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1
00:00:06,808 --> 00:00:08,142
Greg Gumbel: WELCOME BACK
TO SAN DIEGO, EVERYONE,
2
00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:09,711
THE SITE OF
SUPER BOWL XXXII,
3
00:00:09,744 --> 00:00:12,480
WON BY THE DENVER BRONCOS
31-24.
4
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,382
TERRELL DAVIS,
THE MOST VALUABLE--
5
00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:16,017
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
6
00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:17,552
THE BIG WOMEN ARE ANGRY!
7
00:00:17,586 --> 00:00:19,554
SAVE YOURSELVES
WHILE THERE'S STILL TIME!
8
00:00:19,588 --> 00:00:20,922
SECURITY!
I NEED SECURITY!
9
00:00:20,955 --> 00:00:22,223
NO, I'M TRYING
TO WARN YOU!
10
00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:23,457
THEY'RE ALREADY HERE!
11
00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:25,259
THEY'RE READY
TO TAKE OVER!
12
00:00:25,293 --> 00:00:26,695
Dick: HOW DID
IT HAPPEN?
13
00:00:26,728 --> 00:00:28,930
IT BEGAN SO
INNOCENTLY.
14
00:00:28,963 --> 00:00:31,032
IT WAS A DAY
LIKE ANY OTHER.
15
00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:32,601
I CAN STILL REMEMBER.
16
00:00:32,634 --> 00:00:35,403
I WAS TEACHING
A CLASS IN PHYSICS.
17
00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:36,771
HIGH COMMANDER'S LOG,
18
00:00:36,805 --> 00:00:39,941
JANUARY 12,
EARTH YEAR 1998.
19
00:00:39,974 --> 00:00:41,009
THERE ARE
SOME NEW STUDENTS
20
00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:43,044
IN MY CLASS TODAY.
21
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:44,345
I USUALLY DON'T
ALLOW STUDENTS
22
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,014
TO JOIN MY CLASS
MID-SEMESTER,
23
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:47,716
BUT I MADE AN EXCEPTION
THIS TIME
24
00:00:47,749 --> 00:00:50,719
BECAUSE THEY WALKED IN
AND SAT DOWN.
25
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:55,256
KEPLER'S THIRD LAW
STATES WHAT? CLASS?
26
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:58,292
UH, BODY IN MOTION
TENDS TO...
27
00:00:58,326 --> 00:01:00,962
STAY IN MOTION.
28
00:01:00,995 --> 00:01:03,665
NO, NO. BUG, I'M LOOKING
FOR A PLANETARY LAW.
29
00:01:03,698 --> 00:01:04,999
YEAH, PLANETS,
YOU KNOW,
30
00:01:05,033 --> 00:01:07,235
HEAVENLY BODIES?
31
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:09,638
KEPLER'S THIRD LAW.
ANYBODY.
32
00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:14,676
THE SQUARE OF A PLANET'S
PERIOD OF ORBIT
33
00:01:14,709 --> 00:01:17,311
IS PROPORTIONAL
TO THE CUBE OF ITS
AVERAGE DISTANCE
34
00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:18,579
FROM THE SUN.
35
00:01:18,613 --> 00:01:22,150
TH-TH-THAT--THAT'S
VERY GOOD, UH...
36
00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:23,517
GABRIELLA.
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00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:24,686
GABRIELLA.
38
00:01:24,719 --> 00:01:27,088
[BELL RINGS]
39
00:01:28,890 --> 00:01:32,360
SO, UH, YOU WANT TO
ORBIT AROUND MY PLANET?
40
00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:33,662
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
41
00:01:33,695 --> 00:01:35,229
YES, I DO, AND...
42
00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:36,731
YES, I WOULD.
43
00:01:36,765 --> 00:01:38,032
YOU WOULD?
44
00:01:38,066 --> 00:01:40,068
ARE YOU SURE YOU
KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
45
00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:41,569
ABSOLUTELY.
46
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:44,272
OHHHH!
47
00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:45,506
DR. SOLOMON?
48
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:48,242
GABRIELLA, IT WAS
A PLEASURE TO HAVE
YOU IN CLASS.
49
00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:51,012
I DON'T KNOW MUCH
ABOUT SCIENCE,
50
00:01:51,045 --> 00:01:53,915
BUT YOU ARE SUCH
A GOOD TEACHER.
51
00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:56,851
OH, SURE,
THAT'S WHAT I DO.
52
00:02:00,388 --> 00:02:02,256
HI. WHO'S
UNDER THE DRYER?
53
00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:04,993
FAST EDDIE'S
APPLIANCE REPAIR.
54
00:02:05,026 --> 00:02:06,560
MAKE SURE YOU GET
THE GUARANTEE.
55
00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:07,996
OK.
56
00:02:08,029 --> 00:02:08,897
SO, UH, EDDIE,
57
00:02:08,930 --> 00:02:10,564
YOU WANT A SODA
OR SOMETHING?
