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1
00:00:06,808 --> 00:00:08,777
BYE, DICK!
I'LL SEE YOU
AT THE OFFICE.
2
00:00:08,810 --> 00:00:13,014
MARY, DON'T LEAVE.
I WAS BRINGING YOU
BREAKFAST IN BED.
3
00:00:13,047 --> 00:00:15,083
THAT'S VERY SWEET,
BUT I THINK
I'LL JUST GRAB
4
00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:16,585
SOME COFFEE
AND A MUFFIN.
5
00:00:16,618 --> 00:00:18,152
OH, THAT'S OK.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
6
00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:20,955
I JUST THREW
ALL THIS TOGETHER.
7
00:00:20,989 --> 00:00:22,523
I NEVER WOULD'VE
GUESSED.
8
00:00:26,194 --> 00:00:27,061
HEY, DICK.
9
00:00:27,095 --> 00:00:28,396
OH, YOU TWO ARE UP
BRIGHT AND EARLY.
10
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:29,631
WE JUST GOT BACK.
11
00:00:29,664 --> 00:00:31,966
DON TOOK ME ON
AN ALL-NIGHT
STAKEOUT.
12
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,134
YOU MUST BE
EXHAUSTED.
13
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:35,069
NO. WE FELL ASLEEP
AROUND 11:00.
14
00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:37,772
YEAH.
15
00:00:37,806 --> 00:00:39,874
I'M REASONABLY SURE
NOTHING WENT DOWN,
THOUGH.
16
00:00:39,908 --> 00:00:42,276
I'M A PRETTY LIGHT
SLEEPER.
17
00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:44,245
I JUST LOVE
SPENDING THE NIGHT
IN YOUR ARMS.
18
00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:45,647
OH, ME, TOO.
19
00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:53,655
HEY, I GOTTA GO
HIT THE CAN.
20
00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:58,026
TOMMY, AM I A VIRGO
OR A CAPRICORN?
21
00:00:58,059 --> 00:00:59,127
I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY?
22
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,395
DOES IT MATTER?
23
00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:03,632
BECAUSE THIS HOROSCOPE
RIGHT HEEERRRRE--
24
00:01:03,665 --> 00:01:05,867
INCOMING MESSAGE FROM
THE BIG GIANT HEAD!
25
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,168
HEY, DICK,
GET IN HERE!
26
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:09,137
TO ENSURE BETTER
CUSTOMER SERVICE,
27
00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:11,305
THIS TRANSMISSION
MAY BE MONITORED.
28
00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:13,742
WHAT IS IT?
THE BIG GIANT HEAD
29
00:01:13,775 --> 00:01:17,812
HAS RECEIVED
YOUR LIEUTENANT'S REQUEST
FOR GENDER REASSIGNMENT.
30
00:01:17,846 --> 00:01:20,715
SALLY SENT THAT THING
OFF, LIKE, 3 YEARS
AGO.
31
00:01:20,749 --> 00:01:23,985
THE BIG GIANT HEAD
HEREBY APPROVES
YOUR REQUEST.
32
00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:26,354
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE,
YOUR LIEUTENANT'S BODY
33
00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:28,823
WILL BE SWITCHED
WITH THAT OF YOUR
HIGH COMMANDER.
34
00:01:28,857 --> 00:01:30,224
LIEUTENANT,
YOU GET IN HERE!
35
00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:33,628
PREPARE TO EXCHANGE FORMS
IN 3, 2, 1...
36
00:01:33,662 --> 00:01:35,296
ACHOO!
ACHOO!
ACHOO!
37
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,534
OH, NO...
38
00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:42,103
WHERE ARE MY BOOBS?
39
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:46,607
I'VE GOT THEM!
40
00:01:46,641 --> 00:01:47,575
YOU'RE ME!
YOU'RE ME!
41
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:48,476
DICK?
WHAT?
42
00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:50,378
AAH!
OH, GREAT.
WHAT HAPPENED?
43
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,914
THE BIG GIANT HEAD
JUST SWITCHED
THEIR BODIES.
44
00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:54,716
WOW.
45
00:01:54,749 --> 00:01:58,552
OH, MY GOD!
46
00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:00,588
I'M GORGEOUS!
47
00:02:04,726 --> 00:02:05,927
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
CARSEY-WERNER PRODUCTIONS
48
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,196
AND THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING
COMPANY
49
00:02:39,060 --> 00:02:41,395
YOUR REQUEST TO RETURN
TO YOUR ORIGINAL EARTH BODIES
50
00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:44,833
WILL BE ANSWERED IN
THE ORDER IN WHICH
IT WAS RECEIVED.
51
00:02:44,866 --> 00:02:48,636
TRANSMISSION ENDING
IN 3, 2, 1...
52
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,939
ACHOO!
53
00:02:50,972 --> 00:02:51,773
WHAT'S THE WORD?
54
00:02:51,806 --> 00:02:53,942
HE PUT US ON
THE WAITING LIST.
55
00:02:53,975 --> 00:02:54,976
DAMN!
