Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
3
00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:48,673
Right?
4
00:00:48,673 --> 00:00:49,507
OK. Settle down.
5
00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:51,551
Britney, it's your turn.
6
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:52,761
Truth or dare?
7
00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:53,887
Truth.
8
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:56,264
Who would you rather fuck?
9
00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:57,432
David Beckham...
10
00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:59,392
Tom Brady
11
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:00,268
Or Chris Long?
12
00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:02,312
Duh, Chris Long.
13
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,732
And look at this crowd, Dick.
14
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,650
The feeling here is electric.
15
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:10,695
All in anticipation for this epic
showdown between
16
00:01:10,695 --> 00:01:13,782
L.A. Tech and Rock Fall's Pioneers.
17
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:17,744
But the big story here is the heroic
play of senior phenom Chris Long.
18
00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:19,871
He has literally
put this team on his back
19
00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:21,873
and carried them
into their first Final Four.
20
00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:24,876
Appearance in 23 years.
How about that?
21
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,545
Would you listen to this crowd, Bob.
22
00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:29,672
They love this kid.
23
00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:34,052
Long steals
the inbound pass, penetrates
24
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:36,012
the middle, spins passed Hayes
dropping into the paint and...
25
00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:39,516
OK. Kim is a fucking cunt.
26
00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:42,435
That's right, Dick,
Chris Long has had four.
27
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:43,269
Count em'.
28
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:45,271
Four consecutive triple doubles.
29
00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:47,398
He shows no sign of stopping.
30
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,609
Chris, deserves so much better than Kim.
31
00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:50,735
I mean, like, what?
32
00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:52,403
OK, truth or dare?
33
00:01:52,403 --> 00:01:55,281
He will easily go
top five in the draft this year.
34
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:56,741
How about the top pick?
35
00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:58,451
How do you spell MVP?
36
00:01:58,451 --> 00:01:59,911
Chris Long.
37
00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,162
Watch out, NBA.
38
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,872
Here comes Long.
39
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,707
I dare you...
40
00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:06,501
To make out with Stacy.
41
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,671
That's not fair, you guys.
42
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:11,589
Just pretend she's Chris.
43
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:12,465
Chris!
44
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:13,091
Chris!
45
00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:13,716
Chris!
46
00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:14,384
Chris!
47
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:15,051
Chris!
48
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:15,677
Chris!
49
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:16,302
Chris!
50
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:16,970
Chris!
51
00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:17,554
Chris!
52
00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:18,054
Chris!
53
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:19,013
Chris!
54
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:19,597
Chris!
55
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:20,265
Chris!
56
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:20,849
Chris!
57
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:21,266
Chris! Chris! Chris! Chris!
58
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:22,851
Oh my God! Can you believe this?!?
59
00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:27,105
Ew, what are you sluts doing?
60
00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:29,023
What do you want, Javi?
61
00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:31,276
Shhh, turn off the music...
62
00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:34,028
Ohhh, it's Chris!
63
00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:37,282
Oh, no Dick, it looks like
it's his knee this could be serious.
64
00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:39,701
Ohhh, this hurts just to look at.
65
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:55,967
I've been having nightmares
66
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:58,761
like that since my accident,
but I'm no Debbie Downer.
67
00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:00,638
I got right back to work.
68
00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:02,932
Seven thousand and eight,
seven thousand and nine.
69
00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:04,767
Easy, Chris,
don't put too much pressure on it.
70
00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:05,810
Can we be positive?
71
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:08,104
Will Smith, in
the Pursuit Of Happyness was positive.
72
00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:10,607
He got the job at the end.
I'm going to the NBA.
73
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:11,774
I got 50 more.
74
00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:16,571
And, yes, I had a Mohawk.
75
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:17,906
I'm not proud of it.
76
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:20,033
And speaking
of the pursuit of happiness,
77
00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:23,411
no matter what happens,
I have Kim by my side.
78
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:26,331
This is a painting
I did of us in my cartooning class.
79
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:30,126
I think next I want to learn animation.
Oh, and oil paints.
80
00:03:31,085 --> 00:03:32,837
Kim says I should write out my name.
81
00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:34,964
But I kind of like it
when it's just the C and the L.
82
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,926
To be honest, I kind of love art even
83
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,345
more than basketball.
84
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,515
But as Kim always says,
85
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:47,227
you can't make money with art.
86
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,565
Happy anniversary.
87
00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:00,490
If you looked up
88
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:03,201
Bozo in the dictionary,
you might see this image.
89
00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:05,286
God, I hate that Mohawk.
90
00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:08,206
What's with the suitcase?
91
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:10,250
Don't be so emotional, Chris.
92
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,376
Was I being emotional?
93
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:12,961
I don't think I was being emotional.
94
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:15,338
I think there was normal emotion.
95
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,965
I don't have time for this.
96
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,175
Daddy's
waiting everything's in the note.
97
00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:20,760
What? Whoa, whoa, slow down.
98
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:22,595
Kim. Kimmy.
99
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:25,848
What a-- Where are you going?
100
00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:28,351
And this is when Kim told me
how she really felt.
101
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:31,688
You're an art major.
102
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,816
I know.
103
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:41,197
I thought you loved my paintings.
104
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,366
Kim not you, too.
105
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:47,328
Kim, you can't listen to what coaches
and doctors and physical therapists
106
00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:48,997
and everyone else at this school says.
107
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:50,748
I'm getting drafted.
108
00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:51,958
You're delusional.
109
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:53,876
Wake up.
110
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,337
Kim. Kim.
111
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:00,341
Kim.
112
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,552
Man, that mohawk looks stupid.
113
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:05,305
People will tell you to follow
your dreams
114
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,889
until you fall short.
115
00:05:07,765 --> 00:05:11,144
Then they'll call you delusional.
116
00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:26,451
But sometimes when you hit rock
bottom, certain people
117
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:29,746
come into your life that you would
least expect and change it
118
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:30,997
forever.
119
00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:54,854
The year was 2012.
120
00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:58,066
The year in which
I was supposed to be competing for NBA
121
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,275
Rookie of the Year.
122
00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:04,364
But instead, I was working at a small,
sweaty gym making minimum wage
123
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:08,201
And for the record, I did graduate.
124
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:09,535
And that's when it hit me.
125
00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:12,080
What the hell
am I going to do for a living?
126
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,290
I was offered a lot of jobs
in the sports world.
127
00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:16,751
But to be honest,
I just haven't wanted to face it.
128
00:06:18,961 --> 00:06:20,380
Sweat hard. A gym.
129
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,422
You shouldn't work out at.
130
00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:24,550
Sweat Hard, a gym
where no one sweats hard.
131
00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:27,762
Located deep in the valley, away
132
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:30,973
from the glitz
and glamor of Hollywood.
133
00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:33,309
People keep telling me I need therapy.
134
00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,436
Especially my coworker Missy.
135
00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:38,106
Missy tells me
I need therapy every day.
136
00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:42,068
Todd, the gym owner's son,
137
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:45,696
the "manager" of this place,
was in pottery class with me.
138
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:48,116
Guy couldn't
make a vase to save his life.
139
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:49,325
But he offered me a job here.
140
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,916
In addition to working in this gym,
my full time
141
00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:59,043
job is trying to not be bitter.
142
00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:24,610
Don't be so emotional, Chris.
143
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,571
Emotional Chris.
144
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:28,239
You're an art major.
145
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:29,991
Art major.
146
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,826
You're delusional.
147
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:32,702
Wake up.
148
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:35,288
You're delusional.
149
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,874
Wake up.
150
00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:43,463
Excuse me.
151
00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:46,382
There are so many membership packages.
152
00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:50,052
I'm like,
totally not sure what I want.
153
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,554
Oh, my God.
154
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:53,931
You look so familiar.
155
00:07:53,931 --> 00:07:55,933
Do we know each other?
156
00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:58,436
Oh, my God.
157
00:07:58,436 --> 00:07:59,896
No, wait!
158
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,773
You played for LA Tech, didn't you?
159
00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:04,233
O.M.G.
160
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:07,320
You're that basketball guy, right?
161
00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:09,530
Can I help you ladies?
162
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:12,366
Um, you work here now?
163
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:19,040
I like, totally do.
164
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:20,374
Oh, my God. Right.
165
00:08:20,374 --> 00:08:23,503
Like, isn't that, like,
totally, like, crazy?
166
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:27,507
Are you mocking us?
167
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:28,758
Yeah.
168
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,678
Do you want a membership or what?
169
00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:35,139
Thank you. Come again.
170
00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:36,849
No, no, no-- Excuse me? Young ladies.
Excuse me.
171
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:37,475
Hi. I'm Missy. Hi, ladies,
excuse me, hi, nice to meet you--
172
00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:42,939
Holy beJesus, Chris?
173
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:45,191
You really--
You really gave it to him, huh?
174
00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:47,902
Bitches. Right?
175
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:50,196
Are you gonna let him speak
to our customers like that?
176
00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:52,949
What? They didn't--
They didn't buy anything.
177
00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:55,660
Did they buy-- They didn't buy
anything, did they? OK.
178
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:04,544
OK. So I might not have
the best customer service,
179
00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:06,462
but can you blame me?
180
00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:10,758
This scantily dressed
human is another co-worker of mine.
181
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:11,717
Sup, dick spit.
182
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:12,885
Bobby.
183
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,178
See the numbers on my YouTube video?
184
00:09:14,178 --> 00:09:16,472
I'm up to a 104 views.
185
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:19,100
Bout to make that sneezing panda my bitch.
186
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,851
Bro, you're getting the floor
all wet.
187
00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:22,478
You're getting the kitchen all ugly.
188
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:23,688
Hey, Chris.
189
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:24,939
Don't you dare talk to her.
190
00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:27,358
I'm not even talking to you.
191
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:28,985
You getting smart with me?
192
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,486
Huh, you tall fuck.
193
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,446
I'm an orange belt. I will ruin you.
194
00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:33,281
Are we done?
195
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,283
I'm never done, Chris.
I got twenty more laps.
196
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,659
And an hour more worth of legs.
197
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:39,078
And I'm not going to stop
till I feel like I'm back in college
198
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,330
and there's
a fucking party in the quad.
199
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,920
God, I love Mondays!
200
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:48,921
That's Gizell.
201
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:51,882
I'm pretty sure she hooks up
with everyone.
202
00:09:51,882 --> 00:09:54,218
Kind of want a popsicle now, too.
203
00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:02,893
What you're looking at
are the gym's pipes,
204
00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:05,563
flooding our neighbor, Ivana's salon
205
00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:09,191
with sewage.
206
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:12,945
Meanwhile, at our morning meeting,
our staff gets along swimmingly.
207
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:13,571
No one is hiring.
208
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:15,531
And I know
because I've tried to find extra work.
209
00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:17,950
Okay. Calm down.
We're not going to have to close down.
210
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,035
I don't think.
211
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:23,456
You stinky pigs do realize you have
a business unattended outside?
212
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,915
Anybody care?
213
00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:26,375
Okay--
214
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:29,295
This is Ivana.
215
00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:31,255
She definitely abuses Adderall.
216
00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:34,842
And your gross sewage pipes
are leaking stank into my salon.
217
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:37,887
It's no wonder the pipes are leaking.
218
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:39,347
I told you the week before that.
219
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:42,516
Everything in this gym is
broken, including the staff.
220
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:47,063
Yes. Oh, this is cute.
221
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:48,564
Oh, really? This is mature guys.
222
00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:51,275
What is this? West Side Story?
Did you rehearse this? Very good.
223
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,068
All right.
224
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:56,072
If you put this much effort into your gym
maybe it wouldn't suck so fucking bad.
225
00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:58,282
Smell that, it's much better.
226
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:01,869
I think her hair is pretty.
227
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:07,500
Honestly, I'm at my breaking point.
228
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,710
Asking myself every day.
229
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:13,005
Do I believe in second chances?
230
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:16,717
And yes,
I also have a sweating problem.
231
00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:20,012
Doctors say it's tied to my anxiety,
232
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:23,766
but I definitely don't need therapy.
233
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:29,730
Hello, Chris,
234
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,942
you look a little bit down.
235
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,861
Maybe I can cheer
you up a little bit of a tap dance.
236
00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:38,906
This is Dre.
237
00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:40,783
Missy's husband.
238
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:43,703
Can bench press the building.
239
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:53,587
What are you doing?
240
00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:59,635
I have an audition
as a British tap dancer.
241
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:03,013
How'd I do?
242
00:12:03,013 --> 00:12:05,266
And yet he's the one in the healthy
relationship.
243
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:08,561
Paycheck time, huh?
244
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:12,398
What are you guys talking about?
245
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:13,441
Sports?
246
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:16,485
You know,
247
00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:20,072
I've been hit with a few dodge balls
back in my time, ya know?
248
00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:22,575
We should get a hoop out back, huh?
249
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,535
Play a little B-ball.
250
00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:26,704
I don't play basketball anymore, Todd.
251
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:27,747
What?
252
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,499
This guy. What?
253
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:32,793
Are you kidding? Why not?
254
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:35,337
You were the best man
I used to hear about you all the time.
255
00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:37,548
Chris Long scores thirty!
256
00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:39,049
Chris Long's unstoppable!
257
00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:41,135
My Dad thought you were the greatest.
258
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,682
He got real excited when I told him
we were on the same team now.
259
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:48,642
Let's imagine
260
00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:53,230
that this ticket right here
represents all of my hopes and dreams.
261
00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:56,984
Or better yet, my ACL, Okay?
262
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,363
Whoops!
263
00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:02,782
There go those.
264
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,784
Hope you didn't need them, Chris.
265
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,786
This is not my life.
266
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,455
This is someone else's life.
267
00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:12,625
Pardon me.
268
00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:19,423
Jack Guy.
269
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,801
And that was the moment
270
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:25,095
I met the one and only Jack Guy.
271
00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,765
He immediately put us all on edge.
272
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,767
But not to be a total hater.
273
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:32,394
His cologne was kind of amazing.
274
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:33,312
Jack Guy?
275
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:36,190
Is that even a real name?
276
00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:37,316
Don't be jealous of his awesome name.
277
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:39,985
Todd said not
all of us are gonna get fired.
278
00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:41,654
As in some of us are getting fired?
279
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,406
Big changes are coming, Todd,
it's gonna be awesome.
280
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,867
Oh, can you change the lock
on that door for me?
281
00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:49,078
I'm headed to Starbucks for a green
tea latte I'll be back in twenty-ish.
282
00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:51,372
Schmidty!
283
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:53,415
What the hell's going on, bro?
284
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:54,583
Let's hit that club tonight, yeah!
285
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:02,216
Todd.
286
00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:05,678
What's up?
287
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,513
You tell us, motherfucker.
288
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,974
We have a new owner.
What about your dad?
289
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,518
He said he was tired of
290
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,478
losing money on a business
just to keep me employed,
291
00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:16,814
and he wishes he would've
strapped up 30 years ago.
292
00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:19,984
I suck.
293
00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:20,234
Do you know
294
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:23,612
he currently holds the title World's
First Ever Male Supermodel.
295
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:24,947
I held that title once.
296
00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:26,949
This is Buzz.
297
00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:28,701
He's like an unofficial employee.
298
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,369
He's here all day, every day.