58
00:02:10,598 --> 00:02:12,533
YOU KNOW, IT MIGHT NOT
BE TOO COLD.
59
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:14,969
I THINK THERE'S
SOMETHING WRONG
WITH THE REFRIGERATOR.
60
00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:26,014
YOU'RE NOT EDDIE.
61
00:02:26,047 --> 00:02:27,949
NO. EDDIE
GAVE ME THE SHOP.
62
00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:29,617
WHY?
63
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,986
BECAUSE I ASKED FOR IT.
64
00:02:32,020 --> 00:02:34,388
REASONABLE.
65
00:02:34,422 --> 00:02:35,690
SO, UH,
66
00:02:35,724 --> 00:02:37,191
WOULD YOU LIKE
A SODA?
67
00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:38,760
THANKS.
68
00:02:38,793 --> 00:02:41,229
I LIKE IT WHEN MEN
GIVE ME THINGS.
69
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,565
ME, TOO.
70
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:49,603
SOMETIMES THE BARBER
GIVES ME A LOLLIPOP.
71
00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:52,573
DID YOU GO TO
THE BARBER TODAY?
72
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,642
NO.
73
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:57,345
DID YOU?
74
00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:59,580
YES.
75
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,096
Dick: HIGH COMMANDER'S LOG,
JANUARY 14.
76
00:03:15,129 --> 00:03:17,531
FOR SOME REASON,
THE MEN OF RUTHERFORD, OHIO,
77
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:20,568
ARE IN THE BEST SPIRITS
I'VE EVER SEEN.
78
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:21,402
AS FOR ME,
79
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:23,938
I'M GETTING TO KNOW
GABRIELLA BETTER.
80
00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:38,820
DICK, DON'T YOU FIND IT
JUST A LITTLE BIT ODD
81
00:03:38,853 --> 00:03:42,223
THAT A WOMAN
THAT GORGEOUS LIKES YOU?
82
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:44,325
YOU WOULDN'T
THINK IT WAS ODD
IF I WERE MICK JAGGER.
83
00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,761
YEAH, BUT MICK JAGGER'S
NOT A SMALL-TOWN
COLLEGE PROFESSOR.
84
00:03:46,795 --> 00:03:49,197
EXACTLY. AND YET
HE STILL GETS WOMEN.
85
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:51,632
NEXT TIME,
TRY THINKING BEFORE
YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
86
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:53,167
DICK, SALLY,
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00:03:53,201 --> 00:03:55,336
I'D LIKE YOU
TO MEET CHLOE.
88
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:56,304
Dick: HI.
89
00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:57,671
HELLO.
90
00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:58,639
I'M EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL,
91
00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:02,276
AND I'M TOMMY'S
NEW GIRLFRIEND.
92
00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:03,778
WAIT, IS THAT
TRUE, TOMMY?
93
00:04:03,812 --> 00:04:05,013
YES.
94
00:04:05,046 --> 00:04:06,915
AND YES.
95
00:04:09,784 --> 00:04:11,119
A WOMAN LIKE THAT
IS NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE AVAILABLE
96
00:04:11,152 --> 00:04:12,286
TO A HIGH SCHOOL KID.
97
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,489
THAT'S WHY WE GOT HIM
A SUBSCRIPTION TO PLAYBOY.
98
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:16,791
AND NOW WE
CAN CANCEL IT.
99
00:04:16,825 --> 00:04:17,859
BA-BAM!
100
00:04:17,892 --> 00:04:19,160
SO WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO ABOUT IT?
101
00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:20,929
LET'S SEE.
OH, I KNOW.
102
00:04:20,962 --> 00:04:22,596
ENJOY THE HELL
OUT OF IT.
103
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:24,465
AS YOU WERE,
LIEUTENANT.
104
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:31,605
SO...
105
00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:32,373
HOW ARE THINGS?
106
00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:34,675
AH, SAME OLD,
SAME OLD.
107
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:35,676
YOU?
108
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,411
CAN'T COMPLAIN.
109
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,281
YES!
YES!
110
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,854
Dick: HIGH COMMANDER'S LOG,
JANUARY 15.
111
00:05:19,888 --> 00:05:22,090
GABRIELLA HAS GIVEN ME
A PHOTO OF HER.
112
00:05:22,123 --> 00:05:23,524
I'M TRYING TO DETERMINE
WHICH ANGLE
113
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:27,195
WILL BE MOST VISIBLE
TO DR. ALBRIGHT
TO BEST MOCK HER
114
00:05:27,228 --> 00:05:30,764
FOR HAVING
BROKEN UP WITH ME.
115
00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:32,766
I THINK THAT THEY
SHOULD JUST TURN THE CLASS
116
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:33,801
INTO A SEMINAR.
117
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,604
WHAT'S THAT, YOU SAY?
WHO IS THIS
A PICTURE OF?
