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1
00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:15,025
Hey. Hey!
2
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,159
Look who's here. Hiya, Leonard.
3
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,816
Hi, Uncle Oscar.
4
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:20,130
What've you got in the box?
Show him what you've got in the box.
5
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:21,465
A frog. A frog?!
6
00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:23,033
Yeah, he's got a frog
there. What's his name?
7
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:24,067
His name is Max. Max.
8
00:00:24,091 --> 00:00:25,135
Max? Why'd you name him Max?
9
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:26,203
I named him. Yeah. Why?
10
00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,059
Because he's one in a million.
11
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:30,012
Maximillion. Get it?
12
00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:31,896
What kind of frog is he?
13
00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:34,032
He's a jumper.
He's a jumper, yeah.
14
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:35,512
Can he answer one question?
15
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,846
Tell him, tell him...
See, he jumps.
16
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:37,914
Oh, he's a frisky one.
17
00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:39,282
Yeah, what are you
gonna do with him?
18
00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:40,905
I'm entering him in
a contest tomorrow.
19
00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:43,086
He's entering him in the contest
tomorrow. Just a minute... what?
20
00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:44,304
I'm entering him in
the finals tomorrow.
21
00:00:44,328 --> 00:00:45,438
Finals, frog jumping
contest tomorrow.
22
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,040
Is he good? He's good, yeah.
23
00:00:47,064 --> 00:00:48,363
Tell him. Tell him.
24
00:00:48,398 --> 00:00:50,677
Yeah, He beat every frog
on the East Side. He did?
25
00:00:50,701 --> 00:00:52,367
By two jumps. By two jumps.
26
00:00:52,402 --> 00:00:55,081
We beat Leaping Lazzeri in the
semifinals this afternoon. Is that a fact?
27
00:00:55,105 --> 00:00:56,683
Go wash your
hands. I don't want to.
28
00:00:56,707 --> 00:00:58,707
Put the frog in the box
and wash your hands
29
00:00:58,742 --> 00:00:59,808
and change your clothes.
30
00:00:59,844 --> 00:01:01,543
Come on, go, go.
31
00:01:01,578 --> 00:01:03,423
Go ahead, Leonard.
I'll see you later.
32
00:01:03,447 --> 00:01:04,813
We're going out to dinner.
33
00:01:04,849 --> 00:01:05,959
That's terrific.
34
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:08,543
A father, son and frog dinner.
35
00:01:09,887 --> 00:01:11,753
We're leaving Max here.
36
00:01:11,788 --> 00:01:13,766
Max is going to
eat in. Oh. All right.
37
00:01:13,790 --> 00:01:15,068
Will you watch
him while we're out?
38
00:01:15,092 --> 00:01:16,236
For a little while.
39
00:01:16,260 --> 00:01:17,437
I've got a date
with Sylvia later.
40
00:01:17,461 --> 00:01:18,581
We won't be long.
41
00:01:19,897 --> 00:01:21,696
Felix, what's the
matter? Nothing.
42
00:01:21,732 --> 00:01:23,276
Come on, you can't fool me.
43
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,245
Usually when you're with
Leonard you're up, you're happy.
44
00:01:25,269 --> 00:01:26,679
Now you seem depressed.
What's the matter?
45
00:01:26,703 --> 00:01:29,437
I was politely invited
46
00:01:29,473 --> 00:01:31,551
not to come to the frog
jumping contest tomorrow.
47
00:01:31,575 --> 00:01:33,520
You mean, one of the officials
asked you to stay away?
48
00:01:33,544 --> 00:01:35,260
Guess again.
49
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:36,661
Your son.
50
00:01:36,696 --> 00:01:37,846
Yeah. Why?
51
00:01:37,881 --> 00:01:39,180
Well, he says I butt in.
52
00:01:39,216 --> 00:01:41,361
He says I try to run
everything, I don't know...
53
00:01:41,385 --> 00:01:43,430
He says... Oh, so you'll
miss a frog jumping contest,
54
00:01:43,454 --> 00:01:44,887
That's not it!
55
00:01:44,922 --> 00:01:48,523
It's that he's excluding
me from his entire life.
56
00:01:48,558 --> 00:01:50,392
I only see him weekends.
57
00:01:50,427 --> 00:01:52,277
He doesn't even like me.
58
00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:53,278
Oh, that's silly.
59
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:54,279
No, no, it's not.
60
00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:55,424
Come on.
61
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,783
He thinks more of that
frog than he does of me.
62
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,879
So do I, and I just met him.
63
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:38,690
♪ ♪
64
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:12,758
♪ ♪
65
00:03:23,987 --> 00:03:27,889
The Odd Couple was filmed
in front of a live audience.
66
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:40,335
Hi, Felix. Hi, Leonard.
67
00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:42,304
Hey, it's time you to go to bed.
68
00:03:42,339 --> 00:03:43,379
You're tired.
69
00:03:43,406 --> 00:03:44,539
I'm not tired, Dad.
70
00:03:44,574 --> 00:03:46,352
You're not tired.
