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All of these are memories.

-Oh shit, can we fix this?
-Okay, I know how to do this.

No.

You're doing really well.

Small, stupid and good memories.

Wait, I'm in the middle
of a very interesting thought.

Okay.

We're going to Montreal!

Oui! Très exciting.

Our relationship is full of them.

The special occasions.

Or in everyday stuff.

Doing fun things together.

This has been restored,
but it's really still legit, the same.

This one is really cool too.

Trying to make each other enthusiastic
about what you find cool.

-No way.
-Yes, he cut in it and everything.

Give me more.

Long nights with friends, in bars,
with too much beer.

-Oh, sweetie.
-Anne.

Sorry.

Sundays with hangovers.

That was very fun.

Making big announcements.

That you're starting
something new together.

Will you say it?

-Dad, Mom.
-Yes?

I've got news. It's something good.

I'm going to Montreal.

-Did you get the job?
-Yes.

-Sure?
-And Anne is coming.

Yes, I'm flying there
a couple of months later.

-Really?
-You've found love and a career.

I'm also proud of you.

And then persevere.

We'll be together in a couple of months.

But I'm going to miss you until then.

No matter how stressful that can be.

I love you!

I love you too!

Leave familiar places behind,

and make new memories.

Change is just good.

Anyway, back to the present.

-Hi.
-Hi, come on in.

Yes, thank you for letting me have a look.

It's nice to get
a sense of the space, you know?

Yes, definitely.

-Can I…
-Yes. Go ahead.

Okay.

Yep. There goes my lovely home.

Wonderful, a new house like this.

Hi, can I have three beers,
three gin and tonics and a mojito, please?

Yes.

Hi, sweetie.

Hi.

-Do you want a beer too?
-I could use one after today.

What? What did you say? I can't hear you.

Where are you?

I can't understand you.
Sorry, there's a lot of people here.

-Never mind.
-What?

I'll call you later.

I… Okay. Yes. Right, love you.

SORRY, I REALLY COULDN'T HEAR YOU!
LOVE YOU!

-Hi, can we have two more Salmaris?
-Oh no, Max.

Yes, you're drinking way too slowly.

While you're still in Amsterdam,
we're drinking at the Amsterdam pace.

-I have to get up really early tomorrow.
-Cut it out, will you? Thanks.

There, cheers and thanks.

-Yes.
-Cheers.

Guys, come watch this,
this is fucking awesome.

Huh? Jip, hello. Take some.

Oh my God!

Who is that?

-That's Lou.
-Who?

Lou!

Close your mouth. You're drooling.

Hot, right?

-Hot!
-Yeah.

Yes. I really want to wear that.

Come here for a second.

Hey, are you coming with me?

-Where to?
-To Jip's.

Guys. Come on. Come. Are you coming?

-Where to?
-To Jip's.

No, I have a very important meeting
with my publisher tomorrow.

Then you have plenty of time.

No.

-Baby!
-Are you all going?

-What in God's name are you doing?
-French, or I'll lose my day streak.

Darling, Canadian French is something
completely different from French French.

Yes, French is French. I don't have money
for expensive language courses.

Yeah, says the girl who just spent
70 bucks on beer.

Okay, guys, off to Jip's at full trot.

And if I want to hear bleating,
I'll buy a goat.

Yes, got it!

THE RELATIONSHIP WITH MY TITS

THAT'S NOT HOW IT SHOULD GO

Soon you'll be hanging here too, An.

Yeah, there are some truly
very beautiful pieces in here.

And sharp too.

But I have the feeling
that you lost your way a little bit.

What do you mean?

Well, what I mean is that when you sent us
those first chapters back then,

we were truly very enthusiastic…

Yes.

…and impressed with the personal
and authentic nature of it,

but you seem to have lost that a bit
on the way.

It has--sorry--become a bit uninteresting.

It also reads as if you lost
yourself a bit, is that correct?

Well…

Well, no, I don't actually think so.

But the character
is also searching, right?

Yes, I get that and that is fine,

but in its current state,
we cannot publish it.

And also, I don't think it's a bad idea
to make some major improvements, right?

I mean, the book is already
in our catalog.

Sorry, but the searching theme
of the book is fine, isn't it?

That is also part of… It's one of
the characteristics of the main character.

Yes, but your main character has no goal.

