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00:00:03,934 --> 00:00:08,400
Subtitles : RaceMan
www.forom.com
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00:00:16,067 --> 00:00:18,467
* Love and marriage *
3
00:00:18,467 --> 00:00:20,934
* Love and marriage *
4
00:00:20,934 --> 00:00:22,734
* Go together like *
5
00:00:22,734 --> 00:00:25,200
* A horse and carriage *
6
00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:29,200
* This I tell ya, brother *
7
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,133
* You can't have one *
8
00:00:31,133 --> 00:00:34,033
* Without the other *
9
00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:36,334
* Love and marriage *
10
00:00:36,334 --> 00:00:38,934
* Love and marriage *
11
00:00:38,934 --> 00:00:40,334
* It's an institute *
12
00:00:40,334 --> 00:00:42,734
* You can't disparage *
13
00:00:42,734 --> 00:00:46,501
* Ask the local gentry *
14
00:00:46,501 --> 00:00:51,067
* And they will say
It's elementary *
15
00:00:51,067 --> 00:00:55,868
* Try, try, try
To separate them *
16
00:00:55,868 --> 00:00:59,567
* It's an illusion *
17
00:00:59,567 --> 00:01:04,701
* Try, try, try
And you will only come *
18
00:01:04,701 --> 00:01:08,133
* To this conclusion *
19
00:01:08,133 --> 00:01:10,234
* Love and marriage **
20
00:01:16,434 --> 00:01:17,934
[DOORBELL RINGS]
21
00:01:17,934 --> 00:01:19,434
One minute!
22
00:01:19,434 --> 00:01:21,801
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
23
00:01:24,968 --> 00:01:27,467
Will you please
turn it down?
24
00:01:27,467 --> 00:01:29,968
[ROCK MUSIC
CONTINUES TO PLAY]
25
00:01:29,968 --> 00:01:31,167
Thanks.
26
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,767
Turn it off!
27
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,934
[MUSIC STOPS]
28
00:01:42,934 --> 00:01:44,801
I'm sorry.
29
00:01:44,801 --> 00:01:47,200
You have no idea
what it's like
30
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,133
having music
blaring all day long.
31
00:01:49,133 --> 00:01:50,634
Yes, we do.
32
00:01:50,634 --> 00:01:52,667
That's why we came over.
33
00:01:52,667 --> 00:01:53,868
I'm sorry.
34
00:01:53,868 --> 00:01:55,300
It's just that the kids
35
00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:56,667
were home sick
from school today.
36
00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:58,501
Nothing serious,
I hope.
37
00:01:58,501 --> 00:02:01,167
No, just one of those bugs
that goes around.
38
00:02:01,167 --> 00:02:03,033
You know, where they're sick
for two hours,
39
00:02:03,033 --> 00:02:06,000
then they make you sick
for the rest of your life.
40
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,501
Coffee?
41
00:02:07,501 --> 00:02:09,000
No.
No.
42
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,400
Steve and I can't wait
until we have kids.
43
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,901
Giving birth
to a child must be
44
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:16,400
one of the most
beautiful experiences
45
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,300
in God's universe.
46
00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:19,901
I wouldn't know.
47
00:02:19,901 --> 00:02:22,267
I was unconscious
for a week.
48
00:02:24,067 --> 00:02:25,968
I kind of miss that.
49
00:02:27,901 --> 00:02:29,400
BUD:
Mom!
50
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,434
Kelly tied my face
to the speaker!
51
00:02:32,434 --> 00:02:34,934
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
52
00:02:34,934 --> 00:02:36,434
Ma!
53
00:02:36,434 --> 00:02:37,734
Excuse me.
54
00:02:43,868 --> 00:02:45,367
The mistakes she's making!
55
00:02:45,367 --> 00:02:49,367
Maybe we should loan her
some of our child-rearing books!
56
00:02:49,367 --> 00:02:50,868
I don't know,
Marcie!
57
00:02:50,868 --> 00:02:53,367
I don't think Al and Peggy
read much!
58
00:02:53,367 --> 00:02:55,734
[MUSIC STOPS]
59
00:02:57,467 --> 00:03:01,868
I wish we could spend
more time with Bud and Kelly.
60
00:03:01,868 --> 00:03:02,934
I just know we'd have
61
00:03:02,934 --> 00:03:05,467
such a positive, creative
influence on them.
62
00:03:05,467 --> 00:03:08,334
PEG:
And if I hear another peep
out of you two,
63
00:03:08,334 --> 00:03:11,801
I am gonna tie
your throats together.
64
00:03:11,801 --> 00:03:13,601
Well, that's
pretty creative.
65
00:03:13,601 --> 00:03:16,100
I'm sorry you had
to be here for this.
66
00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:18,100
I don't want you
to get the wrong idea.
67
00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:19,601
Kids aren't so bad.
