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1
00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:04,681
- okay, is everybody here?
- yeah, I think so.
2
00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:06,745
Could you hurry
This up? I'm on the air.
3
00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:12,955
- I only count seven.
- me too.
4
00:00:12,979 --> 00:00:15,959
- who's missing?
- you didn't count yourself.
5
00:00:15,983 --> 00:00:18,128
Sure, he did. Think you're
Dealing with a fool?
6
00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:20,119
- shut up, herb.
- right, big guy.
7
00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:25,135
All right, the reason I called
You all in here this morning
8
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,137
Is, uh...
9
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,806
Ah, darn it, let's
Just be frank.
10
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:31,975
I want to ask each
And every one of you
11
00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:34,611
For a personal favor.
12
00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:37,536
As you know, I belong
To the local kiwanis club.
13
00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:49,559
Now, granted,
14
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,217
That is an all-men's
Organization, but...
15
00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:01,237
And while we didn't
Have, and still don't,
16
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:04,663
A large minority
Membership, we...
17
00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:13,717
Look, I would just like to
Say right here at the outset
18
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:16,686
That if any of you people
Are in here just because
19
00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,455
I'm the boss, then I
Think you should leave.
20
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,078
I just personally...
21
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:28,987
You see...
22
00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:38,041
This year, I have been
Made the chairman
23
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:41,711
Of the charity fashion
Show and bazaar.
24
00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:43,168
Travis!
25
00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:47,050
And the theme this year
26
00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:50,053
Is "Surf city, u.S.A."
27
00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:52,044
In cincinnati, ohio?
28
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:55,592
Yes.
29
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,661
And I was gonna ask everybody
30
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:01,531
If he or she would
Participate in the fashion show
31
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:04,066
As a model.
32
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:06,402
Everybody but herb, of course.
33
00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:08,872
Jennifer, could we count
On you again this year?
34
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,473
Of course.
35
00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:12,264
Oh.
36
00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:18,281
A model?
37
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:19,816
It's for a good cause.
38
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,887
Oh, I don't know, man.
39
00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:27,745
- what's that?
- I said, I've never been
A model before.
40
00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:31,361
- well, you'd like it.
- oh!
41
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:33,429
I don't know about that.
42
00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:36,099
Oh, do it for mr. Carlson.
43
00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:37,963
I'd sure appreciate it, andrew.
44
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:42,193
- well...
- come on!
45
00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:46,698
Well, okay. Geez.
46
00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:51,681
Jennifer, I was hoping,
And very deeply, in fact,
47
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,849
That you would appear
On our advertising poster.
48
00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:56,453
Of course, that
Would necessitate your
49
00:02:56,477 --> 00:03:00,111
Posing, uh, in a bathing suit.
50
00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:05,684
- well, mr. Carlson...
- well, why not? You'd like it.
51
00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:11,701
- I have to think about it.
- what's to think?
52
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:14,838
Come on, do it for mr. Carlson.
53
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:16,873
It would just be you, jennifer,
54
00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:20,098
And andy, standing there
In your bathing suits.
55
00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:26,483
I'll do it.
56
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:30,587
♪ baby, if you've
Ever wondered ♪
57
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:34,657
♪ wondered whatever
Became of me ♪
58
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:39,195
♪ I'm livin' on the
Air in cincinnati ♪
59
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:43,767
♪ cincinnati, wkrp ♪
60
00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:47,871
♪ got kind of tired of
Packin' and unpackin' ♪
61
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:52,174
♪ town to town, up
And down the dial ♪
62
00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:56,746
♪ maybe you and me
Were never meant to be ♪
63
00:03:56,770 --> 00:04:00,116
♪ just maybe think
Of me once in a while ♪
64
00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:06,044
♪ I'm at wkrp in cincinnati ♪
65
00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:11,227
And it's 57 degrees at 9:35.
66
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,630
Here's one recorded live
At madison square garden,
67
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,632
In new york city, the
Big "No nukes" rally.
68
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:17,834
"Runaway," with bonnie raitt.
69
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:20,303
I'd like to.
70
00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:23,640
♪ as I walk along... ♪
71
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,942
- fever, relinquish the board.
- what?
72
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:28,311
There's been a startling
Development in the news.
73
00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:30,335
What, a shift in
The wind direction?
74
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:34,017
Johnny, I am a
Trained professional.
75
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:35,551
This is important, trust me.
76
00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:37,353
Okay, les.
77
00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:39,889
This is les nessman
With a special news b...
78
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:42,391
Why is the music still on?
79
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:49,354
Boy, what a lousy board.
80
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:56,139
Today, the queen city stretched
Wide its welcoming arms
81
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:59,242
To the ohio hog
Farmers' association
82
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:02,512
On the occasion of their
Annual pork festival.
83
00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,648
This reporter has learned
From a reliable source
84
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:06,482
Close to the hog persons
85
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:09,886
That yours truly, les nessman,
Has been named featured speaker
86
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:13,045
At the closing night's swine
Soirée and dinner dance.
87
00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:16,693
Congratulations, les.
88
00:05:22,056 --> 00:05:23,989
Road to a stronger america.
89
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,896
Tickets are on sale at
Selected agencies everywhere.
90
00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,443
You sure this guy's good, herb?
91
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:38,169
He is the best photographer
In cincinnati... For the money.
92
00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:43,152
Whoo! Here he comes!
93
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,024
Andy, what is happening here?
94
00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:52,028
I'm dying, les.
95
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:53,830
Don't let him get
You down, travis.
96
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,432
You're really helping
The new children's home.
97
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:58,490
Well, that's very nice, andy.
What are you doing for them?
98
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,472
I'm posing in a...
In a bathing suit.
99
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,930
Oh. Ooh-la-la-la!
100
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:08,812
Well, I think it's a good idea.
101
00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:11,996
I mean, how come the women are
Always doing the cheesecake, huh?
102
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:16,619
It's about time we
Got to see a little...
103
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:18,677
Beefcake.
104
00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:26,129
Mr. Carlson, I can't do this.
105
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,896
Travis, ignore this.
106
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:31,000
Come on, they're just
Teasing you a little bit.
107
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,768
All this is gonna be is a...
108
00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:35,104
Is a picture of a young couple
Standing on a beach, waving.
109
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,805
Nothing more than that.
110
00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:39,575
Come on, let's go get jennifer.
That photo session's at 2:00.
111
00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:42,345
- come on. Trust me.
- herb: come on,
Come on, come on!
112
00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:44,180
Ay-yi-yi!
113
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:45,936
Let's go! Let's go!
114
00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:52,054
♪ eat your heart
Out, hugh hefner ♪
115
00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:56,492
Hey, you guys ready yet?
116
00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:58,583
Jennifer: just about there.
117
00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:10,907
Andy?
118
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,208
Are you ready?
119
00:07:13,232 --> 00:07:14,666
Andy: no.
120
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,815
What's the matter?
121
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,917
Nothing. Go away.
122
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,285
Oh, come on.
There's nothing to it.
123
00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:26,229
If you're talking about my
Bathing suit, you're right.
