All language subtitles for UB215

Previously on "ugly betty"...

Charlie, i didn't even know you were in town. Do you remember

How you felt watching me hit on all those women?

That's how i feel every time i see gio around you. I hate that you feel that way.

I just won't see him anymore. Betty! Want a ride?

I'm here to warn you about renee. I don't believe anything you have to say.

Why are you trying to break up me and daniel? Renee, we both know what happens to you

When things get too serious with men.

(renee) this is nothing like stony brook.

I had a breakdown.

I take these. (wilhelmina) good job, marc.

Those pills are all that stand

Between my sister and the nuthouse.

No candles... Ever.

(betty) it's 2:00 in the morning.

That gives us five hours till your next meeting. (daniel) how can you sound so chipper?

We've been up till 2:00 a.m. For the last five nights.

I can barely think. Well, i have to be chipper enough for the both of us.

And besides, past midnight, "mode" pays to send me home

In a town car, which is pretty cool.

Do you know they have free bottles of water? Yes, and a minibar.

Don't touch that. Daniel, i need you sharp at 7:00 a.m. (call waiting beeps)

Oh, hold on. I have another call. Go ahead.

Betty! Ow!

Daniel isn't home yet, and i'm worried. Hi, renee.

Uh, yeah, his meeting went really late,

But i have him on the other line right now. Oh, thank god. Put me through.

I just have to go over his schedule for tomorrow first.

Betty, please. I really need to talk to him.

Okay. All right.

(cell phone beeps)

Daniel, uh, you have renee on the line.

Hey, baby. Hi, sexy.

I'm just lying on the bed... All alone.

Are you wearing those new panties i got you?

Not anymore.

No--oh. Oh.

(beeps)

(speaking spanish)

Women don't really do this, do they?

Yes, they do,

And they're usually wearing bikinis and covered in mud. Really?

Hi, i'm calling from hilda's beautilities

With a glamour opportunity

Or...

A glamour-tunity! A glamour-tunity!

Hello? Hello? (dial tone drones)

How many calls is that? (beeps)

15. I guess people in queens just don't care about beauty.

I need 30 sandwiches before the editorial meeting,

Or people will forget to eat again,

And daniel doesn't want anyone passing out like last year.

Excuse me.

Thank you, gio. You're the best.

No, you are. No, you are.

You are.

Okay, okay, okay. I-i'm hanging up now. Bye.

I barely got any sleep last night. I'm a wreck.

Daniel's been keeping you late every night this week.

Yeah, but i spent half the night dealing with his girlfriend.

So wait, she just calls you in the middle of the night?

No, no, first she calls, then she texts.

It's been going on for, like, a week.

It's definitely getting in the way of my work.

Let's not let your hair get in the way, too, huh?

I can have this hot mess fixed in two minutes.

So what's going on with you and gio?

I heard you guys on the phone.

It's nothing. Uh-huh.

So... Okay, gio and i are friends again. So what?

So... Wasn't henry jealous of you guys?

(sighs) yeah, he is,

But henry doesn't know that i am talking to gio again.

Ooh, drama.

Tell mama hilda everything.

"mama hilda"?

I'm trying it out.

Look, gio is a great guy, and i wanna be his friend,

And i don't wanna upset henry.

I mean, he has been so sweet since charlie showed up.

Yeah, but are you sure hiding things from him--

That's the best thing for your relationship? Yes.

And besides, charlie is leaving for tucson...

??Today! ??

And i want my last four weeks with henry to be stress-free.

Oh, i gotta go. Don't wait up!

All right.

Just got a call-- your first appointment.

Let me see. Let me see.

Is this a joke? This says "gina gambarro."

So i thought you guys made up.

We did... Till we didn't.

I might have called her a skank to a few people.

Well, she is!

Well, apparently she forgives you,

Because she wants a manicure.

Mom, don't we need the business...

Even skanky business?

Oh, daniel. Good morning. Coffee,

Your notes for your advertising meeting,

Rachel zoe got pushed to 11:00,

And if you rush back after lunch,

I'm having curtains put in your office

So you can nap between 2:00 and 2:45,

Right before christian siriano. You scheduled a nap for me?