68
00:03:19,601 --> 00:03:21,467
I remember,
one Mother's Day,
69
00:03:21,467 --> 00:03:23,734
they surprised me
with the sweetest...
70
00:03:23,734 --> 00:03:26,234
Oh, no,
that wasn't them.
71
00:03:26,234 --> 00:03:27,901
I saw that on TV.
72
00:03:29,701 --> 00:03:31,067
Oh, Peggy.
73
00:03:31,067 --> 00:03:33,567
You know, it sounds like
you need to get away.
74
00:03:33,567 --> 00:03:34,834
I thought about that,
75
00:03:34,834 --> 00:03:36,501
but then Al and the kids
76
00:03:36,501 --> 00:03:39,601
would just hunt me down
and drag me back.
77
00:03:39,601 --> 00:03:42,133
No, I meant
for a vacation.
78
00:03:42,133 --> 00:03:44,634
Hire a babysitter
and take off for the weekend.
79
00:03:44,634 --> 00:03:46,634
We used to have
babysitters,
80
00:03:46,634 --> 00:03:49,467
but word of mouth
kills you.
81
00:03:49,467 --> 00:03:50,934
What about your relatives?
82
00:03:50,934 --> 00:03:53,701
Again, it's that
word of mouth thing.
83
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,701
Well, if you really want
to get out of town,
84
00:03:55,701 --> 00:03:57,901
we wouldn't mind taking
the kids for a weekend,
85
00:03:57,901 --> 00:03:59,000
Would we, Steve?
86
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,701
Well, I...
The ones upstairs?
87
00:04:00,701 --> 00:04:02,200
It would be fun.
88
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:06,200
It would be good practice
for when we have children.
89
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:07,701
You wouldn't mind?
90
00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:11,868
Of course not.
91
00:04:14,601 --> 00:04:17,200
Oh, hi, honey. Look,
Steve and Marcie are here.
92
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:18,634
Yeah, I know.
93
00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:20,634
I've been
circling the block
94
00:04:20,634 --> 00:04:23,467
waiting for them
to leave,
95
00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:26,467
but I finally
ran out of gas.
96
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:29,901
Well, they've agreed to take
the kids for the weekend.
97
00:04:29,901 --> 00:04:31,133
Great!
98
00:04:31,133 --> 00:04:33,534
Yeah, so you and me
can go away by ourselves.
99
00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:35,634
You mean
we have to leave?
100
00:04:35,634 --> 00:04:38,567
Gee, it sounded good
for a second.
101
00:04:38,567 --> 00:04:41,067
Come on, Al, we never get
to go anywhere.
102
00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:44,100
Honey, if I wanted to
go away, even with you,
103
00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:46,100
it wouldn't be
this weekend.
104
00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:47,601
The fight's on Saturday.
105
00:04:47,601 --> 00:04:48,601
Oh, Al.
106
00:04:48,601 --> 00:04:50,100
You always
watch sports.
107
00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:51,601
Well, not this weekend!
108
00:04:51,601 --> 00:04:53,100
We're going away.
109
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:54,601
I'm watching the fight.
110
00:04:54,601 --> 00:04:56,100
You're not watching
the fight.
111
00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:57,601
I'm watching the fight!
112
00:04:57,601 --> 00:04:59,067
You're not watching
the fight, Al.
113
00:04:59,067 --> 00:05:00,467
Oh, really, dear?
114
00:05:01,767 --> 00:05:04,767
It's not being carried
on network TV.
115
00:05:04,767 --> 00:05:06,267
It's only on cable.
116
00:05:06,267 --> 00:05:07,801
Ha! And we don't
have cable TV.
117
00:05:07,801 --> 00:05:09,267
Well, that settles it.
118
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,767
Come on, Marcie,
let's get the phone book
119
00:05:11,767 --> 00:05:14,033
and pick a nice, cheap
little love nest.
120
00:05:15,434 --> 00:05:16,934
This was your idea?
121
00:05:16,934 --> 00:05:18,167
No.
122
00:05:18,167 --> 00:05:19,667
I can't believe it.
123
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:22,033
The entire weekend I have
to spend alone with my wife.
124
00:05:22,033 --> 00:05:23,667
Steve, you are
the biggest--
125
00:05:23,667 --> 00:05:25,167
By the way,
do you have cable?
126
00:05:25,167 --> 00:05:26,367
No.
127
00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:29,033
The biggest idiot
I ever met!
128
00:05:30,434 --> 00:05:31,968
You got me into this.
129
00:05:31,968 --> 00:05:33,834
The entire weekend
alone with my wife.
130
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,400
Al, why don't you just go.
Relax. Enjoy yourself.
131
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,400
Steve, look out
in the kitchen there.
132
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:39,767
You see that redhead?
133
00:05:43,234 --> 00:05:45,667
Try to picture her
in heat.
134
00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:51,400
I'm sorry, Al.
135
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:55,334
Yeah. That and a dime will
get you a cup of coffee.