118
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:37,638
WHAT?
119
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,673
WELL, IF YOU'RE
GOING TO BE SO NOSY,
120
00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:40,674
I'LL TELL YOU.
121
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:41,642
IT JUST HAPPENS TO BE--
122
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,411
DR. ALBRIGHT!
DR. ALBRIGHT, LOOK!
123
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:44,045
WHAT IS IT?
124
00:05:44,078 --> 00:05:45,546
TICKETS TO
THE SUPER BOWL!
125
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:46,714
WHERE DID THESE
COME FROM?
126
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:49,050
FRANK LEGGETT,
CLASS OF '94.
127
00:05:49,083 --> 00:05:49,884
OH, MY GOD.
128
00:05:49,918 --> 00:05:53,054
HIS TEAM IS PLAYING
IN THE SUPER BOWL.
129
00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:55,523
EEEEE!
130
00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:05,066
WHY WOULD HE SEND YOU
THE TICKETS?
131
00:06:05,099 --> 00:06:07,301
OH, UH, FRANK WAS
HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE
132
00:06:07,335 --> 00:06:09,403
MAINTAINING HIS
ACADEMIC ELIGIBILITY.
133
00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:12,173
I JUST GAVE HIM
A LITTLE HELP
AND GUIDANCE.
134
00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:14,342
"YOUR CLASSES
WERE SO EASY.
135
00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:16,810
THANK YOU FOR
LETTING ME COAST."
136
00:06:18,179 --> 00:06:19,713
HE WAS A BRILLIANT STUDENT.
137
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:22,450
HE SPELLED EASY
WITH A "Z."
138
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:23,551
OH, WHO CARES!
139
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:26,887
I HAVE 2 TICKETS
TO THE SUPER BOWL!
140
00:06:26,921 --> 00:06:29,257
SO, UH, WHO ARE YOU
GONNA TAKE?
141
00:06:29,290 --> 00:06:31,259
OH.
142
00:06:31,292 --> 00:06:33,427
OHH, UM...
143
00:06:34,428 --> 00:06:36,530
OH, I'M SORRY,
I'VE KNOWN NINA LONGER.
144
00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:37,431
AAHHHH!
145
00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:40,334
SAN DIEGO,
HERE I COME!
146
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,905
WOOOO!
147
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,313
VIDEOTAPE FOR MASHA.
148
00:06:52,346 --> 00:06:54,315
TAKE 8.
149
00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:14,568
WHO'S YOUR DADDY?
150
00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:18,639
YOU'RE MY LITTLE
SCHMOO-SCHMOO.
151
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:19,740
WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?
152
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,043
OH, UH, MAKING A TAPE
FOR MASHA.
153
00:07:22,076 --> 00:07:23,177
IN CASE SHE NEEDS
A HARRY FIX
154
00:07:23,211 --> 00:07:25,613
IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE NIGHT.
155
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:28,082
THAT'S SO SWEET.
156
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,685
SALLY, LOOK.
157
00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:34,288
CHAMPAGNE AND CAVIAR
FOR GABRIELLA.
158
00:07:34,322 --> 00:07:35,689
WHAT'S CAVIAR?
159
00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:36,690
RUSSIAN FISH EGGS.
160
00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:37,858
VERY EXPENSIVE.
161
00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:38,926
YEAH, I KNOW.
162
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,861
YOU AND TOMMY HAVE
SPENT A FORTUNE
ON THESE WOMEN.
163
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:43,631
LOOK, $700 FOR A NECKLACE,
$400 FOR EARRINGS.
164
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:46,234
HEY, GUYS, LOOK
WHAT I BOUGHT FOR CHLOE.
165
00:07:46,267 --> 00:07:47,935
HOW MUCH DID THAT COST?
166
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:48,502
$50.
167
00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:49,637
$50?
168
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:52,340
A MONTH FOR
THE NEXT 16 YEARS.
169
00:07:53,141 --> 00:07:54,175
ONE SECOND,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
170
00:07:54,208 --> 00:07:55,443
CAN SOMEBODY
PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME
171
00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:57,645
WHY RUTHERFORD, OHIO,
172
00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,647
IS SUDDENLY BRIMMING OVER
WITH BEAUTIFUL WOMEN
173
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:02,483
JUST DYING
TO DATE LOSERS?
174
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:03,684
WELL, I'M BETTING IT
HAS SOMETHING TO DO
175
00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:06,120
WITH EL NIÑO.
176
00:08:14,028 --> 00:08:16,164
HELLO, DON.
177
00:08:16,197 --> 00:08:18,199
YEAH, HI, SALLY.
178
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:21,302
I SAID, "HELLO, DON."
179
00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:23,804
YEAH, I HEARD YOU.
180
00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:31,745
CAN I BUY YOU A COFFEE?
181
00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:35,416
WAIT A SECOND.
WAIT, WHAT MAKES YOU
THINK YOU CAN HAVE ME?
