All language subtitles for 3rd.Rock.from.the.Sun.S03E21.The.Physics.of.Being.Dick.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.H.264-SiGMA

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,609 --> 00:00:10,779 SHE THINKS SHE IS ALL THAT, BUT SHE IS NOT ALL THAT. 2 00:00:10,812 --> 00:00:15,750 OH, NO, GIRLFRIEND, DO NOT GO THERE. DO NOT GO THERE! 3 00:00:15,784 --> 00:00:18,887 OH, DAMN! SHE WENT THERE. 4 00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:22,691 WELL, I BETTER GET BACK TO THE STATION. 5 00:00:22,724 --> 00:00:24,292 TIME TO GO ON DUTY? 6 00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:27,596 NO. I'M ON DUTY. IT'S TIME TO PUNCH OUT. 7 00:00:27,629 --> 00:00:30,131 WELL, I'LL SEE YOU THURSDAY, TOMMY, AT CAREER DAY. 8 00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:31,065 CAREER DAY? 9 00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:33,301 WHAT CAREER DAY? I'VE HEARD NOTHING OF THIS. 10 00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:36,170 IT'S NOTHING, DICK. IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF BORES 11 00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:38,172 BLABBING ON ABOUT WHAT THEY DO. 12 00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:39,941 YOU WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED. 13 00:00:39,974 --> 00:00:44,178 WAIT. DICK NOT INTERESTED IN TALKING ABOUT HIMSELF? 14 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:46,981 I KNOW! THAT'S INSANE. 15 00:00:47,616 --> 00:00:48,750 OH, DON'T BE SILLY, TOMMY. 16 00:00:48,783 --> 00:00:50,852 ONCE YOUR CLASSMATES HEAR ME SPEAK, 17 00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:52,220 YOU'LL BE THE TOAST OF THE SCHOOL. 18 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:53,822 ARE YOU KIDDING, DICK? 19 00:00:53,855 --> 00:00:55,690 YOU'RE A PHYSICS PROFESSOR. 20 00:00:55,724 --> 00:00:58,559 I MEAN, THAT'S ALMOST AS DORKY AS... 21 00:01:02,831 --> 00:01:03,832 I GOT NOTHING. 22 00:01:03,865 --> 00:01:05,466 I'M STUMPED. 23 00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:06,801 THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! 24 00:01:06,835 --> 00:01:08,770 I'M WISE. I'M REVERED. 25 00:01:08,803 --> 00:01:11,539 AND I WORK DAMN HARD! WHO DO YOU THINK PUTS FOOD ON THE TABLE? 26 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:12,406 I PUT IT THERE. 27 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:13,942 I'M GOING WITH AMERICA'S FARMERS. 28 00:01:13,975 --> 00:01:15,276 THERE'S FOOD ON THE TABLE? 29 00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:16,678 OH, NOW, STOP IT. 30 00:01:16,711 --> 00:01:18,379 IF YOU PEOPLE THINK IT'S SO EASY, 31 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:21,816 WHY DON'T YOU GET A JOB AND WORK FOR A CHANGE? 32 00:01:21,850 --> 00:01:23,584 I'M GLAD THAT WAS A QUESTION AND NOT AN ORDER. 33 00:01:23,618 --> 00:01:25,419 Dick: IT'S AN ORDER! 34 00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:27,455 WELL, I'M GLAD IT'S AN ORDER AND NOT A DIRECT ORDER. 35 00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:29,590 Dick: IT'S A DIRECT ORDER! 36 00:01:29,624 --> 00:01:30,959 I'M GLAD IT'S A DIRECT ORDER-- 37 00:01:30,992 --> 00:01:33,494 Dick: GO GET THE WANT ADS! 38 00:02:09,931 --> 00:02:11,065 HEY, GUYS. 39 00:02:11,099 --> 00:02:11,866 IS DICK HERE? 40 00:02:11,900 --> 00:02:12,934 NO. 41 00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:14,235 I WANTED TO TALK TO HIM. 42 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,069 WHY? 43 00:02:15,103 --> 00:02:16,437 WELL, I'M LOOKING FOR WORK. 44 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,740 THERE WERE SOME SWEET GIGS ON THE PENDELTON RESEARCH BOARD, 45 00:02:18,773 --> 00:02:21,009 BUT I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE TO DO, LIKE HERE. 46 00:02:21,042 --> 00:02:24,779 I CAN GET 50 BUCKS IF I LET THEM RUB SOLVENTS IN MY EYES. 47 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,983 OH, SALLY, THAT--THAT'S NOT GOOD. 48 00:02:29,017 --> 00:02:31,953 REALLY? WELL, I COULD SIGN UP FOR THE HORNET STING STUDY, 49 00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:34,989 BUT I DIDN'T BRING A SWIMSUIT. 50 00:02:35,023 --> 00:02:37,859 DR. ALBRIGHT IS LOOKING FOR A RESEARCH ASSISTANT. 51 00:02:37,892 --> 00:02:38,727 REALLY?! 52 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:40,294 UH... 53 00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:42,230 YES, BUT IT'S JUST GRUNT WORK. 54 00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:45,066 I MEAN, IT DOESN'T PAY HORNET STUDY MONEY. 55 00:02:45,099 --> 00:02:46,634 OH, THAT'S OK. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO? 56 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:50,504 UH, WELL, I'M GIVING A TALK NEXT WEEK AT THE FACULTY CLUB. 57 00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:52,240 SOME BOLIVIAN PROFESSORS WILL BE THERE, 58 00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:56,277 AND I'M GOING TO BE DISCUSSING THE CULTURE OF THE AYMARA INDIANS. 59 00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,279 AND I'M YOUR DATE? 60 00:02:59,047 --> 00:03:00,782 NO, YOU'RE MY FACT CHECKER. 61 00:03:00,815 --> 00:03:04,886 YOU JUST GO TO THE LIBRARY AND MAKE SURE ALL MY INFORMATION IS ACCURATE. 62 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:07,756 HMM, I WOULD'VE GONE WITH THE HORNETS. 63 00:03:07,789 --> 00:03:08,823 GOOD MORNING, MARY. 64 00:03:08,857 --> 00:03:09,557 GOOD MORNING. 