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1
00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:10,667
{\an8}Saint-Tropez
August 1970
2
00:01:25,667 --> 00:01:26,958
Claude, no!
3
00:01:28,625 --> 00:01:30,875
No! Okay, just a little.
4
00:01:34,583 --> 00:01:38,167
Daisy! My little love nugget,
it's bedtime.
5
00:02:54,417 --> 00:02:56,250
Cyril!
6
00:02:56,417 --> 00:02:58,125
Coming, My Lord.
7
00:03:03,542 --> 00:03:05,708
Jersey Tragedy Solved
8
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,583
Your moldy Chinese tea, sir.
9
00:03:13,750 --> 00:03:15,292
Cut the crap, Cyril.
10
00:03:15,667 --> 00:03:17,083
It's fermented tea.
11
00:03:17,250 --> 00:03:19,583
Excellent for bowel movements.
12
00:03:20,042 --> 00:03:22,208
Cleanses the intestinal flora.
13
00:03:22,375 --> 00:03:24,000
{\an8}Sisyphus Reversed
14
00:03:24,167 --> 00:03:27,875
{\an8}Lemon juice with no pulp,
toast with olive oil
15
00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:30,083
{\an8}and tepid rooibos tea.
16
00:03:31,083 --> 00:03:32,375
Not so fast!
17
00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:36,542
Sleep well, Andreas?
18
00:03:36,708 --> 00:03:37,792
Terrible.
19
00:03:37,958 --> 00:03:39,375
Agitated night.
20
00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:44,042
I caught the starlet
with the pop schmock singer.
21
00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:45,375
Oh yeah?
22
00:03:45,833 --> 00:03:48,750
Impossible! Peggy's with Norbert.
Lovely couple.
23
00:03:49,167 --> 00:03:51,542
They screwed
for hours in the hammam.
24
00:03:51,958 --> 00:03:53,958
Peggy? Norbert must be furious.
25
00:03:54,125 --> 00:03:55,458
No worries, Jacko.
26
00:03:55,625 --> 00:03:58,208
She's getting her kicks
with her stud
27
00:03:58,375 --> 00:04:00,667
and I'm not worried at all.
28
00:04:00,833 --> 00:04:01,792
He's modern.
29
00:04:02,333 --> 00:04:05,458
This is 1970,
you own a car not a woman.
30
00:04:05,958 --> 00:04:07,583
Of course, free love.
31
00:04:07,750 --> 00:04:10,333
Everyone fucks with everyone.
32
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,250
I love it.
33
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:12,542
Not me.
34
00:04:12,708 --> 00:04:15,125
If I caught Eliane with another man...
35
00:04:15,292 --> 00:04:16,250
I'd kill him!
36
00:04:17,333 --> 00:04:20,083
Don't get all upset for nothing, Claude.
37
00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:22,875
Would you lend me the Maserati?
38
00:04:23,291 --> 00:04:24,291
No.
39
00:04:25,750 --> 00:04:29,000
Ask Eliane for the Floride,
but no Maserati.
40
00:04:29,167 --> 00:04:30,375
Very well.
41
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,292
Your mutt is vicious!
42
00:04:35,750 --> 00:04:37,208
First, it's a purebred.
43
00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:40,375
Second,
she knows you don't like her.
44
00:04:40,917 --> 00:04:42,292
You're a fool.
45
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:44,875
Right, my pretty?
46
00:04:45,042 --> 00:04:46,375
She does bite.
47
00:04:46,542 --> 00:04:48,375
No she doesn't, you upset her.
48
00:04:48,542 --> 00:04:50,042
Not the same.
49
00:04:50,417 --> 00:04:51,833
Come here, my pretty.
50
00:04:53,958 --> 00:04:55,708
My little Queen of Sheba.
51
00:04:55,875 --> 00:04:57,250
If only she could talk.
52
00:04:57,417 --> 00:04:59,042
Nice night, darling?
53
00:04:59,208 --> 00:05:00,833
Keep it down. Headache.
54
00:05:03,625 --> 00:05:05,625
I see. Life as a couple...
55
00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:11,000
Eliane?
56
00:05:11,708 --> 00:05:14,250
Who's there? I'm in the shower!
57
00:05:20,458 --> 00:05:21,500
It's me, honey.
58
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:23,583
No, Jacques!
59
00:05:23,750 --> 00:05:27,083
You're crazy, he could walk in.
He's so jealous.
60
00:05:27,792 --> 00:05:29,833
He's pontificating at breakfast.
61
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,500
Nasty beast.
62
00:05:59,583 --> 00:06:02,083
Stupid dog, get the hell away.
63
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:40,708
Shit!
64
00:07:25,792 --> 00:07:28,833
Jet-Setter Nearly Dies
in Accident in Saint-Tropez
65
00:08:05,417 --> 00:08:09,000
MYSTERY IN SAINT-TROPEZ
66
00:08:09,167 --> 00:08:12,417
Investigation By Detective Boulin
67
00:08:21,958 --> 00:08:23,625
Oh, my love.
68
00:08:23,792 --> 00:08:25,667
It really is you.
69
00:08:26,792 --> 00:08:29,417
I have the new
state secretary of economy.
70
00:08:29,958 --> 00:08:31,375
Who's this asshole?
71
00:08:31,542 --> 00:08:34,833
Jacques Chirac.
I have a favor to ask, Mr. Lefranc.
72
00:08:35,207 --> 00:08:37,500
You surely know Lord Tranchant?
73
00:08:37,667 --> 00:08:38,582
Not at all.
74
00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:40,042
Chimay beer!
75
00:08:40,207 --> 00:08:43,292
The biggest European brewer.
Get with it, old boy.
76
00:08:43,457 --> 00:08:44,125
Claudine!
77
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:47,208
Get me Police Chief Mercier.
78
00:08:47,375 --> 00:08:48,792
He's on vacation.
79
00:08:48,958 --> 00:08:51,167
- He can come home.
- He's in the USA.
80
00:08:51,333 --> 00:08:52,333
Then Bénard.
81
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:55,917
He's been out depressed
since his divorce.
82
00:08:56,083 --> 00:08:57,542
His wife met a woman.
83
00:08:58,292 --> 00:08:59,667
Poor man.
84
00:09:00,458 --> 00:09:02,542
Who's left in the company?
85
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:03,667
Boulin.
86
00:09:05,917 --> 00:09:08,125
From the butcher shop fiasco?
87
00:09:08,750 --> 00:09:09,833
Yes, sir.
88
00:09:25,583 --> 00:09:26,583
Boulin.
89
00:09:29,333 --> 00:09:30,833
Boulin is here, sir.
90
00:09:31,958 --> 00:09:33,417
Come in, Boulin.
91
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:36,875
This one...
92
00:09:37,333 --> 00:09:38,875
And this one...
93
00:09:40,292 --> 00:09:42,083
- Sir.
- Good to see you again.
94
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,542
I believe we've never met.
95
00:09:45,625 --> 00:09:46,833
Oh no?
96
00:09:47,333 --> 00:09:48,417
If you say.
97
00:09:51,292 --> 00:09:53,542
The final touch
to the Siege of Toulon.
98
00:09:53,708 --> 00:09:55,417
That Bonaparte was a genius.
99
00:09:58,208 --> 00:10:00,375
I have an important mission.
100
00:10:00,542 --> 00:10:02,458
Do you know Lord Tranchant?
101
00:10:02,625 --> 00:10:06,125
The Belgian millionaire
who throws extravagant parties
102
00:10:06,292 --> 00:10:07,208
in Saint-Tropeze.
103
00:10:07,375 --> 00:10:08,875
All depraved.
104
00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:12,000
What's your problem?
105
00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:14,625
Did I ask for moral judgments?
106
00:10:15,125 --> 00:10:15,583
Danger zone!
107
00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:18,958
The lord is close to
State Secretary Chirac.
108
00:10:19,667 --> 00:10:20,708
I'll be brief.
109
00:10:20,875 --> 00:10:23,750
Lady Tranchant
has been receiving death threats
110
00:10:23,917 --> 00:10:26,250
and her Floride was sabotaged.
111
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:28,458
- Did she die?
- She wasn't driving.
112
00:10:28,625 --> 00:10:30,500
A guest took her car.
113
00:10:30,667 --> 00:10:32,542
They stole it? How uncouth.
114
00:10:33,167 --> 00:10:34,292
Who stole what?
115
00:10:34,458 --> 00:10:36,000
The Lady's car.
116
00:10:36,167 --> 00:10:37,125
Who said that?
117
00:10:39,333 --> 00:10:42,583
Lady Tranchant lent her car
to someone,
118
00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:45,208
and he had an accident.
119
00:10:45,625 --> 00:10:47,500
I see, now I understand.
120
00:10:47,667 --> 00:10:48,417
It's him.
121
00:10:48,583 --> 00:10:49,667
Him what?
122
00:10:49,833 --> 00:10:51,125
It's he who died.
123
00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:54,375
No.
124
00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:55,625
He's unharmed.
125
00:10:55,792 --> 00:10:58,292
Darn, then it's the Floride.
126
00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:00,375
Such a racy car, my wife...
127
00:11:00,542 --> 00:11:03,042
Listen here, old boy...
128
00:11:03,625 --> 00:11:05,083
Let's concentrate.
129
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:06,792
That's my strong point.
130
00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:10,708
You're smoking...
131
00:11:11,208 --> 00:11:13,708
- Far too much, I must stop.
- Imbecile!
132
00:11:13,875 --> 00:11:14,917
It's your pocket.
133
00:11:15,083 --> 00:11:16,375
Bring me water!
134
00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:17,875
I'm on fire!
135
00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:20,625
That was radical.
136
00:11:22,083 --> 00:11:24,167
I'm pissing water.
137
00:11:25,375 --> 00:11:26,750
Here it is...
138
00:11:28,083 --> 00:11:29,625
The culprit.
139
00:11:31,083 --> 00:11:33,125
The lord wishes a rapid inquiry,
140
00:11:33,542 --> 00:11:35,875
so that his celebrity guests
141
00:11:36,375 --> 00:11:39,500
might not be disturbed
during their stay.
142
00:11:39,875 --> 00:11:41,750
- Be discreet.
- Naturally.
143
00:11:41,917 --> 00:11:44,167
- What's your plan?
- Simple.
144
00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:45,875
Thirty of us show up,
145
00:11:46,042 --> 00:11:49,292
we wake the perverts at 5am
and search everything.
146
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:52,083
Then we start forceful interrogations
147
00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:53,833
using slaps if necessary.
148
00:11:54,708 --> 00:11:57,125
In 48 hours, I hand over the culprit
149
00:11:57,292 --> 00:11:59,375
and we throw him in the clink.
150
00:12:00,125 --> 00:12:04,375
Like with your regrettable affair
at the butcher shop?
151
00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:10,333
Yes, the honey-trap that went sour.
We were a bit brutal.
152
00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:11,167
Boulin!
153
00:12:12,542 --> 00:12:16,417
You will do the exact opposite
of your proposal.
154
00:12:18,208 --> 00:12:19,250
Got that, cretin?
155
00:12:19,875 --> 00:12:21,167
Loud and clear.
156
00:12:21,792 --> 00:12:25,250
This mission will make sparks fly.
157
00:12:27,833 --> 00:12:28,750
What's wrong?
158
00:12:28,917 --> 00:12:31,542
I'm fascinated by your painting.
159
00:12:31,708 --> 00:12:33,583
It recalls Velasquez's dwarves.