182
00:08:35,449 --> 00:08:38,852
LOOK AROUND.
TIMES HAVE CHANGED.
183
00:08:40,254 --> 00:08:41,822
I'M GOING TO
THE LADIES ROOM.
184
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:45,193
ANYBODY CARE
TO JOIN ME?
185
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,105
A SUCKER?
THIS IS IT?
186
00:08:57,138 --> 00:08:59,307
I'M TRYING. HE'S
NOT RESPONDING RIGHT.
187
00:08:59,340 --> 00:09:01,575
WELL, TRY HARDER.
188
00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:02,910
LADIES,
189
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:08,882
WE WILL NOT REST
UNTIL WE HAVE ACHIEVED
THE TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION.
190
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:11,385
EXCUSE ME, BUT
WHAT DID YOU SAY--
191
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:15,689
OH, I'M SILLY.
192
00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:17,024
I'VE BEEN LOOKING
EVERYWHERE FOR YOU.
193
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,361
YOU WEREN'T AT
THE SCHOOL OR--
OH, HELLO.
194
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:24,198
WHY DOES YOUR WIFE
ALWAYS BOTHER US?
195
00:09:24,232 --> 00:09:26,934
NO, I'M NOT HIS WIFE.
I'M HIS SISTER, AND, UH,
RIGHT NOW,
196
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,170
WE REALLY NEED TO HAVE
A LITTLE BROTHER/SISTER
CHAT.
197
00:09:29,203 --> 00:09:30,371
SALLY, ANYTHING
YOU HAVE TO SAY
TO ME
198
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:33,674
YOU CAN
SAY IN FRONT
OF GABRIELLA.
199
00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:35,409
OK, UM...
200
00:09:35,443 --> 00:09:39,647
YOU KNOW THOSE
HEMORRHOID SUPPOSITORIES
YOU ALWAYS BUY--
201
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:42,250
ALL RIGHT,
IN THE KITCHEN!
IN THE KITCHEN!
202
00:09:42,283 --> 00:09:46,320
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK,
MY PERFECTLY SYMMETRICAL
LITTLE SNOWFLAKE.
203
00:09:46,354 --> 00:09:48,322
MMM...
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
204
00:09:48,356 --> 00:09:50,524
Sally: DICK!
205
00:09:50,558 --> 00:09:52,160
HURRY UP!
I MISS MY GABY.
206
00:09:52,193 --> 00:09:54,695
I THINK I FINALLY FIGURED
OUT WHAT'S GOING ON.
207
00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:57,565
THESE WOMEN ARE
PART OF SOME STRANGE
ORGANIZED COVEN.
208
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,633
THEIR GOAL IS TO
DOMINATE THE WORLD.
209
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,969
I HEARD THEM, DICK.
THEY'RE DANGEROUS.
210
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:05,239
YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
THAT SIZZLING SIBERIAN
SEX KITTEN IN THERE
211
00:10:05,273 --> 00:10:06,240
DOESN'T REALLY LOVE ME?
212
00:10:06,274 --> 00:10:07,441
NO.
213
00:10:07,475 --> 00:10:09,543
BUT IS ONLY USING ME
IN A PLOT TO DOMINATE
THE WHOLE WORLD?
214
00:10:09,577 --> 00:10:10,811
YES!
215
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:12,880
HA HA HA HA HA!
216
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:15,683
THAT'S
THE MOST RIDICULOUS
THING I'VE EVER HEARD.
217
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,218
SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND.
218
00:10:17,251 --> 00:10:18,752
Gabriella: DICK!
219
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:22,890
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
220
00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:26,059
WELL, I GUESS
IT'S UP TO ME TO GET
TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.
221
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:31,465
AND IF I HAVE TO SMASH
DICK'S FANTASY AND LEAVE
HIM A BLUBBERING IDIOT,
222
00:10:31,499 --> 00:10:34,602
THEN ALL THE BETTER.
223
00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:39,973
THAT...
224
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,642
AND THAT.
225
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:43,911
OOH!
226
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:45,979
AND THIS.
227
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:46,780
I'M GONNA TRY IT ON.
228
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:47,948
OOH, I'LL HELP.
229
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,983
NO, YOU DON'T,
BAD BOY.
230
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:54,121
WHY DON'T YOU GO TAKE
A MARKETING SURVEY
OR SOMETHING.
231
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,223
WHAT?
232
00:10:55,256 --> 00:10:57,525
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE
A MARKETING SURVEY?
233
00:10:57,558 --> 00:10:59,327
OK.
234
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:04,198
EXCUSE ME, I CAN'T
SEEM TO FIND MY SIZE.
235
00:11:04,232 --> 00:11:04,932
AND THAT WOULD BE?
236
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:05,999
AN 8.
237
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,034
YOU HAVE 2s AND 4s,
238
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:10,170
AND A COUPLE OF ZEROS.
