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00:00:03,934 --> 00:00:08,400
Subtitles : RaceMan
www.forom.com
2
00:00:16,067 --> 00:00:18,467
* Love and marriage *
3
00:00:18,467 --> 00:00:20,934
* Love and marriage *
4
00:00:20,934 --> 00:00:22,734
* Go together like *
5
00:00:22,734 --> 00:00:25,200
* A horse and carriage *
6
00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:29,200
* This I tell ya, brother *
7
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,133
* You can't have one *
8
00:00:31,133 --> 00:00:34,033
* Without the other *
9
00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:36,334
* Love and marriage *
10
00:00:36,334 --> 00:00:38,934
* Love and marriage *
11
00:00:38,934 --> 00:00:40,334
* It's an institute *
12
00:00:40,334 --> 00:00:42,734
* You can't disparage *
13
00:00:42,734 --> 00:00:46,501
* Ask the local gentry *
14
00:00:46,501 --> 00:00:51,067
* And they will say
It's elementary *
15
00:00:51,067 --> 00:00:55,868
* Try, try, try
To separate them *
16
00:00:55,868 --> 00:00:59,567
* It's an illusion *
17
00:00:59,567 --> 00:01:04,701
* Try, try, try
And you will only come *
18
00:01:04,701 --> 00:01:08,133
* To this conclusion *
19
00:01:08,133 --> 00:01:10,234
* Love and marriage **
20
00:01:18,968 --> 00:01:22,467
Oh, God, the world
is ugly in the morning.
21
00:01:22,467 --> 00:01:23,968
Oh, Al.
It's our anniversary
22
00:01:23,968 --> 00:01:26,501
and the kids wanted
to fix us breakfast.
23
00:01:26,501 --> 00:01:28,000
Yeah, they're
great kids.
24
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,000
By the way,
happy anniversary.
25
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,000
Did you brush
your teeth this morning?
26
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,501
No. You?
27
00:01:34,501 --> 00:01:36,400
No.
28
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,701
Happy anniversary, honey.
29
00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:41,267
I could eat a horse.
30
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:42,767
Me too.
I'm hungry.
31
00:01:42,767 --> 00:01:44,767
I don't smell
anything cooking.
32
00:01:44,767 --> 00:01:46,767
I don't see
anything cooking.
33
00:01:46,767 --> 00:01:48,868
I'm gonna go out
on a limb here--
34
00:01:48,868 --> 00:01:50,701
Nothing's cooking.
35
00:01:50,701 --> 00:01:53,300
I bet they made
something ahead of time
36
00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:55,100
and they're hiding.
37
00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:57,467
[LOUDLY]
Ready to surprise us.
38
00:01:57,467 --> 00:01:58,801
Oh.
39
00:01:58,801 --> 00:02:00,968
I'm starving.
What's for breakfast?
40
00:02:00,968 --> 00:02:02,467
Kids!
It's our anniversary.
41
00:02:02,467 --> 00:02:04,901
I thought you wanted
to get up early
42
00:02:04,901 --> 00:02:06,000
and fix us breakfast?
43
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,267
Oh, no.
Was that today?
44
00:02:08,267 --> 00:02:09,701
Uh-huh.
45
00:02:09,701 --> 00:02:11,400
I'm sorry.
46
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,400
Happy anniversary.
47
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,267
What's
for breakfast?
48
00:02:15,267 --> 00:02:18,267
I'll fix us something.
What would you like?
49
00:02:18,267 --> 00:02:21,267
I'd like some
fried eggs over easy,
50
00:02:21,267 --> 00:02:24,267
I'd like couple of pieces
of crisp bacon,
51
00:02:24,267 --> 00:02:26,767
I'd like a glass
of fresh juice, squeezed,
52
00:02:26,767 --> 00:02:30,267
and I'd like a couple of pieces
of toast with jam.
53
00:02:30,267 --> 00:02:31,667
Where's the Tang?
54
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:37,734
You are so immature.
55
00:02:40,667 --> 00:02:42,667
Bud, stop playing
with your clothes.
56
00:02:44,467 --> 00:02:46,534
Well anyway,
happy anniversary, dear.
57
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:49,100
Can you believe
it's been 16 years?
58
00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:51,467
Yeah, they just
flew by.
59
00:02:51,467 --> 00:02:54,801
Let's see,
now which one is the 16th?
60
00:02:54,801 --> 00:02:58,133
I know the 10th is tin.
61
00:02:58,133 --> 00:02:59,801
The 15th is crystal.
62
00:02:59,801 --> 00:03:01,467
What's the next one?
63
00:03:01,467 --> 00:03:02,634
Brimstone.
64
00:03:03,968 --> 00:03:06,501
Gonna get me
a tie again?
65
00:03:06,501 --> 00:03:07,734
Yeah.