124
00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:30,782
I know. Mine's the same way.
125
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,588
This is stupid.
126
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:01,757
Ooh, hey, hey, hey!
127
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:04,193
You two look terrific! Whoo!
128
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,195
Tarlek told me I was
Going to enjoy this,
129
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:09,499
- but va-va-va-voom!
- oh, dear.
130
00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,804
Hey, pal, give me a hand
With the backdrop, will ya?
131
00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:20,876
There you go.
132
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,878
A little more.
133
00:08:22,902 --> 00:08:25,014
Right there. Right there. And...
134
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:27,038
- is this okay?
- perfect.
135
00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:30,686
Andy?
136
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,343
Andy?
137
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:40,563
I'm coming, annette.
138
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:43,232
Now, get in there.
That's it. Move in there.
139
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:46,469
Look at that backdrop. They
Said it was no good... It's perfect.
140
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:49,438
Okay, now, the two of
You, give me some skin here.
141
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,607
Flash the bods around,
And I'll just click away.
142
00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:54,109
Make it look real sexy.
143
00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:56,212
What?
144
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:58,147
Make it look real sexy.
145
00:08:58,171 --> 00:08:59,848
"Sexy"?
146
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:02,240
Okay, okay. Uh, wave.
147
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,855
Herb called this guy, right?
148
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:08,813
Was there ever any doubt?
149
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:11,894
Yeah. Yeah, that's great.
150
00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:13,462
Fabulous.
151
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:15,353
Okay, now,
152
00:09:16,789 --> 00:09:20,069
I want you to move around
The beach and frolic.
153
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,059
Give me a lot of frolic.
154
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:28,077
I'm not gonna frolic.
155
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:30,313
Hey, pal, give me
A break, will ya?
156
00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:32,982
These are beach
Shots. You got to frolic.
157
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:36,385
Jennifer, talk to him, will
Ya? You've modeled before.
158
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,255
Andy, I think we
Really do owe them
159
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,246
A certain amount of frolic.
160
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:55,338
I don't know how to do it.
161
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,673
Could we just throw
This ball back and forth?
162
00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:59,631
- anything.
- okay.
163
00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:03,646
Take it away.
164
00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:05,603
- come on.
- okay.
165
00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:10,453
The guy's a regular
Troy donahue.
166
00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:12,855
I'm sorry.
167
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:14,857
Tra-la-la, fun, fun, fun,
168
00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:18,093
And... Thank you very much.
169
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,062
- that's it?
- that's it?
170
00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:23,732
That's it. Except for a couple of
Release forms I want you to sign.
171
00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:26,169
- what for?
- oh, it's just routine stuff.
172
00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:29,593
Gives your permission for publication
Of any pictures taken on these premises.
173
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:36,012
- now, can we get
Our clothes on?
- hey, come on.
174
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:38,581
You loved it, didn't you?
175
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:42,806
I thought it stunk,
And I despised it.
176
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:45,609
Okay.
177
00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:12,614
And so, ladies and gentlemen,
178
00:11:12,638 --> 00:11:14,683
My main point tonight is,
179
00:11:14,707 --> 00:11:17,019
Ta-da, ta-da, ta-da, blah,
Blah, blah, etcetera, etcetera.
180
00:11:19,545 --> 00:11:22,591
Oh, no, no, no. You're too kind.
181
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:24,994
No, no, no. Please, please.
182
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,763
Ah! Ah! Ah!
183
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,465
Ladies and gentlemen, please,
184
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:32,335
I must be allowed to continue.
185
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:35,537
Hog persons, please.
186
00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:38,140
My voice can't be
Heard above this ruckus.
187
00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:52,655
- morning, guys.
- hey, travis. Oh, how did
Your photo session go?
188
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,923
I hated it. I'm never
Doing anything
189
00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:56,926
Like that again ever
Again in my whole life.
190
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:58,995
Tell the big guy. It's his idea.
191
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,451
Well...
192
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:04,500
Hello.
193
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,035
Please.
194
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:10,461
How's it going, big boy?
195
00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:17,747
Sit down.
196
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:20,616
We'll talk.
197
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:24,576
How about a...
Champagne cocktail?
198
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,629
Uh-uh.
199
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,239
Anybody home?
200
00:12:58,077 --> 00:12:58,509
Hello?
201
00:12:58,533 --> 00:13:01,557
Photographer: I'm in here.
Be with you in a minute.
202
00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:03,247
Okay.
203
00:13:07,053 --> 00:13:09,164
I'll just wait right
Out here for you, okay?
204
00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:18,641
Thanks, pal. You
Know what this was?
205
00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:21,544
- no.
- well, now nobody else
Will either.
206
00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:23,178
Gee, I'm sorry. I...
207
00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:24,980
Yeah. Oh, what the hell?
208
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:27,416
I'm all through with this
Penny-ante stuff anyway.
209
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,152
Okay, what can I do for you?
210
00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:30,319
Uh, my name's arthur carlson.
211
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:31,954
I'm here to pick up the pictures
212
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:34,290
For the "Surf's up
In cincinnati" poster.
213
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,759
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Got 'em
Right here. Wait just a minute.
214
00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:38,227
Tell me something:
215
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:40,451
You work for that same
Loony toon tarlek does?
216
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,435
Yeah.
217
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:49,772
Whoops! Not these.
Whoo! No, sirree!
218
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:51,707
Uh, wait a minute.
I've got yours here.
219
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:54,811
Just let me look for... I
Bet you they're in the dryer.
220
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:57,034
Just give me a minute.
221
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,293
Hey, you're gonna love...
Hey, hey, hey. Give me those.
222
00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:13,295
What's the matter with you?
223
00:14:13,319 --> 00:14:15,231
Well, that... That's
My... My receptionist.
224
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:17,633
My secret... That's my jennifer!
225
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:19,602
So what?
226
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:22,104
She's... She's... Naked.
227
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:25,396
Look, pal, here are your
Pictures. I'll bill you.
228
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:30,745
- where'd you get those?
- she posed for them.
229
00:14:30,769 --> 00:14:33,349
No, she didn't. She
Wouldn't do that.
230
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,885
Well, then, it's her
Word against mine.
231
00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:38,053
And besides, pictures don't lie.
232
00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:40,289
Now, look, I'm very busy.
233
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,291
What are you
Gonna do with those?
234
00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:43,692
I'm gonna sell them.
235
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,184
That's what I do for a
Living: I sell pictures.
236
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,498
You're gonna sell
Those pictures to some
237
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:51,601
Cheap girlie magazine?
238
00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:53,958
No, I'm gonna sell them
To the catholic church.
239
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:58,908
Just wait a minute.
240
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,910
You sell those
Pictures for publication,
241
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:04,447
I'm gonna have my lawyer all
Over you, and don't think I won't!
242
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,315
I don't think so. You see,
243
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,651
I got the lady's
Release form right here.
244
00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:12,722
Look, pal, I've been
Doing this for years.
245
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:15,991
What's legal, what's
Not. I'm no amateur.