299
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:31,912
Guy's like 91.
300
00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:33,122
That's a title?
301
00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:36,166
Well then if he's so successful,
what the fuck is he doing here?
302
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,261
He's dated Kate Beckinsale,
303
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:50,556
Cameron Diaz, and he's currently
married to Adriana Lima.
304
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:54,184
The Victoria's Secret supermodel?
305
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,895
She asked me to marry her, once.
306
00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:01,984
I bet ya even
his dick has a six pack.
307
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,652
Not anymore.
308
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:04,737
I bet you $10.
309
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,864
He has a couch made of nothing
but chinchilla fur
310
00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:09,575
and he gets out of the pool wet,
and he sits on it.
311
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:12,328
Just because he doesn't give a fuck.
312
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:20,419
Oh and he was an all Ivy League
quarterback for Yale.
313
00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:24,423
Record breaker, senior year, 28
touchdowns in 1 game.
314
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,301
Sounds like my resume.
315
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,887
How do you know all this?
316
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,389
I Google, Facebook, MySpace,
Wikipedia, and Twittered him.
317
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:33,641
Plus, he told me.
318
00:15:35,142 --> 00:15:36,810
Holy Sherlock.
319
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:38,479
Check her out, Holmes.
320
00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:43,359
And this was someone
321
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,778
who is not usually around here.
322
00:15:47,821 --> 00:15:48,614
Whoa.
323
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:51,533
She looked like an angel.
324
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:52,701
Who was she?
325
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:54,203
Where did she come from?
326
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:55,871
Maybe she's looking for a trainer?
327
00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:57,456
Maybe I could be that trainer?
328
00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:59,249
Maybe we could train together?
329
00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:02,503
Maybe this is the beginning
of something spec--
330
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:05,839
Of course.
331
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,885
Mr. Guy's got some moves.
332
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:12,513
Bet I can tell you
exactly what he's saying.
333
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:13,597
Hi, I'm Jack.
334
00:16:13,597 --> 00:16:14,264
Jack Guy.
335
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,976
I'm a supermodel,
and I throw footballs incredibly far.
336
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:17,601
I'm married,
337
00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:19,061
but I'd still like to bend you
over the hood
338
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:21,605
of my incredibly expensive midlife
crisis sports car.
339
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,984
Oh, my God. Your name is Jack Guy.
340
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,610
That is so cool.
341
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,737
And your wallet is so big.
342
00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:32,241
If you treat me like shit,
I promise I will love you forever.
343
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:36,286
Missy's right, dude.
344
00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:38,163
You need therapy.
345
00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:41,166
Bro, you wear a Speedo.
346
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:43,127
Did you guys hear the good news?
347
00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:46,005
We're gonna be on TV.
348
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:48,674
I'm gonna be famous!
349
00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:52,094
Yes. I've been training for this
my whole life.
350
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:56,140
It'll be just like the iconic hit TV
show The Office.
351
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,476
But unscripted and set in a gym.
352
00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:00,602
It'll be great!
353
00:17:00,602 --> 00:17:02,813
We'll have competitions, ya
know, awards.
354
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:05,816
So those are the basics of the reality
355
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:06,483
show.
356
00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:12,489
The less you know the better.
357
00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:15,200
So let me be clear on one thing.
358
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:17,828
There will be no favorites.
359
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,705
We are a team.
360
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:23,876
Everybody is going to get plenty
of screen time.
361
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:32,384
And I like the world to get to know
each and every one of you
362
00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:35,262
because I sense greatness
in this room.
363
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,181
And speaking of the cast,
364
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:38,724
I thought
365
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,769
we needed a little bit
more of a Zen aspect in this place.
366
00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:45,189
So I'd like you to meet your new yoga
instructor.
367
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:45,981
Namaste.
368
00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:49,026
My humans, my earth name is Nyles.
369
00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:53,155
My cosmic name is Baba Guru Yogi
370
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,242
G. Which you may call me
once we attain enlightenment
371
00:17:57,534 --> 00:17:58,786
in our practice together.
372
00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:00,537
If this guy thinks I'm calling him
373
00:18:00,537 --> 00:18:03,707
Baba Guru Yogi, G, he's
got another thing coming to him.
374
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,460
Namaste. Yeah. Namaste. That's great.
375
00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:07,878
I have a question.
376
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:10,380
What if we don't want
our lives on display?
377
00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:29,775
Everybody wants the limelight.
378
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:32,402
And the best part about this,
this is only the beginning
379
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:33,737
of the Dumbbells experience.
380
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:35,405
Dumbbells?
381
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,534
That's our new name.
382
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:39,743
Dumbbells.
383
00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:41,036
25/8.
384
00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:42,287
25/8?
385
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:43,372
Exactly.
386
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,916
Because 24/7's for pussies.
387
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:48,043
We're Dumbbells all the time.
388
00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:50,295
Speak for yourself.
389
00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:55,968
So does that mean we get extra hours?
390
00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:57,219
Negativo.
391
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,179
Operating hours remain the same.
392
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:01,515
So then how can we be called 25/8?
393
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:03,725
Perception
394
00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:05,894
is reality.
395
00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:08,438
Dumbbells 25/8?
396
00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:10,482
But we're still open from 6 to 9?
397
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:14,653
In today's economy, reality shows
have been proven to be a very valuable
398
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:18,490
mechanism to boost business profits
by as much as 300%.
399
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,325
And speaking of percentages,
400
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:22,619
I need everybody
to give that little bit extra.
401
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,956
So if you've been at a 100?
402
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,916
I need you at 150.
403
00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:30,252
And if you been at 10%
404
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:32,588
I suggest a complete
405
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,381
attitude adjustment.
406
00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:39,094
Fuck this guy.
407
00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:40,762
Fuck this guy.
408
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,473
500%. I'm done.
409
00:19:43,473 --> 00:19:46,143
I thought about going pro,
but I had so many modeling offers,
410
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,228
I figured, you know,
why risk an injury?
411
00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:49,062
Yeah.
412
00:19:49,062 --> 00:19:50,898
On someone else's dime.
413
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:53,192
Whole education, ya know, it’s great I love--
414
00:19:57,070 --> 00:19:57,571
Cliff.
415
00:19:57,571 --> 00:19:58,697
Can I help you?
416
00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:01,491
Actually, it's Chris.
417
00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:03,911
He's a good looking, huh?
418
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:08,165
Too bad.
419
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:08,415
He's.
420
00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:10,500
He's also married.
421
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:15,130
I know. Hi.
422
00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:19,092
I'm Jack's niece, Rachel.
423
00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:23,847
Chris.
424
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:25,182
My office.
425
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:27,226
10 minutes sharp.
426
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:42,074
Jack?
427
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,325
Yes.
428
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:44,826
You wanted to see me?
429
00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:45,577
Yeah.
430
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,329
We need to talk.
431
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:53,710
I can come back.
432
00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:54,419
No, no.
433
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:55,295
Right now.
434
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:02,135
I have two troubling words for you.
435
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:05,222
Jack.
436
00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:07,015
Cockblock.
437
00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:10,686
So you were hitting on your niece?
438
00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:13,063
It's a metaphor.
439
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:18,110
This show is like my fat cock.
440
00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:21,405
And nobody is going to block it.
441
00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:25,367
I just want to say bye.
442
00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:25,826
Rache', hi.
443
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:27,911
6 a.m.?
444
00:21:27,911 --> 00:21:28,662
6 a.m.
445
00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:29,705
sharp.
446
00:21:31,498 --> 00:21:33,250
Wow. Cool fish.
447
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,334
You like it?
448
00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:36,044
Yeah.
449
00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:37,004
Well, it's yours.
450
00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:37,796
Take it.
451
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:38,672
What? Really?
452
00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:39,840
Yes.
It was Todd's.
453
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,383
I'm sure he's going to throw it away.
454
00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:43,302
Let's find the fish at home.
455
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:45,804
Consider it to be my gift to you
for helping out with the show.
456
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,389
Thank you.
457
00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:48,307
You're welcome.
458
00:21:48,432 --> 00:21:49,308
Wow. Cool.
459
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:50,934
I'll see you bright and
early, okay?
460
00:21:50,934 --> 00:21:51,310
Yeah.
461
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:51,852
All right.
462
00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:56,481
Let me just make it
463
00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:59,192
really, really simple for you.
464
00:21:59,526 --> 00:22:01,987
Either you're a cockblock
465
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:03,613
or a Dumbbell.
466
00:22:04,364 --> 00:22:05,949
You need to choose.
467
00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:21,089
Honey, I'm home.
468
00:22:21,673 --> 00:22:23,258
There's my MVP.
469
00:22:23,258 --> 00:22:26,261
I made your favorite.
470
00:22:26,261 --> 00:22:27,012
Wow.
471
00:22:27,262 --> 00:22:30,182
Everything looks absolutely wonderful,
dear.
472
00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:33,602
Nice buzzer beating dunk over Dwight
Howard tonight.
473
00:22:33,852 --> 00:22:36,688
Oh, you'd think he would have learned
from last time.
474
00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:42,277
I set the table,
475
00:22:42,277 --> 00:22:45,989
but what do you say
we start with dessert first?
476
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:48,408
This is not my life.
477
00:22:48,825 --> 00:22:51,036
This is someone else's life.
478
00:23:02,172 --> 00:23:03,548
Chris, my man.
479
00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:04,841
What is up?
480
00:23:04,841 --> 00:23:06,968
You're a nice guy.
I wanted to tell you this in person.
481
00:23:07,177 --> 00:23:07,928
All right.
482
00:23:08,136 --> 00:23:09,221
Look, you're evicted, man.
483
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:10,722
You can't live here anymore.
484
00:23:10,722 --> 00:23:11,515
What?
485
00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:13,225
Yeah, you're getting evicted.
486
00:23:13,350 --> 00:23:14,935
You can't live here anymore.
487
00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:17,896
It's just horrible, terrible stuff
going on.
488
00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:19,731
Your car's being towed downstairs
right now, too.
489
00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:21,817
I don't know if you wanted me
to tell you.
490
00:23:22,150 --> 00:23:22,943
Awesome.
491
00:23:22,943 --> 00:23:24,861
Hey wait a sec, you uh--
You been working out?
492
00:23:24,861 --> 00:23:27,030
You look nice,
man. Real good. Incline?
493
00:23:30,158 --> 00:23:31,868
I'll, I'll-- I'll come back.
494
00:23:31,868 --> 00:23:32,119
All right.
495
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:32,577
Talk to you later.
496
00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:36,706
Uhhh-- That was my boss on the phone,
and he saw you coming in.
497
00:23:36,706 --> 00:23:37,624
And good news
498
00:23:37,624 --> 00:23:40,502
he actually thinks you look like
a professional basketball player.
499
00:23:40,877 --> 00:23:41,920
Isn't that great?
500
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:43,505
Does that mean I get the loan?
501
00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:46,133
What? No. God, no. Not even.
502
00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:47,092
Were you serious about that?
503
00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:49,469
No. You have no assets to speak of.
504
00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:53,265
Besides the size of your balls for
even asking for that amount of money.
505
00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:55,851
But look. OK, I understand.
506
00:23:56,351 --> 00:23:57,436
All right. You're desperate.
507
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:58,812
Right? Everything's falling apart.
508
00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:01,356
If I can offer you some advice.
509
00:24:01,356 --> 00:24:04,359
Get the fuck out of my office.
510
00:24:05,152 --> 00:24:07,988
Being on a reality
show was not at the top of my list.
511
00:24:08,363 --> 00:24:11,116
The last thing I wanted to do
was share my reality with anyone.
512
00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:13,452
But, Jack Guy was paying $1000
up front,
513
00:24:13,702 --> 00:24:15,704
and that bought me
more time with my landlord.
514
00:24:28,758 --> 00:24:29,759
I'm an idiot.
515
00:24:30,010 --> 00:24:31,178
Yo Mookie, you owe
516
00:24:31,178 --> 00:24:31,928
ketchup, dude.
517
00:24:31,928 --> 00:24:33,847
A full bottle of ketchup.
518
00:24:33,847 --> 00:24:35,348
Hey, Nyles, Nyles--
519
00:24:41,229 --> 00:24:42,522
Hey.
520
00:24:42,522 --> 00:24:45,775
Good morning, Dumbbell.
Check out the new uni's.
521
00:24:46,067 --> 00:24:47,110
Not bad, huh?
522
00:24:47,944 --> 00:24:48,778
You're 3 minutes late,
523
00:24:48,778 --> 00:24:51,448
you get the sleeves.
524
00:24:51,448 --> 00:24:52,616
So, what do you think?
525
00:24:53,575 --> 00:24:55,702
You don't waste any time.
526
00:24:55,702 --> 00:24:56,453
Yeah,
527
00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:00,916
dreams do come true.
528
00:25:02,250 --> 00:25:07,339
Hey, I'm glad you didn't pull a LeBron
on us, teammate.
529
00:25:07,797 --> 00:25:10,133
That's me.
530
00:25:10,133 --> 00:25:11,384
Go team.
531
00:25:11,384 --> 00:25:12,427
Come on.
532
00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:13,887
Day one of the rest of your life.
533
00:25:13,887 --> 00:25:15,305
Let's do this.
534
00:25:31,988 --> 00:25:33,365
Small.
535
00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:35,450
Thank you, Jack Guy.
536
00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:47,504
Really?
537
00:25:47,963 --> 00:25:49,756
Fuck.
538
00:25:51,967 --> 00:25:54,469
Now we're talking!
539
00:26:04,312 --> 00:26:06,314
What sweating problem?
540
00:26:25,875 --> 00:26:26,459
That's 20
541
00:26:26,459 --> 00:26:27,961
bucks old man.
542
00:26:30,046 --> 00:26:32,048
This better be good shit.
543
00:26:35,635 --> 00:26:38,346
Since when do you get to the gym
during serious training hour?
544
00:26:38,888 --> 00:26:40,974
We're filming a show aren't we?
545
00:26:40,974 --> 00:26:42,934
Since when,
do you want to do the show?
546
00:26:42,934 --> 00:26:44,894
Bobby, stop talking to me.
547
00:26:48,023 --> 00:26:49,899
Oh.
548
00:26:50,066 --> 00:26:52,027
What are you "ohhhh'ing" about?
549
00:26:52,402 --> 00:26:54,029
You got a little thing for Jack's
niece, huh?
550
00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:56,656
So I guess you made up with my Uncle?
551
00:26:59,200 --> 00:26:59,826
Hi.
552
00:26:59,951 --> 00:27:00,744
Hi.
553
00:27:00,869 --> 00:27:01,786
Hey.
554
00:27:02,829 --> 00:27:09,586
Wow. Uhhh-- You look fit.
555
00:27:10,962 --> 00:27:11,671
This is awkward.
556
00:27:11,671 --> 00:27:14,299
I'm gonna go shoot
glutamine in my ass.
557
00:27:15,675 --> 00:27:18,762
So you're the Chris Long?
558
00:27:19,012 --> 00:27:21,348
You didn't think I'd figure it
out, did you?
559
00:27:21,348 --> 00:27:24,768
I didn't really take you
for the basketball fan.
560
00:27:25,644 --> 00:27:26,561
Wait. Basketball?