I need you at your best. Oh, i love you.

I know. (sniffs) mmm. You smell good. Oh, it's viktor & rolf, gift from renee.

You know, she's always doing little things for me. Yeah.

Actually, i've been meaning to talk to you about that.

Renee keeps calling me to schedule fun things

For you two to do together. See? That's what i mean. She's thoughtful.

Yes, but have you taken a look

At how packed your schedule is this week? Did you make that?

Mm. I have a system.

Thing is, she gets mad every time i tell her

That you obviously don't have time

For a cooking class or dinner at lupa.

I know it's a busy week, betty, but i really like this girl.

Can you try and work things out?

Okay. Yeah. Sure.

Thank you.

(cell phone rings)

Ugh.

(beeps)

Hi, renee.

I'm just concerned, dr. Remus.

Renee's behavior this past week has been so erratic.

Is it possible her medication's not working anymore,

Or perhaps she stopped taking her pills?

Well, it's possible, but it would take some--

Well, what symptoms might i look for

To know if she's backsliding? Well, your sister

Has struggled for years with issues of paranoia...

What do you mean he's in a meeting?

Well, who's he meeting with? Is he trying to avoid me? No. Why would you even say that?

Probably coinciding with a rise

In irrational, jealous behavior...

I know you can't tell me if there's somebody else.

You didn't say anything. There is someone, isn't there?

Renee, you didn't even give me a chance to speak.

As well, i'd expect you might encounter severe mood swings...

No, his afternoon cannot be booked up,

Because i scheduled his and her massages for us

Today at bliss. The weekend would be better.

Bliss!

Usually followed by some kind of emotional crash.

Are you... Crying?

(crying) no. No.

I hesitate to even bring this up,

But is there a time we should consider...

Committing my poor sister?

We have a lot of work to do. Oh, that's what that means.

It's funny how you take away

The tiny movements that create wrinkles and suddenly...

(singsongy) poker face. Oh, let's get serious, marc.

Right now we only have one problem--

Dr. Facial hair in there says he won't commit renee

Until she is a danger to herself or others. (normal voice) danger? We don't want to hurt anyone, do we?

Of course not, but the sooner this is over with, the better. Well...

And your future's at stake, too, marc. Mm.

Renee knows about bradford's baby

And could expose our less-than-legal method

Of procuring a donor. Well, i switched the pills about a week ago,

So the crazy train should be arriving

At gare du renee about, well, now. Okay, well, if it doesn't,

I'm gonna have to give her a little push.

Schedule a lunch today with my sister at la brulee...

Consider it lunched. Then go back to my place and keep an eye on christina.

Ugh. But she scares me. She's so cranky all the time. Well, then pamper her.

Let's not forget...

That walking womb is carrying my heir.

Hmm.

Oh, don't pout. You haven't the lips for it.

Mm.

I mean, i know i promised daniel

I would try and get along with her,

But it's gotten worse today.

Renee is driving me nuts.

Hey, just 'cause you promised you'd be nice

Doesn't mean you let renee walk all over you.

Next time she crosses the line, say something.

Oh, uh, well,

It looks like we're all set here with the sandwiches.

Thank you, gio. Bye.

Hi. Uh, hey. Was that gio?

What? Oh, yeah.

He was dropping off sandwiches or something.

Hey, listen, why don't we celebrate tonight?

You and i should find a place to have dinner at.

Betty, i have to tell you something.

It's about charlie.

Can i pretend for one second that it's gonna be good news?

She had a panic attack at the airport,

And her doctor's afraid it might bring on early labor.

He doesn't want her to travel. She's staying here?

Until the baby's born.

Look, i am gonna make this work, i promise.

I get it. It's fine.

Besides, new york city is a great place to be born--

It's very international,

It's got great public transportation.

You know what?

Um, it's getting really busy around here.

I re--i gotta go.

Betty, i'm...

Sorry.

(belinda) ??Cha-ching ?? ??Whoa, whoa ??

??Cha-ching ?? ??Whoa, whoa ??

??Cha-ching ?? ??Whoa, whoa ??