246
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:18,427
I've been waiting for the
Big one. This little lady is it.
247
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:20,395
It's like those marilyn
Monroe pictures.
248
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,464
playboy built an
Empire on those.
249
00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:24,900
Those photographs are like gold.
250
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:28,392
I'm the one responsible for her
Coming here in the first place!
251
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,775
Oh, come on.
252
00:15:33,799 --> 00:15:35,611
This isn't right.
253
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:38,013
What can you do? Huh?
254
00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:39,648
You can't do nothing.
255
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:42,272
Go home.
256
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:02,204
Hello, mr. Carlson.
257
00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:04,540
H... Hello, jennifer.
258
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,375
Did you see the pictures?
259
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:07,677
Yes.
260
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,945
Are they good?
261
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,814
Yes.
262
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:14,784
- you liked them, then?
- y-yes.
263
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,952
Well, that's good.
264
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,121
Yes. Is herb here?
265
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,857
I think he's back in the bullpen.
They're all playing cards.
266
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:23,647
Oh, good.
267
00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:29,765
Well, that ends our little
Five-minute card break, boys.
268
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:31,800
- back to work.
- oh, hi, a.C.
269
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,936
- hi.
- pick a card, big guy.
270
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:37,606
Herb, although it's been said
Many times, many ways, you're fired.
271
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:39,307
And I'm not kidding.
You're gone.
272
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:41,210
- wait a minute...
- I'm sorry, herb. That's it.
273
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:44,113
- mr. Carlson, what's go...
- oh, and you, travis,
You were there.
274
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:46,916
- you were supposed to
Be her escort.
- what?
275
00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:49,952
This photographer
Of herb's choosing
276
00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:52,388
Has somehow gotten nude
Pictures of our jennifer.
277
00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:54,345
- let's see 'em.
- where are they?
278
00:16:57,616 --> 00:16:59,595
No, he didn't.
279
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,430
I saw them in the office.
280
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:04,366
What is he gonna do with them? Sell
Them to some girlie magazine or something?
281
00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:07,570
No, he's gonna sell them
To the catholic church.
282
00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:09,238
Wise up, venus.
283
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:10,973
Hey, I just asked
A question, man.
284
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:13,576
Look, I'm sorry, but
I'm upset by all of this.
285
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,777
Jennifer doesn't even know
286
00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:17,813
What an injustice
Has been done to her,
287
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:20,416
And I'm the one that's gonna have
To tell her because it was my idea.
288
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,185
I mean, were it not for me,
This would not have happened.
289
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,209
Sounds to me like I'm not fired.
290
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:33,461
I can't blame you, herb.
291
00:17:33,485 --> 00:17:35,463
I thought I could.
292
00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:39,201
I dearly wanted to. But I can't.
293
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,726
How... Nude is she?
294
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:47,743
Well, this, uh... Nude-nude.
295
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,745
Wait a minute. Now, hold on.
296
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,814
I don't get this. Now,
We were together.
297
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:54,950
Well, the pictures look like they
Were taken when she was changing.
298
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:57,986
- why, that dirty...
- isn't that against the law?
299
00:17:58,010 --> 00:18:00,121
Apparently not.
Releases were signed.
300
00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:02,123
The attorney said we can
Fight it, but the pictures
301
00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:04,593
Probably get published
Anyway, no matter what happens.
302
00:18:06,685 --> 00:18:09,598
I don't believe this.
303
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:12,634
Jennifer's gonna...
304
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:15,404
Well, I don't know what she's
Gonna do. This is gonna kill her.
305
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:18,273
- mr. Carlson: yeah.
- were the negatives
306
00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:20,709
In the envelope with the photos?
307
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,645
Yes.
308
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:25,114
And you know where that
Envelope is in the office?
309
00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:27,416
Yes. I think it's in his desk.
310
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,252
Well, I'm gonna suggest
311
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:33,288
Something ridiculous here.
312
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:35,257
As usual, it's one of my
313
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:41,029
Deeply bent ideas,
And I suggest it
314
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:43,065
Just so that we
Can dismiss it quickly
315
00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:45,534
And move on to sounder ground.
316
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,937
But nevertheless,
317
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:51,040
Why don't we watergate it?
318
00:18:51,064 --> 00:18:53,209
Mr. Carlson: what?
319
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,477
You know.
320
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:57,480
Are you nuts? Breaking
And entering is a felony!
321
00:18:57,504 --> 00:19:00,583
- good lord, fever.
- why don't we think of
Something else?
322
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:02,685
Wait-wait-wait a minute here.
323
00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:04,241
Uh...
324
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:08,278
Fever just might
Be on to something.
325
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:14,262
Well, I don't know exactly
What else to do about it.
326
00:19:14,286 --> 00:19:16,899
Look, I'm certainly not gonna
Let some sleazy photographer
327
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:18,901
Ruin the life and reputation
Of a good friend of mine
328
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,503
Just because she did me a favor.
329
00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:24,239
- I'm with you, big guy.
- we get caught,
330
00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:25,974
We could go to jail.
331
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,699
Yeah, that's the part of
The plan that I don't like.
332
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:33,982
Now, look. I realize
There's a certain amount
333
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:38,509
Of risk and, uh,
Possible prosecution.
334
00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:42,424
If any of you aren't
Willing to take the risk,
335
00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:44,493
Then I say you just
Walk right now.
336
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,495
I'm not gonna say
Anything to you.
337
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,599
We're not gonna think
Any the worse of you.
338
00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:53,924
Excuse me.
339
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:02,733
Fever, now what?
340
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:55,686
One, two, three.
341
00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:00,791
Shh!
342
00:21:04,363 --> 00:21:06,742
Venus: well, we figured 30
Minutes to open the front door.
343
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,378
We did it in a minute and a half, but I
Don't think we'll get an "A" for neatness.
344
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:11,680
Andy: I thought we weren't gonna
Talk. What are we talking for?
345
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,915
Mr. Carlson: we've got to talk!
We've got to communicate!
346
00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:16,451
- andy: will you shut up?
- I beg your pardon!
347
00:21:16,475 --> 00:21:19,488
I'm sorry, mr. Carlson,
But I'm so afraid, I'm...
348
00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:22,157
Johnny: listen, kid,
We're all scared.
349
00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:24,460
Any man who says
He's not is a liar.
350
00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:27,284
Venus: are you nuts,
Joking at a time like this?
351
00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:30,866
Tell him to stop!
352
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:34,069
Andy: settle down. We're acting
Like a bunch of republicans.
353
00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:35,733
Johnny: that's right.
354
00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:40,876
Mr. Carlson: what's wrong
With that? I'm a republican.
355
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:43,545
Andy: you're a republican?
I didn't know that.
356
00:21:43,569 --> 00:21:45,647
- venus: me neither.
- I thought you guys knew.
357
00:21:45,671 --> 00:21:46,815
Both: no.
358
00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:48,817
Johnny: all right,
Knock it off, you guys.
359
00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:51,720
Look, maybe he is a republican.
360
00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:53,955
Maybe he's a black man.
