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00:00:02,902 --> 00:00:04,637
♪ I am the visual
The inspiration ♪
2
00:00:04,704 --> 00:00:06,239
♪ That made lady
Sing the blues ♪
3
00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:08,141
♪ I'm the spark
That makes your idea bright ♪
4
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:09,609
♪ The same spark
That lights the dark ♪
5
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,378
♪ So that you can know
Your left from your right ♪
6
00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:13,947
♪ I am the ballot in your box
The bullet in the gun ♪
7
00:00:14,013 --> 00:00:15,448
♪ The inner glow
That lets you know ♪
8
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:16,549
♪ To call your brother sun ♪
9
00:00:16,616 --> 00:00:17,851
♪ The story that just begun ♪
10
00:00:17,917 --> 00:00:19,219
♪ The promise
Of what's to come ♪
11
00:00:19,285 --> 00:00:20,420
♪ And I'm a remain a soldier ♪
12
00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:22,355
♪ Till the war is won ♪
13
00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:24,991
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
14
00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:27,660
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
15
00:00:27,727 --> 00:00:30,263
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
16
00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:31,698
♪ Chop, chop, chop ♪
17
00:00:32,832 --> 00:00:34,768
[♪♪♪]
18
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:45,145
Hey!
19
00:00:45,945 --> 00:00:46,913
[SLOWED VOICE]
Hey!
20
00:00:47,947 --> 00:00:49,916
[VERY SLOWED VOICE]
Hey!
21
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:52,318
Watch where
you're walking, nigga.
22
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:54,187
H-hey, what you say, nigga?
23
00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:55,688
HUEY [NARRATING]:
Watch closely.
24
00:00:55,755 --> 00:00:58,758
You're about to experience
a "Nigga Moment."
25
00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:00,860
Webster defines
the "Nigga Moment"
26
00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:03,363
as a moment when ignorance
overwhelms the mind
27
00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:05,832
of an otherwise logical
Negro male--
28
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,934
What did you say,
bitch nigga?
29
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:09,702
Hey, squeeze it, nigga!
30
00:01:09,769 --> 00:01:11,704
--causing him to act
in an illogical,
31
00:01:11,771 --> 00:01:15,442
self-destructive manner,
i.e., like a nigga.
32
00:01:15,508 --> 00:01:16,776
You want it?
Right here.
33
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:23,349
[CLICKING]
34
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:25,685
Nigga Moments
are unpredictable.
35
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:29,021
Hey, wait, man. Wait.
This is stupid.
36
00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:30,490
Hey, you right, dawg.
37
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:33,393
Look, let's put the guns away
and go on about our business.
38
00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:35,662
[GUNS COCKING]
MAN: Freeze!
39
00:01:35,728 --> 00:01:37,564
HUEY:
But they all end up bad.
40
00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:40,467
If they had their own category,
Nigga Moments
41
00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:42,902
would be the third leading
killer of black men
42
00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:44,704
behind pork chops and FEMA.
43
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,006
It's a fact.
44
00:01:47,073 --> 00:01:48,842
Now, let's see
how a Nigga Moment
45
00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:50,176
affects a white man.
46
00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:51,478
Prick.
47
00:01:51,544 --> 00:01:53,079
Watch where you walkin', bitch.
48
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:54,914
What did you--?
49
00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:56,015
Wait a minute.
50
00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:58,218
[CHUCKLES]
I'm white.
51
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:01,387
Where you goin'?
52
00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:02,989
Don't you ignore me.
53
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:04,357
This is a perfectly
good moment
54
00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:06,025
to throw your life away.
55
00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:08,761
A big misconception
about the Nigga Moment
56
00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:10,096
is that it can be avoided
57
00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:12,198
by simply moving away
from niggas.
58
00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:14,234
If only it were that easy.
59
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,736
See, niggas always got
a new trick
60
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:17,804
right around the corner.
61
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:20,039
[SCREAMING]
62
00:02:20,106 --> 00:02:21,941
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKER]
63
00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:23,276
[HORNS HONKING]
64
00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:25,044
[MAN HUMMING]
65
00:02:25,111 --> 00:02:26,880
♪ Ha-da-da-da, ha ♪
66
00:02:27,914 --> 00:02:28,948
♪ Doo-dah-dah-deh-deh ♪
67
00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:29,949
♪ Tuh ♪
68
00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:33,052
Listen up, boys.