66
00:03:07,734 --> 00:03:09,100
Getting me shoes?
67
00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:10,234
Yeah.
68
00:03:10,234 --> 00:03:11,567
From your store?
69
00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:12,901
Yup.
70
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:16,033
Why don't we just forget
about presents this year?
71
00:03:16,033 --> 00:03:17,400
Fine with me.
72
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:20,033
I mean, after all, anniversaries
are about being together.
73
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,267
Yeah, you're right.
74
00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:22,767
I'll come home tonight.
How's that?
75
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,801
Yeah, I'll be here,
you'll be here,
76
00:03:26,801 --> 00:03:28,200
the TV will be here.
77
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,901
Let's not make a big deal
about it this year, all right?
78
00:03:30,901 --> 00:03:32,968
Yeah. We don't need
a bunch of silly presents
79
00:03:32,968 --> 00:03:35,467
to show we love
each other.
80
00:03:35,467 --> 00:03:37,434
I know that I love you.
81
00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:38,934
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
82
00:03:38,934 --> 00:03:40,434
I said that I love you.
83
00:03:40,434 --> 00:03:43,334
I said yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got to get ready for work.
84
00:03:43,334 --> 00:03:45,868
Listen, Al, since you're not
gonna get me a present,
85
00:03:45,868 --> 00:03:47,534
do you think you could
take my car
86
00:03:47,534 --> 00:03:48,868
and have a radio installed?
87
00:03:48,868 --> 00:03:50,534
Peg, I don't have the time.
88
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,868
Yeah, but I'm out all day long,
you know, running errands.
89
00:03:52,868 --> 00:03:54,667
What am I supposed
to listen to?
90
00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:56,167
Your own
beautiful voice.
91
00:03:56,167 --> 00:03:59,033
If God didn't want
other people to hear it,
92
00:03:59,033 --> 00:04:00,968
he wouldn't
have made it so shrill.
93
00:04:00,968 --> 00:04:02,901
I'm going
to take a shower.
94
00:04:02,901 --> 00:04:04,501
Yeah, I gotta do the laundry.
95
00:04:04,501 --> 00:04:06,734
When you do the laundry,
you use all the hot water.
96
00:04:06,734 --> 00:04:09,601
If God had wanted you
to have hot water,
97
00:04:09,601 --> 00:04:12,534
he wouldn't have
given me laundry.
98
00:04:12,534 --> 00:04:17,000
Dad, are you really not
gonna get Mom a present?
99
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:21,434
Whoo, bad move.
No matter what she says,
100
00:04:21,434 --> 00:04:22,834
if you don't
get her a present,
101
00:04:22,834 --> 00:04:24,400
you're gonna break her heart.
102
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,234
Yeah. Then she'll
take it out on us.
103
00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:30,501
Dad, even Meg's father got
her mom an anniversary present,
104
00:04:30,501 --> 00:04:32,367
and he shot at her.
105
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,000
This is a secret.
And I mean a secret.
106
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,501
I am getting
your mom a present--
107
00:04:39,501 --> 00:04:41,501
One of those
expensive watches
108
00:04:41,501 --> 00:04:43,934
she's always
harping about.
109
00:04:43,934 --> 00:04:46,968
Oh, Dad, that's great. She'll
love it, you're the greatest.
110
00:04:46,968 --> 00:04:48,968
Yeah, but listen, don't say
a word to your mother.
111
00:04:48,968 --> 00:04:50,767
Because I want this to be
a surprise, understand?
112
00:04:50,767 --> 00:04:51,968
Not a word.
113
00:04:51,968 --> 00:04:53,934
Right, Dad.
114
00:04:57,667 --> 00:04:59,467
Oh, Mom, guess what?
115
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:01,033
Dad's getting
you a great watch.
116
00:05:01,033 --> 00:05:05,934
That is supposed
to be a surprise, butthead.
117
00:05:05,934 --> 00:05:07,367
It's one of those
expensive ones
118
00:05:07,367 --> 00:05:08,367
that you're always
harping about.
119
00:05:08,367 --> 00:05:10,067
Ohh...
120
00:05:10,067 --> 00:05:12,868
What a sweet man.
121
00:05:14,234 --> 00:05:18,267
Yeah, that sweet man
would get me a great gift,
122
00:05:18,267 --> 00:05:20,834
and I'll be sitting there like
a jerk with nothing for him.
123
00:05:20,834 --> 00:05:24,267
Well, I'm gonna go out
and get him something.
124
00:05:24,267 --> 00:05:26,634
What is it
he's really wanting?
125
00:05:26,634 --> 00:05:28,801
That blond
down the street.
126
00:05:30,834 --> 00:05:32,634
Did he tell you that?