You can't even walk.
71
00:03:46,376 --> 00:03:47,675
Tomorrow's a big day.
72
00:03:47,711 --> 00:03:49,022
Say good night to Uncle Oscar.
73
00:03:49,046 --> 00:03:50,012
Good night, Uncle Oscar.
74
00:03:50,047 --> 00:03:51,074
Good night, Leonard.
75
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:53,598
Night, Dad.
76
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:54,866
Sleep well.
77
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,334
Okay, good night.
78
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,014
Don't go in Uncle Oscar's room.
79
00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,958
You'll have
nightmares all night.
80
00:04:04,061 --> 00:04:06,161
I'm a fun dad, you know that.
81
00:04:06,196 --> 00:04:09,331
You're in a better
mood, aren't you?
82
00:04:09,366 --> 00:04:11,177
Things are looking up. Yeah?
83
00:04:11,201 --> 00:04:13,267
We had a very nice
time. We really did.
84
00:04:13,303 --> 00:04:14,781
Very nice. We had a
wonderful dinner. Yeah?
85
00:04:14,805 --> 00:04:16,103
You would have been proud of me.
86
00:04:16,139 --> 00:04:17,122
I restrained myself.
87
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:18,556
I didn't interfere.
88
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,403
I let him do anything he
wanted to... really, really.
89
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,355
I let him go to the men's
room all by himself.
90
00:04:22,379 --> 00:04:23,879
No kidding. I don't believe it.
91
00:04:23,914 --> 00:04:25,046
I mean it. I mean it.
92
00:04:25,082 --> 00:04:26,359
I let him order
anything he wanted.
93
00:04:26,383 --> 00:04:28,516
I didn't say one word.
94
00:04:28,551 --> 00:04:30,902
He had Boston cream
pie for appetizers.
95
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,615
He's a cute kid...
And you were terrific.
96
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:33,983
Thanks. What's the matter?
97
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,902
You've got the lid
off the frog's box.
98
00:04:35,926 --> 00:04:37,436
Oh, yeah, I gave him
some pizza before.
99
00:04:37,460 --> 00:04:39,155
I guess I forgot
to put it back on.
100
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:42,364
You gave a frog pizza?
101
00:04:42,399 --> 00:04:43,643
He loved it.
102
00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:45,110
Anyway, his name's
Lassere, isn't it?
103
00:04:45,134 --> 00:04:47,179
That's the other frog... the
one he beat; the runner-up.
104
00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:49,315
His name is Max,
one in a million, Maxi...
105
00:04:49,339 --> 00:04:51,684
What's the difference?
He liked it. He's not in here.
106
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:52,985
What do you mean, not...?
107
00:04:53,009 --> 00:04:54,554
Where is he? I don't know.
108
00:04:54,578 --> 00:04:55,994
You fink!
109
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,580
I can't trust you with anything.
110
00:04:58,615 --> 00:05:00,348
He's just a frog.
111
00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:02,467
Just a frog?! Just a frog?!
112
00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:05,820
That's like saying
Sabu is just an actor.
113
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:08,985
I'm sorry.
114
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,892
Well, you see how upset I am?
115
00:05:10,927 --> 00:05:12,344
I'm sorry, Felix.
116
00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:14,679
Talk is cheap, Mister.
117
00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:16,359
Leonard's gonna
blame this on me.
118
00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:20,284
Why would he do that? Because
everybody blames everything on me.
119
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,387
My father blamed
me for the Depression.
120
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:23,438
Don't laugh.
121
00:05:23,473 --> 00:05:25,773
It's serious.
122
00:05:25,809 --> 00:05:27,743
But you're acting silly.
123
00:05:27,778 --> 00:05:29,845
I'm not silly. Now,
where's the frog?
124
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,825
I don't know. He's
around here somewhere.
125
00:05:31,849 --> 00:05:32,859
You just... I'll show you.
126
00:05:32,883 --> 00:05:33,993
Come on, Max.
127
00:05:35,219 --> 00:05:36,930
Come on, Max, come
on, Max, where are you?
128
00:05:36,954 --> 00:05:38,019
Are you calling a dog?
129
00:05:38,055 --> 00:05:39,265
You don't call a frog like that.
130
00:05:39,289 --> 00:05:41,757
How do you call a frog?
131
00:05:41,792 --> 00:05:45,510
Ribbet... ribbet...
132
00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:48,113
Ribbet. Ribbet, ribbet.
133
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:49,464
Ribbet, ribbet.
134
00:05:49,499 --> 00:05:53,234
Do you have to say
everything I say?
135
00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,281
We're looking for the same frog.
136
00:05:56,340 --> 00:05:57,340
Come in.
137
00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:00,302
Hi, Oscar. Hi, Felix,
138
00:06:00,326 --> 00:06:01,846
Hi, Murray. Hi, Murray.
139
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,744
Hey, boys, I found it.
140
00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:21,079
Found what?
141
00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:23,748
That's a half a dollar.
Finders keepers.
