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1
00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:06,474
[ Soft music plays ]
2
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:08,042
We're gathered here today
3
00:00:08,076 --> 00:00:13,247
to witness the holy union of
Jess kato and Todd hinkle.
4
00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:15,149
I can't believe
this is actually happening.
5
00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,517
I can.
6
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,186
It's all I've ever wanted.
7
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:22,556
Todd has chosen to recite his
vows in Jess' native language.
8
00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:25,093
Babe, you learned Japanese
for me?!
9
00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:28,362
[ Speaking Japanese ]
10
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:30,364
Oh, my god!
11
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:34,302
[ Singing in Japanese ]
12
00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:07,301
Arigato.
13
00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:09,470
I love you so much.
14
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,672
And now the rings.
15
00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,578
My god, babe!
16
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,213
It's so beautiful.
Is that...
17
00:01:19,247 --> 00:01:20,448
My callaway.
[ Gasps ]
18
00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:23,317
I melted it down
and forged this ring.
19
00:01:23,351 --> 00:01:26,554
After all,
it's just a golf club.
20
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:29,657
That's what I said!
21
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,659
Todd...
22
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:35,663
Do you take this woman to be
your lawfully wedded wife?
23
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,898
Abso-lutely.
24
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,333
Yes!
Forever?
25
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,335
Like, you're 100% sure?
26
00:01:41,369 --> 00:01:42,836
Of course.
27
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,405
It's been seven years.
28
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,740
I think I'd know
after seven years.
29
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:50,010
[ Laughter ]
30
00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:55,516
Then I can now pronounce you
Mr. and Mrs. Todd kato.
31
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,418
[ Mendelssohn's
"wedding march" plays ]
32
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:58,952
[ Cheering ]
33
00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:04,558
[ Sniffing ]
34
00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:10,097
[ Farting ]
[ Sniffing ]
35
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,634
Ohh! Oh!
36
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:14,868
Todd!
37
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:16,480
What?
What, what, what, what, what?!
Todd!
38
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:19,607
Oh, Jesus! Ew!
Who beefed in here?
39
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,810
Oh, Jess, go outside
if you have to fart.
40
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:23,877
Todd!
41
00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:25,145
What are we doing?
42
00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:27,548
Well, i was trying to sleep.
43
00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:28,849
No, Todd, I'm serious.
44
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,518
We've been together
for seven years.
45
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:32,653
Do you want to build a life
with me or not?
46
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:35,965
Do I really have to answer this
right now?
47
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,458
Oh, my god!
48
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,859
I'm sleeping outside!
49
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,894
Jess, come on!
It's the middle of the night.
50
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:43,163
I get sleepy brain.
You know that.
51
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:44,965
Jess!
52
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,967
Jess! Come on!
53
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,237
Bugs out here!
54
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:50,304
Jess?!
55
00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:52,306
**
56
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,907
Holy hell.
57
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,909
Why is the water so high?
58
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:57,177
The pile!
59
00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:59,347
Guys!
60
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,415
Guys!
61
00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:03,251
The stuff!
62
00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:06,220
All the chips... so many chips!
63
00:03:06,254 --> 00:03:07,355
Hurry!
64
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:09,790
The tide is gonna take...
65
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:14,862
all the stuff.
66
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,166
Yep.
67
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,668
Yep, looks like the tide got
68
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,603
the community pile
during the night.
69
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,204
The ocean can be a fickle bitch.
70
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:25,573
Wait, so all the airline food
71
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:27,040
and sun block
and first-aid stuff...
72
00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:28,376
It's all just gone?
73
00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:29,753
The only thing left
are those two bags,
74
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,612
and they're both
completely empty.
75
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,623
And I haven't been able to catch
any boar in a couple of days.
76
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:35,683
Damn it!
Whose genius idea was it
77
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:38,286
to put all of our
stuff next to the water?
78
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,896
Well, at this point,
does it even matter?
79
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:40,954
It was turdhole's.
80
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:42,423
Oh, come on, Karen!
81
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:44,091
I didn't want the jungle bugs
to get in.
82
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:46,093
You shitting me, turdhole?!
83
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:47,261
I should kill you.
84
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,297
Oh!
85
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,399
I'm so tired of this island.
86
00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:52,866
Pack...
87
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:55,636
Think of it as
your sacrifice to the ocean.
88
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:59,640
Enjoy those peanut butter-filled
pretzels, mother gaia.
89
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:00,941
Are you high right now?
90
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:02,343
A little bit, yeah.