And before you know it,

Bang--he asked me to be mrs. Dr. Goldfarb.

Well, that is quite a story.

And the best part about elopin' on a cruise

Is we were already in canc繳n.

We honeymooned in his time-share.

Mm, that is so great.

And also, you shouldn't feel bad.

Everyone gains weight on a cruise.

You're probably not used to seein' designer clothes.

Roomier is a look ya pay for.

So, gina, what brings you back to the neighborhood?

Just wanted to say hello to all my old friends...

Mm. And i wanted to know how you're doing, of course.

Oh, things are great.

Got my cosmetology license, i'm running my own business.

You are lucky that i could fit you in today.

And i have to say, this place is adorable.

It kind of reminds me of my closet up in mount kisco.

Yeah, well, we did what we could with the space.

It hasn't exactly been the easiest year.

Oh, that's right.

I was so sorry to hear about santos, hilda,

But if i've learned anything,

It's that a higher power has a plan for all of us.

Maybe you're just meant to be alone, and that's okay.

Ow! Oh, sorry.

That's a, um, that's a sensitive part of the nail.

All right. I think we are done here.

You are so good at this.

I think i should come back later and have you do my feet.

Oh, and i could bring larry. It'll be fun.

Ciao.

??It's never enough ??

Um, what do you think you're doing?

Oh, i'm concerned about daniel's posture,

So i found this great alexander technique teacher,

But he can only see him this afternoon, so...

Oh, um, see, daniel's schedule is my job,

So please don't touch his calendar.

Well, he's my boyfriend,

So if i want daniel to do something,

You can't stop me, missy.

Well, he's not available this afternoon.

Sorry.

Yes, he is.

No, he really isn't.

Let go. You let go.

(grunts) give me back my schedule.

(gasps)

What's goin' on?

Daniel, i tried. It's not working.

I know you really like this girl,

But when it comes to this office,

It's her or me.

What the hell was that?

Isn't it obvious? Your assistant is totally in love with you. (laughs)

?芬??

I can't believe it's never occurred to you before--

The way she follows you around, hanging on your every word.

Well, renee, she's my assistant. That's sort of her job, right? It's so sweet how modest you are.

What do you mean?

You exude mystique...

Power...

Sexuality.

Frankly, i'm surprised most women

Don't just tear your clothes off. Well, it's happened.

And how many of them have been your assistants?

But that doesn't mean that betty is actually--

(gasps) doesn't it?

She spends all day around a man

Most women would only dream of having...

(scoffs) going over your schedule, determining where you go...

Which women you can talk to.

No, she does do that--

Look, i'm just saying be careful.

You know, i've seen this sort of thing happen before,

And it can become a problem.

Maybe you should ask yourself,

Is there something you might have said to lead her on?

(daniel) you scheduled a nap for me?

Oh, i love you. I know. (sniffs) mmm, you smell great.

Oh, god.

I am telling you, there is something weird about renee,

And it is not just that she's been getting

In the way of my work. I thought the same thing last week,

And then things went strangely quiet around here.

I think wilhelmina figured out i was snoopin'.

She threw out the baby monitor i was using to listen in. (knock on door)

(singsongy) christina! Time for a decadent foot rub.

(whispers) and marc has been creepily nice ever since.

(normal voice) oh, go away, you wanker! Well, how long does wilhelmina expect you

To be on this leave of absence from "mode," anyway? I'm stuck in here

Until she's sure the baby's safely on the way.

I heard on "the view" that relaxation

Is good for all those baby-makin' hormones.

(whispers) wait a minute.

(coughs, normal voice) m-morning sickness! Oh, oh, oh!

(groaning) okay, i'll check on you later!

All right.

Okay, if you want me to start snooping, i will,

But you have got to get onto daniel.

See what you can find out, okay?

Okay. (cell phone beeps)

It is just like you to choose this place

After everything i went through here.

Whatever are you talking about?

Oh, my.

This was gregory's favorite place, wasn't it?

I just realized that. How utterly tasteless of me.

I'll be leaving now.

No, renee. No, please sit.

I want to apologize for how i've acted.

I only had your best interests at heart.

