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1
00:00:01,242 --> 00:00:03,486
Man:
Brothers and sisters,
2
00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:06,592
we are here to take the first
step of our greatest journey,
3
00:00:06,627 --> 00:00:08,491
our final journey.
4
00:00:08,525 --> 00:00:11,390
So, raise your feet.
5
00:00:11,425 --> 00:00:12,874
Raise them higher.
6
00:00:12,909 --> 00:00:16,947
And now drink mightily
from your glass.
7
00:00:16,982 --> 00:00:18,501
Is this the poison wine?
8
00:00:18,535 --> 00:00:19,571
Okay, you know something?
9
00:00:19,605 --> 00:00:21,090
I wasn't gonna just
blurt that out.
10
00:00:21,124 --> 00:00:22,850
Is there a poison white wine?
11
00:00:22,884 --> 00:00:24,714
Barbara, hush.
12
00:00:24,748 --> 00:00:28,028
♪♪
13
00:00:30,271 --> 00:00:35,863
♪♪
14
00:00:38,590 --> 00:00:41,731
♪♪
15
00:00:44,113 --> 00:00:45,804
Aw, man, that's
a big shipment coming in.
16
00:00:45,838 --> 00:00:48,703
Ah, look, they all got the same
robes, same stupid haircuts.
17
00:00:49,980 --> 00:00:51,258
We got a suicide cult!
18
00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:54,744
What is happening?
19
00:00:54,778 --> 00:00:55,986
Do not fret, Steven's Barbara.
20
00:00:56,021 --> 00:00:57,402
This is but a final tribulation.
21
00:00:57,436 --> 00:01:01,406
Soon, the lacing will come
and take us to Toetopia.
22
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,063
Toetopia.
23
00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:04,374
Gary, get 'em out of here.
24
00:01:04,409 --> 00:01:05,962
Why do I always get the nutjobs?
25
00:01:05,996 --> 00:01:07,377
Because you're the kooky one.
26
00:01:07,412 --> 00:01:09,793
Oh, that's right.
I got to get into antics.
27
00:01:09,828 --> 00:01:11,657
Come on! Come on.
Get in here.
28
00:01:11,692 --> 00:01:13,107
Plenty of room.
Ho!
29
00:01:13,142 --> 00:01:15,420
Hey, what's going on, guys?
Name's Gary Bonda.
30
00:01:15,454 --> 00:01:19,838
I will be your torturer for the
day and for the rest of forever.
31
00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:21,115
Take a look at these.
32
00:01:21,150 --> 00:01:23,152
Got these bad boys
in from the Sudan.
33
00:01:23,186 --> 00:01:24,429
Super-retro, right?
34
00:01:24,463 --> 00:01:25,983
Hang by the sides of one
that you want,
35
00:01:26,016 --> 00:01:27,270
then I'll get over there,
and I'll just
36
00:01:27,294 --> 00:01:28,778
nail you right in.
37
00:01:28,812 --> 00:01:30,400
Big dog, up top.
Let's go!
38
00:01:30,435 --> 00:01:32,092
You know.
You've seen the pictures.
39
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,231
Let's go.
Get on up.
40
00:01:33,265 --> 00:01:34,749
Come on. All right. All right.
41
00:01:34,784 --> 00:01:36,520
You got anything in your pockets
that's gonna stick me?
42
00:01:36,544 --> 00:01:38,305
I'm clean.Okay.
43
00:01:38,339 --> 00:01:40,341
What the hell happened
to your dang feet?
44
00:01:40,376 --> 00:01:43,413
Well, we believe that the soul
resides at the sole of the feet,
45
00:01:43,448 --> 00:01:45,588
so we pierce them
to free our spirits.
46
00:01:45,622 --> 00:01:47,935
Your whole religion
is based on a pun?
47
00:01:47,969 --> 00:01:49,281
Gary!
What?
48
00:01:49,316 --> 00:01:50,603
Why haven't you crucified
these idiots yet?
49
00:01:50,627 --> 00:01:52,053
Because they got holes
in their feet,
50
00:01:52,077 --> 00:01:53,423
there's no place to nail 'em in.
