All language subtitles for WKRP in Cincinnati S02E18 Les Groupie.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en

And the robber got away
With two rolls of barbed wire,

A parcheesi set,
18 cans of play-doh,

And a six-pack of
Stout malt liquor.

This is les nessman
Saying, "Good day,

And may the good news be yours."

Now stay tuned
For dr. Johnny fever

And his radio show.

Yes, it is radio. What a
Surprise for our listeners.

Dr. John: hee-hee-hee-hee!

And that note of agreement comes
From today's consulting physician

And my good friend, dr. John,
All the way up from new orleans.

Doctor, with all the trouble
We've got in the world today,

How are we gonna keep these babies
Growing up straight and strong?

- ♪ keep the music simple ♪
- phone, john.

- ♪ come on, let's move ♪
- yeah.

- ♪ keep the music simple ♪
- I don't know what I'd do
Without you here, les.

Krp. You got me.
Talk to me, okay?

♪ it'll make you
Jump and shout ♪

Can you hold on a moment?

- thanks.
- ♪ I know what
I'm talkin' about ♪

Les, listen to this.

You might learn something.

- hi.
- woman: are you there?

Yes, I am, and I can hear
You much better now.

- what's your name, sugar?
- my name's darlene,

- hi.
- and I just wanted
to call and tell you

that I think you're the
Sexiest man in cincinnati radio.

Well, thank you
Very much, darlene,

And allow me to compliment you

On your obvious sense
Of taste and style.

you know, I've often
Had fantasies about you.

Is that so?

I'll tell you what, darlene: I
Got a couple of minutes here.

Why don't you just run down a
Few of those fantasies for me.

I think that's disgusting.

who's that?

Oh, don't be upset, sweetheart.

It's just les nessman,
The newsman.

wait a minute.
You mean this isn't

les nessman I'm talking to?

Ooh!

Les nessman here.

ooh!

that's the voice
That does the trick.

How long did you say
You've been listening to me?

- oh, just ages.
- oh, really?

- ever since you've been on.
- oh, good.

I follow all the newsmen...
Cronkite, rudd, safer, mudd...

- uh-huh.
- and you're the best,
the very best.

Many people feel that way.

in my mind's eye,
I'm sure I know

exactly what you look like.

Oh, really? Uh...

Well, what-what do
You think I look like?

well, let's see. I'll
Bet you're about 5'8",

- uh-huh.
- not too short
and not too tall,

- mm-hmm.
- with a distinguished
little bald spot.

oh, yes, and glasses,

for that intellectual look.

You know, you're
Not too far off.

Listen, maybe we could
Meet sometime after work.

- how about tonight.
- what?

- how about drinks and dinner?
- well, uh...

I'll pick you up at the station.

Uh... Well, uh...
Uh, fine, fine.

- my last newscast is at...
- I know.

see you then. Bye!

Oh! Bye!

Ooh! I wonder
What she looks like.

Hey, les, she's probably
Some gorgeous blonde

With a distinguished
Little bald spot right here.

♪ baby, if you've
Ever wondered ♪

♪ wondered whatever
Became of me ♪

♪ I'm livin' on the
Air in cincinnati ♪

♪ cincinnati, wkrp ♪

♪ got kind of tired of
Packin' and unpackin' ♪

♪ town to town, up
And down the dial ♪

♪ maybe you and me
Were never meant to be ♪

♪ just maybe think
Of me once in a while ♪

♪ I'm at wkrp in cincinnati ♪

No, les. The reason people
Don't like you is twofold.

- now, firstly...
- hello, les.

- oh, hi, bailey.
- I, uh, understand

You had an obscene
Phone call this morning.

- yeah.
- what?

- a lady called me, herb.
- uh-uh.

A fan called... An ardent fan.

It seems that she
Has a thing for les.

- get out of town.
- you get out of town.

Hey, les, keep on truckin'.

Thank you. I'll do my best.

Hey, killer. Understand you've
Got a hot date tonight, huh?

Yeah.

Well, just watch out, now.

Sometimes these listeners
Can get out of hand.

- what do you mean?
- well, uh,

She might want to take off
Your shirt in a public place.

Yeah!

I wouldn't allow that, venus.

Hate mail, most of it for herb.