561
00:27:26,561 --> 00:27:28,605
No, I was referring to the fish.
562
00:27:28,772 --> 00:27:31,691
It was signed Chris Long.
563
00:27:32,108 --> 00:27:34,152
The painting, right? Yes.
564
00:27:35,236 --> 00:27:36,071
Duh, me.
565
00:27:36,863 --> 00:27:37,364
I'm. I'm.
566
00:27:37,364 --> 00:27:40,033
I'm impressed
you were able to read my signature.
567
00:27:40,033 --> 00:27:43,119
Most people tell me it just
looks like a like a C and a star.
568
00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:45,747
Why didn't you say anything?
569
00:27:45,789 --> 00:27:48,541
Oh, I uh-- you seemed so happy.
570
00:27:48,541 --> 00:27:50,502
Who was I to interfere. Right?
571
00:27:51,461 --> 00:27:53,630
I can't believe you painted that.
572
00:27:53,630 --> 00:27:57,300
It's so cute.
573
00:27:57,717 --> 00:27:59,511
Well, thank you. I'm.
574
00:27:59,511 --> 00:28:00,595
I'm glad that you.
575
00:28:00,595 --> 00:28:01,554
You liked it.
576
00:28:01,554 --> 00:28:03,848
I named him Frank. Frank, the fish.
577
00:28:04,307 --> 00:28:05,350
Do you mind?
578
00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:07,185
What? That you stole my painting.
579
00:28:07,185 --> 00:28:09,521
Or that you renamed Belvedere?
580
00:28:11,064 --> 00:28:13,274
OK. Good morning, everyone.
581
00:28:13,274 --> 00:28:16,027
Welcome to the Dumbbells experience.
582
00:28:16,027 --> 00:28:18,196
We're
going to have a lot of fun today,
583
00:28:18,196 --> 00:28:21,366
but first, I'd like us all
to give a big, warm Dumbbells
584
00:28:21,366 --> 00:28:24,911
welcome to our very own
Dumbbells, girls.
585
00:28:34,504 --> 00:28:35,714
And I'd also like us
586
00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:38,174
to give a big hand
to our very acclaimed director.
587
00:28:38,758 --> 00:28:40,301
Famous for his award winning short.
588
00:28:40,301 --> 00:28:41,803
"I think it's HPV." Mr.
589
00:28:41,803 --> 00:28:43,221
Sterling, LaBeouf.
590
00:28:43,221 --> 00:28:44,723
Jones.
591
00:28:49,602 --> 00:28:52,564
I'm pretty sure this guy doesn't
realize he's in America.
592
00:28:54,524 --> 00:28:55,442
Thank you, Sterling.
593
00:28:55,984 --> 00:28:58,153
So now
we're going to do a little B roll,
594
00:28:58,153 --> 00:29:02,866
so please do me a fav, just pair
up, work out.
595
00:29:02,866 --> 00:29:04,492
And most importantly just mingle.
596
00:29:04,492 --> 00:29:07,662
Pretend like we're not even here,
but it is television.
597
00:29:08,413 --> 00:29:10,665
So remember,
it's all about looking hot.
598
00:29:11,416 --> 00:29:13,501
But please, don't sweat.
599
00:29:14,127 --> 00:29:16,212
OK, let's do this. Dumbbell teams out.
600
00:29:17,005 --> 00:29:17,338
Whoo!
601
00:29:20,175 --> 00:29:22,093
We're partners right?
602
00:29:24,846 --> 00:29:27,640
But then I discovered what I loved
which was psychotherapy.
603
00:29:28,433 --> 00:29:30,101
Psychotherapy?
604
00:29:30,101 --> 00:29:30,643
Yep.
605
00:29:30,643 --> 00:29:32,896
I'm going to be a therapist.
606
00:29:33,563 --> 00:29:35,023
Really? What?
607
00:29:35,023 --> 00:29:36,566
You sound surprised.
608
00:29:36,566 --> 00:29:39,277
No, it's just kind of funny
because people are always telling me
609
00:29:39,277 --> 00:29:41,446
that I need therapy.
610
00:29:41,529 --> 00:29:42,572
Great stuff.
611
00:29:42,572 --> 00:29:43,156
Keep going.
612
00:29:43,156 --> 00:29:45,366
I love the honesty.
613
00:29:47,535 --> 00:29:49,245
Physical therapy.
614
00:29:49,245 --> 00:29:50,622
I mean,
615
00:29:51,456 --> 00:29:54,292
and that is why I work out here.
616
00:29:55,710 --> 00:29:56,669
Let's go Dumbbells!
617
00:29:58,630 --> 00:30:00,799
Can you believe this shit?
618
00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:01,090
Yeah.
619
00:30:01,090 --> 00:30:03,259
It's a total exploitation of women.
620
00:30:04,010 --> 00:30:05,220
I'm talking about Chris.
621
00:30:05,220 --> 00:30:08,181
Oh. He's actually talking to her
as if she's a person.
622
00:30:10,892 --> 00:30:13,353
So you obviously don't like talking
about basketball.
623
00:30:13,353 --> 00:30:14,312
So what I want to know
624
00:30:14,312 --> 00:30:16,898
is, other than adorable fish,
what else do you paint?
625
00:30:17,190 --> 00:30:20,068
I don't really paint
that much anymore.
626
00:30:20,527 --> 00:30:21,611
You're good. You should keep at it.
627
00:30:24,030 --> 00:30:25,406
Are you drinking soda?
628
00:30:25,406 --> 00:30:26,658
You out of your fucking mind?
629
00:30:26,658 --> 00:30:28,785
I don't put that shit in my body.
630
00:30:28,785 --> 00:30:30,286
I'm downing some C.O.C.
631
00:30:30,286 --> 00:30:31,996
Cellular oxygen, creatine.
632
00:30:31,996 --> 00:30:32,705
A liquid formula
633
00:30:32,705 --> 00:30:33,122
that triples
634
00:30:33,122 --> 00:30:36,459
my amino acid circulation while
quadrupling my recovery time by five.
635
00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:38,753
Plus it tastes like cherries.
636
00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:43,216
Yea I was uh--
the captain of the gymnastics squad.
637
00:30:44,425 --> 00:30:46,636
I'm gonna get a quick
drink from the water fountain.
638
00:30:46,803 --> 00:30:47,387
All right.
639
00:30:47,387 --> 00:30:48,137
OK, so I'll be.
640
00:30:48,137 --> 00:30:49,013
I'll be right back.
641
00:30:49,013 --> 00:30:49,806
OK.
642
00:30:49,806 --> 00:30:53,101
Oh, did you drop something?
643
00:31:02,652 --> 00:31:04,070
How's the date going?
644
00:31:04,445 --> 00:31:06,072
It is not a date.
645
00:31:06,072 --> 00:31:07,448
It looks like a date from over here.
646
00:31:07,448 --> 00:31:08,658
It is not a date.
647
00:31:09,284 --> 00:31:13,746
Just tell her how you feel.
648
00:31:14,747 --> 00:31:16,875
Hey. Why is only one of your pits
Niagara Falling?
649
00:31:19,627 --> 00:31:21,462
OK. Are
650
00:31:21,462 --> 00:31:23,965
we ready for the exciting
time of the show?
651
00:31:24,841 --> 00:31:26,759
Gather round, gather round!
652
00:31:30,889 --> 00:31:31,848
You could selling to all these people.
653
00:31:33,224 --> 00:31:35,435
Keep your voice down, ok?
654
00:31:35,852 --> 00:31:37,520
They're still shooting.
655
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:38,521
Namaste!
656
00:31:38,855 --> 00:31:41,941
I can't have cameras rolling 25/8.
657
00:31:42,358 --> 00:31:43,443
But the gym's only open from, like,
658
00:31:43,443 --> 00:31:45,904
6 to 9?
659
00:31:50,241 --> 00:31:52,785
You guys ready to meet your celebrity
host?
660
00:31:52,785 --> 00:31:55,330
Come on, come on, alright.
661
00:31:55,330 --> 00:31:57,832
Now, this is a personal
friend of mine,
662
00:31:57,832 --> 00:31:59,918
and he just happens to be
663
00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:03,463
one of the iconic sex
symbols of our era.
664
00:32:03,713 --> 00:32:05,757
Is it Brad Pitt?
665
00:32:05,798 --> 00:32:07,008
No, no.
666
00:32:07,008 --> 00:32:09,677
Oh my God. Is it Matthew McConaughey?
667
00:32:09,677 --> 00:32:10,178
No.
668
00:32:10,178 --> 00:32:11,846
Hulk Hogan?
669
00:32:11,846 --> 00:32:13,181
Would you shut the fuck up, people.
670
00:32:13,181 --> 00:32:13,932
Let me do this.
671
00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:16,476
All right, come on. OK.
672
00:32:17,894 --> 00:32:19,562
Drumroll, please.
673
00:32:20,229 --> 00:32:22,815
Dumbbells girls, please take your places.
674
00:32:26,778 --> 00:32:28,988
All right. With great pleasure.
675
00:32:29,238 --> 00:32:31,199
I would like to introduce
676
00:32:31,574 --> 00:32:32,742
the one
677
00:32:33,326 --> 00:32:34,202
the only
678
00:32:35,578 --> 00:32:36,871
the fabulous
679
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:38,706
FABIO!
680
00:32:39,082 --> 00:32:39,958
Whala!
681
00:32:40,416 --> 00:32:42,710
YES! YES!
682
00:32:45,672 --> 00:32:47,340
Yes, I'm fucking stoked!!!
683
00:32:48,508 --> 00:32:49,968
Have you tried his protein powder?
684
00:32:49,968 --> 00:32:51,469
It's fucking fantastic.
685
00:33:40,685 --> 00:33:41,644
So what'd you do?
686
00:33:41,644 --> 00:33:45,064
You try rehabilitating it
or something?
687
00:33:46,065 --> 00:33:47,108
I did. I did.
688
00:33:47,108 --> 00:33:49,569
And it was going really good too.
689
00:33:49,569 --> 00:33:51,070
I was making really good progress.
690
00:33:51,070 --> 00:33:53,197
Had some of the best
physical therapists there were.
691
00:33:53,823 --> 00:33:56,743
The Miami Heat even invited me
to their summer league.
692
00:33:57,201 --> 00:34:00,204
Wow. That's amazing.
693
00:34:00,204 --> 00:34:02,248
I mean, the truth is,
694
00:34:02,248 --> 00:34:04,417
I was never better than
695
00:34:04,500 --> 00:34:07,962
50% after my injury.
696
00:34:10,006 --> 00:34:10,506
It's crazy
697
00:34:10,506 --> 00:34:14,052
how life takes us in directions
we least expect, huh?
698
00:34:15,136 --> 00:34:16,596
Tell me about it.
699
00:34:16,596 --> 00:34:18,306
Hey! Turdface!
700
00:34:18,890 --> 00:34:23,227
Some icky blond tramp
just threw up in front of my salon
701
00:34:23,561 --> 00:34:25,646
and we can hear your music blasting.
702
00:34:26,189 --> 00:34:29,233
Ivana, listen, OK,
I know when you were a little brat,
703
00:34:29,233 --> 00:34:31,319
your dad gave you all the puppies
and ponies you wanted.
704
00:34:31,319 --> 00:34:33,696
But in the adult world,
you can take a time out.
705
00:34:35,448 --> 00:34:38,117
What time fucking in, Mr.
706
00:34:38,493 --> 00:34:40,328
It wasn't a pony, it was a stallion.
707
00:34:40,328 --> 00:34:41,412
And his name was Prancer.
708
00:34:41,412 --> 00:34:44,165
And he was perfect and now he's dead.
So fuck you!
709
00:34:48,044 --> 00:34:51,005
This computer's like 70 years old.
710
00:34:51,005 --> 00:34:51,964
Let's get out of here.
711
00:34:51,964 --> 00:34:53,633
So is your mother.
712
00:34:55,051 --> 00:34:57,637
And this is the point in the story
713
00:34:57,637 --> 00:35:02,350
where I realize I haven't been this
happy in a really long time.
714
00:35:02,558 --> 00:35:05,895
It turns out Jack Guy's not so bad
after all.
715
00:35:06,187 --> 00:35:07,939
Gym's busier than ever.
716
00:35:07,939 --> 00:35:10,566
And dare I say I'm smitten.
717
00:35:15,363 --> 00:35:17,490
Are you kidding me?
718
00:35:33,881 --> 00:35:34,674
Hello?
719
00:35:34,715 --> 00:35:36,509
Hey, Chris, it's Kimmy.
720
00:35:36,509 --> 00:35:39,720
Miss me?
Of course you do. Oh, my gosh.
721
00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:42,849
Daddy and I just got back from Sandro
Pe, you would not believe it
722
00:35:42,849 --> 00:35:46,394
I am so tan, but like perfect,
not too tan because that's gross.
723
00:35:46,394 --> 00:35:47,937
it's like the best skin color, ever...
724
00:36:02,326 --> 00:36:03,244
Day one.
725
00:36:04,245 --> 00:36:06,330
25/8 success.
726
00:36:08,249 --> 00:36:09,125
Jack?
727
00:36:09,667 --> 00:36:11,711
Chris, what are you still doing here?
728
00:36:12,753 --> 00:36:15,131
I didn't realize
anybody was still here.
729
00:36:15,131 --> 00:36:16,632
I was using the Internet.
730
00:36:16,632 --> 00:36:18,634
You don't have the Internet at home.?
731
00:36:18,634 --> 00:36:21,012
Well, I kind of haven't paid the bill
in the last couple...
732
00:36:21,470 --> 00:36:22,722
seven months.
733
00:36:22,722 --> 00:36:23,890
So no.
734
00:36:25,016 --> 00:36:26,475
Money problems, huh?
735
00:36:26,475 --> 00:36:27,602
You know what they say?
736
00:36:27,602 --> 00:36:28,477
Mo money.
737
00:36:28,477 --> 00:36:30,396
Mo problems.
738
00:36:32,773 --> 00:36:33,149
Yeah.
739
00:36:33,149 --> 00:36:34,650
What do they say about no money?
740
00:36:34,650 --> 00:36:36,277
Oh, excuse.
741
00:36:37,987 --> 00:36:38,529
Maria.
742
00:36:38,529 --> 00:36:40,573
Que tal?
743
00:36:40,573 --> 00:36:43,492
Si. Que? Oh, no problemo.
744
00:36:43,993 --> 00:36:47,538
Oh, eh tambien, en pun
745
00:36:47,538 --> 00:36:50,041
un case de Dos Equis
746
00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:52,418
en la nevera, si.
747
00:36:52,418 --> 00:36:55,296
Mis amigos Vien and Salvador.
748
00:36:55,630 --> 00:36:56,505
Si.
749
00:36:56,631 --> 00:36:58,674
Muchos gracias. Denada.
750
00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:00,218
Buenos Noches.
751
00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:01,594
Cao cao, Maria.
752
00:37:07,308 --> 00:37:09,227
You speak Spanish.
753
00:37:09,268 --> 00:37:10,728
What a surprise.
754
00:37:10,728 --> 00:37:12,730
I used to date Sofia Vergara.
755
00:37:13,981 --> 00:37:16,025
Dude, shouldn't
you be at home spooning
756
00:37:16,025 --> 00:37:18,402
with your Victoria's
Secret supermodel wife?