361
00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:56,458
Maybe he's from the southwest.
362
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,427
But we're all americans,
And we came here
363
00:21:58,451 --> 00:22:00,029
To do a job, okay?
364
00:22:00,053 --> 00:22:01,853
Venus: will you stop that?!
365
00:22:05,391 --> 00:22:07,636
Andy: we came here
To get the photos.
366
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,905
We're gonna get the photos,
And we're gonna get out of here.
367
00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:12,796
Look, I think the photos
Are... Give me the flashlight.
368
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:15,977
Oh, yeah. This drawer's
Full of photos.
369
00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:18,447
I'm gonna go through
Each and every envelope.
370
00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:19,714
Venus: do you have
Another flashlight?
371
00:22:19,738 --> 00:22:21,050
- no.
- perfect.
372
00:22:21,074 --> 00:22:22,951
Johnny: why don't we turn
On the overhead light?
373
00:22:22,975 --> 00:22:24,286
Venus: are you crazy?!
374
00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:25,620
Johnny: yeah. I'm
Here, aren't I?
375
00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:31,626
Mr. Carlson: what the
Dickens was that?
376
00:22:31,650 --> 00:22:33,429
Johnny: I don't know.
377
00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:35,064
Andy: I need the light.
378
00:22:35,088 --> 00:22:38,067
Venus: all I got is
Negatives over here.
379
00:22:38,091 --> 00:22:40,202
Andy: there's a
Shot of toothpaste.
380
00:22:40,226 --> 00:22:41,603
There's another
Shot of toothpaste.
381
00:22:41,627 --> 00:22:42,637
Johnny: light, please.
382
00:22:42,661 --> 00:22:43,638
- yeah, sure.
383
00:22:43,662 --> 00:22:44,839
Venus: I can't make this out.
384
00:22:44,863 --> 00:22:46,808
Let me see that
Light for a second.
385
00:22:46,832 --> 00:22:48,810
Mr. Carlson: I think I'm gonna
Need that light again, johnny.
386
00:22:48,834 --> 00:22:50,179
- yeah, come on, a.C.
387
00:22:50,203 --> 00:22:51,180
Venus: wait a minute.
388
00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:52,881
There's a woman
Smiling at a cigarette.
389
00:22:52,905 --> 00:22:56,385
Johnny: all I got here is
Portraits of labrador retrievers.
390
00:22:56,409 --> 00:23:00,355
Mr. Carlson: well, here's
A picture of a nude lady.
391
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:01,690
Oh, but it's not jennifer.
392
00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:04,326
Johnny: uh, can I see that?
393
00:23:04,350 --> 00:23:05,870
Venus: me too.
394
00:23:06,785 --> 00:23:08,964
- I just want to see it...
- I told you no!
395
00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:14,069
Johnny: I can't have men
Like this under my command!
396
00:23:14,093 --> 00:23:15,804
Come on! Shape up, boys.
397
00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:16,838
Mr. Carlson: knock it off!
398
00:23:16,862 --> 00:23:19,896
Shh, listen.
399
00:23:30,309 --> 00:23:32,321
Man: wkrp in cincinnati
400
00:23:32,345 --> 00:23:34,278
will be back after this.
401
00:23:40,786 --> 00:23:42,598
That was close. I mean,
That was real close.
402
00:23:42,622 --> 00:23:45,167
- man, it was an ambulance.
- I don't care what it was.
403
00:23:45,191 --> 00:23:48,103
It came down the street.
404
00:23:48,127 --> 00:23:50,572
It came down the street,
And it scared me to death.
405
00:23:50,596 --> 00:23:53,609
The most frightening moment
Of my life, I'll tell you that.
406
00:23:53,633 --> 00:23:56,713
It's a good thing I keep an
Extra pair of jeans in my office.
407
00:23:59,005 --> 00:24:02,217
I'm gonna go see
What moss is up to.
408
00:24:02,241 --> 00:24:04,353
I'm sorry, mr. Carlson.
409
00:24:04,377 --> 00:24:06,654
We just do not make
Very good burglars.
410
00:24:06,678 --> 00:24:10,458
I can't believe we did this.
411
00:24:10,482 --> 00:24:13,361
We committed a crime!
412
00:24:13,385 --> 00:24:16,753
I think what we should
Do is... Turn ourselves in.
413
00:24:18,257 --> 00:24:20,836
Oh, no, a.C. I know
We were bad boys,
414
00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:22,838
And we're going to
Hell for what we did,
415
00:24:22,862 --> 00:24:24,772
But we can't go to no prison.
416
00:24:24,796 --> 00:24:27,996
I can deal with going to hell,
But I can't deal with going to jail.
417
00:24:29,235 --> 00:24:32,513
I committed a crime.
418
00:24:32,537 --> 00:24:34,382
What's even worse,
419
00:24:34,406 --> 00:24:36,551
I had you young fellows help me.
420
00:24:36,575 --> 00:24:39,788
How did I do that? I mean, what
Makes something like this happen?
421
00:24:39,812 --> 00:24:42,290
I mean, I'm a kiwanian.
422
00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:45,460
I drive a dodge, for gosh sakes.
423
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:47,463
Beige.
424
00:24:47,487 --> 00:24:49,064
- mr. Carlson...
- black sidewalls.
425
00:24:49,088 --> 00:24:51,266
Mr. Carlson, take
It easy, all right?
426
00:24:51,290 --> 00:24:54,837
I can't help it. I'm just not the sort of
Fellow who goes around committing crimes.
427
00:24:54,861 --> 00:24:58,606
I mean, you know those
Mattresses with those tags,
428
00:24:58,630 --> 00:25:00,709
"Unlawful to remove"?
429
00:25:00,733 --> 00:25:04,880
It makes me nervous just to
Have those suckers in the house.
430
00:25:04,904 --> 00:25:06,781
I'm really hungry.
You guys hungry?
431
00:25:06,805 --> 00:25:10,618
- why don't we get
Something to eat?
- you go on without me.
432
00:25:10,642 --> 00:25:13,154
Mr. Carlson's feeling a
Little guilty, that's all.
433
00:25:13,178 --> 00:25:15,556
And you know what?
Mr. Carlson wants us to...
434
00:25:15,580 --> 00:25:17,514
Turn ourselves in.
435
00:25:20,086 --> 00:25:22,064
Come on, now. What's
Wrong with that?
436
00:25:22,088 --> 00:25:24,266
We get a little reprimand
And a clear conscience.
437
00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:27,436
- sure. If you don't
Have a record.
- oh.
438
00:25:27,460 --> 00:25:29,638
A record?
439
00:25:29,662 --> 00:25:31,440
Have you got a record?
440
00:25:31,464 --> 00:25:32,696
No.
441
00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:36,299
Not in this country.
442
00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:41,183
It was nothing!
443
00:25:41,207 --> 00:25:43,885
It was a minor
Misunderstanding one night
444
00:25:43,909 --> 00:25:46,755
With 145 mexican cops.
445
00:25:46,779 --> 00:25:48,890
He's just kidding.