I mean, she doesn't want to find out,
it seems, what she is searching for.

What does she want
and how does she get there?

And is she really the hero of the story?

Such bullshit.

Okay.

But I…

Okay.

I know a very nice writing coach.
I'll put you in touch with her.

And I think it'd be good, Anne,
for you to ask yourself,

"What do I really want to say?"

You need to start
making some clear choices.

So what do you,
Anne Verbeek, have to tell the world?

Hey, sweetie.

Hey, sweetie.

Oh shit, our timing hasn't been
very good lately, has it?

No, man, shit.

What time is it there?
Don't you have work in the morning?

It is fucking early,
but we landed a mega big contract,

so we have the morning off.

Cool, congrats.

Thanks. By the way,
I've finally fully decorated our home.

Do you want to see it?
See, the little kitchen.

-Hi.
-And so…

This lamp!

Do you remember it in that magazine,
you know, of that Italian designer?

I said to you back then,
"This lamp is super expensive."

-Hello.
-Hello.

Who was that?

I'm just going to go to a quiet spot.

Okay. Yeah, I originally wanted
to tell you this tomorrow afternoon,

my time,

but, yeah, then this happens
and now we're talking anyway,

so I want to get it off my chest.

I've started flirting with someone.

And that was her just now. Zoey.

That's very fast.

An?

Sorry, you froze.

Where do you know her from?

She's a friend of a colleague.

Nice.

Yes.

Yes, no, yes, nice, she looks cute.

-Quite a different type.
-Yes.

Hey, are you okay? 'Cause…

If you don't feel comfortable, you know…

I mean, you know
what we agreed upon, right?

Yes, no…

…talk about it later. But in good time.

Yes, that's fine.
Yes. No, I'm completely fine.

Just go… Sweetie, just go celebrate.
Really, just go.

Okay.

An, I love you, right?

You are my everything.

I love you too.

Okay. This is fine.

This is our agreement.

What?!

Is that the big radio celesbian Jip?

Yes!

How are you?

Yeah, well, stuff.

We'll talk later.

Sure? You know you can always
talk to me about stuff, right?

No, it's really okay.

Hello! We're going
to celebrate your success.

-Yas.
-Yas. How are you?

Yeah, good. I'm peaking at the moment.

I know another cishet woman.

-Maybe you know her.
-It's possible.

It's fine as long as it's not in my face.

Okay. Yes. I love you.

Gay rights and stuff. Love is love.

"Gay rights and stuff."

-Yes, Daan, the true ally.
-Well.

Dear sweethearts,
I want to toast to this amazing woman,

my woman, because she is getting
her own fucking radio show!

Cheers!

-Look each other in the eye.
-Bad sex otherwise, yes.

Yes, we don't want that.

Hey, but seriously, I hope you'll
listen to all the fucking episodes,

because I plan to become
a fucking big platform for young artists,

queer artists, artists of color
and just fucking awesome music.

I have already let everybody know,
I stopped just shy of calling the king.

No, but seriously,
the first show will be really hard

and Nana Adjoa is doing a live session…

-Yes, darling. Very cool.
-And Lionstorm wanted…

I am really fucking proud of you, Jippie.

-Yes?
-Yes, really.

And you? How was the meeting
with that publisher? Do tell.

Oh, right.

Yeah, fine.

I still have to do some rewriting
and make some adjustments.

-Can we read it soon?
-Almost.

We're doing something like a goodbye
slash the-book-is-done party, right?

Oh my God, you're almost leaving.

Well, there's still a few weeks.

Doesn't sound very enthusiastic, An.

Yes, I am,
but I just have to arrange some things.

Okay, like what?

Okay. Just stuff.

-You're still going, right?
-Yes, of course, hello. Yes.

-I'm calling it. She's not going.
-No?

Okay, Jesus, guys. I'm just not
super excited for a moment.

I don't have to be like that all the time.

I'm just tired, so chill out.

Okay, sorry.

It's just annoying that you act
like there's something wrong

or that I don't finish stuff.
Have a little faith in me.

-It's going well. Just fine. Really.
-Okay.

Hey, who wants something to eat?
Shall I get a snack?

Are you gonna get that
for us, sweetie? Really?

-Can I have beet balls?
-Beet balls?

-Cheese platter?
-Yes, cheese platter.

Yes. A cheese platter, I heard.