757
00:37:19,445 --> 00:37:20,863
Let me tell you something about me,
Chris.
758
00:37:20,863 --> 00:37:23,491
When I start filming something.
759
00:37:23,491 --> 00:37:25,326
I never leave base camp.
760
00:37:25,326 --> 00:37:26,202
It's 25/8.
761
00:37:26,202 --> 00:37:28,454
baby, it's not just the talk.
762
00:37:28,454 --> 00:37:29,789
I walk the walk.
763
00:37:29,789 --> 00:37:31,249
Hey, could you put a towel on?
764
00:37:33,459 --> 00:37:35,127
Not a locker room guy, huh?
765
00:37:35,127 --> 00:37:37,171
More like not a cock in my face, guy.
766
00:37:39,548 --> 00:37:40,633
You OK?
767
00:37:41,050 --> 00:37:43,511
Yes, I'm fine.
768
00:37:44,887 --> 00:37:46,055
You don't sound fine.
769
00:37:46,055 --> 00:37:49,433
I'm fine.
770
00:37:53,938 --> 00:37:55,731
I know that look.
771
00:37:56,190 --> 00:37:57,275
What's her name?
772
00:38:03,030 --> 00:38:05,032
OK, I know what to do.
773
00:38:09,453 --> 00:38:11,455
Get comfortable.
774
00:38:11,998 --> 00:38:13,624
What are you doing?
775
00:38:13,708 --> 00:38:16,460
Bro. Therapy saved my life.
776
00:38:19,005 --> 00:38:21,132
What is with everybody?
777
00:38:21,299 --> 00:38:23,592
I don't need therapy!
778
00:38:23,759 --> 00:38:28,681
She said she loved--
She said she loved me!
779
00:38:28,764 --> 00:38:33,227
Guess what Kim? I don't want to play in the NBA
anyway. You materialistic, fuck!
780
00:38:33,978 --> 00:38:36,439
If she loved me then why did she leave?
781
00:38:36,605 --> 00:38:38,065
Why don't you go whiten
your teeth again?
782
00:38:38,232 --> 00:38:40,109
Why don't you throw up
that hamburger in the toilet again?
783
00:38:40,109 --> 00:38:41,193
You didn't think I can hear it.
784
00:38:41,527 --> 00:38:43,446
I can hear it every time!
785
00:38:43,904 --> 00:38:45,656
She didn't even say goodbye.
786
00:38:46,407 --> 00:38:47,992
She left a note.
787
00:38:47,992 --> 00:38:49,827
It wasn't even grammatically correct.
788
00:38:49,827 --> 00:38:50,786
And you know what else?
789
00:38:50,786 --> 00:38:53,372
That painting that I did for you,
guess what?
790
00:38:53,539 --> 00:38:56,000
It was runner up in the Santa Monica
amateur arts festival.
791
00:38:56,709 --> 00:38:58,794
Two years in a row, beotch!
792
00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:00,254
I guess what bothers me
793
00:39:00,254 --> 00:39:03,341
the most is obsessively pondering over
what I could have been.
794
00:39:03,883 --> 00:39:05,009
My true potential.
795
00:39:05,009 --> 00:39:10,598
An NBA Star, League MVP,
happily married to Kim.
796
00:39:11,432 --> 00:39:13,434
Or anything other than what I am now.
797
00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:15,936
Chris.
798
00:39:16,479 --> 00:39:18,856
Sometimes we need to lose everything
that we think we want
799
00:39:19,482 --> 00:39:21,817
in order to discover who it is
that we really are.
800
00:39:22,902 --> 00:39:24,320
That's deep.
801
00:39:24,737 --> 00:39:26,822
It's a magnet on my refrigerator.
802
00:39:26,822 --> 00:39:28,282
$4.95.
803
00:39:28,282 --> 00:39:30,493
I can show you the place
where I get them, they're amazing.
804
00:39:31,285 --> 00:39:32,828
She told me if I passed the exam,
805
00:39:32,828 --> 00:39:34,997
I could work for her father's
real estate company.
806
00:39:35,581 --> 00:39:40,544
$75,000 starting salary.
807
00:39:41,045 --> 00:39:45,883
She goes on a retreat,
and now all of a sudden, she appears.
808
00:39:46,300 --> 00:39:48,344
I mean, where's she been?
And why do I still give a shit?
809
00:39:49,136 --> 00:39:51,597
If you didn't give a shit,
you'd be just like her.
810
00:39:52,139 --> 00:39:54,475
Be thankful.
811
00:39:54,558 --> 00:39:56,143
You know what. You're right.
812
00:39:56,310 --> 00:39:58,479
You're absolutely right.
813
00:39:58,979 --> 00:40:01,357
Don't beat yourself up, pal.
814
00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:05,528
That injury is probably the best thing
that could happen to you.
815
00:40:06,529 --> 00:40:08,864
That injury saved your life.
816
00:40:10,741 --> 00:40:12,201
I don't need her,
817
00:40:12,201 --> 00:40:14,370
and I don't need her daddy's money.
818
00:40:14,870 --> 00:40:17,373
I've got things going on in my life.
819
00:40:17,373 --> 00:40:18,332
I've got.
820
00:40:18,916 --> 00:40:20,334
I've got Jack Guy.
821
00:40:20,334 --> 00:40:21,544
That's right, brother.
822
00:40:21,961 --> 00:40:23,421
I've got Dumbbells 25/8.
823
00:40:23,421 --> 00:40:24,672
Right?
824
00:40:27,007 --> 00:40:28,259
Ya know Jack,
825
00:40:28,717 --> 00:40:31,220
I am feeling really good right now.
826
00:40:31,512 --> 00:40:34,974
And, you know, I don't know
if it's just the 14 energy
827
00:40:34,974 --> 00:40:38,102
drinks, but my knee feels amazing.
828
00:40:38,102 --> 00:40:40,146
I mean, look at this, huh? Hi-Ya!
829
00:40:41,105 --> 00:40:43,649
Everybody should try therapy
once, huh?
830
00:40:47,319 --> 00:40:49,905
Hey, dumbass. Did you forget
to lock the door last night?
831
00:40:49,905 --> 00:40:51,490
I was a little tipsy.
832
00:40:51,490 --> 00:40:53,409
Wait, do you hear music?
833
00:41:15,055 --> 00:41:17,099
Good morning!
834
00:41:21,145 --> 00:41:22,188
Who wants breakfast?
835
00:41:22,688 --> 00:41:24,773
Energy drink?
836
00:41:26,442 --> 00:41:29,236
Hey, there he is!
837
00:41:29,737 --> 00:41:31,572
Day two, baby.
838
00:41:32,114 --> 00:41:33,782
Ready to do this, buddy?
839
00:41:33,991 --> 00:41:36,160
Nice wheels.
840
00:41:37,453 --> 00:41:38,871
Hey, Jack.
841
00:41:38,871 --> 00:41:40,539
Hey, something wrong?
842
00:41:40,623 --> 00:41:44,502
I've been an A-hole,
a jerk to both of you.
843
00:41:45,169 --> 00:41:47,296
And I want you to know that
844
00:41:48,005 --> 00:41:50,716
I think you're both equally amazing.
845
00:41:51,175 --> 00:41:52,968
These were my issues
that I was dealing with.
846
00:41:55,095 --> 00:41:57,139
The check bounced you asshole.
847
00:41:57,139 --> 00:41:59,183
Come on. Come on. Really?
848
00:41:59,683 --> 00:42:02,019
There must be some mistake come-- Fabs
You know I'm good for it.
849
00:42:02,019 --> 00:42:04,230
Listen, don't call me Fab. It's Fabio.
850
00:42:04,563 --> 00:42:05,564
Fab-ee-o.
851
00:42:05,689 --> 00:42:06,857
Ee-o.
852
00:42:06,857 --> 00:42:07,566
Fab-ee-o.
853
00:42:07,691 --> 00:42:08,817
Yeah, Fabio.
854
00:42:08,817 --> 00:42:09,610
Ee-o.
855
00:42:09,735 --> 00:42:11,529
Yeah, ee-o, ee-o, you idiot.
856
00:42:12,279 --> 00:42:14,198
B-T-Dubs.
857
00:42:14,865 --> 00:42:16,784
I like Rachel. There.
858
00:42:16,784 --> 00:42:18,911
I said it. I don't even care
if she's standing right behind me.
859
00:42:18,953 --> 00:42:20,037
I like Rachel.
860
00:42:20,037 --> 00:42:23,832
I really like Rachel.
861
00:42:24,208 --> 00:42:27,670
She's smart, funny, flexible.
862
00:42:28,170 --> 00:42:29,755
Might try poking her later.
863
00:42:29,755 --> 00:42:32,591
Facebook wise, of course.
864
00:42:32,591 --> 00:42:33,342
Saul!
865
00:42:33,342 --> 00:42:35,761
Call me back for the fourth time.
866
00:42:35,761 --> 00:42:36,762
Where the hell are you?
867
00:42:36,762 --> 00:42:40,266
I've got a huge problem.
868
00:42:42,184 --> 00:42:43,394
What's wrong?
869
00:42:45,437 --> 00:42:48,399
Fabio, quit.
870
00:42:49,733 --> 00:42:51,944
Oh. Why?
871
00:42:51,944 --> 00:42:53,737
Because he's a dick.
872
00:42:53,737 --> 00:42:56,115
And the check I wrote him
bounced, probably didn't help.
873
00:42:57,366 --> 00:42:58,075
Oh.
874
00:42:58,325 --> 00:43:00,202
I mean,
I've got my money manager on it,
875
00:43:00,202 --> 00:43:01,495
but what it means is
876
00:43:01,495 --> 00:43:04,331
I've got everybody here, but gotta
send them home and still pay for.
877
00:43:05,124 --> 00:43:06,667
You should host the show.
878
00:43:06,667 --> 00:43:08,586
You're always doing modeling
campaigns,
879
00:43:08,586 --> 00:43:10,629
you're
used to being in front of a camera.
880
00:43:10,629 --> 00:43:12,172
Why don't you do it?
881
00:43:12,172 --> 00:43:13,090
Come on, buddy.
882
00:43:13,090 --> 00:43:14,800
You can host this show, hell
883
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,720
you through 28 touchdowns
in a single game!
884
00:43:18,262 --> 00:43:19,179
That was in a season.
885
00:43:22,975 --> 00:43:24,977
That does make more sense.
886
00:43:24,977 --> 00:43:25,519
Yeah.
887
00:43:25,561 --> 00:43:28,314
Kind of thought it was bullshit
when I first heard about that.
888
00:43:29,023 --> 00:43:29,773
But that's irrelevant.
889
00:43:29,773 --> 00:43:33,027
OK, because you did rush for 300 yards
890
00:43:33,277 --> 00:43:35,821
with the stomach
flu on a bad ankle, did you not?
891
00:43:36,113 --> 00:43:37,740
How do you even know that?
892
00:43:37,740 --> 00:43:40,034
I Google, Facebook, MySpace,
Wikipedia, and Twitter'd you.
893
00:43:40,659 --> 00:43:42,703
Plus, you told me last night
right before power napped.
894
00:43:46,665 --> 00:43:47,082
We're all
895
00:43:47,082 --> 00:43:49,960
looking through the point of view
of our own reality tunnel man.
896
00:43:50,169 --> 00:43:54,048
And every reality tunnel is different.
897
00:43:54,256 --> 00:43:57,301
Did you know that Wikipedia says
Fabio's protein is better than water?
898
00:43:57,885 --> 00:43:58,844
Probably right.
899
00:44:22,034 --> 00:44:26,288
What you did with my lashes to make
my eyes pop, perfect, I love that.
900
00:44:27,581 --> 00:44:28,540
Ready to roll
Sterling?
901
00:44:32,628 --> 00:44:33,253
What's going on?
902
00:44:33,253 --> 00:44:34,713
Why is Jack getting concealer applied?
903
00:44:34,713 --> 00:44:37,174
His skin is perfect.
904
00:44:37,174 --> 00:44:39,760
I've used a lot cleanser
that's how I keep my skin smooth.
905
00:44:40,010 --> 00:44:40,844
Fabio, quit.
906
00:44:40,844 --> 00:44:41,929
Jack's the host.
907
00:44:41,929 --> 00:44:44,682
And Chris is a fucking Alien. Jack.
908
00:44:46,100 --> 00:44:47,351
Odd, Todd, what's up?
909
00:44:47,351 --> 00:44:48,018
I was
910
00:44:48,018 --> 00:44:51,480
uh-- trying to upload the footage
to your Mac from yesterday
911
00:44:51,522 --> 00:44:53,023
like you told me, but for some reason,
912
00:44:53,023 --> 00:44:56,026
it doesn't seem that the, uh-- footage
actually recorded.
913
00:44:56,902 --> 00:44:57,653
What?
914
00:44:59,988 --> 00:45:01,573
Sterling
just hold on for a second alright?
915
00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:05,577
how is that possible?
916
00:45:05,577 --> 00:45:07,121
I mean, how could that be?
917
00:45:07,955 --> 00:45:10,582
32 gigabytes of, beer!
918
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:17,756
I-- I don't know.
919
00:45:20,718 --> 00:45:22,302
Sterling, did you know about this?
920
00:45:33,605 --> 00:45:36,734
I don't understand
one fucking word you're saying.
921
00:45:36,775 --> 00:45:39,111
Does anyone here speak idiot?
922
00:45:40,654 --> 00:45:43,949
Alright just fuck it,
you know what, if you needs something
923
00:45:43,949 --> 00:45:45,492
done, right. You got to do it
yourself. Just.
924
00:45:45,492 --> 00:45:47,202
Just roll, Sterling,
I'm ready to go. Let's do this!
925
00:45:52,207 --> 00:45:53,417
Fucking bitch.
926
00:45:53,417 --> 00:45:55,085
Are you
the owner of this establishment?
927
00:45:55,544 --> 00:45:56,503
I am.
928
00:45:56,503 --> 00:45:59,256
I'm with the Department of Health
and pardon the pun,
929
00:45:59,923 --> 00:46:03,010
but you need
to get your shit together.
930
00:46:06,805 --> 00:46:09,016
Have a nice day.
931
00:46:23,739 --> 00:46:25,991
Hello, America! Uh--
932
00:46:28,035 --> 00:46:29,870
We're in the gym.
933
00:46:30,204 --> 00:46:31,747
Uh. Uhhh--
934
00:46:32,039 --> 00:46:33,832
28/5, Uh--
935
00:46:34,249 --> 00:46:37,336
Uh-- 20, 25, Uh-- Uh, 25.
936
00:46:37,628 --> 00:46:40,214
Dumbbells 25/8
937
00:46:41,673 --> 00:46:42,633
is it fitness center?
938
00:46:42,633 --> 00:46:44,468
Or is it gym?
939
00:46:46,512 --> 00:46:47,721
G-- Is it g-- gym?
940
00:46:47,721 --> 00:46:50,224
OK. Uhhh-- But-- Yeah, I can't.
941
00:46:50,682 --> 00:46:52,392
I ca-- can't work like this.
942
00:46:52,392 --> 00:46:54,394
This is impossible!
943
00:47:01,193 --> 00:47:02,736
Hello, America.