65 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:10,759 SALLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 66 00:03:10,792 --> 00:03:13,194 OH, I'M DOING SOME ANTHROPOLOGY STUFF FOR ALBRIGHT. 67 00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:14,395 YOU'RE WHAT? 68 00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:14,996 SEE YA, BOSS. 69 00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:17,331 WELL, THAT'S JUST GREAT! 70 00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:20,434 YOU NEVER SHOW ANY INTEREST IN PHYSICS! 71 00:03:20,468 --> 00:03:23,337 WELL, DICK, THERE'S GOOD REASON FOR THAT. 72 00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:25,473 IT'S PHYSICS. 73 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:27,641 LIKE ANTHROPOLOGY IS SO HOT? 74 00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:29,010 I MEAN, SURE, THERE'S NAKED PEOPLE, 75 00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:31,813 BUT...ONCE YOU GET PAST THAT, 76 00:03:31,846 --> 00:03:34,348 IT'S REALLY JUST... 77 00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:36,250 WHAT? 78 00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:39,320 I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T GET PAST THE NAKED PEOPLE. 79 00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:49,630 YOU KNOW HOW THEY SAY IF YOU REALLY WANT A JOB, 80 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:52,733 IT'LL JUST FALL RIGHT IN YOUR LAP? 81 00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:55,669 UH, NO. 82 00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:59,841 AND HOW DESPERATION IS THE SUREST ROAD TO SUCCESS. 83 00:03:59,874 --> 00:04:02,176 I NEVER HEARD THAT. 84 00:04:02,210 --> 00:04:04,813 WHY DO THEY SAY THOSE THINGS? WHY? 85 00:04:04,846 --> 00:04:07,548 I'M NOT SURE THEY DO. 86 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,583 I FELL FOR THE LIES. 87 00:04:09,617 --> 00:04:12,286 POUNDED THE PAVEMENT, AND NOW HERE I AM. 88 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,056 THERE ARE NO JOBS FOR GUYS LIKE ME. 89 00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:17,892 YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A NEW BARTENDER FOR A WHILE NOW. 90 00:04:17,926 --> 00:04:22,964 DO YOU MIND, BUDDY? WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MY PROBLEMS NOW. 91 00:04:22,997 --> 00:04:25,967 I'M SAYING I NEED SOMEBODY TO START TODAY. 92 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,904 UH, YEAH. WELL, I GUESS YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK. 93 00:04:29,938 --> 00:04:31,405 WHY, WHAT DO YOU GOT GOING ON? 94 00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:35,209 I'M LOOKING FOR A JOB, BRAINIAC! 95 00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:38,279 MORNING, CLASS, I'M... 96 00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:39,647 SORRY I'M... 97 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,349 SO LATE. 98 00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:42,716 A FUNNY THING HAPPENED TODAY. 99 00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:45,519 I LEARNED THAT THERE IS A, UH, A... 100 00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:46,888 SMALL GROUP OF PEOPLE 101 00:04:46,921 --> 00:04:50,892 THAT DOESN'T FIND PHYSICS ABSOLUTELY EXHILARATING. 102 00:04:52,226 --> 00:04:54,295 ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS? 103 00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:00,734 EXACTLY. 104 00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:01,769 SO I WAS WONDERING, 105 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,304 WHAT DROVE YOU TO TAKE IT? 106 00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:04,138 IT'S REQUIRED. 107 00:05:04,172 --> 00:05:05,806 AND WE WANT TO GRADUATE. 108 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:09,077 SO THAT'S ALL THAT BRINGS YOU BACK TO MY CLASS, A REQUIREMENT? 109 00:05:09,110 --> 00:05:12,580 NOT ONE OF YOU YEARNS FOR A CAREER IN PHYSICS? 110 00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:17,986 NOT ONE SOUL LONGS TO MAKE PHYSICS HIS LIFEWORK? 111 00:05:20,254 --> 00:05:22,723 NOT ONE AMONG YOU ASPIRES TO PLACE PHYSICS-- 112 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:23,624 DR. SOLOMON. 113 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:27,461 LEON, PLEASE, TELL ME YOU HAVE TO PEE. 114 00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:30,531 GUESS WHAT. 115 00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:31,299 WHAT? 116 00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:33,701 I FOUND A MISTAKE IN YOUR SPEECH. 117 00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:37,438 OH...OK. LET'S HEAR IT. 118 00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:41,075 OK. THIS IS SO GREAT. OK. 119 00:05:41,109 --> 00:05:42,944 HERE ON PAGE 2, 120 00:05:42,977 --> 00:05:45,846 YOU SAY THERE AREN'T ANY AYMARAN COMMUNITIES ON THE HIGH PLAINS, 121 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,549 BUT DIRKSON'S SURVEY SAYS THERE ARE. 122 00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:49,483 NO, THERE AREN'T. 123 00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:52,020 DIRKSON SAYS THERE ARE. 124 00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:55,223 ALL RIGHT. MAYBE THERE'S ONE OR 2, 125 00:05:55,256 --> 00:05:56,424 BUT MY POINT STILL STANDS. 126 00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:58,326 NO. OK, BUT DIRKSON SAYS-- 127 00:05:58,359 --> 00:06:00,728 FORGET DIRKSON! 