136
00:05:55,334 --> 00:05:56,334
Where, Al?
137
00:05:56,334 --> 00:05:57,601
Shut up.
138
00:05:57,601 --> 00:06:00,000
I gotta think. I gotta find
a place to watch the fight
139
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,567
so I can get out
of this.
140
00:06:01,567 --> 00:06:04,334
Al, I got the answer
to all your problems.
141
00:06:04,334 --> 00:06:06,601
Well, not all your problems,
but this problem.
142
00:06:06,601 --> 00:06:08,968
The fight is being carried
on Spectravision,
143
00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:10,667
and I know
who's got it.
144
00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:11,934
This little place
145
00:06:11,934 --> 00:06:14,334
right across the state
line in Wisconsin,
146
00:06:14,334 --> 00:06:16,334
the Come 'n' Go motel.
147
00:06:18,834 --> 00:06:22,467
How would you know
about a place like that?
148
00:06:22,467 --> 00:06:25,334
I've come and gone
a few times.
149
00:06:25,334 --> 00:06:26,367
With Marcie?
150
00:06:26,367 --> 00:06:27,834
Well, actually,
before Marcie.
151
00:06:27,834 --> 00:06:29,968
You dog, you.
152
00:06:29,968 --> 00:06:31,868
Now, don't say anything
to Marcie.
153
00:06:31,868 --> 00:06:33,400
I wouldn't want her
to find out
154
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,467
about some of the wild oats
I sowed.
155
00:06:35,467 --> 00:06:37,234
So this is
just between us, okay?
156
00:06:37,234 --> 00:06:38,734
Sure. Hey, Peg,
157
00:06:38,734 --> 00:06:40,834
Steve just recommended
this little place,
158
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,567
the Come 'n' Go motel!
159
00:06:42,567 --> 00:06:44,834
He says it's
a real passion pit!
160
00:06:46,234 --> 00:06:49,467
I don't remember us
going there, Steve.
161
00:06:51,234 --> 00:06:52,701
Marcie!
162
00:06:52,701 --> 00:06:56,100
I can't believe
you forgot that night.
163
00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,601
I don't know
where my mind is.
164
00:07:01,601 --> 00:07:03,100
I'm sorry, Steve.
165
00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:05,701
I should hope so.
166
00:07:07,834 --> 00:07:09,200
But I forgive you.
167
00:07:12,434 --> 00:07:14,434
You're really
gonna love this place.
168
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,934
Oh, gee,
it sounds great.
169
00:07:15,934 --> 00:07:18,467
I'm gonna make
the reservation right now.
170
00:07:18,467 --> 00:07:19,934
That was beautiful,
Steve.
171
00:07:19,934 --> 00:07:22,868
Oh, thanks, Al. And thanks
for selling me out too.
172
00:07:22,868 --> 00:07:24,167
No problem.
173
00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:26,467
Now, listen, this is gonna
work out great for me,
174
00:07:26,467 --> 00:07:28,534
except for one thing.
175
00:07:28,534 --> 00:07:31,767
She's gonna want some sex.
176
00:07:31,767 --> 00:07:35,367
Now, do I watch the fight first,
then give her a jump?
177
00:07:37,234 --> 00:07:40,367
No. No, that's no good,
because with that on my mind,
178
00:07:40,367 --> 00:07:41,868
I'll be all anxious
and tense.
179
00:07:41,868 --> 00:07:44,000
I won't be able
to enjoy the fight. No.
180
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,033
Best thing to do would be
to bed her down first.
181
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:49,834
That way, I'll enjoy
the rest of the day.
182
00:07:49,834 --> 00:07:51,767
Now, let's see...
Fight comes on at 5:00,
183
00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:53,667
figure a half-hour
for the drive,
184
00:07:53,667 --> 00:07:54,868
check-in, 10 minutes,
185
00:07:54,868 --> 00:07:57,100
another five minutes
to go to the bathroom,
186
00:07:57,100 --> 00:07:59,467
then I pleasure Peg.
187
00:07:59,467 --> 00:08:00,934
That should give me
enough time
188
00:08:00,934 --> 00:08:03,701
to shower, eat, and get ready
to have a good time.
189
00:08:03,701 --> 00:08:05,467
I love you, Al.
190
00:08:05,467 --> 00:08:08,300
Right back at you.
191
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:16,100
I'm really looking
forward to this.
192
00:08:16,100 --> 00:08:18,334
I think we'll learn a lot
about raising children
193
00:08:18,334 --> 00:08:20,501
and they'll learn a lot
about being themselves,
194
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:23,534
and if we run into any problems,
we'll get the answer.
195
00:08:23,534 --> 00:08:25,367
One thing's for sure.
196
00:08:25,367 --> 00:08:27,601
It will be a nice change
for the kids.
197
00:08:27,601 --> 00:08:29,968
AL: You have no vote!