944
00:47:03,445 --> 00:47:05,823
To be or not to be.
945
00:47:05,823 --> 00:47:08,033
That is the question.
946
00:47:08,659 --> 00:47:11,328
Aw, shit pancakes!
947
00:47:11,328 --> 00:47:13,497
You got to be shitting me right now.
948
00:47:13,497 --> 00:47:15,415
This is my fucking opportunity.
949
00:47:15,415 --> 00:47:18,210
Son of a bitch, motherfucker.
950
00:47:21,046 --> 00:47:22,840
Everything's OK.
951
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:24,842
It's just a coincidence
that all my checks are bouncing
952
00:47:25,425 --> 00:47:27,302
Saul travels a lot.
953
00:47:27,302 --> 00:47:28,512
It's always hard to get a hold of.
954
00:47:28,637 --> 00:47:29,763
Uncle Jack?
955
00:47:30,138 --> 00:47:31,723
Hello, Rachel.
956
00:47:32,140 --> 00:47:33,392
Are you OK?
957
00:47:33,392 --> 00:47:35,811
Just having
a few communication issues.
958
00:47:36,186 --> 00:47:40,858
You know what I just thought of
why don't you call Adriana?
959
00:47:41,441 --> 00:47:43,777
She would make a perfect host. Problem
solved.
960
00:47:43,777 --> 00:47:45,988
Great idea.
961
00:47:45,988 --> 00:47:48,407
Yeah. Adriana.
962
00:47:48,407 --> 00:47:50,367
Adriana left me five months ago.
963
00:47:52,327 --> 00:47:57,332
Oh. Is this Arcturian, related?
964
00:47:57,875 --> 00:47:59,251
Arcturian?
965
00:47:59,501 --> 00:48:01,628
He was in a cult for 20 years.
966
00:48:02,337 --> 00:48:04,089
What like, Catholicism?
967
00:48:04,089 --> 00:48:06,216
No, they worshipped a star, Arcturus.
968
00:48:07,426 --> 00:48:09,887
Oh, they worshipped a star.
969
00:48:10,053 --> 00:48:12,347
Arcturus. Of course.
970
00:48:12,347 --> 00:48:14,892
But he escaped.
971
00:48:14,892 --> 00:48:16,435
Hey.
972
00:48:17,352 --> 00:48:19,771
Yes, he did.
973
00:48:19,771 --> 00:48:21,940
Yeah. Oh. Oh. Look at that!
974
00:48:22,482 --> 00:48:24,192
Things are looking brighter already.
You see that?
975
00:48:24,192 --> 00:48:26,862
Literally brighter.
976
00:48:26,862 --> 00:48:27,946
And there he goes, folks.
977
00:48:27,946 --> 00:48:30,282
Money manager Saul Rosenblattsteinberg
978
00:48:30,282 --> 00:48:33,994
is being indicted on accusations
of running a Ponzi scheme.
979
00:48:34,119 --> 00:48:37,831
Involving some of Hollywood's
biggest names, many of whom are linked
980
00:48:37,831 --> 00:48:40,500
to the alleged cult
known as Arcturian Lifestyles,
981
00:48:40,751 --> 00:48:43,921
which was first exposed
by famous model and former member
982
00:48:43,921 --> 00:48:46,924
Jack Guy,
who was also a victim in this tragic
983
00:48:46,924 --> 00:48:48,717
turn of events.
984
00:48:56,725 --> 00:48:57,517
Jack Guy
985
00:48:57,517 --> 00:48:59,561
had his demons, too, like all of us.
986
00:49:00,646 --> 00:49:01,688
Adriana never loved me.
987
00:49:01,688 --> 00:49:03,357
She said she did, but she didn't.
988
00:49:04,983 --> 00:49:07,569
She wen't away on a photo shoot
and she never even came back.
989
00:49:07,569 --> 00:49:10,572
I didn't join the cult mother!
990
00:49:11,198 --> 00:49:11,573
No one joins a cult!
991
00:49:11,573 --> 00:49:14,576
I was brainwashed!
992
00:49:15,744 --> 00:49:17,913
She fell in love with some German
photographer with a ponytail.
993
00:49:18,038 --> 00:49:21,249
They told me I was saving the world
they said sign here.
994
00:49:21,375 --> 00:49:23,418
You’ll help save the world. I signed!
995
00:49:23,835 --> 00:49:25,420
What would you do!?
996
00:49:25,712 --> 00:49:26,546
Dirk.
997
00:49:26,713 --> 00:49:27,631
Dirk the jerk.
998
00:49:27,631 --> 00:49:29,675
And to answer your question.
999
00:49:29,675 --> 00:49:33,679
Yes. Yes, I did think
the spaceships were coming!
1000
00:49:34,096 --> 00:49:35,138
I guess what bothers me
1001
00:49:35,138 --> 00:49:38,600
the most is that no
one ever seems to take me seriously.
1002
00:49:39,434 --> 00:49:41,770
I mean, even in the cult,
my nickname was Dipshit.
1003
00:49:43,021 --> 00:49:44,523
Therapy did the trick again.
1004
00:49:44,523 --> 00:49:46,108
But the truth still remained.
1005
00:49:46,108 --> 00:49:50,570
Jack Guy was flat broke,
and now he couldn't pay his landlord.
1006
00:49:51,363 --> 00:49:53,782
Once again, I'm really, really sorry.
1007
00:49:55,450 --> 00:49:56,326
But in light of
1008
00:49:56,326 --> 00:49:58,620
everything that's happened,
1009
00:49:59,287 --> 00:50:03,250
unless some sort of miracle occurs,
I strongly encourage
1010
00:50:03,250 --> 00:50:05,585
all of you to explore other employment
opportunities.
1011
00:50:06,086 --> 00:50:08,755
Three days of working here,
you get a shut down!?
1012
00:50:15,595 --> 00:50:17,222
She's pregnant.
1013
00:50:19,808 --> 00:50:21,435
You are the best, best,
1014
00:50:21,435 --> 00:50:23,687
best, best-- You're the bestest.
1015
00:50:27,065 --> 00:50:27,774
Chrissy-poo.
1016
00:50:28,233 --> 00:50:29,526
I love you.
1017
00:50:29,526 --> 00:50:31,987
You are perfect in every way.
1018
00:50:32,946 --> 00:50:34,656
Except for one itsy-bitsy
1019
00:50:34,865 --> 00:50:36,658
teeny tiny little thing.
1020
00:50:36,950 --> 00:50:38,410
What's that?
1021
00:50:38,410 --> 00:50:41,288
You're a fucking loser! LOSER!
1022
00:50:41,705 --> 00:50:43,832
Don't be so emotional Chris.
1023
00:50:43,832 --> 00:50:46,168
Loser. Loser.
1024
00:50:46,168 --> 00:50:48,754
You're an art major. Loser.
1025
00:50:48,879 --> 00:50:50,714
This is not my life!
1026
00:50:50,714 --> 00:50:51,798
LOSER!
1027
00:50:51,798 --> 00:50:53,508
This is someone else's life.
1028
00:51:09,858 --> 00:51:11,443
We take the underprivileged kids
1029
00:51:11,443 --> 00:51:14,946
that I work with to the park
to get some outdoor activity.
1030
00:51:15,655 --> 00:51:20,660
I was thinking maybe you could come by
and show some basketball moves
1031
00:51:20,660 --> 00:51:21,870
or something.
1032
00:51:25,499 --> 00:51:28,335
Yeah, that sounds awesome.
1033
00:51:34,841 --> 00:51:35,801
You're early.
1034
00:51:36,885 --> 00:51:41,223
I figured I could use some practice.
1035
00:51:43,141 --> 00:51:46,770
Let's play some basketball.
1036
00:52:07,749 --> 00:52:08,875
Ta-daaa!
1037
00:52:09,793 --> 00:52:11,002
I figured we'd have to eat.
1038
00:52:11,002 --> 00:52:11,878
Right.
1039
00:52:12,546 --> 00:52:14,631
Check it out. Hey, boo. Boo.
1040
00:52:14,756 --> 00:52:17,217
I got this picnic basket from the park
ranger myself.
1041
00:52:17,217 --> 00:52:18,301
Boo boo.
1042
00:52:19,636 --> 00:52:20,846
Yogi Bear?
1043
00:52:23,431 --> 00:52:24,766
OK, let's eat.
1044
00:52:24,766 --> 00:52:27,727
First up, my famous homemade macaroni
salad.
1045
00:52:27,853 --> 00:52:28,228
Chris--
1046
00:52:28,228 --> 00:52:32,023
Next up is a 1981 bottle of merlot
1047
00:52:32,232 --> 00:52:35,026
given to me by my great grandmother
over a decade ago.
1048
00:52:35,235 --> 00:52:37,404
For a special occasion.
1049
00:52:37,404 --> 00:52:40,115
And lastly for dessert,
1050
00:52:40,615 --> 00:52:42,576
peach and raspberry cobbler pie...
1051
00:52:47,831 --> 00:52:48,582
Oh, I'm sorry.
1052
00:52:48,582 --> 00:52:49,249
You wanted to say something...
1053
00:52:51,918 --> 00:52:52,586
I--
1054
00:52:52,752 --> 00:52:56,173
If you're such a superstar player,
how come you can't dunk?
1055
00:52:56,798 --> 00:53:00,135
Well, I actually used to be able to
dunk pretty well back in the day, so.
1056
00:53:00,844 --> 00:53:03,054
I still don't think you can.
1057
00:53:04,222 --> 00:53:05,223
Bu-gawk!
1058
00:53:05,223 --> 00:53:06,016
Seriously, Manny!
1059
00:53:06,892 --> 00:53:09,853
I got ten baseball cards
that says you can't.
1060
00:53:09,936 --> 00:53:11,188
Oooh.
1061
00:53:11,396 --> 00:53:11,897
All right.
1062
00:53:11,897 --> 00:53:14,316
OK, let's be nice.
1063
00:53:14,316 --> 00:53:15,609
Bu-gawk! Bok Bok Bok! Bu-gawk!
1064
00:53:15,609 --> 00:53:16,693
Manny!
1065
00:53:25,952 --> 00:53:26,578
Chris. Chris.
1066
00:53:26,661 --> 00:53:27,120
Chris. Chris.
1067
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:28,872
Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris.
1068
00:53:29,039 --> 00:53:30,916
Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris.
1069
00:53:30,999 --> 00:53:32,876
Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris.
1070
00:53:32,959 --> 00:53:33,585
Please, God.
1071
00:53:33,585 --> 00:53:36,213
Don't make me look stupid
in front of Rachel and all these kids.
1072
00:54:15,377 --> 00:54:16,336
Hey, baby. Huh?
1073
00:54:16,336 --> 00:54:18,004
I got back early.
1074
00:54:19,756 --> 00:54:21,132
What's going on?
1075
00:54:21,132 --> 00:54:21,800
Look at you.
1076
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:23,885
You look healthy.
1077
00:54:25,220 --> 00:54:26,846
What's.
What's up with all the rug rats?
1078
00:54:26,846 --> 00:54:28,848
Wow, Chris, I'm really sorry.
1079
00:54:28,890 --> 00:54:31,518
I never saw that one coming.
1080
00:54:31,518 --> 00:54:36,064
Yeah, me neither, Manny. Me neither.
1081
00:54:36,314 --> 00:54:37,315
Is this like a charity thing
1082
00:54:37,315 --> 00:54:41,194
or homeless people thing?
1083
00:54:42,862 --> 00:54:44,406
Yes. No, that's.
1084
00:54:44,406 --> 00:54:45,156
Hey, that's fair.
1085
00:54:45,156 --> 00:54:47,242
You know, that's how you feel, so.
1086
00:54:47,242 --> 00:54:48,994
Yes, for sure. OK.
1087
00:54:48,994 --> 00:54:49,828
See you at lunch.
1088
00:54:50,829 --> 00:54:51,705
All right.
1089
00:54:51,705 --> 00:54:54,124
Well, listen, that was my boss.
1090
00:54:54,374 --> 00:54:56,584
And he saw you coming
in. And good news.
1091
00:54:56,584 --> 00:54:58,545
He thinks you look like a movie star.
1092
00:54:58,545 --> 00:55:00,463
Yeah, an action hero. Hi-ya!
1093
00:55:01,464 --> 00:55:03,300
Ge-ge-ge-pfshhh!
1094
00:55:03,633 --> 00:55:06,177
No, Daddy, I love you stuff.
1095
00:55:06,720 --> 00:55:07,679
So does
1096
00:55:08,471 --> 00:55:10,056
that mean I have the loan?
1097
00:55:10,056 --> 00:55:12,434
No. No. Oh, God, no.
1098
00:55:12,434 --> 00:55:14,144
No. In fact, I believe his words were.
1099
00:55:14,144 --> 00:55:16,104
Get him out of my building.
1100
00:55:16,104 --> 00:55:17,897
I'm not really sure,
because when he gets angry,
1101
00:55:17,897 --> 00:55:21,026
he yells in Korean, which is weird,
because he's from Europe.
1102
00:55:21,067 --> 00:55:21,651
The loan?
1103
00:55:21,651 --> 00:55:22,652
No, that's.
1104
00:55:22,652 --> 00:55:25,155
No, you're not even close
to getting a loan.
1105
00:55:25,488 --> 00:55:28,491
You have no assets to speak of,
like, whatsoever.
1106
00:55:28,908 --> 00:55:29,326
It's.
1107
00:55:29,492 --> 00:55:31,411
It's kind of embarrassing, actually,
a man of your age,
1108
00:55:31,411 --> 00:55:33,580
when, in fact, you owe a ton of people
a ton of money.
1109
00:55:33,580 --> 00:55:36,916
So let's hope they're not Italian.
1110
00:55:36,916 --> 00:55:37,751
Chris,
1111
00:55:38,376 --> 00:55:40,211
Chris, wait up. Chris?
1112
00:55:40,211 --> 00:55:42,047
Yeah. What's up?
1113
00:55:42,047 --> 00:55:44,049
I'm sorry. Look, I meant to tell you.
1114
00:55:44,049 --> 00:55:46,176
Don't be silly.
Look, it's totally cool. I just.
1115
00:55:46,468 --> 00:55:47,135
What time is it?
1116
00:55:47,135 --> 00:55:49,679
I promised a friend
that I would help him move today.
1117
00:55:49,679 --> 00:55:51,723
I got to get to IKEA.
1118
00:55:51,723 --> 00:55:52,307
Chris.
1119
00:55:52,307 --> 00:55:53,767
t's totally cool.
You're engaged.
1120
00:55:53,892 --> 00:55:54,517
Not a big deal.
1121
00:55:54,517 --> 00:55:56,269
I mean,
he looks like a successful guy.
1122
00:55:56,269 --> 00:55:56,978
Chris.
1123
00:55:56,978 --> 00:55:58,688
Look, I just came
help you with the kids right?
1124
00:55:58,688 --> 00:55:59,272
Babe?
1125
00:55:59,898 --> 00:56:00,523
You ready?
1126
00:56:01,649 --> 00:56:03,276
It was nice meeting you, Cliff.
1127
00:56:03,401 --> 00:56:04,361
Yeah. You too--
1128
00:56:04,361 --> 00:56:05,862
Excuse me.