127
00:05:32,634 --> 00:05:34,033
No, I just
assumed it
128
00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:35,434
by the way
he bites his fist
129
00:05:35,434 --> 00:05:38,834
whenever he
drives by her house.
130
00:05:38,834 --> 00:05:40,567
He's just kidding
when he does that.
131
00:05:40,567 --> 00:05:43,133
Excuse me. One second.
132
00:05:45,934 --> 00:05:47,534
AL:
Aah!
133
00:05:50,367 --> 00:05:52,000
Oh, I'm just kidding
when I do that.
134
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,801
You kids go ahead
and get ready for school.
135
00:05:55,767 --> 00:05:57,100
AL:
Aah!
136
00:05:57,100 --> 00:05:58,234
[DOORBELL RINGS]
137
00:05:58,234 --> 00:06:01,601
Sorry, Al.
I had a huge load of laundry.
138
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:09,033
Happy anniversary!
Happy anniversary!
139
00:06:09,033 --> 00:06:11,167
Ohh, how thoughtful!
140
00:06:11,167 --> 00:06:14,400
Look, we even put your name
on the label.
141
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:15,767
Oh, that's too bad.
142
00:06:15,767 --> 00:06:18,000
It would have been nice gift
for us to give somebody,
143
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,567
but thanks anyway.
144
00:06:21,567 --> 00:06:23,067
So...
145
00:06:23,067 --> 00:06:25,267
I guess you guys have
a big evening planned, huh?
146
00:06:25,267 --> 00:06:26,767
Oh, pretty much.
147
00:06:26,767 --> 00:06:29,100
I'll fix dinner.
We'll exchange presents.
148
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:30,968
Then he'll watch
midget wrestling.
149
00:06:30,968 --> 00:06:33,000
Ooh. What time
does it come on?
150
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,601
Steve! We hate wrestling.
151
00:06:35,601 --> 00:06:38,534
I know. I just
want to know
152
00:06:38,534 --> 00:06:42,167
how late midgets
got to stay up.
153
00:06:42,167 --> 00:06:43,167
Now, Peggy...
154
00:06:43,167 --> 00:06:46,067
This is a special
night for you.
155
00:06:46,067 --> 00:06:47,868
And you shouldn't
spend it cooking.
156
00:06:47,868 --> 00:06:50,367
Listen. I know
a great caterer.
157
00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:52,167
Let them do the work.
158
00:06:52,167 --> 00:06:53,367
A caterer?
159
00:06:53,367 --> 00:06:56,334
Yeah. We use them
for all our anniversaries.
160
00:06:56,334 --> 00:06:58,467
The first day we met.
161
00:06:58,467 --> 00:06:59,868
First day we kissed.
162
00:06:59,868 --> 00:07:02,467
The first day
we went out.
163
00:07:02,467 --> 00:07:04,734
The first day
we stayed in.
164
00:07:04,734 --> 00:07:06,767
The first day
you brought me flowers.
165
00:07:06,767 --> 00:07:08,367
The first day you
talked dirty to me.
166
00:07:08,367 --> 00:07:09,367
I love you, Steve.
167
00:07:09,367 --> 00:07:10,901
I love you too,
Marcie.
168
00:07:16,901 --> 00:07:18,267
Do they make veal?
169
00:07:20,734 --> 00:07:21,868
Here we are, sir.
170
00:07:21,868 --> 00:07:23,567
Oh, I think my wife
would like that.
171
00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:25,767
I think she will too,
it's a very nice frame and--
172
00:07:25,767 --> 00:07:28,734
I'm Al Bundy. I called
about that expensive watch.
173
00:07:28,734 --> 00:07:30,734
Ah, yes.
174
00:07:30,734 --> 00:07:32,267
Here you are, sir.
175
00:07:32,267 --> 00:07:33,767
It's my last one.
176
00:07:33,767 --> 00:07:35,767
Well, wrap it up, and...
177
00:07:35,767 --> 00:07:37,634
Leave the price tag on.
178
00:07:39,100 --> 00:07:40,601
Well, yes, sir.
179
00:07:40,601 --> 00:07:43,133
Will that be
cash or charge?
180
00:07:43,133 --> 00:07:44,934
Charge, and, uh...
181
00:07:44,934 --> 00:07:47,133
Don't get cute
with my carbons.
182
00:07:49,501 --> 00:07:52,367
Wait a second.
I was here first.
183
00:07:52,367 --> 00:07:54,234
Yeah. So were
the Indians.
184
00:07:55,534 --> 00:07:57,033
See, I'm in sales myself.
185
00:07:57,033 --> 00:07:59,033
I know how
these guys think.
186
00:07:59,033 --> 00:08:01,868
They see me,
they see a big commission.
187
00:08:01,868 --> 00:08:04,300
They see you,
they see me.