You're staying with them!
198
00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:34,667
KELLY:
But, Dad, they're gross.
199
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:39,133
AL: It's not my fault
they moved in next door.
200
00:08:39,133 --> 00:08:42,000
PEG: Shut up, Al.
They have their uses.
201
00:08:43,334 --> 00:08:45,200
[DOORBELL RINGS]
202
00:08:51,834 --> 00:08:54,834
This is very nice
of you two.
203
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,200
Oh, it's
our pleasure.
204
00:08:58,334 --> 00:09:00,834
The dog too.
205
00:09:00,834 --> 00:09:03,133
Better and better.
206
00:09:03,133 --> 00:09:06,100
Now, Marcie, here's a list
of dos and don'ts.
207
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:08,701
And a very special don't:
No parties.
208
00:09:08,701 --> 00:09:10,000
Mom.
209
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,300
Especially Kelly.
210
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,234
It's a promise
we made the police.
211
00:09:14,534 --> 00:09:17,434
Come on, Peg. We should've left
two minutes ago.
212
00:09:17,434 --> 00:09:18,934
Ooh, you're anxious.
213
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,801
More than
you can imagine.
214
00:09:24,367 --> 00:09:27,868
Well, kids, I think your parents
are really gonna miss you.
215
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,367
[CAR ENGINE REVS]
216
00:09:29,367 --> 00:09:31,234
PEG:
Al, wait for me!
217
00:09:33,868 --> 00:09:35,868
[RUNNING FOOTSTEPS]
218
00:09:35,868 --> 00:09:37,367
[CAR DOOR CLOSES]
219
00:09:37,367 --> 00:09:38,734
[CAR SPEEDS AWAY]
220
00:09:40,868 --> 00:09:43,367
Now, Bud, Kelly...
221
00:09:43,367 --> 00:09:45,167
don't think of us
as babysitters.
222
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:47,100
Think of us
as best friends.
223
00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:49,267
Steve, would you like
to tell our best friends
224
00:09:49,267 --> 00:09:50,667
what we have
for them?
225
00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:52,434
Not really, Marcie.
226
00:09:52,434 --> 00:09:53,934
Then I will.
227
00:09:53,934 --> 00:09:55,434
We have art projects
228
00:09:55,434 --> 00:09:58,434
and a game recommended
by Psychology Today.
229
00:09:58,434 --> 00:10:00,934
It's a game
of role playing.
230
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,267
I'm gonna
make a call.
231
00:10:03,267 --> 00:10:04,801
I'm gonna use
your bathroom.
232
00:10:06,734 --> 00:10:09,467
We're having some fun now,
huh, Marce?
233
00:10:09,467 --> 00:10:11,834
I hope you're not gonna
be this way
234
00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:13,033
with our children.
235
00:10:13,033 --> 00:10:16,234
I'm hoping our children
will like us.
236
00:10:16,234 --> 00:10:18,367
These children
like us.
237
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:21,534
No, I'm at
these dorks' house.
238
00:10:21,534 --> 00:10:24,067
Yeah, give everybody
this number.
239
00:10:24,067 --> 00:10:26,067
They can call as late
as they want to.
240
00:10:26,067 --> 00:10:27,334
It's like death here.
241
00:10:28,601 --> 00:10:30,100
Well,
all in all,
242
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:32,434
I think it's gonna
turn out just fine.
243
00:10:32,434 --> 00:10:34,801
Hey, Kelly, look!
244
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:38,934
Even Mrs. Rhoades has
a bigger bra size than you.
245
00:10:46,734 --> 00:10:49,734
Oh, gee!
The room is beautiful.
246
00:10:49,734 --> 00:10:51,567
Get in
the bed, Peg.
247
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:54,667
Al!
248
00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:56,167
Peg, it's almost 5:00.
249
00:10:56,167 --> 00:10:57,434
I can't believe
the traffic.
250
00:10:57,434 --> 00:10:58,801
Why does everybody
always stop
251
00:10:58,801 --> 00:11:00,234
and watch somebody
change a tire?
252
00:11:00,234 --> 00:11:01,767
When I wait in traffic
that long,
253
00:11:01,767 --> 00:11:03,767
the least they can show me
is some mangled bodies.
254
00:11:03,767 --> 00:11:05,200
Get in the bed, Peg.
255
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:06,300
Take it easy, honey.
256
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:07,801
We have all night.
257
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:10,300
But I love you, Peg,
and time's a-wasting. Let's go.
258
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:13,234
Wait. Let me check
one thing.
259
00:11:13,234 --> 00:11:14,734
Ah! Spectravision.
260
00:11:14,734 --> 00:11:16,734
Okay, I'm ready.
Let's go.
261
00:11:16,734 --> 00:11:18,434
Wait, wait.
We promised the kids
262
00:11:18,434 --> 00:11:20,100
we'd call them
when we got here.