56
00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:57,779
MAN, IT TOOK HIM
3 YEARS TO ANSWER
THE FIRST ONE.
57
00:02:57,812 --> 00:03:01,215
THIS IS HORRIBLE,
JUST HORRIBLE!
58
00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:02,550
WHY, IN HEAVEN'S NAME,
59
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:04,552
WOULD YOU PUT IN
A REQUEST TO
SWITCH BODIES?
60
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:05,920
LIEUTENANT, WHAT
WERE YOU THINKING?
61
00:03:05,954 --> 00:03:08,589
WHEN WE FIRST GOT HERE,
I DIDN'T WANT TO BE
THE WOMAN,
62
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:09,724
BUT THAT WAS
A LONG TIME AGO
63
00:03:09,758 --> 00:03:13,561
BEFORE I REALIZED
HOW MUCH I LIKE MEN.
64
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:15,629
WELL, I CANNOT BE STUCK
IN A WOMAN'S BODY.
65
00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:18,132
DAMMIT! I'M
THE HIGH COMMANDER!
66
00:03:18,166 --> 00:03:21,069
[CRYING] WHAT ARE WE
GONNA DO, DICK?
67
00:03:21,102 --> 00:03:23,271
PULL YOURSELF
TOGETHER, MAN!
68
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:24,906
I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.
69
00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:26,340
WE'RE GONNA LIVE
EACH OTHER'S LIVES
70
00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:27,675
AS NORMALLY
AS POSSIBLE
71
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,243
UNTIL
THE BIG GIANT HEAD
GETS BACK TO US.
72
00:03:29,277 --> 00:03:31,545
OH, GREAT!
73
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,281
OHH!
74
00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:39,253
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
TO DO WITH YOUR...
75
00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:41,956
YOU KNOW, GOODS?
76
00:03:41,990 --> 00:03:43,324
JUST PICK A SIDE
AND COMMIT.
77
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,659
YUP. TILL YOU LEARN
THE INS AND OUTS,
78
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:48,229
YOU MIGHT WANNA CONSIDER
WEARING A CUP.
79
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:49,397
THIS IS SO WEIRD.
80
00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:51,032
OH,
STOP COMPLAINING.
81
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,400
LOOK AT THESE
WILLOWY LIMBS.
82
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:53,334
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
TO DO WITH THEM.
83
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:55,469
MY CENTER
OF GRAVITY'S
SO LOW,
84
00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:57,471
AND WOULD YOU LOOK
AT THESE BREASTS!
85
00:03:57,505 --> 00:03:59,373
HEY, DICK,
CAN WE TOUCH 'EM?
86
00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:01,175
BE MY GUEST.
THEY'RE NOT MINE.
87
00:04:01,209 --> 00:04:02,710
HEY!
88
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:10,684
SO HELP ME GOD,
IF YOU TOUCH THOSE,
YOU WILL DIE.
89
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:17,859
ALL RIGHT,
SETTLE DOWN, SETTLE DOWN.
90
00:04:17,892 --> 00:04:19,961
[CHATTER CONTINUES]
91
00:04:19,994 --> 00:04:21,362
ALL RIGHT,
EVERYBODY SHUT UP
92
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:23,197
BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT
THE FREAKIN' WINDOW!
93
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,136
SO, WHAT ARE
WE DOING HERE?
94
00:04:28,169 --> 00:04:30,171
SURFACE TENSION
AND LIQUIDITY.
95
00:04:30,204 --> 00:04:30,939
I HAVE A QUESTION
FOR YOU--
96
00:04:30,972 --> 00:04:33,407
WHERE'D YOU GET
THOSE SHOES?
97
00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:34,375
PICK-AND-PAY.
98
00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:37,478
OH, I LOVE THAT PLACE.
IT'S SO COOL!
99
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:40,381
HAS ANYBODY ELSE HERE
BEEN TO PIC-AND-PAY?
IT'S SO AWESOME.
100
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:42,616
YEAH. I GOT
SOME WOOL PANTS
THERE, HALF OFF.
101
00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:45,386
YOU DID?
YEAH, BUT THEY
WEREN'T MY SIZE,
102
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:49,723
AND THEY DIDN'T
HAVE A LINING, AND I'M
WEARING THEM RIGHT NOW.
103
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:51,425
SEE WHAT I MEAN?
104
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:54,228
OK...SO, UH...
WE GOT, UH...
105
00:04:54,262 --> 00:05:00,801
VALUE...AND...
SELECTION.
106
00:05:00,835 --> 00:05:02,536
THIS IS WHAT WE'RE
LOOKING FOR HERE.
107
00:05:06,841 --> 00:05:09,577
WELL, I'M OFF
TO CABO SAN LUCAS.
108
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:11,345
YOU HAVE FUN, DOUG,
109
00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:12,446
AND DON'T YOU WORRY
ABOUT NOTHIN'
110
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:15,749
BUT THE SEÑORITAS
AND THE MARGARITAS, OK?
111
00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:18,652
BECAUSE HARRY'S
HOLDING DOWN THE FORT.