1129
00:56:05,862 --> 00:56:06,321
Yeah.
1130
00:56:06,321 --> 00:56:08,782
No, I took care of that.
1131
00:56:08,782 --> 00:56:10,992
I swear to God,
you call me again like that.
1132
00:56:10,992 --> 00:56:12,911
No just make the deal.
1133
00:56:13,787 --> 00:56:15,580
Oh, I'm sorry.
1134
00:56:15,580 --> 00:56:16,623
What were you saying?
1135
00:56:17,374 --> 00:56:19,250
It was nice to meet you.
1136
00:56:19,250 --> 00:56:20,710
And by the way,
thanks for helping Rachey out.
1137
00:56:20,710 --> 00:56:23,421
You know, I know those semen demons
can be a handful, right?
1138
00:56:24,089 --> 00:56:24,547
Yeah.
1139
00:56:24,547 --> 00:56:26,925
And by the way,
which one's your chariot?
1140
00:56:28,426 --> 00:56:29,386
You mean my car?
1141
00:56:29,386 --> 00:56:30,136
Exactly.
1142
00:56:30,136 --> 00:56:30,970
OK.
1143
00:56:30,970 --> 00:56:32,680
Yeah, well,
you know, I actually walked
1144
00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:35,433
because it was such a nice day,
so I'm going to go.
1145
00:56:35,767 --> 00:56:37,769
With a fucked up knee like that
I call bullshit.
1146
00:56:37,769 --> 00:56:38,978
She calls shotgun.
1147
00:56:38,978 --> 00:56:39,896
Get in.
1148
00:56:40,355 --> 00:56:41,189
Huh.
1149
00:56:41,189 --> 00:56:42,273
Where's Manny?
1150
00:56:42,273 --> 00:56:43,149
Who?
1151
00:56:43,149 --> 00:56:44,359
Manny.
1152
00:56:44,359 --> 00:56:46,694
You can give
me a handy later. Let's go.
1153
00:57:04,003 --> 00:57:07,424
Oh, what the
fuck was that a fucking pterodactyl?
1154
00:57:08,716 --> 00:57:10,051
Uh-- Jeez--
1155
00:57:39,581 --> 00:57:41,916
You are a total fuck up.
1156
00:57:41,916 --> 00:57:45,545
We tier of your resistance
and your incompetence.
1157
00:57:46,129 --> 00:57:48,089
The end of days is upon us.
1158
00:57:48,089 --> 00:57:51,509
The spaceships are coming,
and you shall learn your lesson!
1159
00:57:51,885 --> 00:57:53,553
No, no, no, no.
1160
00:57:53,553 --> 00:57:54,596
Not the hair!
1161
00:57:54,596 --> 00:57:55,889
Anything but the hair!
1162
00:57:55,972 --> 00:57:57,265
NO!!!
1163
00:58:03,188 --> 00:58:04,481
You're evicted.
1164
00:58:05,565 --> 00:58:06,357
It hurts me, bro.
1165
00:58:06,357 --> 00:58:07,192
I'm sorry.
1166
00:58:08,818 --> 00:58:10,069
Can I borrow your Titanic DVD?
1167
00:58:11,196 --> 00:58:12,405
Are you serious?
1168
00:58:12,405 --> 00:58:14,199
Smells good in here, man.
1169
00:58:14,199 --> 00:58:15,700
You still owe me Sleepless in Seattle.
1170
00:58:15,700 --> 00:58:16,493
That was yours?
1171
00:58:16,493 --> 00:58:17,285
Get out of here.
1172
00:58:17,285 --> 00:58:18,203
I gave that back to you.
1173
00:58:18,203 --> 00:58:18,870
You did not give that back to me.
1174
00:58:18,870 --> 00:58:19,704
Say it. I gave that back to you.
1175
00:58:19,704 --> 00:58:20,663
You did not give that back to me,
dammit.
1176
00:58:20,663 --> 00:58:21,247
I'll get your DVD.
1177
00:58:21,247 --> 00:58:22,040
I'll get it back to you.
1178
00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:22,957
Yeah.
1179
00:58:44,479 --> 00:58:46,606
Harold, look--
1180
00:58:46,648 --> 00:58:49,234
SURPRISE!
1181
00:59:00,995 --> 00:59:04,165
What are you doing here?
1182
00:59:04,332 --> 00:59:04,958
What do you mean?
1183
00:59:04,958 --> 00:59:06,417
What am I doing here?
1184
00:59:06,417 --> 00:59:08,461
I've come back to you.
1185
00:59:11,839 --> 00:59:13,258
Ummm...
1186
00:59:13,925 --> 00:59:16,719
Kim, uh-- you...
1187
00:59:17,512 --> 00:59:19,305
You should go.
1188
00:59:19,305 --> 00:59:20,598
Why?
1189
00:59:25,436 --> 00:59:27,480
Chris, I know that you think
1190
00:59:27,480 --> 00:59:31,859
I wasn't very nice to you in the past,
but we were kids then.
1191
00:59:32,652 --> 00:59:34,904
And we are not kids anymore.
1192
00:59:35,697 --> 00:59:36,698
Are we?
1193
00:59:38,533 --> 00:59:39,200
No, we are not.
1194
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:40,159
Oh, that.
1195
00:59:40,326 --> 00:59:41,411
That tickles.
1196
00:59:41,536 --> 00:59:44,080
By the way,
Daddy said you can start at a hundred.
1197
00:59:44,497 --> 00:59:46,207
And hundred thousand dollars?
1198
00:59:46,207 --> 00:59:48,459
Uh, huh.
1199
00:59:48,459 --> 00:59:49,669
Oh, OK.
1200
00:59:49,669 --> 00:59:50,336
All right. Kim.
1201
00:59:50,336 --> 00:59:52,547
Kim. Kim, I need to know.
1202
00:59:52,547 --> 00:59:53,381
What?
1203
00:59:53,381 --> 00:59:54,507
Why now?
1204
00:59:54,507 --> 00:59:55,925
Why not now, I'm horny.
1205
00:59:56,384 --> 00:59:58,595
No. Why now? All of a sudden?
1206
00:59:58,636 --> 01:00:00,972
Do you want to be with me?
1207
01:00:00,972 --> 01:00:03,057
Chris, I've always loved you.
1208
01:00:03,224 --> 01:00:05,560
And when you got hurt, I was scared.
1209
01:00:11,733 --> 01:00:12,525
Jack?
1210
01:00:14,235 --> 01:00:16,779
Oh shit. Oh my God.
1211
01:00:18,531 --> 01:00:19,699
Holy pigeon shit.
1212
01:00:20,366 --> 01:00:22,118
Here's to two hearts becoming one.
1213
01:00:22,118 --> 01:00:23,911
My beloved Kimmy.
1214
01:00:23,911 --> 01:00:25,330
And Chris. Salute.
1215
01:00:25,330 --> 01:00:26,706
Cheers, sir.
1216
01:00:27,123 --> 01:00:30,168
Oh. Here we are princess, fat free...
1217
01:00:30,168 --> 01:00:31,836
Sugar free, gluten free.
1218
01:00:31,836 --> 01:00:33,212
Vegan lettuce cups.
1219
01:00:33,212 --> 01:00:35,173
Minus the rice and the oil.
1220
01:00:35,173 --> 01:00:38,593
Which I'm sure is much tastier
than the chef always makes it.
1221
01:00:39,427 --> 01:00:40,720
Is that corn?
1222
01:00:44,557 --> 01:00:49,395
Yes. No, it is not.
1223
01:00:49,937 --> 01:00:51,856
It is. It is.
1224
01:00:51,856 --> 01:00:53,483
It is. Or it isn't?
1225
01:00:53,483 --> 01:00:55,735
It is if I'm being truthful about it.
1226
01:00:56,527 --> 01:00:57,153
It is corn.
1227
01:00:57,153 --> 01:00:57,737
It is.
1228
01:00:57,904 --> 01:00:58,529
It is corn.
1229
01:00:58,571 --> 01:00:58,821
Yeah.
1230
01:01:01,449 --> 01:01:02,950
Tha-- That's bad?
1231
01:01:16,214 --> 01:01:17,006
Daddy!?
1232
01:01:17,298 --> 01:01:18,049
Daddy!?
1233
01:01:20,677 --> 01:01:21,427
I'm so sorry.
1234
01:01:21,427 --> 01:01:24,305
I'm a horrible person,
and I will go improve myself
1235
01:01:24,555 --> 01:01:25,014
around the corner.
1236
01:01:27,433 --> 01:01:30,728
How difficult is it
for this restaurant
1237
01:01:30,895 --> 01:01:33,106
to get it right?
1238
01:01:41,030 --> 01:01:42,281
So as you can see
1239
01:01:42,281 --> 01:01:44,409
the living room is very spacious.
1240
01:01:45,326 --> 01:01:47,620
Well, I see that there's a pool,
1241
01:01:47,662 --> 01:01:50,206
but where's the tennis court?
1242
01:01:50,748 --> 01:01:53,710
We were told
this property has a tennis court.
1243
01:01:54,127 --> 01:01:57,422
Where do we go when the servants
are cleaning the house?
1244
01:01:59,590 --> 01:02:02,260
There's
a ping pong table in the basement.
1245
01:02:02,260 --> 01:02:04,345
How dare you?
1246
01:02:04,345 --> 01:02:08,015
I have not been practicing my backhand
for nothing.
1247
01:02:08,266 --> 01:02:10,768
Why is there so much furniture
in this room?
1248
01:02:10,810 --> 01:02:13,146
Well, ma'am,
sometimes we give prospective buyers
1249
01:02:13,146 --> 01:02:16,065
an idea of what it will look like
once they move in and furnish the uh--
1250
01:02:17,024 --> 01:02:19,777
It's pretty shitty trim who did it?
1251
01:02:23,322 --> 01:02:24,699
Jack?
1252
01:02:27,702 --> 01:02:28,870
Jack who?
1253
01:02:28,870 --> 01:02:30,621
Is he in the union?
1254
01:02:33,291 --> 01:02:36,544
He's speaking to you, dimwit.
1255
01:02:37,420 --> 01:02:38,588
I'm sorry.
1256
01:02:38,588 --> 01:02:40,965
I'm suffering from explosive diarrhea.
1257
01:02:41,674 --> 01:02:43,468
I will be right back.
1258
01:02:43,468 --> 01:02:44,427
Oh.
1259
01:02:44,427 --> 01:02:45,511
I suggest you take a shit!
1260
01:02:53,227 --> 01:02:54,187
Jack?
1261
01:02:55,146 --> 01:02:56,355
Call me Lonestar.
1262
01:02:56,355 --> 01:02:57,273
Lay low.
1263
01:02:57,940 --> 01:02:59,275
Lonestar?
1264
01:02:59,275 --> 01:02:59,817
Yeah.
1265
01:03:00,610 --> 01:03:02,487
That's what you want me to call you?
1266
01:03:02,487 --> 01:03:03,237
Yeah.
1267
01:03:03,446 --> 01:03:03,780
Lonestar?
1268
01:03:03,946 --> 01:03:04,447
Yeah.
1269
01:03:05,114 --> 01:03:06,115
That's
what we're going with?
1270
01:03:06,115 --> 01:03:07,158
Absolutely.
1271
01:03:07,158 --> 01:03:09,285
Sure. What's up, Lonestar?
1272
01:03:09,285 --> 01:03:10,286
I can't let you do this.
1273
01:03:11,829 --> 01:03:12,413
Do what?
1274
01:03:12,413 --> 01:03:14,665
This. Look at you.
1275
01:03:15,583 --> 01:03:16,793
Look at me?
1276
01:03:16,876 --> 01:03:17,752
Jack--
1277
01:03:17,752 --> 01:03:19,045
Lonestar.
1278
01:03:19,045 --> 01:03:22,465
Lonestar, look at you.
1279
01:03:23,216 --> 01:03:25,384
You don't think I look good
as a brunette?
1280
01:03:25,551 --> 01:03:27,720
I think it brings out my eyes.
1281
01:03:28,429 --> 01:03:28,971
Jack.
1282
01:03:28,971 --> 01:03:29,680
Lonestar.
1283
01:03:29,764 --> 01:03:31,140
Lonestar!
1284
01:03:31,140 --> 01:03:32,767
You look insane.
1285
01:03:32,767 --> 01:03:35,019
This is insane.
1286
01:03:39,398 --> 01:03:40,316
Oh.
1287
01:03:40,608 --> 01:03:41,150
Bianca.
1288
01:03:41,984 --> 01:03:43,903
Bianca where are you?
You got to see this.
1289
01:03:43,903 --> 01:03:45,029
You're not going to believe
this, Bianca!
1290
01:03:45,905 --> 01:03:48,449
Bia-- Ohhh--
1291
01:03:48,866 --> 01:03:51,035
Look, I'm happy right now, OK?
1292
01:03:51,410 --> 01:03:53,579
I've got my life together.
1293
01:03:53,579 --> 01:03:54,372
I've got money.
1294
01:03:54,372 --> 01:03:57,458
I can pay my rent for the first time,
in like I don't even know how long.
1295
01:03:57,875 --> 01:03:59,502
Kim and I are happy.
1296
01:03:59,502 --> 01:04:00,545
Things are great.
1297
01:04:00,545 --> 01:04:01,796
Oh, everything's great, huh?
1298
01:04:01,796 --> 01:04:03,631
Oh, come on. Open your eyes.
1299
01:04:03,631 --> 01:04:05,383
Is this really what you want?
1300
01:04:05,383 --> 01:04:08,928
You are a foul loathsome young man.
1301
01:04:09,428 --> 01:04:10,763
Loathsome!
1302
01:04:10,763 --> 01:04:14,392
I'm going to call your
office and file a complaint!
1303
01:04:17,562 --> 01:04:18,938
She had the nerve to say
1304
01:04:18,938 --> 01:04:22,942
this is a basketball expert that
my uncle sent here to help us today.
1305
01:04:22,984 --> 01:04:24,694
I mean, it was so.
1306
01:04:24,694 --> 01:04:26,195
I looked like a fool, Jack.
1307
01:04:26,195 --> 01:04:27,029
Lonestar.
1308
01:04:27,029 --> 01:04:30,366
Lonestar, I completely misread
the entire situation.
1309
01:04:30,408 --> 01:04:31,868
You didn't misread anything.
1310
01:04:31,868 --> 01:04:33,452
Her lame-o fiancee, Clay.
1311
01:04:33,452 --> 01:04:35,121
The guys been playing with her
for years.
1312
01:04:35,121 --> 01:04:37,456
Don't you see Clay is Rachel's Kim.
1313
01:04:37,456 --> 01:04:40,835
The guy is always away on business
trips, coming and going like the
1314
01:04:40,835 --> 01:04:41,294
breeze.
1315
01:04:41,294 --> 01:04:44,046
The poor girls been left
feeling lonely, confused, and sad.
1316
01:04:45,089 --> 01:04:46,299
He's not the right guy for her.
1317
01:04:46,299 --> 01:04:47,592
We've all known that.
1318
01:04:47,592 --> 01:04:51,387
But Rachel didn't realize
until she met you.
1319
01:04:51,387 --> 01:04:52,638
She said that?
1320
01:04:53,598 --> 01:04:54,348
Not exactly.