I'LL REALLY MISS MY FAM

LET'S CONTEMPLATE

THIS WOMAN

LE_LOUP IS FOLLOWING YOU

LE_LOUP LIKES YOUR POST

LOU - ACTIVIST - DRAG KING (THEY/THEM)

Yeah, what does the main character want?

Right? What is she working towards?
Is there an antagonist?

It isn't very eventful. It…
Yes, it meanders.

And there is a whole lot of talking,
really quite a lot of talking.

And it's interesting, but because of that

it stays somewhere between plot driven
and character driven.

I do think that you need to…

Does she like women?

Would Saar be jealous
if I did stuff with her?

We can also quickly… You and me…

Fuck it.

Anne?

-What?
-Are you listening?

Yes, meanders. It meanders.

Should I send Lou a message?

Yes, of course.
If Sara's got a girl in Montreal,

then you should also be allowed
to DM someone.

-Yes, right? Yes.
-Yes.

Oh, here we go again.

Hey, well, what should I send her?

Or, wait… "them."
It says "they them" in their bio.

Yeah, just send something like,

"Hey, would you like to go out
for a drink some time?"

"My girlfriend is seeing someone
and I want that too

because otherwise the balance is off."

Please…

"And I would rather date someone else too

than talk about it
with my girlfriend. Bye, Anne."

Stop it.

I will just send something like,

"Hey, how was your weekend?"

Very nice. That makes me very horny.

-Lil, seriously.
-Yeah, that's fine. Just send that.

Okay.

Yes, I still have to arrange a few things.
I'm getting my passport this week.

An, how you do everything last minute,
really, I couldn't do that.

I know, just let me be.

How's it going with…

-With Zoe?
-Yes.

Yes, good. Fun. We see each other
once a week or something like that.

She wants to meet you.

Is that okay with you
or would you rather not do that at all?

Yes, no, yes, that's… Yes, fun. We can…

we can FaceTime sometime.

An, really?

Really? Yeah, fun. I will tell her.

And how are you doing? And your book?
Did you hand everything in?

Shit.

Yes, it's fine.

Still some minor rewrites to do,
some fine-tuning and stuff.

I'm so proud of you.
You just wrote your first novel. So cool.

Yes.

Hey, if there's something wrong,
you need to tell me, okay?

Or if you don't feel comfortable?

No, everything's fine.

I love you, right?

I love you too.

So…

We can only date another person
if we both feel good about it.

Yes.

And do we want to know everything?

I mean, maybe not if it's only sex,
but what if it turns into dating?

Well…

Yes, I don't know.
Just continue to communicate, right?

Yes, can I have that in writing?
That you will continue to communicate?

No, I'm joking.
No, but seriously, that sounds good.

Yes.

And also, keep voicing
doubts and boundaries.

Yes.

And also give each other freedom

because that is the idea
behind a polyamorous relationship, right?

Yes.

Yeah, I think it is so good
and healthy that we're doing this.

-Right? Look at us.
-Yes.

Yeah, great. Looks good.

No, this was still in there.

Yeah. No problem.

-It's 40, right?
-Yes, 40.

Oh God, how do you do this again?

Okay.

Hey.

-Nice.
-Yes.

What are your pronouns?

She/her.

Okay, cool. Mine are they, them and their.

I knew that from your Instagram.

Great.

Just like how pretty much
all my exes like your photos.

It is such a nice feeling, right,
when you walk onto the stage

and you hear everyone going like…

I don't think I could ever do that,
be a drag king.

Why not?

Yeah, being on that stage
with everybody watching.

And then acting all sexy.

-Do you find it difficult to feel sexy?
-Me?

I don't know. Well, I'm not really
actively thinking about it, I guess.

Okay. When do you feel the most sexy?

When I'm confident, I think.

Yes, I'm not really into sexy clothing
or lingerie and stuff, that…

No, I actually never
really feel sexy sexy.

Whatever that means, but--

No, I can think,
"I'm looking good," but sexy?

That's…

No.

Sexy is quite a broad concept, right?

It's just not all about
sexy clothing or lingerie.

-It's something different for everyone.
-Yes, exactly, I think so too.

My girlfriend, Sara, for instance,

she likes to wear
pretty lingerie and stuff, but…

but that actually does very little for me.