91
00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:05,212
Hey, Jess,
i need to talk to you.
92
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,480
What do you want, Todd?
93
00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:08,115
Meet me in the tent in 10,
please.
94
00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:10,117
[ Sighs ]
95
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,654
Owen: Okay.
96
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:16,557
Relax. You can do this.
97
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,158
Deep breath.
98
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:21,629
[ Gerry Rafferty's
"Baker street" plays ]
99
00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:28,235
[ Music stops ]
Owen, hurry up,
i got to go!
100
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,737
I'm going, okay?
101
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:32,340
[ Sighs ] Okay.
[ Breathes deeply ]
102
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:33,841
You're in a safe place.
103
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:37,745
You're in a beautiful
marble bathroom.
104
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,279
What do you got?
What do you got here?
105
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:42,350
There's a big... big old roll of
double-ply right there.
106
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:43,584
Okay. Here we go.
107
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,019
[ Music resumes ]
108
00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:49,366
[ Music stops ]
Other people have to
use the shit hole...
109
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:51,291
Diane, I am going!
110
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:53,427
One second!
111
00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:55,329
Whew.
112
00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:56,530
[ Song resumes ]
113
00:04:56,564 --> 00:04:58,532
Nobody's here. Nobody's here.
114
00:04:58,566 --> 00:05:02,370
You are all alone.
115
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:05,005
Owen, it has been half an hour!
116
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,340
Don't look at me!
117
00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:09,209
What do you want, Todd?
118
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,046
Oh, my god!
119
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:14,281
Jess?
120
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,483
Babe?
121
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,718
Will you...
122
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:20,053
Check this shit out!
123
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:21,722
W-what?
124
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:22,990
What... what is this?
125
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,393
It's the community pile.
I saved it,
126
00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:26,794
and now everyone
thinks it's gone.
127
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,563
[ Laughs ]
How rad is that?
128
00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,331
Why do you look so disappointed?
129
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,534
No, no, no. There's, like, a ton
of beef jerky in here.
130
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:35,135
This stuff belongs to everyone,
okay?
131
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,037
No, no, no, no.
They think it's gone.
132
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,539
This is ours now.
133
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:39,807
Jess...
134
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,575
Baby, this is for us.
135
00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:42,976
All right,
remember what you said.
136
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,412
You want to build a life
together.
137
00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:46,179
Well, that's what
I'm trying to do.
138
00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:48,315
And this... this can be...
139
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,183
Our nest egg.
140
00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:53,721
Oh, my god,
you are so unbelievable!
141
00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:55,923
What are you talking about?!
142
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,701
When I said that, Todd,
i wasn't talking about things.
143
00:05:57,725 --> 00:06:00,260
Hey, keep your voice down.
I was talking about
a proposal.
144
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,261
What?!
145
00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:04,432
[ Sighs ]
146
00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:08,736
I thought you were going to
propose to me on this trip.
147
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:11,739
But instead, it was
a "hangover 2" locations tour.
148
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:14,274
You love the wolf pack.
149
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:16,910
When I first met you,
150
00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:18,879
I thought you were
the coolest senior at asu.
151
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,347
I was.
And when we both graduated,
152
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:23,150
I followed you to scottsdale
because we had fun together.
153
00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:26,153
But now...
154
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,789
i need something more.
155
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,458
Okay, Jess, just...
156
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:31,625
Return the stuff
157
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:34,995
or I'll tell everyone
you took it.
158
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,099
[ Clears throat ]
159
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,135
[ Mystical music plays ]
160
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,136
Pack: Chet?
161
00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:44,204
Chet?!
162
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,806
Chet?! Chet?!
163
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:47,307
Oh, hi. Hey, whoa.
164
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:48,809
Hey, little man.
What's up?
165
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:49,977
I'm done with this island.
166
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,312
There's no food. It's all
in the water somewhere.
167
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:55,048
I'm starving.
I'm covered in rashes right now.
168
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:56,322
I don't have my jacket anymore.
169
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:57,918
You want to know why?
170
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,319
That dude's wearing it.
171
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:00,788
Okay, it doesn't even fit him!
172
00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:03,390
And I can't get it back
because he doesn't know English.
173
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,159
So whatever it is
that has you all chill
174
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:08,562
and totally okay with
dying here, I want in.
175
00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:10,397
I want to do your drugs.
176
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:14,267
Buddy, drugs are for expansion,
not escapesion.
177
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:18,305
You do not want drugs.