160
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:36,333
The painter perfectly captured
161
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:38,875
the sour-tempered hag's
mean streak.
162
00:12:39,042 --> 00:12:40,250
Don't you think?
163
00:12:40,417 --> 00:12:41,583
She's my wife.
164
00:12:43,625 --> 00:12:45,292
Very nice...
165
00:12:47,125 --> 00:12:48,208
Very nice.
166
00:12:49,125 --> 00:12:51,667
I will prove worthy
of your expectations.
167
00:12:51,833 --> 00:12:54,042
Goodbye.
My regards to the hag.
168
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,583
I mean madam, the missus.
169
00:12:58,542 --> 00:13:00,250
More fear than harm.
170
00:13:00,625 --> 00:13:02,917
To us! And to Saint-Tropeze!
171
00:13:09,208 --> 00:13:10,000
Claudine,
172
00:13:10,167 --> 00:13:11,917
bring me a double scotch.
173
00:13:36,125 --> 00:13:37,167
Lord Tranchant?
174
00:13:40,792 --> 00:13:42,125
Detective Bumpkin.
175
00:13:42,583 --> 00:13:43,708
Boulin.
176
00:13:43,875 --> 00:13:45,917
Boulin. Head Detective Jean Boulin.
177
00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:47,417
Right.
178
00:13:48,375 --> 00:13:49,542
Shall we?
179
00:13:50,208 --> 00:13:51,125
After you.
180
00:13:57,917 --> 00:13:59,083
Now that's a car!
181
00:14:00,917 --> 00:14:02,083
I'm impressed.
182
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:03,833
C'mon, let's go.
183
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,417
Detective Bumpkin?
184
00:14:05,792 --> 00:14:07,042
Boulin.
185
00:14:11,292 --> 00:14:12,875
The trunk's too small.
186
00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:16,125
I'll put the small one in the trunk.
187
00:14:17,083 --> 00:14:18,125
And the big one
188
00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:19,917
in the backseat.
189
00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:23,417
Here we go!
190
00:14:24,917 --> 00:14:26,083
Now it'll fit.
191
00:14:26,708 --> 00:14:27,917
It's too big.
192
00:14:28,083 --> 00:14:29,125
Don't worry.
193
00:14:31,458 --> 00:14:32,458
There we go.
194
00:14:33,333 --> 00:14:35,000
Slips right in.
195
00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:37,667
Excuse me,
how am I supposed to drive?
196
00:14:38,875 --> 00:14:40,042
Indeed.
197
00:14:40,208 --> 00:14:42,208
Why two huge suitcases?
198
00:14:42,375 --> 00:14:44,250
My raincoat takes up space.
199
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:45,667
Your raincoat?
200
00:14:45,833 --> 00:14:47,583
- Yes.
- In St. Tropez?
201
00:14:47,750 --> 00:14:49,167
St. Tropeze or anywhere.
202
00:14:49,625 --> 00:14:50,375
Pay.
203
00:14:51,833 --> 00:14:53,375
Pay? Pay for what?
204
00:14:53,542 --> 00:14:55,167
It's Saint "Tro-pay."
205
00:14:55,875 --> 00:14:59,750
- Last "z" isn't pronounced in French.
- Are you sure?
206
00:14:59,917 --> 00:15:03,917
One says "mer-gueze" sausage,
not "mer-gay," right?
207
00:15:06,375 --> 00:15:08,250
Whatever makes you happy.
208
00:15:08,417 --> 00:15:11,875
But your huge suitcase
will never fit inside my car.
209
00:15:12,917 --> 00:15:13,958
On the roof?
210
00:15:14,125 --> 00:15:17,125
It's not a circus van,
you'll scratch the paint.
211
00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:20,417
Put your huge suitcase in the checkroom.
212
00:15:20,583 --> 00:15:23,000
My staff will pick it up later.
213
00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:26,333
And please remove that napkin.
It's grotesque.
214
00:15:27,417 --> 00:15:30,167
I forgot to give it back. What a dumdum.
215
00:15:36,042 --> 00:15:39,125
- You smoke a lot?
- Especially after breakfast.
216
00:15:39,292 --> 00:15:40,958
I ate on the train.
217
00:15:41,125 --> 00:15:42,333
All-you-can-eat!
218
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:44,292
Even the vintage sardines.
219
00:15:44,458 --> 00:15:46,000
I did justice to it all.
220
00:15:46,167 --> 00:15:48,792
12.50 francs for the whole shebang.
221
00:15:49,625 --> 00:15:51,167
So why not splurge?
222
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:54,833
Bread, butter and crushed sardines.
Nothing better.
223
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,250
Maybe a bit heavy.
224
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:09,458
We're stopping?
225
00:16:09,625 --> 00:16:11,167
The car is here.
226
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:12,917
What car?
227
00:16:13,083 --> 00:16:17,083
The sabotaged one.
I thought you might be interested.
228
00:16:17,667 --> 00:16:18,708
Mr. Tranchant.
229
00:16:19,208 --> 00:16:20,167
Yes.
230
00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:22,542
Let me set things straight.
231
00:16:22,708 --> 00:16:24,250
I'm investigating, right?
232
00:16:24,958 --> 00:16:27,125
- Yes.
- So I'll take initiatives.
233
00:16:27,292 --> 00:16:29,167
Do you understand me?
234
00:16:30,542 --> 00:16:31,500
Alright.
235
00:16:38,958 --> 00:16:40,125
You decided yet?
236
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,125
I'm thinking.
237
00:16:48,333 --> 00:16:51,625
Since we're here,
let's go see this Renault Floride.
238
00:16:54,042 --> 00:16:55,583
No brake fluid at all.
239
00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:57,708
Sabotage, obviously.
240
00:16:58,333 --> 00:17:00,292
Are you a Renault dealer?
241
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:05,500
Mr. Castelli is a master mechanic
for Jaguar at Le Mans.
242
00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:07,500
Jaguar's not Renault.
243
00:17:07,666 --> 00:17:09,750
So don't jump to conclusions.
244
00:17:09,916 --> 00:17:11,750
I'll do the jumping.
245
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:14,541
Where is it?
246
00:17:16,333 --> 00:17:17,625
Where's the car?
247
00:17:18,291 --> 00:17:20,000
Right in front of you.
248
00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:21,791
Oh yes, I see.
249
00:17:24,541 --> 00:17:26,500
I need to check under the hood.
250
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,666
The engine's in the back.
251
00:17:29,125 --> 00:17:31,125
I know, I know!
252
00:17:31,291 --> 00:17:33,750
I'll investigate as I see fit.
253
00:17:36,542 --> 00:17:38,000
We've got a real champ.
254
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,000
I must be dreaming.
255
00:17:42,208 --> 00:17:43,125
Detective!
256
00:17:43,542 --> 00:17:44,417
You okay?
257
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:47,542
Are you hurt?
258
00:17:47,708 --> 00:17:50,458
What idiot put a hole in the garage?
259
00:17:51,083 --> 00:17:53,500
A pit under the car lift is classic.
260
00:17:54,375 --> 00:17:56,292
There wasn't even a sign!
261
00:17:59,917 --> 00:18:00,792
My goodness.
262
00:18:00,958 --> 00:18:03,125
I spotted something.
263
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:04,542
Good job, Boulin.
264
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:08,083
This bolt isn't screwed on properly.
265
00:18:09,208 --> 00:18:09,958
Don't touch!
266
00:18:10,125 --> 00:18:11,792
It's the oil pan bolt.
267
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:13,833
I say.
268
00:18:14,333 --> 00:18:15,542
It all spilled out.
269
00:18:15,708 --> 00:18:17,417
Ali, a mop!
270
00:18:17,583 --> 00:18:19,042
You were right.
271
00:18:19,875 --> 00:18:21,167
Careful with the head.
272
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:23,500
This proves it was sabot...
273
00:18:26,458 --> 00:18:27,708
It's okay, I'm fine.
274
00:18:28,833 --> 00:18:30,292
Jaguar specialist or not,
275
00:18:30,458 --> 00:18:32,250
I don't trust that Cannelloni.
276
00:18:32,417 --> 00:18:33,750
No manners.
277
00:18:35,417 --> 00:18:37,375
No! Not in my car.
278
00:18:37,542 --> 00:18:38,333
Why not?
279
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:41,208
Your jacket's full of oil.
Hand it over.
280
00:18:41,833 --> 00:18:42,708
Hurry up.
281
00:18:42,875 --> 00:18:45,458
- Treat it with care.
- Don't worry.
282
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,042
It's my favorite.
283
00:18:48,542 --> 00:18:49,750
There.
284
00:18:50,708 --> 00:18:51,917
Show me your bum.
285
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,875
Your behind.
286
00:18:56,333 --> 00:18:57,375
Oh my God.
287
00:18:57,542 --> 00:18:58,583
Take them off.
288
00:18:59,125 --> 00:19:00,292
Surely you joke.
289
00:19:00,458 --> 00:19:03,667
No one will see you
and my leather will be safe.
290
00:19:03,833 --> 00:19:05,958
We're late for lunch drinks! C'mon!
291
00:19:06,125 --> 00:19:07,042
I can't do that.
292
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:20,750
Great acceleration!
293
00:19:20,917 --> 00:19:22,125
Indeed.
294
00:19:24,083 --> 00:19:25,750
You want my opinion?
295
00:19:26,375 --> 00:19:27,458
Suspect No. 1...
296
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,042
My head chef.
297
00:19:29,875 --> 00:19:32,083
My wife wanted him fired.
298
00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:34,708
She caught him inflating bills.
299
00:19:34,875 --> 00:19:36,292
Big mistake!
300
00:19:36,458 --> 00:19:38,708
Threats have become murder attempts.
301
00:19:40,417 --> 00:19:41,542
So what do we do?
302
00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:49,625
The pig vomited on me!
303
00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:52,708
It's the cafe latte and sardines.
304
00:19:53,083 --> 00:19:55,250
I had a rock in my stomach.
305
00:19:55,708 --> 00:19:59,333
You have a rag to wipe your seat?
306
00:20:18,125 --> 00:20:19,292
Disgusting.
307
00:20:20,375 --> 00:20:23,750
Get your suitcase.
We'll take the backdoor.
308
00:20:27,208 --> 00:20:28,417
There's a man.
309
00:20:32,667 --> 00:20:34,333
Lookie here. Who's this?
310
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,208
My poochie-poo.
311
00:20:36,375 --> 00:20:37,333
Daisy.
312
00:20:37,875 --> 00:20:39,750
Careful, she's a picky girl.
313
00:20:39,917 --> 00:20:41,250
Rare intelligence.
314
00:20:41,417 --> 00:20:43,750
Good.
Because little dogs can be nasty.
315
00:20:45,125 --> 00:20:46,458
No, she's nice.
316
00:20:46,625 --> 00:20:48,000
She seems to like you.
317
00:20:48,167 --> 00:20:49,625
Did you step on a turd?
318
00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:51,667
No, it's car oil.
319
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:53,458
Nothing to do with...
320
00:20:53,625 --> 00:20:55,917
- Follow me.
- That's a nice old girl.
321
00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:00,542
Cyril. Always working.
322
00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:03,167
- You okay, Mr. Tranchant?
- Fine.
323
00:21:03,333 --> 00:21:05,833
Cyril, this is Jean.
324
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,750
The new butler.
325
00:21:07,958 --> 00:21:11,833
Be a star and clean the car.