142
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:25,650
We're looking for a frog.
143
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:26,751
A frog?
144
00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:28,719
Oscar lost my son's frog.
145
00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:30,133
Well, maybe
he's not really lost.
146
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:33,291
Maybe he just changed
into a handsome prince.
147
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,742
How long has the
frog been missing?
148
00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:40,098
Just a little while.
149
00:06:40,134 --> 00:06:41,115
I left him with Oscar.
150
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,534
Last seen with
Oscar Madison, eh?
151
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:47,472
Can you describe this frog?
152
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:50,542
Oh, he's a beautiful
frog, Murray, really.
153
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,043
He's emerald green.
154
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,145
He's got the most
amazing blue eyes.
155
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:56,013
He's about two inches tall.
156
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:58,083
Should be easy
to spot in a lineup.
157
00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,312
What are you doing, Murray?
158
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,436
I'm a policeman, Oscar.
159
00:07:01,471 --> 00:07:03,071
I believe in going by the book.
160
00:07:03,106 --> 00:07:04,906
Now just let me take
charge here, okay?
161
00:07:04,942 --> 00:07:06,219
Go ahead. All right.
162
00:07:06,243 --> 00:07:08,042
Where was the frog last?
163
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,689
He was over there on the TV set.
164
00:07:09,713 --> 00:07:11,846
On the TV set, huh?
165
00:07:11,881 --> 00:07:13,281
Okay. In the box?
166
00:07:13,317 --> 00:07:14,327
Yes. Yes.
167
00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:15,584
In the box.
168
00:07:15,619 --> 00:07:18,903
Now, how far can this frog jump?
169
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,188
About six feet.
170
00:07:20,224 --> 00:07:21,939
Six feet?
171
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:29,975
One... two... three... four...
172
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,357
He went out like a champ.
173
00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:44,841
Felix, now don't fall apart.
174
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:46,998
You know what
went out that window?
175
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:49,100
My entire relationship
with my son.
176
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:51,197
Oh, come on, will you?
You're exaggerating.
177
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:54,122
Every weekend
is a total disaster.
178
00:07:54,157 --> 00:07:55,790
I don't know.
179
00:07:55,826 --> 00:07:58,059
Last weekend, I
took him to the circus.
180
00:07:58,095 --> 00:08:02,063
A zebra misbehaved on his foot.
181
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:05,628
Do you think he's gonna
remember this weekend
182
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,118
for the Boston cream pie?
183
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,749
No, this is the weekend
his father murdered his frog.
184
00:08:09,773 --> 00:08:12,240
I'm telling you everything's
gonna be all right.
185
00:08:12,276 --> 00:08:15,243
Sitting there, being depressed
is not going to help anything.
186
00:08:15,279 --> 00:08:16,556
You know what we'll do?
187
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:17,923
We'll go out, we'll
get him another frog.
188
00:08:17,947 --> 00:08:19,492
They all look alike. He
won't know the difference.
189
00:08:19,516 --> 00:08:20,649
Counterfeiter.
190
00:08:20,684 --> 00:08:22,217
You can't fool that
kid! He's an Unger.
191
00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:24,030
All right, we'll
tell him the truth.
192
00:08:24,054 --> 00:08:25,464
We'll tell him we lost the frog.
193
00:08:25,488 --> 00:08:26,516
We'll give him another one.
194
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,389
Where are we gonna
get another frog?
195
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:29,903
We'll find a pet
store or something.
196
00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,004
Come on, let's hurry up.
197
00:08:31,028 --> 00:08:32,605
It's late. We'll try, come on.
198
00:08:32,629 --> 00:08:34,740
What about your date? Oh,
I'll call her later, Come on.
199
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,175
Murray, will you
stay with Leonard?
200
00:08:36,199 --> 00:08:37,399
Just for a little while.
201
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:39,334
I've got to go on a
special assignment later.
202
00:08:39,369 --> 00:08:40,579
Now, wait a minute, now look...
203
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:42,081
Maybe he didn't
jump out the window.
204
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,017
You go around and
call around a little bit.
205
00:08:44,041 --> 00:08:45,952
His name is, what was
that... Lassky... No, no.
206
00:08:45,976 --> 00:08:47,008
Lazzari.
207
00:08:47,044 --> 00:08:48,643
His name is Max.
208
00:08:48,678 --> 00:08:50,556
Maximillion... one
in a million Max.
209
00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:53,748
Max... Max... Take
any frog that answers.
210
00:09:07,331 --> 00:09:09,164
What's the matter?
211
00:09:09,199 --> 00:09:12,267
They must have
a flamingo in here.
212
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:13,779
I'm very allergic to flamingos.
213
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,149
Have you got any
allergy pills with you?
214
00:09:16,173 --> 00:09:17,638
No, I've got my inhalator.
215
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:23,744
Kill all the animals,
but don't hurt me.
216
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,080
It's not a stick-up.
217
00:09:25,115 --> 00:09:26,592
He's allergic to the flamingos.
218
00:09:26,616 --> 00:09:28,483
Makes my nose itch.