128 00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:03,097 JUST GO BACK THERE AND CONCENTRATE ON-- 129 00:06:03,131 --> 00:06:08,202 ON PLACE NAMES AND SPELLINGS AND THINGS LIKE THAT. 130 00:06:08,236 --> 00:06:11,172 OK? 131 00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:14,909 MAN, WHO DIED AND MADE HER DIRKSON? 132 00:06:14,943 --> 00:06:17,111 LOOK, SALLY, IF YOU'RE GONNA WORK FOR DR. ALBRIGHT, 133 00:06:17,145 --> 00:06:19,880 THERE ARE A COUPLE OF THINGS YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND. 134 00:06:19,914 --> 00:06:22,850 ONE: SHE DOESN'T LIKE TO BE CORRECTED WHEN SHE'S WRONG. 135 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,653 AND 2: SHE'S OFTEN WRONG. 136 00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:27,621 WAIT, WAIT. SO, I SHOULDN'T TELL HER 137 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:31,392 HER BREATH SMELLS LIKE A SOCK FULL OF HORSERADISH? 138 00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:33,594 I DIDN'T. 139 00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:39,067 BUT, HEY, THAT'S MY BOSS. 140 00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:40,834 I JUST CAN'T PLEASE HIM. 141 00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:44,105 WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 142 00:06:44,138 --> 00:06:46,474 EXACTLY. I JUST CAN'T WIN. 143 00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:49,610 WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 144 00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:52,413 HEY, YOU KNOW YOU'RE RIGHT. 145 00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:53,948 TOMORROW, I'M GOING DOWN THERE, 146 00:06:53,982 --> 00:06:56,084 AND I'M GONNA TELL HIM WHAT HE CAN DO WITH HIS JOB. 147 00:06:56,117 --> 00:06:57,751 HARRY, THANKS FOR LISTENING. 148 00:06:57,785 --> 00:07:01,555 HEY, WHAT AM I GONNA DO? 149 00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:02,490 HARRY, I NEED A DRINK. 150 00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:04,025 YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE. 151 00:07:04,058 --> 00:07:06,827 I GOT THE WHOLE TOWN OF RUTHERFORD DRINKING AGAIN. 152 00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:07,595 HARRY! 153 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,630 ALL RIGHT! 154 00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:11,265 WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD? 155 00:07:11,299 --> 00:07:14,102 YOU DOLE OUT MOONSHINE TO A ROOMFUL OF BOOZEHOUNDS 156 00:07:14,135 --> 00:07:15,936 AND EVERYBODY LOVES YOU, 157 00:07:15,970 --> 00:07:19,440 WHILE I SHAPE YOUNG MINDS WITH THE ELEGANT LAWS OF PHYSICS, 158 00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:21,275 AND WHAT DO I GET? NOTHING. 159 00:07:21,309 --> 00:07:23,044 HERE'S THE DEAL, DICK. 160 00:07:23,077 --> 00:07:25,879 AROUND HERE, A GUY CAN'T EVEN GIVE PEACH SCHNAPPS AWAY. 161 00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:30,918 BUT YOU PUT IT IN A PINEAPPLE GLASS, ADD A LITTLE UMBRELLA, 162 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:34,122 CALL IT A SHOOTER, I CAN'T MAKE 'EM FAST ENOUGH. 163 00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:36,924 HARRY, THAT'S BRILLIANT! 164 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,860 YOU'RE SAYING I GOTTA GIVE PHYSICS A LITTLE RAZZLE-DAZZLE, 165 00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:40,694 RIGHT? 166 00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:42,596 OK. 167 00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:44,332 OF COURSE! THIS IS THE NINETIES. 168 00:07:44,365 --> 00:07:47,668 KIDS WANT WHAT'S COOL. THEY WANT THE LATEST, THE HERE AND NOW. 169 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,003 THEY WANT THE FONZ! 170 00:07:49,037 --> 00:07:51,339 AYYY! 171 00:07:51,372 --> 00:07:53,574 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 172 00:07:54,042 --> 00:07:55,376 I'M GOING TO CAREER DAY! 173 00:07:55,409 --> 00:07:59,647 ALL RIGHT! YOU DO THAT! 174 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,982 WHAT AN IDIOT. 175 00:08:02,416 --> 00:08:05,386 HARRY, DID SOME JOKER PUT MY NUMBER UP 176 00:08:05,419 --> 00:08:07,088 ON THE MEN'S ROOM WALL? 177 00:08:07,121 --> 00:08:08,356 I DON'T THINK SO. 178 00:08:08,389 --> 00:08:12,093 WELL, BE A DOLL AND PUT IT UP THERE, WILL YA... 179 00:08:12,126 --> 00:08:15,796 BEFORE THAT BIG GUY WITH THE BEARD TAKES A LEAK? 180 00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:19,467 HI. AM I INTERRUPTING? 181 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,369 NO. COME IN. 182 00:08:21,402 --> 00:08:23,571 WHAT'S WRONG? FIND ANOTHER MISTAKE? 183 00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:25,573 NO. NOTHING. 184 00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:26,607 REALLY? 185 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,676 REALLY. I WENT THROUGH IT WITH A FINE-TOOTH COMB. 186 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:29,943 THIS BABY IS GOLD. 187 00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:31,612 GREAT. 188 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,281 WHAT ABOUT THE POPULATION OF CIRCUATA? 189 00:08:33,314 --> 00:08:35,149 I WAS JUST GUESSING ON IT. 190 00:08:35,183 --> 00:08:36,550 THAT WAS A GUESS? 