446
00:25:48,914 --> 00:25:51,260
- let's go eat.
- I thought they were soldiers.
447
00:25:51,284 --> 00:25:53,828
- I'll catch up with you.
- I said, "Show me some badges,"
448
00:25:53,852 --> 00:25:55,530
And the guy said, "Badges?
449
00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:57,655
We don't need no
Stinking badges."
450
00:26:02,995 --> 00:26:05,707
Mr. Carlson, I guess, uh,
451
00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:07,942
Someone should tell
Jennifer about this.
452
00:26:07,966 --> 00:26:09,132
Yeah.
453
00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:12,235
Don't worry about
It. I'll handle it.
454
00:26:13,439 --> 00:26:14,949
No.
455
00:26:14,973 --> 00:26:18,086
No, I'll do it. It's
My responsibility.
456
00:26:18,110 --> 00:26:19,142
Okay.
457
00:26:35,961 --> 00:26:37,472
- mr. Carlson...
- run!
458
00:26:37,496 --> 00:26:39,274
- what?
- huh?
459
00:26:39,298 --> 00:26:41,009
Oh.
460
00:26:41,033 --> 00:26:44,612
Uh, I'm sorry,
Jennifer. I'm sorry.
461
00:26:44,636 --> 00:26:46,882
Would you like a cup of coffee?
462
00:26:46,906 --> 00:26:49,184
Oh, boy, would I. Yeah.
463
00:26:49,208 --> 00:26:50,986
Okay.
464
00:26:59,385 --> 00:27:00,850
Here you go.
465
00:27:03,255 --> 00:27:05,667
Uh, thanks, jennifer.
466
00:27:05,691 --> 00:27:07,457
Thank you very much.
467
00:27:09,194 --> 00:27:12,073
Mm! Oh, boy, that's good.
468
00:27:12,097 --> 00:27:15,710
Oh, that's really good.
469
00:27:15,734 --> 00:27:18,212
Have you been here all night?
470
00:27:18,236 --> 00:27:20,282
No. Matter of fact,
I didn't get here
471
00:27:20,306 --> 00:27:22,205
Until about 4:00.
472
00:27:23,942 --> 00:27:26,388
Were you working?
473
00:27:26,412 --> 00:27:28,256
No. No, no. I was out
474
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,025
Trying to get some
Pictures... Snapshots.
475
00:27:31,049 --> 00:27:32,549
At 4:00?
476
00:27:33,919 --> 00:27:39,456
Uh, jennifer, sit down, please.
477
00:27:43,328 --> 00:27:48,999
Jennifer, that, uh,
Photographer, gonser...
478
00:27:50,569 --> 00:27:53,781
Oh, jennifer, he's
Done a terrible thing.
479
00:27:53,805 --> 00:27:58,587
And then I... Did a...
A terrible thing.
480
00:27:58,611 --> 00:28:00,543
What is it, mr. Carlson?
481
00:28:02,348 --> 00:28:06,495
Jennifer, that
Photographer got some
482
00:28:06,519 --> 00:28:08,952
Pictures of you...
483
00:28:11,023 --> 00:28:12,755
Without any clothes on.
484
00:28:14,192 --> 00:28:17,160
I think he took them
When you were changing.
485
00:28:19,331 --> 00:28:20,864
How do you know?
486
00:28:26,638 --> 00:28:29,572
I-I s... I saw them. I'm sorry.
487
00:28:31,377 --> 00:28:32,809
How were they?
488
00:28:40,953 --> 00:28:42,953
Oh, just real good. Uh...
489
00:28:49,829 --> 00:28:51,573
What I mean is,
490
00:28:51,597 --> 00:28:54,242
You could certainly
See that they were taken
491
00:28:54,266 --> 00:28:56,244
By a professional photographer.
492
00:28:56,268 --> 00:28:59,636
Oh. Oh, my.
493
00:29:00,873 --> 00:29:02,672
Yeah.
494
00:29:05,444 --> 00:29:07,689
Oh, jennifer, it's all my fault.
495
00:29:07,713 --> 00:29:10,792
I mean, this whole
Thing was my idea.
496
00:29:10,816 --> 00:29:13,528
I can't even ask
You to forgive me,
497
00:29:13,552 --> 00:29:15,596
But I want you to know
That I've been worried
498
00:29:15,620 --> 00:29:17,620
And upset about
This whole thing.
499
00:29:18,991 --> 00:29:22,003
So much, so, jennifer, that I...
500
00:29:22,027 --> 00:29:25,373
I did the most foolish
Thing I've ever done in my life.
501
00:29:25,397 --> 00:29:27,042
What?
502
00:29:27,066 --> 00:29:29,833
Took advice from johnny fever.
503
00:29:33,472 --> 00:29:36,272
Andy, venus, johnny,
And yours truly,
504
00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:40,788
We broke into that
Photographer's studio tonight
505
00:29:40,812 --> 00:29:43,513
To try and get
Those pictures back.
506
00:29:45,151 --> 00:29:47,116
I guess we're not
Very good burglars.
507
00:29:49,988 --> 00:29:53,869
You, uh... You all
Did that for me?
508
00:29:53,893 --> 00:29:55,870
Yes.
509
00:29:55,894 --> 00:29:58,672
Mr. Carlson, that
Was very foolish.
510
00:29:58,696 --> 00:30:00,942
Oh, I know.
511
00:30:00,966 --> 00:30:03,711
Thank you.
512
00:30:03,735 --> 00:30:05,780
Well, I can just
Picture the four of you
513
00:30:05,804 --> 00:30:07,382
Sneaking around
There in the dark.
514
00:30:07,406 --> 00:30:08,850
Yeah.
515
00:30:08,874 --> 00:30:11,787
You know, you should've
Come to me first.
516
00:30:11,811 --> 00:30:14,389
- well...
- you know,
517
00:30:14,413 --> 00:30:16,457
Now, who would
Have the best chance
518
00:30:16,481 --> 00:30:19,193
Of getting something
Out of that studio...
519
00:30:19,217 --> 00:30:21,217
You guys or me?
520
00:30:31,963 --> 00:30:34,342
It's easy. All you've got to use
521
00:30:34,366 --> 00:30:36,711
Is a credit card.
522
00:30:36,735 --> 00:30:39,480
With this credit card,
I can open any door
523
00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:42,050
Just like this that I want to.
524
00:30:42,074 --> 00:30:43,885
- really?
- oh, yeah.
525
00:30:43,909 --> 00:30:46,755
You guys should have sent
526
00:30:46,779 --> 00:30:48,956
Jennifer over there
In the first place.
527
00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:52,548
I mean, a guy like gonser wouldn't
Stand a chance with a woman like that.
528
00:30:55,554 --> 00:30:57,465
What... What happened?
529
00:30:57,489 --> 00:31:00,390
The photographer is gay.
530
00:31:03,596 --> 00:31:05,574
What? What did you say?
531
00:31:05,598 --> 00:31:07,576
I said, the
Photographer... Gonser...
532
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:09,878
Whatever his name is... Is gay.