69
00:02:33,119 --> 00:02:35,622
I'm about to sing
the "New Shoes" song.
70
00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:37,223
♪ New shoes ♪
71
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:39,959
♪ New shoooooes ♪
72
00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:41,194
♪ Woo-hoo ♪
73
00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:42,962
Boy, Nike makes some good shoes.
74
00:02:43,029 --> 00:02:44,063
Hoo!
75
00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:47,200
MAN:
♪ Ave Maria ♪
76
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:48,201
[TIRES SCREECHING]
77
00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:49,668
MAN:
Oh!
78
00:02:50,937 --> 00:02:52,572
[HUMMING]
79
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:54,807
GRANDDAD:
What the hell?
80
00:02:54,874 --> 00:02:56,910
Hey! What's goin' on, man?
Damn!
81
00:02:56,976 --> 00:02:58,478
I know there's nobody
in my space.
82
00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:00,213
This is handicapped parking.
Isn't it?
83
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,981
GRANDDAD:
Don't do that, don't do that!
84
00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:03,917
HUEY:
Yo, man, watch
where you're going.
85
00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:05,418
GRANDDAD:
Stupid son of a bitch!
86
00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:09,355
HUEY:
Every Nigga Moment begins
with the nigga.
87
00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:11,190
Without that key element,
88
00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:14,827
all you're left with is peace
and quiet.
89
00:03:14,894 --> 00:03:18,031
Colonel H. Stinkmeaner is,
and always has been,
90
00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:20,533
a cantankerous, ornery old man.
91
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,670
He spent his childhood
disagreeing with most things,
92
00:03:23,736 --> 00:03:26,105
especially things
involving happiness,
93
00:03:26,172 --> 00:03:28,675
unity and kindness.
94
00:03:28,741 --> 00:03:32,412
Stinkmeaner got no pleasure
seeing sunsets and trees,
95
00:03:32,478 --> 00:03:33,813
dolphins or rainbows.
96
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,983
Man, this some old bullshit.
97
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,586
So he didn't particularly mind
98
00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:42,922
when at age 15,
he lost his sight to cancer.
99
00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:45,224
At least I don't have to look
at your ugly ass no more.
100
00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:47,627
The doctors gave him
three years to live.
101
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,629
So he dedicated
those three years
102
00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:51,364
to spreading a lifetime
of misery and hatred.
103
00:03:51,430 --> 00:03:52,966
You danged fool!
104
00:03:53,031 --> 00:03:56,202
Nobody knows how Stinkmeaner
managed to live so long.
105
00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:59,339
He believed it was his love
of hatred that kept him going.
106
00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,808
Who in the hell parked
in my space?
107
00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:04,777
That's like calling
1-800-Collect-An-Ass-Whupping.
108
00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:08,448
And no, that ain't
no toll-free call, partner.
109
00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:10,216
GRANDDAD:
You hit my car!
110
00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:11,317
Are you blind?
111
00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:14,654
Yes, I am! So?
112
00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:15,655
Wait. You're blind?
113
00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:16,656
Yes!
114
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:18,156
Blind!
115
00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:20,893
You got a problem
with that, ni-yagga?
116
00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:22,895
You could have killed somebody.
117
00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:25,898
I-I'd be doing them a favor.
118
00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:27,433
Getting run over by me
119
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:29,435
is as close
to an honorable death
120
00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:31,838
as most of these people
are gonna get.
121
00:04:31,904 --> 00:04:36,109
Some days,
I'm quite the humanitarian.
122
00:04:36,175 --> 00:04:38,978
I think I hit a wheelchair
on the way over here. Heh.
123
00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:42,749
Oh, look what you did
to Dorothy.
124
00:04:42,815 --> 00:04:44,250
You'd better have insurance.
125
00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:47,020
Ni-yagga,
you better have insurance!
126
00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:49,055
Ass-whupping insurance.
127
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,824
And you about to pay
a deductible.
128
00:04:51,891 --> 00:04:53,359
HUEY:
And just like that,
129
00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:56,062
my granddad was trapped
in a Nigga Moment.