219
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,298
Hi, I'm Buck. What
can I do for you?
220
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,139
We're looking for
something in a frog.
221
00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:39,055
Should be young,
athletic, a good jumper.
222
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,123
We'll go as high as
a buck and a quarter.
223
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:42,997
No, no, no, money is no object.
224
00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:47,935
Well, then, if money's
no object, uh...
225
00:09:47,970 --> 00:09:49,503
how about buying the store?
226
00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:54,759
No, we just... we
just want a frog.
227
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:57,545
Well, I've only got
one frog, it's true.
228
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,993
Only got one frog
in the whole store?
229
00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:01,260
Mm-hmm. I don't
generally carry frogs.
230
00:10:01,284 --> 00:10:03,518
If you want a frog,
you go out in the lake.
231
00:10:03,553 --> 00:10:04,530
I only carry pedigrees.
232
00:10:04,554 --> 00:10:05,597
Well, then we'll
take a pedigree.
233
00:10:05,621 --> 00:10:06,916
Show us what
you've got, will you?
234
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:11,643
I've got a Y.S.F...
Yugoslavian swamp frog.
235
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:12,911
Real clean.
236
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:13,961
One previous owner.
237
00:10:17,167 --> 00:10:19,633
The, uh... the Y.S.F...
238
00:10:19,669 --> 00:10:21,602
The Yugoslavian swamp frog...
239
00:10:21,637 --> 00:10:23,071
He, uh... is he a good jumper?
240
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,223
He got out of
Yugoslavia, didn't he?
241
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:29,405
Nice-looking frog. Yeah.
242
00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:30,523
Why doesn't he move?
243
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,280
He looks bored.
244
00:10:32,315 --> 00:10:34,875
Nobody likes a blasé frog.
245
00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:38,303
Looks depressed.
246
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:39,532
Something been
bothering him lately?
247
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:45,160
The usual: inflation,
Watergate, Mideast...
248
00:10:45,195 --> 00:10:47,295
Look, I'm getting ready
to close, you know.
249
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:49,525
Is there some sort
of warranty on a frog?
250
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,060
You're not buying
a television set here.
251
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,046
Can I bring him
back if he isn't right?
252
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:54,847
I guess so. How
do I bring him back?
253
00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:57,111
Just let him out the door.
He'll hop in a cab, eh?
254
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:00,920
I don't need sarcasm.
255
00:11:00,944 --> 00:11:04,612
I don't need the
froggy back, either.
256
00:11:05,816 --> 00:11:06,893
Leonard hear anything?
257
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:08,349
No, he's sleeping like a log.
258
00:11:08,384 --> 00:11:10,184
How are you doing
with Dubrovnik here?
259
00:11:10,219 --> 00:11:12,364
Nothing. Nothing.
260
00:11:12,388 --> 00:11:13,555
Maybe he's sick.
261
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,423
Feel his forehead.
262
00:11:15,459 --> 00:11:18,860
He's not sick... he's
just not very intelligent.
263
00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:20,161
Jump.
264
00:11:20,196 --> 00:11:21,495
Jump.
265
00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:23,948
You're the one that's
not very intelligent.
266
00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:25,883
"Jump, jump."
267
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,718
He's a Yugoslavian frog.
268
00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:28,994
He doesn't understand English.
269
00:11:33,810 --> 00:11:35,755
How do you say
jump in Yugoslavian?
270
00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:38,829
"Jumka."
271
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:42,132
Jumka!
272
00:11:42,168 --> 00:11:44,134
Come on watch me... jumka!
273
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:45,470
Don't laugh.
274
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:47,004
Jumka.
275
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:48,105
Jumka.
276
00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:49,940
Jumka.
277
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:51,420
He won't do it 'cause
you're laughing.
278
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:54,245
'Cause you look
so silly. No, it's him.
279
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,580
We've got to psych him out.
280
00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:56,826
How do we do that?
281
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,750
Well, you see, he knows
that we're watching him.
282
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:00,752
They all love attention.
We'll ignore him.
283
00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:02,953
Oh, you mean act casual? Yeah.
284
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:08,726
Hi, Dubrovnik, how you doing?
285
00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:12,630
Doing anything?
286
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:13,898
Nope.
287
00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:15,199
But I am.
288
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:16,746
I'm making a fool out of myself
289
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:19,136
trying to act nonchalant
in front of a frog.
290
00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:20,850
It's the laziest
frog I ever saw.
291
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:23,434
He probably sends out for flies.
292
00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:26,355
We've got to get another frog.
293
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:27,412
What?
294
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:28,691
We've got to get another frog!
295
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:30,659
How are we going to
do that? We have to go...
296
00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:31,794
All the pet stores are closed.
297
00:12:31,818 --> 00:12:33,563
We have to go to the
lake in Central Park.
298
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:35,831
It's our only hope. Felix, you
think I'm going to break a date
299
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,567
with a girl who has
been waiting for two hours
300
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,139
to go to Central
Park to catch a frog?
