725 00:44:38,476 --> 00:44:42,423 It is a very smart Investment, mr. Gonser. 726 00:44:42,447 --> 00:44:44,791 Dupont, xerox and burger king 727 00:44:44,815 --> 00:44:47,328 Have already invested secretly. 728 00:44:47,352 --> 00:44:49,896 Ginger, you talk Entirely too much. 729 00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,080 - you always talk too much! - shut up, philip. 730 00:44:57,128 --> 00:45:00,074 I could take stock Instead of cash, couldn't I? 731 00:45:00,098 --> 00:45:02,142 You could. 732 00:45:02,166 --> 00:45:05,679 Oh! $30,000! 733 00:45:05,703 --> 00:45:07,681 That's how much Stock philip owns. 734 00:45:07,705 --> 00:45:10,183 I daresay he Couldn't fire you then. 735 00:45:10,207 --> 00:45:11,986 Ginger, when we get Back to new york... 736 00:45:12,010 --> 00:45:14,688 - you've got yourself A deal, miss gregg. - good. 737 00:45:14,712 --> 00:45:17,691 I'll have our lawyers telex a Letter of agreement down here. 738 00:45:17,715 --> 00:45:20,961 The photos and negatives will Serve as your investment. Agreed? 739 00:45:20,985 --> 00:45:23,163 - well, uh... - no. 740 00:45:23,187 --> 00:45:24,865 Why not? 741 00:45:24,889 --> 00:45:28,135 It will be the Photos, the negatives, 742 00:45:28,159 --> 00:45:32,361 Plus $500 in cash. 743 00:45:34,098 --> 00:45:35,909 Why? 744 00:45:35,933 --> 00:45:37,978 Just to be a pain. 745 00:45:38,002 --> 00:45:40,514 - philip, please... - no, no. No. That's all right. 746 00:45:40,538 --> 00:45:44,351 That's no problem. I'll just Write out a check. Big deal. 747 00:45:44,375 --> 00:45:47,287 No, no, no, no. No checks. 748 00:45:47,311 --> 00:45:49,589 This is a cash business. 749 00:45:49,613 --> 00:45:52,660 - please, philippe... - okay, okay. 750 00:45:52,684 --> 00:45:54,965 I'll go across the street And get you a money order. 751 00:45:57,187 --> 00:45:58,854 Very well. 752 00:46:21,946 --> 00:46:23,924 Jennifer, we thought 753 00:46:23,948 --> 00:46:26,393 You'd take pleasure In destroying these. 754 00:46:26,417 --> 00:46:28,461 Oh, thank you, bailey. 755 00:46:28,485 --> 00:46:31,031 Thank you, everybody, so much. 756 00:46:31,055 --> 00:46:33,033 Hey, we got the photos And the negatives 757 00:46:33,057 --> 00:46:35,669 And 500 bucks to boot. 758 00:46:35,693 --> 00:46:38,138 Uh, no, we didn't. 759 00:46:38,162 --> 00:46:40,140 Here, mr. Carlson. 760 00:46:40,164 --> 00:46:43,410 This is for the kiwanis Children's fund. 761 00:46:43,434 --> 00:46:45,412 Andy: hey-hey! 762 00:46:45,436 --> 00:46:49,149 Huh? Hey-hey. Thank you, bailey. 763 00:46:49,173 --> 00:46:50,973 Ginger. 764 00:46:53,811 --> 00:46:54,844 Ginger. 765 00:46:55,947 --> 00:46:59,960 Ginger, I despise you. 766 00:46:59,984 --> 00:47:03,085 I always have, And I always will. 767 00:47:04,555 --> 00:47:06,254 That does it. 768 00:47:08,626 --> 00:47:10,737 I just love it when Things get back to normal. 769 00:47:10,761 --> 00:47:12,839 I just love it! 770 00:47:12,863 --> 00:47:16,076 You know, I am going To incinerate these. 771 00:47:16,100 --> 00:47:17,967 Uh, jennifer, 772 00:47:20,004 --> 00:47:22,116 I don't suppose That we could just 773 00:47:22,140 --> 00:47:28,488 Have a... Just a little... Peek? 774 00:47:28,512 --> 00:47:30,646 No, indeed not. 775 00:47:37,454 --> 00:47:40,067 Hey, baby. 776 00:47:40,091 --> 00:47:42,736 You know, purple's My favorite color. 777 00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:44,337 How about a dance, huh? 778 00:47:44,361 --> 00:47:45,839 Better yet, how about A champagne cock... 779 00:47:45,863 --> 00:47:48,863 Wait a minute, bailey. You Know I wear bikini underwear. 780 00:48:11,355 --> 00:48:12,788 Perfect. 57028

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