He puked inside.
326
00:21:12,333 --> 00:21:14,375
Rub as hard as you can,
327
00:21:14,542 --> 00:21:17,208
otherwise
the missus will never get in.
328
00:21:17,625 --> 00:21:18,542
The smell.
329
00:21:18,708 --> 00:21:20,417
And take your pants off.
330
00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:21,625
Why?
331
00:21:21,792 --> 00:21:24,792
For Jean.
I'm introducing him to madam.
332
00:21:24,958 --> 00:21:26,792
- He isn't presentable.
- And me?
333
00:21:26,958 --> 00:21:28,833
You'll clean the car
334
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,292
in your shorts.
335
00:21:30,458 --> 00:21:31,625
Take this too.
336
00:21:31,792 --> 00:21:32,750
Come on.
337
00:21:33,417 --> 00:21:35,125
What's going on now?
338
00:21:35,292 --> 00:21:36,417
Eliane!
339
00:21:37,958 --> 00:21:40,875
This is Head Detective Boner.
340
00:21:41,208 --> 00:21:42,333
Sent by Chirac.
341
00:21:42,500 --> 00:21:44,500
Madam, my name is Jean Boulin.
342
00:21:44,667 --> 00:21:46,250
Head Detective Boulin.
343
00:21:46,625 --> 00:21:47,833
That's what I said.
344
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,708
Darling, you invited a cop?
345
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:52,083
He'll spoil everyone's vacation.
346
00:21:52,250 --> 00:21:53,958
He's the new butler.
347
00:21:54,292 --> 00:21:56,083
Our guests will be oblivious.
348
00:21:56,250 --> 00:21:57,667
I hope so, kitty.
349
00:22:00,583 --> 00:22:02,125
She calls me "kitty."
350
00:22:02,292 --> 00:22:03,458
But not a word.
351
00:22:03,625 --> 00:22:04,875
She's the only one.
352
00:22:05,042 --> 00:22:07,292
Why should he care what I call you?
353
00:22:07,458 --> 00:22:09,125
I'd rather explain.
354
00:22:09,292 --> 00:22:11,458
Madam, while I'm here,
355
00:22:11,625 --> 00:22:13,917
I'll ask you a few questions.
356
00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:16,125
See, he's already a pain.
357
00:22:16,792 --> 00:22:18,667
- Stop, he's a pro.
- A pain.
358
00:22:19,333 --> 00:22:20,833
Do you have enemies?
359
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,458
Damn bitch! Stupid whore!
360
00:22:29,583 --> 00:22:30,750
Sorry.
361
00:22:30,917 --> 00:22:32,167
The pain is...
362
00:22:37,542 --> 00:22:40,208
So, as far as enemies go...
363
00:22:40,375 --> 00:22:41,833
I have none.
364
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,583
Someone must be mad at you
for something.
365
00:22:44,750 --> 00:22:47,333
Who knows?
I lent Jacko my car by chance.
366
00:22:49,958 --> 00:22:51,208
And who's Jacko?
367
00:22:51,375 --> 00:22:54,000
My trustworthy best friend.
368
00:22:54,167 --> 00:22:56,500
I've known him since childhood.
369
00:22:57,875 --> 00:23:00,458
- And you call him "Jacko"?
- Yes.
370
00:23:00,625 --> 00:23:03,292
Because everyone calls him "Jacko."
371
00:23:04,125 --> 00:23:05,292
Why?
372
00:23:07,833 --> 00:23:09,542
What do you mean why?
373
00:23:09,708 --> 00:23:11,458
Because it's his nickname.
374
00:23:11,625 --> 00:23:12,833
You understand?
375
00:23:15,333 --> 00:23:17,708
Would you be so kind as to show me
376
00:23:17,875 --> 00:23:19,458
your threat letters?
377
00:23:26,833 --> 00:23:28,417
Read me a few.
378
00:23:28,667 --> 00:23:31,375
Read them yourself, they're much too...
379
00:23:32,042 --> 00:23:33,250
It's essential.
380
00:23:33,750 --> 00:23:35,042
I must hear them
381
00:23:35,208 --> 00:23:37,167
to fathom the author's profile.
382
00:23:37,333 --> 00:23:40,292
Thus the potential killer's.
Yes, it's original.
383
00:23:40,917 --> 00:23:42,875
Instinct is my method.
384
00:23:44,417 --> 00:23:48,083
Those letters are a web of folly,
profanity and humiliation.
385
00:23:48,250 --> 00:23:51,000
- You won't read them.
- Kitty.
386
00:23:51,333 --> 00:23:53,292
If this is Bumpkin's method...
387
00:23:53,458 --> 00:23:54,833
Boulin.
388
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,750
Kitty, come sit.
389
00:23:56,917 --> 00:23:58,042
Thank you, ma'am.
390
00:23:59,542 --> 00:24:01,583
Go on, I'm listening.
391
00:24:02,750 --> 00:24:03,583
Ready?
392
00:24:05,083 --> 00:24:06,083
Go on.
393
00:24:06,250 --> 00:24:07,125
Alright.
394
00:24:09,083 --> 00:24:10,792
- Go on.
- Okay, okay.
395
00:24:11,333 --> 00:24:15,000
"You are in big trouble, little slut.
396
00:24:15,833 --> 00:24:17,292
"Now that I have you,
397
00:24:17,458 --> 00:24:20,667
"I'll never leave you alone,
you scumbag."
398
00:24:21,917 --> 00:24:22,917
Banal.
399
00:24:23,417 --> 00:24:24,750
Very banal.
400
00:24:25,792 --> 00:24:26,667
Carry on.
401
00:24:27,250 --> 00:24:28,750
I must immerse myself.
402
00:24:28,917 --> 00:24:30,542
"Brace your fat behind,
403
00:24:31,750 --> 00:24:34,083
"I will snitch on your secret life."
404
00:24:35,458 --> 00:24:36,375
Very good.
405
00:24:36,958 --> 00:24:37,750
Madam.
406
00:24:39,417 --> 00:24:40,917
Have you a secret life?
407
00:24:44,625 --> 00:24:46,208
My wife, a secret life?
408
00:24:46,792 --> 00:24:48,917
Stop harassing her!
409
00:24:49,083 --> 00:24:51,167
Kitty,
splash your face with water.
410
00:24:51,333 --> 00:24:52,500
It'll calm you.
411
00:24:53,042 --> 00:24:55,125
- Alright.
- I love you.
412
00:24:57,292 --> 00:24:59,125
And I stink like sardines.
413
00:24:59,583 --> 00:25:01,542
Carry on, please. I am...
414
00:25:02,083 --> 00:25:03,542
all ears.
415
00:25:08,708 --> 00:25:10,083
"Depraved woman,
416
00:25:10,458 --> 00:25:11,792
"your time has come.
417
00:25:11,958 --> 00:25:13,500
"After having...
418
00:25:14,583 --> 00:25:16,417
"s*** off everyone,
419
00:25:16,583 --> 00:25:20,000
"you'll end up f*** in the a***."
420
00:25:20,167 --> 00:25:22,375
Now, that is not banal.
421
00:25:23,167 --> 00:25:26,292
Did they really write "S," "F," "A"?
422
00:25:26,458 --> 00:25:27,583
No!
423
00:25:28,875 --> 00:25:32,292
The words are written,
but they're very embarrassing.
424
00:25:32,458 --> 00:25:35,542
Put modesty aside, I must hear it all.
425
00:25:35,708 --> 00:25:37,667
Otherwise, it won't work.
426
00:25:37,833 --> 00:25:39,208
Carry on.
427
00:25:39,375 --> 00:25:40,875
"S"... and then?
428
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:43,167
"After having..."
429
00:25:43,333 --> 00:25:44,667
You need a drawing?
430
00:25:44,833 --> 00:25:47,125
"S" for suck.
"F-A" for fucked in the ass!
431
00:25:47,875 --> 00:25:48,875
Good God!
432
00:25:50,417 --> 00:25:52,083
Indeed, that is violent.
433
00:25:52,250 --> 00:25:53,542
Even smutty.
434
00:25:54,667 --> 00:25:56,542
It's not easy to say.
435
00:25:56,708 --> 00:25:58,417
How many did you receive?
436
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,292
Including this morning's,
437
00:26:01,458 --> 00:26:03,583
which was a drawing: "18."
438
00:26:03,750 --> 00:26:04,833
Here.
439
00:26:05,792 --> 00:26:06,958
Not bad.
440
00:26:07,417 --> 00:26:09,000
Not bad at all.
441
00:26:09,625 --> 00:26:10,542
Excuse me?
442
00:26:12,917 --> 00:26:14,208
What's not bad?
443
00:26:15,417 --> 00:26:17,583
The still life in the middle...
444
00:26:17,958 --> 00:26:19,250
The carrot.
445
00:26:19,417 --> 00:26:21,917
It's very realistic. They draw well.
446
00:26:22,292 --> 00:26:24,208
I won't bother you anymore now
447
00:26:24,375 --> 00:26:26,083
or make you read all 18.
448
00:26:26,708 --> 00:26:29,125
I'll drop by
when you have more time
449
00:26:29,292 --> 00:26:30,958
and you'll read a few more.
450
00:26:32,208 --> 00:26:35,667
You think my wife
will read you letters every day?
451
00:26:36,500 --> 00:26:40,375
I'll go undercover now as a butler.
452
00:26:43,708 --> 00:26:46,625
But I insist,
don't worry yourselves sick.
453
00:26:46,792 --> 00:26:47,583
I'm here.
454
00:26:50,375 --> 00:26:52,500
Chirac sent me a moron.
455
00:26:52,667 --> 00:26:54,583
An ace moron! A prototype.
456
00:26:55,417 --> 00:26:56,417
Children.
457
00:26:58,083 --> 00:26:59,083
Children!
458
00:27:00,083 --> 00:27:01,583
Everyone's here?
459
00:27:01,750 --> 00:27:05,208
It's vacation time
and I recall the keyword.
460
00:27:05,458 --> 00:27:07,083
Vacation time is...
461
00:27:07,250 --> 00:27:08,125
Magic.
462
00:27:09,542 --> 00:27:10,250
Louder.
463
00:27:10,417 --> 00:27:11,375
Magic!
464
00:27:14,250 --> 00:27:16,042
Joe and his new girlfriend.
465
00:27:24,958 --> 00:27:26,500
I'm so happy.
466
00:27:27,292 --> 00:27:28,750
- Peekaboo!
- Hey!
467
00:27:31,333 --> 00:27:32,833
- Bernard.
- Yes, sir.
468
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,542
Give your tray to Jean.
469
00:27:38,875 --> 00:27:40,083
Holy cow!
470
00:27:43,042 --> 00:27:43,917
Sorry.
471
00:27:46,500 --> 00:27:49,125
You've never held a tray?
Are you crippled?
472
00:27:49,292 --> 00:27:51,417
There are so many glasses.
473
00:27:51,583 --> 00:27:53,292
Yes, it's the principle.
474
00:27:53,583 --> 00:27:54,833
Give it to me.
475
00:27:56,625 --> 00:27:57,500
So.
476
00:27:57,667 --> 00:28:01,333
To your right,
the fat guy in a deckchair is Norbert.
477
00:28:01,500 --> 00:28:02,833
Movie producer.
478
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:06,542
With his latest conquest, Peggy.
A promising starlet.
479
00:28:06,708 --> 00:28:07,792
Great talent.