263
00:11:21,734 --> 00:11:23,234
I don't know.
264
00:11:23,234 --> 00:11:24,734
The mood is fading.
265
00:11:24,734 --> 00:11:27,701
Gee, I've been
there before.
266
00:11:27,701 --> 00:11:29,133
I'm ready.
267
00:11:32,267 --> 00:11:35,267
You know, Peg, this is nice,
just the two of us.
268
00:11:35,267 --> 00:11:37,267
We don't have to rush
269
00:11:37,267 --> 00:11:40,267
because we're worried the kids
are gonna be coming in.
270
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:41,701
ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,
271
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,634
Would you please risefor our national anthem?
272
00:11:48,267 --> 00:11:50,767
"I am the father
of French impressionism.
273
00:11:50,767 --> 00:11:52,067
Who am I?"
274
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,067
Now, Marcie, let's give
the kids a chance.
275
00:12:00,234 --> 00:12:01,501
Marcie?
276
00:12:01,501 --> 00:12:04,234
Edouard Manet.
277
00:12:04,234 --> 00:12:05,667
Right.
278
00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:10,100
Marcie and I have
200 points each
279
00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:11,601
and you have none.
Ha, ha.
280
00:12:11,601 --> 00:12:13,968
This sucks, Marcie.
281
00:12:13,968 --> 00:12:15,634
Oh, very good, Steve.
282
00:12:15,634 --> 00:12:17,000
Did it ever occur
to you
283
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,033
that you're setting the tone
for the entire day?
284
00:12:19,033 --> 00:12:20,868
If you're negative,
they'll be negative.
285
00:12:20,868 --> 00:12:23,300
If I leave,
will they leave?
286
00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:27,033
You, my friend, are losing
fatherhood points.
287
00:12:27,033 --> 00:12:29,534
Besides, they're not
bothering anybody.
288
00:12:29,534 --> 00:12:32,434
Come on, Buck!
Time to play fox hunt!
289
00:12:34,734 --> 00:12:36,100
That's my fur!
290
00:12:37,734 --> 00:12:39,100
That's my fur!
291
00:12:40,234 --> 00:12:42,234
Your engagement present?
292
00:12:42,234 --> 00:12:44,234
Bud, get out here!
293
00:12:44,234 --> 00:12:46,734
Now, Steve,
let me handle this.
294
00:12:46,734 --> 00:12:49,601
You're just upset
because you paid for it.
295
00:12:52,834 --> 00:12:57,167
Now, Bud, you know what you did
was wrong, don't you?
296
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:59,133
Yes, ma'am.
297
00:12:59,133 --> 00:13:01,667
Good.
That will be all.
298
00:13:01,667 --> 00:13:03,067
That will be all?
No.
299
00:13:03,067 --> 00:13:05,033
Just wait until
I get this belt off,
300
00:13:05,033 --> 00:13:06,701
and that
will be all.
301
00:13:06,701 --> 00:13:08,200
Steve! We're sorry.
302
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,701
We're sorry.
You bet we're sorry.
303
00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,701
Sorry we ever
moved next door
304
00:13:11,701 --> 00:13:13,567
to the devil's
spawning ground.
305
00:13:15,067 --> 00:13:16,434
Can I go play now?
306
00:13:16,434 --> 00:13:17,534
Yes, sure.
307
00:13:17,534 --> 00:13:19,033
Come on, Buck!
308
00:13:19,033 --> 00:13:20,534
Time for pearl diving!
309
00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:21,901
Pearl diving?
310
00:13:23,734 --> 00:13:25,167
Bye,
Mr. Rhoades.
311
00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:26,634
Whoa.
Where you going?
312
00:13:26,634 --> 00:13:28,300
Out, where
there's life.
313
00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:29,601
No, you're not.
314
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:32,000
Your mother said if you were
too sick to go to school,
315
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,200
you're too sick to go out.
316
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,567
Well, how about
if I have a party over here?
317
00:13:35,567 --> 00:13:37,200
No parties.
318
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:41,234
I think I saved most of
our valuable stuff, Steve,
319
00:13:41,234 --> 00:13:43,934
And the rest
I'm sure will dry.
320
00:13:43,934 --> 00:13:46,567
Um, Mrs. Rhoades,
321
00:13:46,567 --> 00:13:49,200
Mr. Rhoades said that
if it's okay with you
322
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,367
that I can have a party.
323
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:57,167
Oh, nice, Steve.
Make me the bad guy.
324
00:13:57,167 --> 00:13:59,667
You heard Peggy say
no parties.
325
00:13:59,667 --> 00:14:02,501
You have me deeply
concerned, Steven.
326
00:14:02,501 --> 00:14:04,200
Well, if I can't have
a party,
327
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,267
can I at least have
a couple of friends over?
328
00:14:06,267 --> 00:14:07,767
I don't see
the harm in that.