Hey, gorgeous, get this:

A lady listener has
The hots for les.

Is that a little weird or what?

Just one lady listener?

Of course just one.

- that does sound
A little weird.
- yeah.

It is just one, right, les?

I understand, but you
Play that song again,

I'm gonna cut your hands off.

Hiya, guys. Hey, hey, hey!

Les nessman, you devil, you.

I understand you've been burning
Up the airwaves for the ladies, huh?

Well, travis, if you've
Got it, you've got it.

Les, listen, you mind
A little advice from,

Oh, let's say someone
Who's been down that road

More than a few times?

- no, I suppose not.
- john?

Thanks, 'trap. Uh...

Les, see, the thing is that, uh,

A lot of these ladies sound
Real good on the phone,

But, uh, you get 'em
In a well-lit room,

And, uh... dawn of the dead!

You know, that's true, lester.

Some of these girls
Got a screw loose.

Back when I was on the air
In amarillo, I got hooked up

With a lady that wanted
To wear my clothes.

- you know, a funny thing
Happened to me once...
- just be careful, all right?

This isn't something seedy and
Disgusting like andy's girlfriends.

Seems, uh, that I was

In gary, indiana, picking out a
New suit, and this lady wore...

Les, just be careful about getting
Mixed up with phone groupies.

Maybe she's not a groupie, andy.

Maybe she's a fine,
Intelligent, sensitive woman.

Yeah, well, just watch it.

People on the air make
Convenient targets.

- targets for what?
- for all kinds of things.

Like a paternity suit.

Oh, paternity suit?

Me? Gosh!

It's not as much
Fun as it sounds, les.

Anyhow, this'll kill you.

I was in that store looking
Around for some new suits,

And this lady walks
Up to me, and she says...

What the hell did she say?

Phil?

Phil?

Oh, good. He must be sleeping.

You can come in now.

Do you have a roommate?

Oh, no, not exactly.
Roommates share things.

Phil doesn't like to share.

Then you should
Politely ask him to leave.

I'm afraid it's not that easy.

Please just make
Yourself comfortable.

I'll be ready in
Just one second.

Darlene?

Now, wait a minute,
Les. We just met.

Uh, I'm pretty liberal-minded

About what consenting
Adults do, but...

I'm fine, fine. Just wait here.

I'll be back in just one second.

It'll just take me a minute.

Phil is my pet dog.

Oh.

Woman: mr. Nessman, I
Warned you about the noise!

All right! That's mrs. Nedelman.

She's my next-door neighbor.

She's hated phil ever since

Her cats began disappearing.

I see.

Well...

- I have to get up early.
- I beg your pardon?

I have to be leaving soon.

Oh, can't you stay
For just a little while?

Okay.

Uh... Um...

W-would you like
To hear a record?

Okay.

Anything in particular?

No.

Oh, good.

This one's my favorite.

Oh, would you care
For a soft drink

Or maybe a glass of whiskey?

No, thanks.

Oh, good.

♪ chances are ♪

♪ 'cause I wear a silly grin ♪

This is a cozy little
Apartment, les.

There's so much
You could do with it.

Oh, you really think so?

- oh, no.
- mrs. Nedelman: turn down
That racket over there!

All right, all right!

What's the matter
With her, anyway?

Shh. Keep your voice down.

She doesn't like for
Me to have lady guests.

It must be terrible to have

Such an awful landlady
Living right next door.

She's not my landlady,
She's my tenant.

I own this duplex.

Rather than put an old lady

Or even a dog out in the street,

You just take it.

What a man you are, les nessman.

Thank you, darlene.

I'm having a wonderful time.

So far.

Thank you.

You really know how
To entertain a lady.

Yeah!

The planetarium is always fun.

First I went out
To see the stars;

Now I can touch a star.

I love it when you do the news.

Do some news for me.

I-I don't have my tear sheets.

Make something up.

Well...

Today in philadelphia,
Thousands...

Would you like to look
At my buckeye news things?

- later.
- later?

In the morning.

Mrs. Nedelman: make
Some noise over there!

♪ the chances are ♪

♪ your chances... ♪

I was in gary, indiana,
Picking out a suit, you see,

- and this lady walks...
- good morning.

- travis.
- where's les?