188
00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:06,467
Well, if you're in sales
you should know
189
00:08:06,467 --> 00:08:08,601
each customer counts
as much as the next.
190
00:08:08,601 --> 00:08:11,200
Yeah right, that's why he let
me butt right in front of you
191
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,534
like you were never born.
192
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,434
What's that?
193
00:08:14,434 --> 00:08:17,033
It's an anniversary
present for my wife.
194
00:08:17,033 --> 00:08:18,400
You gonna get that?
195
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:19,400
Yeah.
196
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:20,601
How many years
you been married?
197
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,734
One.
198
00:08:22,734 --> 00:08:24,734
Well, see, that explains it.
199
00:08:24,734 --> 00:08:27,133
See, you're obviously new
to the married game.
200
00:08:27,133 --> 00:08:28,467
Let me help you out.
201
00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:31,901
See, the first thing I learned
on my 16-year tour of duty
202
00:08:31,901 --> 00:08:35,234
was that women
live for presents.
203
00:08:35,234 --> 00:08:37,534
Now you take the most ornery
woman in the world.
204
00:08:37,534 --> 00:08:39,801
We'll call her...Peggy.
205
00:08:41,767 --> 00:08:43,968
You bring
a crappy present home,
206
00:08:43,968 --> 00:08:47,667
like, uh...
that picture frame,
207
00:08:47,667 --> 00:08:50,534
and your life
will be a living hell.
208
00:08:50,534 --> 00:08:52,567
Well, my wife
and I agreed
209
00:08:52,567 --> 00:08:55,434
we wouldn't spend too much
on our anniversary.
210
00:08:55,434 --> 00:08:58,400
We decided we'd save our money
for more important things.
211
00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:01,601
There is no more important thing
than your anniversary.
212
00:09:01,601 --> 00:09:04,400
See, an anniversary
is something special.
213
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,200
It's not like
other holidays
214
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,501
when other people
are celebrating too.
215
00:09:08,501 --> 00:09:10,701
It's just between
the two of you.
216
00:09:10,701 --> 00:09:13,801
See, it's a day
when you can show
217
00:09:13,801 --> 00:09:16,501
how you feel the rest
of the year,
218
00:09:16,501 --> 00:09:19,167
but you don't,
because you're a man.
219
00:09:20,968 --> 00:09:22,634
That's beautiful.
220
00:09:22,634 --> 00:09:24,267
To know me is to love me.
221
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:29,133
Here comes
how I feel right now.
222
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:31,133
Sir, your card's
been rejected.
223
00:09:31,133 --> 00:09:32,300
Why?
224
00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:35,033
I don't care. Next.
225
00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:36,534
Wait a second.
It's my anniversary.
226
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:37,968
Happy anniversary.
227
00:09:37,968 --> 00:09:39,033
Next.
228
00:09:39,033 --> 00:09:40,400
I'll take the watch.
229
00:09:45,801 --> 00:09:48,901
Wow, I wish I could make
stuff like that.
230
00:09:48,901 --> 00:09:51,968
Maybe you can.
Would like to be a chef?
231
00:09:51,968 --> 00:09:54,467
No, I'd rather
be a man.
232
00:10:05,033 --> 00:10:06,367
Don't touch my rosin.
233
00:10:06,367 --> 00:10:08,601
Don't ever touch my rosin.
234
00:10:08,601 --> 00:10:10,601
Sorry.
235
00:10:10,601 --> 00:10:12,534
Gee, you're kind of touchy.
236
00:10:12,534 --> 00:10:14,534
Kind of like a clown
at a birthday party.
237
00:10:14,534 --> 00:10:17,234
Yeah? You ever see
a clown do this?
238
00:10:17,234 --> 00:10:19,467
Ow!
239
00:10:19,467 --> 00:10:20,634
Bobo!
240
00:10:20,634 --> 00:10:22,667
Shut up. I'm not
doing that anymore.
241
00:10:28,434 --> 00:10:29,734
Peggy.
242
00:10:29,734 --> 00:10:32,200
What a beautiful dress.
243
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,767
Thanks. I bought it
this afternoon.
244
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,133
I didn't really like it,
245
00:10:36,133 --> 00:10:39,100
but I didn't feel like changing
back into what I had on.
246
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:41,701
We were just admiring
your wedding album.
247
00:10:41,701 --> 00:10:43,534
We videotaped
our wedding.
248
00:10:43,534 --> 00:10:45,934
Of course, Polaroids
are nice too.
249
00:10:45,934 --> 00:10:47,501
[CAR DOOR CLOSES]
250
00:10:47,501 --> 00:10:49,100
That's Daddy's car.
251
00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:51,667
Okay, that's my watch.
Everyone hide, quick.
252
00:10:51,667 --> 00:10:54,000
In there.
Go on, go on.
253
00:10:58,801 --> 00:11:01,334
Happy anniversary, honey!