178
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:21,709
Yes... I... Do.
179
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:25,345
All right.
Great.
180
00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:26,780
But you got to
promise to expand.
181
00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:28,525
Yeah, yeah, I'll open up
my mind, whatever, expansion.
182
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:30,317
Dope, dope, dope, dope.
183
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:31,351
Beautiful.
184
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:32,786
Follow me.
185
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,698
What? Where are we going?
Why can't we do drugs here?
186
00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:37,958
Easy! First I'm gonna take you
on a vision quest, man.
187
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:40,327
We're gonna
explore your unconscious.
188
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:41,862
It's gonna be a lot of fun.
189
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:44,798
I, for one, am very excited
about being inside you.
190
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,900
That's very weird.
Don't say that.
191
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:50,037
Hey, where's my skymall?
192
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,605
I lost it. Okay?
193
00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:53,541
Yeesh!
What's up with you?
194
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:56,644
I don't know, Danny.
Maybe it's that we're starving.
195
00:07:56,677 --> 00:08:00,013
Or maybe that it feels like
a hot fart outside all the time.
196
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:03,016
Owen, come on. It's me.
What's going on?
197
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:13,160
Ever since the crash,
i have not been able to, uh...
198
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,228
To go.
To go?
199
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:16,897
To evacuate.
Evacuate, like the plane?
200
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,566
To go, dude.
I haven't been able to go.
201
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,043
To go? Where do you have to go?
We're on the island.
202
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,134
We're kind of stuck here.
203
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:22,369
To go.
204
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:23,971
Like poop?
Yeah, poop.
205
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,139
Oh. Owen, it's been
like two weeks.
206
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,975
Has it been two weeks?
I think.
207
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,878
Oh, my g...
I know it's been two weeks, man.
208
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:31,845
I'm just...
209
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:34,381
There's people everywhere,
always.
210
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:36,750
And I have to be alone.
211
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:40,387
All right.
Come with me.
212
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:42,556
There's something
i need to show you.
213
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:45,593
[ Sighs ]
214
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,328
Todd?
215
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:51,098
I gave you a chance
to tell them yourself.
216
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:52,966
Fine. Coming in!
217
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,403
Oh, hey.
218
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:57,437
What's happening?
219
00:08:57,470 --> 00:09:00,373
Look, Jess, the truth is,
220
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,910
I was going to propose to you
on this trip.
221
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:04,277
I was just...
222
00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:05,813
Waiting for the perfect moment.
223
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:09,950
But then I realized...
224
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:14,454
That every moment with you
is perfection.
225
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:17,524
Jess...
226
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,960
Will you marry me?
227
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,294
Oh, my god!
228
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:23,697
Babe, yes, of course!
229
00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:25,766
Dope.
230
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:27,801
And you won't tell anyone
about the stuff, right?
231
00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:29,536
What?
232
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,471
Oh, god, Jess.
233
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,473
Look, if I didn't
save this crap,
234
00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:34,975
the tide would have
swept it away.
235
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:38,311
We can't trust those
dodo brains out there.
236
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:40,247
We can only trust each other.
237
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,249
I-i guess, I...
238
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,484
Babe, are we a team?
239
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,519
Or not?
240
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,257
Hell yeah, we are.
241
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,491
Mm-hmm.
Whoo!
242
00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:53,593
Ow!
[ Laughs ]
243
00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:54,828
I knew you'd say yes.
244
00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:57,564
I knew you'd waffle,
and then you'd cave.
245
00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:00,000
Danny, where are you taking me?
246
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:00,901
Shh!
247
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,903
Don't shush!
I am a grown man.
248
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,038
What could be so secret
you shush me?
249
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:08,575
That.
250
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,510
Mother of god.
251
00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:13,747
The center cabin bathroom.
It just landed here?
252
00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:15,749
I found it a few days ago.
253
00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:18,185
Had I known, I would have
told you earlier.
254
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:19,820
I'm a shy pooper myself.
255
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:20,954
Jesus!
256
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:23,023
Have you told anyone
about this?
No.
257
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:25,659
The others, they cannot
find this, Danny.
258
00:10:25,693 --> 00:10:27,260
They're animals.
They're animals, Danny!
259
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,196
They'll tear it apart.
Owen! Owen, Owen...
260
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,531
You're safe here, okay?
261
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:34,467
This will just be
our little secret.
262
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:38,371
Danny, thank you.
263
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:39,707
Thank you.
264
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:42,009
Yeah.