239
00:11:10,204 --> 00:11:14,875
WELL, I'M SORRY, MISS,
BUT WE DON'T REALLY
CARRY THE PLUS SIZES.
240
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:17,511
SINCE WHEN DID 8
BECOME A PLUS SIZE?
241
00:11:17,545 --> 00:11:18,746
IN THE CLOTHING
BUSINESS,
242
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:21,315
WE HAVE TO CATER
TO THE DEMANDS
OF THE BUYER.
243
00:11:21,349 --> 00:11:23,150
WELL, I'VE BEEN SHOPPING
HERE A LONG TIME,
244
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,586
AND I DEMAND SERVICE.
245
00:11:25,619 --> 00:11:30,258
YOU KNOW, HON,
IT'S REALLY UNATTRACTIVE
WHEN A HEAVY GAL YELLS.
246
00:11:31,459 --> 00:11:33,294
SO, WOULD YOU
BUY THIS PRODUCT?
247
00:11:33,327 --> 00:11:35,663
IN A HEARTBEAT.
248
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:36,630
HOW MUCH
WOULD YOU PAY
FOR THIS PRODUCT?
249
00:11:36,664 --> 00:11:37,665
SO, WOULD YOU
GIVE UP ALL THAT
YOU HOLD DEAR
250
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:40,668
AND DEVOTE YOUR
LIFE TO OBTAINING
THIS PRODUCT?
251
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,670
SURE.
252
00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:44,204
WHAT IS
THIS PRODUCT?
253
00:11:44,238 --> 00:11:46,774
I HAVE NO IDEA.
254
00:11:50,611 --> 00:11:52,480
WHAT DO YOU SEE
WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME?
255
00:11:52,513 --> 00:11:55,649
OOH, WELL, I SEE
SOMEONE WHO'S SWEET,
256
00:11:55,683 --> 00:11:57,351
FUN TO BE WITH,
257
00:11:57,385 --> 00:12:01,389
MAYBE A LITTLE
INSECURE, BUT...
258
00:12:01,422 --> 00:12:04,258
I LIKE THAT
ABOUT YOU.
259
00:12:04,292 --> 00:12:06,059
DON'T YOU THINK
I'M BEAUTIFUL?
260
00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:08,929
WELL,
SURE YOU'RE CUTE,
261
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:13,601
EVEN WITH THE MOLE.
262
00:12:13,634 --> 00:12:16,504
WELL, THEN, DON'T YOU
WANT TO GIVE ME ANYTHING?
263
00:12:16,537 --> 00:12:18,339
OH, OF COURSE I DO.
264
00:12:18,372 --> 00:12:21,475
I WANT TO GIVE YOU
THE MOUNTAINS
AND THE RIVER
265
00:12:21,509 --> 00:12:23,110
AND THE TREES.
266
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:26,480
WELL, I GUESS
I WAS JUST HOPING FOR
SOMETHING MORE LIKE...
267
00:12:26,514 --> 00:12:28,616
EXTREMELY
EXPENSIVE JEWELRY.
268
00:12:28,649 --> 00:12:29,883
HMM?
269
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:31,885
OK.
270
00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:35,823
I WAS KEEPING THIS
FOR A SURPRISE, BUT...
271
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:39,560
I HAD THE BARBER TAKE
A LITTLE OFF THE TOP.
272
00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:42,330
JUST FOR YOU.
273
00:12:45,466 --> 00:12:47,801
SOMETIMES I FEEL
LIKE SUCH A FAILURE.
274
00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:49,870
OOH, WHY?
275
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:53,206
HARRY, I HAVE TO
TELL YOU SOMETHING.
276
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,709
I'M NOT FROM AROUND HERE.
277
00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:01,248
I'M NOT FROM
AROUND HERE, EITHER.
278
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,717
I'M NOT LIKE
OTHER WOMEN.
279
00:13:03,751 --> 00:13:06,854
I'M NOT
LIKE OTHER GUYS.
280
00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:08,389
I CAN'T TELL YOU WHY.
281
00:13:08,422 --> 00:13:11,492
I CAN'T TELL YOU
WHY, EITHER.
282
00:13:12,726 --> 00:13:14,428
WE HAVE SO MUCH
IN COMMON.
283
00:13:14,462 --> 00:13:16,830
WE DO.
284
00:13:27,475 --> 00:13:29,142
Sally: LIEUTENANT'S LOG.
285
00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:31,244
YES, I HAVE ONE, TOO.
286
00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:34,448
THE COFFEE SHOP IS LOUSY
WITH THESE LEGGY PREDATORS.
287
00:13:34,482 --> 00:13:37,918
I MUST GET TO
THE BOTTOM OF THIS,
AT ANY COST.
288
00:13:58,406 --> 00:14:00,140
PREPARE FOR CONTACT
289
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,142
WITH PRELL.
290
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,144
[STATIC]
291
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,981
[TUNING RADIO]
292
00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:11,485
LADIES, WE HAVE COME
A LONG WAY FROM VENUS.