480
00:28:07,958 --> 00:28:11,167
Big age difference.
That's the movie industry for you.
481
00:28:12,208 --> 00:28:13,208
No.
482
00:28:13,375 --> 00:28:15,083
Go offer them a drink.
483
00:28:15,250 --> 00:28:17,667
I'll take two, it's more practical.
484
00:28:23,625 --> 00:28:24,833
I like helping out.
485
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,417
At your service!
486
00:28:29,458 --> 00:28:30,375
The tray.
487
00:28:30,792 --> 00:28:31,542
Tray.
488
00:28:31,708 --> 00:28:32,625
Take the tray.
489
00:28:32,792 --> 00:28:33,917
Of course.
490
00:28:34,792 --> 00:28:38,000
The guy with the neck brace
is Jacko.
491
00:28:38,167 --> 00:28:40,542
My best friend.
He had the accident.
492
00:28:40,708 --> 00:28:42,417
And his wife, Francine.
493
00:28:43,500 --> 00:28:45,542
The handsome young man
494
00:28:45,708 --> 00:28:47,000
is Ben, Carmen's guy.
495
00:28:48,167 --> 00:28:49,708
My wife's best friend,
496
00:28:49,875 --> 00:28:52,000
the great Carmen Moreno.
497
00:28:52,375 --> 00:28:53,583
Everyone knows her.
498
00:28:54,250 --> 00:28:55,792
Never seen her.
499
00:28:56,542 --> 00:28:57,542
Oh no?
500
00:28:58,500 --> 00:29:00,958
A Spanish Jeanne Moreau
with charisma,
501
00:29:01,125 --> 00:29:03,292
spice... and exotism.
502
00:29:03,458 --> 00:29:06,167
I know Jeanne Moreau.
She's really famous.
503
00:29:08,042 --> 00:29:09,667
Avoid comments like that.
504
00:29:11,208 --> 00:29:13,708
You might ruffle feathers.
505
00:29:13,875 --> 00:29:16,625
Claude, look who's here!
506
00:29:17,417 --> 00:29:19,458
I know him, that's Joe Jordan.
507
00:29:19,625 --> 00:29:22,917
I saw him on the Guy Lux awards.
My wife loves him.
508
00:29:24,292 --> 00:29:25,250
Claudio.
509
00:29:25,750 --> 00:29:26,875
Joe!
510
00:29:28,375 --> 00:29:31,125
- You know Angela?
- I haven't had the pleasure.
511
00:29:31,292 --> 00:29:33,875
- Hello.
- Best backup vocalist in Paris.
512
00:29:34,042 --> 00:29:35,417
I stole her from Johnny.
513
00:29:35,583 --> 00:29:36,875
You don't say.
514
00:29:39,458 --> 00:29:41,583
I'll borrow her a minute.
515
00:29:43,500 --> 00:29:44,708
She's amazing.
516
00:29:45,250 --> 00:29:47,375
You bet, Joe. Hot stuff!
517
00:29:53,125 --> 00:29:54,125
Avoid that too.
518
00:29:54,292 --> 00:29:55,292
Really?
519
00:29:55,458 --> 00:29:56,167
Of course.
520
00:29:58,417 --> 00:30:00,167
Carrying on, to your left.
521
00:30:00,333 --> 00:30:03,500
The guy with muscles in the pool
is a sculptor.
522
00:30:03,667 --> 00:30:05,750
The cap over there: Andreas.
523
00:30:06,375 --> 00:30:07,750
Greek filmmaker.
524
00:30:07,917 --> 00:30:11,667
With a tiny swimsuit like that,
may as well be naked.
525
00:30:13,958 --> 00:30:15,208
Andreas!
526
00:30:16,833 --> 00:30:19,542
Say, is the "Cap" a little dotty?
527
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,625
What do you mean by...
528
00:30:25,833 --> 00:30:27,042
"dotty"?
529
00:30:27,458 --> 00:30:29,792
You're investigating a murder attempt.
530
00:30:29,958 --> 00:30:32,583
Of course, who cares if he's dotty.
531
00:30:33,167 --> 00:30:34,333
I'm off.
532
00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:36,208
I'm coming.
533
00:30:46,250 --> 00:30:47,250
Want to swim?
534
00:30:47,708 --> 00:30:49,083
The water's great.
535
00:30:49,708 --> 00:30:51,125
No thanks, Gabriel.
536
00:30:51,292 --> 00:30:53,750
I'm reading my script again.
537
00:30:53,917 --> 00:30:57,583
I must grasp the conceptual identity
of my character.
538
00:30:57,750 --> 00:31:00,000
That's easy, all she does is fuck.
539
00:31:00,167 --> 00:31:01,333
You tire me.
540
00:31:01,500 --> 00:31:03,125
Ben, you're insensitive.
541
00:31:03,292 --> 00:31:05,375
Sex is revolutionary.
542
00:31:05,542 --> 00:31:08,500
We must destroy
the barriers of bourgeois society.
543
00:31:08,667 --> 00:31:09,875
You're right, Dede.
544
00:31:10,375 --> 00:31:12,750
Andreas! My name is Andreas!
545
00:31:12,917 --> 00:31:14,292
Never call me "Dede"!
546
00:31:14,458 --> 00:31:16,625
"Dede" is vulgar, shit.
547
00:31:16,792 --> 00:31:17,583
Cock! Balls!
548
00:31:17,750 --> 00:31:19,250
You see, kitty.
549
00:31:19,417 --> 00:31:20,250
Claude!
550
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:22,708
He makes everyone uptight.
551
00:31:23,167 --> 00:31:26,958
Starting with me.
But now that he's here, we'll make do.
552
00:31:34,417 --> 00:31:38,375
I won't stand for your shenanigans
with Eliane like last year.
553
00:31:38,542 --> 00:31:40,125
I'm no third wheel.
554
00:31:41,083 --> 00:31:43,167
What are you talking about?
555
00:31:43,333 --> 00:31:44,958
You're my everything.
556
00:31:45,125 --> 00:31:46,708
Stop lying, I'm not a kid.
557
00:31:48,042 --> 00:31:51,000
If I catch you together,
I'll kill you both.
558
00:31:52,375 --> 00:31:53,750
I brought my Browning.
559
00:31:53,917 --> 00:31:56,083
Francine, have you lost a screw?
560
00:31:57,375 --> 00:31:59,125
A Porto flip?
561
00:31:59,292 --> 00:32:01,750
One double pastis and a Perrier-lemon.
562
00:32:01,917 --> 00:32:05,042
- That brace must be awkward.
- Yeah.
563
00:32:05,208 --> 00:32:06,250
Some accident.
564
00:32:06,417 --> 00:32:07,583
Speeding?
565
00:32:07,750 --> 00:32:10,417
I know how to drive,
spare me your comments.
566
00:32:11,375 --> 00:32:14,417
- Drinking?
- Is this a police interrogation?
567
00:32:14,583 --> 00:32:15,708
Get lost!
568
00:32:15,875 --> 00:32:18,167
Friends!
569
00:32:18,333 --> 00:32:19,708
Lunch is served!
570
00:32:20,167 --> 00:32:23,458
Go get changed.
Jean will bring your drinks.
571
00:32:24,375 --> 00:32:27,208
Two minutes, darling. Just a quick dip.
572
00:32:30,875 --> 00:32:31,708
Miss.
573
00:32:35,875 --> 00:32:37,542
Please hold this for me.
574
00:32:38,875 --> 00:32:41,208
I want my swimsuit dry for lunch.
575
00:32:41,375 --> 00:32:42,250
Of course.
576
00:32:50,167 --> 00:32:54,042
When do we get the money
to make this film?
577
00:32:54,208 --> 00:32:55,583
Eliane said
578
00:32:55,750 --> 00:32:58,875
your script was incomprehensible
and unmarketable.
579
00:32:59,042 --> 00:33:01,083
Why does that cunt know?
580
00:33:01,958 --> 00:33:03,708
Hey, she's my godmother.
581
00:33:03,875 --> 00:33:05,292
Don't insult her.
582
00:33:05,667 --> 00:33:06,833
My little Ben.
583
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,292
Give us a minute.
584
00:33:08,667 --> 00:33:11,083
This conversation doesn't concern you.
585
00:33:11,250 --> 00:33:13,000
Go smoke a joint outside.
586
00:33:16,292 --> 00:33:19,292
Your Porto flip, young man.
I forgot it earlier.
587
00:33:19,542 --> 00:33:22,458
How dare she say
my film is unmarketable!
588
00:33:22,625 --> 00:33:25,292
I could have had
Liz Taylor for your role.
589
00:33:25,458 --> 00:33:27,333
But I refused, for you.
590
00:33:27,500 --> 00:33:30,375
And now your millionaire bitch
is dumping us.
591
00:33:30,542 --> 00:33:32,667
I'm warning you, I'll kill her.
592
00:33:34,167 --> 00:33:35,333
You're a brute.
593
00:33:38,167 --> 00:33:40,125
What are you doing here, bellboy?
594
00:33:40,292 --> 00:33:41,917
I knocked, didn't you hear?
595
00:33:42,083 --> 00:33:44,542
I brought Miss Moreno's Porto flip.
596
00:33:45,250 --> 00:33:46,625
How sweet.
597
00:33:46,792 --> 00:33:48,708
Thank you, Nestor.
598
00:33:49,625 --> 00:33:50,833
Jean.
599
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,458
- You got a joint?
- No, sorry.
600
00:33:53,625 --> 00:33:54,792
Then get out.
601
00:33:57,500 --> 00:33:59,333
C'mon, hurry up.
602
00:34:00,125 --> 00:34:01,375
Nothing's ready.
603
00:34:01,833 --> 00:34:02,875
C'mon.
604
00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:04,875
Monique! Bernard!
605
00:34:05,417 --> 00:34:09,167
Don't help me, okay?
I do everything around here.
606
00:34:10,042 --> 00:34:11,292
What're you doing?
607
00:34:11,458 --> 00:34:12,833
Having a snack.
608
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:16,083
I threw up earlier
and my stomach is gurgling.
609
00:34:16,250 --> 00:34:19,375
I don't give a shit.
Take a tray and follow me.
610
00:34:19,792 --> 00:34:21,125
Everyone, let's go.
611
00:34:27,375 --> 00:34:30,833
Swallow!
You don't serve with a full mouth.
612
00:34:36,208 --> 00:34:40,708
On today's menu,
we have giant Guernsey langoustines,
613
00:34:40,875 --> 00:34:42,542
red-currant vinaigrette,
614
00:34:42,917 --> 00:34:45,333
mayonnaise whipped with fresh herbs,
615
00:34:45,500 --> 00:34:47,500
and fattened chicken broth.
616
00:34:48,083 --> 00:34:49,917
Jean, good grief. Drink water.
617
00:34:50,083 --> 00:34:52,750
Cyril, we didn't understand a word.
618
00:34:53,417 --> 00:34:54,875
The idiot's coughing.
619
00:34:55,042 --> 00:34:58,333
Sorry,
I have a crumb stuck in my glottis.
620
00:34:58,500 --> 00:34:59,708
I'll say it again.
621
00:35:00,417 --> 00:35:02,625
Serve us, we'll figure it out.
622
00:35:03,458 --> 00:35:06,375
And we start with the hostess,
who is me.
623
00:35:34,375 --> 00:35:35,833
And the blind man said:
624
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:37,458
"Give me back my eye."
625
00:35:41,458 --> 00:35:43,375
Unbelievable!