51
00:01:53,458 --> 00:01:55,125
So, just lop the feet off
and nail the stumps.
52
00:01:55,149 --> 00:01:56,506
Why do I have to think
of everything?
53
00:01:56,530 --> 00:01:58,152
Why do you have to
think of everything?
54
00:01:58,187 --> 00:01:59,498
'Cause you're bad at your job.
55
00:01:59,533 --> 00:02:01,131
You're bad at your job.
You're a bad manager.
56
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:02,363
I need to be a good employee?
57
00:02:02,398 --> 00:02:04,030
Need a good manager
to be a good employee.
58
00:02:04,054 --> 00:02:06,781
Just do it... please?
59
00:02:06,816 --> 00:02:08,473
Thank you.
60
00:02:09,543 --> 00:02:10,958
Now let's chop these feet off.
61
00:02:10,992 --> 00:02:12,349
Oh, hold up.
Hold up, Gary. Hold up.
62
00:02:12,373 --> 00:02:15,273
Hold up, one moment.
Do you often feel belittled
63
00:02:15,307 --> 00:02:17,344
by people smaller than yourself?
64
00:02:17,378 --> 00:02:18,966
Yeah.
65
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,278
How did you know that?
66
00:02:20,312 --> 00:02:22,797
You must really be
some kind of prophet.
67
00:02:22,832 --> 00:02:25,214
Ah. I'd like to give you
a personality test.
68
00:02:25,248 --> 00:02:27,147
What do you say?
Hmm?
69
00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:28,400
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, I guess. Yeah.
70
00:02:28,424 --> 00:02:30,736
All right.
Why don't you have a seat?
71
00:02:30,771 --> 00:02:33,636
So organized. There you go.
72
00:02:33,670 --> 00:02:34,637
Are you ready to begin?
73
00:02:34,671 --> 00:02:36,570
Sure. Hey, man. Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
74
00:02:36,604 --> 00:02:38,306
I'm not really into people
looking at my feet.
75
00:02:38,330 --> 00:02:40,574
I need to see your feet
in order to do the test.
76
00:02:40,608 --> 00:02:42,748
It's all right.
It's all right.
77
00:02:44,612 --> 00:02:47,891
Oh, my.
What are you, a size four?
78
00:02:47,926 --> 00:02:50,308
I can't really take my shoes off
in front of anybody,
79
00:02:50,342 --> 00:02:52,344
because I get this reaction
all the time
80
00:02:52,379 --> 00:02:54,035
and people chase me
around saying,
81
00:02:54,070 --> 00:02:56,106
"Gary Toddler Feet.
Burn him. Burn him."
82
00:02:56,141 --> 00:02:58,074
No. No, Gary,
they're perfect.
83
00:02:58,108 --> 00:03:00,214
So hairless and dainty.
84
00:03:00,249 --> 00:03:01,905
Shall we begin?
85
00:03:03,735 --> 00:03:05,599
This little piggy
went to market,
86
00:03:05,633 --> 00:03:07,325
this little piggy
had roast beef,
87
00:03:07,359 --> 00:03:10,190
and this little piggy
cried wee, wee, wee,
88
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:12,606
all the way... Holy shit!
89
00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:14,573
In all the times that
I've performed this test,
90
00:03:14,608 --> 00:03:17,024
I've neverseen
anything like this.
91
00:03:17,058 --> 00:03:20,061
You only have like
eight followers.
92
00:03:20,096 --> 00:03:22,063
In the prophecy that I wrote,
93
00:03:22,098 --> 00:03:23,927
it tells of a man
of scant accomplishments
94
00:03:23,962 --> 00:03:27,345
with the feet of a baby
that will lead us to Toetopia.
95
00:03:27,379 --> 00:03:30,037
Gary, I believe
that you're the High Heel.
96
00:03:30,071 --> 00:03:32,350
You are our savior, Gary.
97
00:03:32,384 --> 00:03:35,353
Well, it is very nice,
and I'm very flattered,
98
00:03:35,387 --> 00:03:37,562
but that is very stupid.