301
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:41,309
A swell guy would.
302
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,927
Yeah, well, I'm not a swell guy.
303
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:44,240
What other choice have we got?
304
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,097
I'll tell you. Tell
Leonard the truth.
305
00:12:46,132 --> 00:12:48,766
Tell the little boy
his frog is dead?
306
00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:50,501
Yes. Break his heart?
307
00:12:50,536 --> 00:12:51,602
He'll understand.
308
00:12:51,637 --> 00:12:53,037
He's a bigger
kid than you think.
309
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:54,317
That's the trouble
with parents today.
310
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:55,751
They're not straightforward
with their children.
311
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,320
Dr. Spock, go. Go, you tell him.
312
00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:58,671
Me? I give you permission, yeah.
313
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,094
All right, I will tell him.
314
00:13:00,129 --> 00:13:01,563
You'll see, he'll understand.
315
00:13:01,598 --> 00:13:03,676
It's better than going
to a lake in Central Park.
316
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:04,700
You'll see.
317
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:14,692
Leonard? Leonard?
318
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:16,127
Oh, hi, Uncle Oscar.
319
00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:17,173
Hi, Leonard. Listen, I'm sorry
320
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,607
to wake you up, but I'm gonna...
321
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,409
Gee, I don't feel like
playing cards right now.
322
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:23,045
Oh no, no, no, I didn't wake
you up to play cards this time.
323
00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:25,347
And I'm gonna pay you back
the money I owe you, too.
324
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:26,437
Then what's the matter?
325
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:29,018
Well, I want to talk
to you about Max.
326
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:30,641
He's a great frog, isn't he?
327
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:31,954
Oh, he's one in a million.
328
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:32,944
You kidding?
329
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,073
I can't wait until tomorrow.
330
00:13:34,097 --> 00:13:36,664
I've never won a
contest in my life.
331
00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:39,000
We would've won the Little
League pennant last year,
332
00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:41,135
except I struck out
with the bases loaded.
333
00:13:41,170 --> 00:13:43,130
They called me
"Leonard the Loser."
334
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,440
Oh, boy.
335
00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,792
What'd you want
to say about Max?
336
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,204
Oh, just... Did you know
337
00:13:49,228 --> 00:13:51,039
I'm writing a series of articles
338
00:13:51,063 --> 00:13:52,497
on amphibian athletes?
339
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,009
I'm gonna start with Mark Spitz
340
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:55,478
and work my way up to Max.
341
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,134
Really? Thanks, Uncle Oscar.
342
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:59,414
Okay, listen, your Aunt
Miriam will look in on you
343
00:13:59,438 --> 00:14:00,449
once in a while.
344
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:02,084
Your father and
I have to go out.
345
00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:03,108
Where are you going?
346
00:14:03,142 --> 00:14:06,343
I'm going to go jump in a lake.
347
00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:09,146
I'm a fun uncle.
348
00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:10,192
Good night, winner.
349
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:11,549
Good night.
350
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:35,439
Felix, you've been folding
your cuffs for ten minutes now.
351
00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:37,052
Get into this lake with me!
352
00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:38,809
I don't want to ruin the crease.
353
00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:41,590
You get into this lake with
me right now or I'm going home!
354
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:42,713
All right.
355
00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:44,782
I don't know why you
can't shoo the frogs
356
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:46,617
over to me nicely,
and I'll catch them.
357
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,753
Ugh!
358
00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:53,558
Ugh!
359
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:54,959
What's the matter?
360
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:58,612
Ooh! Ooh, the mud
on the bottom here.
361
00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:01,749
What did you expect, carpeting?
362
00:15:01,784 --> 00:15:04,785
But it's such ooze and slime.
363
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:07,755
Feels like I'm walking
on ripe bananas.
364
00:15:07,790 --> 00:15:08,967
When did you do that?
365
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,090
It was a fraternity stunt.
366
00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:11,708
I don't want to talk about it.
367
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:15,613
It's your idea and I
think it's a stupid one.
368
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,048
It's a good idea.
369
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,784
Now empty the
Yugoslavian frog in here,
370
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,185
and he'll attract
the other frogs.
371
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:22,453
Come on. Come on.
372
00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:24,455
Here we go. Here we go.
373
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:25,567
Here we go... ribbet, ribbet.
374
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:26,602
Nobody's gonna come to him.
375
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,904
Now just stick your
hand in the water
376
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,606
and see if you can find a frog.
377
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,096
Do I have to touch them?
378
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:35,133
Not unless you can
catch them with your teeth.
379
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:36,311
What is it with you?
380
00:15:36,335 --> 00:15:37,479
Didn't you train Max?
381
00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:39,370
Yes, but I knew something
about his background.
382
00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:42,206
He wasn't wallowing
in mud like this.
383
00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:44,809
Ribbet, ribbet.
384
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:47,311
I'm going to have
to disinfect my feet
385
00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:49,814
before I put my shoes
and socks back on.
386
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:51,315
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
387
00:15:53,570 --> 00:15:55,069
Where are your shoes and socks?