You see, in the past,

Daniel has cheated on his girlfriends a lot,

Kind of indiscriminately,

But he really seems to have changed for you. You're just saying all of this

Because you want to start a fight with me. Haven't we fought enough, renee?

You're my sister. I care about you. Then why do you want me to think that daniel cheats?

Used to cheat.

So there's really no reason

For you to be worried or jealous.

Well, i'm not worried. And come to think of it,

What better place than this to toast your joyous future

And say good-bye to all those awful memories

Of gregory larson.

Happy birthday.

(wilhelmina's voice) cheat... Gregory... Jealous... Larson.

There must be a mistake.

I-i think you have the wrong table.

No candles. No candles.

(moans)

You are a dear.

(betty) daniel?

I thought it was a little too bright in here

For your nap.

Oh, you don't have to do that. I'm actually, uh, fine.

Oh, don't be silly.

It'll be so much better with the lights off.

Um...

What are you doing?

Just trying to help you relax.

I need you at your best this afternoon.

How about a massage?

Uh, um...

Shh...

Just--just let betty take care of everything.

Uhh...

(sniffs) mmm, you smell so good, daniel,

Like--like muscles and power.

(grunts)

I want you.

No!

I mean, maybe.

Um, what i think daniel is trying to say

Is that he would really like

To see some new, different layout ideas...

Like, um, in an hour?

(men and women speaking indistinctly)

But good job. Thanks.

Did i really just fall asleep in the middle of a meeting?

Yes, but it's fine.

I think they thought it was some sort of power move.

You're probably just exhausted. You just need some rest.

No, no, no! Uh, you don't have to close the shades.

Totally awake. I'm--i'm fine.

Um, okay.

Daniel, now that we're alone...

(gulps)

There's something that i've been meaning to talk to you about.

It's a little personal.

Um... How personal?

It's about... Relationships?

Mm-hmm. Just need a second, okay?

Well, i think we're safe.

The way renee reacted to those candles,

Shouldn't take long.

Best to keep dr. Remus on speed dial.

So sad gucci doesn't make a straitjacket. (laughs)

I get no joy from this, marc.

Well, that's not true.

I get a little joy, but it's tempered with sadness.

Well, you're not the one who's guilty of mur--

(gasps) marc, you really have to be careful

About mentioning renee and the "m" word.

(filtered voice) but since the coast is clear,

Can i just say it once? (filtered voice) fine.

Murder.

Oh, don't forget to change the locks on my armoire,

Just in case.

Did i hear right that you fell asleep in a meeting?

Yeah, but, uh, it was kind of a power move, you know?

Okay, you know how important

This christian siriano meeting is, right?

We're competing with "vogue," "bazaar" and "elle"

To get his designs in the september issue.

He's said he's only doing one. Seriously?

(sighs) so he's kind of a diva.

I need you at your best, daniel. Yeah.

And look at you. You're all linty. Here. I noticed you were linty, too.

Oh, betty, you don't have to-- oh, don't worry about it.

You know i don't mind. So, uh, daniel,

That thing i wanted to ask you about earlier--

It's about renee.

I mean, i don't know much about her, daniel,

Other than she's crazy about you.

What time is that, uh, siriano meeting? Oh, don't worry about it. You've got plenty of time.

But seriously, daniel, i mean,

How much do you really know about her?

You guys have been moving so fast.

Okay. I'm lint-free. Thanks.

Are you okay? Great.

Uh, you know, you never really talk about henry anymore.

How's--how's he doing? Fine, i guess. Uh, i don't get to see him that often,

What with all the work this week.

It's almost like you're my boyfriend now. (laughs)

(laughs nervously)

Oh, hi, christian. Hi, christian.

Amanda, um, what would you do if someone had a crush on you,

And it started to affect your ability to do work?

Oh, my god. I knew it. Someone has a crush on me.

Is it nick pepper?

Because he's been acting really weird

Ever since we made out that one time.

No, not someone with a crush on you.

Som-someone with a crush on me.

Oh. I get it.

Yeah. And i am mostly over you,

But i do have a rule that if i date someone,

I get to think about them in the shower sometimes. I'm talking about betty.