265
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:44,812
[ "Baker street" plays ]
266
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:59,893
[ Farting loudly ]
267
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:02,996
Oh, my god, this is so good.
268
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:05,899
Yeah.
Melty pop-tarts are the best.
269
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:07,067
Mm-hmm.
270
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,703
And anyone who doesn't like
brown sugar-cinnamon...
271
00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:11,671
Can go to hell.
272
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:12,906
I have to admit,
273
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:15,475
it is very nice
having sun block.
274
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,910
Yeah, well...
275
00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:20,313
Maybe your future husband
isn't so selfish after all.
276
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:21,949
Maybe not.
277
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,752
[ Man screams ]
[ Gasps ]
278
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:25,986
What the hell was that?
279
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:26,820
I don't know.
280
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:27,855
All right. Hold on.
281
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:29,422
Go check it out.
Hold on.
282
00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:30,891
Stay here.
283
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,526
[ Grunting ]
284
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,695
[ Crowd yelling ]
285
00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,437
Whoa! Awesome!
286
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,439
What are they fighting over?
287
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:47,775
Airline pretzels.
288
00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,342
They're fighting over
airline pretzels?
289
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:52,212
It's the only food we have left.
290
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:54,214
Finish him!
291
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,284
Oh! Yeah.
292
00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:58,585
Whoa.
293
00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:00,921
Oh, wow.
294
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:04,157
These guys must really
be hungry, then, huh?
295
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:06,970
Is that brown sugar-cinnamon
on your mouth?
296
00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:10,230
What? No, the pop-tarts
washed out to sea.
297
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:11,464
Let me taste it.
298
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:12,766
Taste?
Come on. Let me taste it.
299
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,868
Hey, hey!
Hey, no, no, no!
300
00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:17,004
Get off of me, you pervert!
301
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:21,708
Isn't it glorious, pack?
302
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,643
You know the iroquois nation
303
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:26,446
used to call their land
chimi-chok chok...
304
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:27,881
For "sacred mother."
305
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:30,417
How did they say, "can we do
the drugs now, please?!"
306
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,119
Look around, man!
307
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,620
Get high on this, brother.
308
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,155
Listen to that waterfall.
309
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:36,423
Just trees and bullshit.
310
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:39,159
Just do me a favor.
Open one eye.
311
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,393
Open the other eye.
312
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:41,728
Now see.
313
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,463
Okay?
What else do you need?
314
00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:45,632
What about my Audi?!
Huh?
315
00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:48,936
I just bought
a charcoal-gray Audi.
316
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:54,842
Buddy, it's just rubber and
metal and whistles and glass.
317
00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:56,910
Who cares about your Audi?
Your legs, dude!
318
00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,145
Don't...
All right, don't.
319
00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:00,447
Your legs are flesh audis.
320
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:01,815
Yeah, I'm out of here, man.
321
00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:05,585
Thank you, Chet, for this
enormous waste of time!
322
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,587
I just want to do drugs, okay?
323
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,956
And you had to be a turd!
324
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:10,657
I'm going to the beach.
325
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:12,826
Hey, pack?
What?
326
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:15,595
You and I are brothers in this
existential search for wisdom,
327
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,464
and I was just wondering...
Wow, man!
328
00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:18,932
Dang, that was fast.
329
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:21,134
[ Upbeat music playing ]
330
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:25,805
* sunshine
331
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,374
* don't you hide away
332
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,442
* I want sunshine
333
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:33,680
* each and every day
334
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,485
* sunshine
335
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:39,953
ah, i love that bathroom.
336
00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:43,356
I used to hide from passengers
in that bathroom.
337
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:44,624
No kidding.
Yes.
338
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,327
Hey, hey!
Hey, whoa!
339
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,496
How did that get there?
340
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:54,134
Can you imagine if I took this
back to camp?
341
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,003
They'd have found the bathroom
for sure.
342
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,004
That cannot happen.
343
00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:58,371
No.
344
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:02,375
[ Both laughing ]
345
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:06,713
**
346
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,758
Karen: Ooh, beautiful rock.
How did he hide that?
347
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,360
Did he swallow it
and crap it out?
348
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:22,395
No, Karen,
he didn't crap it out.
349
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,531
Oh, look,
it's Diane from Toledo.
350
00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:26,699
Oh, Jess,
i heard you got engaged!
351
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:27,700
Let me see your ring.
352
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:30,003
What do you think?
353
00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:31,704
That is my ring?
354
00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:32,940
What?
What?