254
00:11:01,334 --> 00:11:03,234
See what Steve
and Marcie sent us?
255
00:11:03,234 --> 00:11:05,033
Yeah, gee,
that's great.
256
00:11:06,634 --> 00:11:09,067
As long as I don't have
to put with them in person.
257
00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:11,367
Surprise!
Surprise!
258
00:11:11,367 --> 00:11:14,000
Happy anniversary!
259
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,734
Peg, I thought
we said no big deal.
260
00:11:15,734 --> 00:11:17,133
Oh, it's not big deal.
261
00:11:17,133 --> 00:11:19,634
It's just us and a few
of our closest friends.
262
00:11:26,534 --> 00:11:27,968
And a violinist.
263
00:11:27,968 --> 00:11:29,634
And a few others.
264
00:11:29,634 --> 00:11:30,801
Time for presents.
265
00:11:30,801 --> 00:11:33,133
Peg, I thought
we said no presents.
266
00:11:33,133 --> 00:11:35,200
Well, I know, but it's our
anniversary.
267
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:38,000
And I couldn't resist.
268
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,133
You didn't tell
your mom
269
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:40,968
I was gonna get
her a present, did you?
270
00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:42,868
It was Kelly, Dad.
271
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:44,634
I know she's your daughter,
272
00:11:44,634 --> 00:11:47,167
but I think she's got to go.
273
00:11:48,734 --> 00:11:52,267
Okay, Mom and Dad,
open mine first.
274
00:11:52,267 --> 00:11:54,567
You brought me
a present too?
275
00:11:54,567 --> 00:11:57,634
Sure, I wasn't gonna be the only
one here without a present.
276
00:12:04,033 --> 00:12:07,000
ALL:
Ooh.
277
00:12:09,634 --> 00:12:11,400
A picture frame.
278
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:12,834
Do you know
how much it cost?
279
00:12:12,834 --> 00:12:14,267
Yes, I do.
280
00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:17,834
The perfect
anniversary gift.
281
00:12:17,834 --> 00:12:19,767
Mine next.
282
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:25,267
Oh... A diary.
283
00:12:25,267 --> 00:12:28,868
Yeah. It's Kelly's.
284
00:12:30,334 --> 00:12:33,868
I heard you say you'd give
anything to take a look at it.
285
00:12:33,868 --> 00:12:35,701
You little wad!
286
00:12:35,701 --> 00:12:36,834
You thief!
287
00:12:36,834 --> 00:12:40,601
You little Nazi
fascist psychopath!
288
00:12:40,601 --> 00:12:42,200
Mom, can I have
that back please?
289
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,133
Of course, dear.
290
00:12:44,133 --> 00:12:45,601
They're your
private moments,
291
00:12:45,601 --> 00:12:47,501
and Bud had
no right to take it.
292
00:12:47,501 --> 00:12:51,834
It was a nice thought,
though, Bud.
293
00:12:51,834 --> 00:12:54,767
You open wound!
294
00:12:54,767 --> 00:12:57,167
Here, we got you two
295
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,801
one of our favorite books.
296
00:12:58,801 --> 00:13:02,100
My Partner,My Wife, My Life.
297
00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:06,400
My God.
298
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,200
Well, that's all
for the presents.
299
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,467
Thank you very much.
300
00:13:09,467 --> 00:13:10,834
Good night,
and drive safely.
301
00:13:10,834 --> 00:13:13,567
No! It's my turn.
302
00:13:13,567 --> 00:13:16,267
Peg, were you here this morning
when we said no presents?
303
00:13:16,267 --> 00:13:18,934
Oh, Al.
304
00:13:22,033 --> 00:13:23,300
Here!
305
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,067
Ohh.
306
00:13:34,834 --> 00:13:37,701
ALL:
Ooh!
307
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:43,501
The power tools
I've been wanting.
308
00:13:43,501 --> 00:13:45,801
Boy, it's going to be
tough to top this.
309
00:13:45,801 --> 00:13:47,534
So why try?
310
00:13:47,534 --> 00:13:49,667
Good night, everybody!
311
00:13:49,667 --> 00:13:51,501
We all know what
it's time for now.
312
00:13:51,501 --> 00:13:53,934
Yeah, come on, Dad.
Whip out that watch.
313
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:55,000
[DOORBELL RINGS]
314
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,801
Ah! The door!
315
00:13:58,634 --> 00:14:00,567
Luke, you're here.
316
00:14:00,567 --> 00:14:01,834
Look, everybody,
it's Luke,
317
00:14:01,834 --> 00:14:03,033
and he doesn't
have a present,
318
00:14:03,033 --> 00:14:05,934
but we're not going to hold
it against him, are we?