130
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,497
At this point, he can:
131
00:04:57,563 --> 00:05:00,299
[READING]
132
00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:07,206
Let's see which one he chooses.
133
00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:08,808
[LAUGHS]
134
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,209
That's right.
135
00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:13,012
I backed into your car,
ni-yagga.
136
00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:14,414
What you gonna do?
137
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,749
What you gonna do?
138
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,551
RILEY:
Oh, hell nah.
139
00:05:18,618 --> 00:05:21,754
Granddad, let's whup
this nigga's ass right now.
140
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,691
Bitch-ass, faggot-ass,
141
00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:28,127
punk-ass, pussy-ass,
bitch-ass nigga.
142
00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:29,629
Do you wanna do something,
143
00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:32,131
bitch-ass ni-yagga?
144
00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:34,400
Hold up.
[SNIFFS]
145
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:36,803
I smell new shoes.
146
00:05:36,869 --> 00:05:38,371
RILEY:
Awe, man.
147
00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:39,539
Oh! Not the shoes!
148
00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:41,107
Fool, what you--
Hey!
149
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,575
HUEY:
I've said it before.
150
00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:46,679
Expensive sneakers
are like $150 land mines.
151
00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:48,981
Step on one and boom!
152
00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:51,884
A perfectly rational
black man can explode.
153
00:05:51,951 --> 00:05:53,186
Yeah!
154
00:05:53,252 --> 00:05:57,223
They ain't new anymore
are they, ni-yagga?
155
00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:59,959
RILEY:
And that nigga's
spittin' on you.
156
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,294
You better hit him,
Granddad.
157
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:02,829
Hit him. Hit him! Yeah!
158
00:06:02,895 --> 00:06:04,263
[YELLING]
RILEY: Hit him!
159
00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:05,732
Oh!
160
00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:07,967
[YELLING]
GRANDDAD: Uh-oh.
161
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,737
Yeah!
My bad knee!
162
00:06:10,803 --> 00:06:12,338
Oh, Lordy-Lordy-Lord.
163
00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:13,973
RILEY: What you doing, man?
My bad knee.
164
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,108
RILEY:
Oh, man.
165
00:06:15,174 --> 00:06:16,409
[YELLS]
MAN: Huh?
166
00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:18,611
RILEY:
You lose all your pimp status.
167
00:06:18,678 --> 00:06:20,613
[♪♪♪]
168
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,381
This fight is over.
169
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:24,684
[SURVIVOR'S "EYE OF THE TIGER"
PLAYING OVER RADIO]
170
00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:26,953
♪ It's the eye of the tiger
It's the cream of the fight ♪
171
00:06:27,019 --> 00:06:31,124
♪ Rising up to the challenge
Of our rival ♪
172
00:06:31,190 --> 00:06:32,859
GRANDDAD:
I hate this damn song.
173
00:06:32,925 --> 00:06:34,227
I can't believe you got
174
00:06:34,293 --> 00:06:37,630
your ass kicked
by a blind man, Granddad.
175
00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:40,233
My knee went out.
You know I got a bad knee.
176
00:06:40,299 --> 00:06:42,735
Bad knee?
That nigga had bad eyes.
177
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:44,604
He couldn't see, Granddad.
178
00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:46,372
He beat you like a piñata.
179
00:06:46,439 --> 00:06:48,074
[LAUGHS]
Nah.
180
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:52,011
Yo, we can rent Granddad out
for Mexican birthday parties.
181
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,380
We can call him
Señor Piñata.
182
00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:55,481
[CHUCKLES]
183
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:58,151
Hola, Señor Piñata.
184
00:06:58,217 --> 00:06:59,352
Stop it, boy!
Stop it.
185
00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:01,888
Where's my belt?
186
00:07:01,954 --> 00:07:03,856
RILEY:
Whoo. Whoo.
187
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,291
I must be blind too,
188
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:08,127
'cause I sure didn't see
that ass-whupping coming.
189
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:10,696
Boy.
Riley.
190
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:15,101
Yo, how bad you gotta
telegraph your punches
191
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:16,302
for a blind nigga
192
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,703
to see 'em coming,
Granddad?