112
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,288
WHAT THE HELL.
113
00:05:22,256 --> 00:05:23,892
YOU'RE IN CHARGE
OF THE BAR.
YUP.
114
00:05:23,925 --> 00:05:26,427
DOUG'S NOT
TOO BRIGHT, IS HE?
NOT PARTICULARLY, NO.
115
00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:35,136
MAN, THOSE GUYS
LOOK LIKE BADASSES.
116
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:35,970
YOU THINK?
117
00:05:36,004 --> 00:05:36,938
YEAH. LOOK
AT 'EM, MAN.
118
00:05:36,971 --> 00:05:40,474
THEY ARE CLEARLY
BAD ASSES.
119
00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:42,977
WELL, JUST ONE WAY
TO FIND OUT.
120
00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:50,484
EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU
AND YOUR FRIENDS
HERE BADASSES?
121
00:05:50,518 --> 00:05:52,887
HEH HEH HEH...
WE'LL HAVE 3 BEERS.
122
00:05:52,921 --> 00:05:54,956
HA HA HA!
123
00:05:54,989 --> 00:05:57,258
OH, MAN,
THEY'RE BADASSES.
124
00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,194
[HONK HONK]
125
00:06:00,228 --> 00:06:04,899
OH, YES, THE HONKING
DRIVES ME MAD
WITH DESIRE!
126
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,003
AH, YOU'VE NOTICED
I HAVE BREASTS.
GOOD FOR YOU.
127
00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:15,776
DON LEFT THIS
IN OUR BATHROOM.
128
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,711
HEY, SALLY,
YOU LOOK NICE.
129
00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:21,682
WHY, THANK YOU.
YOU'VE GOT ME
ALL HOT NOW.
130
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,084
I'D JUMP RIGHT INTO BED
WITH YOU,
131
00:06:23,117 --> 00:06:25,086
BUT YOU'LL
HAVE TO GET IN LINE BEHIND
2 CONSTRUCTION WORKERS,
132
00:06:25,119 --> 00:06:29,023
A MAILMAN,
AND A 12-YEAR-OLD BOY.
133
00:06:29,057 --> 00:06:30,124
SORRY.
134
00:06:30,158 --> 00:06:32,326
SALLY, HE WAS
JUST PAYING YOU AN
INNOCENT COMPLIMENT.
135
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,562
I'M QUITE AWARE
OF HOW SEXUALLY
ATTRACTIVE I AM.
136
00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:36,530
I GET IT.
NOW LET'S MOVE ON.
137
00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:38,266
SALLY, PLEASE,
CALM DOWN.
138
00:06:38,299 --> 00:06:42,670
WHAT IS THAT,
SOME SORT OF
MENSTRUATION CRACK?
139
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:46,207
WELL, I'VE GOT
A NEWS FLASH FOR
YOU, DON ORVILLE,
140
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,476
AND FOR ALL THE MEN
OF RUTHERFORD.
141
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:53,314
BENEATH THIS PRETTY PACKAGE
IS A MIND!
142
00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:56,050
DO YOU HEAR ME?
A MIND!
143
00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:02,156
OH, HEY, NINA.
144
00:07:02,190 --> 00:07:03,824
YOU WENT TO
PIC-AND-PAY?
145
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:06,227
YEAH.
146
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:09,730
I COULDN'T FIND
ANYTHING EXCEPT
THESE STUPID WINGTIPS.
147
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,065
THEY'RE NOT EVEN
PATENT LEATHER.
148
00:07:11,099 --> 00:07:14,835
MEN'S SHOES SUCK!
149
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,370
WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD.
150
00:07:16,404 --> 00:07:19,473
MY FEET ARE HUGE.
I'M DISGUSTING.
151
00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,110
OK.
152
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,114
THERE YOU ARE.
WHERE WERE YOU?
153
00:07:26,147 --> 00:07:27,348
OH, HEY, ALBRIGHT.
154
00:07:27,381 --> 00:07:29,683
YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO MEET ME FOR LUNCH!
155
00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:33,821
I'M HAVING A BAD DAY.
YOU WANNA LAY OFF?!
156
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:37,425
I WAS WAITING
AT THE BAGUETTE
FOR OVER AN HOUR.
157
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,127
YEAH? WELL,
I WAS TEACHING
THAT HORRIBLE CLASS,
158
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:42,230
AND I COULDN'T TAKE IT,
SO I WENT TO GET SOME SHOES,
159
00:07:42,263 --> 00:07:43,564
AND I COULDN'T FIND
ANYTHING I LIKED,
160
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:49,903
[CRYING] AND THEN I
CAME BACK HERE, AND YOU
STARTED YELLING AT ME!
161
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:52,640
I'M SORRY, DICK,
BUT I WAS WAITING
AN HOUR.
162
00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:54,308
I CAN'T BREATHE.
163
00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:57,678
ARE YOU OK?
164
00:07:57,711 --> 00:08:00,381
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH.
165
00:08:00,414 --> 00:08:03,984
I MEAN,
JUST LOOK AT THESE!