No, I find her very sexy, really,
but just when she's feeling good,

when she's making coffee
in her underwear,

when she's in total work mode
on a Zoom call

with colleagues from all over the world.
That is sexy.

But anyway, yeah.

You have a girlfriend?

Yes.

Yes, but we are open, poly.

Hey, but wait a minute, right?

You're writing a book and then you're off
to the other side of the world? Why?

Well, that's just the plan.

Weird plan.

Yes.

-Yes.
-Yes.

I just want to write a kick-ass book.

But then…

My publisher asked me
what I actually have to say.

Yes.

So now I'm thinking the whole time,
"What actually is my life experience?"

"Why do I have to write a book?
Is that what the world is waiting for?"

What do you want to write about?

About friendship and relationships
and love and identity.

Gender, expression, about being queer.

Okay. What does being queer mean to you?

I don't know.

Or, well, I actually do know.

Being lesbian, or being queer,
and coming out

has completely shaped me
into who I am now.

So yeah, I would never want it differently

because it's such a big part
of my identity. It's really my whole life.

But as a queer person,
I live in a heteronormative society,

so then you approach everything
automatically from you being queer.

And I think,
"Yes, I just want to tell that story."

Show how fun it is to be queer.

And bring people into that world
because being queer is just fun

and exciting, and complicated.

And real and loving.

And everything.

Being queer is just everything. Yeah…

Yeah, it's so much more than I imagined
when I was in the closet.

Yes.

Well, I'm also just happy that now I…

That I can now be proud of something
that I used to be ashamed of for so long.

So I want to just show that and…

Yeah, that I feel
so much more comfortable now.

And why is that?

That I feel more comfortable?

Because of time.

Yeah, things just take time, right?

Yeah, and I've also become
very mature, of course.

Yes.

YOU'VE SKIPPED
YOUR FRENCH LESSON FOR 3 DAYS

But you have to keep doing it,
you have to keep trying,

and not avoid it just because it's easier.

Talking works, patience works, must talk…

Okay, I sometimes take them… Stop it.

I take them to queer lectures
or films or something.

Bring them into my world for a bit.

Yeah, okay, but I really don't see
that happening with my parents.

Why not? Just do it.

Yes, Lou, I'm happy for you
and your parents,

but my process is just different.

Oh, sorry.

But anyway, tell me your political story.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

-Are you sure?
-Throw it at me.

Okay, here it is, right?

Well, we divide the world
into two categories.

That determines how we treat each other.

Men are not allowed to cry,
women can't do DIY,

and women are actually
totally subordinate anyway, right?

That's a bizarre system
when you think about it.

That was invented by all of us together.

Yeah, there is so fucking little freedom
in what being a woman can look like.

Exactly,
and we invented everything anyway.

Money, we invented that,
we just print it like that. Bam, bam!

The internet was invented by us.

Language, photography, art, politics,
gender constructs.

We invented that.

So why can we not keep inventing?
Or re-inventing?

Why is being nonbinary and wanting
to break free from invented constructs

not done for so many people?

Yes.

And just like language,

it keeps renewing
and that is actually the beauty of it.

So what's the matter, tell me,
with they, them and their pronouns?

Yes, completely.

Yeah, well, exactly that.

Well, you got me.

-Hey, Jippie.
-Yo, An.

Hey, are you still talking to Saar?

-Why?
-Well, I got a text.

A text from her, that she hasn't
spoken to you in a few days

and also can't get hold of you.

Fuck.

I don't even have her new number.

I never text with her,
but apparently she felt the urge

to send me a text to get hold of you.

Yes, shit.

What are you actually doing, man?
Just talk to her.

Yes, I know.

Is everything else okay with you?

Yeah, no, yeah, it's fine.

I should really just talk to Saar.
You're right.

Yes, I am right.

Well, sort it out, girl.

And let's grab a beer soon.

-We don't see each other enough, man.
-Yeah, you're right. I'll text you.

All right. Bye.

There you go.

-Oh my God, sweetie.
-What?

We got the house!

Oh my God, sweetie. Our dream house?

I know, look,
with those beautiful stairs outside!

-Yeah.
-Oh my God.

Okay, I'm going to reply now.

-Okay.
-Yes.

Yes.

HEY, SWEETIE. EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

How about this one?

Try this one on.

So what you're doing now
is called blending.

I'm actually making all the lines
that I've just applied softer.