193
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:20,039
Riley, the man had
a heightened sense of hearing.
194
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,809
Oh, I thought Granddad had
a heightened sense of falling.
195
00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:24,177
Now, that's enough.
196
00:07:24,243 --> 00:07:26,579
Now, you just stop laughing
at your granddaddy.
197
00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:28,815
What's wrong with you?
Granddad had "hit me"
198
00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:30,183
written on his forehead
in Braille.
199
00:07:30,249 --> 00:07:32,351
I said, that's enough!
200
00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:35,054
Okay. What you gonna do?
201
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,122
Beat me?
202
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,591
Maybe I should get
a blindfold first.
203
00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:40,293
Okay, I'm ready.
204
00:07:40,359 --> 00:07:41,394
[RILEY LAUGHS]
205
00:07:41,460 --> 00:07:42,595
Wait.
206
00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:44,897
Maybe he gonna fall on me.
207
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:47,166
HUEY:
Riley, stop.
208
00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:49,836
Granddad...
Rodney King just called,
209
00:07:49,902 --> 00:07:51,537
and said...
210
00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:54,440
"Damn, I thought
I got my ass whupped!"
211
00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:55,441
[LAUGHS]
212
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:58,244
Ow!
213
00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,812
[♪♪♪]
214
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:05,885
[VOICES MINGLING]
215
00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:22,301
HUEY:
That night, I dreamt
of a blind swordsman.
216
00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:25,137
♪ Poisonous paragraphs
Smash ya phonograph in half ♪
217
00:08:25,204 --> 00:08:27,440
♪ It be the Inspector Deck
On the warpath ♪
218
00:08:27,506 --> 00:08:29,442
♪ First class
Leavin' mikes with a cast ♪
219
00:08:29,508 --> 00:08:31,210
♪ Causin' ruckus
Like the aftermath ♪
220
00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:33,078
♪ From guns blast
Run fast ♪
221
00:08:33,145 --> 00:08:34,847
♪ Here comes
The verbal assaulter ♪
222
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:37,116
♪ Rhymes runnin' wild
Like a child in a walker ♪
223
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,985
♪ I scored
From the inner slums abroad ♪
224
00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:40,486
[YELLS]
225
00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:44,457
HUEY:
He knows my every move,
yet, he cannot see.
226
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,927
As my mind fights to make sense
of the impossible,
227
00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:50,496
he has turned my sight
into a liability.
228
00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:52,131
♪ ...To electrify ♪
229
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,333
♪ With voltage of an eel
Truth that I'll reveal ♪
230
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,136
♪ Crush the amateurs
Who screamed to keep it real ♪
231
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,038
♪ Caesar black down
Hoodied up and fatigues ♪
232
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:01,641
HUEY:
He has no just cause
to want my life.
233
00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:04,744
There is no forethought,
no logic in his actions.
234
00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:06,979
This isn't just any swordsman.
235
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:09,615
This is
the Blind Nigga Samurai.
236
00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:11,217
What's good, nigga?
237
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:12,685
What's really good?
238
00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:14,453
[GASPS]
239
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,489
[PANTING]
240
00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:17,623
Niggas.
241
00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:19,692
A Nigga Moment
isn't necessarily over
242
00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:21,327
when you think it's over.
243
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,262
It kind of hangs around
like a unpaid bill.
244
00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:26,532
MAN [OVER TV]:
And in a case of the blind
beating the dumb,
245
00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:29,368
security cameras
from the Woodcrest Square Mall
246
00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:31,671
captured a fight
between a blind old man
247
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:34,307
and an unidentified assailant
following a parking dispute.
248
00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:35,374
[GROANING]
Aw...
249
00:09:35,441 --> 00:09:37,944
Man.
It's just local news.
250
00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:40,546
MAN 2:
CNN has now confirmed
that it was this man,
251
00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:42,448
Robert Jebediah Freeman,
252
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:44,817
who got beat up
by a slightly older,
253
00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:46,986
significantly blinder
gentleman.
254
00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:49,455
Police aren't pressing charges
against Mr. Freeman.
255
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:52,290
They say that ass-whupping
was punishment enough.
256
00:09:52,358 --> 00:09:53,693
We at CNN agree.