166
00:08:04,018 --> 00:08:05,319
I'M HERE TO HELP.
167
00:08:05,353 --> 00:08:07,388
YOU CAN'T HELP.
NOBODY CAN HELP.
168
00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:09,423
I FEEL SO TRAPPED.
169
00:08:15,063 --> 00:08:18,532
[ LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE BOY
PLAYING]
170
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,009
WHOO, SALLY...
LOOKIN' HOT, MAN!
171
00:08:29,043 --> 00:08:32,613
YEAH! WALK
THAT AROUND!
172
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:36,350
LAY OFF, BUTTHEADS!
I'M HAVING A CRAPPY DAY.
173
00:08:36,384 --> 00:08:38,486
I CAN TAKE THE UGLY SHOES,
I CAN TAKE THE STUPID JOB,
174
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:42,356
BUT I'LL BE DAMNED IF
I'M GONNA WALK AROUND
WITH LOVE HANDLES!
175
00:08:42,390 --> 00:08:44,192
ARE YOU WEARING
LIP GLOSS?
176
00:08:44,225 --> 00:08:48,562
IT'S NOT A GLOSS.
IT'S A SHINY BALM.
177
00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:50,464
DICK IS REALLY NEGLECTING
HIS LIPS.
178
00:08:56,204 --> 00:08:58,839
HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING
TO MY BODY, YOU MORON?
179
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,909
YOU'RE GONNA GET IT
FAT AND STRETCHED OUT!
180
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:03,877
LIEUTENANT,
I ALWAYS EAT THIS WAY.
181
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:04,812
WELL, YOU
CAN'T ANYMORE.
182
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,514
YOU'LL NEVER KEEP
A BOYFRIEND.
183
00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:08,582
AHA! SPEAKING
OF BOYFRIENDS--
184
00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:10,784
I'VE DECIDED THAT DON
IS NO GENTLEMAN.
185
00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:13,554
I THINK IT'S TIME
YOU MOVED ON.
186
00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:14,355
YOU BETTER
NOT MESS UP
187
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:15,589
MY RELATIONSHIP
WITH DON.
188
00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:16,257
OH, PLEASE.
189
00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:18,692
OH, YOU ARE
SUCH A BONEHEAD!
190
00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:21,495
AFTER I TRIED SO HARD
NOT TO BLOW THINGS
WITH ALBRIGHT.
191
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:29,803
"TRIED"?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
WHAT HAPPENED?
192
00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:32,140
NOTHING.
193
00:09:32,173 --> 00:09:34,908
TELL ME, DAMMIT!
194
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,076
WELL,
I GOT BUMMED OUT
195
00:09:36,110 --> 00:09:40,548
WHEN I COULDN'T FIND
NICE SHOES FOR YOUR
BIG, FAT FEET!
196
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:43,517
AND I MAY HAVE
GOTTEN A LITTLE...
WEEPY.
197
00:09:43,551 --> 00:09:45,419
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
198
00:09:45,453 --> 00:09:49,490
NOW SHE THINKS
I'M SOME HYSTERICAL,
SHOE-LOVING WUSSY!
199
00:09:49,523 --> 00:09:51,825
YOU'RE WORRIED
ABOUT GETTING FAT?
JUST WATCH THIS.
200
00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:55,196
GIVE ME THAT SANDWICH,
YOU HORRIBLE MAN!
201
00:09:55,229 --> 00:09:57,731
HEY, HEY, HEY!
LET'S CHILL!
202
00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,099
HOW CAN I CHILL?
203
00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:00,768
HE'S SCREWING UP
EVERYTHING WITH DON!
204
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:03,537
[MUFFLED] SHE'S SCREWING UP
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MARY!
205
00:10:03,571 --> 00:10:07,141
OH, PEOPLE,
PEOPLE, PEOPLE!
206
00:10:07,175 --> 00:10:10,811
LOOK...YOU GUYS
HAVE GOT TO GET
OVER THIS!
207
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:11,912
WHEN WE LANDED
ON EARTH,
208
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,648
WE HAD NO ATTACHMENT
TO THESE BODIES,
BUT WE ADAPTED.
209
00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:16,250
WE FIGURED OUT HOW
TO WORK WITH THEM.
210
00:10:16,284 --> 00:10:17,618
YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND,
TOMMY.
211
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:20,621
I LIKE BEING
THE WOMAN.
212
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:22,856
WHO CARES IF YOU
ONLY EARN 60 CENTS
ON THE DOLLAR
213
00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:26,394
IF YOU CAN HAVE
SKIN LIKE THAT?
214
00:10:26,427 --> 00:10:28,229
MARY DOESN'T LIKE
YOUR SKIN.
215
00:10:28,262 --> 00:10:30,598
SHE LIKES MY SKIN!
216
00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:32,533
NOW YOU LISTEN
TO ME, DICK--
217
00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:33,301
I'M SALLY!
218
00:10:33,334 --> 00:10:36,504
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
WHO YOU ARE!