293
00:14:11,519 --> 00:14:12,920
I WOULD LIKE
TO COMMEND YOU ALL
294
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:16,223
ON YOUR HARD WORK
AND DEDICATION...
295
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:18,626
IN HEELS, I MIGHT ADD.
296
00:14:18,659 --> 00:14:21,495
WHY DID YOU CHOOSE
RUTHERFORD, OHIO?
297
00:14:21,529 --> 00:14:22,463
MMM.
298
00:14:22,496 --> 00:14:25,966
BECAUSE IT IS SO
DELIGHTFULLY AVERAGE,
299
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:28,235
A PETRI DISH
OF THE MUNDANE.
300
00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:30,638
DOES THE EXPERIMENT
GO WELL?
301
00:14:30,671 --> 00:14:34,975
EVERY MAN TESTED
SCORED 100% ON
THE WEAKNESS SCALE.
302
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:36,243
EXCELLENT!
303
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:41,248
NOW IT'S TIME FOR US
TO MOVE WEST TOWARDS
OUR FINAL DESTINATION:
304
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,150
AREA 32.
305
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,318
[TOILET FLUSHES]
306
00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:47,688
SEARCH THE STALLS!
307
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:50,658
EXCUSE ME.
308
00:14:50,691 --> 00:14:51,692
WHY WERE YOU
HIDING IN THERE?
309
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:52,593
I WASN'T HIDING.
310
00:14:52,626 --> 00:14:55,496
THEN WHY WEREN'T
YOUR FEET VISIBLE?
311
00:14:55,529 --> 00:14:57,698
THIS IS PRETTY
EMBARRASSING, BUT, UM...
312
00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:02,503
SOMETIMES I JAM MY FEET
AGAINST THE STALL DOOR,
313
00:15:02,536 --> 00:15:05,172
YOU KNOW, FOR LEVERAGE.
314
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:09,409
I HAVEN'T BEEN EATING
ENOUGH GRAINS LATELY
SO IT'S BEEN--WAAAA!
315
00:15:09,443 --> 00:15:10,143
YOU'RE LYING.
316
00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:11,612
YEAH, I'M LYING.
317
00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:13,581
IT'S BECAUSE
I WANT TO JOIN YOU.
318
00:15:13,614 --> 00:15:14,381
JOIN US?
319
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,616
HMM.
320
00:15:15,649 --> 00:15:18,686
YOU'VE
GOT SPLIT ENDS.
321
00:15:18,719 --> 00:15:21,421
NO, SHE'S TALL ENOUGH,
322
00:15:21,455 --> 00:15:24,024
SHE'S GOT
THE BONE STRUCTURE.
323
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:25,759
PERHAPS WE CAN USE HER,
324
00:15:25,793 --> 00:15:30,030
THAT IS, IF SHE CAN
ENDURE OUR MAKEOVER.
325
00:15:35,836 --> 00:15:40,741
[BALALAIKA PLAYS]
[SINGING IN RUSSIAN]
326
00:15:57,825 --> 00:15:59,192
* LA LA LA LA LA
327
00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:00,628
* LA LA LA LA LA
328
00:16:00,661 --> 00:16:01,962
* LA LA LA LA LA
329
00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:03,230
* LA LA LA LA LA
330
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:04,532
RRRRRRRRRRR!
331
00:16:04,565 --> 00:16:05,899
OY! OY! OY! OY!
332
00:16:05,933 --> 00:16:06,900
* LA LA LA LA LA
333
00:16:06,934 --> 00:16:10,003
* LA LA LA LA LA--
334
00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:12,139
UM, I JUST NEED TO GET
SOMETHING FROM MY ROOM.
335
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:13,306
YOU MIND IF I GO ALONE?
336
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:16,109
NOT AT ALL.
GREAT.
337
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,245
OOH, MASHA!
338
00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:19,713
HELLO, HARRY.
339
00:16:19,747 --> 00:16:21,682
I DIDN'T COME
TO SEE YOU.
340
00:16:21,715 --> 00:16:24,417
I CAME TO TAKE
YOUR SISTER...
SHOPPING.
341
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:25,686
MMM.
342
00:16:25,719 --> 00:16:27,120
LOOK, I KNOW HOW
YOU LIKE THINGS.
343
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:29,890
AND SO, UM...
344
00:16:29,923 --> 00:16:33,026
I MADE YOU SOMETHING.
345
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:36,496
NOT REAL GOLD,
MACARONI.
346
00:16:36,530 --> 00:16:40,133
I SPRAY PAINTED IT.
347
00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:43,771
THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY
NO MARKET VALUE.
348
00:16:43,804 --> 00:16:45,573
AND YET...
349
00:16:45,606 --> 00:16:47,374
I'M TOUCHED.
350
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:51,478
YOU'RE EITHER
REALLY CHEAP,
351
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,280
OR REALLY DEEP.