1321
01:04:54,348 --> 01:04:55,766
But I know that's what she thinks.
1322
01:04:55,766 --> 01:04:56,642
Jack--
1323
01:04:56,642 --> 01:04:57,310
Lonestar.
1324
01:04:57,435 --> 01:04:58,477
Lonestar!
1325
01:04:58,811 --> 01:05:00,229
The cult tried to kill my dreams.
1326
01:05:00,229 --> 01:05:02,773
I'm never gonna let anybody
ever do that again.
1327
01:05:02,773 --> 01:05:03,733
Don't give up on Rachel, buddy.
1328
01:05:03,733 --> 01:05:05,693
And more importantly,
don't give up on yourself.
1329
01:05:07,194 --> 01:05:08,279
You deserve better than this.
1330
01:05:08,279 --> 01:05:09,614
This.
1331
01:05:09,739 --> 01:05:11,407
Sheesh!
1332
01:05:11,407 --> 01:05:13,576
Vile, vile, vile, vile!
1333
01:05:14,035 --> 01:05:16,078
This isn't your life.
1334
01:05:17,163 --> 01:05:19,874
This is somebody else's life.
1335
01:05:27,590 --> 01:05:30,801
Wow, Jack, this is freakishly good.
1336
01:05:31,344 --> 01:05:33,346
One good thing about being in a cult
1337
01:05:33,346 --> 01:05:35,806
planning to take over the world
every day makes you very meticulous.
1338
01:05:35,806 --> 01:05:37,058
And a great strategist.
1339
01:05:37,058 --> 01:05:37,808
Apparently.
1340
01:05:37,808 --> 01:05:39,185
Oh, you know what else we should do?
1341
01:05:39,185 --> 01:05:42,146
We should do a whole grassroots
social media marketing campaign.
1342
01:05:42,271 --> 01:05:44,023
All right, let's get to work!
1343
01:05:44,023 --> 01:05:47,318
And get a little more comfortable
here.
1344
01:05:51,656 --> 01:05:52,573
Chris.
1345
01:05:54,075 --> 01:05:54,742
Kim.
1346
01:05:55,242 --> 01:05:57,370
Dude, she is hot.
1347
01:05:57,453 --> 01:05:59,538
You're not helping.
1348
01:05:59,914 --> 01:06:01,791
Alright I'll meet you out front.
1349
01:06:01,791 --> 01:06:02,750
Be strong.
1350
01:06:07,213 --> 01:06:08,047
Who was that?
1351
01:06:08,047 --> 01:06:09,423
And what were you two doing?
1352
01:06:09,423 --> 01:06:11,717
It's my friend, Lonestar.
1353
01:06:13,427 --> 01:06:14,845
Alright, Daddy's waiting, ok--
1354
01:06:15,388 --> 01:06:16,597
Kim
1355
01:06:21,560 --> 01:06:22,353
I'm leaving.
1356
01:06:22,353 --> 01:06:22,770
I know.
1357
01:06:22,770 --> 01:06:24,689
We have to go.
1358
01:06:25,314 --> 01:06:27,858
No. I'm leaving alone.
1359
01:06:27,858 --> 01:06:30,027
We're not driving to Daddy's
separately.
1360
01:06:30,027 --> 01:06:32,029
I'm not going to Daddy's.
1361
01:06:32,905 --> 01:06:34,573
Okay. This? Us?
1362
01:06:35,866 --> 01:06:36,909
It's over.
1363
01:06:36,909 --> 01:06:39,036
Your jokes aren't even funny.
1364
01:06:39,036 --> 01:06:40,746
Goodbye, Kim.
1365
01:06:42,039 --> 01:06:43,749
Oh, God is this
you being emotional again?
1366
01:06:45,793 --> 01:06:47,920
Don't be so emotional, Chris.
1367
01:06:47,920 --> 01:06:49,839
You're an art major.
1368
01:06:49,839 --> 01:06:51,590
You're delusional.
1369
01:06:51,590 --> 01:06:52,842
Wake up.
1370
01:06:57,096 --> 01:06:58,723
You know what, Kim?
1371
01:06:59,140 --> 01:07:01,684
I'm a cancer, and we are emotional.
1372
01:07:02,101 --> 01:07:04,145
Art majoring, empathetic.
1373
01:07:04,937 --> 01:07:06,188
Fish painting.
1374
01:07:06,188 --> 01:07:08,190
Motherfuckers.
1375
01:07:08,190 --> 01:07:11,902
Have a great life. Oh.
1376
01:07:11,902 --> 01:07:15,823
And you wake up.
1377
01:07:28,085 --> 01:07:29,503
God, I feel amazing.
1378
01:07:29,503 --> 01:07:31,839
I feel like I could climb a mountain
or something.
1379
01:07:32,298 --> 01:07:33,424
Why are we in a Prius?
1380
01:07:33,424 --> 01:07:35,134
I thought you had a Lamborghini?
1381
01:07:35,134 --> 01:07:37,261
Had to downsize for the mission.
1382
01:07:37,261 --> 01:07:37,887
Oh.
1383
01:07:38,929 --> 01:07:40,014
Wait, where are we going?
1384
01:07:40,014 --> 01:07:42,933
Page two. Step one, blue highlight.
1385
01:07:42,933 --> 01:07:44,018
Payback.
1386
01:07:44,226 --> 01:07:46,103
You want me to pretend
to be your lawyer?
1387
01:07:46,103 --> 01:07:46,854
Oh, yes.
1388
01:07:46,854 --> 01:07:47,646
Oh, no.
1389
01:07:47,646 --> 01:07:49,398
Those fuckers took 6 million from me.
1390
01:07:49,398 --> 01:07:50,983
We need that money to save the gym.
1391
01:07:50,983 --> 01:07:55,237
You gave a cult $6 million dollars?!
Are you out of your mind?
1392
01:07:55,446 --> 01:07:56,197
Listen.
1393
01:07:56,197 --> 01:07:58,574
I was a light-being
investing in the star Arcturus.
1394
01:07:59,366 --> 01:08:00,826
Plus, they told me it was a write-off.
1395
01:08:00,826 --> 01:08:02,536
Look, Jack, I'm a-- Lonestar.
1396
01:08:02,536 --> 01:08:04,246
Lonestar. Look,
I can't do this. I'm sorry.
1397
01:08:04,246 --> 01:08:04,872
It's too much.
1398
01:08:04,872 --> 01:08:05,956
I'm sorry. I can't.
1399
01:08:05,956 --> 01:08:07,666
We have all the power.
1400
01:08:07,666 --> 01:08:08,918
Just play the role.
1401
01:08:08,918 --> 01:08:10,336
It will be fine.
1402
01:08:12,254 --> 01:08:14,256
I did take an acting class back
in college.
1403
01:08:14,548 --> 01:08:15,508
Perfect.
1404
01:08:15,758 --> 01:08:16,717
What do I call myself?
1405
01:08:16,717 --> 01:08:19,095
I don't want them
knowing my real name.
1406
01:08:19,929 --> 01:08:20,346
Ronald.
1407
01:08:20,346 --> 01:08:22,556
Ronald McDonald, son.
1408
01:08:28,104 --> 01:08:30,231
OK, you ready?
1409
01:08:30,564 --> 01:08:32,525
What are we doing in a dentist's
office?
1410
01:08:33,109 --> 01:08:33,943
Think about it.
1411
01:08:33,943 --> 01:08:35,444
That's how they get you.
1412
01:08:35,444 --> 01:08:38,823
Everybody needs to get their teeth
cleaned.
1413
01:08:54,839 --> 01:08:55,631
Ron?
1414
01:09:03,222 --> 01:09:04,682
Yes, that's me.
1415
01:09:04,682 --> 01:09:05,933
Uhh-- Ron.
1416
01:09:55,107 --> 01:09:56,192
Arcturian Lifestyles.
1417
01:09:56,192 --> 01:09:57,902
This is Venus, how can I help you?
1418
01:10:18,088 --> 01:10:20,299
Have a seat.
1419
01:10:28,390 --> 01:10:30,517
Hello, benevolent leader.
1420
01:10:30,517 --> 01:10:32,645
You dare
bring an outsider in here, dipshit.
1421
01:10:33,145 --> 01:10:34,480
I just want to say that I don't.
1422
01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:35,397
I don't judge.
1423
01:10:35,397 --> 01:10:37,900
I don't believe in judging others
based on their personal views.
1424
01:10:38,817 --> 01:10:42,029
I actually, I used to have a shaved
head back when I swam
1425
01:10:42,321 --> 01:10:45,074
made me more, more aerodynamic.
1426
01:10:45,074 --> 01:10:47,618
This right here is my lawyer.
1427
01:10:47,910 --> 01:10:49,078
Your worst nightmare.
1428
01:10:50,871 --> 01:10:55,334
Hey, uh-- I'm-- His lawyer.
1429
01:10:56,335 --> 01:10:58,087
My name is
1430
01:10:58,545 --> 01:11:00,673
Ronald... McDonald...
1431
01:11:02,591 --> 01:11:03,425
son...
1432
01:11:03,884 --> 01:11:06,095
I mostly do
1433
01:11:06,345 --> 01:11:08,806
pro bono work downtown.
1434
01:11:10,099 --> 01:11:12,017
Just pretend he's Kim.
1435
01:11:21,068 --> 01:11:22,027
Alright, motherfucker.
1436
01:11:22,987 --> 01:11:26,115
I want you to listen,
and I want you to listen really good.
1437
01:11:27,032 --> 01:11:30,869
Your organization owes my client...
1438
01:11:30,911 --> 01:11:33,706
Upwards of 6 million dollars!
1439
01:11:34,707 --> 01:11:37,459
My client has suffered from anxiety.
1440
01:11:37,960 --> 01:11:41,046
Depression, erectile dysfunction!
1441
01:11:41,171 --> 01:11:43,173
I've got that last problem under control--
1442
01:11:43,173 --> 01:11:44,174
And I will not stop
1443
01:11:44,383 --> 01:11:47,511
until justice has been upheld
1444
01:11:47,511 --> 01:11:50,055
my bald friends!
1445
01:11:51,015 --> 01:11:55,060
Are you dentists familiar
with the iPhone audio recorder app?
1446
01:11:56,937 --> 01:11:58,480
Well, lucky for me, my
1447
01:11:58,480 --> 01:12:01,108
client was during your little routine
kidnapping.
1448
01:12:01,608 --> 01:12:03,944
You remember that, do you, Chuckles?
1449
01:12:03,944 --> 01:12:05,362
Because I do...
1450
01:12:05,362 --> 01:12:08,449
behold evidence A!
1451
01:12:16,623 --> 01:12:18,500
Can you just-- Just give it to me.
1452
01:12:18,876 --> 01:12:19,501
Can you just give it to me?
1453
01:12:20,753 --> 01:12:21,378
Relax.
1454
01:12:22,087 --> 01:12:23,922
BEHOLD EVIDENCE A!
1455
01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:29,094
No, no.
1456
01:12:29,094 --> 01:12:29,595
No, no, no.
1457
01:12:29,595 --> 01:12:32,097
Not the hair anything but the hair!
No!!!!!
1458
01:12:32,097 --> 01:12:34,933
goat,
goat, goat, goat, goat, goat, goat,
1459
01:12:35,100 --> 01:12:37,978
goat,
goat, goat, goat, goat, goat, goat,
1460
01:12:38,103 --> 01:12:42,566
goat, goat, goat, goat, goat,
goat, goat, goat, goat, goat, goat!
1461
01:12:42,566 --> 01:12:44,443
Silence! Arcturians!
1462
01:12:45,152 --> 01:12:47,279
Fuck this goat... on the floor!
1463
01:12:48,572 --> 01:12:49,031
Oh yeah!
1464
01:12:55,537 --> 01:12:56,705
Oh, and by the way,
1465
01:12:56,705 --> 01:12:59,416
that is not the only copy of that
recording.
1466
01:13:00,042 --> 01:13:03,087
I've got that shit on my iCloud.
1467
01:13:04,463 --> 01:13:08,175
$6,000.
1468
01:13:10,636 --> 01:13:13,013
Yeah, baby! Boom!
1469
01:13:13,013 --> 01:13:15,224
Take that to the bank dipshits!
1470
01:13:15,766 --> 01:13:18,352
For the record,
I didn't fuck that goat.
1471
01:13:18,769 --> 01:13:21,522
Oh, and Jack, please, don't
try to play matchmaker with Rachel.
1472
01:13:21,522 --> 01:13:22,856
She's engaged.
1473
01:13:22,856 --> 01:13:23,941
Not anymore.
1474
01:13:30,906 --> 01:13:33,242
It's like
the band's back together. Huh?
1475
01:13:37,121 --> 01:13:39,248
Hey, are you sure you invited her?
1476
01:13:40,332 --> 01:13:42,418
Yes, I'm sure. Relax.
1477
01:13:42,459 --> 01:13:43,252
Are you positive?
1478
01:13:44,002 --> 01:13:44,920
Trust me.
1479
01:13:45,421 --> 01:13:46,046
Hey!
1480
01:13:46,046 --> 01:13:47,923
Oh, yes.
1481
01:13:47,923 --> 01:13:49,007
Now that works.
1482
01:13:49,007 --> 01:13:51,009
That suits that suits you.
1483
01:13:51,009 --> 01:13:53,220
Speaking of bands, Jack's hair?
1484
01:13:53,220 --> 01:13:55,514
Fucking perfect. Look at it.
1485
01:13:55,514 --> 01:13:59,393
I just hope Bon Jovi has good news
because we couldn't find anywhere
1486
01:13:59,393 --> 01:14:00,185
that was hiring.
1487
01:14:00,185 --> 01:14:02,604
And we're saving up for a Kia.
1488
01:14:02,604 --> 01:14:04,815
That's a great vehicle.
1489
01:14:04,815 --> 01:14:05,524
Well, listen,
I got to rally the troops.
1490
01:14:05,524 --> 01:14:06,650
I'll talk more in a little bit, okay?
1491
01:14:06,650 --> 01:14:07,985
Alright.
1492
01:14:08,652 --> 01:14:09,820
Blondes way better.
1493
01:14:09,820 --> 01:14:10,904
Oh, yeah.
1494
01:14:12,906 --> 01:14:13,699
Hey.
1495
01:14:13,824 --> 01:14:14,741
Hey.
1496
01:14:14,741 --> 01:14:16,118
How are ya?
1497
01:14:16,118 --> 01:14:16,952
Great.
1498
01:14:16,952 --> 01:14:18,370
Thanks for coming.
1499
01:14:18,370 --> 01:14:21,665
Of course. Gotta support my Uncle, right?
1500
01:14:22,458 --> 01:14:23,250
Right.
1501
01:14:23,625 --> 01:14:26,462
Look, I'm sorry for everything.
1502
01:14:26,503 --> 01:14:28,422
No, no, don't be sorry.
1503
01:14:28,422 --> 01:14:30,799
Water under the bridge.
1504
01:14:30,883 --> 01:14:32,259
OK, everyone
1505
01:14:33,051 --> 01:14:35,137
welcome back, everybody.
1506
01:14:35,679 --> 01:14:38,432
I'd just like to say it's fantastic
to see you
1507
01:14:38,432 --> 01:14:39,850
all back in your uniform's again.
