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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,034 --> 00:00:05,344
Previously on "ugly betty"... Well, that was relaxing.
2
00:00:05,336 --> 00:00:07,636
I didn't mean to hear you and your bodyguard having sex.
3
00:00:07,638 --> 00:00:11,008
Keep your mouth shut and your old man comes home.
4
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:14,651
So lie to daniel? Don't lie. Just don't say anything.
5
00:00:14,645 --> 00:00:17,215
"i'm your husband." bloody hell.
6
00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:20,018
This is my friend. My friend?
7
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:23,250
I don't think he's your friend. I'm his boyfriend. Or should i say "was"?
8
00:00:23,254 --> 00:00:25,234
Cliff, i really screwed up.
9
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I have hundreds of backstabbing, two-faced, superficial friends
10
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That are pouring in from all over the globe
11
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:32,260
To be part of this wedding. Any of them would be thrilled
12
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To be my maid of honor. You only have five months left with henry.
13
00:00:35,136 --> 00:00:38,636
Go. The clock is ticking. Maybe we shouldn't tell dad.
14
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I'm romantic, not crazy.
15
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It was on and off
16
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Faster than lindsay's alcohol detection bracelet,
17
00:00:48,779 --> 00:00:51,279
But love has triumphed as wilhelmina slater marries
18
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Publishing magnate bradford meade this saturday...
19
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Hey, shouldn't you be getting ready for school?
20
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It's the countdown to the brad-elmina wedding.
21
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It's a national holiday.
22
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I don't even think there's mail today. Okay.
23
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,674
(tv continues playing indistinctly)
24
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Betty, breakfast is ready.
25
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I know you haven't had much of an appetite
26
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Since this whole mess with henry,
27
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But i made blueberry pancakes.
28
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No, thanks.
29
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Okay, but if you change your mind...
30
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(grunting)
31
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Breakfast is ready.
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Oh, good. I love blueberry pancakes.
33
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How'd you know i was making blueberry pancakes?
34
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Because you just said so.
35
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Somebody's getting old.
36
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Canadian bacon. Are you having a stroke?
37
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That's the only thing that got betty's appetite back
38
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After joey lawrence was kicked off
39
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That "dancing with the stars."
40
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Maybe that'll do the trick.
41
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(sighs) i gotta get a life.
42
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Ay, dios mão.
43
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(grunting)
44
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Mija?
45
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Okay, what would you say if i told you
46
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I was making your favorite? Canadian b--
47
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Betty?
48
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Aah.
49
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Dad. Hilda.
50
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Oh, man. Was i sleepwalking?
51
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(sighs)
52
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(bells chiming)
53
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No, they were supposed to be dyed aspen summit white.
54
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These are clearly picket fence white,
55
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Thus destroying...
56
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The entire wilhelmina slater wedding palette!
57
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Yeah, well, you better fix it by tomorrow,
58
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Or i swear, as god as my witness,
59
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You'll be selling shoelaces on the subway!
60
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:48,336
You are so hot when you go into head voice.
61
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(laughs) i'm on my last nerve. Here, take these.
62
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The bakery hasn't finished the cake,
63
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I still have to finalize the seating chart,
64
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And wilhelmina said if there's baby's breath
65
00:02:56,847 --> 00:02:58,847
In any of the floral arrangements,
66
00:02:58,849 --> 00:03:00,909
She's gonna sand off my nipples.
67
00:03:00,911 --> 00:03:02,681
Wow, cake and nipples.
68
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I don't know which one to focus on. (laughs)
69
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Okay, i'm on my way to graphics. By the way,
70
00:03:07,518 --> 00:03:09,518
You don't happen to know where my brown blazer is?
71
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,890
Why? I'm wearing it to the wedding.
72
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That corduroy thing that's held together
73
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By cat hair and ketchup stains?
74
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Cliff, this wedding is so fancy, armani is wearing prada.
75
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Come on, i mean, do you really think
76
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That they're gonna be looking at me?
77
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You have rosie o'donnell seated at the same table
78
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As elisabeth hasselbeck.
79
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What? Oh, my god! How did that happen?
80
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Okay, i've got too much to do today.
81
00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:34,923
If you want to wear that jacket, go ahead.
82
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:37,915
Seriously, you'd be okay with it? Yeah, it's who you are,
83
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And the sooner i accept that you're a messy bessy,
84
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The better off we'll be. Thank you.
85
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And i've told you, i prefer sloppy sally. (laughs)
86
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(glass clinks, then shatters)
87
00:03:48,559 --> 00:03:50,559
(bradford) congratulations. Congratulations to you.
88
00:03:50,561 --> 00:03:52,531
Oh, i'm sorry. I didn't realize
89
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,373
We were getting drunk first thing in the morning.
90
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Little tribute to mom? We're celebrating.
91
00:03:57,868 --> 00:03:59,968
I just got off the phone with ad sales.
92
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They are very happy. Oh, i didn't realize you'd heard.
93
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:05,683
Heard? Look at these contracts--
94
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Louis vuitton, cartier, ralph lauren...
95
00:04:07,678 --> 00:04:09,318
Your sister scored big.
96
00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,850
It looks like she might have saved the magazine.
97
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,882
Yeah, um, did you see the contract i landed for us?
98
00:04:13,884 --> 00:04:16,664
Winthrop jewelry. That was mine. Yeah, here it is.
99
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,457
They've taken an 1/8th of a page in march.
100
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An 1/8th of a page? No-- hey, that's great.
101
00:04:20,831 --> 00:04:23,491
An advertiser's an advertiser, right, dad? Yes, every little bit helps.
102
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You know, alexis, your dedication
103
00:04:25,996 --> 00:04:27,796
Pleases me more than you'll ever know.
104
00:04:27,798 --> 00:04:30,598
Now i realize that you have loyalty to your mother,
105
00:04:30,601 --> 00:04:33,541
But would you consider standing up with me
106
00:04:33,544 --> 00:04:35,914
At my wedding tomorrow? Really?
107
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Wait a second. I thought i was your best man.
108
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Who threw your bachelor party last weekend at scores,
109
00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:43,852
Mr. "i need more singles"? Ah, cheyenne.
110
00:04:43,854 --> 00:04:46,724
Is she still there? Oh, she was my favorite.
111
00:04:46,717 --> 00:04:49,317
Does she still do that thing? Oh, yeah.
112
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,960
That's not free, by the way. You know what? Forget this.
113
00:04:51,962 --> 00:04:54,972
You want to make alexis your best man? Fine, do it. Well, why don't you both do it together?
114
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You know what, dad?
115
00:04:56,997 --> 00:05:00,427
Maybe it's better if just daniel stands up. I-- no, no, no, no. Don't worry about me.
116
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He obviously wants you around.
117
00:05:01,972 --> 00:05:05,012
You really shouldn't disappoint dad.
118
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:06,505
It might kill him.
119
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:10,607
And you wouldn't want that, would you, alexis?
120
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:12,881
(man) coverage of the wilhelmina slater wedding
121
00:05:12,883 --> 00:05:14,923
Continues with superstar maid of honor
122
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Victoria beckham... All right with the posing and the waving.
123
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We all know you're strong enough to raise your arm.
124
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She's my maid of honor. This is supposed to be about me.
125
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,433
Pish-tosh, it's posh.
126
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:26,425
The beckhams have conquered america.
127
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Accept it. They're our leaders. So, victoria, how long
128
00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:31,860
Have you and wilhelmina known each other?
129
00:05:31,862 --> 00:05:34,512
Oh, willie and i go way back.
130
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She's practically my second mom. What?
131
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Mum. It's a flower. She thinks of you as a second flower.
132
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It's a british expression.
133
00:05:41,672 --> 00:05:43,672
What are you getting the happy couple
134
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For a wedding present?
135
00:05:44,975 --> 00:05:47,745
Oh, something very special. A gift from the heart.
136
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:50,548
A year's supply of beckham 24/7,
137
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Our new energy drink,
138
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Available at fine stores everywhere.
139
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It's beck-mmm.
140
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Is she hawking her sports drink
141
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In the middle of my wedding interview?
142
00:06:00,891 --> 00:06:03,391
Okay, you're focusing on this way too much.
143
00:06:03,394 --> 00:06:05,904
Let's not forget that you're only getting married
144
00:06:05,896 --> 00:06:07,896
So you can take over meade
145
00:06:07,898 --> 00:06:10,898
And launch your own fashion magazine. Even that's off track.