191 00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:38,786 YOU NAILED IT! 192 00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:42,490 WELL, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN PRETTY GOOD WITH TRENDS 193 00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:44,692 IN THAT PART OF THE HEMISPHERE. 194 00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:45,859 LISTEN, I GOTTA TELL YOU, 195 00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:48,496 AFTER READING DIRKSON, YOUR STUFF WAS REFRESHING. 196 00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:53,801 BUT SUBSTANTIAL, LIKE, UH, GATORADE, BUT WITH MEAT IN IT. 197 00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:57,505 SALLY, LET ME BUY YOU LUNCH. 198 00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:58,639 WE CAN GO TO THE OAK ROOM. 199 00:08:58,672 --> 00:08:59,973 THE OAK ROOM? 200 00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,709 YOU DESERVE A TREAT. 201 00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,577 WELL, I SPENT THE DAY WITH YOUR SPEECH. 202 00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:05,713 I THINK I'VE HAD MY TREAT. 203 00:09:08,216 --> 00:09:11,185 DEAR GOD! 204 00:09:11,219 --> 00:09:13,087 THEY HAVE CHOCOLATE CHEESECAKE. 205 00:09:13,121 --> 00:09:16,457 OF COURSE, I SHOULD PROBABLY JUST APPLY IT DIRECTLY TO MY THIGHS. 206 00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:18,426 HA HA HA HA HA HA! 207 00:09:18,459 --> 00:09:20,694 THAT'S OH SO FUNNY! 208 00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:27,201 OH, YEAH. ALL RIGHT. 209 00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:31,939 STEP RIGHT UP, KIDS, AND MEET THE GIRLS OF PHYSICS. 210 00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:35,176 EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM A BUNDLE OF MASS AND ENERGY. 211 00:09:35,209 --> 00:09:37,278 ARE YOU REALLY A LICENSED BIKINI INSPECTOR? 212 00:09:37,311 --> 00:09:41,382 UH, KIND OF. I'M A PHYSICS PROFESSOR, YOU UNDERSTAND? 213 00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:43,984 NOW, FRIENDS, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT A LITTLE THING CALLED PHYSICS. 214 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:46,154 YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES A CAR GO FAST? PHYSICS. 215 00:09:46,187 --> 00:09:49,623 AND YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES A CURVE BALL CURVE? WHY, PHYSICS! 216 00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:51,292 AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOT ME STANDING HERE 217 00:09:51,325 --> 00:09:53,361 INSTEAD OF FLOATING OUT THE WINDOW LIKE A PUFF OF SMOKE? 218 00:09:53,394 --> 00:09:54,762 INERTIA, WITH A CAPITAL "I". 219 00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,430 THAT RHYMES WITH pi, AND THAT STARTS WITH "P", 220 00:09:56,464 --> 00:09:59,533 AND THAT STANDS FOR PHYSICS. 221 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:04,472 YOUR FATHER IS AN INSULT TO THIS ENTIRE SCHOOL. 222 00:10:04,505 --> 00:10:05,606 I DON'T SEE YOUR DAD HERE. 223 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:10,311 UH, MY DAD IS PERFORMING OPEN-HEART SURGERY RIGHT NOW. 224 00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:14,848 OH, COULDN'T CUT IT AS A BRAIN SURGEON? 225 00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:17,518 NOW, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT SOMETHING THAT'S REALLY HOT. 226 00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:20,754 INASMUCH AS "E" EQUALS COSINE "M" PLUS "I" SINE "M", 227 00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:22,956 WE GET ARBITRARY VALUES OF THE SEPARATION CONSTANT "P". 228 00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:23,691 NOW, WATCH THIS. 229 00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,359 I'M SORRY I'M LATE, KIDS, 230 00:10:25,393 --> 00:10:29,397 BUT I WAS INVOLVED IN ONE OF THE WORLD'S SCARIEST POLICE CHASES. 231 00:10:29,430 --> 00:10:30,298 HOW'D IT END? 232 00:10:30,331 --> 00:10:31,565 THE GUY GOT AWAY. 233 00:10:31,599 --> 00:10:32,433 OH! 234 00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,902 BUT I ROLLED MY CAR. 235 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:37,037 COOL! COOL! 236 00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,439 OH, MAN, I WANT TO BE A COP. 237 00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:42,109 IT'S NOT ALL GLAMOUR, KIDS, BUT IT'S MOSTLY GLAMOUR. 238 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,178 OH, AND, UH, GUNS. 239 00:10:44,212 --> 00:10:46,079 COOL! COOL! 240 00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:49,683 AND WHAT MAKES THAT POLICEMAN'S GUN SO COOL? PHYSICS! 241 00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:51,285 KINETIC ENERGY GENERATES THE VELOCITY 242 00:10:51,319 --> 00:10:53,020 WITH WHICH THE BULLET EXITS THE BARREL, 243 00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:55,223 WHILE THE BALLISTIC COEFFICIENT AND SECTIONAL DENSITY 244 00:10:55,256 --> 00:10:57,391 DETERMINE THE DAMAGE TO ITS TARGETS. 245 00:10:57,425 --> 00:11:00,828 GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE. PHYSICS KILLS PEOPLE! 246 00:11:02,563 --> 00:11:06,099 OOH...OHH! 247 00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:21,515 TONY! 248 00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:34,362 DICK, I TOLD YOU, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME TO CAREER DAY. 249 00:11:34,395 --> 00:11:37,298 OH, WHEN WE FIRST CAME TO THIS PLANET, I COULD'VE GOTTEN ANY JOB. 250 00:11:37,331 --> 00:11:41,235 COWBOY, ROCK STAR, INTERNATIONAL SUPERSPY. 