533
00:31:09,902 --> 00:31:12,780
He's gay?
534
00:31:12,804 --> 00:31:14,916
He's gay. You mean to tell me
535
00:31:14,940 --> 00:31:17,418
That when you and I were
Standing there in bathing suits,
536
00:31:17,442 --> 00:31:20,588
And he said, uh...
He said, "Va-va-voom,"
537
00:31:20,612 --> 00:31:23,247
He was talking about me?
538
00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:32,767
"Flash your bods," he said.
539
00:31:32,791 --> 00:31:36,637
I can't believe it. I-I-I
Really can't believe it.
540
00:31:36,661 --> 00:31:38,639
"Go ahead and frolic."
541
00:31:38,663 --> 00:31:41,176
That's what he said.
542
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,866
And god help me, I frolicked.
543
00:31:46,538 --> 00:31:49,005
I feel so used!
544
00:31:54,646 --> 00:31:57,925
Oh, bailey, no, please don't.
545
00:31:57,949 --> 00:32:00,628
Come on, gorgeous.
546
00:32:00,652 --> 00:32:03,164
You're not the first
Kewpie doll to get his
547
00:32:03,188 --> 00:32:05,388
Corsage sat on.
548
00:32:06,958 --> 00:32:09,204
- what the devil does that mean?
- I don't know,
549
00:32:09,228 --> 00:32:11,673
But I think you ought to
Stop this stupid macho stuff
550
00:32:11,697 --> 00:32:13,608
And start worrying
About jennifer.
551
00:32:13,632 --> 00:32:15,910
Well, I'm no expert, jennifer,
552
00:32:15,934 --> 00:32:19,380
But, um, wouldn't a man
553
00:32:19,404 --> 00:32:22,083
Change his religion,
So to speak, if, uh,
554
00:32:22,107 --> 00:32:24,874
You were, so to
Speak, the church?
555
00:32:27,179 --> 00:32:29,479
No, I don't think so, les.
556
00:32:30,882 --> 00:32:32,281
Well,
557
00:32:33,852 --> 00:32:35,919
Maybe he'd like herb.
558
00:32:46,731 --> 00:32:48,043
What?
559
00:32:48,067 --> 00:32:50,912
It's very simple, herb.
560
00:32:50,936 --> 00:32:54,615
Somehow, we've got to cajole those
Negatives away from that photographer.
561
00:32:54,639 --> 00:32:57,052
Obviously andy is too
Shattered by all of this
562
00:32:57,076 --> 00:32:59,554
To be of any help,
563
00:32:59,578 --> 00:33:03,091
And you're always telling me what a
Square I am and how appealing you are,
564
00:33:03,115 --> 00:33:05,460
So obviously,
You're the man to go.
565
00:33:05,484 --> 00:33:08,530
Besides, you're the one who found
This photographer in the first place.
566
00:33:08,554 --> 00:33:11,833
Les, you're finally having
567
00:33:11,857 --> 00:33:13,835
That big mental breakdown
568
00:33:13,859 --> 00:33:16,805
We've all been waiting for.
569
00:33:16,829 --> 00:33:19,441
That's all right. I...
570
00:33:19,465 --> 00:33:22,332
I knew you wouldn't
Help me anyway, herb.
571
00:33:49,894 --> 00:33:51,828
I don't believe this.
572
00:35:13,478 --> 00:35:14,877
Hi.
573
00:36:16,642 --> 00:36:18,207
How's it going?
574
00:36:44,136 --> 00:36:45,568
Herb?
575
00:36:47,406 --> 00:36:51,274
Well, he's not gay,
That's for sure.
576
00:36:53,245 --> 00:36:55,656
And I'll tell you
Something else...
577
00:36:55,680 --> 00:37:00,028
I'm never, ever
Doing that again.
578
00:37:00,052 --> 00:37:02,852
I get enough
Rejection from women.
579
00:37:08,894 --> 00:37:11,505
But he is gay.
580
00:37:11,529 --> 00:37:14,530
Why would a man lie to me
About something like that?
581
00:37:16,034 --> 00:37:18,646
'cause, jennifer.
582
00:37:18,670 --> 00:37:20,714
He's a crook.
583
00:37:20,738 --> 00:37:22,816
A crook and a liar.
584
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:26,075
And he'll say
Anything to anybody.
585
00:37:28,947 --> 00:37:32,481
What will I tell people when
Those pictures are published?
586
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:37,286
What'll I say to my mother?
587
00:37:39,124 --> 00:37:41,970
Well, I'd like to just go right
Over there and punch the guy out.
588
00:37:41,994 --> 00:37:43,804
Now, hold on, pardner.
589
00:37:43,828 --> 00:37:46,589
Violence never solved anything.
590
00:37:47,866 --> 00:37:49,977
That's it. I'm
Going to kill you.
591
00:37:50,001 --> 00:37:51,945
You think about it.
592
00:37:51,969 --> 00:37:54,181
You just think
About it, man. It didn't.
593
00:37:54,205 --> 00:37:56,317
See, what we need here is, uh,
594
00:37:56,341 --> 00:37:59,020
An edge, you know?
An angle, a plan,
595
00:37:59,044 --> 00:38:02,123
Some kind of... Sting.
596
00:38:02,147 --> 00:38:05,159
Well, you've seen every movie
Ever made. Think of something.
597
00:38:05,183 --> 00:38:07,795
Well,
598
00:38:07,819 --> 00:38:11,499
The one thing that's
Common to all scams
599
00:38:11,523 --> 00:38:14,101
Is not how smart you are
600
00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:16,103
Or how great your plan is,
601
00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:19,040
It's how greedy your victim is.
602
00:38:19,064 --> 00:38:20,864
Well, we're in business here.
603
00:38:22,700 --> 00:38:27,481
A.C., I need about
$300, $400, okay?
604
00:38:27,505 --> 00:38:30,084
- oh...
- is it important?
605
00:38:30,108 --> 00:38:32,486
- yeah.
- okay.
606
00:38:32,510 --> 00:38:37,680
Bailey, can you play
Like an aggressive,
607
00:38:39,217 --> 00:38:42,196
Really straightforward
Woman who's been around?
608
00:38:42,220 --> 00:38:45,666
- oh, nope. I can't.
- the hell she can't.
609
00:38:45,690 --> 00:38:48,836
Good. Good.
610
00:38:48,860 --> 00:38:50,994
Now I'll need, uh...
611
00:38:52,396 --> 00:38:55,131
I'll need time to think.
612
00:38:56,234 --> 00:38:58,512
A shot of bourbon.
613
00:38:58,536 --> 00:39:00,782
Couple hours of shuteye.
614
00:39:00,806 --> 00:39:02,672
Oh, god.
615
00:39:10,282 --> 00:39:13,461
- d. Arnold gonser?
- yeah.
616
00:39:13,485 --> 00:39:16,597
How do you do? My name
Is philippe caravella,
617
00:39:16,621 --> 00:39:19,367
And this is ginger gregg.
We'd like to speak to you.