146
00:06:10,901 --> 00:06:13,671
I can't start my own magazine until we bring down "mode."
147
00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:16,414
Apparently the dynamic duo, danny and the tranny,
148
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Have gone and found some advertisers to save this rag.
149
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,750
Please. "mode" is far from being out of the woods,
150
00:06:21,752 --> 00:06:23,782
And once you take over the whole company,
151
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,924
This magazine will go down
152
00:06:25,916 --> 00:06:28,956
Faster than a crack whore at a prison rodeo.
153
00:06:28,959 --> 00:06:31,959
I don't know what the means, but it sounds nasty.
154
00:06:31,962 --> 00:06:33,962
Oh, it's nasty, miss jackson. (laughs)
155
00:06:33,964 --> 00:06:35,974
(man) does anyone look as fabulous as posh
156
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Feeding ducks in central park?
157
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(ignacio) increãble!
158
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(sighs)
159
00:06:40,431 --> 00:06:41,901
(tv playing indistinctly)
160
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,872
Okay, i'm leaving to work now.
161
00:06:43,874 --> 00:06:46,114
Are you still not talking to me?
162
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:48,776
What more is there to say? You've been sneaking out,
163
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Seeing a boy who got another girl pregnant,
164
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Who's moving across the country in a few months,
165
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And you're foolish enough to think
166
00:06:54,985 --> 00:06:56,985
This is some big romance. Justin, go watch upstairs.
167
00:06:56,987 --> 00:07:00,017
Mom! You see, dad? This is exactly why i didn't tell you.
168
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:03,820
Look, i love henry, okay? I've never felt this way before.
169
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:05,134
Do you hear yourself?
170
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,995
You're talking like some silly 13-year-old girl.
171
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Use your head, betty. He's going to leave,
172
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And you're gonna have your heart broken. Well, that's my--
173
00:07:13,163 --> 00:07:15,843
Can we just calm down, please, and discuss this?
174
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Don't think i've forgotten that you knew about this
175
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The whole time and were covering for her! Okay, i think the important thing here
176
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Is that we focus on betty. You want me to focus on betty? I'll focus on betty.
177
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You're not seeing henry again. Dad, i'm 23 years old. You can't tell me who i can see.
178
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I can if you're living in this house!
179
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Then maybe i shouldn't be living in this house. Betty.
180
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:35,063
Hey, there's the door! Fine!
181
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Papi! Ay!
182
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Why is everyone in this family so freakin' dramatic?
183
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(man) and today mayor bloomberg gave posh
184
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The key to the city...
185
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Where does he get off calling me a silly girl?
186
00:07:45,195 --> 00:07:47,895
Well, he says things. Justin, go watch downstairs.
187
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Who does he think has been holding this family together
188
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,170
Ever since mom died? He's just scared for you.
189
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:55,182
He thinks you're doing something that's a little bit crazy. Well, you know what, hilda?
190
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,175
My entire life, i've been the sensible one.
191
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I never even thought
192
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That i would ever get a chance at real love.
193
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This might be it for me.
194
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Don't i deserve to do something a little crazy just once?
195
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(sighs)
196
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(man) after posh rang the opening bell,
197
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The dow soared to new heights...
198
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Ay, betty, please. Do you have to do this now?
199
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It's his citizenship ceremony on saturday. Yeah, thanks to me.
200
00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:20,028
Betty, wait. Justin--
201
00:08:20,030 --> 00:08:22,730
You know what? If there was ever an argument
202
00:08:22,733 --> 00:08:26,083
For me to have my own tv, this would be it.
203
00:08:26,076 --> 00:08:28,776
(lowered voice) what do you mean, "thanks to you"?
204
00:08:28,779 --> 00:08:31,779
(lowered voice) how do you think dad even got his visa?
205
00:08:31,782 --> 00:08:34,952
The lawyers? No. The i.n.s.? No. It was me.
206
00:08:34,945 --> 00:08:36,945
Wilhelmina's father is a senator,
207
00:08:36,947 --> 00:08:39,247
And let's just say, i totally betrayed daniel
208
00:08:39,249 --> 00:08:42,119
To get her to call in a favor and get dad home.
209
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,832
You did that? And don't you dare tell him.
210
00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:47,595
I don't want him knowing i did anything for him.
211
00:08:47,598 --> 00:08:50,098
Betty!
212
00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:56,110
A™aa™aa™a
213
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,980
(bell dings) look at this.
214
00:09:11,982 --> 00:09:13,982
"classy a-listers, such as donna karan,
215
00:09:13,984 --> 00:09:15,994
"heidi klum and candice bergen
216
00:09:15,986 --> 00:09:17,986
Will be attending the slater-meade wedding."
217
00:09:17,988 --> 00:09:20,988
I'm not even mentioned. I'm fey freakin' sommers' daughter.
218
00:09:20,991 --> 00:09:22,991
I'm as classy as they are.
219
00:09:22,993 --> 00:09:25,973
I've got class comin' out the pooper. That you do, milady.
220
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:28,666
And you are supposed to be my p.r. Bitch.
221
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,669
My 15 minutes are almost up, marc,
222
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,671
And we've done nothing about them.
223
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:35,683
We talked about an amanda doll, maybe a singing career, rehab...
224
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,676
I know these are big dreams, but we've at least got to try.
225
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,979
(wilhelmina) marc! My office! Now! Ugh, look...
226
00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:43,681
Let me just get my oldest married off first,
227
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:46,694
And then it is all about you. Uh, pinkie swear.
228
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:47,987
Well, it better be,
229
00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:50,988
Or i will twist off your nipples with a wrench.
230
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:54,801
Why the sudden interest in my boys?
231
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,165
Excuse me, love.
232
00:09:56,166 --> 00:10:00,226
Can you help a bloke out that's down to his last floggen?
233
00:10:00,230 --> 00:10:04,070
Oh, my god. You talk just like someone i know.
234
00:10:04,074 --> 00:10:06,384
Wait, who is that? (gasps) don't tell me.
235
00:10:06,376 --> 00:10:08,706
Don't tell me...
236
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:10,009
Well, wankle me bum.
237
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,680
I know, right?
238
00:10:11,682 --> 00:10:14,722
And then he tells me that i'm not allowed to see henry
239
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:17,015
As long as i'm living under his roof.
240
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:20,687
So i said, "fine. I won't live under your roof."
241
00:10:20,691 --> 00:10:22,721
(gasps) oh, oh, holy crap!
242
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:25,063
You're telling me. So i was thinking,
243
00:10:25,055 --> 00:10:28,355
Do you think i could crash on your couch-- no, no, quick, this way.
244
00:10:28,358 --> 00:10:30,798
What? Where are you taking me?
245
00:10:30,801 --> 00:10:32,801
On you go. In. Quick, quick. (gasps) what--what is--
246
00:10:32,803 --> 00:10:34,813
Never mind. Ow!
247
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,836
Hello?
248
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,839
Oh, my goodness, what is this place?
249
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:42,141
It's a sex room.
250
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:45,152
Fey sommers had it built for her secret trysts.
251
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,875
Get out of here.
252
00:10:46,877 --> 00:10:49,877
(squeals) shh. I don't want him to hear us.
253
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,080
Who? My husband.
254
00:10:52,082 --> 00:10:55,392
What husband? The one i ran away from in scotland.
255
00:10:55,385 --> 00:10:56,985
He's outside.
256
00:10:56,987 --> 00:10:59,887
You have a secret husband and a secret sex room?
257
00:10:59,890 --> 00:11:01,990
(groans) oh, my god.
258
00:11:01,992 --> 00:11:05,302
You just, like, totally trumped my whole dad thing.
259
00:11:05,295 --> 00:11:07,995
Shh. I haven't seen stuart for five years,
260
00:11:07,998 --> 00:11:10,998
Not since i told him i was going to the pet store
261
00:11:11,001 --> 00:11:13,401
To get dog food and i just... Kept going.
262
00:11:13,403 --> 00:11:16,983
And you have a dog? I don't even know you.
263
00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:19,947
What do you think he wants? I don't know.
264
00:11:19,950 --> 00:11:22,450
Maybe he can't find the remote control.
265
00:11:22,452 --> 00:11:24,962
Well, you can't just hide in here, christina.
266
00:11:24,955 --> 00:11:26,455
He tracked you down.
267
00:11:26,456 --> 00:11:28,916
Aren't you the least bit curious? (whimpers)
268
00:11:28,919 --> 00:11:31,419
All right, everybody, let's give it up.