388
00:15:55,104 --> 00:15:56,571
I'm wearing them.
389
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,498
Ribbet... Hey, I
found something.
390
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:08,666
A frog? A frog?
391
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:12,403
A sombrero!
392
00:16:12,438 --> 00:16:14,405
Huh. Wonder how it got here.
393
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:18,142
Maybe this is where the
SS Acapulco went down.
394
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,845
Come on, cut the
comedy, will you? It's late.
395
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,580
Ribbet, ribbet.
396
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:24,581
I don't believe it.
397
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:26,150
Ribbet, ribbet.
398
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:29,198
I'm a grown man, I'm
standing in mud up to my knees,
399
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:32,690
surrounded by old
Yiddish newspapers...
400
00:16:35,311 --> 00:16:39,380
half an orange peel,
and you're imitating a frog.
401
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:40,547
Ribbet, ribbet.
402
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,962
I wish I had felt this
way 20 years ago.
403
00:16:42,986 --> 00:16:46,053
I coulda gotten out of the Army.
404
00:16:49,058 --> 00:16:53,327
Just say to yourself, "Nothing
else can happen tonight."
405
00:16:53,362 --> 00:16:54,896
Ribbet.
406
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:56,730
Here comes a girl.
407
00:16:56,766 --> 00:17:00,579
That is the ugliest girl
I ever saw in my life.
408
00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:03,237
Shh! She can hear you.
409
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:16,334
Hi, fellas.
410
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:20,437
I think it's a lady
of the evening.
411
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:23,841
Sure. She'd be afraid to
show that face in the afternoon.
412
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:27,361
Hey, guys, it's me, Murray.
413
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:28,813
Murray?
414
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:29,814
Our Murray?
415
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:31,749
In the flesh.
416
00:17:31,785 --> 00:17:33,718
This is your special assignment?
417
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:36,565
Yeah. We're trying to catch
some of your more shady types.
418
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,056
And you're the bait?
419
00:17:41,076 --> 00:17:44,111
This time of night, the muggers
don't get a great selection.
420
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:49,950
It's either me or Kowalski,
and he's really let himself go.
421
00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:51,318
What are you guys doing?
422
00:17:51,354 --> 00:17:52,820
We're looking for frogs.
423
00:17:52,856 --> 00:17:54,266
You won't find
any frogs in there.
424
00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:56,135
The kids cleaned
it all out last week
425
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:58,659
for the big contest tomorrow.
426
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:11,233
We tried, Felix. We tried.
427
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:14,992
Even the Waltons couldn't
do more for their kid.
428
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:19,196
Wipe your feet.
429
00:18:19,231 --> 00:18:21,499
Oh, look at the way he wipes.
430
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:24,079
I'm sorry. I didn't... feet...
431
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:28,238
Oh, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard,
432
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:31,642
I have no words
to ease thy pain.
433
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:36,414
Don't kid around
now, Oscar, please.
434
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:37,726
I didn't do anything.
435
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:41,552
Oscar, I beg you, I'm
not in the mood for it now.
436
00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:46,457
I thought you... Look at this!
437
00:18:46,492 --> 00:18:49,493
Oh, you typed on him.
438
00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:52,396
He didn't jump
toward the window,
439
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:54,376
he jumped here
in the typewriter.
440
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,800
Look at him.
441
00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:56,801
Poor little fellow.
442
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,652
Oh, his leg is hurt.
443
00:18:58,687 --> 00:19:01,988
Oh! Oh, poor little boy.
444
00:19:02,024 --> 00:19:03,034
He's limping.
445
00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:04,825
Yes, he's hungry.
446
00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:06,493
Get him something to eat.
447
00:19:06,529 --> 00:19:07,539
What's a frog eat?
448
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,663
Flies, of course.
449
00:19:09,699 --> 00:19:12,233
Where am I going to
get a fly this time of night?
450
00:19:12,268 --> 00:19:13,701
In your room! Go!
451
00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:21,876
What? What do you want?
452
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:23,855
It's an emergency. Please.
453
00:19:23,879 --> 00:19:25,591
It's a crisis.
454
00:19:25,615 --> 00:19:26,625
It's a personal thing.
455
00:19:26,649 --> 00:19:28,248
Will you help us, please?
456
00:19:28,284 --> 00:19:30,195
All right, all right,
all right, all right.
457
00:19:30,219 --> 00:19:31,618
All right.
458
00:19:31,654 --> 00:19:33,470
This is a real emergency.
459
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:34,638
We're sorry.
460
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,574
Our frog is sick.
461
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,558
Oh, the frog freaks.
462
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:40,761
That's an emergency?
463
00:19:42,731 --> 00:19:46,300
My wife ran off with
a flea collar salesman.
464
00:19:46,335 --> 00:19:48,435
Did I come over and wake you up?
465
00:19:48,471 --> 00:19:50,582
My little son is going
to be heartbroken
466
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:52,951
if the, if the frog doesn't
jump in the big contest.