626
00:35:47,167 --> 00:35:49,625
Eliane,
did you know your ex was here?
627
00:35:50,875 --> 00:35:51,708
Well, he is.
628
00:35:52,625 --> 00:35:55,375
The ageing beau with his boring play.
629
00:35:55,542 --> 00:35:56,458
My lords!
630
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:58,542
O, virtuous ministers!
631
00:35:58,708 --> 00:36:00,542
O, faithful senators!
632
00:36:01,458 --> 00:36:02,875
Have you eaten, darling?
633
00:36:03,042 --> 00:36:05,292
I wouldn't dream of taking your food.
634
00:36:05,458 --> 00:36:07,000
Meals aren't copious here.
635
00:36:07,583 --> 00:36:09,625
Belgian brewers are ever so mean.
636
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:14,667
Your unbearable annual visits
are packed with laughs.
637
00:36:15,333 --> 00:36:16,333
Thank you.
638
00:36:16,500 --> 00:36:18,625
- Kitty, don't start.
- He started.
639
00:36:18,792 --> 00:36:20,208
He annoys me.
640
00:36:20,375 --> 00:36:22,208
It's been 10 years, right?
641
00:36:22,375 --> 00:36:23,375
That's right.
642
00:36:23,542 --> 00:36:24,625
Kitty, scoot over
643
00:36:24,792 --> 00:36:26,667
and give your seat to Yves.
644
00:36:26,958 --> 00:36:27,792
Me?
645
00:36:27,958 --> 00:36:31,000
That way the actors can talk shop.
646
00:36:31,167 --> 00:36:33,542
Their conversations bore you stiff.
647
00:36:33,708 --> 00:36:36,292
It's not their conversations, it's him.
648
00:36:36,458 --> 00:36:37,458
Thanks, buddy.
649
00:36:38,333 --> 00:36:40,458
You must be an actress.
650
00:36:40,625 --> 00:36:42,000
You're ravishing.
651
00:36:43,208 --> 00:36:45,250
I was in Alain Delon's last film.
652
00:36:45,792 --> 00:36:47,250
He's joining me here.
653
00:36:47,417 --> 00:36:49,042
I adore Alain!
654
00:36:49,208 --> 00:36:50,667
We've often chased
655
00:36:50,833 --> 00:36:51,875
the same women.
656
00:36:52,042 --> 00:36:54,125
Darling, aged-cheese soufflé...
657
00:36:54,292 --> 00:36:55,500
Tempted?
658
00:36:55,667 --> 00:36:57,833
Tempted? I love Cyril's soufflés.
659
00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:58,750
I know!
660
00:36:58,917 --> 00:36:59,667
Cyril!
661
00:37:01,917 --> 00:37:03,792
Sir, so nice to see you.
662
00:37:03,958 --> 00:37:06,208
Let me try your aged-cheese thing.
663
00:37:06,375 --> 00:37:09,125
- I can't, no more eggs.
- How's that?
664
00:37:09,875 --> 00:37:11,458
Cucumber and cream?
665
00:37:11,958 --> 00:37:13,875
No, I'll have some salami.
666
00:37:14,083 --> 00:37:15,500
I'm teasing.
667
00:37:16,500 --> 00:37:17,958
Some nice salami.
668
00:37:18,583 --> 00:37:20,333
His voice hasn't broken yet?
669
00:37:20,500 --> 00:37:22,750
I'm not sure it ever will.
670
00:37:23,292 --> 00:37:25,167
Salami, stupid moron.
671
00:37:25,333 --> 00:37:26,542
No taste.
672
00:37:28,208 --> 00:37:30,750
- I've got plenty of eggs!
- You sure do.
673
00:37:30,917 --> 00:37:33,083
Who's the bitch think she is?
Plate!
674
00:37:33,250 --> 00:37:35,667
Why do you call her a bitch?
675
00:37:35,833 --> 00:37:38,042
- She screws everyone.
- Everyone?
676
00:37:38,208 --> 00:37:41,167
Especially Jacko.
They get off every afternoon.
677
00:37:41,333 --> 00:37:42,833
That's awful to say.
678
00:37:43,333 --> 00:37:45,542
The truth is awful, Monique?
679
00:37:45,708 --> 00:37:48,125
You must really be mad at her.
680
00:37:48,667 --> 00:37:51,625
- Are you jealous, chef?
- Of what?
681
00:37:52,083 --> 00:37:53,500
Here.
682
00:37:57,667 --> 00:37:59,000
Ass-licker.
683
00:37:59,458 --> 00:38:00,542
I don't trust him.
684
00:38:00,708 --> 00:38:02,792
Four months on tour...
685
00:38:02,958 --> 00:38:05,750
200 performances
in amazing French towns.
686
00:38:06,458 --> 00:38:08,542
You should've come to Toulon.
687
00:38:08,708 --> 00:38:09,708
We hate Toulon.
688
00:38:10,083 --> 00:38:11,458
- Asshole.
- Say what?
689
00:38:11,625 --> 00:38:12,958
Nothing.
690
00:38:13,125 --> 00:38:15,625
Jean, I never drink rosé!
691
00:38:15,792 --> 00:38:17,708
Sorry, the chef didn't tell me.
692
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,000
Damn pain.
693
00:38:33,167 --> 00:38:34,792
Who is that guy?
694
00:38:35,167 --> 00:38:37,542
Madam's ex.
My Lord can't stand him.
695
00:38:37,708 --> 00:38:40,167
There's a big bone of contention.
696
00:38:40,333 --> 00:38:41,625
Another one?
697
00:38:43,875 --> 00:38:46,083
No time to even season it.
698
00:38:47,083 --> 00:38:48,167
Coming, madam.
699
00:38:48,333 --> 00:38:51,125
- The cunt.
- Don't worry, chef, I'll do it.
700
00:38:51,458 --> 00:38:52,917
Flower of salt
701
00:38:53,083 --> 00:38:55,333
and a light trickle of olive oil.
702
00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:57,583
- They'll let me know.
- Roger.
703
00:39:03,292 --> 00:39:04,292
Darn!
704
00:39:07,917 --> 00:39:09,583
That's much too much.
705
00:39:10,833 --> 00:39:12,625
I'm afraid and I get seasick.
706
00:39:12,792 --> 00:39:16,083
In 1947, how many
sea urchin species were there?
707
00:39:16,750 --> 00:39:17,792
I wasn't born.
708
00:39:17,958 --> 00:39:19,833
250 species.
709
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,042
That's all?
I'd have said 10 billion.
710
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,208
I'm talking about species, Peggy.
711
00:39:25,375 --> 00:39:28,042
Not sea urchins. You can't count those.
712
00:39:28,500 --> 00:39:29,458
Jean!
713
00:39:29,625 --> 00:39:31,250
Forget the sea urchins.
714
00:39:31,417 --> 00:39:32,917
Lower the dish.
715
00:39:37,125 --> 00:39:38,167
My velvet pants!
716
00:39:38,333 --> 00:39:39,833
They cost a fortune.
717
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,250
Why'd you do that?
718
00:39:41,875 --> 00:39:43,750
Nut-sack! Double nut-sack!
719
00:39:44,958 --> 00:39:46,417
Daisy, no!
720
00:39:46,583 --> 00:39:49,458
You have cholesterol.
Come here, angel.
721
00:39:50,833 --> 00:39:52,250
What happened?
722
00:39:52,417 --> 00:39:55,250
- You see...
- The fish fell on the ground.
723
00:39:55,417 --> 00:39:56,667
It was the oil.
724
00:39:57,458 --> 00:39:58,542
Who dropped it?
725
00:39:58,708 --> 00:39:59,750
Jean, of course.
726
00:40:01,833 --> 00:40:02,708
Bastard!
727
00:40:03,958 --> 00:40:06,000
You're out to ruin my lunch!
728
00:40:11,167 --> 00:40:12,958
Do something, separate them!
729
00:40:13,125 --> 00:40:15,167
I can't, I'm playing next week.
730
00:40:16,333 --> 00:40:17,458
Calm down!
731
00:40:26,833 --> 00:40:30,375
I'm sorry, but I saw red
when he sabotaged my fish.
732
00:40:30,542 --> 00:40:31,375
Asshole!
733
00:40:31,542 --> 00:40:32,542
Enough!
734
00:40:32,708 --> 00:40:33,792
Enough.
735
00:40:33,958 --> 00:40:36,000
It's the past, now we move on.
736
00:40:36,167 --> 00:40:38,125
Please, I'm an orphan.
737
00:40:38,292 --> 00:40:41,375
When you hired me,
I made a transference.
738
00:40:41,542 --> 00:40:43,958
I consider you like my parents.
739
00:40:44,500 --> 00:40:46,667
I can't sleep alone in the dark!
740
00:40:48,542 --> 00:40:50,333
Stop that, you pervert!
741
00:40:50,875 --> 00:40:51,708
Come here.
742
00:40:51,875 --> 00:40:53,750
Despite appearances,
743
00:40:53,917 --> 00:40:55,708
we love you very much.
744
00:40:55,875 --> 00:40:57,292
Thank you, madam,
745
00:40:57,667 --> 00:40:59,500
for your kindness and class.
746
00:40:59,958 --> 00:41:01,417
Now make up with Jean.
747
00:41:01,583 --> 00:41:03,333
What's the keyword?
748
00:41:03,500 --> 00:41:04,958
Vacation time is magic!
749
00:41:05,125 --> 00:41:07,000
- Now kiss.
- What?
750
00:41:07,167 --> 00:41:08,375
Kiss and make up.
751
00:41:09,875 --> 00:41:11,417
Go on.
752
00:41:11,583 --> 00:41:12,750
I'm sorry.
753
00:41:13,292 --> 00:41:14,708
Stay away or you die.
754
00:41:14,875 --> 00:41:16,042
He threatened me!
755
00:41:17,542 --> 00:41:19,042
- A tiny threat.
- Stop.
756
00:41:20,083 --> 00:41:22,083
Back to work.
757
00:41:23,792 --> 00:41:25,417
We'll retain his pay.
758
00:41:25,583 --> 00:41:27,917
Yes, sweetheart.
I'm very disappointed.
759
00:41:32,792 --> 00:41:33,708
Monique.
760
00:41:34,292 --> 00:41:36,875
Did Mr. Delon call while I was swimming?
761
00:41:37,042 --> 00:41:39,125
I would've told you, miss.
762
00:41:42,708 --> 00:41:44,833
Carmen, darling. It's Eliane.
763
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:46,458
Meet me in 10 minutes
764
00:41:46,625 --> 00:41:47,625
at the hammam.
765
00:41:47,792 --> 00:41:50,083
Perfect. I'll be there, darling.
766
00:41:50,250 --> 00:41:51,583
See you!
767
00:41:53,250 --> 00:41:55,625
- Coming?
- No, I'm reading a script.
768
00:41:55,792 --> 00:41:58,125
- I have projects too.
- Very good.
769
00:42:02,833 --> 00:42:04,750
I've been waiting 10 minutes.
770
00:42:04,917 --> 00:42:06,917
Sorry, darling. It's Ben.
771
00:42:08,750 --> 00:42:10,250
He's getting so boring.
772
00:42:10,417 --> 00:42:13,167
Then do like me, get a lover.
773
00:42:13,333 --> 00:42:18,542
You'll never find a man
who gives you security and good times.
774
00:42:18,708 --> 00:42:20,708
Darling, you're so wise.