99
00:03:37,596 --> 00:03:38,873
What is that?
100
00:03:38,908 --> 00:03:40,220
This?
101
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:42,256
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ow!
102
00:03:42,291 --> 00:03:44,165
Satan: Gentlemen, we have
managed to wrap bacon around
103
00:03:44,189 --> 00:03:46,260
almost every other form of food.
104
00:03:46,295 --> 00:03:49,125
Uh, the second item up...
105
00:03:49,159 --> 00:03:50,540
Oh, hey, Gar.
106
00:03:50,575 --> 00:03:53,302
Please
excuse me for my tardiness.
107
00:03:53,336 --> 00:03:55,373
Hey, buddy, what's, uh...
108
00:03:55,407 --> 00:03:57,064
How's it going with
the wack-a-doos?
109
00:03:57,098 --> 00:03:58,962
Ha, ha!
110
00:03:58,997 --> 00:04:02,897
I don't know if I would go
as far as call them wack-a-doos.
111
00:04:02,932 --> 00:04:05,590
I do wish you would all
address me as the High Heel.
112
00:04:05,624 --> 00:04:07,730
Shoesus Christo, be with you.
113
00:04:07,764 --> 00:04:10,560
Shoesus Christo be with you.
You need him.
114
00:04:10,595 --> 00:04:13,287
Okay, High Top, let's go.
Time for a chat.
115
00:04:13,322 --> 00:04:16,566
Someone seems to be curious
about my serenity.
116
00:04:16,601 --> 00:04:18,258
Get your ass over here! I'm so sorry.
117
00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:19,511
I mean, you can
call me Gary if you want,
118
00:04:19,535 --> 00:04:21,088
Satan, or you can call me
High Heel...
119
00:04:21,122 --> 00:04:24,264
Just shut up!
Gary. Look at you.
120
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:26,576
These people are not
your friends, okay?
121
00:04:26,611 --> 00:04:28,302
And you're nothing special.
122
00:04:28,337 --> 00:04:31,685
I am the only one
looking out for you.
123
00:04:31,719 --> 00:04:34,204
Now, listen to me.
124
00:04:34,239 --> 00:04:36,103
You look dumb. Is it the hair?
125
00:04:36,137 --> 00:04:37,587
It's the hair.
Okay?
126
00:04:37,622 --> 00:04:39,693
So, let your hair grow back,
cover up your tiny,
127
00:04:39,727 --> 00:04:41,660
little toddler
feet with your shoes,
128
00:04:41,695 --> 00:04:45,526
and I promise
I won't ever tell anyone
129
00:04:45,561 --> 00:04:47,632
very much about this again.
130
00:04:47,666 --> 00:04:50,497
Now, here, eat this.
131
00:04:50,531 --> 00:04:52,119
Will this give me enlightenment?
132
00:04:52,153 --> 00:04:54,501
No, I got it
from Benji's asshole.
133
00:04:54,535 --> 00:04:56,296
Oh. At least
it's not Eddie's.
134
00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:57,780
Right?
135
00:05:04,511 --> 00:05:08,204
Ah. The compound is coming along
nicely, High Heel.
136
00:05:08,238 --> 00:05:10,620
Satan called us
wack-a-doos.No.
137
00:05:10,655 --> 00:05:12,519
I do not know what that means.
138
00:05:12,553 --> 00:05:15,211
Is that some form
of movie-theater can-day?
139
00:05:15,245 --> 00:05:17,524
Gary, I think you need
some strength.
140
00:05:17,558 --> 00:05:21,666
Steven, may the High Heel
lie with your Barbara?
141
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:23,392
Sure.
142
00:05:23,426 --> 00:05:25,255
You see, Gary?
We're all a family.
143
00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:27,465
We all share
each other's Barbaras.
144
00:05:27,499 --> 00:05:28,983
Oh, okay.
If that is the case,
145
00:05:29,018 --> 00:05:32,711
then I would rather choose to be
with Kevin's Barbara.