No, this seems too much… Yes.

Drag is more than a fun fancy-dress party.

It is a way to rebel against the norm.

Oh my God!

Maxie.

-My God, you look so good.
-Thanks.

Yeah, and drag came from protest.

That is what we owe all of this to.

Look at the Stonewall riots, for instance.

Drag artists and trans women of color
were on the frontlines there.

And it's just very important

to always remember what we owe pride to,
but also drag.

Yeah, I love it. Can we take a picture?
I'm totally fangirling.

Very nice, look.

-How beautiful.
-Cute!

Darling of mine.

You have a naturally strong jaw line.

-Yeah?
-Yes, really.

Would you maybe
like some facial hair or something?

A beard would be pretty cool.

-Whoa, Lil, looking good.
-Thanks.

Nice dick you got there.

-Well, gorgeous…
-What?

-And what is your name?
-Jennifer.

Okay, everyone get together for a moment.

All right, yes.

Join us.

Drag is about reclaiming your space.

Claiming space.

Yeah, as a queer person,
you're always being looked at

and this is a way to turn that
into something positive.

Dare to take that space.

-Yeah?
-Yeah!

-Yeah?
-Yeah!

This is so nice.

An, what's wrong?

Nothing.

I just love you.

Are you nice and drunk?

No, but really.

What am I supposed to do without you?

Yeah, nothing. Without us you are nothing.

No!

We love you too, Annie.

Guys, stop for a moment!

Anne is emo!

What is it, darling?

What is it? No!

Come here.

Join us. We love you, Annie.

Hey, darling!

Don't cry.

Goddamn, I love you so much too.

Two cheese snacks, one vegetable what?

-A vegetable croquette.
-Croquette.

-Veggie?
-Veggie.

Yes, a vegetable croquette, and Lil?

-Deep-fried noodles.
-Gross, seriously?

-Deep-fried noodles.
-And deep-fried noodles.

-Of course, coming up.
-Thanks.

Hey, Lou is really super fun, right?

-Yeah, she is so freaking fun.
-They.

Yes, sorry.

And yeah, so true, right?

Have you licked and stuff yet?

-No.
-Why?

Well, no,
I don't know if I should do that.

-You like them, right?
-Yes.

-And you're in a poly relationship?
-Yes.

-And you're almost going to Montreal.
-Yeah.

No.

Does Sara know that?

No.

What a vibrant conversation.

No, but wait,
you're not going to Montreal?

Yes.

No.

Oh, guys, I don't know.

I just don't know.

I have to emigrate in two weeks.
What the fuck?

And I have to give up my home.

And I still have to rewrite
my entire book.

Come crash at my house.

-Seriously?
-Yes. It'll be fun, right?

Yes…

What now?

Everything okay?
You seem a bit distracted or something.

Oh, no, it's fine.

Really?

I've had a lot on my mind,
but don't worry.

You know you can tell me anything, right?
Talk to me.

Okay, come on. Let's get a drink.

What was your first impression of me?

Sweet.

Complicated.

Listens well, talks badly.

Yeah? All of that from the first meeting?

-I'm a good judge of character, right?
-Sure.

Attractive, of course.

I was gonna say.

And you? Of me?

Very attractive too, of course.

And smart.

And interesting and honorable.

-Honorable?
-Yes. Sorry.

No, yes, well, yes, actually, yes.

I immediately felt at ease with you.

Like I, yeah, could say
anything without being judged.

Yeah.

I feel the same way.

-I think it's a generational thing too.
-Yeah?

Yeah, for our parents

everything was just
nicely mapped out and obvious.

-Not many uncertainties.
-Yeah.

I think they just never learned
to talk about anything.

No, well, mine certainly didn't.

Yeah, and they never
understand our problems, right?

Because they think,
"Hey, I was young once, just like you.

-You've heard that?
-Yeah.

"And I've made it this far
without any fuss,

so you should also be able to."

Yes. That's exactly
what my parents are like.

They just don't understand. That's it.

No, they really don't.

No.

Yeah, I'm doing things differently.

-I won't remain silent.
-No.

No.

I also just want a family

and I want my kids to have the feeling

that they can tell me
and each other anything.

That there isn't always some sort
of weird tension about a certain topic,

that nobody has to bottle shit up.

I just want there to be true love.

Just honest love.

No fuss, no drama, just openness.