618
00:39:19,391 --> 00:39:21,936
- what about?
- business, mr. Gonser.
619
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:25,006
I think you'll like
What we have to say.
620
00:39:25,030 --> 00:39:27,608
Okay. Have a seat.
621
00:39:27,632 --> 00:39:30,299
- ginger.
- thank you, philip.
622
00:39:32,937 --> 00:39:35,215
Mr. Gonser, I shall
Come right to the point.
623
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:37,518
You are in possession of
Photographs of a woman
624
00:39:37,542 --> 00:39:40,688
Living in cincinnati, a
Miss jennifer marlowe.
625
00:39:40,712 --> 00:39:42,757
We want those photos.
626
00:39:42,781 --> 00:39:46,260
How did you know about
That? Who are you two?
627
00:39:46,284 --> 00:39:49,397
Who we are is of no
Consequence to you, mr. Gonser.
628
00:39:49,421 --> 00:39:51,732
We simply want your photographs.
629
00:39:51,756 --> 00:39:53,267
Oh, no. Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
630
00:39:53,291 --> 00:39:56,104
You either tell me who you
Are, or you get out of my studio.
631
00:39:56,128 --> 00:39:59,306
Excuse me, but we want
Those photographs, mr. Gonser,
632
00:39:59,330 --> 00:40:02,376
And we are prepared
To pay a high price.
633
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,378
And then we'll get
Out of this village
634
00:40:04,402 --> 00:40:06,714
And back to new york
As soon as we can.
635
00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:08,783
I'll call you a cab.
636
00:40:08,807 --> 00:40:12,853
Mr. Gonser, we are in
The publishing business.
637
00:40:12,877 --> 00:40:16,490
Both philip and I have either
Worked for or counseled with
638
00:40:16,514 --> 00:40:19,894
playboy, penthouse,
And hustler magazine.
639
00:40:19,918 --> 00:40:24,098
Philip was an art
Director, and I was a model.
640
00:40:24,122 --> 00:40:27,435
- playmate of the year.
- yes. 1975.
641
00:40:27,459 --> 00:40:29,236
Yeah.
642
00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:32,173
Yeah, yeah, that's right. I
Thought I recognized you.
643
00:40:32,197 --> 00:40:34,475
Mr. Gonser, we represent
644
00:40:34,499 --> 00:40:36,810
A west german publishing firm
645
00:40:36,834 --> 00:40:39,180
Wishing to start a new
Magazine in this country.
646
00:40:39,204 --> 00:40:41,804
Just offer him the
Money, and let's go.
647
00:40:43,408 --> 00:40:46,909
I will do this in my
Own fashion, philip.
648
00:40:48,947 --> 00:40:52,827
Wolfgang specifically said
That I was to be in charge.
649
00:40:52,851 --> 00:40:56,964
Wolfgang does not speak
For the entire cartel.
650
00:40:56,988 --> 00:41:00,435
I beg your pardon, but
I believe that he does.
651
00:41:00,459 --> 00:41:02,003
- he doesn't.
- he does.
652
00:41:02,027 --> 00:41:03,871
He doesn't.
653
00:41:03,895 --> 00:41:06,240
- so help me, ginger.
- so help you what?
654
00:41:06,264 --> 00:41:08,242
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Now,
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
655
00:41:08,266 --> 00:41:11,545
Now, look, you two have
Worked together for a long time.
656
00:41:11,569 --> 00:41:15,037
Let's try to remember we're all friends
Here. We came here to discuss business.
657
00:41:17,275 --> 00:41:20,176
Are you going to be civil?
658
00:41:21,946 --> 00:41:24,258
Of course, my darling.
659
00:41:24,282 --> 00:41:27,416
Good. Good, good.
Have a seat, please.
660
00:41:28,987 --> 00:41:31,199
Now, tell me, how do you
Know about the pictures?
661
00:41:31,223 --> 00:41:34,101
You offered them to
Two other publications,
662
00:41:34,125 --> 00:41:35,936
Perhaps more.
663
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,739
- no. That's not true.
- don't lie to me, mr. Gonser.
664
00:41:38,763 --> 00:41:40,896
I will not tolerate your lies!
665
00:41:42,767 --> 00:41:44,578
All right, all right.
I offered them,
666
00:41:44,602 --> 00:41:46,013
But how do you know that?
667
00:41:46,037 --> 00:41:49,616
We have... Spies, if you will.
668
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,652
They tell us that
This marlowe woman
669
00:41:51,676 --> 00:41:54,622
Is the most beautiful
Woman they've seen in years.
670
00:41:54,646 --> 00:41:56,523
How much are you willing to pay?
671
00:41:56,547 --> 00:42:00,249
Well, I must see
The photos first.
672
00:42:01,853 --> 00:42:02,853
Sure.
673
00:42:09,728 --> 00:42:12,106
I had to ask him to see them.
674
00:42:12,130 --> 00:42:14,274
You don't buy things
Like this sight unseen...
675
00:42:14,298 --> 00:42:16,498
Thousands of them.
676
00:42:18,169 --> 00:42:20,369
- here you go.
- thank you.
677
00:42:25,877 --> 00:42:27,988
That will do.
678
00:42:28,012 --> 00:42:30,725
They're-they're
Excellent. They're fine.
679
00:42:30,749 --> 00:42:33,894
They're very good, actually. There
May be some trouble with the lighting...
680
00:42:33,918 --> 00:42:35,929
What is your price, mr. Gonser?
681
00:42:35,953 --> 00:42:37,999
Well, now, I don't know.
682
00:42:38,023 --> 00:42:40,001
I'll have to think
About that. I mean,
683
00:42:40,025 --> 00:42:43,204
These are the first
Pictures in a new magazine?
684
00:42:43,228 --> 00:42:45,806
These pictures can make or break
You. What's the name of your magazine?
685
00:42:45,830 --> 00:42:48,843
- none of your business.
- make it my business.
686
00:42:48,867 --> 00:42:51,478
It's called na-vahl.
687
00:42:51,502 --> 00:42:55,683
That's n-a-v-e-l.
688
00:42:55,707 --> 00:42:58,319
Very stylish.
689
00:42:58,343 --> 00:43:01,188
I don't think you know the meaning
Of the word "Stylish," mr. Gonser.
690
00:43:01,212 --> 00:43:04,013
- how much?
- I don't know stylish?
691
00:43:05,517 --> 00:43:07,194
Look, pal, just remember
692
00:43:07,218 --> 00:43:09,696
You two used to be right
Down here where I am...
693
00:43:09,720 --> 00:43:11,932
Just a nude model and
Her illustrator boyfriend.
694
00:43:11,956 --> 00:43:14,502
But now, of course, you're a
Bunch of new york big-shots.
695
00:43:14,526 --> 00:43:17,705
- how much?
- $30,000.
696
00:43:17,729 --> 00:43:19,574
How much?
697
00:43:19,598 --> 00:43:22,476
- that's ridiculous, mr. Gonser.
- take it or leave it.
698
00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:25,546
- philip, write the check.
- no check. This is
A cash business.