251 00:11:41,269 --> 00:11:42,970 WHY DID I CHOOSE PHYSICS? 252 00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:45,306 DICK, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. 253 00:11:45,339 --> 00:11:46,907 WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, 254 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:51,011 JUST SHUT UP AND EAT THE DAMN LEMONS. 255 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,079 WELL, I'VE HAD IT. 256 00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:54,715 I RENOUNCE PHYSICS AND ALL ITS USES AND APPLICATIONS, 257 00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,650 INCLUDING CONSERVATION OF MOMENTUM. 258 00:11:56,684 --> 00:11:57,217 WOO HOO HOO. 259 00:11:57,251 --> 00:11:59,620 I'M OUT. I'M OUT. 260 00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:00,488 HEY, GUYS. 261 00:12:00,521 --> 00:12:01,989 HEY. YO, DOOBIE. 262 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,156 GIVE ME A MARGARITA, HARRY. 263 00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:04,157 WHAT ABOUT YOUR JOB? 264 00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:05,426 I'M ON THE JOB RIGHT NOW, BABY. 265 00:12:05,459 --> 00:12:07,495 ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT MARY'S PRESENTATION IS ALREADY PERFECT? 266 00:12:07,528 --> 00:12:10,230 WELL, SHE THINKS IT IS, AND I'M GETTING PAID NOT TO ARGUE. KA-CHING! 267 00:12:10,264 --> 00:12:11,432 [DING] 268 00:12:11,465 --> 00:12:12,966 YOU GOT LUCKY, DAMN YOU. 269 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,868 I'LL TELL YOU THE SECRET. YOU JUST PUCKER UP, 270 00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:18,372 VAPOR-LOCK ONTO YOUR BOSS'S BUTT, AND HOLD ON. 271 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,475 NO INDEPENDENT THOUGHT REQUIRED. 272 00:12:21,509 --> 00:12:23,344 IN FACT, IT JUST GETS IN YOUR WAY. 273 00:12:23,377 --> 00:12:26,179 FREE THINKERS DIE IN THE DIRT LIKE DOGS, SALLY. 274 00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:27,981 HERE'S YOUR BOOZE. 275 00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:28,782 SALLY. 276 00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:31,519 DOOBIE, MY HOLLOW-LEGGED LADY FRIEND. 277 00:12:31,552 --> 00:12:34,588 ONE-EYED JIMMY'S GONNA GO OUT BACK AND FIGHT A MIDGET. 278 00:12:34,622 --> 00:12:35,489 YOU WANNA WATCH? 279 00:12:35,523 --> 00:12:37,725 YEAH. LET'S GO. 280 00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:38,659 CITIZENS. 281 00:12:38,692 --> 00:12:40,394 Everyone: DON! 282 00:12:40,428 --> 00:12:41,695 AH, WHAT'LL IT BE, OFFICER? 283 00:12:41,729 --> 00:12:44,197 OH, I'M JUST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD CHECKING THINGS OUT. 284 00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:45,899 YOU GOT IT. ONE FREE CHEESEBURGER. 285 00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:47,768 DON'T BE STINGY WITH THE ONIONS. 286 00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:49,002 HARRY, I'D LIKE A FREE CHEESEBURGER. 287 00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:50,471 YOU GOT IT. THAT'LL BE 6 BUCKS. 288 00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:52,873 OH! THAT'S IT! I WANT A NEW JOB! 289 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:56,477 A JOB THAT COMES WITH RESPECT, STATURE, AND FREE CHEESEBURGERS. 290 00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:57,611 I WANT YOUR JOB. 291 00:12:57,645 --> 00:13:00,280 DICK, YOU DON'T KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT BEING A COP. 292 00:13:00,314 --> 00:13:04,818 IT'S A GRITTY JOB, WHERE A GOOD DAY IS ONE WHERE YOU COME HOME ALIVE. 293 00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:08,121 ISN'T THAT PRETTY MUCH A GOOD DAY FOR ANYONE? 294 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,425 [POLICE RADIO CALL] 295 00:13:11,459 --> 00:13:12,726 I GOTTA GO BACK TO THE STATION. 296 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:13,661 THEY'RE BRINGING IN A SUSPECT. 297 00:13:13,694 --> 00:13:15,028 HEY, DON, I WANT TO GO. 298 00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:17,498 I WANT TO HOLD A GUN AND FLASH A BADGE. 299 00:13:17,531 --> 00:13:19,500 I DON'T KNOW, DICK. IT'S ILLEGAL, IT'S DANGEROUS, 300 00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:23,103 AND IT VIOLATES THE SACRED OATH I TOOK WHEN I JOINED THE FORCE. 301 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:24,505 SO DON'T TELL ANYONE. 302 00:13:24,538 --> 00:13:26,374 LET'S GO! 303 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,244 ALL RIGHT, DICK. WE'RE GONNA GO IN THERE. 304 00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:33,246 WE'RE GONNA DO A LITTLE THING WE LIKE TO CALL 305 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,248 "GOOD COP, BAD COP." 306 00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:36,650 YOU'RE GOOD COP. 307 00:13:36,684 --> 00:13:37,685 I'M DOWN WITH THAT. 308 00:13:37,718 --> 00:13:40,554 I'M GLAD. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. 309 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:47,461 HI, JONESY, I'M DICK. I LIKE YOUR SHIRT. 310 00:13:48,596 --> 00:13:52,299 SO, YOU SAY THAT YOU DIDN'T ROB ANY GAS STATION. 311 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,834 RIGHT, JONESY? YEAH. 312 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:55,703 RIGHT. NOW, I... 313 00:13:55,736 --> 00:13:57,571 I BELIEVE YOU, BUT... 314 00:13:57,605 --> 00:13:58,939 THE THING IS... 315 00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:00,508 YOU'RE SCUM! 316 00:14:00,541 --> 00:14:02,443 I FIND CHUNKS OF YOU IN MY PUKE! 317 00:14:02,476 --> 00:14:03,911 SO DON'T YOU JERK ME AROUND! 