269
00:11:31,421 --> 00:11:34,061
Here comes the bride in a vera wang original.
270
00:11:34,064 --> 00:11:35,374
I don't do that.
271
00:11:35,365 --> 00:11:38,025
Oh, booty bop? Wilhelmina get out here.
272
00:11:38,028 --> 00:11:40,928
Oh!
273
00:11:40,931 --> 00:11:43,271
Be still, my flaming heart.
274
00:11:43,273 --> 00:11:44,983
Damn, i'm good.
275
00:11:44,975 --> 00:11:46,975
Now, vera, i'm not sure about this train.
276
00:11:46,977 --> 00:11:48,907
Now i was thinking--
277
00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:52,739
This is major.
278
00:11:52,743 --> 00:11:53,783
(applause)
279
00:11:53,784 --> 00:11:56,154
(gasps) oh, my god, it's perfect spice.
280
00:11:56,146 --> 00:11:59,916
I have a new muse.
281
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,950
Hello?
282
00:12:01,952 --> 00:12:02,992
Anybody?
283
00:12:02,993 --> 00:12:05,003
Bride over here.
284
00:12:04,995 --> 00:12:07,055
You really think it's okay? Marc.
285
00:12:07,057 --> 00:12:08,957
Marc.
286
00:12:08,959 --> 00:12:11,029
It's so beyond "okay,"
287
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:14,001
I'm giving you a booty bop.
288
00:12:14,004 --> 00:12:15,344
Marc!
289
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:18,005
I'm sorry, willie, but look at her in that dress.
290
00:12:18,008 --> 00:12:21,308
She made me feel tingly where no girl has ever
291
00:12:21,311 --> 00:12:25,081
Made me feel tingly. (sighs) vicki, darling, i have a thought...
292
00:12:25,075 --> 00:12:27,875
No, not posh. Don't hurt her. Ow! Oh.
293
00:12:27,878 --> 00:12:30,018
You know what, vera? I think we're gonna go
294
00:12:30,020 --> 00:12:32,380
In another direction, so you can leave now.
295
00:12:32,382 --> 00:12:33,482
(sighs)
296
00:12:40,030 --> 00:12:42,890
You're not serious? You're right.
297
00:12:42,893 --> 00:12:45,073
Marc, get her some flats.
298
00:12:51,341 --> 00:12:52,971
Goin' on a trip?
299
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:55,283
My father found out about henry and me.
300
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,275
Things got messy, so i moved out.
301
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,347
And i know you said from the beginning
302
00:12:59,349 --> 00:13:01,449
That it was a mistake, but i would really appreciate it
303
00:13:01,451 --> 00:13:04,451
If you didn't say, "i told you so." betty, who am i to be giving you advice on relationships?
304
00:13:04,454 --> 00:13:06,924
Have you taken a look at my family lately? Don't even talk about family.
305
00:13:06,917 --> 00:13:10,517
Busting my ass for the last year to try to make... I mean, i know that he's trying to protect me...
306
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:13,960
This magazine work. Does he even once say, "nice job"? But he can't just shelter me from the rest of the world.
307
00:13:13,964 --> 00:13:17,004
He'll always see me as this little chubby girl... I'll always be the irresponsible playboy
308
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:19,367
Who blew through his trust fund in a year. Who's gonna get asthma if she runs too fast.
309
00:13:19,369 --> 00:13:22,369
And you know what? I don't care. And the joke is, i still care what he thinks.
310
00:13:22,372 --> 00:13:25,082
I'm not going. What? I'm not going. What?
311
00:13:25,075 --> 00:13:28,135
I'm not going to his wedding. I'm not going to his citizenship ceremony.
312
00:13:28,138 --> 00:13:30,978
Thank you for listening. You, too.
313
00:13:30,981 --> 00:13:32,481
Betty.
314
00:13:32,482 --> 00:13:33,942
Hi.
315
00:13:33,944 --> 00:13:36,994
Hilda called. She told me what happened.
316
00:13:36,987 --> 00:13:38,987
You're not staying with christina.
317
00:13:38,989 --> 00:13:40,949
You're staying with me.
318
00:13:43,994 --> 00:13:47,304
It's been a long time, christina.
319
00:13:47,297 --> 00:13:49,297
Oh, and no rush hurrying back
320
00:13:49,299 --> 00:13:51,999
With that dog food, by the way.
321
00:13:52,002 --> 00:13:54,462
Biscuit died three years ago.
322
00:13:57,307 --> 00:14:00,037
What do you want, stuart?
323
00:14:03,974 --> 00:14:07,024
I want to say i'm sorry.
324
00:14:07,017 --> 00:14:08,317
I know i wasn't
325
00:14:08,318 --> 00:14:11,018
A very good husband, christina.
326
00:14:11,021 --> 00:14:13,321
And you taking off like that was...
327
00:14:13,323 --> 00:14:15,993
Well, it was the kick i needed
328
00:14:15,986 --> 00:14:17,986
To get myself some help.
329
00:14:17,988 --> 00:14:19,988
But part of me getting better
330
00:14:19,990 --> 00:14:25,140
Is making amends to those i hurt,
331
00:14:25,135 --> 00:14:27,265
So here i am.
332
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:29,967
Yeah, i'm sorry i ran out on you.
333
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:31,970
I guess it was just easier
334
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:34,272
To secretly put money aside for two years,
335
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:36,284
Hide in a neighbor's barn,
336
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:38,606
Then wait at the airport for four days
337
00:14:38,608 --> 00:14:41,048
For a standby ticket to new york
338
00:14:41,051 --> 00:14:43,351
Than it was to speak to my husband.
339
00:14:43,353 --> 00:14:45,393
I hear that.
340
00:14:47,357 --> 00:14:50,087
So do you think we can ever be friends again?
341
00:15:01,031 --> 00:15:02,331
(blinds rattle)
342
00:15:02,332 --> 00:15:04,332
After we get you unpacked,
343
00:15:04,334 --> 00:15:06,344
We can go get some chinese food.
344
00:15:06,336 --> 00:15:08,036
There's this really great--
345
00:15:08,038 --> 00:15:09,338
Betty? Come in.
346
00:15:09,339 --> 00:15:11,339
You've been in my apartment before.
347
00:15:11,341 --> 00:15:13,341
Oh, here's your key.
348
00:15:13,343 --> 00:15:16,353
Oh, uh, i don't need a key. You have to have a key.
349
00:15:16,346 --> 00:15:19,346
But does this mean--i mean-- i mean, what does it mean?
350
00:15:19,349 --> 00:15:22,049
It means you can open the door.
351
00:15:22,052 --> 00:15:23,352
Oh, and here...
352
00:15:23,353 --> 00:15:26,063
And this empty drawer means you can unpack.
353
00:15:26,056 --> 00:15:28,056
And that glass over there
354
00:15:28,058 --> 00:15:30,358
Means you can have a glass of water.
355
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,000
Okay, uh, great.
356
00:15:33,003 --> 00:15:36,013
Uh, yeah, cool.
357
00:15:36,006 --> 00:15:37,006
Great.
358
00:15:37,007 --> 00:15:38,967
Why are you being so weird?
359
00:15:38,969 --> 00:15:40,969
I don't know, it just--
360
00:15:40,971 --> 00:15:42,471
This feels different.
361
00:15:42,472 --> 00:15:44,982
I think it feels nice. And, you know,
362
00:15:44,975 --> 00:15:47,975
The good part of all this stuff going on with your family
363
00:15:47,978 --> 00:15:50,278
Is we don't have to hide anymore.
364
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,620
We can be a real couple.
365
00:15:52,622 --> 00:15:54,622
Yeah, we can plan things.
366
00:15:54,624 --> 00:15:56,064
Yeah, like christmas.
367
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:58,556
Oh, where do you put the christmas tree?
368
00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:00,158
Right here. There?
369
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,530
Yeah. Really?
370
00:16:01,531 --> 00:16:04,031
Wouldn't it be so much better over here on this wall?
371
00:16:04,034 --> 00:16:07,044
Yeah, but the radiator's over there.
372
00:16:07,037 --> 00:16:09,037
Over here, it's in the window.
373
00:16:09,039 --> 00:16:11,169
Everyone can see it. But it blocks the window.
374
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:13,641
If it was here-- yeah, you know what? Forget christmas.
375
00:16:13,643 --> 00:16:16,183
Valentine's day. Oh, why don't we go back
376
00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:18,476
To that sushi restaurant where we had our first date? It's a pinkberry now.