257
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:54,760
Granddad,
I don't think
258
00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:56,696
you should watch
this anymore.
259
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,898
El residente de Woodcrest,
Robert Freeman,
260
00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:02,501
tiene un nuevo apodo:
Señor Piñata.
261
00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:03,936
[BOTH ANCHORS LAUGH]
262
00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:06,772
MAN [ON TV]:
Oh, Patty.
263
00:10:06,839 --> 00:10:08,007
[CLICKS]
264
00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:09,508
Granddad,
you gotta ask yourself,
265
00:10:09,575 --> 00:10:10,810
would you really
be better off
266
00:10:10,876 --> 00:10:13,612
if you had beaten up
a blind old man in the street?
267
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,214
It was a Nigga Moment,
Granddad.
268
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,882
[RINGING]
You gotta let it go.
269
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,552
Maybe you're right.
270
00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:21,454
You have reached
the Freeman residence.
271
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,422
If this is a lovely cutie-pie,
272
00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:24,957
please leave a message.
273
00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:27,593
Everybody else should just
hang up right now,
274
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:28,828
because I'm not interested.
275
00:10:28,894 --> 00:10:30,196
[BEEPS]
276
00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:32,098
RUCKUS:
Come on, Robert.
Pick up the phone.
277
00:10:32,164 --> 00:10:35,201
Pick up the phone.
I know you there in hiding.
278
00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:37,837
I seen you on the news
getting your black ass whupped
279
00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:40,006
by that blind, old monkey.
280
00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:42,475
That's why they shouldn't
let niggas go shopping.
281
00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:43,976
Call me back.
282
00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:46,545
Don't you walk away
from this answering machine.
283
00:10:46,612 --> 00:10:48,714
[♪♪♪]
284
00:10:48,781 --> 00:10:50,415
Granddad,
just let it die.
285
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,684
I promise you,
286
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:53,185
nobody's gonna call you
a punk.
287
00:10:53,252 --> 00:10:54,186
RILEY:
I will.
288
00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:56,622
[DOOR CLOSES]
Well, Riley will.
289
00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:59,158
Granddad.
290
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:00,593
[SIGHS]
291
00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:07,666
[CAR APPROACHING]
292
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:10,936
[TIRES SQUEALING]
293
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:14,607
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING
ON CAR RADIO]
294
00:11:16,108 --> 00:11:17,343
[TIRES SCREECH]
295
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:20,379
[♪♪♪]
296
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,728
I can't believe Granddad went
back to fight that man.
297
00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:38,330
RILEY:
Yo!
298
00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:40,066
Check this out, Huey.
299
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,601
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING]
300
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:46,305
RILEY:
All right, all right.
301
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,207
Wait. Wait, wait.
302
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:50,342
Watch. Watch, watch.
W-watch this.
303
00:11:50,409 --> 00:11:52,945
Here it comes.
Here it comes. Oh!
304
00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:54,046
Eat this right here!
305
00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:55,281
That song's shit.
306
00:11:55,347 --> 00:11:56,749
[GROANING]
307
00:11:59,518 --> 00:12:01,487
RILEY:
Hey, you ever notice
308
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,155
whenever someone throws
a chair,
309
00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:05,157
a brawl jumps off?
310
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:07,026
Aren't you worried
about Granddad?
311
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:11,030
Look, you wanna
see it again?
312
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:13,132
Hey, look. Look.
L-look, look, see?
313
00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:14,433
I think you don't
even have
314
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,802
to hit nobody
with a chair.
315
00:12:16,869 --> 00:12:19,505
And niggas will still
start wilin' out.
316
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,140
[CAR DOOR SHUTS]
317
00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:24,376
[DOOR OPENS]
318
00:12:26,178 --> 00:12:28,180
Well, you don't
look hurt.
319
00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:29,782
Two weeks.
320
00:12:29,849 --> 00:12:32,651
Good for you.
A rematch in two weeks.
321
00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:34,186
This'll be great.
322
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:37,022
Hey, we might be able
to make some money off this.
323
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,458
"The Slugfest
in Woodcrest." Yeah.
324
00:12:40,893 --> 00:12:42,628
[♪♪♪]
325
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:46,365
You don't understand, boy.