319
00:14:05,934 --> 00:14:08,934
I'd have to be a pretty big
piece of scum
320
00:14:08,934 --> 00:14:10,601
not to bring
a present.
321
00:14:12,133 --> 00:14:14,667
You didn't have
to bring a present.
322
00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:17,701
Yes, I did, Al.
Peg hates me.
323
00:14:19,968 --> 00:14:22,667
Thank you, Luke.
324
00:14:22,667 --> 00:14:26,100
Hey, Al, your daughter's
really blossomed.
325
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:32,400
Where's the eats?
326
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:33,567
Not now, Luke.
327
00:14:33,567 --> 00:14:35,901
We still have one more thing
we have to do.
328
00:14:35,901 --> 00:14:37,734
Yeah, Dad.
Get Mom's present.
329
00:14:37,734 --> 00:14:39,234
Right. Right.
330
00:14:39,234 --> 00:14:40,567
Uhh...
331
00:14:40,567 --> 00:14:42,234
It's out in the car.
I'll go get it.
332
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,834
[ENGINE STRUGGLING]
333
00:14:50,834 --> 00:14:56,200
[ENGINE STRUGGLING]
334
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:57,067
[CAR DOOR SLAMS]
335
00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:02,334
Happy anniversary!
336
00:15:05,534 --> 00:15:06,868
A can of motor oil.
337
00:15:06,868 --> 00:15:07,968
40-weight.
338
00:15:07,968 --> 00:15:09,100
And, uh...
339
00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:13,400
A road flare.
340
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,968
Bless our happy home.
341
00:15:22,234 --> 00:15:23,801
You didn't
get her anything, huh?
342
00:15:23,801 --> 00:15:26,234
I tried to get her
a watch, but...
343
00:15:26,234 --> 00:15:28,467
Who is this guy?
344
00:15:28,467 --> 00:15:31,501
That's Bobo.
345
00:15:33,501 --> 00:15:35,300
Peg, I tried
to get you the watch.
346
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:37,501
There was some kind of a mix-up
with the credit card.
347
00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:38,834
I'll fix it tomorrow.
348
00:15:38,834 --> 00:15:41,033
Tomorrow is not
our anniversary.
349
00:15:41,033 --> 00:15:42,534
You're taking this well.
350
00:15:42,534 --> 00:15:45,501
Well, gifts aren't really
important, are they?
351
00:15:45,501 --> 00:15:46,767
The important thing
352
00:15:46,767 --> 00:15:49,000
is that you've been
together all these years.
353
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,567
Isn't that what anniversaries
are all about?
354
00:15:51,567 --> 00:15:53,901
Steve, you would
never show up
355
00:15:53,901 --> 00:15:55,968
without a present
for our anniversary, would you?
356
00:15:55,968 --> 00:15:58,934
Of course not.
I care about you.
357
00:15:58,934 --> 00:16:02,300
CHEF:
Dinner is served!
358
00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:05,434
Maybe we ought
to be getting on home.
359
00:16:05,434 --> 00:16:07,801
Oh no, you don't.
I paid for this dinner,
360
00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:09,267
and I'm going
to enjoy it.
361
00:16:09,267 --> 00:16:10,167
Now sit down.
362
00:16:12,367 --> 00:16:13,767
Nice going, Dad.
363
00:16:13,767 --> 00:16:16,133
Yeah, Dad. Nice.
364
00:16:23,934 --> 00:16:25,667
You know, Peg,
I really tried--
365
00:16:25,667 --> 00:16:28,834
I don't want to hear
anymore about it.
366
00:16:28,834 --> 00:16:29,834
Caviar, anyone?
367
00:16:29,834 --> 00:16:32,567
Bud, Kelly, Steve?
368
00:16:32,567 --> 00:16:37,634
Marcie, Luke?
369
00:16:37,634 --> 00:16:39,968
You know, Peg I tried
to get you the watch.
370
00:16:39,968 --> 00:16:40,968
It's not my fault.
371
00:16:40,968 --> 00:16:42,234
It's never your fault.
372
00:16:42,234 --> 00:16:44,701
There's gotta be a reason.
I paid the bill.
373
00:16:44,701 --> 00:16:47,734
You were here, I sent the check
in a couple weeks ago.
374
00:16:47,734 --> 00:16:48,734
Give it up, Al.
375
00:16:48,734 --> 00:16:50,267
There's nothing wrong
with the card.
376
00:16:50,267 --> 00:16:54,934
I've used it to pay
for this dinner today...
377
00:16:54,934 --> 00:16:58,634
Including this caviar, which
you now have your elbow in.
378
00:16:58,634 --> 00:17:01,133
Well, there's gotta
be some reason.
379
00:17:01,133 --> 00:17:02,901
I've got one.
You're cheap.
380
00:17:02,901 --> 00:17:04,467
Yeah, but not today.