377
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,678
Oh, even better. I hate sushi.
378
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,410
Oh, um, this could be really fun--
379
00:16:23,413 --> 00:16:26,163
I heard hall & oates are gonna be in town... In april.
380
00:16:26,156 --> 00:16:28,616
Oh. What?
381
00:16:28,618 --> 00:16:30,158
Uh, april.
382
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,520
Uh, oh. Oh, god. Uh, that's right.
383
00:16:32,522 --> 00:16:34,162
That was stupid.
384
00:16:34,164 --> 00:16:36,674
Forget i said it. Erase awkward moment.
385
00:16:36,666 --> 00:16:40,466
Um, no, i totally knew that you'd be back in tucson by then.
386
00:16:40,470 --> 00:16:43,470
I just... I'm just gonna go and unpack my toothbrush
387
00:16:43,473 --> 00:16:45,483
And my stuff in the bathroom.
388
00:16:45,475 --> 00:16:48,475
Um, i'll be right back.
389
00:16:51,341 --> 00:16:53,181
Betty, that's the closet.
390
00:16:53,183 --> 00:16:57,023
Oh, yeah, i know. I just, uh, need a minute.
391
00:17:27,177 --> 00:17:29,177
You know, it's bad luck
392
00:17:29,179 --> 00:17:32,779
To see the bride on her wedding day.
393
00:17:32,782 --> 00:17:34,782
Not for the bodyguard.
394
00:17:34,784 --> 00:17:37,294
So you think you might need some protection
395
00:17:37,287 --> 00:17:38,787
On your honeymoon?
396
00:17:38,788 --> 00:17:44,328
Mm, dwayne, sweet, horny dwayne...
397
00:17:44,334 --> 00:17:45,674
Beat it.
398
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:49,835
Mama's weave can't get sweaty on her big day.
399
00:17:49,839 --> 00:17:52,339
Can i at least take a shower?
400
00:17:52,342 --> 00:17:55,212
(sighs) don't use the good shampoo.
401
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,077
This is room 1220.
402
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,078
I'd like my breakfast, please.
403
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,750
(woman) yes, ms. Slater.
404
00:18:03,753 --> 00:18:07,523
Last night victoria beckham set gotham ablaze.
405
00:18:07,517 --> 00:18:10,357
Posh wore her maid of honor gown
406
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,260
For a night on the town.
407
00:18:12,262 --> 00:18:14,362
Once again, vicki b. Has stolen the spotlight
408
00:18:14,364 --> 00:18:16,834
From wilhelmina, begging the question,
409
00:18:16,826 --> 00:18:18,866
Whose big day is it?
410
00:18:24,334 --> 00:18:26,344
Okay, do i wear the flag tie,
411
00:18:26,336 --> 00:18:29,336
The flag pin or both?
412
00:18:29,339 --> 00:18:32,609
If you wear a flag tie, i'm leaving the country.
413
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,182
Pin it is.
414
00:18:34,184 --> 00:18:36,154
Unbelievable.
415
00:18:36,146 --> 00:18:38,516
One of the biggest days of my life,
416
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,748
And she doesn't even call. Ay, papi.
417
00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:43,650
You know betty loves you. She doesn't act like it.
418
00:18:43,653 --> 00:18:45,633
She lied and disrespected me,
419
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:48,625
And all i wanted to do was protect her.
420
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,828
All she's thinking about is herself.
421
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,700
Okay, dã©jalo, dã©jalo.
422
00:18:52,702 --> 00:18:56,872
Listen, you have no idea what betty's done for you.
423
00:18:56,866 --> 00:18:59,506
Hilda, what are you talking about?
424
00:19:04,714 --> 00:19:08,854
I love that you've got a sex room.
425
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,518
You've really made it.
426
00:19:11,521 --> 00:19:17,531
Well, technically, it's not really mine,
427
00:19:17,527 --> 00:19:19,527
But it was convenient, wasn't it?
428
00:19:19,529 --> 00:19:21,189
(both laugh)
429
00:19:21,191 --> 00:19:24,431
So was it, um, as good as you remember?
430
00:19:24,434 --> 00:19:28,204
Well, you didn't pass out drunk midway through,
431
00:19:28,198 --> 00:19:31,898
So i suppose it was a mild improvement.
432
00:19:31,901 --> 00:19:34,701
I missed you, christina.
433
00:19:34,704 --> 00:19:36,884
Didn't think i'd missed you.
434
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:38,376
But you did?
435
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:40,708
(whispers) a wee bit.
436
00:19:45,855 --> 00:19:48,385
I'm gonna use the loo.
437
00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:51,358
(normal voice) do you know what? What?
438
00:19:51,361 --> 00:19:53,361
I'd forgotten about good stuart.
439
00:19:53,363 --> 00:19:55,373
Oh, good stuart was always there.
440
00:19:55,365 --> 00:19:58,665
He was just... A little lost
441
00:19:58,668 --> 00:20:00,928
And a lot pissed.
442
00:20:00,930 --> 00:20:02,930
Well, just you remember--
443
00:20:02,932 --> 00:20:05,442
Good stuart remembers to put the toilet seat down
444
00:20:05,435 --> 00:20:07,435
When he's finished.
445
00:20:07,437 --> 00:20:08,937
Right.
446
00:20:21,851 --> 00:20:25,561
(whispers) bad, bad stuart.
447
00:20:28,998 --> 00:20:31,858
(cell phone buzzes)
448
00:20:31,861 --> 00:20:34,461
(buzz)
449
00:20:34,464 --> 00:20:37,544
(buzz)
450
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:40,507
(buzz)
451
00:20:40,510 --> 00:20:41,910
(buzz)
452
00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:01,029
Oh, you're awake.
453
00:21:01,030 --> 00:21:02,860
Good morning.
454
00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:05,572
(muffled voice) i was gonna sneak out
455
00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:07,865
And brush my teeth before you woke up.
456
00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:10,837
What? No, don't be silly.
457
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:13,940
You should be comfortable with who you are.
458
00:21:13,943 --> 00:21:17,853
So listen, i am never in manhattan on a saturday. Yeah?
459
00:21:17,847 --> 00:21:20,347
And there's that brunch place on bank street
460
00:21:20,350 --> 00:21:22,850
That has the cute little baby ducks on the awning,
461
00:21:22,852 --> 00:21:25,862
And i have no idea what they serve, but the ducks are cute.
462
00:21:25,855 --> 00:21:28,755
(normal voice) betty, they serve baby duck.
463
00:21:28,758 --> 00:21:29,758
What?
464
00:21:29,759 --> 00:21:32,389
(laughing) you're so easy.
465
00:21:32,392 --> 00:21:33,962
Shut up.
466
00:21:33,963 --> 00:21:35,973
So i was thinking... Yeah.
467
00:21:35,965 --> 00:21:37,665
After breakfast,
468
00:21:37,667 --> 00:21:43,767
You and i could go on a little adventure.
469
00:21:43,773 --> 00:21:46,543
Ta-da. New york transit museum?
470
00:21:46,536 --> 00:21:50,536
Mm-hmm. Well, i know what a fan you are of the subway system,
471
00:21:50,540 --> 00:21:53,010
And there was that freaky third rail experience you had.
472
00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:55,012
Well, my glasses were foggy,
473
00:21:55,014 --> 00:21:57,854
But i do think i saw my nana down there. Yeah, probably.
474
00:21:57,847 --> 00:22:00,347
Anyway, i thought it would be fun. Yeah.
475
00:22:00,350 --> 00:22:02,690
What? What--what-- what's with the face?
476
00:22:02,692 --> 00:22:05,702
You don't wanna go? No, no, of course i do. Who wouldn't?
477
00:22:05,695 --> 00:22:06,925
It's just...
478
00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:08,926
Don't you think you should go
479
00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:11,428
To your dad's citizenship ceremony?
480
00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:13,561
No. Henry, no.
481
00:22:13,563 --> 00:22:16,573
I-i made a decision, and today is about us,
482
00:22:16,566 --> 00:22:19,836
And i wanna do something crazy and fun.
483
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:24,039
New york transit museum it is.
484
00:22:24,043 --> 00:22:26,053
(man) and we'll be back with a ticker tape parade...
485
00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:27,745
(knock on door)
486
00:22:27,747 --> 00:22:30,047
In honor of victoria beckham.