318 00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,579 DICK! 319 00:14:05,613 --> 00:14:07,481 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 320 00:14:09,617 --> 00:14:10,718 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD COP. 321 00:14:10,751 --> 00:14:12,052 I AM! 322 00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:14,755 YOU'RE RAISING THE BAR TOO HIGH. YOU KNOW HOW BAD I HAVE TO BE NOW? 323 00:14:14,788 --> 00:14:16,557 REAL BAD! 324 00:14:16,590 --> 00:14:17,691 I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF. 325 00:14:17,725 --> 00:14:19,226 WHY DON'T YOU BE GOOD COP? 326 00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:23,063 THAT WAY, I CAN GO AS BIG AS I WANT. 327 00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,466 OK, I'LL BE GOOD COP. 328 00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:30,571 OH, WELL, YOU'LL HAVE TO, UH, EXCUSE MY PARTNER. 329 00:14:30,604 --> 00:14:32,640 HE'S GOT A REAL MEAN STREAK, 330 00:14:32,673 --> 00:14:35,709 BUT...I WANT TO HELP YOU OUT. 331 00:14:35,743 --> 00:14:37,745 SEE, I KNOW THAT YOU'RE A NICE... 332 00:14:37,778 --> 00:14:39,480 OH! 333 00:14:40,414 --> 00:14:42,550 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 334 00:14:42,583 --> 00:14:43,451 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? 335 00:14:43,484 --> 00:14:44,818 I'M ALWAYS GOOD COP. 336 00:14:44,852 --> 00:14:46,754 THIS WAS MY ONE CHANCE TO BE BAD COP. 337 00:14:46,787 --> 00:14:48,288 BUT I'M A BAD GOOD COP. 338 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:49,022 YOU'RE NOT EVEN A COP! 339 00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:51,124 WELL, CAN'T WE BOTH BE BAD COP? 340 00:14:51,158 --> 00:14:53,427 BUT THE WHOLE CONCEPT IS... 341 00:14:53,461 --> 00:14:55,629 OH, WHATEVER. 342 00:14:57,965 --> 00:14:58,966 NOW, I WANT ANSWERS! 343 00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:01,569 AND I REALLY WANT ANSWERS! 344 00:15:04,538 --> 00:15:05,939 HOW DO I LOOK? 345 00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:07,875 YOU LOOK FINE. 346 00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:10,410 I LOVE BOLIVIAN MEN. 347 00:15:10,444 --> 00:15:13,881 THEY'RE LIKE HONDURANS, WITHOUT ALL THE ATTITUDE. 348 00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:14,948 GOOD AFTERNOON, LADIES. 349 00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:16,416 OHH, DR. ALBRIGHT, 350 00:15:16,450 --> 00:15:17,551 WHAT A GREAT SUIT! 351 00:15:17,585 --> 00:15:20,788 WELL, THANK YOU, SALLY. 352 00:15:20,821 --> 00:15:24,257 SALLY, YOU SMELL LIKE JAGERMEISTER. 353 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:28,295 SOMEBODY SPILLED IT ON ME IN THE LIBRARY. 354 00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,898 WELL, ONCE AGAIN, I WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY. 355 00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:31,799 IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER, 356 00:15:31,832 --> 00:15:34,635 I'D SWEAR YOU WERE A MORON. 357 00:15:37,471 --> 00:15:38,238 AYMARAN. 358 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,974 AYMARAN. 359 00:15:44,745 --> 00:15:46,647 COME ON. WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS. 360 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,816 YOU DID IT, RIGHT? 361 00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:50,851 NO. 362 00:15:50,884 --> 00:15:51,885 COME ON. 363 00:15:51,919 --> 00:15:54,121 YOU CAN TELL US. 364 00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:56,289 NO. I DIDN'T DO IT. 365 00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,731 WELL, SO MUCH FOR GOOD COP, GOOD COP. 366 00:16:03,764 --> 00:16:05,165 THERE'S NO SUCH THING! 367 00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,200 I TOLD YOU, THERE'S ONLY ONE PERMUTATION THAT WORKS. 368 00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:09,202 OK. I HAVE THIS IDEA. 369 00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:11,338 SAD COP, SOMEWHAT EFFEMINATE COP. 370 00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:12,573 GET OUT! 371 00:16:12,606 --> 00:16:13,607 GO HOME, DICK. 372 00:16:13,641 --> 00:16:14,842 YOU ARE NOT COP MATERIAL. 373 00:16:14,875 --> 00:16:15,776 I HA TO BE! 374 00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:17,545 IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S JUST NOT YOU. 375 00:16:17,578 --> 00:16:18,779 YOU'RE RIGHT. 376 00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,614 APPARENTLY, I WAS PUT ON THIS EARTH 377 00:16:20,648 --> 00:16:24,117 TO BORE A BUNCH OF UNRECEPTIVE DIMWITS TO THE END OF MY DAYS. 378 00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,586 IT'S MY LOT IN LIFE. 379 00:16:25,619 --> 00:16:29,089 WELL, I THINK WE BOTH LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY. LET'S HAVE LUNCH SOMETIME. 380 00:16:30,257 --> 00:16:31,158 LOOK... 381 00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:32,626 WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET ME GO? 382 00:16:32,660 --> 00:16:34,762 BECAUSE I KNOW YOU DID IT, JONESY! 383 00:16:34,795 --> 00:16:37,297 YOU JUMPED THE FENCE, AND YOU STOLE THE MONEY. 384 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,666 BUT YOU GOT NO PROOF. 385 00:16:38,699 --> 00:16:41,702 BESIDES, I COULDN'T JUMP THAT FENCE. 