355
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:35,375
That's my ring.
Read the inscription.
356
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:37,177
"To Diane.
357
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,679
We'll always have Toledo."
358
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:40,613
See?
359
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:42,449
But why would Todd have this?
360
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,051
It's got to be a mistake.
361
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,885
Or he didn't bring a ring
362
00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:47,296
'cause he doesn't
want to marry you.
363
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,889
Seems pretty obvious.
364
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:52,892
What?
365
00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:55,028
Why are you looking at me
like that?
366
00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:58,365
You're right, Chet,
it is glorious.
367
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,532
Cool.
How do you feel?
368
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,268
I feel like
I'm finally at peace.
369
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:02,635
Go in deeper, pack.
370
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:04,371
What's making you so relaxed?
371
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,905
[ Echoing ] Drugs.
372
00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:09,576
[ Echoing ] No, uh, you're
surrendering to the island, bro.
373
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:11,578
It's mostly drugs.
374
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:13,780
You don't have
any more fancy cars.
375
00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:16,449
You don't have to follow
any stupid corporate ladders
376
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:17,750
all the way up.
377
00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:19,419
All the hard work
you've been doing
378
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:22,289
for all these years is gone.
379
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:23,723
It's gone?
380
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,926
And the only thing that's left
is the jungle.
381
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:33,100
And you... primal-ass,
raw-ass wild pack.
382
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,734
Wild pack?
383
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,437
You okay, little buddy?
Pack?
384
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:38,771
What did you give me?
385
00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:41,308
The most powerful drug of all,
bro...
386
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:42,342
Truth.
387
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,111
No, seriously.
What was it?
388
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:46,413
Was it, like, mdma
or, like, acid?
389
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,780
Yeah, that was just Claritin,
man.
390
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:49,782
What?!
Yeah.
I get, like, a runny nose.
391
00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:52,085
You gave me a Claritin?!
Why?!
392
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:54,430
So you'd think I was giving you
drugs and you'd listen to me.
393
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,622
A-doi!
394
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:57,524
My heart...
It's beating very fast.
395
00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:59,026
I can't breathe.
396
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:01,861
Oh, that sounds like a...
Like an actual panic attack.
397
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:03,196
Oh, there's too many people!
398
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:04,264
Pack!
399
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,099
[ Screaming ]
400
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:07,634
Pack!
401
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:09,136
Pack, the beach is that way!
402
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:10,870
[ Screaming ]
403
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:14,174
What's going on?
Another pretzel fight?
404
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:15,808
Todd?
405
00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:17,477
Where did you get this ring?
406
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:19,979
Uh...
407
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:23,316
The most expensive jewelry store
in all scottsdale.
408
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:24,651
You're welcome.
409
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,487
Ow!
What's up your butt?
410
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,122
You're a liar, Todd!
411
00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:30,190
That's Diane's ring!
412
00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:32,025
So why are you throwing it
in the sand?
413
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:33,860
You were never gonna propose,
Todd.
414
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:36,129
Why are you so obsessed
with getting married?
415
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,631
I just wanted a commitment,
Todd.
416
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:41,501
A promise that in 10 years,
you're not just gonna trade up.
417
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,503
You're being insane right now.
418
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,538
There's no way
i could trade up from you.
419
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:46,906
Crowd: Aw!
420
00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:49,142
You're, like, the hottest chick
i ever banged.
421
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:50,577
Ugh.
422
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:51,711
Look...
423
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:53,913
I know I screwed the pooch,
424
00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:57,417
but being engaged to you today,
it was...
425
00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:59,352
Rad.
426
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:03,690
And I don't know why
i was scared before, but...
427
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,825
The moment we get back
to scottsdale,
428
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,827
I am taking you ring shopping.
429
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:11,064
So until then...
430
00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:15,902
Jess, I love you
so friggin' much.
431
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:19,539
Will you marry me...
For reals?
432
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:23,042
**
433
00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:24,277
No.
434
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:26,179
What?!
Why not?
435
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:28,248
Because you lied to me, Todd.
436
00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:30,583
And you stole the camp's stuff.
437
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:32,051
He did what?!
438
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:33,562
Wait a minute, so that wasn't
the last bag of pretzels
439
00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:34,721
we were fighting over?
440
00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,123
No, no.
There are dozens more.
441
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:37,857
Oh, dear god.
442
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,026
I put Brian in a coma.
443
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:43,062
Let's go take back what's ours!
444
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:44,664
Crowd: Yeah!