467
00:19:52,975 --> 00:19:54,636
Just take a look
at him, will you?
468
00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:56,710
All right, I'll
look at the frog.
469
00:19:56,745 --> 00:20:00,046
Yeah, this is not the
Yugoslavian frog we bought.
470
00:20:00,082 --> 00:20:01,481
That's an American frog.
471
00:20:01,517 --> 00:20:05,302
An American frog?
You bet I'll fix him.
472
00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:10,135
Ah... What do you
see? Is he all right?
473
00:20:10,159 --> 00:20:11,358
Well, here's your trouble.
474
00:20:11,393 --> 00:20:13,694
You know he's got
a letter E on his leg?
475
00:20:13,729 --> 00:20:14,695
Yeah, we know that.
476
00:20:14,730 --> 00:20:16,024
He got caught in a typewriter.
477
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:19,616
Gee, if you'd hit the W
it could have killed him.
478
00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:21,613
You know I almost did hit the W?
479
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:23,270
Worse yet,
480
00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:25,939
if you'd hit him with the back
space, he'd never have babies.
481
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:28,325
Is he going to be all right?
482
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,105
Yeah, yeah, he's
gonna live a long life,
483
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:31,845
but his jumping days are over.
484
00:20:31,881 --> 00:20:33,697
Oh, no! Come on! You're a pro!
485
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,532
You can do something for him!
486
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,568
Well, you can try
a little massage,
487
00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:40,571
a little heat, maybe
a tranquilizer, but...
488
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:41,684
That will help him?
489
00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:43,540
Well, no, it'll help you.
490
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,743
No!
491
00:20:45,778 --> 00:20:47,544
They didn't give
up on Black Beauty!
492
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:48,857
They didn't give up on Bambi!
493
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:50,092
They didn't give up on Flicka!
494
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,148
What do you know?
495
00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:53,263
Don't yell at me in
front of the animals.
496
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:56,670
Get out of here before
I call a police dog!
497
00:20:56,705 --> 00:20:59,590
People like you
don't belong in pets.
498
00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:01,458
At least I never typed on one!
499
00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:07,230
Thanks for nothing,
Mr. Flamingo-seller!
500
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:11,602
Well, Morris, there certainly
are some cuckoos in this town.
501
00:21:19,328 --> 00:21:21,061
Okay, here's some more aspirin.
502
00:21:21,096 --> 00:21:22,529
You're going to make it, boy.
503
00:21:22,565 --> 00:21:23,697
You're going to make it.
504
00:21:23,733 --> 00:21:24,743
How's he look?
505
00:21:24,767 --> 00:21:25,733
He's coming along.
506
00:21:25,768 --> 00:21:27,045
There's a little
aspirin. Come on.
507
00:21:27,069 --> 00:21:28,680
He looks the same
as he did before.
508
00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:31,271
Come on. You're an Unger.
509
00:21:31,306 --> 00:21:33,139
We're gonna get you going.
510
00:21:33,175 --> 00:21:34,207
Come on.
511
00:21:34,243 --> 00:21:35,876
Felix, are you crazy?!
512
00:21:35,911 --> 00:21:37,155
What's the matter with you?!
513
00:21:37,179 --> 00:21:39,441
What are you trying to
make here, a frog malted?
514
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:42,833
No, I'm giving him
a whirlpool bath...
515
00:21:42,869 --> 00:21:45,769
Come on, will you, buddy?
516
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:47,104
I massaged him.
517
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,817
I know... it's 7:00
in the morning.
518
00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:50,251
You've been at it for hours.
519
00:21:50,275 --> 00:21:51,820
I'm telling you he's
never gonna jump.
520
00:21:51,844 --> 00:21:52,977
He's got to jump.
521
00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:54,356
Leonard's up already.
He's getting ready.
522
00:21:54,380 --> 00:21:56,013
I gave him a heating pad,
523
00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:57,831
Hi, Dad. Hi, Uncle Oscar.
524
00:21:57,867 --> 00:21:58,966
It's the big day.
525
00:21:59,001 --> 00:22:00,300
This is the big day, Leonard.
526
00:22:00,335 --> 00:22:01,613
Hi, Max.
527
00:22:01,637 --> 00:22:04,016
Come on. Jump, jump.
528
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:05,551
Right here... OSCAR: I
don't think he's gonna jump.
529
00:22:05,575 --> 00:22:06,935
Of course, he's
going to Why not?
530
00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:08,170
Tell him, will you, Felix?
531
00:22:08,194 --> 00:22:09,460
I believe he's going to jump.
532
00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:10,521
Tell him what Buck said.
533
00:22:10,545 --> 00:22:12,062
What? I believe in faith.
534
00:22:12,097 --> 00:22:16,300
I believe in the power
of positive thinking.
535
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:20,721
How about that? He did it!
536
00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:23,134
You did it! I don't believe it!
537
00:22:23,158 --> 00:22:25,192
He's gonna win, Leonard!
538
00:22:25,227 --> 00:22:26,960
It's gonna be a
great thing to see.