386 00:16:41,735 --> 00:16:43,704 IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. 387 00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:47,775 PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE? 388 00:16:47,808 --> 00:16:49,577 THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG. 389 00:16:49,610 --> 00:16:52,145 YOU MAY NOT HAVE MUCH RESPECT FOR THE LAW, JONESY, 390 00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:54,114 BUT THERE'S ONE LAW THAT YOU CAN'T BREAK: 391 00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:58,451 COULOMB'S THIRD LAW OF UNIVERSAL GRAVITATION. 392 00:16:58,485 --> 00:16:59,386 WHAT? 393 00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,288 IT STATES THAT THE FORCE BETWEEN 2 OBJECTS 394 00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:04,892 IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE ALGEBRAIC PRODUCTS OF THEIR RESPECTIVE CHARGES, 395 00:17:04,925 --> 00:17:06,927 AS WELL AS PROPORTIONAL TO THE INVERSE SQUARE 396 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,529 OF THE DISTANCE BETWEEN THEM! 397 00:17:09,563 --> 00:17:12,900 BUT OF COURSE, YOU KNEW THAT, DIDN'T YOU, JONESY? 398 00:17:12,933 --> 00:17:15,535 NOT--NOT ALL OF IT. 399 00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:17,971 YOU'RE OBJECT "X," 400 00:17:18,005 --> 00:17:19,773 AND THE FENCE IS OBJECT "Y." 401 00:17:19,807 --> 00:17:22,209 NOW, WHERE "V" IS THE VELOCITY OF THE 2 OBJECTS, 402 00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:23,777 AND "R" IS THE DISTANCE BETWEEN THEM, 403 00:17:23,811 --> 00:17:27,347 AND "E" IS A UNIT VECTOR DIRECTED FROM THE FIRST OBJECT TO THE SECOND, 404 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,983 WE SEE THAT THE FENCE PROVED LITTLE CHALLENGE. 405 00:17:30,017 --> 00:17:31,084 WELL...I GUESS. 406 00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:33,954 YOU GUESS! I BET YOU GUESS. 407 00:17:33,987 --> 00:17:36,489 AND SO WE SEE THAT "X" EQUALS ZERO 408 00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:39,059 AS "Y" APPROACHES INFINITY! 409 00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,861 THAT'S HOW YOU AVOIDED THE SECURITY CAMERA. 410 00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:43,163 THAT'S HOW YOU MANAGED TO GET BACK OVER THE FENCE. 411 00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:46,166 THAT'S HOW THEY FOUND YOU EXACTLY 1.3 MILES FROM THE CRIME SCENE, 412 00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:47,635 PROVING THAT YOU AND ONLY YOU 413 00:17:47,668 --> 00:17:49,502 COULD HAVE PERPETRATED THIS HEINOUS CRIME! 414 00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:50,303 THERE'S THE PROOF! 415 00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:52,606 OK! OK! OK! YOU GOT ME! 416 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,742 I DID IT! I DID IT! 417 00:17:54,775 --> 00:17:56,877 MY GOD! WHAT KIND OF A COP ARE YOU? 418 00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:58,445 I'M NOT A COP! 419 00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:01,749 I'M A PHYSICS PROFESSOR! 420 00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:09,456 OF COURSE, MY DAD DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. 421 00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:10,924 HE NEVER DID. 422 00:18:10,958 --> 00:18:14,662 AND HOW DID THAT MAKE YOU FEEL, CHET? 423 00:18:14,695 --> 00:18:16,563 ANGRY. 424 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:17,665 WORTHLESS. 425 00:18:17,698 --> 00:18:22,369 OH. BUT YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE, NOW DON'T YOU, CHET? 426 00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:25,739 YEAH...YEAH, I DO. ALL RIGHT! 427 00:18:25,773 --> 00:18:26,239 [SIGHS] WELL... 428 00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:26,974 [DING] 429 00:18:27,007 --> 00:18:29,042 HAPPY HOUR'S OVER, CHET. 430 00:18:29,076 --> 00:18:30,878 BUT I THINK WE MADE SOME REAL PROGRESS. 431 00:18:30,911 --> 00:18:32,412 I FEEL BETTER. 432 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,214 YEAH. AND JUST REMEMBER... 433 00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:36,149 DON'T STOP DRINKING. 434 00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:36,950 THANKS, HARRY. 435 00:18:36,984 --> 00:18:38,018 ALL RIGHT, BUDDY. 436 00:18:39,987 --> 00:18:41,321 LINE 'EM UP, HARRY. 437 00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:42,622 5 MARTINIS. 438 00:18:42,656 --> 00:18:43,590 NO, HARRY. 439 00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:46,026 DR. ALBRIGHT, WE SHOULD TAKE YOU HOME NOW. 440 00:18:46,059 --> 00:18:49,562 NO, NINA. I HAVE BRAIN CELLS THAT WILL REMEMBER THIS EVENING, 441 00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:52,432 AND I WANT THEM DESTROYED! 442 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,334 HEY, DR. ALBRIGHT, HOW DID YOUR TALK GO? 443 00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,469 HOW DID MY TALK GO? 444 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:58,271 LET'S SEE. 445 00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:00,040 FIRST OF ALL, 446 00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:01,474 THE BOLIVIANS WERE HIGHLY AMUSED 447 00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,276 WHEN I CONFUSED THE NAME OF THEIR PRESIDENT 448 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:06,980 WITH THE WORD FOR KAYAK. 