I have to do this.
326
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,466
[SIGHS]
327
00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:48,601
Follow me.
328
00:12:51,904 --> 00:12:53,606
I want you to see
what you're up against.
329
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,143
[TRADITIONAL JAPANESE MUSIC
PLAYING]
330
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:14,960
[GRUNTING]
331
00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:17,963
[SCREAMS]
332
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,168
[GURGLING]
333
00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:23,936
Holy shit.
334
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:26,205
You remember the way
he dodged your punch?
335
00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:28,541
Your enemy is the Zatoichi.
336
00:13:28,607 --> 00:13:30,442
The Blind Swordsman.
337
00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:32,044
His ears give him
more information
338
00:13:32,111 --> 00:13:33,712
than all your senses
put together.
339
00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:37,516
If you underestimate him,
he will kill you.
340
00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:39,051
[SCREAMING]
341
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:41,320
Ah!
342
00:13:42,788 --> 00:13:44,723
You must train.
343
00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:46,192
I won't fail you.
344
00:13:46,258 --> 00:13:47,626
I'm not afraid.
345
00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:49,562
Oh, you will be.
346
00:13:49,628 --> 00:13:52,097
You will be.
347
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,432
[♪♪♪]
348
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,834
GRANDDAD:
And a one, two...
349
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:57,536
And a three...
Wa-ta!
350
00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:58,938
[BATTLE CRIES]
351
00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:03,075
[GROANING]
352
00:14:06,812 --> 00:14:09,114
Ah. Between me
and you,
353
00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:11,584
your granddad shouldn't
be too worried.
354
00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:13,819
Everybody knows
niggas can't fight.
355
00:14:13,886 --> 00:14:14,920
I'm sorry?
356
00:14:14,987 --> 00:14:17,790
You heard me, nigga.
Niggas can't fight.
357
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:20,125
They don't possess
the strength of character
358
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,828
or the mental quickness
to be a great fighter.
359
00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:25,497
That's why all the best
fighters in the world
360
00:14:25,564 --> 00:14:27,967
have always been white men.
361
00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:29,168
Jack Dempsey,
362
00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:30,836
Rocky Marciano,
363
00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:32,204
"Slyvester" Stallone.
364
00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:34,506
And don't forget
Ralph Macchio.
365
00:14:34,573 --> 00:14:37,543
You name me one great
black heavyweight fighter.
366
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,311
Name one. Go ahead.
Try and name one.
367
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:40,412
See that?
You can't do it.
368
00:14:40,479 --> 00:14:41,614
What?
What, what, what?
369
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:44,016
Oh, oh, oh. You wanna pull Ali
out your ass?
370
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:45,417
That what you
thinking about?
371
00:14:45,484 --> 00:14:46,619
Muhammad Ali?
372
00:14:46,685 --> 00:14:47,987
Well, if that nigga's
so tough,
373
00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:50,489
then why he didn't
go to Vietnam?
374
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:51,690
I'll tell you why.
375
00:14:51,757 --> 00:14:53,492
'Cause he was scared.
That's why.
376
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:57,096
Shoot. "No Vietnamese
ever called me nigga."
377
00:14:57,162 --> 00:14:59,031
I call him a nigga
eight times
378
00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:00,866
before I have breakfast.
379
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:03,035
Now, what he gonna do?
Hold on, I'll make it nine.
380
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:05,804
Nigga!
381
00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:07,873
[TRADITIONAL JAPANESE MUSIC
PLAYING]
382
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:16,215
I don't understand
why I'm blindfolded.
383
00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:18,284
HUEY:
Because the enemy
cannot see.
384
00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,352
But, see, the thing is,
385
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:23,188
I don't have super hearing,
so I don't get why I'm--
386
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:24,890
HUEY: Fight!
[YELLING]
387
00:15:24,957 --> 00:15:26,492
Ow!
388
00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:27,693
Stop!
389
00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:30,729
Jean-Claude Van Damme
390
00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:32,631
is the best martial artist
in the world.
391
00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:35,000
He killed a man
with his butt cheek power.
392
00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:37,536
Steven Seagal, David Carradine,
393
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:38,570
Chuck Norris.