487
00:22:33,983 --> 00:22:37,133
Oh, i thought you were room service.
488
00:22:37,126 --> 00:22:38,986
I want to talk to my father.
489
00:22:38,988 --> 00:22:41,388
Bradford's suite is on the tenth floor.
490
00:22:41,391 --> 00:22:43,561
Separate rooms the night before the wedding.
491
00:22:43,563 --> 00:22:45,743
You know what an old-fashioned girl i am.
492
00:22:45,735 --> 00:22:48,035
That must be what he sees in you.
493
00:22:48,037 --> 00:22:51,397
I want you to give these to him.
494
00:22:51,401 --> 00:22:53,541
I won't be attending the wedding.
495
00:22:53,543 --> 00:22:55,043
Oh, what a shame.
496
00:22:55,044 --> 00:22:57,054
I guess i'll have to do
497
00:22:57,046 --> 00:22:58,906
Our mother-son dance with alexis.
498
00:22:58,908 --> 00:23:01,878
(toilet flushes)
499
00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:04,051
Who is that?
500
00:23:04,053 --> 00:23:05,923
Posh.
501
00:23:05,915 --> 00:23:10,155
Spice girl can't handle spicy foods. Go figure.
502
00:23:10,159 --> 00:23:13,919
I'll make sure bradford gets these. Bye.
503
00:23:17,667 --> 00:23:19,697
Later, willie.
504
00:23:37,747 --> 00:23:38,887
(elevator bell dings)
505
00:23:38,888 --> 00:23:40,888
(laughs) come on, i-i know i have that coupon
506
00:23:40,890 --> 00:23:42,890
For the transit museum somewhere in my desk.
507
00:23:42,892 --> 00:23:45,602
You know, i really don't mind paying the extra 10 bucks.
508
00:23:45,595 --> 00:23:47,595
I know, but you get
509
00:23:47,597 --> 00:23:49,597
This free subway map shower curtain with it,
510
00:23:49,599 --> 00:23:51,429
And hilda could really use that
511
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:53,760
Because she still has trouble with the "a" line,
512
00:23:53,763 --> 00:23:55,943
And there's just no reason for her to end up
513
00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:58,735
At the bronx zoo as often as she does.
514
00:23:58,738 --> 00:24:00,738
Who's in wilhelmina's office?
515
00:24:05,545 --> 00:24:06,915
Daniel?
516
00:24:06,916 --> 00:24:09,876
(thud) (groans)
517
00:24:09,879 --> 00:24:11,879
Oh, betty, henry, hi.
518
00:24:14,053 --> 00:24:16,893
Booze and pills weren't enough? (needle hits floor)
519
00:24:16,886 --> 00:24:19,556
I see you've graduated. I can explain--
520
00:24:19,559 --> 00:24:22,589
No, don't bother. I have had enough of your excuses.
521
00:24:22,592 --> 00:24:24,892
I was so stupid to actually think--
522
00:24:24,894 --> 00:24:27,244
I'm sick.
523
00:24:27,236 --> 00:24:30,136
It's my liver.
524
00:24:30,139 --> 00:24:33,069
All the drinking finally did me in.
525
00:24:34,904 --> 00:24:40,584
That medication's just a band-aid.
526
00:24:40,580 --> 00:24:44,580
So what exactly are we talking about here?
527
00:24:44,584 --> 00:24:47,964
$100,000 for an experimental treatment.
528
00:24:47,957 --> 00:24:50,257
That's the reason i'm in new york.
529
00:24:50,259 --> 00:24:54,019
And how are you gonna get that money?
530
00:24:56,125 --> 00:24:57,895
I'm not.
531
00:24:57,897 --> 00:25:00,927
Good news is that in six months time,
532
00:25:00,930 --> 00:25:03,900
You will be inheriting my mom's spoon collection.
533
00:25:03,903 --> 00:25:06,983
Oh, stuart.
534
00:25:06,976 --> 00:25:08,976
I have always wanted that spoon collection...
535
00:25:08,978 --> 00:25:10,938
(chuckles)
536
00:25:10,940 --> 00:25:12,980
(crying)
537
00:25:12,982 --> 00:25:14,982
Just not like this.
538
00:25:19,118 --> 00:25:20,918
Stay in new york.
539
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:22,620
Why?
540
00:25:22,622 --> 00:25:23,922
I don't know how,
541
00:25:23,923 --> 00:25:28,763
But i'm--i'm gonna get you the money, okay?
542
00:25:28,758 --> 00:25:30,228
(whispers) yeah.
543
00:25:40,239 --> 00:25:43,239
(chuckles)
544
00:25:45,945 --> 00:25:48,945
(computer beeps)
545
00:26:04,063 --> 00:26:06,143
And then i see her bodyguard leaving her room.
546
00:26:06,135 --> 00:26:08,135
What else could it be, right?
547
00:26:08,137 --> 00:26:10,967
Um, yeah, i mean, that sounds suspicious.
548
00:26:10,970 --> 00:26:14,140
Did you hear anyone say anything at all? Do you know if--
549
00:26:14,143 --> 00:26:16,983
No, no i don't. I don't know anything.
550
00:26:16,976 --> 00:26:19,976
But, daniel, if--if you think that this is true,
551
00:26:19,979 --> 00:26:22,679
Then you should go to your father and tell him
552
00:26:22,682 --> 00:26:25,152
Before he marries that woman. He knows how i feel about wilhelmina.
553
00:26:25,154 --> 00:26:28,164
I can't go to him without any proof. I just wish there was something i could do.
554
00:26:28,157 --> 00:26:30,717
Ah, don't worry about it, betty. It's not your problem.
555
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,320
Although, i think i am gonna go to his wedding.
556
00:26:33,322 --> 00:26:36,172
Maybe i can get something out of the bodyguard.
557
00:26:36,165 --> 00:26:38,095
Good idea. Yeah.
558
00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:40,897
Because that guy seems like a big dummy.
559
00:26:40,900 --> 00:26:44,170
The other day he said something was a mute point. (scoffs)
560
00:26:44,173 --> 00:26:46,243
That was me.
561
00:26:46,235 --> 00:26:49,005
"moot," "mute"-- i get it now.
562
00:26:49,008 --> 00:26:50,978
Oh... Well, he's dumb, too.
563
00:26:53,082 --> 00:26:55,212
I'm not making this better.
564
00:26:58,047 --> 00:27:00,117
(paul mccartney and stevie wonder's
565
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:03,089
"ebony and ivory" playing)
566
00:27:03,092 --> 00:27:04,822
A™a ebony...a™a
567
00:27:04,824 --> 00:27:06,134
Hi, i'm amanda sommers.
568
00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:07,825
I'm fey sommers' daughter.
569
00:27:07,827 --> 00:27:09,827
Oh, hi there. Hello.
570
00:27:09,829 --> 00:27:11,129
I'm amanda sommers.
571
00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:13,130
I am fey sommers' daughter.
572
00:27:13,132 --> 00:27:16,142
Oh, hi. (lowered voice) being a celebrity is so hard.
573
00:27:16,135 --> 00:27:18,135
Everyone just wants a piece of you.
574
00:27:18,137 --> 00:27:21,007
Yeah, how about that? Hey, have you seen cliff yet?
575
00:27:21,010 --> 00:27:22,310
(normal voice) don't worry.
576
00:27:22,311 --> 00:27:24,971
Your wide load lover will be here any minute.
577
00:27:24,974 --> 00:27:26,984
(groans) amanda, no jokes. I'm freaking out.
578
00:27:26,976 --> 00:27:28,976
I'm debuting him today as my boyfriend,
579
00:27:28,978 --> 00:27:31,278
And i have no idea what's gonna walk though that door.
580
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:32,280
Sweetie, relax.
581
00:27:32,281 --> 00:27:34,281
He can't fit through those doors.
582
00:27:34,283 --> 00:27:35,793
Stop it.
583
00:27:35,785 --> 00:27:37,825
(gasps) whoa.
584
00:27:37,827 --> 00:27:39,827
(hot chocolate) a™a i believe in miracles... A™a
585
00:27:39,829 --> 00:27:44,429
Trans-fatty... More than meets the eye.
586
00:27:44,433 --> 00:27:47,003
Aw, look at my boyfriend.
587
00:27:46,996 --> 00:27:48,996
Who knew there were hardwood floors
588
00:27:48,998 --> 00:27:50,298
Under that shag rug?
589
00:27:50,299 --> 00:27:52,439
Hardwood floors!