539
00:22:26,995 --> 00:22:28,979
It sure will.
540
00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:32,182
Well, good-bye, Dad.
541
00:22:32,217 --> 00:22:34,835
Leonard, Leonard?
542
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:39,189
Can I talk to you for a minute?
543
00:22:39,224 --> 00:22:41,291
Sure.
544
00:22:41,326 --> 00:22:43,844
You're not going to take
your father with you, huh?
545
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,931
Well, I thought about it.
546
00:22:46,966 --> 00:22:52,569
And I really would like him to
go, but you know how it gets.
547
00:22:52,604 --> 00:22:55,539
Like at the Little League team,
548
00:22:55,574 --> 00:22:58,591
he tried to show the umpire
how to clean off home base.
549
00:22:58,627 --> 00:23:01,428
Yeah, I know what he's like,
550
00:23:01,464 --> 00:23:03,631
but you know he
really means well.
551
00:23:03,666 --> 00:23:04,743
I know.
552
00:23:04,767 --> 00:23:06,933
Let me tell you what
happened yesterday.
553
00:23:06,969 --> 00:23:10,270
Max jumped into the
typewriter and I sprained his leg.
554
00:23:14,910 --> 00:23:18,228
You can honk
because an expert said
555
00:23:18,264 --> 00:23:20,764
that he would never jump again.
556
00:23:20,799 --> 00:23:22,399
But he just did.
557
00:23:22,435 --> 00:23:23,800
Yeah, you know why?
558
00:23:23,836 --> 00:23:25,436
Because your father spent hours.
559
00:23:25,471 --> 00:23:27,171
He massaged him,
gave him warm baths.
560
00:23:27,206 --> 00:23:28,872
He did everything for him.
561
00:23:28,907 --> 00:23:30,990
But why?
562
00:23:31,026 --> 00:23:33,093
Because he didn't
want to disappoint you.
563
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:41,551
Dad?
564
00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:47,870
Dad, come on.
565
00:23:47,894 --> 00:23:49,571
We're gonna be
late for the contest.
566
00:23:49,595 --> 00:23:52,997
Oh, I... I've got
a million things
567
00:23:53,032 --> 00:23:54,064
to clean up here.
568
00:23:54,100 --> 00:23:55,699
You don't want me to go along.
569
00:23:55,734 --> 00:23:57,551
Okay, I'll go.
570
00:23:57,587 --> 00:24:00,954
We're gonna win,
too, you'll see.
571
00:24:00,990 --> 00:24:01,955
You push the elevator button.
572
00:24:01,991 --> 00:24:04,791
I'll be right with you. Okay.
573
00:24:04,826 --> 00:24:07,460
Boy, blood is
thicker than water.
574
00:24:07,496 --> 00:24:08,996
He wanted me all the time.
575
00:24:09,031 --> 00:24:09,997
Hey, listen, whoa-whoa!
576
00:24:10,032 --> 00:24:11,631
Before you go, do me a favor.
577
00:24:11,666 --> 00:24:13,333
Please remember,
it's Leonard's day.
578
00:24:13,369 --> 00:24:15,101
Let him have fun his way, okay?
579
00:24:15,137 --> 00:24:16,731
It doesn't matter
how he starts Max.
580
00:24:16,755 --> 00:24:17,966
It doesn't matter if Max wins.
581
00:24:17,990 --> 00:24:19,568
It doesn't matter
if the kids cheat.
582
00:24:19,592 --> 00:24:21,269
Please, let him
have fun, all right?
583
00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:22,776
Thanks, Oscar.
584
00:24:22,812 --> 00:24:26,763
And, listen, if there's
any action, put $20 for me.
585
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:28,732
I know Max is good, okay?
586
00:24:36,775 --> 00:24:39,075
I'm just... I'm just
too emotional, Oscar.
587
00:24:39,111 --> 00:24:41,211
Would you care
to say a few words?
588
00:24:41,246 --> 00:24:43,847
Max, for winning
the frog contest
589
00:24:43,883 --> 00:24:47,117
and jumping above and
beyond the call of duty,
590
00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:50,086
even though you had a
typewriter-sprained leg,
591
00:24:50,122 --> 00:24:52,322
we're gonna set you free.
592
00:24:52,357 --> 00:24:54,870
Want you to go, want
you to have a good time,
593
00:24:54,894 --> 00:24:58,028
find a lot of
friends, live happy.
594
00:24:58,063 --> 00:25:00,296
Go, Max! Live!
595
00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:03,400
Back to nature, Max. Go!
596
00:25:03,435 --> 00:25:06,803
♪ Born free ♪
597
00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:10,407
♪ As free as the wind blows ♪
598
00:25:10,442 --> 00:25:13,677
♪ As free as the grass
grows, born free... ♪
599
00:25:13,712 --> 00:25:15,762
Dad! Dad... do you
want to be friends?
600
00:25:15,797 --> 00:25:17,163
Yeah.
601
00:25:17,199 --> 00:25:18,799
Don't sing.
39333
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