Wait, you think betty has a crush on you?

(gasps) although she is on the rocks

With that hot accountant of hers.

I heard they were fighting this morning.

Wait, they're fighting? Why? Yawn. More baby mama drama.

I guess the girl he got all preg-nasty

Is waitin' around to pop it out,

So now triple chins is into you. What am i gonna do?

Daniel, i will tell you this--

When you're letting someone down,

It helps to be sensitive to their feelings.

You weren't always that way with me.

Oh, amanda, i'm sorry. I-i--

Anyway. I just always thought she'd end up with that guy gio.

He's so pathetically into her,

Always up here delivering her sandwiches.

And give betty enough food,

It's just a matter of time before she falls in love. Thanks, amanda.

What was that about gio and betty?

Nothing. He's just totally in love with her.

Oops.

You could do better.

Wait, this is all about gina gambarro? Oh, you should've seen her

With her designer earrings and her gucci belt.

There wasn't an inch of her that wasn't covered in brand names.

Okay, hilda, please don't tell justin i said this,

But none of this stuff actually means anything.

Ay, look, all i know is that as i'm sitting there

And she's telling me about her great life,

I'm looking around at our little house

And my stupid salon and i'm thinking,

What do i have to show for myself?

So gina married some guy for money.

So what? You have a wonderful son,

A family that loves you.

You should not be jealous of her.

She should be jealous of you. That's what i said.

That's why i'm here-- to make her jealous.

Hilda, this is not healthy.

(sighs) you know, you're one to talk about jealousy,

What with charlie and henry and henry and gio.

Oh, come on. That is totally different.

Oh, that's right. You still won't tell henry

That you're friends with gio because that's healthy.

(cell phone rings)

(mouthing words)

You know what? I have a lot of work to do. Bye.

(beeps) (lowers voice) christina, please tell me you found something.

Betty, wilhelmina was going on

About renee and--and locked drawers,

So i took a knife and i broke in, and now i need you here. Wait, wait. Slow down. What?

Wilhelmina and marc have gone out,

And i need help to go through all these files.

There's just too many of them. Why? What's in there?

Evidence. You see, wilhelmina was talking about renee,

And then she mentioned the "m" word.

(gasps) the "m" word?

Wait, there are a lot of words that start with "m." murder!

(gasps)

(door chimes ring)

Hey, henry. What can i do for you?

You can stay away from betty.

Excuse me?

I only have four weeks left with her.

I don't need to be hearing

That you're always around with some crush.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. "crush"?

I don't know where you're getting that from.

Just stay away from her, got it?

Oh, i see.

You wanna fight.

All right. Well, let's get it over with.

What? Wait. That's not what i meant. It wasn't?

No. 'Cause in my neighborhood,

When a guy says what you just said,

It means he wants a fight.

I'll even let you have the first punch. I'm not gonna hit you.

It'll make you feel better. Go ahead.

Take a swing, like this. Whoa.

Son of a bitch! I'm sorry. Oh, god.

Man, you can hit. I thought you were gonna hit me.

Well, i wasn't. I was just trying to scare you off.

I didn't think you were gonna actually hit me. Yeah, neither did i.

Here. Put that on there.

Sit--sit down.

So what's up, henry?

Are you really mad at me, or...

Is this about something else?

I'm stuck.

I try to be a good boyfriend,

And i end up not being the dad i want to be,

And i try to be a good father, and i end up hurting betty.

I'm just... Scared i'm gonna lose her.

You know, the one thing i don't get is,

If you have four weeks left with her,

Then what the hell are you doing

Wasting your time here with me?

Henry did what to you? (gasps)

(whispers) henry punched gio. Really? Good for him.

(normal voice) well, what did you do to deserve it?

Well, i'm just saying.

But look, gio, i'm really busy.

I can't talk right now. Can i call you back? (cell phone beeps)

Ugh. This is exactly why

I didn't want to tell henry about gio.

I knew something like this would happen. This'll take your mind off it.

Come and see the dirt

That wilhelmina's got on all these people--

Madonna, trent lott, george clooney! Ooh.

Oh, renee's got to be in here somewhere.