352
00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:57,050
I'D LIKE TO THINK
THAT I AM BOTH.
353
00:16:57,084 --> 00:17:00,387
I DON'T KNOW WHY,
BUT I WANT TO GIVE YOU
SOMETHING, TOO.
354
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:03,156
OH, NO,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
355
00:17:11,932 --> 00:17:14,602
I HAVE TO GO NOW,
HARRY.
356
00:17:14,635 --> 00:17:16,904
GOOD-BYE.
357
00:17:23,811 --> 00:17:25,478
OK, LADIES,
LET'S GO!
358
00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:26,747
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
WHY ARE YOU LEAVING?
359
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:30,651
OH, I'M SORRY, DICK,
BUT I'VE GOT SOME BUSINESS
TO TAKE CARE OF.
360
00:17:30,684 --> 00:17:31,785
OUCH!
361
00:17:31,819 --> 00:17:33,520
WAIT, SALLY,
YOU CAN'T GO. YOU
HAVE TO MAKE US DINNER.
362
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,623
UH, YOU HAVE TO
BUY YOUR OWN DINNER.
363
00:17:35,656 --> 00:17:37,490
UM, HERE'S
A GROCERY LIST.
364
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:39,026
IT'S VERY IMPORTANT
THAT YOU READ IT
365
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:41,194
SO YOU KNOW WHAT
YOU HAVE TO BUY.
LET'S MOVE!
366
00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:44,531
EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT HUNGRY,
IT'S A GOOD READ,
THAT GROCERY LIST.
367
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,333
I HEARD YOU,
MISS PRONUNCIATION.
368
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:49,569
Sally: THE LIST, DICK!
READ THE LIST!
369
00:17:49,603 --> 00:17:51,772
WELL, SHALL WE
GO GROCERY SHOPPING?
370
00:17:51,805 --> 00:17:54,107
NO, NO, THAT'S
SALLY'S JOB.
371
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:57,377
NO, I THINK THE MOST
PRUDENT THING
FOR US TO DO NOW
372
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:02,650
IS JUST TO, UM,
SIT HERE AND WAIT FOR
THE GIRLS TO COME BACK.
373
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:09,389
Dick: HIGH COMMANDER'S LOG,
JANUARY 18th.
374
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:13,794
LIKE LOCUSTS,
THEY CAME EN MASSE
WITHOUT WARNING.
375
00:18:13,827 --> 00:18:17,597
THEN, IN A CLOUD
OF SPARKLY POWDER
AND PERFUME...
376
00:18:17,631 --> 00:18:19,566
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
377
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,969
THEY WERE GONE.
378
00:18:22,736 --> 00:18:23,704
HEY, GUYS.
379
00:18:23,737 --> 00:18:24,672
I WAS JUST WONDERING,
HAVE ANY OF YOU--
380
00:18:24,705 --> 00:18:26,573
NO, WE HAVEN'T SEEN
KIRSTA AROUND.
381
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,675
WILL YOU
GIVE IT A REST?
382
00:18:27,708 --> 00:18:30,177
YOU DON'T HEAR ME
WHINING ON AND ON
ABOUT GABRIELLA.
383
00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:31,845
ONLY 24 HOURS A DAY.
384
00:18:31,879 --> 00:18:34,214
MMM, PLEASE, IT'S
NOT LIKE YOU LOST MASHA.
385
00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:35,683
MASHA, MASHA, MASHA.
386
00:18:35,716 --> 00:18:36,283
WHY I OUGHT TO--
387
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:38,618
HEY, HEY, HEY!
388
00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:42,222
WHY DON'T WE STOP
KIDDING OURSELVES?
389
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:44,291
WE KNEW IT COULDN'T
LAST FOREVER.
390
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:46,093
THE THING
I MOST REGRET IS
391
00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:49,529
I DIDN'T TAKE
ANY PICTURES OF
GABRIELLA AND ME.
392
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:50,764
NOW NO ONE'S GOING
TO BELIEVE ME
393
00:18:50,798 --> 00:18:53,701
WHEN I TELL THEM
I SLEPT WITH HER.
394
00:18:53,734 --> 00:18:54,501
YOU DIDN'T.
395
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:57,537
YOU SEE, IT'S
STARTED ALREADY!
396
00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:03,811
JUST AS I SUSPECTED,
SHE'S A WINTER.
397
00:19:03,844 --> 00:19:06,346
OH, I ALWAYS THOUGHT
I LOOKED BEST IN
WARMER TONES.
398
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:07,647
OH, YOU WERE WRONG.
399
00:19:07,681 --> 00:19:11,451
SHE HAS COMBINATION SKIN
AND A DRY T-ZONE.
400
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,220
WE MUST EXFOLIATE.
401
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,689
UH, UH, COULDN'T
WE JUST MOISTURIZE ME?