590
00:27:52,441 --> 00:27:54,071
(chuckles) that's my boyfriend.
591
00:27:54,073 --> 00:27:57,013
That's my boyfriend. Hardwood floors.
592
00:27:57,006 --> 00:27:58,976
(sighs) hey.
593
00:27:58,978 --> 00:28:00,808
So... (chuckles)
594
00:28:00,810 --> 00:28:02,150
What do you think?
595
00:28:02,151 --> 00:28:03,811
I can't believe you did this.
596
00:28:03,813 --> 00:28:06,693
I knew what a big deal it was to you, meeting your friends.
597
00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:09,115
Yeah. I didn't want to be a jerk.
598
00:28:09,118 --> 00:28:11,958
(chuckles) so how does it feel?
599
00:28:11,961 --> 00:28:13,961
I'm sweating, my collar's too tight...
600
00:28:13,963 --> 00:28:16,473
(clenched teeth) and these shoes really hurt.
601
00:28:16,465 --> 00:28:20,425
Beauty is pain, cliff... And you are hurting me bad.
602
00:28:22,802 --> 00:28:24,102
Betty, we can go
603
00:28:24,103 --> 00:28:26,113
To the transit museum another time.
604
00:28:26,105 --> 00:28:27,805
Today you're going
605
00:28:27,807 --> 00:28:29,807
To your father's citizenship ceremony.
606
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:32,740
Betty.
607
00:28:32,742 --> 00:28:34,812
I already told you that i didn't want
608
00:28:34,814 --> 00:28:36,824
To be anywhere near here, henry.
609
00:28:36,816 --> 00:28:38,986
Why would you do this? Because you're pretending
610
00:28:38,988 --> 00:28:40,888
You can live without your family, betty,
611
00:28:40,890 --> 00:28:42,190
But it's just an act.
612
00:28:42,191 --> 00:28:44,821
I've seen you guys together. You're like this...
613
00:28:44,824 --> 00:28:46,064
And when i leave,
614
00:28:46,055 --> 00:28:49,225
They're gonna be the ones who are here for you.
615
00:28:58,067 --> 00:29:01,367
(church bells ringing)
616
00:29:01,370 --> 00:29:03,040
(gasps)
617
00:29:03,042 --> 00:29:06,252
Rich old guy. Hot!
618
00:29:06,245 --> 00:29:08,245
(amanda gasps) ew!
619
00:29:08,247 --> 00:29:09,747
Okay, this is weird,
620
00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:12,118
But has cliff been talking to that guy
621
00:29:12,121 --> 00:29:14,121
For kind of a long time?
622
00:29:14,123 --> 00:29:17,133
Is he sucking on that lamb chop a little... Seductively?
623
00:29:17,126 --> 00:29:19,326
Seductively or disgustingly?
624
00:29:19,328 --> 00:29:22,528
Hey. Hi. Come here.
625
00:29:22,531 --> 00:29:24,231
(both gasp)
626
00:29:24,233 --> 00:29:27,073
Oh, he did not just give me the "one minute" finger.
627
00:29:27,066 --> 00:29:30,936
Ooh, denied.
628
00:29:30,940 --> 00:29:31,940
Oh.
629
00:29:31,941 --> 00:29:33,771
(gasps)
630
00:29:33,772 --> 00:29:35,952
(all) i hereby declare an oath
631
00:29:35,945 --> 00:29:37,945
That i absolutely and entirely
632
00:29:37,947 --> 00:29:39,247
Renounce and abjure
633
00:29:39,248 --> 00:29:42,778
All allegiance and fidelity
634
00:29:42,781 --> 00:29:46,261
To any foreign prince, state or sovereignty,
635
00:29:46,255 --> 00:29:49,255
Of whom or which i have heretofore
636
00:29:49,258 --> 00:29:51,788
Been a subject or citizen...
637
00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:54,190
Gwyneth's wearing white to the wedding?
638
00:29:54,193 --> 00:29:56,503
That is such a bitch slap.
639
00:29:56,495 --> 00:30:01,065
That i will support and defend the constitution and laws
640
00:30:01,070 --> 00:30:03,530
Of the united states of america
641
00:30:03,532 --> 00:30:07,342
Against all enemies, foreign and domestic,
642
00:30:07,336 --> 00:30:11,206
That i will bear true faith and allegiance to the same.
643
00:30:16,285 --> 00:30:17,285
(cork pops)
644
00:30:17,286 --> 00:30:18,286
Hello.
645
00:30:18,287 --> 00:30:20,287
Oh, hey, marc, this is tony.
646
00:30:20,289 --> 00:30:21,289
Don't care.
647
00:30:21,290 --> 00:30:23,590
That was rude. So is tramping it up
648
00:30:23,592 --> 00:30:26,202
With that "hot ten years ago" cater waiter
649
00:30:26,195 --> 00:30:29,495
With clearly waxed eyebrows. I knew they were waxed. He swears that he was born
650
00:30:29,498 --> 00:30:32,428
With the perfect joan crawford arch. Oh, please, not even joan--
651
00:30:32,431 --> 00:30:35,361
Wait a minute. I'm angry! About what?
652
00:30:35,364 --> 00:30:38,444
Duh. Tony's a model i've worked with. We're just friends.
653
00:30:38,437 --> 00:30:40,307
Oh, please. We're gay.
654
00:30:40,309 --> 00:30:42,569
There's no such thing as just friends. (laughs) he's straight.
655
00:30:42,571 --> 00:30:44,941
Uh, uh, a straight model.
656
00:30:44,944 --> 00:30:48,454
Well, i guess the world is upside down. What is wrong with you? You're acting like a baby.
657
00:30:48,447 --> 00:30:50,377
A baby abandoned in a dumpster
658
00:30:50,379 --> 00:30:52,549
While mommy explores her newfound hotness.
659
00:30:52,551 --> 00:30:55,151
Well, i've had it. Can we--
660
00:30:55,154 --> 00:30:57,464
No mã¡s. This thing between us is over.
661
00:30:57,456 --> 00:30:59,156
(man) say "cheese."
662
00:30:59,158 --> 00:31:00,158
Hi. (laughs)
663
00:31:00,159 --> 00:31:01,429
(camera shutter clicks)
664
00:31:01,430 --> 00:31:03,430
Can...
665
00:31:03,432 --> 00:31:06,442
(instrumental jazz music playing)
666
00:31:09,268 --> 00:31:10,638
(sighs)
667
00:31:13,973 --> 00:31:15,983
So, d-dawg, what's up?
668
00:31:15,975 --> 00:31:18,305
It's daniel meade. We met.
669
00:31:18,307 --> 00:31:20,607
Bodyguard, huh? That's an interesting line of work.
670
00:31:20,609 --> 00:31:23,179
You must get a lot of action.
671
00:31:23,182 --> 00:31:25,512
Big, strong, good-looking guy like you...
672
00:31:25,514 --> 00:31:28,164
You hittin' on me? No. No, no, no.
673
00:31:28,157 --> 00:31:30,587
No. No, this is about you and wilhelmina.
674
00:31:30,589 --> 00:31:32,519
I just need a few answers.
675
00:31:32,521 --> 00:31:36,301
I've got a blank check for some information about...
676
00:31:36,295 --> 00:31:39,195
My checkbook. Oh, damn it.
677
00:31:39,198 --> 00:31:42,198
I left it on the dresser. I could see it right there.
678
00:31:42,201 --> 00:31:43,431
(door opens)
679
00:31:43,432 --> 00:31:45,032
Well, well, well.
680
00:31:45,034 --> 00:31:48,144
I thought i heard a meeting of the minds. Game over, wilhelmina.
681
00:31:48,137 --> 00:31:51,377
Dwayne just told me everything about you two.
682
00:31:51,380 --> 00:31:52,680
Mm, nice try, daniel.
683
00:31:52,681 --> 00:31:55,311
There's nothing going on between dwayne and i.
684
00:31:55,314 --> 00:31:58,024
But for argument's sake, let's say i was enjoying
685
00:31:58,017 --> 00:32:02,047
The pleasure of this tall glass of chocolate milk.
686
00:32:02,051 --> 00:32:04,391
I would think you'd run straight to your father,
687
00:32:04,393 --> 00:32:08,303
But oh, wait, you can't, and do you know why you can't?
688
00:32:08,297 --> 00:32:10,357
He has no proof. Dwayne.
689
00:32:10,359 --> 00:32:13,299
I was building up to that.