381
00:17:04,467 --> 00:17:07,467
I mean, didn't the guy give you
a hard time about the card?
382
00:17:07,467 --> 00:17:08,968
No, Al. Not at all.
383
00:17:08,968 --> 00:17:11,133
Me, neither,
Daddy.
384
00:17:11,133 --> 00:17:12,901
You paid with the
credit card too?
385
00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:17,300
Of course, I wasn't
going to spend my allowance.
386
00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:19,067
And Peg, sweetie,
387
00:17:19,067 --> 00:17:22,601
those power tools
that cost a pretty penny,
388
00:17:22,601 --> 00:17:25,567
was that pretty
penny plastic, Peg?
389
00:17:25,567 --> 00:17:26,801
Of course it was, Al.
390
00:17:26,801 --> 00:17:28,467
I see.
391
00:17:28,467 --> 00:17:33,367
So I guess the dinner
and the presents...
392
00:17:33,367 --> 00:17:39,434
Old Mr. Skinflint here kind of
paid for everything, didn't he?
393
00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:41,334
In fact, the only thing
I didn't pay for
394
00:17:41,334 --> 00:17:43,334
was my present to you,
and you wanna know why?
395
00:17:43,334 --> 00:17:46,634
Because maybe you stuffed
the credit card so much,
396
00:17:46,634 --> 00:17:50,067
that when I tried
to use it, it threw up.
397
00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:51,801
Blecch!
398
00:17:55,133 --> 00:17:56,434
No, no, no!
399
00:17:56,434 --> 00:17:59,534
Eat. Enjoy. Relax.
400
00:17:59,534 --> 00:18:01,033
I'd like
to thank everybody
401
00:18:01,033 --> 00:18:05,234
for their understanding
in my hour of need.
402
00:18:05,234 --> 00:18:07,434
I'm going
to take my tools,
403
00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:08,434
which I paid for,
404
00:18:08,434 --> 00:18:10,868
and celebrate
in the garage,
405
00:18:10,868 --> 00:18:12,467
which I'm
still paying for.
406
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:23,734
Would you pass
the veal?
407
00:18:23,734 --> 00:18:26,367
You know, Peggy,
408
00:18:26,367 --> 00:18:27,534
as a woman,
409
00:18:27,534 --> 00:18:29,701
I never thought I would say
this to another woman,
410
00:18:29,701 --> 00:18:31,934
but you're totally wrong.
411
00:18:31,934 --> 00:18:34,767
I know.
412
00:18:34,767 --> 00:18:35,901
Aren't you
going to apologize?
413
00:18:35,901 --> 00:18:38,467
Well sure,
but not right now.
414
00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:40,067
He won't be
expecting me yet.
415
00:18:40,067 --> 00:18:44,033
See, this is where he likes me
to stew in my own juices.
416
00:18:44,033 --> 00:18:46,634
Could you pass
the sauce?
417
00:18:46,634 --> 00:18:48,834
But you are going to tell him
you're sorry, aren't you?
418
00:18:48,834 --> 00:18:50,234
Ha! No.
419
00:18:50,234 --> 00:18:52,334
You know, that's
the really nice thing about Al.
420
00:18:52,334 --> 00:18:54,534
Whenever we have
a major argument,
421
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:56,300
he never makes
me apologize.
422
00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:57,901
He always always
cuts me off right before
423
00:18:57,901 --> 00:19:00,400
I have to say the S-word.
424
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,968
It's sort of a shorthand.
425
00:19:01,968 --> 00:19:03,400
It comes
with 16 years of marriage.
426
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:06,367
Aw, honey, I hope that we grow
so close that I never have
427
00:19:06,367 --> 00:19:07,801
to apologize to you.
428
00:19:07,801 --> 00:19:08,834
Steve, you're interrupting.
429
00:19:08,834 --> 00:19:10,467
I'm sorry.
430
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:22,734
And another thing,
where did you get that dress?
431
00:19:22,734 --> 00:19:25,300
I've had this
for years.
432
00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:29,501
You never notice
what I wear.
433
00:19:31,467 --> 00:19:32,934
What are you
doing out here?
434
00:19:32,934 --> 00:19:35,334
You know.
435
00:19:35,334 --> 00:19:36,567
Look,
I didn't realize
436
00:19:36,567 --> 00:19:38,534
that I put you
over your credit limit.
437
00:19:38,534 --> 00:19:40,133
That's just one
of those things that happen
438
00:19:40,133 --> 00:19:42,567
when you charge
too much.
439
00:19:42,567 --> 00:19:43,567
And?
440
00:19:43,567 --> 00:19:46,067
And after all,
it's your money.
441
00:19:46,067 --> 00:19:47,334
And?
442
00:19:47,334 --> 00:19:48,834
And I don't work.