329
00:14:07,767 --> 00:14:08,767
Do you, Steve?
330
00:14:08,767 --> 00:14:10,267
Yes, I do.
331
00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:11,801
Sure. Go ahead
and call them.
332
00:14:11,801 --> 00:14:13,400
[DOORBELL RINGS]
333
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:14,868
I already did.
334
00:14:16,567 --> 00:14:19,033
Listen, I really like
one of these guys.
335
00:14:19,033 --> 00:14:20,100
He's real nice,
336
00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:23,133
but don't make
any sudden moves, okay?
337
00:14:24,701 --> 00:14:27,567
I guess I can
dial 911 slowly.
338
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,534
Hi.
339
00:14:30,534 --> 00:14:32,200
Hey.
Hey.
Hmm.
340
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,701
This is Sean,
Debbie, and Dweep.
341
00:14:34,701 --> 00:14:36,701
Dweep just
got out.
342
00:14:36,701 --> 00:14:41,634
Human life
means nothing to me.
343
00:14:41,634 --> 00:14:43,067
Marcie.
344
00:14:45,734 --> 00:14:47,234
It's nice
to meet you.
345
00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:50,133
Just let me spread
out some paper,
346
00:14:50,133 --> 00:14:52,133
and we can all
sit down.
347
00:14:52,133 --> 00:14:57,167
Hey, we was playing
eyesies closies driving in.
348
00:14:57,167 --> 00:15:00,300
I think you need
a new mailbox.
349
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:04,367
Uh, Marcie, I think
we're low on milk.
350
00:15:04,367 --> 00:15:06,200
I'm just gonna run over
to Wisconsin
351
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,267
and pick some up.
352
00:15:08,267 --> 00:15:09,534
Freeze!
353
00:15:12,834 --> 00:15:14,834
Come on, Ramirez!
Hook him!
354
00:15:14,834 --> 00:15:17,334
Low! High! Cross!
You got him!
355
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,734
You got him!
356
00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:21,133
Get up!
357
00:15:22,434 --> 00:15:23,767
Come on, get up!
358
00:15:23,767 --> 00:15:25,634
Attaboy! He's up!
359
00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:27,100
Oh!
360
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,801
ANNOUNCER:
Ramirez nevershould have got up.
361
00:15:29,934 --> 00:15:30,934
Eight...
362
00:15:30,934 --> 00:15:31,934
Nine...
363
00:15:31,934 --> 00:15:33,100
10.
364
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,534
It's over!Wow, what a fight!
365
00:15:37,701 --> 00:15:39,701
* 10 cents a dance *
366
00:15:39,701 --> 00:15:42,100
* That's what
They pay me **
367
00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:43,434
Hi, Al.
368
00:15:43,434 --> 00:15:46,434
I found a lot
of nice things today.
369
00:15:46,434 --> 00:15:49,434
You know, I know
we have Kmarts at home,
370
00:15:49,434 --> 00:15:50,934
but there is
something so special
371
00:15:50,934 --> 00:15:53,501
about going out of town
to shop at one.
372
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:56,901
This is great, honey.
373
00:15:56,901 --> 00:15:58,067
Yeah.
374
00:15:58,067 --> 00:16:00,567
I think
the national anthem
375
00:16:00,567 --> 00:16:03,434
should be our song
from now on.
376
00:16:04,901 --> 00:16:08,067
When they hit
"the rockets' red glare,"
377
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:12,067
you were an animal, Al.
378
00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:13,934
I love
this country, Peg.
379
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,901
You know, it's so nice
being here alone,
380
00:16:17,901 --> 00:16:19,901
just the two of us.
381
00:16:19,901 --> 00:16:21,901
I know. But you
know something, Al?
382
00:16:21,901 --> 00:16:24,400
I never thought
I'd say this this soon,
383
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,434
but I miss the kids.
384
00:16:26,434 --> 00:16:27,601
What kids?
385
00:16:27,601 --> 00:16:30,100
Ours. The boy
and the girl, remember?
386
00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:32,100
Listen, honey,
we've had a great time,
387
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:34,100
but we don't need
to stay the night.
388
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:36,100
Why don't I call
Steve and Marcie
389
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:37,667
and tell them
we're coming home early.
390
00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:41,300
Unless you want
to do it again.
391
00:16:43,767 --> 00:16:44,801
Sorry.
392
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,200
Well, Dweep,
sure it's a nice ring,
393
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,200
but I think
that's why
394
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:54,067
they lock cemeteries
at night.
395
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,801
Shall we change
the subject?
396
00:16:59,801 --> 00:17:01,133
Debbie--
397
00:17:01,133 --> 00:17:05,300
Sean, where are you
planning to attend college?
398
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:08,133
Oh, well, I was hoping
to get a government job,
399
00:17:08,133 --> 00:17:09,968
you know, so I could
sell secrets.
400
00:17:09,968 --> 00:17:11,467
I love you, Sean.