146
00:05:32,746 --> 00:05:36,025
No. I was planning to lie
with Kevin's Barbara.
147
00:05:36,059 --> 00:05:37,337
Isn't that right, Kev?
148
00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:39,822
He needs his strength, dear.
149
00:05:39,856 --> 00:05:41,479
Thank you, Kev.
150
00:05:41,513 --> 00:05:43,481
Steven's Barbara is
one of the original Barbaras,
151
00:05:43,515 --> 00:05:45,068
and she'll be just fine for you.
152
00:05:45,103 --> 00:05:47,830
No offense to the O.G. Barbara,
but I'm the High Heel,
153
00:05:47,864 --> 00:05:50,833
and I think I should be able
to choose my Barbara.
154
00:05:50,867 --> 00:05:53,525
No, Gary. You see,
I'm the one that dictates
155
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,009
the apportionment
of the Barbaras.
156
00:05:55,044 --> 00:05:56,839
The Barbaras are not first come,
first serve.
157
00:05:56,873 --> 00:05:59,876
This is not some kind
of roadside Barbara buffet.
158
00:05:59,911 --> 00:06:01,509
See, it seems like
it is that way for you,
159
00:06:01,533 --> 00:06:02,914
and I am the High Heel,
160
00:06:02,948 --> 00:06:04,443
so I'd like to choose
which Barbara I'm with
161
00:06:04,467 --> 00:06:06,504
and if not, I would like
to see the Barbara rules
162
00:06:06,538 --> 00:06:07,919
and see how
the trickle-down works.
163
00:06:07,953 --> 00:06:11,405
Sure. Sure. Yes, I understand.
Oops, I've lost them.
164
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,027
All right, so, how about this?
165
00:06:13,062 --> 00:06:16,617
How about you don't get any
Barbara, if you'd prefer that?!
166
00:06:16,652 --> 00:06:20,518
I guess I'm fine
with this Barbara. There she is.
167
00:06:20,552 --> 00:06:24,384
Is it wrong to say you look
just like my Aunt Carol?
168
00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:26,869
Oh... having so much fun.
169
00:06:26,903 --> 00:06:29,043
Oh, this is a great spot.
This is a great spot.
170
00:06:29,078 --> 00:06:32,702
So, when they say to you, uh,
"You're gonna give me strength,"
171
00:06:32,737 --> 00:06:35,705
does that mean that we're doing
like full Lincoln Logging?
172
00:06:35,740 --> 00:06:39,226
I am to drain you
of your negativity.
173
00:06:39,260 --> 00:06:41,055
Semen?
174
00:06:41,090 --> 00:06:44,404
Is that what you mean?
175
00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:46,406
Here we go.
176
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,339
Whoa!
You're very strong.
177
00:06:49,374 --> 00:06:50,934
I don't want to have sex
with your feet.
178
00:06:52,998 --> 00:06:55,138
Help! Help!
179
00:06:55,173 --> 00:06:56,554
Help me!
Help!
180
00:06:56,588 --> 00:06:59,246
Relax!
It's us!
181
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:00,730
We're here to deprogram you.
182
00:07:00,765 --> 00:07:02,432
You really thought you'd be
The Chosen One?
183
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:03,561
I could be chosen.
184
00:07:03,595 --> 00:07:05,286
Nobody would ever choose you.
185
00:07:05,321 --> 00:07:07,461
But that's okay, buddy.
We still love you.
186
00:07:08,945 --> 00:07:11,810
Aah!
187
00:07:11,845 --> 00:07:13,571
Hey, how... how do you
cut it off, um...?
188
00:07:13,605 --> 00:07:15,020
How did you turn it on?
189
00:07:15,055 --> 00:07:16,677
Ohhh!
190
00:07:16,712 --> 00:07:19,369
Do the opposite of that.
191
00:07:19,404 --> 00:07:21,164
Okay, there it go.
192
00:07:21,199 --> 00:07:23,270
That's the reason why we wrote
these letters, man,
193
00:07:23,304 --> 00:07:24,685
to tell you how much we care.