690
00:32:13,302 --> 00:32:15,932
But he's right. You have no proof.
691
00:32:15,934 --> 00:32:19,714
I will see you at the altar.
692
00:32:19,708 --> 00:32:21,708
(snaps)
693
00:32:23,442 --> 00:32:25,982
(sighs)
694
00:32:25,975 --> 00:32:29,375
(door closes)
695
00:32:29,378 --> 00:32:31,378
Can you believe him?
696
00:32:31,380 --> 00:32:33,680
Suddenly he's the hottest guy in the room,
697
00:32:33,682 --> 00:32:35,682
And... (scoffs) i'm not good enough.
698
00:32:35,684 --> 00:32:37,694
Marc, i got to be honest with you.
699
00:32:37,686 --> 00:32:39,686
I do like his new suit.
700
00:32:39,688 --> 00:32:41,688
But seriously, he's only 15% hotter.
701
00:32:41,690 --> 00:32:44,690
Oh, really? Then why is every waiter serving him food?
702
00:32:44,693 --> 00:32:47,403
Why is every bartender pouring him drinks?
703
00:32:47,396 --> 00:32:49,396
Oh, my god, it's happened.
704
00:32:49,398 --> 00:32:51,398
You're looking past the outside
705
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:53,400
And seeing what's on the inside.
706
00:32:53,402 --> 00:32:54,702
You're falling for him.
707
00:32:54,703 --> 00:32:57,153
You're falling for an average man.
708
00:32:57,146 --> 00:32:59,276
Oh, god. I am.
709
00:32:59,278 --> 00:33:01,278
I'm an average-man lover.
710
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:04,310
(pants) what do i do?
711
00:33:04,313 --> 00:33:05,613
You accept it.
712
00:33:05,614 --> 00:33:07,624
You are deeper than you think.
713
00:33:07,616 --> 00:33:08,616
(groans)
714
00:33:08,617 --> 00:33:10,617
It's okay. We all have flaws.
715
00:33:10,619 --> 00:33:12,989
But i-i broke up with him.
716
00:33:12,991 --> 00:33:14,991
Then you get out there,
717
00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:17,003
And you do something dramatic
718
00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:18,995
To show that fatty how much you care.
719
00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:20,997
Like, you run through the airport,
720
00:33:20,999 --> 00:33:22,999
And you bust through security,
721
00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:25,301
And just as the doors of the plane are closing,
722
00:33:25,304 --> 00:33:29,014
You scream at the top of your lungs, "cliff!"
723
00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:30,307
You calling me?
724
00:33:30,309 --> 00:33:32,009
(gasps)
725
00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:35,010
Or you just go over there and talk to him.
726
00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:37,023
(gulps)
727
00:33:45,194 --> 00:33:48,034
(indistinct conversations)
728
00:33:48,026 --> 00:33:50,326
(sighs) i'm sorry i said those things.
729
00:33:50,329 --> 00:33:53,329
And i'm sorry that i didn't tell you about me and henry.
730
00:33:53,332 --> 00:33:56,412
It's just... Dad, you're right.
731
00:33:56,405 --> 00:33:58,405
I'm doing something really stupid.
732
00:33:58,407 --> 00:34:02,637
And you're gonna keep doing it, right?
733
00:34:02,641 --> 00:34:04,811
Yeah.
734
00:34:04,813 --> 00:34:07,423
And when he leaves, i'm gonna fall apart.
735
00:34:07,416 --> 00:34:10,316
And i want you to promise me you'll be here to pick me up.
736
00:34:10,319 --> 00:34:12,349
I'm your father.
737
00:34:12,351 --> 00:34:14,351
Where else am i gonna be?
738
00:34:19,658 --> 00:34:21,358
You're still crying?
739
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,790
Yeah, first he became a citizen,
740
00:34:23,792 --> 00:34:27,202
And now betty...
741
00:34:27,196 --> 00:34:29,196
Just watch your tv.
742
00:34:31,370 --> 00:34:35,340
So this does mean you're coming back home, right?
743
00:34:35,344 --> 00:34:36,354
Yes.
744
00:34:36,345 --> 00:34:39,505
Hilda told me what you did to make this happen.
745
00:34:39,508 --> 00:34:43,178
Hilda sucks at secrets. Daniel's done so much for you, betty.
746
00:34:43,182 --> 00:34:45,382
You can't betray a friend for me.
747
00:34:45,384 --> 00:34:47,694
Dad, if i tell daniel about wilhelmina,
748
00:34:47,686 --> 00:34:50,386
She'll try and do something to mess up your citizenship.
749
00:34:50,389 --> 00:34:52,819
I'm an american now.
750
00:34:52,821 --> 00:34:54,521
Let her try.
751
00:34:56,495 --> 00:34:59,195
All right, people. Let's get this over with.
752
00:34:59,198 --> 00:35:01,468
I mean, let's get me married off
753
00:35:01,470 --> 00:35:04,170
To the most wonderful man in the whole world.
754
00:35:04,173 --> 00:35:06,483
Actually, ms. Slater, there's just one problem.
755
00:35:06,475 --> 00:35:08,175
Your maid of honor...
756
00:35:08,177 --> 00:35:10,177
We can't find her anywhere.
757
00:35:10,179 --> 00:35:11,479
Oh, posh flaked?
758
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:13,180
Oh, darn.
759
00:35:13,182 --> 00:35:16,192
Well, i guess we'll have to go ahead without her.
760
00:35:16,185 --> 00:35:18,485
Poor thing, i hope she's all right.
761
00:35:18,487 --> 00:35:21,187
All right, people. Focus on the joy.
762
00:35:21,190 --> 00:35:23,450
Flowers!
763
00:35:23,452 --> 00:35:25,152
(knock on door)
764
00:35:25,154 --> 00:35:26,164
(victoria) hello?
765
00:35:26,155 --> 00:35:27,455
(bangs on door)
766
00:35:27,456 --> 00:35:30,596
Anybody out there?
767
00:35:30,599 --> 00:35:35,199
I think the door's locked!
768
00:35:35,204 --> 00:35:37,214
This really is major.
769
00:35:37,206 --> 00:35:40,206
(wagner's "bridal chorus from 'lohengrin'" playing)
770
00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:52,879
(camera shutters clicking)
771
00:35:52,881 --> 00:35:57,231
(people speaking indistinctly)
772
00:35:57,226 --> 00:36:01,256
(music continues)
773
00:36:01,260 --> 00:36:06,440
(guests murmuring)
774
00:36:06,435 --> 00:36:10,265
(music continues)
775
00:36:19,278 --> 00:36:20,578
Dear friends,
776
00:36:20,579 --> 00:36:23,179
We are gathered here today
777
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:26,321
To join in holy matrimony
778
00:36:26,315 --> 00:36:30,315
Wilhelmina slater and bradford meade.
779
00:36:30,319 --> 00:36:32,519
I object! (guests gasp)
780
00:36:32,521 --> 00:36:37,201
(camera shutters clicking)
781
00:36:37,195 --> 00:36:39,325
We haven't gotten to that part yet.
782
00:36:39,328 --> 00:36:42,298
Oh.
783
00:36:51,810 --> 00:36:54,340
Oh, i knew it.
784
00:36:54,343 --> 00:36:56,553
I knew wilhelmina was sleeping with her bodyguard.
785
00:36:56,545 --> 00:36:59,985
When did you find out? Daniel, it's not really important. Just go in there
786
00:36:59,988 --> 00:37:02,788
And talk to your father and stop the wedding! No, no, no, i need more details.
787
00:37:02,791 --> 00:37:05,451
I mean, you're my only proof.
788
00:37:05,454 --> 00:37:08,764
So did you find out on your own? Did someone tell you? I saw them.
789
00:37:08,757 --> 00:37:10,527
Wait, what? When?
790
00:37:10,529 --> 00:37:13,529
Um, four months ago when i went to wilhelmina's apartment
791
00:37:13,532 --> 00:37:16,912
To get the book. Four months ago and you waited till now to tell me?
792
00:37:16,905 --> 00:37:18,905
No, daniel, it's not what it sounds like.
793
00:37:18,907 --> 00:37:21,367
It's very complicated-- no. It's not complicated.
794
00:37:21,370 --> 00:37:24,370
Betty, you know i've been trying to find a way
795
00:37:24,373 --> 00:37:27,283
To open my father's eyes about this woman. But she was using me--
796
00:37:27,276 --> 00:37:29,376
I don't want to hear your excuses.