What?

Come here.

Anyway, you were talking
about something very serious?

Yeah. I just need to recover
from this ambush.

You're a good kisser.

Well, that's a relief.

You really turn everything
into a joke, right?

Oh, well…

Maybe.

Yes, maybe.

Yeah, I mean as a kind of distraction
or something, right?

Then you don't have to be vulnerable.

But it's also kind of sweet.

You really are fucking sexy.

I mean it.

Look at you.

Beautiful, right?

Yes.

Can I fuck you?

Aren't we…

Yeah, I mean with a strap-on.

I've never really done that before.

You haven't?

We don't have to if you don't want to.

Yes. I want it.

Yes?

Is this okay?

Yeah?

Okay.

I want to be on top of you.

-Fuck.
-Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.
I really feel like a teenage boy.

I've never come that quickly.

It's lovely, isn't it?

That was really very hot.

You are hot.

You too.

I've been wanting to try that
for a very long time, but I never did.

Why not?

I don't know.

I had a perfectly fine sex life with Sara.

People miss out on so much

by not sharing their fantasies
and feelings with each other.

Yeah, so it turns out.

The moment you entered me
I almost couldn't take it anymore.

I could feel it.

Yeah?

Yeah, you completely relaxed.

You fully surrendered.

Thank you.

For what?

For, well… for the sex, I think?

No one's ever thanked me for sex before.

Yeah. How silly.

Sorry.

This was just really…

SARA MATOUK -TODAY
5 MISSED CALLS

HEY, SWEETIE. I'M IN AMSTERDAM.
CAN WE MEET THIS AFTERNOON?

Oh my God.

What?

Sara is in Amsterdam.

-I didn't know she was coming.
-No, neither did I.

-Right…
-Fuck.

You are going to her, right?

I don't know.

Get a grip, you're going.
I think you two have enough to talk about.

No, can't I hide with you?

Anne, fuck you. It's your girlfriend.

I don't want you to avoid her
by being with me.

-Here.
-That was a joke.

Yeah, funny.

Come on.

Just say what you feel.

Yes.

-Hey.
-Hey.

-I love you, right?
-I love you too.

Okay. I don't want to go to Montreal.

You seemed to…

Oh, did I not say that out loud?

Come on, An.

Anyway…

I need to rewrite my book.

Yes.

They actually thought it was terrible.

What the hell? Your book is brilliant.

Yeah, well, they had some good points.

Also in terms of content
and style and stuff.

I really think it's nonsense.

Yes, but it's not.

Okay.

I have to stay
in Amsterdam a little longer.

To rewrite my book.

Yeah.

You okay?

Yes, I'm just tired. Jet lag.

Yeah.

I came all the way here for you.

Yeah, to come and get me.

I don't think you're here just for me.

There's a bump in the road of your plan,
and I'm your bump.

You are not my bump.

Yes, I am.

Sweetie, you are not a bump at all.

Don't be so silly.
Where did you get that idea?

Sorry. I don't really know.

I've missed you.

I missed you too.

Why is this so difficult?

NOW
APPLY FOR PASSPORT AT CITY HALL

What's going on?

Shit, man.

She's already asleep.

Not now.

But when will you do it then?

Not now.

Or should I?

Okay, An.

Just say what you feel.

Saar.

Saar? Can we…

-Yes?
-Talk?

Now?

Yes.

Wow, okay.

Okay.

I love you

and you're sweet and pretty
and smart and sexy and…

But I don't want to go to Montreal yet.

Okay.

And I just don't know
if I want to go at all.

You want a long-distance relationship?

No.

Yes.

I don't know.
I just don't think I can do it.

Are you breaking up with me?

Yes. I think I am.

You think? If you are,
you should know for sure.

I know for sure.

But… Okay…

Sorry, I don't understand.

We had a plan. Everything was going well.

No, Saar, you had a plan.
I just had to go along with it.

What?

And I also met someone.

Not that that matters.

-Do you want to be with her?
-No, them, no.

And that doesn't matter either!

Okay. I just have the feeling

that I only go along with things for you

and that I don't think at all
about what I want myself.

So you just break up with me
without talking about it first?

I am not just breaking up with you, Saar.

I have really been having doubts
for a very long time.

Then say something.

Yes.

Saar, you can look at me like that,

but you're not the easiest
to talk to, you know.