Ryan seacrest? I don't know why she's sittin' on that.

Someone should take him down.

What's this? "rhonda slater."

You think maybe they're related?

Rhonda-- that is renee's real name.

Oh, my gosh. Here, here, here.

There's a lot of stuff here.

Hey, look at this.

"stony brook professor dies in fire."

Renee was talking to wilhelmina about stony brook.

"professor greg larson died in a house fire on saturday.

Arson is suspected."

His name is larson, and he died of arson.

Unfortunate.

It's a picture of renee with professor larson.

Ooh. They were lovers. This is gettin' good.

(paper tearing)

Nina, i didn't realize you'd be coming along, too. Well, darling,

The show has me keeping an eye on christian.

Where is he, by the way? Fashionably late? Oh, he loves to make an entrance.

Winning this contest has really gone to his head.

?芬??

The house of siriano has arrived.

Worship me, bitches.

Hi, mr. Siriano. Daniel meade. Mm.

On behalf of "mode," i'd like to say

How fierce it is to have you here.

Oh, okay, but no one uses that word around me. It's over.

Allow me to apologize for my brother. He didn't know.

Hello, ferosha.

You're certainly a hot tranny mess,

Minus the mess, of course. Oh, thanks, i think.

Oh, but this place is a bit boring. Models...

Work it.

?芬??

You know what could give it some drama?

What the hell's going on here, daniel?

Uh, nothing's going on.

We're just kind of in the middle of a meeting here, sweetie.

Yeah, i see this. Are these your whores? What?

Is this your slut? No.

And after everything we've been through,

I will not lose you without a fight.

Actually, that works.

So renee had an affair with her professor.

Here, look. What's this?

Looks like commitment papers.

For a gay wedding. Renee's a lesbian.

(scoffs) christina.

For a mental institution. Look.

(gasps)

"renee slater... Involuntarily hospitalized...

Six years."

Hmm.

(nina) i have never been so... What the hell is the matter with you?

I had to do something to get your attention, daniel.

You have been avoiding me. I have called and called,

But that betty won't let me through. I have been in meetings.

Yeah, with beautiful women. You're surrounded by them. Shh. Shh. Shh.

(lowered voice) i know your history, daniel. (lowered voice) how many times do i have to tell you,

There are no other women?

(cell phone rings)

(ring)

There better not be,

Or i swear to god, i will kill you!

Sometimes there's no other word--

Fierce.

(keypad beeps)

Look, you tried to warn me.

I'm just afraid renee might hurt someone.

Oh, daniel, i'm so relieved you called.

It must have been such a hard decision for you to make.

(lowered voice) call dr. Remus.

I think daniel will help the doctor

Over his commitment issues.

Oh, she was a pyromaniac.

Didn't you say the other day

That she flipped out when you tried to light a candle? I did.

One sister's a pyro, the other one's a psycho--

Real winners in this family, eh? All right. Okay, okay, okay.

So renee has an affair with professor larson,

He dies in a fire,

And then she is hospitalized for being a jealous pyromaniac.

Renee murdered her boyfriend.

Daniel.

Hello, "mode" magazine.

Amanda, it's betty. I need to talk to daniel. Okay, betty.

What is this regarding?

Amanda, quit screwing around. It's betty suarez.

Oh, that is so weird. We have a girl who works here

With, like, the exact same name.

You sound much prettier, though. Look, daniel isn't answering his cell phone.

I know he's supposed to be

In that meeting with christian siriano,

But i really need to talk to him. I think that meeting may have ended.

What? Daniel already went home.

Oh, no. I scheduled him to go home and take a nap.

He probably turned his cell phone off. And he's probably exhausted from that huge fight he had

With his girlfriend in the middle of the meeting.

What fight? Well, everyone's talking about it.

And you know what? I am all for some boyfriend stalking.

I mean, who isn't? But that woman was...

??Crazy ??

(cell phone beeps)

Oh, no. I think renee went off the deep end.

I have to go find daniel.

(kreesha turner's "bounce with me" playing)

Sorry i took so long,

And, gina, i have to apologize for that outfit this morning.

I usually dress down for work.