219
00:10:36,537 --> 00:10:37,971
IF YOU DON'T START
WORKING TOGETHER,
220
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:40,174
YOU'RE GONNA LOSE
DON | MARY.
221
00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:50,083
YOU'RE RIGHT.
222
00:10:53,287 --> 00:10:55,889
TRUCE.
223
00:10:55,923 --> 00:10:57,225
ALL RIGHT,
TRUCE.
224
00:10:57,258 --> 00:10:59,727
THAT'S BETTER.
225
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:04,898
NOT WITH
THAT SANDWICH,
YOU DON'T!
226
00:11:11,539 --> 00:11:12,206
WHERE ARE THEY?
227
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:14,875
RIGHT THERE.
GO CUFF 'EM, DON.
228
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:17,077
UH...WHAT FOR?
229
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,980
THAT GUY OVER THERE,
HE KEEPS ORDERING DRINKS.
230
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,682
AND TALKING.
231
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:24,718
AND THAT OTHER GUY
KEEPS LAUGHING
AT SOMETHING.
232
00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:28,556
DRINKING, TALKING,
LAUGHING IN A BAR.
233
00:11:28,589 --> 00:11:29,557
NO LAW AGAINST THAT.
234
00:11:29,590 --> 00:11:31,925
HEY, WE PAY TAXES.
HOW LONG IS THIS
GONNA GO ON
235
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:33,761
BEFORE THE POLICE
DO SOMETHING?
236
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:34,762
THIS IS TYPICAL.
237
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:39,900
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
GO EAT ANOTHER
DOUGHNUT, DON!
238
00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:42,636
I'D LIKE TO HELP
YOU OUT, GUYS, BUT...
239
00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:44,272
SALLY.
240
00:11:44,305 --> 00:11:45,706
DON.
241
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:49,109
DICK!
242
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,878
I'M GLAD YOU'RE
HERE, DON.
243
00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:52,880
I HAD TO TALK
TO YOU.
244
00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:54,982
IT'S ABOUT SALLY.
245
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:55,849
THAT'S FINE, DICK,
246
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:59,520
BUT COULD YOU BACK UP
ABOUT 4 INCHES?
247
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:01,255
OH, YEAH, SORRY.
YOU WANNA SIT DOWN?
248
00:12:01,289 --> 00:12:02,556
YEAH, SURE.
249
00:12:09,430 --> 00:12:11,565
I'D LIKE TO
APOLOGIZE FOR SALLY
THE OTHER DAY.
250
00:12:11,599 --> 00:12:13,734
SHE JUST FEELS
TERRIBLE ABOUT
THE WAY SHE ACTED.
251
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,369
YEAH, IT WAS STRANGE.
252
00:12:15,403 --> 00:12:17,438
SALLY REALLY WANTS
TO MAKE IT UP
TO YOU, DON.
253
00:12:17,471 --> 00:12:19,407
THAT'S WHY I'D
LIKE TO INVITE
YOU AND SALLY
254
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:22,743
OUT TO DINNER WITH
ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND
ALBRIGHT.
255
00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:25,479
WOULD YOU COME, DON?
256
00:12:25,513 --> 00:12:26,680
WOULD YOU?
257
00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:31,018
SURE.
258
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:33,020
OH, GOOD.
I WAS WORRIED YOU
WERE UPSET WITH ME.
259
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:35,523
HEY, YOU WANNA
WATCH IT?!
EXCUSE ME.
260
00:12:35,556 --> 00:12:37,190
YEAH, YOU BETTER
EXCUSE YOU, BOZO!
261
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:38,258
MY BOYFRIEND HERE'S
A COP.
262
00:12:38,292 --> 00:12:39,693
DICK!
263
00:12:43,531 --> 00:12:45,198
I SAID, MY SISTER'S
BOYFRIEND.
264
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,335
I THINK
EVERYBODY HEARD THAT.
265
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:52,706
SALLY, I THOUGHT
I HEARD YOU.
266
00:12:52,740 --> 00:12:54,775
MARY, YOU LOOK
PRETTY TODAY.
267
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:56,043
OH, THANKS.
SO DO YOU.
268
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:58,245
VERY PRETTY.
THANKS.
269
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:01,549
LOOK, I TRIED
TO CALL DICK.
IS HE ALL RIGHT?
270
00:13:01,582 --> 00:13:04,251
THAT'S WHAT I CAME
HERE TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT, MARY.
271
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,720
UH, PLEASE,
SIT DOWN.
272
00:13:06,754 --> 00:13:08,889
DICK IS FINE.
I KNEW YOU THOUGHT
273
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:11,759
HE WAS HAVING
A BREAKDOWN,
BUT HE WASN'T.
274
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:14,194
HE JUST SEEMED
SO FRAGILE.
275
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,429
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
276
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,603
HE'S LETTING
YOU IN, MARY.
277
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:25,072
THAT'S HIS WAY.
278
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:27,475
OR PERHAPS IT WAS
PERFORMANCE ART.
279
00:13:27,508 --> 00:13:29,910
THAT'S ANOTHER
PERFECTLY REASONABLE
EXPLANATION.