445
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:48,901
No, yeah, I was gonna...
I was just holding on to it.
446
00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:50,737
How could you do this to me?
447
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:52,038
I thought we were a team.
448
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,940
Yeah, i thought so, too, Todd,
449
00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:56,843
until I realized that you only
care about yourself.
450
00:17:58,178 --> 00:17:59,746
Whatever, dude.
451
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,814
I can't wait to be single.
452
00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:07,654
I'm gonna crush so much tail
all over this island, just...
453
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,389
Crushing tail.
454
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:10,457
So much.
455
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:11,624
Goodbye, Todd.
456
00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:13,593
Tail!
I'm gonna...
457
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,762
Crush it.
458
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,930
I have no standards right now.
459
00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:20,467
I will hit anything!
460
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,702
Anyone?!
461
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,107
You know, it's weird.
462
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:29,976
Even though we're eating
less and less,
463
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:32,179
I feel like I'm going
more and more.
464
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,347
You know what? I don't even
pee in the woods anymore.
465
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:36,115
I just use this now.
Is that weird?
466
00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:37,317
Hey, no skin off my back.
467
00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:39,986
[ Branch snaps ]
468
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,425
My god.
469
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,294
Turdhole, you bastard.
470
00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:48,495
You followed us, didn't you?
471
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:51,531
If I told everybody about this,
472
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,366
they'd have to forgive me
for the pile.
473
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,868
Hey, hey,
take it easy, turdhole.
474
00:18:55,902 --> 00:18:57,337
Okay, we're gonna work this out.
475
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:59,706
I wouldn't be turdhole anymore.
I'd just be Kurt.
476
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:00,940
No, no.
Turdhole, wait!
477
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:01,941
I'm so sorry.
478
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,276
We'll stop calling you turdhole.
479
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,377
We'll call you Kurt.
480
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:06,045
Everyone!
481
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:09,182
Danny and Owen
have a bathroom out here!
482
00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:10,550
- No!
- No, turdhole!
483
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,151
- Turdhole!
- Get back here!
484
00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:13,620
Turdhole is a liar!
485
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,822
Turdhole is a liar!
486
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:23,963
Maybe they won't
totally destroy it.
487
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,898
Man: Shitter's full!
Oh!
488
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:29,302
[ All groaning ]
489
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:31,904
Well, there's
nowhere to hide now.
490
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:33,740
So where we gonna poop next,
man?
491
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,851
There's a bamboo clearing
in the forest. I thought...
492
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,586
I got to get off the island.
I have to get off the island.
493
00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:39,145
I can't stay here.
494
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,948
Danny, I can't stay in the same
place with the same people...
495
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:44,517
I'm gonna chart the island.
496
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:45,852
Great idea.
I'll come with.
497
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,687
We can poop anywhere, man.
498
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,722
You know, actually, Danny,
499
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:52,559
I think I'm gonna
go by myself on this one.
500
00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,861
Oh.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
501
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,229
Yeah.
That's just... look.
502
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:57,606
That's 'cause I just...
I would never... oh...
503
00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:59,098
I understand.
Thank you.
504
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:00,900
Of course.
Please, please, please.
505
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:04,737
So where you gonna go?
Like, into the jungle?
506
00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:06,406
Am I gonna go into the jungle?
507
00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:07,840
No. [ Laughs ]
508
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:10,009
Uh, no, I don't think so.
I'm gonna stay on the beach.
509
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,612
Can you imagine going into
the jungle by yourself?
510
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:15,815
Especially at night?
Oh, hell no, no way.
511
00:20:17,284 --> 00:20:19,185
Hello!
512
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,288
Anybody!
513
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:22,722
Shit! What the [Bleep]
514
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,056
What the shit was that?!
515
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,725
Hey, what's going on?
516
00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:27,026
Where's our stuff?!
517
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,127
It was in here!
518
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,195
What is this, a joke?
519
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,797
I told you
i don't get many jokes.
520
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:32,765
It was in here, Karen, i swear.
521
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:35,134
Todd: Hey, boners!
522
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:37,870
It's all gone!
523
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:39,439
I hid it.
524
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:42,642
From now on,
i control the stuff!
525
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:45,445
God damn it, Todd!
Who do you think you are?!
526
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:50,149
I'm the friggin'
king of the island!
527
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:53,252
Yeah!
528
00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:55,622
Ooh!
529
00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:57,990
Whoo!
530
00:20:58,024 --> 00:20:59,125
Whoo!
35237
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