443
00:19:48,834 --> 00:19:51,067
Feel free to cut me off here
anytime you like.
444
00:19:51,067 --> 00:19:52,067
Not this time,
445
00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:53,934
because I didn't
do anything.
446
00:19:53,934 --> 00:19:55,701
And I want to hear
you say it.
447
00:19:55,701 --> 00:19:56,934
What, Al?
448
00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:59,801
It.
449
00:19:59,801 --> 00:20:03,934
Come on, Al.
We both know I am.
450
00:20:03,934 --> 00:20:06,667
Am what, Peg?
451
00:20:06,667 --> 00:20:08,567
It.
452
00:20:08,567 --> 00:20:10,434
Very it.
453
00:20:12,734 --> 00:20:14,367
You're
really serious.
454
00:20:14,367 --> 00:20:15,801
Yep.
455
00:20:15,801 --> 00:20:18,501
You see, I thought I finally
saved up enough money
456
00:20:18,501 --> 00:20:21,200
to get you a nice present
that you deserve.
457
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,534
I felt bad walking
in the house without it,
458
00:20:24,534 --> 00:20:28,501
but it was worse thinking
you didn't think I tried.
459
00:20:31,067 --> 00:20:32,767
Yeah. You're right.
460
00:20:32,767 --> 00:20:33,968
You always
do try to do
461
00:20:33,968 --> 00:20:36,234
something nice
for our anniversary.
462
00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:37,767
Mm-hmm.
463
00:20:37,767 --> 00:20:40,801
And even if you hadn't tried
to buy me that watch,
464
00:20:40,801 --> 00:20:42,968
if the 16 years
we've been together
465
00:20:42,968 --> 00:20:44,667
isn't enough to say
"I love you,"
466
00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:48,200
well, what good would
a stupid watch do?
467
00:20:49,868 --> 00:20:51,667
Oh, Al.
468
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:52,701
I really--
469
00:20:52,701 --> 00:20:56,701
We're supposed
to get some rain.
470
00:20:59,868 --> 00:21:01,300
Would you like me
to make soup
471
00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:03,067
for your lunch
tomorrow?
472
00:21:03,067 --> 00:21:04,067
Naw, that's okay.
473
00:21:04,067 --> 00:21:06,834
Last time I cut
my hand on the can.
474
00:21:11,234 --> 00:21:13,667
You know, I really did, feel bad
about not getting your present.
475
00:21:13,667 --> 00:21:16,434
So, I thought of a present
I could get you
476
00:21:16,434 --> 00:21:18,467
that you didn't have
to put on a credit card.
477
00:21:18,467 --> 00:21:21,601
No, not that.
478
00:21:21,601 --> 00:21:24,534
No, because after all,
I wasn't wrong in this.
479
00:21:29,968 --> 00:21:32,968
Anyway, there it is.
480
00:21:32,968 --> 00:21:37,200
Oh, gee, you tore up
my dashboard. Thanks.
481
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,467
Yeah, but look where
the dashboard used to be.
482
00:21:39,467 --> 00:21:41,968
Oh, a radio!
483
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:44,901
Yeah, I took it out of my car
and put it in yours.
484
00:21:44,901 --> 00:21:46,968
Happy anniversary.
485
00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:50,400
That's so sweet.
486
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:54,701
I fixed the bass control so
it doesn't vibrate your tush.
487
00:21:54,701 --> 00:21:58,968
Actually,
I kind of like that.
488
00:21:58,968 --> 00:22:04,634
Oh, Al, I can't tell you
how much this means to me.
489
00:22:04,634 --> 00:22:06,400
What's that thing
on the front seat?
490
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,734
Oh, that's your
air conditioner.
491
00:22:11,067 --> 00:22:14,901
Hey, listen, you know,
we haven't been alone all day.
492
00:22:14,901 --> 00:22:18,000
Want to sit out here and listen
to the oldies station?
493
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,701
Yeah, sure.
494
00:22:21,033 --> 00:22:24,300
* Aha, aha War! Hooh! *
495
00:22:24,300 --> 00:22:25,601
Our song!
Our song!
496
00:22:25,601 --> 00:22:27,801
* What is it good for? *
497
00:22:27,801 --> 00:22:29,334
*AbsolutelyNothing *
498
00:22:29,334 --> 00:22:30,934
* Say it again, y'all *
499
00:22:30,934 --> 00:22:33,300
* War! Hooh!Look out *
500
00:22:33,300 --> 00:22:36,067
* What is it good for? *
501
00:22:36,067 --> 00:22:38,801
* Absolutely nothingListen to me *
502
00:22:38,801 --> 00:22:43,300
* Ahh War! I despise *
503
00:22:43,300 --> 00:22:46,067
* 'Cause it meansDestruction **
504
00:22:48,567 --> 00:22:50,501
[***]
34753
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