775
00:42:21,167 --> 00:42:22,708
Gabriel.
776
00:42:23,833 --> 00:42:26,708
Little swimsuit, big willy.
He's mad about you.
777
00:42:26,875 --> 00:42:27,708
You think?
778
00:42:27,875 --> 00:42:28,750
Why not?
779
00:42:29,583 --> 00:42:31,833
- You're right!
- What's her problem?
780
00:42:32,375 --> 00:42:33,750
Look!
781
00:42:33,917 --> 00:42:36,792
- Her mascara ran.
- She looks terrible.
782
00:42:37,167 --> 00:42:38,417
It's horrible.
783
00:42:38,583 --> 00:42:42,042
Delon's people won't let me talk to him.
784
00:42:44,708 --> 00:42:47,500
- How ugly.
- Laura, you're ridiculous.
785
00:42:47,667 --> 00:42:50,708
My God,
these actresses have birdbrains.
786
00:42:50,958 --> 00:42:52,417
Her, an actress?
787
00:42:52,583 --> 00:42:53,792
I doubt that.
788
00:42:54,625 --> 00:42:57,667
I'll go see her.
We'll have to cancel the hammam.
789
00:42:58,458 --> 00:42:59,667
Laura!
790
00:43:04,208 --> 00:43:07,125
Was Eliane flirting with you
at you at lunch?
791
00:43:08,542 --> 00:43:09,875
You're paranoid.
792
00:43:10,625 --> 00:43:13,208
She pays me no special attention.
793
00:43:24,458 --> 00:43:26,083
What's this stupid thing?
794
00:43:31,833 --> 00:43:34,458
Boss,
I'm not disturbing you on vacation?
795
00:43:34,625 --> 00:43:35,625
Yes, I'm working.
796
00:43:36,417 --> 00:43:38,167
International conference.
797
00:43:38,333 --> 00:43:39,542
What do you want?
798
00:43:39,708 --> 00:43:41,625
I'm calling because...
799
00:43:42,208 --> 00:43:44,000
I've made serious headway.
800
00:43:44,167 --> 00:43:46,167
I have several suspects.
801
00:43:46,333 --> 00:43:48,333
I'd prefer one: the right one.
802
00:43:48,500 --> 00:43:50,333
Yes, sir.
At the top of the list,
803
00:43:50,500 --> 00:43:51,667
there's the lord.
804
00:43:51,833 --> 00:43:55,917
Kitty's wife is cheating
and that's an undeniable motive.
805
00:43:56,083 --> 00:43:57,250
Who's "kitty"?
806
00:43:57,417 --> 00:43:58,708
Kitty is the lord.
807
00:43:59,250 --> 00:44:00,458
Does he know?
808
00:44:00,625 --> 00:44:02,875
- Not at all.
- Then where's his motive?
809
00:44:03,042 --> 00:44:03,792
What?
810
00:44:03,958 --> 00:44:06,375
If he doesn't know,
where's his motive?
811
00:44:09,042 --> 00:44:11,125
Right, boss. You got me there.
812
00:44:11,292 --> 00:44:12,625
There you go again
813
00:44:12,792 --> 00:44:14,500
with your wrong certainties.
814
00:44:15,625 --> 00:44:17,083
This is odd, Boss.
815
00:44:17,250 --> 00:44:20,625
There's someone
in the garden wearing a wetsuit.
816
00:44:20,792 --> 00:44:22,042
You're by the sea.
817
00:44:22,208 --> 00:44:23,458
People go diving
818
00:44:23,625 --> 00:44:24,833
in wetsuits.
819
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:26,625
True, it's not unusual.
820
00:44:26,792 --> 00:44:28,833
So who is suspect No. 1,
821
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,125
if No. 1 is no longer the lord?
822
00:44:31,583 --> 00:44:33,458
- It's Cap.
- Who's "Cap"?
823
00:44:33,625 --> 00:44:35,667
A Greek filmmaker.
824
00:44:35,833 --> 00:44:38,500
My Lady refuses
to finance his new film.
825
00:44:38,667 --> 00:44:39,833
I heard him say:
826
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,667
"I'll kill her."
That's the Greek accent.
827
00:44:42,833 --> 00:44:44,250
Then we have him.
828
00:44:44,417 --> 00:44:45,833
No, no, no.
829
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,667
I have no formal proof.
830
00:44:48,083 --> 00:44:49,750
What about the head chef?
831
00:44:49,917 --> 00:44:51,208
No motive.
832
00:44:51,375 --> 00:44:53,042
How can you be so sure?
833
00:44:53,208 --> 00:44:54,750
The staff is good-natured.
834
00:44:54,917 --> 00:44:57,542
They've become friends.
Trust my intuition.
835
00:44:57,708 --> 00:44:58,417
Careful,
836
00:44:58,583 --> 00:45:00,083
remain objective.
837
00:45:00,250 --> 00:45:01,417
Are you a Communist?
838
00:45:01,792 --> 00:45:03,125
Of course not, Boss.
839
00:45:03,583 --> 00:45:04,708
Say there...
840
00:45:06,250 --> 00:45:07,417
This is odd,
841
00:45:07,583 --> 00:45:09,500
the wetsuit has a rake.
842
00:45:09,667 --> 00:45:11,583
A rake in a garden is normal.
843
00:45:11,750 --> 00:45:14,167
- People need to rake.
- You're right.
844
00:45:14,333 --> 00:45:15,458
Maurice!
845
00:45:15,875 --> 00:45:17,500
We want to play croquet.
846
00:45:17,917 --> 00:45:19,750
I have to go, I have work.
847
00:45:23,708 --> 00:45:24,875
He's awfully blunt.
848
00:45:47,708 --> 00:45:49,250
You like my Apache?
849
00:45:49,417 --> 00:45:50,750
Oh, it's an Apache?
850
00:45:51,750 --> 00:45:54,958
Can't say I like it,
but since it's an Apache...
851
00:45:55,125 --> 00:45:56,417
It's kind of cute.
852
00:45:57,042 --> 00:45:59,042
Does the bow work?
853
00:45:59,208 --> 00:46:00,333
Of course it does.
854
00:46:02,583 --> 00:46:03,417
Sir?
855
00:46:04,125 --> 00:46:05,458
Come here, please.
856
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:08,917
My Lady.
857
00:46:09,083 --> 00:46:10,875
I received another letter.
858
00:46:11,042 --> 00:46:12,375
Show me.
859
00:46:14,833 --> 00:46:17,042
"Time's up, tonight you're dead."
860
00:46:17,208 --> 00:46:20,500
Apparently,
something will occur tonight.
861
00:46:22,792 --> 00:46:23,667
Good news.
862
00:46:24,708 --> 00:46:26,667
- Excuse me.
- He's cornered.
863
00:46:26,833 --> 00:46:28,125
He'll reveal himself.
864
00:46:28,292 --> 00:46:30,500
This proves my method was correct.
865
00:46:33,167 --> 00:46:35,333
I'm calling off the pirate party.
866
00:46:35,500 --> 00:46:38,083
We'll stay at a hotel.
I'm calling Barclay.
867
00:46:39,500 --> 00:46:42,375
I will not give in
to a silly anonymous letter.
868
00:46:42,583 --> 00:46:44,750
Eddie and Joe would be very upset.
869
00:46:44,917 --> 00:46:46,958
You're right, change nothing.
870
00:46:47,125 --> 00:46:48,167
To the contrary.
871
00:46:48,333 --> 00:46:49,417
Help!
872
00:46:50,083 --> 00:46:51,000
We're locked in!
873
00:46:53,292 --> 00:46:54,500
Breathe.
874
00:47:02,125 --> 00:47:03,417
I'll nab him tonight.
875
00:47:03,583 --> 00:47:04,875
Don't worry, kitty.
876
00:47:05,250 --> 00:47:06,833
I'll organize a trap
877
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:08,417
no one will soon forget.
878
00:47:10,083 --> 00:47:11,167
Sweetie...
879
00:47:12,333 --> 00:47:13,708
don't worry.
880
00:47:14,875 --> 00:47:15,750
I'm prepared.
881
00:47:15,917 --> 00:47:16,708
Help!
882
00:47:16,875 --> 00:47:17,667
What's that?
883
00:47:18,917 --> 00:47:21,292
My Lord, after you. Hurry.
884
00:47:23,167 --> 00:47:24,417
He's bright red.
885
00:47:24,833 --> 00:47:26,833
Jacko, careful!
886
00:47:27,083 --> 00:47:28,375
Breathe.
887
00:47:28,542 --> 00:47:30,167
He's not red, he's purple.
888
00:47:32,417 --> 00:47:33,750
Drink slowly.
889
00:47:40,542 --> 00:47:42,875
- He's less purple.
- That woke him up.
890
00:47:43,042 --> 00:47:45,250
This door is impossible to block.
891
00:47:45,417 --> 00:47:47,667
If the door was blocked, kitty...
892
00:47:48,125 --> 00:47:49,292
He calls you kitty?
893
00:47:49,458 --> 00:47:51,250
It's Eliane's doing.
894
00:47:51,417 --> 00:47:53,458
Why would this door be blocked?
895
00:47:59,542 --> 00:48:00,792
Detective Boulin.
896
00:48:00,958 --> 00:48:03,167
Maurice! Phone call.
897
00:48:03,333 --> 00:48:04,375
What now?
898
00:48:04,542 --> 00:48:08,917
Sorry to bother you
at your conference, but I have news.
899
00:48:09,083 --> 00:48:11,417
- The crime is for tonight.
- You sure?
900
00:48:11,583 --> 00:48:12,542
What'll you do?
901
00:48:12,708 --> 00:48:15,167
A honey-trap at the pirate beach party.
902
00:48:15,333 --> 00:48:17,333
Honey-trap? You're scaring me.
903
00:48:17,500 --> 00:48:18,250
Tonight,
904
00:48:18,417 --> 00:48:21,417
he or she will assault My Lady.
905
00:48:21,583 --> 00:48:23,833
And I'll nab them. It's inevitable.
906
00:48:24,333 --> 00:48:27,125
I'll send the local gendarmes as backup.
907
00:48:27,292 --> 00:48:29,417
I don't need backup.
908
00:48:29,583 --> 00:48:31,083
They'll foil my trap.
909
00:48:31,250 --> 00:48:34,125
- I'll take the risk.
- Look, I nab the culprit
910
00:48:34,292 --> 00:48:36,708
- and madam dies.
- You're joking?
911
00:48:36,875 --> 00:48:38,083
Of course I am.
912
00:48:38,250 --> 00:48:40,792
Just trying
to lighten up the atmosphere.
913
00:48:47,708 --> 00:48:49,417
Hello, Boss...
914
00:48:50,125 --> 00:48:51,583
This is Alain Delon.
915
00:48:52,125 --> 00:48:54,042
- Alain Delon?
- In person.
916
00:48:54,250 --> 00:48:56,667
I'm talking to Alain Delon?
917
00:48:56,833 --> 00:48:58,500
Is Laura there?
918
00:48:58,667 --> 00:49:00,083
- Laura?
- The Italian.
919
00:49:00,250 --> 00:49:02,458
Of course. You want to talk to her?
920
00:49:02,625 --> 00:49:03,667
No, not at all.
921
00:49:03,833 --> 00:49:06,417
You don't want to talk to her. Alright.
922
00:49:06,583 --> 00:49:08,833
- Coming to the pirate party?
- No.
923
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:11,250
Not coming to the pirate party.