280
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,549
YEAH. UH, JUST--
281
00:13:35,583 --> 00:13:38,586
JUST TELL HIM THAT
HE CAN TALK TO ME.
282
00:13:38,619 --> 00:13:41,722
NO MATTER WHAT
IS BOTHERING HIM,
HE CAN TALK TO ME
283
00:13:41,755 --> 00:13:43,957
BECAUSE...
I LOVE HIM.
284
00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:47,961
OH!
285
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:49,897
OH, MARY!
286
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,666
SAY IT AGAIN.
287
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:54,334
NO.
288
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:01,809
HARRY, YOU BEEN
SHAKING THAT THING
FOR OVER AN HOUR.
289
00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:02,643
HAVE I?
290
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:05,078
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
POUR IT ALREADY?
291
00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:08,682
'CAUSE IF I POUR IT,
I GOTS TO SERVE IT.
292
00:14:08,716 --> 00:14:10,484
WHAT ARE YOU
SO WORRIED ABOUT?
293
00:14:10,518 --> 00:14:13,754
THOSE GUYS?
DON'T LOOK
AT 'EM!
294
00:14:13,787 --> 00:14:17,458
YOU CAN'T
JUDGE PEOPLE BY
THE WAY THEY LOOK.
295
00:14:17,491 --> 00:14:21,529
THOSE GUYS
ARE JUST A BUNCH
OF PUSSYCATS.
296
00:14:21,562 --> 00:14:22,763
WATCH ME, BOYS.
297
00:14:22,796 --> 00:14:25,165
DON'T GO OVER THERE.
298
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:28,869
HI, BOYS.
IS THIS SEAT TAKEN?
299
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,103
IT IS NOW.
300
00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:34,475
OH...NOW, WHICH ONE
OF YOU BIG FELLAS IS
GONNA BUY ME A BEER?
301
00:14:34,508 --> 00:14:37,144
I WILL. HOW ABOUT A BEER
FOR THE PRETTY LADY?
302
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:42,916
OH, YOU'RE WHAT
I LIKE TO CALL...
BURLY.
303
00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:45,352
LOOK AT HER.
SHE SURVIVED.
304
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,354
THOSE GUYS
ARE NICE GUYS
AFTER ALL.
305
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,189
MAN, WE'RE IDIOTS.
306
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:53,527
OH, I FEEL TERRIBLE.
COME ON.
307
00:14:53,561 --> 00:14:57,197
GUYS, I THINK WE
OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.
308
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,365
FOR WHAT?
309
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,533
WELL, ALL THIS TIME,
310
00:14:59,567 --> 00:15:01,569
WE THOUGHT YOU WERE
UP TO NO GOOD.
311
00:15:01,602 --> 00:15:02,436
CRIMINAL TYPES.
312
00:15:02,470 --> 00:15:04,938
LOOKING FOR TROUBLE.
CASING THE JOINT...
313
00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:06,507
BUT NOW WE SEE
HOW WRONG WE WERE,
314
00:15:06,540 --> 00:15:10,143
SO HOW CAN WE MAKE
THIS UP TO YOU?
315
00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:12,480
WE NEED SOME
MORE PRETZELS.
OK.
316
00:15:12,513 --> 00:15:13,413
AND WHILE
YOU'RE AT IT,
317
00:15:13,447 --> 00:15:16,884
WHY DON'T YOU
EMPTY OUT THE
CASH REGISTER?
318
00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:20,788
NOW.
319
00:15:20,821 --> 00:15:24,191
YEAH!
YEAH!
320
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:25,459
DID I NOT
TELL YOU?
321
00:15:25,493 --> 00:15:27,427
YOU DIDN'T NEED
TO TELL ME, MAN.
I KNEW!
322
00:15:27,461 --> 00:15:29,296
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
JUST A SECOND.
323
00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:30,397
WE SAW THIS COMING.
324
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,832
MILES AWAY,
BROTHER!
325
00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:32,766
THE CASH
REGISTER.
326
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,234
OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
327
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,373
SO, ALBRIGHT--
328
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:42,943
MARY...WHAT'RE YOU
GONNA ORDER?
329
00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:46,146
WELL,
THE STEAK TARTARE
LOOKS GOOD.
330
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,181
THINK I'LL ORDER IT
WELL DONE.
331
00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:49,550
HA HA HA HA!
332
00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:51,985
HA HA HA HA!
333
00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:54,555
OH, THAT'S FUNNY.
YOU'RE FUNNY.
334
00:15:54,588 --> 00:15:59,426
THAT'S REALLY
DESIRABLE IN A WOMAN.
CONGRATULATIONS.
335
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,095
WELL, PARDON ME.
I'LL BE IN THE
LITTLE BOYS' ROOM.
336
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:04,632
OH, I'LL GO WITH YOU!
THIS'LL BE FUN!
337
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:12,172
ARE YOU SURE
YOUR BROTHER'S
ALL RIGHT?
338
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:14,975
ALL RIGHT?
OH, MARY, HE'S GREAT.
339
00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:17,444
AND SO GOOD-LOOKING,
DON'T YOU THINK?