449 00:19:07,014 --> 00:19:09,783 BUT THEY STOPPED LAUGHING WHEN... 450 00:19:09,817 --> 00:19:13,353 IN THEIR NATIVE TONGUE, I WELCOMED THEM TO MY... 451 00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:17,991 WOMANY PLACE AND TOLD THEM... 452 00:19:18,025 --> 00:19:21,962 I TOLD THEM THERE WAS ROOM FOR EVERYONE! 453 00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:24,698 TELL HER HOW YOU TOLD THEM THAT THEIR COUNTRY WAS A... 454 00:19:24,732 --> 00:19:27,835 SHINING EXAMPLE OF GOAT DEATH. 455 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:32,072 I HOPE THIS ISN'T IN ANY WAY MY FAULT. 456 00:19:32,105 --> 00:19:33,140 IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! 457 00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:35,208 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CHECK THESE THINGS! 458 00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:37,778 YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. I LET YOU DOWN COMPLETELY. 459 00:19:37,811 --> 00:19:40,447 YES, YOU DID! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? 460 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,416 I HAVE NO EXCUSE. IT'S JUST--IT'S JUST... 461 00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:46,319 REALLY INTIMIDATING WHEN YOU WORK FOR... 462 00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:47,921 FOR WHAT? 463 00:19:47,955 --> 00:19:50,123 SAY IT. 464 00:19:50,157 --> 00:19:52,325 A BITCH?! 465 00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:54,962 NO. 466 00:19:54,995 --> 00:19:57,297 A GENIUS! 467 00:20:05,773 --> 00:20:07,540 WELL, THAT'S NICE, BUT... 468 00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:08,641 I'M A PROFESSIONAL, 469 00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:10,878 AND I EXPECT OTHER PEOPLE TO BE PROFESSIONAL WITH ME. 470 00:20:10,911 --> 00:20:12,379 OF COURSE YOU DO. 471 00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,547 GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE? 472 00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:17,918 I'VE LET DOWN THE BRIGHTEST WOMAN ALIVE! 473 00:20:17,951 --> 00:20:18,852 OH, GOD! 474 00:20:18,886 --> 00:20:21,621 [SOBBING] 475 00:20:24,958 --> 00:20:26,960 OH, SALLY... 476 00:20:26,994 --> 00:20:29,029 DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP. 477 00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:31,098 LET ME BUY YOU A DRINK. 478 00:20:31,131 --> 00:20:32,499 MARGARITA--ROCKS. NO SALT. 479 00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:35,035 HARRY! [DING] 480 00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:40,673 AND SO, USING COULOMB'S THIRD LAW, 481 00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:42,609 I WAS ABLE TO PROVE THAT HE DID IT. 482 00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:43,977 WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH IT? 483 00:20:44,011 --> 00:20:45,045 NOTHING. 484 00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:47,347 ALL I PROVED WAS THAT HE'S ROTATING AROUND THE SUN. 485 00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:49,416 BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 486 00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:50,517 THAT'S THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT PHYSICS. 487 00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:52,886 NOBODY UNDERSTANDS IT. 488 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:55,956 SO YOU CAN USE YOUR KNOWLEDGE TO BULLY PEOPLE INTO SUBMISSION. 489 00:20:55,989 --> 00:20:57,657 WELL, THAT'S THE PLAN. 490 00:20:57,690 --> 00:21:00,928 AS LONG AS AMERICA'S EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM REMAINS WOEFULLY INADEQUATE, 491 00:21:00,961 --> 00:21:02,863 I RULE. 492 00:21:02,896 --> 00:21:04,431 YES, YOU REALLY DO. 493 00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:05,866 WHAT YOU DO IS AMAZING. 494 00:21:05,899 --> 00:21:07,634 THANK YOU, SALLY. 495 00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:08,601 SOMETIMES I WISH YOU WERE DEAD 496 00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:11,271 SO THEY COULD PUT YOU ON A STAMP. 497 00:21:13,073 --> 00:21:15,876 SALLY, YOU'RE NOT KISSING MY BUTT, ARE YOU? 498 00:21:15,909 --> 00:21:17,710 A MAN OF YOUR STATURE? I WOULDN'T DARE. 499 00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:19,813 WELL...GOOD. HERE'S 20 BUCKS. 500 00:21:19,847 --> 00:21:21,714 THANKS. 501 00:21:26,887 --> 00:21:29,589 NOW THAT YOU'RE FEELING BETTER ABOUT YOUR CAREER AGAIN, 502 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,158 DO I HAVE TO KEEP WORKING AT THE BAR? 503 00:21:31,191 --> 00:21:32,192 NO, HARRY. 504 00:21:32,225 --> 00:21:34,928 OH, GOOD. THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH PRESSURE. 505 00:21:34,962 --> 00:21:36,729 ALL THOSE PEOPLE AND THEIR PROBLEMS. 506 00:21:36,763 --> 00:21:40,767 NO. THERE'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE IN THE SODA GUN. YOU COULD PUT AN EYE OUT. 507 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,137 WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL HIM ONE-EYED JIMMY? 508 00:21:44,171 --> 00:21:46,639 WAIT, HE LOST HIS EYE FROM SODA? 509 00:21:46,673 --> 00:21:48,909 YEAH. ROOT BEER. 510 00:21:48,942 --> 00:21:49,843 NO WONDER HE'S ANGRY. 511 00:21:49,877 --> 00:21:51,444 I WOULD BE. 512 00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:52,812 SO HOW WAS THE FIGHT? 513 00:21:52,846 --> 00:21:54,414 OH, SHORT. 36349

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.