No, really. There's no space for it.

You ask about it,
but you pay zero attention to the answer.

Jesus.

Saar, sweetie, Saar, sorry, all right?

It's just…

I just don't want this.

I don't want to go to Montreal.

I don't want a polyamorous relationship.

Yes, you do, and that is fine,
but I just can't right now.

You were fine to be with me
and whatever she...

they are called.

Really? You think
I was more than fine with that?

I think you were enjoying it,
more than with me at least.

Yeah, at least with them
I could talk, yes.

Yes. I had really good conversations.

-Super, An, this is really great, thanks.
-Yeah.

And since when
are you against poly relationships?

I have nothing against poly relationships.
I have something against this one.

Saar, it was a last resort for us.
That's not healthy, right?

I never wanted it.

Why didn't you say so?
We've had major conversations about this.

You don't listen.

You don't want to hear it.
I can't talk to you.

Talking would be a lot easier
if you learned to communicate better.

How fucking difficult is that really?
I can't smell what you think.

What a poor excuse
to not have to take responsibility.

-Really, sometimes, Saar…
-Yes?

Sometimes you have to put in more effort
to have a conversation.

Sometimes you have to observe.

Just look at someone.
Yeah, like that, good.

I am alone in this relationship.

What? Sorry, what kind of melodramatic--

No, what have you contributed to us?
Seriously, name it.

What are you talking about?

Of course I make plans
because you do nothing.

No, because you don't ask what I want!

Saar, that's why not!

You only came here to pick me up.
Really, I swear.

You haven't come here
to solve things, really.

You're only imposing your own plan on me.
You're fucking egotistical.

That's what you are.
You never think about what I want.

You are such a defeatist, An.

You think the entire world is against you.
How rough you've had it.

What the fuck do you have
to complain about?

You can be
such a spoiled little white girl.

Fuck you, Saar.

There are worse things than a failed book
and a failed relationship.

Our relationship failed?

This is what I mean!

Is that what you took
from that conversation?

Oh my God, this girl, seriously.

Do you call this a conversation?

We're here in the middle of the night
fucking yelling at each other.

Yeah?

Okay, we're done. Good.

This is so fucking cowardly of you,
but I'm used to that by now.

Fine, Saar.

That's great, call me a coward.

Just call me a coward.

I just feel that I'm never enough for you.

I'm not smart enough,
not ambitious enough, not sexy enough.

That's news to me.
Not sexy enough? Since when?

-I find you very sexy.
-Well, you never say it.

And your new love surely does?
God, she meets one person

and she compares our entire relationship
with that. I should have known.

-Lou is not my love.
-Lou.

Yes, Lou, yes.

Nice name.

I just realized how horrible I can feel
when I'm with you.

An, I'm not doing this.

-I won't be accused of all this.
-Well, I just felt like shit.

Maybe that's not because of me,
but because of you!

An?

An.

You are the first girl
I fell in love with.

The first girl I introduced to my parents.

I want to spend
the rest of my life with you.

Anne…

You want to be with me
as long as it's on your terms, Saar.

No, goddammit.

Yes, really, Saar. It doesn't work.
I don't want this anymore.

I'm leaving.

Yes.

Okay.

I hope you'll be a little happier, An.

With yourself
and with the world around you.

Hey.

Maybe grab a shower?

No, never mind.

Come on, darling.

-That quickly?
-Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah, a sad night in a bar

and a special encounter with drag queens

meant the beginning
of Christine and the Queens.

A beautiful first album, for everyone
who could use some Chaleur Humaine.

Annie!

Hey, Dad.

Well…

Does this call for tea or whiskey?

Whiskey.

Here you go.

Are you still lying on the couch?

I went to the toilet a few times,

and I made lunch, washed the dishes.

Okay, Annie, a different approach.
Tomorrow we'll go for a walk.

Dad!

Come on, Annie.

Sometimes you just have to flip a switch.

Or you'll never get anywhere.

-You're one to talk.
-What do you mean by that?

Since the divorce
you're no ray of sunshine.

You never talk about it.

Some things are difficult to talk about.

Yeah, I know, Dad. You raised me
never to talk about anything.

Hey, Annie.

Well, think about it.

When do we ever talk about feelings
or about deeper things?

Why do we never talk about the divorce?

Why does everything
always have to be jovial?