402
00:19:15,723 --> 00:19:16,924
DO YOU WANT TO BE
ONE OF US OR NOT?
403
00:19:16,957 --> 00:19:18,892
YES, YES!
DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!
404
00:19:18,926 --> 00:19:21,094
I NEED THE FIDO BENT.
405
00:19:21,128 --> 00:19:23,697
2000?
3000.
406
00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:28,301
NOW, OPEN!
407
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:30,938
UHH! AAH!
408
00:19:33,974 --> 00:19:35,508
WHOA, LOOK, HARRY.
409
00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:36,643
IT'S MASHA'S COMPACT.
410
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,980
OOH, LET ME HOLD IT.
411
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:44,384
OOH, I CAN STILL
FEEL THE HEAT FROM
HER SLENDER FINGERS.
412
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:45,886
[STATIC]
413
00:19:45,919 --> 00:19:48,956
Prell: HELLO?
COME IN, SASSOON,
THIS IS PRELL.
414
00:19:48,989 --> 00:19:51,725
WHAT WAS THAT?
SHE WAS HOT.
415
00:19:51,759 --> 00:19:52,559
[STATIC]
416
00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:55,162
Prell: HEY, WHO IS THAT?
417
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,764
OH, MY GOD!
418
00:19:56,797 --> 00:19:59,699
DO YOU REALIZE
WHAT THIS IS?
419
00:19:59,733 --> 00:20:05,272
IT'S A MULTIPHASE
MICRO TRANSMITTER AND
ROSE-PINK BLUSH IN ONE!
420
00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:08,708
THIS PLANET DOESN'T
HAVE THAT TECHNOLOGY.
421
00:20:08,742 --> 00:20:12,012
HOLY COW!
WE WEREN'T JUST
DATING LEGGY BABES.
422
00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:16,149
WE WERE DATING
LEGGY BABES FROM BEYOND.
423
00:20:16,183 --> 00:20:17,650
OH, MY GOD!
424
00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:19,419
WE'RE ALIENS OURSELVES
AND THEY FOOLED US.
425
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:20,788
WHAT CHANCE DO
REGULAR HUMANS HAVE?
426
00:20:20,821 --> 00:20:21,654
WHERE'S THAT
SHOPPING LIST?
427
00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:23,323
OH, WHOA!
WAIT A SECOND! WAIT.
428
00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:25,859
I THINK I PUT IT
IN THE TRASH.
429
00:20:25,893 --> 00:20:27,895
OH, WAIT, HERE IT IS.
430
00:20:27,928 --> 00:20:29,129
OH, NO!
431
00:20:29,162 --> 00:20:30,130
WHAT?
432
00:20:30,163 --> 00:20:33,466
NONE OF THE GROCERIES
WE NEED ARE ON THIS LIST.
433
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:37,104
NO, IT'S JUST SOME LONG,
INVOLVED MESSAGE ABOUT SALLY
INFILTRATING THEIR GROUP
434
00:20:37,137 --> 00:20:38,505
AND HEADING TO CALIFORNIA.
435
00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:40,073
OH.
OH.
436
00:20:40,107 --> 00:20:42,042
OHH!
OHH!
OHH!
437
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:43,043
SHE WAS ASKING
FOR OUR HELP,
438
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:44,711
AND WE WEREN'T
THERE FOR HER.
439
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,613
OH, WHO KNOWS WHAT
THEY'RE DOING TO HER NOW.
440
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:47,714
WE WERE SITTING
ON OUR DUFFS
441
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:51,051
WHILE SHE'S
SINGLE-HANDEDLY
TRYING TO SAVE EARTH!
442
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:55,789
EARTH. MAYBE IT ISN'T
THE BIGGEST PLANET
IN THE GALAXY,
443
00:20:55,823 --> 00:20:58,625
OR THE ROUNDEST...
444
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,527
BUT I'VE COME TO
THINK OF IT AS HOME.
445
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,863
I WAS GONNA
RETIRE HERE,
446
00:21:02,896 --> 00:21:05,632
YOU KNOW,
IN BOCA.
447
00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:09,002
POOR MASHA,
IN THEIR CLUTCHES.
448
00:21:09,036 --> 00:21:10,537
SHE'S ONE OF THEM,
YOU IDIOT!
449
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:12,906
WE'VE GOT TO SAVE EARTH,
AND WE'VE GOTTA SAVE SALLY!
450
00:21:12,940 --> 00:21:14,842
LET'S GO!
451
00:21:14,875 --> 00:21:16,309
WAIT!
452
00:21:16,343 --> 00:21:19,179
WHAT IF WE RUN INTO
ONE OF THOSE CUNNING,
MANIPULATIVE WOMEN?
453
00:21:19,212 --> 00:21:21,949
YOU'RE RIGHT.
EVERYONE GRAB A COMB
AND A DINNER JACKET.
454
00:21:21,982 --> 00:21:23,817
LET'S GO!
30861
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