How are we supposed to
Have a department head meeting

When we're missing
One of the heads?

Well, I know he went out
With his groupie last night.

Maybe he got lucky.

Les nessman? Make me laugh.

♪ chances are ♪

♪ 'cause I wear a silly grin ♪

♪ the moment you come ♪

♪ into view ♪

Little late, aren't
You, nessman?

♪ chances are ♪

Oh, gee, am I? I didn't notice.

The time must've just
Slipped away from me.

Did you have fun, les?

Yes, andrew, I did.

And I suppose
You're gonna tell us

That you hit the jackpot, right?

Please, herb, I'm not
The sort to kiss and tell.

Kiss what and tell who?

Les has a groupie, big guy.

What's that?

A groupie is a listener

Who likes to do a lot more

Than just listen.

My goodness.

Let's get down to business
Here. What do you say?

Yes, it's pointless
To waste meeting time

Talking about
Something like this.

Besides, I don't even know
If I'll be seeing the girl again.

- why not?
- well, that's just the kind

Of relationship it is, art.

Free-spirited. No strings,

No obligations, no expectations.

You know, I really
Don't understand

How these things happen.

You meet a dame,
Buy her a drink,

And the next thing
You know, there's this...

Look in her eye.

- les, darlene called.
- yeah?

She says she hopes
Last night was,

And I quote, as heavy for you

As it was for her.

And you're out of
Ketchup and tarragon.

- I am?
- mm-hmm.

No problem.

I know where to get that stuff.

Jennifer, excuse me.
Do you have a moment?

- sure.
- herb said I should
Talk to you.

He says you're an expert
At getting rid of people.

Well, certain people.
What's the trouble?

Well, it's... It's darlene.

We've been seeing a lot of
Each other lately, jennifer,

And, well, as a matter of fact,

She's moved in with me.

Why, les, you've only
Known darlene a week.

- I know.
- and she's moved in?

Yes. I could live with the guilt

Of that, I suppose.

I just can't seem
To live with darlene.

I've been kind of suggesting
That maybe she should go home.

Well, what do you say to her?

Well, I say things like,

"Darlene, don't you think
It's time you thought about

Maybe going home now?"

- and then what does she say?
- she starts rearranging
The furniture.

I was gonna have the guys
Over to the house tonight

Just to get her out of the house
For a while, but she says she's staying.

And herb says that
He's got these films

He wants to show that women
Sometimes don't like to see.

And she says she's
Going to stay anyway

Because it's her duty
To help me entertain.

Sounds like she's putting
Down roots, all right.

And phil, my dog, is
Starting to like her.

That's all I need is
For phil to have an ally.

Les, you're gonna have
To be strong about this,

Make yourself very clear.

I know you don't
Want to hurt darlene,

But you must be honest with her.

- what should I say?
- well, you say,

"Darlene, I think we should

Continue to date
But not live together.

Well, she'll say, "That's
Only half a relationship."

And you say, "It's better
Than no relationship at all."

Then she'll say, "What have I
Ever done to you to deserve this?"

- and you say, "Nothing."
- "I cook for you,

I comfort you, I laugh
At your silly, little jokes."

"What do you mean, 'silly'?"

"They're silly. You
Tell silly jokes.

"I do not. I tell clever jokes."

"I do everything I
Can to please you."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, I give and
I give and I give,

And you just take,
You never give."

- "Then why don't
You just leave?"
- "All right, I will, damn you!"

"Good! Get out!"

Oh, that's just perfect,
Jennifer. Perfect.

Thank you.

My pleasure. I enjoyed it.

Phil?

Darlene?

Star light, star bright,

First star I've seen tonight.

Hi, darlene.

I see you've been rearranging
The furniture again.

Oh, I did. How do you like it?

Wonderful.

Looks like star trek.

Thank you, darling.

Give me a big kiss,
Now, lester, dear.

Where's phil?

Oh, he's in the kitchen.
I gave him a chewy.

He's so sweet.

And you should be
Ashamed of yourself.

Mrs. Nedelman is a doll.

I've invited her over for
Lunch sunday after church.

- church?
- she just makes you nervous
Because of that artificial limb.

- are you catholic?
- no.

- hungry?
- darlene, we have got to talk.

I am talking, and I
Just love to talk.