Why do I always feel
that I'm saying the wrong things?

Or that I can never quite be myself?

Because you never taught me
to talk about things.

That's enough, Anne.

You can't pin everything
on your upbringing.

You're an adult. Start acting like one.

-You're in control, you know?
-Oh, really?

I'm sorry if we used to talk very little
about certain things.

If you want to change things, change them.

It's not always your environment.
Sometimes it's you.

You are the cause of your own problems.

And yes, that's unpleasant
and vulnerable to admit,

but that's what we should do.

Are you walking away now?

-Well, that is very mature.
-No, I fancy a drink.

Fine, you go have a drink. I'm going home.

EVERYTHING OKAY?

Sorry, Annie.
I shouldn't have walked away.

I'm sorry too.

How do you feel?

Dad, we don't
have to suddenly talk about feelings.

No, I mean it.
You're clearly down in the dumps.

What can I do?

Nothing.

Okay, but what can you do yourself?

What makes you happy or relaxed?
How do you unwind?

Writing, I think.

Do that, then.

Yes, I'm doing that already.
I'm rewriting my entire book.

Well, continue doing that.

Yes.

Would you like to read a bit soon?

I'm curious what you think.

Yes, I would love to.

Who's in it then?

Well, everybody, basically.

But with different names
and it has been dramatized a bit.

Sounds fun, man.

So your friends as well?

What am I like in it?

You are the best friend

and the main character doesn't
pay her the attention she deserves

because she's always there for her.

And for that
the main character should apologize.

Are you apologizing?

Yes.

Sorry.

Thanks. It's okay.

You were there for me
when I wasn't doing well

and I'm here for you.

Love you, Jippie.

All right. I love you too.

And…

Us?

Yes.

It was fun, right?

Yes.

Yeah, I'm not looking
for anything romantic.

I think you're great
and fun to hang out with,

but I'm just not looking
for anything more right now.

Yes.

No, same here, I think.

Sorry, I think it is so chill
how direct you are.

I would've beaten
around the bush for weeks.

I know. That's why I said it.

And I just found out
that I was lost myself,

and that I could not entirely be myself
in my relationship with my ex

and also with my parents and stuff.

And there are a lot
of positive things in there as well.

It's very personal.
I mean, all my friends are in it.

It's super queer.

It has actually become
kind of a collection of memories.

And you were right about the searching
and who was the hero of the story.

Well, I have just been
subconsciously sabotaging my own life.

I have taken everything for granted.

But, okay, yes, I'm behind this book 100%,

so if you don't like it,
then I just don't know what to do anymore.

Then it's over.

Anne.

I really liked it.

-Really?
-Yes.

It's still searching, but with a goal.

And you feel how personal it is,
but it's also very relatable.

You've found your story.

Well, I'm glad.

-And the title?
-Yes.

It's about who the main character is
in relation to the people around her.

Hence the…

I understand.

Hey! Hi.

Annie!

-Hey. Shantay, you stay, dick.
-Yes.

What's all this then?

Yeah, well, we had originally organized
a going-away party for you, but…

So now it's an Anne-is-staying-here party.

And hopefully
an Anne-finished-her-book party.

Oh God, I love you so much.

And your book?

Yes, my book is being published!

Cheers.

To you, dear An, and to your book,

which you, of course, owe entirely to us
because, well, we are all in it.

Yes, well, yeah.

-Cheers!
-Cheers!

Thanks, darlings.

I've made skewers.

No, you didn't…

Dear Saar,

our last night together
has become a bad memory

and I don't want that.

I want to hold on
to our beautiful memories so badly.

But I also think
different things make us happy.

And that's okay.

I'm happy now.

At home,

in Amsterdam,

with my friends.

I hope that you are too.

And sorry for the things I said,

or maybe didn't say.

I know how frustrating I can be.

I have become better at it, at talking.

I mean, I'm still bad at it, but better.

I hope that you're also busy
investing in new memories.

My mom said that recently,
that the best investment that you can make

is in memories.

So that's what I'm doing.

Three, two, one…

No!

And I really am feeling better.

I rewrote my book.

And yes.

You are inevitably in it.

I hope that you like it

and also recognize our fun
and nice moments in it.

-Hey. Wow, so nice that you're here.
-Yeah, congratulations.

Anyway, read it or don't.

I hope you're doing well.

Much love.