I don't want to intimidate the clientele.

It's a little flashy for me.

Is it? I have so many clothes like this,

I guess i just don't notice.

Shouldn't we get started?

You can put my pradas anywhere.

??From the front to the back, head noddin' to the track ??

This shoe doesn't look right.

Oh, you know those luxury brands.

Everything's handmade, so it's unique, like a snowflake.

This isn't a snowflake.

It's a snow-fake.

Excuse me?

This is prada.

This is nada.

You are pathetic,

With your fake-ass hair and your fake-ass clothes.

I bet you're not even married.

Oh, i am so married.

He's out parking the 5 series right now.

Then he isn't a doctor. Oh, he's a doctor all right. Look.

That says "chiropractor." that's not even a real doctor.

Sorry i took so long.

It's, uh, hard to find a space around here.

Honey, i want to leave. But i just found a space.

Yeah, why rush off?

You and dr. Chiropractor just got here.

Please?

??I wanna feel the sweat runnin' down my chest ??

I'll do whatever makes you happy.

??Hey-oh, hey-oh, bounce with me ??

??Everybody say... ??

If you get your kicks makin' my wife feel lousy,

Then i'm sorry.

Your life must be pretty sad.

(door shuts)

Renee is, among other things,

A borderline personality.

Without medication, she'll fixate on a person

And become extremely jealous

If she thinks she's losing her hold on them.

That can manifest itself with violence,

Specifically, the setting of fires.

And you're saying

She killed this guy she was seeing--larson.

Well, it's a bit more complicated than that. With my father's intervention,

We were able to get renee the help she needed

And keep the good slater name out of the paper. I'm sorry.

It's just, i can't believe renee would want to kill me. Well, technically you're right.

Renee focuses her anger on a "gatekeeper"--

Someone she thinks is keeping her from her lover.

Yes, yes, distinctions. What's important

Is we get renee back into the asylum where she belongs.

Wait. What--what did you mean,

"trying to keep her from her lover"? Well, in larson's case, renee was convinced

His secretary was in love with him,

So renee started a fire, hoping to trap her.

That larson got caught in it was just bad luck.

As long as she's not worried about another woman,

You're fine.

Oh, my god.

(door creaks)

Hello?

Daniel!

Daniel, it's betty.

The door is open.

Daniel?

(door slams shut)

I wanted to have a special evening with daniel,

But once again, here you are, betty,

Getting in between us...

Just like you've been doing all along.

Daniel's mine, betty...

(clicking lighter) and i'm not gonna let you have him.

Renee, th-this is all a-a terrible misunderstanding.

I see how you look at him,

How you talk to him.

No. No, no. No, i-i talk to him like this,

"hi, daniel. It's betty." see? That's normal.

Then why are you doing everything

To keep him away from me?

You answer his phone.

Betty, you control his appointments.

I'm his assistant.

That is what assistants do.

Ooh.

Aah!

He sleeps with his assistants!

(panting) renee,

I have a boyfriend--

Henry-- who i love very, very much.

Then why are you spending all of your days

And all of your nights at work with my boyfriend?

Uh, maybe because it's, uh, it's a really busy time,

Or, uh, maybe there are some things

That i don't wanna talk to henry about.

So you're lying to him? You're a liar. No. No. Henry is leaving for tucson,

So i don't really want him to know about gio.

Gio? Who's gio? He's this other guy. Henry's a little jealous of him.

He punched him. It's complicated.

So you have two guys. Isn't that enough?

(cell phone rings)

(ring)

(daniel) hello? Daniel, it's betty!

I'm in your apartment. Renee's crazy.

She's trying to kill me! Help me! Hurry!

(daniel) betty.

Betty, are you still there? Are you all right? (cell phone beeps)

She's got betty at my apartment. I hope you know, i prayed

This day would never come, daniel. I don't care what you have to do,

You get us there faster. (tires squeal)

I really hope it doesn't come to this,

But i know some very good people

Who would love to be your assistant...

You know, if we're too late.

I swear to you, i don't want daniel.

And you only think i do,

Because of some weird little jealousy thing

You've got goin' on.

Why shouldn't i be jealous? He's my boyfriend, betty.