394
00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:40,572
Shoot. Walker, Texas Ranger?
395
00:15:40,639 --> 00:15:42,508
Now, that's a karate man
right there.
396
00:15:42,574 --> 00:15:43,642
[GRANDDAD SCREAMING]
397
00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:45,477
[CRUNCH]
398
00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:48,881
HUEY:
Word got out that my granddad
was training for a rematch,
399
00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:51,150
and it quickly became
the talk of the town.
400
00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:56,955
What was that?
401
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,090
An exhibition?
402
00:15:59,391 --> 00:16:02,061
You need emotional content.
403
00:16:03,395 --> 00:16:05,097
Now, try again.
404
00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:07,166
Oooooh-ah-da!
405
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:13,772
Damn! That hurt.
406
00:16:13,839 --> 00:16:14,907
Damn it, boy!
407
00:16:14,973 --> 00:16:15,974
Hoo. Haa.
408
00:16:16,041 --> 00:16:17,209
Ooh.
409
00:16:17,276 --> 00:16:20,646
Everybody knows niggas
climb trees, not kick 'em.
410
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:22,715
[LAUGHS]
411
00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:24,516
HUEY:
Riley had the brilliant idea
412
00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:27,519
to take advance orders for
the DVD release of the fight,
413
00:16:27,586 --> 00:16:29,822
and take a little action
on the side.
414
00:16:29,888 --> 00:16:31,156
GRANDDAD:
Ugh! Pain.
415
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:38,530
He hired a street team
to create the necessary hype.
416
00:16:38,597 --> 00:16:40,766
[♪♪♪]
417
00:16:56,715 --> 00:16:57,950
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
418
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:02,988
HUEY:
The fight had a huge turnout.
419
00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:04,223
MAN:
Come on...
420
00:17:04,289 --> 00:17:07,559
Seems like watching
niggas act stupid
421
00:17:07,626 --> 00:17:10,429
was becoming America's
favorite pastime.
422
00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:11,930
Hey, listen up!
423
00:17:11,997 --> 00:17:14,299
I'm gonna tell y'all
one more time.
424
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:18,470
This fight ain't startin'
till I get $10 from all y'all.
425
00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:21,839
Hey. You. Nah, nigga,
I didn't get yours yet.
426
00:17:21,906 --> 00:17:23,308
Give me that.
427
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,810
That's the difference
between private Nigga Moments
428
00:17:25,877 --> 00:17:27,311
and public Nigga Moments.
429
00:17:27,378 --> 00:17:29,114
A private Nigga Moment
shames you.
430
00:17:29,181 --> 00:17:32,651
A public Nigga Moment
shames the whole race.
431
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:35,254
Ooh, this is it.
432
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:37,756
I'm gonna kick
some ass now.
433
00:17:37,823 --> 00:17:41,293
Granddad, the only way to win
is not to fight.
434
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:42,795
That's right, Robert.
435
00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:45,597
Nobody's gonna call you
a fruity boy
436
00:17:45,664 --> 00:17:48,867
or a pansy pants
if you don't do this.
437
00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:50,035
RILEY:
I will.
438
00:17:50,102 --> 00:17:52,304
Right.
Well, Riley will.
439
00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:54,573
MAN:
I mean, everybody's
real focused so far.
440
00:17:55,941 --> 00:17:56,875
MAN 2:
Here we go.
441
00:17:56,942 --> 00:17:58,644
[CROWD MURMURING]
442
00:17:58,710 --> 00:17:59,978
You scared?
443
00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:02,981
Yeah. You scared,
ain't ya, bitch nigga?
444
00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:04,817
I can smell
the bitch in ya.
445
00:18:04,883 --> 00:18:07,853
[SNIFFING]
Hm, hm, mm...
446
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,721
Ooh, that's
vintage bitch.
447
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:12,257
You must have
Alzheimer's, old man.
448
00:18:12,324 --> 00:18:14,259
You already forgot
that ass-whupping?
449
00:18:14,326 --> 00:18:15,828
Uh-oh. Huh-huh.
450
00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:17,629
Oh, I hear ya coming.
451
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:21,033
HUEY:
And as I watched Stinkmeaner
move blindly around the ring,
452
00:18:21,099 --> 00:18:23,735
I had a terrifying realization.