401
00:17:11,467 --> 00:17:15,133
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
402
00:17:15,133 --> 00:17:16,634
So, what's
the plan?
403
00:17:16,634 --> 00:17:18,634
Are we just supposed
to sit here
404
00:17:18,634 --> 00:17:21,734
and wait for these two
to doze off or something?
405
00:17:21,734 --> 00:17:22,901
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
406
00:17:22,901 --> 00:17:24,801
I'll get it!
I'll get it!
407
00:17:26,067 --> 00:17:27,400
Hello.
408
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,033
Peggy! Hi!
409
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:31,901
Yeah, we're still here.
410
00:17:31,901 --> 00:17:33,300
How are you doing?
411
00:17:34,601 --> 00:17:36,100
You are?
That's great!
412
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:37,267
What?
413
00:17:37,267 --> 00:17:38,767
They're coming home!
414
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:40,767
Oh, thank goodness!
Thank goodness!
415
00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:43,434
You'll be home
in an hour?
416
00:17:43,434 --> 00:17:45,534
Hold on one second.
417
00:17:50,267 --> 00:17:51,267
I'm back.
418
00:17:52,534 --> 00:17:55,033
No, no. It's been
our pleasure.
419
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:56,367
They've been
little angels.
420
00:18:01,767 --> 00:18:03,267
No problems at all.
421
00:18:03,267 --> 00:18:04,734
Don't rush.
422
00:18:08,133 --> 00:18:09,300
Yeah!
423
00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:10,968
Don't rush, Steve?
424
00:18:10,968 --> 00:18:12,467
Look at them.
425
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,267
It'll be dark
in an hour.
426
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,200
Doesn't matter.
They're coming home.
427
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,968
They're gonna take
these little heathens away!
428
00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:27,167
I can't believe you
told Peggy, "No problem."
429
00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:28,467
What do you think's gonna happen
430
00:18:28,467 --> 00:18:30,567
the next time
they wanna go out of town?
431
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:33,400
They'll expect us
to take the kids again
432
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:36,234
because we did
such a good job.
433
00:18:36,234 --> 00:18:38,767
Next time, it might be
for a week.
434
00:18:38,767 --> 00:18:40,267
Then a month.
435
00:18:40,267 --> 00:18:43,634
And then one day,
they won't come back at all.
436
00:18:44,934 --> 00:18:46,434
We'll just say no.
437
00:18:46,434 --> 00:18:48,934
And then we'll be
the bad guys,
438
00:18:48,934 --> 00:18:50,434
the bad neighbors.
439
00:18:50,434 --> 00:18:51,868
No. They have to see
440
00:18:51,868 --> 00:18:54,701
we're not fit to care
for the little demons.
441
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:57,400
We're bored.
Why can't we have a party?
442
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,968
Because your mother
specifically said no parties.
443
00:18:59,968 --> 00:19:01,467
That's right. She did.
444
00:19:01,467 --> 00:19:03,968
And if we were
good babysitters,
445
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:05,968
the kind
people use again,
446
00:19:05,968 --> 00:19:07,300
we'd have to say no.
447
00:19:09,434 --> 00:19:11,434
Yes, of course
you can have a party.
448
00:19:11,434 --> 00:19:14,968
Can you get one together
in less than an hour?
449
00:19:14,968 --> 00:19:16,133
Sure.
450
00:19:16,133 --> 00:19:17,634
Well, go for it.
451
00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:20,133
Uh, Marcie, tell me
this is your plan:
452
00:19:20,133 --> 00:19:22,133
You're gonna get them
all together
453
00:19:22,133 --> 00:19:24,267
and blow them up, right?
454
00:19:24,267 --> 00:19:26,267
No. This
is better, Steve.
455
00:19:26,267 --> 00:19:27,767
Just as the party's
starting,
456
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:29,267
Al and Peggy will be here.
457
00:19:29,267 --> 00:19:31,367
And they'll see this wild party
starring Dweep,
458
00:19:31,367 --> 00:19:33,133
and they'll know
we're unfit.
459
00:19:33,133 --> 00:19:34,501
And they'll never ask us
460
00:19:34,501 --> 00:19:36,634
to care for their
precious offspring again.
461
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:39,567
Good news. Raven and
the Bloody 10 are coming.
462
00:19:39,567 --> 00:19:40,467
Gee, they're tough!
463
00:19:42,033 --> 00:19:43,467
All right!
All right!
464
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,434
You get everything?
465
00:19:46,434 --> 00:19:47,934
I think so.
466
00:19:47,934 --> 00:19:49,434
You take the towels?
467
00:19:49,434 --> 00:19:50,601
Of course.
468
00:19:50,601 --> 00:19:52,033
Hotel pads and pens?
469
00:19:52,033 --> 00:19:53,534
Yeah. And the soap.
470
00:19:53,534 --> 00:19:55,033
Good. And the ashtrays?