924
00:49:11,417 --> 00:49:13,375
I'll give her the message.
925
00:49:14,042 --> 00:49:16,917
- She'll be disappointed.
- Mind your business.
926
00:49:17,083 --> 00:49:18,583
Mind my business.
927
00:49:19,792 --> 00:49:21,958
He hung up on me too.
928
00:49:22,167 --> 00:49:24,125
Bad manners must be the fashion.
929
00:49:27,792 --> 00:49:29,833
- Ouch!
- What're you doing?
930
00:49:30,583 --> 00:49:31,750
Everyone's waiting.
931
00:49:31,917 --> 00:49:33,542
I thought it might be good
932
00:49:33,708 --> 00:49:35,417
if I dressed as Mr. Smee.
933
00:49:35,583 --> 00:49:37,083
It'd be a great cover.
934
00:49:37,250 --> 00:49:39,500
No, you'll take the dogs to pee.
935
00:49:39,667 --> 00:49:41,000
That's a great cover.
936
00:49:42,375 --> 00:49:45,125
That's too bad, I love Mr. Smee.
937
00:49:45,417 --> 00:49:47,542
He's always been my hero.
938
00:50:09,042 --> 00:50:11,500
Captain, the boat is too far away.
939
00:50:12,292 --> 00:50:14,083
Our costumes will be soaked.
940
00:50:14,250 --> 00:50:17,250
It's 8 inches deep. Everyone's jumped.
941
00:50:21,458 --> 00:50:23,167
- He's gone!
- Jacko!
942
00:50:24,083 --> 00:50:25,375
Man overboard.
943
00:50:26,292 --> 00:50:28,042
Eight inches my ass!
944
00:50:36,542 --> 00:50:37,292
Boulin.
945
00:50:39,167 --> 00:50:40,833
Did you call them here?
946
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:43,333
My boss insisted on backup.
947
00:50:43,500 --> 00:50:45,875
The culprit will take fright and run.
948
00:50:46,042 --> 00:50:47,792
We want him to take fright.
949
00:50:47,958 --> 00:50:50,708
Let him run.
Tell them to come closer.
950
00:50:50,875 --> 00:50:53,042
It's far more sensible.
Be discreet.
951
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:56,250
Gentlemen.
952
00:50:56,417 --> 00:50:59,875
Head Detective Boulin, I'm taking over.
You can leave.
953
00:51:00,042 --> 00:51:01,833
I'm setting a honey-trap
954
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:03,000
not a dragnet.
955
00:51:03,167 --> 00:51:04,292
Men, retreat.
956
00:51:04,458 --> 00:51:06,542
- And the van?
- There's no driver.
957
00:51:06,708 --> 00:51:08,958
Hold the dogs. No time to lose.
958
00:51:13,167 --> 00:51:14,375
Recalls memories.
959
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:21,792
It stalled.
960
00:51:25,750 --> 00:51:27,208
Easy with the clutch!
961
00:51:27,708 --> 00:51:29,125
You think I don't know?
962
00:51:33,708 --> 00:51:34,708
Stalled again.
963
00:51:42,167 --> 00:51:43,083
Moron.
964
00:51:46,333 --> 00:51:47,625
It keeps stalling.
965
00:51:47,792 --> 00:51:49,083
Bravo, my friend.
966
00:51:49,250 --> 00:51:50,625
And now what?
967
00:51:51,125 --> 00:51:53,000
- Where are the mutts?
- Gone.
968
00:51:53,167 --> 00:51:56,667
- They bit me so I let them go.
- You what?
969
00:51:57,208 --> 00:51:59,167
Men, grab shovels.
970
00:52:02,208 --> 00:52:04,583
I wanted them closer, not gone.
971
00:52:04,750 --> 00:52:06,000
All is well.
972
00:52:06,167 --> 00:52:08,708
They're awaiting
my orders to intervene.
973
00:52:08,875 --> 00:52:09,792
And my dogs?
974
00:52:10,333 --> 00:52:12,917
- Where are my dogs?
- That's the downside.
975
00:52:13,083 --> 00:52:15,333
The officer let them go.
976
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:18,083
They'll be back for the BBQ.
977
00:52:18,250 --> 00:52:19,958
Find my dogs, Boulin!
978
00:52:20,125 --> 00:52:21,625
Daisy!
979
00:52:21,792 --> 00:52:23,000
Blaise.
980
00:52:39,250 --> 00:52:40,667
Daisy, baby.
981
00:52:46,625 --> 00:52:47,833
Daisy!
982
00:52:56,167 --> 00:52:57,250
Get lost!
983
00:53:02,750 --> 00:53:03,958
He's not bad.
984
00:53:04,375 --> 00:53:05,750
Here, take this.
985
00:53:06,667 --> 00:53:08,000
I'll roll a pure one.
986
00:53:21,583 --> 00:53:23,125
Tomato sauce & cheese.
987
00:53:23,292 --> 00:53:25,958
Double cheese,
I haven't eaten all day.
988
00:53:30,750 --> 00:53:32,417
My Lady? Madam?
989
00:53:37,125 --> 00:53:38,542
My Lady, I'm here!
990
00:53:41,500 --> 00:53:43,375
The imbecile smashed my watch.
991
00:53:43,542 --> 00:53:45,375
Sorry, you raised your arm.
992
00:53:45,792 --> 00:53:46,833
What do you want?
993
00:53:48,208 --> 00:53:51,083
I thought Mr. Jacko was assaulting you.
994
00:53:51,500 --> 00:53:52,667
And now?
995
00:53:53,667 --> 00:53:54,625
No.
996
00:53:54,875 --> 00:53:56,042
He wasn't.
997
00:53:57,417 --> 00:53:59,000
Would you like a crepe?
998
00:53:59,167 --> 00:54:00,708
No, thank you.
999
00:54:01,125 --> 00:54:02,750
That's what I thought.
1000
00:54:08,958 --> 00:54:11,917
Not so fast, little mermaid.
1001
00:54:12,083 --> 00:54:13,292
Stop following me.
1002
00:54:13,917 --> 00:54:16,667
You know where to find me.
Just in case.
1003
00:54:19,208 --> 00:54:20,208
Move over.
1004
00:54:21,208 --> 00:54:23,667
I'm taking the dogs or they'll be sick.
1005
00:54:23,833 --> 00:54:25,458
I'll take the big Riva.
1006
00:54:25,625 --> 00:54:27,583
What about us? Selfish bastard.
1007
00:54:28,375 --> 00:54:29,917
My dogs take priority.
1008
00:54:30,875 --> 00:54:31,792
Asshole.
1009
00:54:37,917 --> 00:54:38,917
Boulin!
1010
00:54:39,542 --> 00:54:41,000
Bring Laura a tray
1011
00:54:41,458 --> 00:54:43,250
with grilled pork rind.
1012
00:54:43,500 --> 00:54:44,667
She's feeling blue
1013
00:54:45,083 --> 00:54:46,125
cause of Delon.
1014
00:54:46,292 --> 00:54:48,125
Oh darn, I completely forgot.
1015
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:51,333
Miss Laura?
1016
00:54:52,333 --> 00:54:54,958
A snack sent by Mr. Lamarque.
1017
00:54:55,125 --> 00:54:56,167
Here.
1018
00:54:56,333 --> 00:54:58,125
I forgot, I spoke to Alain.
1019
00:54:59,167 --> 00:55:00,750
What? Alain?
1020
00:55:02,292 --> 00:55:03,667
Alain Delon?
1021
00:55:03,833 --> 00:55:05,375
Did he say he was coming?
1022
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:06,958
Yes. I mean no.
1023
00:55:08,333 --> 00:55:10,000
He's not coming.
1024
00:55:12,750 --> 00:55:13,625
Forgive me.
1025
00:55:14,958 --> 00:55:16,500
Forgive me, I'm sorry.
1026
00:55:16,667 --> 00:55:17,917
You're no-one.
1027
00:55:18,083 --> 00:55:20,167
- It's not your fault.
- Thanks.
1028
00:55:20,333 --> 00:55:22,583
Did he leave a number?
1029
00:55:22,750 --> 00:55:25,167
He said he'd rather you didn't call.
1030
00:55:30,083 --> 00:55:33,292
You shouldn't get yourself
into such states.
1031
00:55:33,458 --> 00:55:34,875
You don't deserve this.
1032
00:55:35,042 --> 00:55:38,583
We talked for a while
and honestly, he's not very nice.
1033
00:55:39,458 --> 00:55:41,250
I forbid you to badmouth him!
1034
00:55:41,417 --> 00:55:43,167
Then I'll avoid that.
1035
00:55:44,167 --> 00:55:45,167
What's wrong?
1036
00:55:45,333 --> 00:55:47,125
And I make you pay.
1037
00:55:47,292 --> 00:55:49,375
I'm used to it, don't worry.
1038
00:55:49,542 --> 00:55:50,750
What's going on?
1039
00:55:50,917 --> 00:55:52,625
Don't touch, it's loaded!
1040
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:54,000
I'll kill myself!
1041
00:55:56,583 --> 00:55:58,500
- Careful now.
- It's over!
1042
00:55:58,667 --> 00:56:00,250
Calm down, pussycat.
1043
00:56:04,083 --> 00:56:04,958
I'm bleeding!
1044
00:56:08,250 --> 00:56:10,500
Lamarque,
help me for God's sake!
1045
00:56:17,083 --> 00:56:18,292
Appalling evening.
1046
00:56:18,458 --> 00:56:19,958
We almost lost the dogs.
1047
00:56:20,125 --> 00:56:22,167
I'm going up to bed with Daisy.
1048
00:56:22,333 --> 00:56:24,708
Do not disturb me for any reason.
1049
00:56:24,875 --> 00:56:25,792
Very well, sir.
1050
00:56:26,208 --> 00:56:28,000
Hurry, the boat is sinking.
1051
00:56:29,333 --> 00:56:31,125
What an awful end.
1052
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:33,458
There's a searing pain.
1053
00:56:33,875 --> 00:56:35,875
The bullet only grazed you.
1054
00:56:36,292 --> 00:56:38,500
Yes, but I'm onstage in two days.
1055
00:56:39,042 --> 00:56:40,083
And it hurts.
1056
00:56:43,542 --> 00:56:45,167
The moron disappeared.
1057
00:56:45,333 --> 00:56:46,292
Darn!
1058
00:56:47,167 --> 00:56:48,500
Captain!
1059
00:57:07,125 --> 00:57:08,458
Get comfortable!
1060
00:57:09,583 --> 00:57:11,667
Make yourselves at home.
1061
00:57:11,833 --> 00:57:13,750
But don't forget it's not.
1062
00:58:00,792 --> 00:58:03,917
What are you doing?
You need to serve pancakes.
1063
00:58:04,083 --> 00:58:07,208
The pancakes can wait.
I need a smoke.
1064
00:58:07,375 --> 00:58:10,167
I don't believe it.
Why not a cigar too?
1065
00:58:11,083 --> 00:58:13,208
I deserve a little smoke.
1066
00:58:13,542 --> 00:58:14,750
Don't push things.
1067
00:58:31,667 --> 00:58:32,542
Sorry, Boss.
1068
00:58:32,708 --> 00:58:34,958
Boulin,
you know what time it is?
1069
00:58:35,125 --> 00:58:36,250
It's an emergency.
1070
00:58:36,750 --> 00:58:38,083
The signs
1071
00:58:38,833 --> 00:58:40,625
are asselerating.