453
00:18:23,802 --> 00:18:25,771
He wasn't a trained swordsman,
454
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:28,307
and he didn't have
super hearing.
455
00:18:28,373 --> 00:18:31,810
He was a blind, old man
who had just gotten lucky.
456
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:35,547
Granddad! Wait!
No, stop!
457
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,789
RILEY:
Come on, Granddad.
458
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:44,990
[CROWD CHATTERING]
459
00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:02,040
I'm gonna
keep comin' anyway!
460
00:19:02,107 --> 00:19:04,042
[YELLING]
461
00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:05,944
MAN:
Damn! Kick him
in the nut.
462
00:19:06,011 --> 00:19:08,514
[BATTLE CRY]
463
00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:13,619
You know, we could all
be reading a book right now.
464
00:19:15,954 --> 00:19:17,623
[SCREAMS]
465
00:19:23,462 --> 00:19:25,230
MAN 3:
He got what
he deserved, man.
466
00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:26,465
MAN:
Come on, now.
467
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:27,900
Wait a minute.
468
00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:30,502
MAN 2:
Oh. Oh, my goodness.
469
00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:31,637
I can't believe it.
470
00:19:31,703 --> 00:19:34,106
RILEY:
Dang, Granddad!
471
00:19:34,172 --> 00:19:35,741
You didn't have to kill him.
472
00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:37,843
HUEY:
And so, Granddad emerged
473
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:40,512
from the Nigga Moment
victorious.
474
00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:42,214
Congratulations,
Robert.
475
00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:44,983
I told you a nigga
that black couldn't fight.
476
00:19:45,050 --> 00:19:47,486
Whew! Good goin'.
477
00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:48,987
MAN 4:
Hey, that wasn't worth it, man.
478
00:19:49,054 --> 00:19:50,155
I had my fingers crossed.
479
00:19:50,222 --> 00:19:51,356
MAN 5:
I want my money.
480
00:19:51,423 --> 00:19:52,424
MAN 6:
You owe me money, man.
481
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:53,825
Gimme my money back!
482
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:56,428
I want my money now.
483
00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:58,130
Gimme my damn money, kid.
484
00:19:58,196 --> 00:20:01,500
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING]
485
00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:04,970
WOMAN:
Oh, my God, a chair!
486
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,371
MAN 7:
Hey, what does he think--?
487
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:12,311
MAN:
I'm mad, man!
488
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:15,047
[YELLING & GRUNTING]
489
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,082
Niggas.
490
00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:18,517
[SIRENS WAILING]
491
00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:20,686
HUEY:
As he contemplated
spending the remainder
492
00:20:20,752 --> 00:20:22,554
of his natural life in prison,
493
00:20:22,621 --> 00:20:24,723
Granddad never stopped
to realize
494
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:27,159
that he had gotten the respect
he so desperately wanted.
495
00:20:27,225 --> 00:20:30,796
Yo, that mug killed a blind,
old man with his bare hands.
496
00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:33,098
Now, that's
gangsta.
497
00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:36,001
Robert Jebediah
Freeman?
498
00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:39,371
Tom and I had gotten
the fight licensed
499
00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:42,874
by the state boxing commission
at the last minute,
500
00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:46,144
legally indemnifying Granddad
against Stinkmeaner's death.
501
00:20:46,211 --> 00:20:49,648
But he was still pretty
shook up by the whole thing.
502
00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:53,518
Colonel Stinkmeaner had
no family and no friends.
503
00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:56,822
He lived a life without love
or companionship,
504
00:20:56,888 --> 00:20:58,056
or even pets.
505
00:20:58,123 --> 00:21:00,792
He was a horrible,
awful human being.
506
00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:03,695
And in truth, the world
was better off with him dead.
507
00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:05,764
Still, he was our brother.
508
00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:08,300
Lord, please forgive us
for taking this man's life.
509
00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:10,335
Why you say "us"?
You killed him--
510
00:21:10,402 --> 00:21:12,537
Shut your ass and pray, boy.
511
00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:14,806
[♪♪♪]
512
00:21:19,478 --> 00:21:21,680
[♪♪♪]
35415
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