797
00:37:29,378 --> 00:37:31,378
Betty, you're the one person
798
00:37:31,380 --> 00:37:34,450
I always counted on being on my side,
799
00:37:34,453 --> 00:37:36,533
And you betrayed me. For wilhelmina?
800
00:37:36,525 --> 00:37:39,425
How could i ever trust you again?
801
00:37:39,428 --> 00:37:41,928
Daniel, please-- just stop.
802
00:37:41,930 --> 00:37:44,360
I can't even look at you.
803
00:37:50,799 --> 00:37:52,799
You're fired.
804
00:37:58,407 --> 00:38:01,677
Do you, bradford emerson meade,
805
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:04,380
Take this woman, wilhelmina--
806
00:38:04,383 --> 00:38:05,983
(daniel clears throat)
807
00:38:05,984 --> 00:38:09,664
Sorry. Do you-- do you need something?
808
00:38:09,658 --> 00:38:12,518
I really need to speak with you.
809
00:38:12,521 --> 00:38:16,021
Yes, just as soon as he takes me as his lawfully wedded wife.
810
00:38:16,024 --> 00:38:17,574
Let's go, bradford.
811
00:38:17,566 --> 00:38:19,896
Really, dad. It's important.
812
00:38:22,531 --> 00:38:23,831
Just give me a moment.
813
00:38:25,374 --> 00:38:27,384
Well, i'll just go ahead
814
00:38:27,376 --> 00:38:29,676
And do my part while you're gone.
815
00:38:29,678 --> 00:38:31,638
I do.
816
00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:33,340
Oh, no. I-i'm sorry.
817
00:38:33,342 --> 00:38:35,342
It really doesn't work that way.
818
00:38:40,389 --> 00:38:42,789
(whispers) do something.
819
00:38:42,791 --> 00:38:43,951
(whispers) oh.
820
00:38:43,952 --> 00:38:45,952
(normal voice) um, ladies and gentlemen,
821
00:38:45,954 --> 00:38:48,564
While we wait for the ceremony to resume,
822
00:38:48,557 --> 00:38:51,727
Perhaps a song from our own amanda sommers,
823
00:38:51,730 --> 00:38:54,560
Daughter of the late, great fey sommers. (amanda whispers) what?
824
00:38:54,563 --> 00:38:57,073
(lowered voice) your 15 minutes are almost up.
825
00:38:57,065 --> 00:38:59,465
Quincy jones is in the fourth row.
826
00:38:59,468 --> 00:39:01,568
Now sing, bitch.
827
00:39:01,570 --> 00:39:04,640
(guests murmuring)
828
00:39:04,643 --> 00:39:08,683
A™a la, la, la, la, la a™a
829
00:39:09,878 --> 00:39:10,918
(mouthing words)
830
00:39:10,919 --> 00:39:13,349
A™a wind it up a™a
831
00:39:13,351 --> 00:39:17,561
A™a my... Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard a™a
832
00:39:17,556 --> 00:39:20,386
A™a and they're like, it's better than yours a™a
833
00:39:20,389 --> 00:39:22,889
A™a damn right... A™a you would say anything
834
00:39:22,891 --> 00:39:24,891
To try to poison this relationship, wouldn't you?
835
00:39:24,893 --> 00:39:26,903
I've got to admit, i admire your tenacity.
836
00:39:26,895 --> 00:39:28,895
Look, i am not making this up.
837
00:39:28,897 --> 00:39:30,397
Betty saw them together!
838
00:39:30,399 --> 00:39:32,499
Oh, really?
839
00:39:32,501 --> 00:39:35,471
Then how come betty's not here telling me this? She... She's gone.
840
00:39:35,474 --> 00:39:37,484
How convenient. You're unbelievable.
841
00:39:37,476 --> 00:39:39,746
I am the only one willing to be honest with you.
842
00:39:39,748 --> 00:39:42,878
Will you at least consider the possibility--
843
00:39:42,881 --> 00:39:44,881
I am not gonna throw away something
844
00:39:44,883 --> 00:39:47,663
Based on some crazy accusation made by some assistant.
845
00:39:47,656 --> 00:39:49,156
Look at you.
846
00:39:49,157 --> 00:39:51,457
You're sweating, dad.
847
00:39:51,460 --> 00:39:55,690
Maybe it's because deep inside, you know this is wrong.
848
00:39:55,694 --> 00:39:57,704
I'm sweating because you are driving
849
00:39:57,696 --> 00:39:59,896
My blood pressure up by the minute.
850
00:39:59,898 --> 00:40:02,028
That woman doesn't love you at all!
851
00:40:02,030 --> 00:40:04,170
Get out of my way.
852
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:14,080
A™a damn right, it's better than yours a™a
853
00:40:14,082 --> 00:40:15,942
A™a i can teach you, but i'd have to charge a™a
854
00:40:15,944 --> 00:40:18,154
A™a bring it a™a
855
00:40:18,146 --> 00:40:19,816
A™a make it nasty... A™a (guests) whoo!
856
00:40:19,818 --> 00:40:22,718
A™a my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard a™a
857
00:40:22,721 --> 00:40:25,891
A™a and they're like, it's better than yours a™a
858
00:40:25,894 --> 00:40:27,904
A™a damn right, it's better than yours a™a
859
00:40:27,896 --> 00:40:29,196
A™a i can teach you a™a
860
00:40:29,197 --> 00:40:31,827
(falsetto voice) a™a but i'd have to charge a™a (clapping)
861
00:40:31,830 --> 00:40:35,560
Everything all right? Yeah, fine. Please, continue.
862
00:40:35,564 --> 00:40:38,774
(man clears throat) do you, bradford emerson meade,
863
00:40:38,767 --> 00:40:41,137
Take this woman, wilhelmina vivian slater...
864
00:40:41,139 --> 00:40:43,469
(heart beating)
865
00:40:43,472 --> 00:40:45,112
(voice distorts) as your lawful wedded wife
866
00:40:45,113 --> 00:40:47,083
To have and to hold
867
00:40:47,075 --> 00:40:49,475
From this day forward
868
00:40:49,478 --> 00:40:51,548
In sickness and in health
869
00:40:51,550 --> 00:40:53,880
For richer or for poorer...
870
00:40:53,882 --> 00:40:55,152
(heart beating faster)
871
00:40:55,153 --> 00:40:57,033
In good times and in bad...
872
00:40:57,025 --> 00:40:58,825
(heartbeat pounding)
873
00:40:58,827 --> 00:41:01,457
For as long as you both shall live?
874
00:41:01,459 --> 00:41:05,529
(church bells ring)
875
00:41:05,534 --> 00:41:07,504
Oh, my god! Dad!
876
00:41:07,496 --> 00:41:09,236
(wilhelmina) bradford!
877
00:41:09,237 --> 00:41:10,537
Someone call 9-1-1.
878
00:41:10,539 --> 00:41:12,499
(murmuring)
879
00:41:12,501 --> 00:41:15,171
(daniel) come on, dad.
880
00:41:15,173 --> 00:41:16,683
Don't you die!
881
00:41:16,675 --> 00:41:20,045
Don't you dare die!
882
00:41:20,048 --> 00:41:21,778
Wilhelmina!
883
00:41:21,780 --> 00:41:25,850
Come on, dad, breathe.
884
00:41:25,854 --> 00:41:27,864
(jeff buckley's "hallelujah" playing)
885
00:41:27,856 --> 00:41:29,856
One one thousand. Two one thousand.
886
00:41:29,858 --> 00:41:31,858
Three one thousand. Four one thousand.
887
00:41:31,860 --> 00:41:33,860
Five one thousand. Come on, dad.
888
00:41:33,862 --> 00:41:37,002
A™a well, i heard there was a secret chord a™a
889
00:41:36,995 --> 00:41:40,565
A™a that david played and it pleased the lord a™a
890
00:41:40,569 --> 00:41:46,069
A™a but you don't really care for music, do you? A™a
891
00:41:46,074 --> 00:41:49,914
A™a hallelujah a™a
892
00:41:49,908 --> 00:41:53,778
A™a hallelujah a™a
893
00:41:53,782 --> 00:41:57,722
A™a hallelujah a™a
894
00:41:57,716 --> 00:42:04,846
A™a hallelujah a™a
895
00:42:04,853 --> 00:42:07,803
A™a hallelujah a™a
896
00:42:07,796 --> 00:42:16,566
A™a hallelujah a™a
66375