194
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:29,103
"Dear Gary, I don't even
recognize the man you've become.
195
00:07:29,138 --> 00:07:31,105
I miss my friend."
196
00:07:33,660 --> 00:07:36,007
"Gary, I'm pissed off that you
and your stupid friends
197
00:07:36,041 --> 00:07:38,492
have taken over my cube.
I miss my cube. Troy."
198
00:07:38,527 --> 00:07:39,769
Turn it all the way up!
199
00:07:39,804 --> 00:07:42,013
I shit my pants!
200
00:07:42,047 --> 00:07:45,050
"Dear Gary...
you're my best friend.
201
00:07:45,085 --> 00:07:47,777
Even though I always yelled
at you and made fun of you,
202
00:07:47,812 --> 00:07:50,849
I always really, truly
looked up to you and, um...
203
00:07:50,884 --> 00:07:52,541
just never had
the strength to say."
204
00:07:52,575 --> 00:07:54,301
I'm kidding.
205
00:07:54,335 --> 00:07:55,405
I didn't write anything.
206
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:56,624
I think you're a big pile
of shit.
207
00:07:56,648 --> 00:07:59,133
You don't respect me. Claude: No.
208
00:07:59,168 --> 00:08:00,997
You don't accept my beliefs.
209
00:08:01,032 --> 00:08:03,068
That's because your beliefs
are stupid.
210
00:08:03,103 --> 00:08:06,969
Let me read from your scripture,
"The Toely Footble."
211
00:08:07,003 --> 00:08:11,801
"Adam and Barbarawere tempted
by the evil sock,
212
00:08:11,836 --> 00:08:16,668
so Shoesus cast them
from The Garden of Feeten."
213
00:08:16,703 --> 00:08:18,739
Yes, I know it is stupid
on page,
214
00:08:18,774 --> 00:08:20,327
but you should hear him sell it.
215
00:08:20,361 --> 00:08:22,167
Do you know what this guy did
before he ran a cult?
216
00:08:22,191 --> 00:08:26,057
He was a bad '80s rap artist
named M.C. Feets of Strength.
217
00:08:26,091 --> 00:08:27,645
What?
218
00:08:27,679 --> 00:08:30,026
♪ I like cute feet,
yeah, I think they're neat ♪
219
00:08:30,061 --> 00:08:32,073
♪ You know I like to smell 'em
when I'm rubbin' my meat ♪
220
00:08:32,097 --> 00:08:34,548
♪ When I suck on the toe
of a fine-ass ho ♪
221
00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:36,239
♪ Man, it makes me
wanna blow ♪
222
00:08:36,274 --> 00:08:38,345
♪ You know,
I wish that feet had a hole ♪
223
00:08:38,379 --> 00:08:40,554
♪ So I could give you my love
straight to the soul ♪
224
00:08:40,589 --> 00:08:42,694
♪ And I go for length ♪
225
00:08:42,729 --> 00:08:44,351
I thought that was pretty good.
226
00:08:44,385 --> 00:08:46,387
I gave that man $55,000.
227
00:08:46,422 --> 00:08:48,079
This guy has a foot fetish,
228
00:08:48,113 --> 00:08:49,598
and he built a religion
around it.
229
00:08:49,632 --> 00:08:52,117
I cut these holes in my feet
for nothing!
230
00:08:52,152 --> 00:08:53,429
That's okay.
Troy?
231
00:08:53,463 --> 00:08:55,224
I went over to Hot Liquids
232
00:08:55,258 --> 00:08:58,365
and got a little alloy
that's gonna fix you right up.
233
00:08:58,399 --> 00:08:59,549
I feel like maybe
we could, like,
234
00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:01,023
talk to a doctor or something
235
00:09:01,057 --> 00:09:03,232
or maybe put, like,
different kind of shoes on it.
236
00:09:03,266 --> 00:09:04,682
- Here we go.
- Okay.
237
00:09:04,716 --> 00:09:07,581
You bitch!
238
00:09:07,616 --> 00:09:09,031
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
239
00:09:09,065 --> 00:09:11,033
You son-of-a-bitch!