Yes. Yes, i understand that.

See--see, my boyfriend--henry--

He got--got his ex-girlfriend pregnant,

So i spend a lot of time being really jealous of charlie.

Charlie? There's another guy? No, no, no. That's a girl.

Stop it! Stop telling me these things.

Aah!

(tinkles)

(tinkles)

(tinkles)

Okay. All right.

Renee,

You don't want to make this worse than it already is.

(crackling)

(breathing heavily)

Renee, the apartment is on fire.

We need to get out of here.

You are not going anywhere.

You will never take daniel away from me, ever again.

(crackling)

I didn't take daniel from you.

You made this all up in your head.

You are so afraid to lose him that you can't see what's real.

I am just his assistant.

Daniel loves you.

What?

He loves you.

You think daniel loves me?

Yes. He loves you.

I-i can--i can see it in his eyes

And the--and the way he talks about you.

Renee, it's what's real.

Daniel loves you.

I don't know what's wrong with me, betty.

Nothing makes sense anymore.

(letter opener clatters)

Come on.

Aah! Aah!

(objects rattling)

It's bolted from the inside.

Oh, be a man, daniel.

(grunts)

(grunt)

(panting)

You don't pay me enough.

(marc) at least everyone made it out.

(siren wailing)

(emergency radio chatter)

Here you go.

I don't know what happened. I'm so sorry, daniel.

I really thought i was getting better.

I never meant to--

I'm sorry, too.

(radio chatter continues)

(mouths words)

Willie, i know this must be hard--

Don't say anything.

We chose our side. It's over.

There, there.

We're gonna get you the help you need.

(siren wailing)

(radio chatter continues)

(betty) she looked so lost afterwards,

And then they just took her away.

That is so sad.

Do you think daniel's gonna be okay?

Forget daniel. Are you okay, mija?

Yes, papi, i'm fine. I keep telling you.

You wait till your daughter

Gets caught in a fire with a crazy lady,

See if you take it this well. Dad, she wasn't crazy.

I mean, yes, she is mentally ill,

But i don't know, i sorta kinda understood her.

Just as long as you are absolutely sure you're okay.

Dad... I am fine.

I'm fine.

Now i have to go to work.

(hilda) what? Daniel didn't give you the day off?

Well, he tried, but i refused.

I really think he's gonna need a friend today.

Betty, wait. Here. It's the stuff i took from "mode."

Oh. Did it work?

Not really.

I mean, i told gina off, and i made her feel bad,

And that was cool, but... You know, she found somebody,

And it seemed like they were really in love.

I wish i had that.

Hilda, you will.

And for what it's worth,

Gina might be in love,

But she's still trash.

Betty... You always know what to say

To make me feel better.

(laughs)

Are you okay?

I don't know.

As long as you're okay.

Daniel...

You know, you're gonna be fine.

You are handsome,

And you're successful and kind.

You'll find someone worthy of you.

I just... I really loved her.

You know, amanda says i need to be more sensitive,

And she's right,

So i'm not gonna talk about this in front of you.

I'm sorry.

Sensitive?

What do you mean?

Well, you know.

Um, no, i don't know.

You mean, 'cause henry's leaving?

Come on, betty.

I know you have a crush on me.

What? Look, it was bound to happen.

We're just gonna have to work through it together.

Yeah. You're right.

I love you.

I've always loved you.

I can't stop thinking about you.

You're making fun of me.

No. No, i mean, i just--

I wish i could be your morning bagel

So i could get caught between your beautiful, beautiful teeth.

(laughs) come on.

You know i love you, but not like that. (laughs)

Oh, there's the guy i do love,

And i need to go talk to him, so can i be excused, please?

(softly) yeah.

(alicia keys) ??Where you can stay forever ??

Betty.

Henry, look, i know about you and gio.

And--and i'm sorry that i didn't just tell you

That we were friends again.

I don't want you to be jealous. I love you.

That's all that matters to me.

Betty, you can be friends with whomever you want.

Really? Of course. I'm just glad you're okay.

??No one, no one ??

??No one ??

??Can get in the way of what i feel for you ??