1508
01:14:39,850 --> 01:14:42,603
And I know that
we've had some bumps in the road.
1509
01:14:42,644 --> 01:14:46,523
We've come up with a three part
plan, Todd, hand out the binders.
1510
01:14:49,276 --> 01:14:51,487
Now, when I escaped,
1511
01:14:52,362 --> 01:14:55,449
I knew that I would have to face
the leader once more.
1512
01:14:55,532 --> 01:14:56,450
Escaped?
1513
01:14:56,450 --> 01:14:57,701
The leader?
1514
01:15:02,748 --> 01:15:03,290
That's right--
1515
01:15:03,290 --> 01:15:07,753
I was in a cult for 20 years,
1516
01:15:08,921 --> 01:15:10,631
and I'm not ashamed,
1517
01:15:10,923 --> 01:15:12,758
and I'm not hiding anymore.
1518
01:15:12,758 --> 01:15:15,135
In fact, I'm not only fighting back
1519
01:15:15,469 --> 01:15:19,306
but I'm taking those mind
sucking, alien loving parasites down.
1520
01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:25,896
I won't stop until I retrieve
the $5,994,000 that they still owe me.
1521
01:15:26,146 --> 01:15:28,190
They will be begging me for mercy.
1522
01:15:28,315 --> 01:15:29,816
Across the universe.
1523
01:15:29,816 --> 01:15:33,612
The name Jack Guy will cause fear
in the hearts of every Arcturian!
1524
01:15:36,573 --> 01:15:37,491
Yes-- Bobby.
1525
01:15:37,491 --> 01:15:40,494
So you want us to help
you take the cult down
1526
01:15:40,494 --> 01:15:43,330
to get your money back
to save this gym?
1527
01:15:44,248 --> 01:15:46,542
No, no, not at all.
I was just venting.
1528
01:15:46,959 --> 01:15:48,877
It's a really important
part of the healing process.
1529
01:15:48,877 --> 01:15:50,295
My therapist says it's vital.
1530
01:15:51,880 --> 01:15:54,675
I think what Jack is trying to say
is that
1531
01:15:55,300 --> 01:15:58,512
after my injury,
I started to play the victim in life,
1532
01:15:58,512 --> 01:16:03,016
and I was acting as if life robbed me
of something that I deserved.
1533
01:16:04,101 --> 01:16:05,227
And I quit
1534
01:16:05,811 --> 01:16:07,187
on myself.
1535
01:16:07,771 --> 01:16:10,190
But I'm tired of
sitting on the sideline.
1536
01:16:10,983 --> 01:16:14,069
I'm ready to get back in the game,
and I'm ready to play some ball.
1537
01:16:14,069 --> 01:16:16,989
And what I want to know
is, who wants to play some ball?
1538
01:16:18,073 --> 01:16:19,157
Bobby? Yes.
1539
01:16:19,157 --> 01:16:23,328
So you want us to join a basketball
league?
1540
01:16:25,414 --> 01:16:25,747
No.
1541
01:16:25,831 --> 01:16:26,164
No.
1542
01:16:27,165 --> 01:16:29,543
I think what Chris and Jack
1543
01:16:29,543 --> 01:16:33,130
are trying to say
is if we work as a team,
1544
01:16:33,922 --> 01:16:37,843
we could turn dumbbells business
around and save everyone's job.
1545
01:16:38,468 --> 01:16:41,179
Ohhh.
1546
01:16:41,179 --> 01:16:41,972
Isn’t that what we said?
1547
01:17:15,756 --> 01:17:16,965
Perfect.
1548
01:17:16,965 --> 01:17:17,966
Guys!
1549
01:20:22,984 --> 01:20:23,527
Hey.
1550
01:20:23,527 --> 01:20:24,110
Hi.
1551
01:20:24,402 --> 01:20:25,153
Wow. You look
1552
01:20:26,363 --> 01:20:27,489
beautiful.
1553
01:20:27,989 --> 01:20:29,241
Thank you.
1554
01:20:29,324 --> 01:20:31,284
Can I steal her for a minute?
1555
01:20:31,993 --> 01:20:33,328
Sure.
1556
01:20:33,662 --> 01:20:35,455
Thank you, Missy.
1557
01:20:36,998 --> 01:20:39,292
Hey. Any bats in the cave?
1558
01:20:40,252 --> 01:20:42,254
You're clear.
1559
01:20:42,254 --> 01:20:44,297
You know, I'm really glad you
and I teamed up Chris--
1560
01:20:44,297 --> 01:20:46,716
Holy Valkyrie on Blu ray.
Is that Tom Cruise?
1561
01:20:46,716 --> 01:20:50,679
Sometimes you just got to say,
what the fuck make your move.
1562
01:20:51,054 --> 01:20:54,015
Woo, woo!
1563
01:20:54,015 --> 01:20:56,393
No, actually, that is not Tom Cruise.
1564
01:20:56,393 --> 01:20:58,061
That is Tom Cruise.
1565
01:20:58,061 --> 01:21:00,397
The truth. It doesn't matter
1566
01:21:00,397 --> 01:21:02,607
perception is reality.
1567
01:21:04,276 --> 01:21:06,194
Help me help you.
1568
01:21:06,194 --> 01:21:07,153
Help me.
1569
01:21:07,153 --> 01:21:08,488
Help you help me.
1570
01:21:08,488 --> 01:21:10,448
Help you.
1571
01:21:11,199 --> 01:21:11,992
Guys.
1572
01:21:11,992 --> 01:21:14,244
A real life Hollywood producer
just gave me his card.
1573
01:21:14,452 --> 01:21:16,788
Said I had a dynamic
look and wants to make me a star.
1574
01:21:17,205 --> 01:21:18,290
Awesome.
1575
01:21:18,290 --> 01:21:19,708
Congrats buddy.
1576
01:21:19,708 --> 01:21:20,542
Talk to you soon.
1577
01:21:20,542 --> 01:21:23,086
He reminds me
of a young Macaulay Culkin.
1578
01:21:23,086 --> 01:21:26,923
OK, so I haven't told Dre, but,
we're having twins!
1579
01:21:26,923 --> 01:21:29,759
What?! Oh my God, congratulations!
1580
01:21:29,759 --> 01:21:31,011
Thank you so much I'm so excited.
1581
01:21:31,011 --> 01:21:33,722
You're gonna make the cutest mom.
1582
01:21:33,722 --> 01:21:36,725
It's kind of crazy to think that
I wanted to quit not even a month ago.
1583
01:21:37,058 --> 01:21:39,102
Yeah, we all want to quit at one time
or another.
1584
01:21:39,853 --> 01:21:42,188
Important thing is to hang in the game
because tomorrow
1585
01:21:42,188 --> 01:21:44,024
always bring another surprise.
1586
01:21:45,066 --> 01:21:46,985
What do you think about my wig?
1587
01:21:46,985 --> 01:21:49,696
It looks exactly like your real hair.
1588
01:21:49,779 --> 01:21:51,406
It's kind of weird.
1589
01:21:51,406 --> 01:21:53,617
Speaking of surprises,
that is for you.
1590
01:21:53,617 --> 01:21:54,576
What's this?
1591
01:21:54,743 --> 01:21:57,162
I was able to salvage the footage
from the reality show.
1592
01:21:57,495 --> 01:21:59,080
I edited it together,
1593
01:21:59,080 --> 01:22:02,125
added effects cool transitions,
graphics, the whole nine.
1594
01:22:02,709 --> 01:22:05,295
Wow. How'd you learn to do that?
1595
01:22:05,295 --> 01:22:07,088
I was an art major.
1596
01:22:07,213 --> 01:22:08,381
Very cool.
1597
01:22:10,383 --> 01:22:12,844
Did you know
we already have 42 new members.
1598
01:22:13,345 --> 01:22:15,055
Are any of them rich men?
1599
01:22:15,305 --> 01:22:16,431
Gizell, don't be a slut.
1600
01:22:20,185 --> 01:22:21,102
Well,
1601
01:22:21,227 --> 01:22:23,438
things are looking pretty good right
now, huh Todd?
1602
01:22:23,647 --> 01:22:24,314
Yeah.
1603
01:22:24,648 --> 01:22:26,858
You guys did a really good job
at this place.
1604
01:22:26,858 --> 01:22:29,235
My dad couldn't do this.
He said I suck.
1605
01:22:29,444 --> 01:22:30,987
He sucks.
1606
01:22:35,992 --> 01:22:39,162
I am sorry to interrupt, Buzz, but,
if I may cut in?
1607
01:22:39,579 --> 01:22:43,208
Well, I was just going to ask her
to marry me, but it wouldn't work out.
1608
01:22:43,458 --> 01:22:45,085
Be free.
1609
01:22:53,927 --> 01:22:54,886
Shall we?
1610
01:22:54,886 --> 01:22:56,346
I'm all yours.
1611
01:22:58,056 --> 01:23:02,602
Well, congratulations on a very,
very successful party.
1612
01:23:03,103 --> 01:23:05,522
You boys sure have come a long way.
1613
01:23:05,522 --> 01:23:06,398
Thank you.
1614
01:23:06,398 --> 01:23:08,233
Well,
we've been doing a lot of according.
1615
01:23:09,526 --> 01:23:10,986
According?
1616
01:23:11,236 --> 01:23:13,530
I believe it was Sigmund Freud
1617
01:23:13,530 --> 01:23:16,866
who said man should not strive
to eliminate his complexes.
1618
01:23:17,325 --> 01:23:22,372
But to get into accord with them for
they legitimately direct his conduct...
1619
01:23:22,455 --> 01:23:23,623
...in the world.
1620
01:23:24,749 --> 01:23:27,085
Wow. I am impressed.
1621
01:23:28,003 --> 01:23:28,837
You like that?
1622
01:23:28,837 --> 01:23:29,254
Yeah--
1623
01:23:29,254 --> 01:23:30,463
You didn't see that
one coming, did ya?
1624
01:23:30,463 --> 01:23:31,756
I did not.
1625
01:23:31,756 --> 01:23:33,091
I have you to thank.
1626
01:23:33,508 --> 01:23:34,300
For what?
1627
01:23:35,468 --> 01:23:36,094
For everything.
1628
01:23:38,263 --> 01:23:40,890
Are you getting emotional on me?
1629
01:23:41,975 --> 01:23:42,642
I'm sorry.
1630
01:23:42,642 --> 01:23:44,394
That's, that's lame, isn’t it?
1631
01:23:44,769 --> 01:23:46,688
Are you kidding me?
1632
01:23:47,564 --> 01:23:50,650
I don't know
one girl who wouldn't love a man
1633
01:23:51,234 --> 01:23:54,279
who's in touch with their feelings...
1634
01:23:55,488 --> 01:23:57,657
And I wanted to say...
1635
01:23:57,866 --> 01:23:58,950
Thank you.
1636
01:24:00,118 --> 01:24:01,953
For respecting my boundaries.
1637
01:24:03,246 --> 01:24:07,333
I love respecting your boundaries.
1638
01:24:16,092 --> 01:24:19,220
My pursuit of happiness wasn't
about finding somebody new to love.
1639
01:24:19,220 --> 01:24:21,056
It was about learning
how to love myself again.
1640
01:24:21,056 --> 01:24:23,683
We've all got our demons.
But with a good support system.
1641
01:24:23,683 --> 01:24:25,101
It's amazing what can happen.
1642
01:24:25,101 --> 01:24:31,524
Look who's got it
all on camera you adorable love birds. This is perfect.
1643
01:24:31,524 --> 01:24:32,233
Chris!
1644
01:24:32,233 --> 01:24:34,486
They’re playing your DVD
on the projector everyone loves it.
1645
01:24:34,486 --> 01:24:35,320
You gotta come check it out.
1646
01:24:36,613 --> 01:24:39,032
Sorry for C-blocking man.
1647
01:25:38,216 --> 01:25:38,842
Hey, Jack.
1648
01:25:39,425 --> 01:25:40,718
Hey, the Maloofs!
1649
01:25:40,718 --> 01:25:42,679
You guys made it. Gavin, Joe,
how are you guys doing?
1650
01:25:43,304 --> 01:25:43,930
Fine.
1651
01:25:44,139 --> 01:25:46,391
Fabio told us you're having a party.
1652
01:25:46,391 --> 01:25:48,226
I'm glad you guys can make
you have some fun?
1653
01:25:48,226 --> 01:25:50,770
Yeah, we're having fun--
Unfortunately, we're in a big rush.
1654
01:25:50,895 --> 01:25:52,897
Our helicopters picking us up in five.
1655
01:25:53,106 --> 01:25:54,691
We came here to pitch something.
1656
01:25:54,691 --> 01:25:56,651
We're branching out of Vegas, now.
1657
01:25:56,651 --> 01:25:58,695
We're producing television content,
1658
01:25:58,736 --> 01:26:00,321
and we were looking at the footage
over here
1659
01:26:00,321 --> 01:26:01,156
and thought that the--
1660
01:26:01,156 --> 01:26:02,365
The premise rocks.
1661
01:26:02,740 --> 01:26:03,867
We love the name.
1662
01:26:03,867 --> 01:26:06,536
Could be a reality show.
Or I'm thinking of even franchising
1663
01:26:07,704 --> 01:26:09,455
it. Let's talk more
on Monday we'll discuss the details.
1664
01:26:09,455 --> 01:26:11,916
Abso-Maloofley!
1665
01:26:11,916 --> 01:26:13,168
All right. OK.
1666
01:26:13,168 --> 01:26:13,668
OK, guys.
1667
01:26:13,668 --> 01:26:14,294
Alright, Jack.
1668
01:26:14,294 --> 01:26:16,212
Sorry you got to leave.
1669
01:26:16,212 --> 01:26:18,089
So do I believe in second chances?
1670
01:26:18,089 --> 01:26:20,175
Hell,
I believe in third and fourth chances.
1671
01:26:20,175 --> 01:26:23,928
Jack Guy credited my video
with landing the franchise deal,
1672
01:26:24,053 --> 01:26:27,765
so he gave me equity part
ownership of Dumbbells, the brand.
1673
01:26:28,266 --> 01:26:32,437
In life, we get multiple chances,
so don't beat yourself up
1674
01:26:32,812 --> 01:26:36,065
if a career didn't work out or
if you were in a failed relationship,
1675
01:26:36,482 --> 01:26:39,110
or if you were in a cult
that believed in the alien takeover.
1676
01:26:39,277 --> 01:26:41,988
The point is, perception is reality,
1677
01:26:42,238 --> 01:26:44,407
and it's never too late
to reinvent yourself.
1678
01:26:45,950 --> 01:26:48,119
And Jack Guy was right.
1679
01:26:48,119 --> 01:26:50,246
Sometimes you do need to lose
everything you think
1680
01:26:50,288 --> 01:26:53,708
you want to discover who
it is that you actually are.
1681
01:26:55,710 --> 01:26:57,378
And I must admit,
1682
01:26:57,378 --> 01:26:59,505
it feels really good to say
1683
01:27:00,548 --> 01:27:02,842
this is my life.
1684
01:27:03,968 --> 01:27:05,970
And even more importantly...
1685
01:27:07,055 --> 01:27:08,556
NO MOHAWK!
107587
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