340
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:19,446
WELL, HE DOES
SEEM TO BE IN
BETTER SPIRITS,
341
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:22,916
BUT HE STILL SEEMS
SO DISTANT.
342
00:16:22,950 --> 00:16:25,619
HE DOESN'T LOOK
AT ME THE WAY
HE USED...TO.
343
00:16:28,789 --> 00:16:30,791
AND HOW DID HE
USED TO LOOK
AT YOU, MARY?
344
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:37,397
KINDA LIKE YOU'RE
LOOKING AT ME NOW.
345
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,835
TIME TO PUT OUT
THE FIRE.
346
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:57,618
KEEP YOUR EYE ON
THE ROAD, DICK.
347
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:01,655
SO WHAT'S
BOTHERING SALLY?
348
00:17:01,689 --> 00:17:03,691
IS SHE STILL
IN A MOOD?
349
00:17:03,724 --> 00:17:05,793
SHE LOOKS PRETTY HOT
TO ME.
350
00:17:05,826 --> 00:17:07,227
SHE ALWAYS
LOOKS HOT,
351
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:09,830
BUT YOU SAID SHE
WAS INTERESTED IN
SEEING ME TONIGHT.
352
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:13,100
SHE SEEMS
TO BE PAYING MORE
ATTENTION TO MARY.
353
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,969
BUT YOU STILL LOVE HER...
RIGHT, DON?
354
00:17:16,003 --> 00:17:18,471
OF COURSE I DO.
I'M CRAZY ABOUT HER.
355
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:19,640
AH...
356
00:17:19,673 --> 00:17:21,341
OH, GOODY.
357
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:33,220
SALLY, WE'RE IN TROUBLE.
YOU'VE GOT TO KISS MARY.
358
00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:34,321
WHAT?
359
00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:35,789
SHE KNOWS
SOMETHING'S WRONG.
YOU'VE GOT TO KISS HER.
360
00:17:35,823 --> 00:17:36,857
NOT GONNA
HAPPEN, DICK.
361
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,859
PUT ME DOWN FOR
A HUG AND A HANDSHAKE,
THAT'S IT.
362
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,794
HEY, WE'RE IN
THIS TOGETHER.
363
00:17:40,828 --> 00:17:42,429
NOW, I WANT
YOUR LIPS ON
HER LIPS,
364
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:45,132
AND THAT'S
AN ORDER,
LIEUTENANT!
365
00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:50,137
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT
THAT DICK MIGHT BE
A LITTLE...CONFUSED?
366
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:52,205
LET'S TALK ABOUT SALLY
FOR A MINUTE.
367
00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:54,307
SHE IS STALKING ME.
368
00:17:55,843 --> 00:17:59,179
SO, HOW'S
EVERYBODY DOING?
369
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:02,082
GREAT. UH, NOW...
370
00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:05,585
YOU KNOW, MARY,
DICK WAS JUST SAYING
371
00:18:05,619 --> 00:18:08,889
HOW DIFFICULT IT
IS FOR HIM TO SIT
NEXT TO YOU
372
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:11,524
WITHOUT SHOWERING YOU
WITH KISSES.
373
00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:14,261
NO, I WASN'T.
374
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,697
YES, YOU WERE.
YOU WERE SAYING
HOW UNBEARABLE
375
00:18:16,730 --> 00:18:21,201
IT IS TO SIT NEXT TO HER
WITHOUT KISSING HER
THIS VERY MOMENT.
376
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:23,370
REALLY?
YOU SAID THAT?
377
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:25,973
WELL, YES,
AFTER SHE TOLD ME
378
00:18:26,006 --> 00:18:27,975
THAT IT'S TAKING
ALL HER STRENGTH
379
00:18:28,008 --> 00:18:31,478
TO KEEP HER LIPS...
OFF DON.
380
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:39,452
ALL RIGHT...
I GUESS THAT'S FAIR.
381
00:19:00,107 --> 00:19:02,309
THAT'S MORE TONGUE
THAN I'M USED TO.
382
00:19:07,715 --> 00:19:09,582
WELL, DICK, WE
PULLED IT OFF.
383
00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:11,318
TO A JOB WELL DONE,
LIEUTENANT.
384
00:19:13,854 --> 00:19:16,523
AHH. SO, HOW'D YOU
GET OUT OF GOING
HOME WITH DON?
385
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:18,191
I TOLD HIM I HAD
A HEADACHE.
386
00:19:18,225 --> 00:19:19,893
OH, THAT IS SO COOL.
387
00:19:19,927 --> 00:19:22,562
I TOLD ALBRIGHT
I HAD PSORIASIS.
388
00:19:25,032 --> 00:19:27,634
IF WE ARE DOOMED
TO STAY IN THESE BODIES
FOR A WHILE,
389
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,904
I SUPPOSE
IT COULD BE WORSE.
390
00:19:30,938 --> 00:19:31,939
DON IS KIND OF CUDDLY.