I know exactly who you are.
240
00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:14,139
You tried to trick me,
MC Feets of Strength!
241
00:09:14,174 --> 00:09:15,555
Shh! Shh! Your real name!
242
00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:17,418
Gary, let's take a walk
together, shall we?
243
00:09:17,453 --> 00:09:18,454
Just walk this way.
244
00:09:18,488 --> 00:09:19,938
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
245
00:09:19,973 --> 00:09:21,398
Maybe I'm having
a hard time walking,
246
00:09:21,422 --> 00:09:22,503
because you drilled holes
in my feet
247
00:09:22,527 --> 00:09:23,804
so you could them!
248
00:09:23,839 --> 00:09:25,426
All right, I made
it all up, okay, man?
249
00:09:25,461 --> 00:09:26,876
I started improvising
a little bit,
250
00:09:26,911 --> 00:09:28,889
next thing I know,
I accidently started a religion!
251
00:09:28,913 --> 00:09:31,743
I tried the music thing, but
people just weren't into feet
252
00:09:31,778 --> 00:09:33,331
as they were into giant,
gross butts.
253
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:36,058
Number one, it was a bad rap.
Number two, butts are not gross.
254
00:09:36,092 --> 00:09:37,646
You are gross.
Feet are gross.
255
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,751
But why did you have them
kill themselves?
256
00:09:39,786 --> 00:09:41,235
Three letters...
I.R.S., man.
257
00:09:41,270 --> 00:09:43,652
They were after me...
Up my ass for back taxes.
258
00:09:43,686 --> 00:09:45,343
How did I fall
for something so stupid?
259
00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:47,345
I do not know that.
260
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:49,450
♪♪
261
00:09:49,485 --> 00:09:52,074
♪ Hallelujah
262
00:09:52,108 --> 00:09:54,076
The Lacing!
263
00:09:54,110 --> 00:09:56,596
The Lacing is here!
264
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:59,184
♪♪
265
00:09:59,219 --> 00:10:01,739
Holy shit.
I was right.
266
00:10:01,773 --> 00:10:03,016
Gary, I'm sorry.
267
00:10:03,050 --> 00:10:04,465
I wish you could come with us,
268
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:05,650
but you...
You filled your holes.
269
00:10:05,674 --> 00:10:07,434
Wait!
Don't leave me!
270
00:10:07,468 --> 00:10:09,263
I'm the High Heel!
271
00:10:09,298 --> 00:10:13,026
♪ Hallelujah
272
00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:16,374
Gary, your holes...
They're back.
273
00:10:17,893 --> 00:10:19,998
I guess I am the High Heel!
274
00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:25,763
♪♪
275
00:10:25,797 --> 00:10:29,180
This is amazing.
276
00:10:29,214 --> 00:10:31,113
Please, sit. Oh, no. No, you.
277
00:10:31,147 --> 00:10:32,217
You, High Heel.
278
00:10:32,252 --> 00:10:33,874
Me? Me?
Please. Please.
279
00:10:33,909 --> 00:10:37,119
I can't believe
that the Toetopia bullshit
280
00:10:37,153 --> 00:10:38,568
you said is real.
281
00:10:38,603 --> 00:10:39,984
Yes, it truly is heaven.
282
00:10:40,018 --> 00:10:42,296
Now, we can finally have sex
with each other's feet
283
00:10:42,331 --> 00:10:43,884
without judgement.
284
00:10:43,919 --> 00:10:45,679
Well, that is my least
favorite part of it.
285
00:10:45,714 --> 00:10:48,233
Wish you had asked
my permission.
286
00:10:50,822 --> 00:10:53,204
Amazing job on Toetopia, sir.
287
00:10:53,238 --> 00:10:55,309
Cue the diarrhea.
288
00:11:01,281 --> 00:11:02,662
I knew it!
289
00:11:04,836 --> 00:11:06,804
Finish!
Finish, already!
290
00:11:06,838 --> 00:11:09,082
All: Oh!
21065
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