699
00:43:25,570 --> 00:43:27,882
Our check is good.
700
00:43:27,906 --> 00:43:29,517
No check. I'll take
A money order.
701
00:43:29,541 --> 00:43:31,752
I repeat, sir: our
Check is good.
702
00:43:31,776 --> 00:43:34,521
- money order.
- fine.
703
00:43:34,545 --> 00:43:37,591
Let's go across the
Street to the bank.
704
00:43:37,615 --> 00:43:40,761
- now you're talking.
- no. That won't do.
705
00:43:40,785 --> 00:43:43,163
I am tired of arguing.
706
00:43:43,187 --> 00:43:46,700
Philip, we have got to
Get back to new york
707
00:43:46,724 --> 00:43:49,670
To talk to the investors
And hire staff photographers.
708
00:43:49,694 --> 00:43:52,139
Now, come on. Let's
Go back to the bank.
709
00:43:52,163 --> 00:43:54,275
Whoa. Wait a minute,
Wait a minute. Did, uh...
710
00:43:54,299 --> 00:43:57,232
- did you just say
"Hire staff photographers"?
- yes.
711
00:43:59,637 --> 00:44:02,683
Well, uh, how about me?
712
00:44:02,707 --> 00:44:05,085
Why not? I'm good.
713
00:44:05,109 --> 00:44:07,621
- oh, I'm sorry, mr. Gonser.
- okay, forget it.
714
00:44:07,645 --> 00:44:09,623
No pictures. I don't
Care what your price is.
715
00:44:09,647 --> 00:44:11,392
Listen to him, philip.
716
00:44:11,416 --> 00:44:13,059
Do shut up, ginger.
717
00:44:13,083 --> 00:44:15,729
I am sick and tired of you!
718
00:44:15,753 --> 00:44:19,400
I am afraid that it
Wouldn't work, mr. Gonser.
719
00:44:19,424 --> 00:44:21,702
Philip would hire you
Just to get the pictures,
720
00:44:21,726 --> 00:44:24,104
Then he would turn
Around and fire you.
721
00:44:24,128 --> 00:44:26,862
That is the type
Of person he is.
722
00:44:28,866 --> 00:44:31,645
Unless...
723
00:44:31,669 --> 00:44:36,183
Unless you were...
One of the investors.
724
00:44:36,207 --> 00:44:38,452
Impossible.
725
00:44:38,476 --> 00:44:42,423
It is a very smart
Investment, mr. Gonser.
726
00:44:42,447 --> 00:44:44,791
Dupont, xerox and burger king
727
00:44:44,815 --> 00:44:47,328
Have already invested secretly.
728
00:44:47,352 --> 00:44:49,896
Ginger, you talk
Entirely too much.
729
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,080
- you always talk too much!
- shut up, philip.
730
00:44:57,128 --> 00:45:00,074
I could take stock
Instead of cash, couldn't I?
731
00:45:00,098 --> 00:45:02,142
You could.
732
00:45:02,166 --> 00:45:05,679
Oh! $30,000!
733
00:45:05,703 --> 00:45:07,681
That's how much
Stock philip owns.
734
00:45:07,705 --> 00:45:10,183
I daresay he
Couldn't fire you then.
735
00:45:10,207 --> 00:45:11,986
Ginger, when we get
Back to new york...
736
00:45:12,010 --> 00:45:14,688
- you've got yourself
A deal, miss gregg.
- good.
737
00:45:14,712 --> 00:45:17,691
I'll have our lawyers telex a
Letter of agreement down here.
738
00:45:17,715 --> 00:45:20,961
The photos and negatives will
Serve as your investment. Agreed?
739
00:45:20,985 --> 00:45:23,163
- well, uh...
- no.
740
00:45:23,187 --> 00:45:24,865
Why not?
741
00:45:24,889 --> 00:45:28,135
It will be the
Photos, the negatives,
742
00:45:28,159 --> 00:45:32,361
Plus $500 in cash.
743
00:45:34,098 --> 00:45:35,909
Why?
744
00:45:35,933 --> 00:45:37,978
Just to be a pain.
745
00:45:38,002 --> 00:45:40,514
- philip, please...
- no, no. No. That's all right.
746
00:45:40,538 --> 00:45:44,351
That's no problem. I'll just
Write out a check. Big deal.
747
00:45:44,375 --> 00:45:47,287
No, no, no, no. No checks.
748
00:45:47,311 --> 00:45:49,589
This is a cash business.
749
00:45:49,613 --> 00:45:52,660
- please, philippe...
- okay, okay.
750
00:45:52,684 --> 00:45:54,965
I'll go across the street
And get you a money order.
751
00:45:57,187 --> 00:45:58,854
Very well.
752
00:46:21,946 --> 00:46:23,924
Jennifer, we thought
753
00:46:23,948 --> 00:46:26,393
You'd take pleasure
In destroying these.
754
00:46:26,417 --> 00:46:28,461
Oh, thank you, bailey.
755
00:46:28,485 --> 00:46:31,031
Thank you, everybody, so much.
756
00:46:31,055 --> 00:46:33,033
Hey, we got the photos
And the negatives
757
00:46:33,057 --> 00:46:35,669
And 500 bucks to boot.
758
00:46:35,693 --> 00:46:38,138
Uh, no, we didn't.
759
00:46:38,162 --> 00:46:40,140
Here, mr. Carlson.
760
00:46:40,164 --> 00:46:43,410
This is for the kiwanis
Children's fund.
761
00:46:43,434 --> 00:46:45,412
Andy: hey-hey!
762
00:46:45,436 --> 00:46:49,149
Huh? Hey-hey. Thank you, bailey.
763
00:46:49,173 --> 00:46:50,973
Ginger.
764
00:46:53,811 --> 00:46:54,844
Ginger.
765
00:46:55,947 --> 00:46:59,960
Ginger, I despise you.
766
00:46:59,984 --> 00:47:03,085
I always have,
And I always will.
767
00:47:04,555 --> 00:47:06,254
That does it.
768
00:47:08,626 --> 00:47:10,737
I just love it when
Things get back to normal.
769
00:47:10,761 --> 00:47:12,839
I just love it!
770
00:47:12,863 --> 00:47:16,076
You know, I am going
To incinerate these.
771
00:47:16,100 --> 00:47:17,967
Uh, jennifer,
772
00:47:20,004 --> 00:47:22,116
I don't suppose
That we could just
773
00:47:22,140 --> 00:47:28,488
Have a... Just a little... Peek?
774
00:47:28,512 --> 00:47:30,646
No, indeed not.
775
00:47:37,454 --> 00:47:40,067
Hey, baby.
776
00:47:40,091 --> 00:47:42,736
You know, purple's
My favorite color.
777
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:44,337
How about a dance, huh?
778
00:47:44,361 --> 00:47:45,839
Better yet, how about
A champagne cock...
779
00:47:45,863 --> 00:47:48,863
Wait a minute, bailey. You
Know I wear bikini underwear.
780
00:48:11,355 --> 00:48:12,788
Perfect.
57028
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