391
00:19:31,972 --> 00:19:34,141
MM. AND MARY'S
MUTUAL FUNDS
392
00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:38,511
HAVE OUTPERFORMED
THE S&P FOR THE
LAST 4 QUARTERS.
393
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:41,148
WELL, LET'S HAVE
A TOAST, SHALL WE?
394
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:46,019
TO NEWWWWWW--
INCOMING MESSAGE FROM
THE BIG GIANT HEAD.
395
00:19:46,053 --> 00:19:48,121
YOUR REQUEST
HAS BEEN APPROVED.
396
00:19:48,155 --> 00:19:50,623
YOUR LIEUTENANT
AND HIGH COMMANDER
WILL BE RESTORED
397
00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:53,360
TO THEIR PREVIOUS
EARTH BODIES IMMEDIATELY,
398
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:57,597
AND A SMALL FEE WILL APPEAR
ON YOUR NEXT STATEMENT.
399
00:19:57,630 --> 00:20:00,734
TRANSMISSION ENDING
IN 3, 2, 1...
400
00:20:00,768 --> 00:20:01,568
ACHOO!
ACHOO!
ACHOO!
401
00:20:08,876 --> 00:20:10,310
DICK?
402
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:12,012
SALLY?
403
00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:14,381
WE'RE BACK!
WE'RE BACK!
404
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:21,354
ISN'T THAT GREAT,
TOMMY?
405
00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:25,025
OH, ISN'T THAT
COOL, TOMMY?
406
00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:28,128
TOMMY?
I'M NOT TOMMY.
407
00:20:28,161 --> 00:20:30,831
OH, MY GOD!
408
00:20:30,864 --> 00:20:32,900
AH, I'M JUST
SCREWIN' WITH YOU.
409
00:20:38,005 --> 00:20:40,073
I LEARNED ONE THING
FROM THOSE TOUGH GUYS
AT THE BAR.
410
00:20:40,107 --> 00:20:42,475
YOU KNOW HOW THEY SAY
YOU CAN'T JUDGE A BOOK
BY ITS COVER?
411
00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:43,476
IT'S A BIG LIE.
412
00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:46,413
MM, TRUE. THAT'S
WHAT THE COVER'S FOR--
413
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:48,048
TELLS YOU EXACTLY
WHAT'S IN THE BOOK.
414
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:50,317
YEAH. FROM NOW ON,
I LOOK AT PEOPLE,
415
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,519
MAKE SNAP JUDGMENTS,
AND STICK WITH 'EM.
416
00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:54,054
BUT IT'S NOT TRUE.
417
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:57,190
I JUST SPENT 2 DAYS
IN SALLY'S BODY,
418
00:20:57,224 --> 00:20:58,758
AND PEOPLE MADE
ALL SORTS OF
ASSUMPTIONS
419
00:20:58,792 --> 00:21:00,093
BASED ON
HOW I LOOKED.
420
00:21:00,127 --> 00:21:01,895
AND IT WAS STILL
ME INSIDE.
421
00:21:01,929 --> 00:21:05,065
YEAH. WELL, THIS BODY
TOOK SOME GETTING
USED TO AT FIRST,
422
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:07,134
BUT NOW IT FEELS
LIKE HOME.
423
00:21:07,167 --> 00:21:09,269
WELL, I'M GLAD TO BE
BACK IN MY BODY.
424
00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:11,571
AND YOU KNOW, SALLY,
I WAS MAD AT FIRST,
425
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:14,474
BUT NOW I
REALLY DON'T MIND
THE SHAVED LEGS.
426
00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:19,312
YOU KNOW, I DID
YOUR BUTT, TOO.
427
00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:27,720
OH, DON'T THINK
I DIDN'T NOTICE.
428
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:29,689
OH DICK, HAVE YOU SEEN
MY SWEATER?
429
00:21:29,722 --> 00:21:31,124
UH, NO
430
00:21:31,158 --> 00:21:33,393
IT'S THE PINK ONE WITH THE
LITTLE WHITE BOW.
431
00:21:33,426 --> 00:21:34,627
IT DOESN'T RING A BELL.
432
00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:36,096
WAIT A MINUTE
433
00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:37,064
OPEN YOUR COAT
434
00:21:37,097 --> 00:21:38,498
SALLY I DON'T HAVE TIME
FOR THIS NONSENSE
435
00:21:38,531 --> 00:21:40,600
I'VE GOT TO GET TO WORK
436
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,535
AHA!
437
00:21:42,569 --> 00:21:45,005
WELL IT FEELS SO SOFT
AGAINST MY SKIN
438
00:21:45,038 --> 00:21:46,907
AND THEY DON'T MAKE
ANGORA FOR MEN
439
00:21:46,940 --> 00:21:48,408
BESIDES I LOOK MUCH
CUTER IN IT
440
00:21:48,441 --> 00:21:49,676
THAN YOU DO
441
00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:50,643
TAKE IT OFF
442
00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:52,045
I'LL GIVE YOU TEN BUCKS FOR IT
443
00:21:52,079 --> 00:21:53,446
TWENTY.
444
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:54,514
DEAL,
31643
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