471
00:19:55,033 --> 00:19:56,968
Yeah. I think
we got everything.
472
00:19:56,968 --> 00:19:58,801
Before you close
the suitcase,
473
00:19:58,801 --> 00:20:00,234
you wanna grab
theYellow Pages.
474
00:20:00,234 --> 00:20:01,801
Al, it's Wisconsin.
475
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:04,434
Hey, you roll them up,
they make a great log.
476
00:20:05,767 --> 00:20:08,767
Ah, gee. We had
a great time, honey.
477
00:20:08,767 --> 00:20:10,100
Yeah.
478
00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:13,100
You know, this is the first time
we've been in a motel room
479
00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:14,601
since our honeymoon.
480
00:20:14,601 --> 00:20:16,968
Yeah. We still have
those towels.
481
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,300
Sixteen years
and you haven't changed a bit.
482
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:22,234
You know, you look
exactly the same
483
00:20:22,234 --> 00:20:24,868
as you did the day
we were married.
484
00:20:24,868 --> 00:20:26,334
Yeah, I know.
485
00:20:27,734 --> 00:20:30,601
Aren't you gonna say
the same about me?
486
00:20:30,601 --> 00:20:31,868
Well, honey, I bowl.
487
00:20:31,868 --> 00:20:33,100
You don't do anything.
488
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,567
Oh.
489
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:37,067
Oh, hey, Peg,
you look great.
490
00:20:37,067 --> 00:20:40,000
Much too good for
an old guy like me.
491
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,000
Oh, old guy?
Come on, Al.
492
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,501
You're in great shape.
493
00:20:43,501 --> 00:20:46,501
I bet you could have handled
either one of those bums
494
00:20:46,501 --> 00:20:48,234
that fought today.
495
00:20:48,234 --> 00:20:49,667
You know what,
I think you're right.
496
00:20:49,667 --> 00:20:50,734
Yeah.
497
00:20:50,734 --> 00:20:52,701
You know, I got
a pretty good left jab...
498
00:20:52,701 --> 00:20:53,901
for a shoe salesman.
499
00:20:53,901 --> 00:20:56,100
I tell you what I would have
done with that Gonzales.
500
00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:57,701
I'd have waited
till he dropped his hands.
501
00:20:57,701 --> 00:21:00,100
He always does that
when he doubles up with a hook.
502
00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:01,200
Then I'd have
stepped inside,
503
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,701
hooked to the head,
504
00:21:02,701 --> 00:21:04,200
uppercut, uppercut,
uppercut.
505
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,701
If that don't work,
506
00:21:05,701 --> 00:21:07,701
I'd take the legs out!
507
00:21:07,701 --> 00:21:10,000
[BOTH LAUGHING]
508
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,634
PEG:
Aah, ha, ha.
509
00:21:11,634 --> 00:21:14,100
AL:
Aaah.
510
00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:15,133
Mmm.
511
00:21:16,601 --> 00:21:19,601
Maybe we should call
Steve and Marcie
512
00:21:19,601 --> 00:21:20,734
and tell them
513
00:21:20,734 --> 00:21:22,467
we're not coming home
tonight.
514
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:27,868
Why bother? They said
it's no trouble.
515
00:21:29,634 --> 00:21:31,968
Oh, Al.
516
00:21:31,968 --> 00:21:36,667
* And the rockets'Red glare **
517
00:21:38,801 --> 00:21:41,734
* Things keep happenin'
I can't explain *
518
00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:46,434
* I love to sweat
And suck on the stain *
519
00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:52,234
* Well, I went to bed drunk
With a girl named Flo *
520
00:21:52,234 --> 00:21:56,067
* I woke up sober
With a buffalo *
521
00:22:00,501 --> 00:22:03,133
* I'm a fugitive
I only live *
522
00:22:03,133 --> 00:22:06,267
* To pummel *
523
00:22:06,267 --> 00:22:07,767
This will show them.
524
00:22:07,767 --> 00:22:09,267
Any minute now,
525
00:22:09,267 --> 00:22:11,767
they'll be pulling
into their driveway.
526
00:22:11,767 --> 00:22:12,968
[CRASH]
527
00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:18,801
You know, dear, they really
are wrecking our home.
528
00:22:18,801 --> 00:22:22,801
I know, but Peggy and Al
will be home any minute.
529
00:22:22,801 --> 00:22:25,801
I can't wait
to see their faces.
530
00:22:25,801 --> 00:22:28,400
Yep. Any minute.
531
00:22:30,567 --> 00:22:33,801
* I'm a fugitive
I only live *
532
00:22:33,801 --> 00:22:39,634
* To pummel *
533
00:22:39,634 --> 00:22:42,567
* I'm a fugitive
I only live *
534
00:22:42,567 --> 00:22:46,000
* To pummel **
535
00:22:51,868 --> 00:22:55,300
[***]
36415
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