It's gonna hurt me to
Have to say this to you...

Then don't say it. I don't
Want to see you hurt.

Oh, thank you, darlene.

But I want you to
Listen very carefully

To something I have to say.

I think you should just sit
Down and have a long talk...

With jennifer, our receptionist.

She's got some bad news for you.

Where are your friends?

I can't wait to meet that
Dr. Johnny fever in person.

He sounded so nice on the phone.

And that venus flytrap... Oh!

Darlene, I just
Want to be alone.

Then call your friends and
Tell them not to come over.

I can meet them anytime.

Well, darlene, don't
You think we could just

Date each other and not

Try this living together?

Les, that's only
Half a relationship.

Well, couldn't we try just half?

- you don't want that.
- yes, I do.

Les, cancel tonight.

We'll just talk this thing out.

And then maybe,
Just maybe, tonight...

We'll do more than
Just sit up and talk.

Okay.

- I was all set
To see herb's movies.
- yeah, me too.

- coming through. Excuse me.
- hey,

All I want to know is,

When are we gonna get
To use your projector?

- not now, herb.
- hey, man, look out.

Les, these films are borrowed.

- I can't keep them forever.
- I've got a newscast to do.

Hot, les. Real hot stuff.

Not now, herb.

cowgirls in spain.

I can't show a film like
That with darlene around.

Aren't you a little... Whipped?

Why don't you do it
At your place, herb?

- stay out of this, bailey.
- you stay out of this.

Hey...

Hey, les, how's it
Going? How's darlene?

I've got to do a newscast,
Bailey. Excuse me.

Excuse me, gentlemen.
Excuse me, please!

Man, he's touchy.

Touchy... And whipped.

What kind of girl is this
Darlene anyway, huh?

What kind of mean
And deceitful tricks

Is she playing on
Our good friend?

Hello, everybody. This
Is darlene, les's friend.

Oh, hello.

- hi.
- where's les?

- uh, in the studio.
- that's okay. I'll wait.

I enjoy meeting
Famous radio people.

- is one of you
Dr. Johnny fever?
- no, he's gone.

Venus flytrap?

Killed in korea.

That's okay. I'll wait.

Where is les's office?

There.

I've got some great
Wallpaper ideas.

Doesn't that just sort
Of take your breath away?

It sort of takes
Away my will to live.

The first thing I'm gonna have to
Do is get this desk straightened out.

He couldn't possibly find
Anything in this swamp.

Oh, I wouldn't do
That if I were you.

Les doesn't like anyone
Touching his things.

Oh, he'll be all gruff and grumbly
At first, but he really loves it.

Darlene, please
Don't touch anything.

Besides, I'm not just
"People," I'm his fiancee.

- what?
- "Fiancee"

- uh-oh.
- you're les's fiancee?

- mm-hmm.
- uh-huh. Does les
Know about this?

Well,

He hasn't asked me yet,
If that's what you mean.

But... I'm hopeful.

Darlene, maybe
It would be better

If you waited in the lobby
Until les gets off the air.

What's this?

That's les's pig award.

If you value your
Life, you'll put it down

Before he sees you with it.

That's cute.

I suppose that this is
Somebody's idea of a joke,

Putting tape all
Around les's desk.

Actually, that's les's idea.

He put that tape there to show
Where walls would be if he had an office.

- it's something we all respect.
- oh, yeah.

I think it looks silly.
- johnny: uh, I wouldn't...

Wha... Wha... Wha... Wha...

- oh, hi, dear.
- what are you doing
To my office walls?

Oh, never mind, my
Little lester-wester.

You can't come in
Here and do that!

What did I tell you?
Gruff and grumbly.

Darlene...

I want you out of my office!

You're busy. Maybe I'll just
Wait for you out in the lobby.

I want you to keep on going
Through the lobby. Don't stop.

- you don't mean that.
- of course I mean it.

I've been afraid to deal
With you for over a week now

Because I didn't want
To hurt your feelings,

But you don't seem to
Understand that I have feelings!

Oh, good golly!

I am going down to the
Cafeteria now, darlene,

And when I get back,
I want you gone.

And I want you and
Your belongings

Out of my house when
I get home tonight.

I guess that's clear enough.

Well, that's just great.

Who's gonna take care of me?