1072
00:58:40,792 --> 00:58:42,458
Asselerating.
1073
00:58:42,625 --> 00:58:43,458
And what's
1074
00:58:43,625 --> 00:58:45,000
that mean?
1075
00:58:47,458 --> 00:58:50,042
I hear a turbine engine.
1076
00:58:50,208 --> 00:58:52,292
Madeleine, you're snoring.
1077
00:58:52,708 --> 00:58:54,250
Go outside.
1078
00:58:54,625 --> 00:58:55,917
Maurice...
1079
00:58:56,917 --> 00:58:58,250
you with a mistress?
1080
00:58:58,417 --> 00:59:00,958
Not a mistress, my wife! Moron.
1081
00:59:01,125 --> 00:59:03,250
And you woke us up.
1082
00:59:12,625 --> 00:59:13,542
By the way...
1083
00:59:13,708 --> 00:59:16,208
if those dumbass gendarmes call you,
1084
00:59:16,375 --> 00:59:19,208
don't believe
a word they say, old man.
1085
00:59:20,375 --> 00:59:23,292
What's wrong with you?
Are you drunk?
1086
00:59:24,958 --> 00:59:26,292
What're you doing?
1087
00:59:26,458 --> 00:59:27,917
Get off your ass!
1088
00:59:28,542 --> 00:59:30,458
I'll call you back in five.
1089
00:59:30,625 --> 00:59:32,208
Gotta go. Love ya.
1090
00:59:32,750 --> 00:59:34,125
Get your rocks off.
1091
00:59:34,292 --> 00:59:35,375
Freedom!
1092
01:00:00,542 --> 01:00:02,042
I don't believe it.
1093
01:00:02,208 --> 01:00:03,917
What are you doing?
1094
01:00:04,083 --> 01:00:05,958
Cool cake...
1095
01:00:06,708 --> 01:00:08,417
That's for tomorrow, idiot!
1096
01:00:08,583 --> 01:00:10,792
That's for tomorrow, idiot!
1097
01:00:11,875 --> 01:00:12,958
Look!
1098
01:00:13,125 --> 01:00:15,125
Go serve drinks in the jacuzzi.
1099
01:00:15,292 --> 01:00:16,667
We did the pancakes.
1100
01:00:16,833 --> 01:00:17,750
Keep cool.
1101
01:00:17,917 --> 01:00:19,833
Jean's a pro.
1102
01:00:20,375 --> 01:00:21,875
Oh, the little crepes.
1103
01:00:22,083 --> 01:00:23,292
Look at this!
1104
01:00:24,417 --> 01:00:27,167
Alright, Jean will serves drinks.
1105
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:40,292
We're off.
1106
01:00:40,458 --> 01:00:43,167
You're all invited
to my concert tomorrow.
1107
01:00:51,375 --> 01:00:52,375
Be careful.
1108
01:00:55,292 --> 01:00:56,833
Jean, that's enough.
1109
01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:58,917
Get out of this jacuzzi.
1110
01:00:59,083 --> 01:01:00,542
He's not a slave.
1111
01:01:00,708 --> 01:01:03,042
Go on, bellboy, have a blast.
1112
01:01:03,208 --> 01:01:04,208
So there!
1113
01:01:04,375 --> 01:01:06,167
Thank you, Cap!
1114
01:01:06,333 --> 01:01:09,917
He's no bellboy
and the bellboy's gonna have a blast.
1115
01:01:10,083 --> 01:01:11,292
So there!
1116
01:01:11,458 --> 01:01:13,167
BEWARE OF DOG
1117
01:01:25,917 --> 01:01:26,917
Claude!
1118
01:01:27,083 --> 01:01:28,417
Jean's lost his mind!
1119
01:01:31,292 --> 01:01:34,333
I feel a stream of hot water
on my thigh.
1120
01:01:38,583 --> 01:01:40,958
The bastard's taking a piss!
1121
01:01:41,125 --> 01:01:42,708
I'm out of here.
1122
01:01:52,917 --> 01:01:55,417
It's quite spectacular. Don't touch him.
1123
01:01:55,583 --> 01:01:58,250
Turn him over.
He could swallow his tongue.
1124
01:01:58,417 --> 01:01:59,958
My director!
1125
01:02:00,125 --> 01:02:04,125
I told Claude that a lightbulb
over a jacuzzi was stupid.
1126
01:02:04,292 --> 01:02:05,958
No one ever listens to me.
1127
01:02:09,458 --> 01:02:11,542
You were in charge of security.
1128
01:02:11,917 --> 01:02:14,750
There was a murder attempt
and you saw nothing.
1129
01:02:15,875 --> 01:02:17,542
What? You saw something?
1130
01:02:22,875 --> 01:02:25,875
Get up.
You're getting my couch wet.
1131
01:02:27,542 --> 01:02:30,083
I'll have to leave you, Harold.
1132
01:02:32,792 --> 01:02:33,750
A kissy.
1133
01:02:33,917 --> 01:02:35,458
No kissy.
1134
01:02:36,375 --> 01:02:38,917
That's it,
I'm going to wake up Chirac.
1135
01:02:39,667 --> 01:02:42,375
Believe me,
my report will be scathing.
1136
01:02:42,542 --> 01:02:43,917
Scathing!
1137
01:02:56,417 --> 01:02:57,333
My nose!
1138
01:02:57,708 --> 01:02:58,708
My nose!
1139
01:03:09,958 --> 01:03:12,333
You gonna
wake me up all night, asshole!
1140
01:03:12,500 --> 01:03:13,542
Chirac, here.
1141
01:03:15,292 --> 01:03:17,000
Forgive me, Mr. Minister.
1142
01:03:17,667 --> 01:03:19,333
I thought it was my officer.
1143
01:03:19,500 --> 01:03:21,417
Your man wreaked havoc.
1144
01:03:21,583 --> 01:03:23,375
One idiocy after the other.
1145
01:03:23,833 --> 01:03:26,375
He's usually very professional.
1146
01:03:26,542 --> 01:03:29,125
You're going to clean up this mess.
1147
01:03:29,542 --> 01:03:31,208
- You have 24 hours!
- What?
1148
01:03:31,375 --> 01:03:33,583
- Didn't you hear?
- Consider it done.
1149
01:03:33,750 --> 01:03:34,625
Dumbass.
1150
01:03:38,417 --> 01:03:39,625
What's your name?
1151
01:03:39,792 --> 01:03:40,917
Big dick!
1152
01:03:42,708 --> 01:03:44,917
- It's superficial shock.
- I see.
1153
01:03:45,083 --> 01:03:46,875
His speech will come back.
1154
01:03:47,333 --> 01:03:49,542
In case of an attack, give him...
1155
01:03:50,375 --> 01:03:51,500
ten drops.
1156
01:03:51,792 --> 01:03:53,208
- I see.
- A sedative.
1157
01:03:53,375 --> 01:03:56,417
Big dick! Balls! Cock!
1158
01:03:57,542 --> 01:03:59,542
Does he need drops now?
1159
01:04:00,167 --> 01:04:01,750
Use your intuition.
1160
01:04:02,542 --> 01:04:03,625
Cock.
1161
01:04:04,083 --> 01:04:05,375
He's doing better.
1162
01:04:05,542 --> 01:04:06,625
Don't worry.
1163
01:04:07,125 --> 01:04:08,958
His memories must resurface.
1164
01:04:09,333 --> 01:04:10,500
Sir?
1165
01:04:10,750 --> 01:04:12,458
Do you remember
1166
01:04:12,625 --> 01:04:15,417
the moment
when someone peed on you?
1167
01:04:19,583 --> 01:04:20,875
Lightbulb.
1168
01:04:21,042 --> 01:04:22,375
Might take a while.
1169
01:04:22,542 --> 01:04:24,833
Will he be okay in two months?
1170
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:26,625
We're making a film.
1171
01:04:30,042 --> 01:04:32,125
He's not out of the woods.
1172
01:04:32,417 --> 01:04:33,750
I'd say two months...
1173
01:04:34,625 --> 01:04:35,625
is optimistic.
1174
01:04:36,583 --> 01:04:38,917
Can you help me? Yves is paralyzed.
1175
01:04:39,792 --> 01:04:42,208
Good news at last! Yves can't move.
1176
01:04:44,792 --> 01:04:46,833
The doctor's here, darling.
1177
01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:48,250
Hello, sir.
1178
01:04:48,417 --> 01:04:50,750
My back went out. It's a first.
1179
01:04:50,917 --> 01:04:52,792
The old carcass gets rusty.
1180
01:04:53,708 --> 01:04:54,708
Your hand.
1181
01:04:56,000 --> 01:04:57,250
Are you crazy?
1182
01:04:57,417 --> 01:05:01,167
I'll give you an anti-inflammatory.
You'll move normally.
1183
01:05:02,833 --> 01:05:05,042
- Here we go.
- I don't like shots.
1184
01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:10,083
Look, croissants and everything.
1185
01:05:10,250 --> 01:05:12,292
Nice and hot.
1186
01:05:13,208 --> 01:05:14,833
He's doing much better.
1187
01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:16,708
Sir, be careful.
1188
01:05:20,375 --> 01:05:21,833
Has he taken his drops?
1189
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:24,167
- Two times.
- Make it three.
1190
01:05:30,458 --> 01:05:31,333
Balls!
1191
01:05:31,500 --> 01:05:33,042
He's throwing croissants!
1192
01:05:33,208 --> 01:05:35,042
Take him to his room.
1193
01:05:37,958 --> 01:05:39,375
Hello, Lamarque!
1194
01:05:43,375 --> 01:05:45,042
Hello, sweetheart.
1195
01:05:51,583 --> 01:05:52,750
The idiot.
1196
01:05:52,917 --> 01:05:55,458
Such a delight working with you.
1197
01:05:56,625 --> 01:05:58,792
Next time
I want something younger.
1198
01:05:58,958 --> 01:06:00,083
But not too much!
1199
01:06:00,250 --> 01:06:01,625
You can do anything.
1200
01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:06,958
- Drop by the salon.
- Promise.
1201
01:06:07,417 --> 01:06:10,083
I have an audition in Paris. Listen...
1202
01:06:10,250 --> 01:06:13,167
could you keep
an eye on Carmen and Gabriel?
1203
01:06:13,333 --> 01:06:16,667
Of course, darling.
Nothing will happen in my home.
1204
01:06:16,833 --> 01:06:19,458
- Thanks, godmother.
- Say hello to Paris!
1205
01:06:20,500 --> 01:06:21,625
Goodbye, darling.
1206
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:22,875
Carmen!
1207
01:06:44,708 --> 01:06:46,667
Someone's asking for you.
1208
01:06:46,833 --> 01:06:48,792
- Excuse me.
- Of course.
1209
01:06:52,750 --> 01:06:53,750
Lefranc. Police.
1210
01:06:54,417 --> 01:06:55,500
None too soon.
1211
01:06:55,667 --> 01:06:56,667
Last night
1212
01:06:56,833 --> 01:06:59,583
took the cake.
He gave his gun to a guest
1213
01:06:59,750 --> 01:07:02,250
who tried to take her own life.
1214
01:07:02,417 --> 01:07:04,708
Why did you
give your gun to a woman?
1215
01:07:04,875 --> 01:07:06,583
I didn't, she stole it.
1216
01:07:06,958 --> 01:07:09,167
You made salacious advances.
1217
01:07:09,333 --> 01:07:11,708
No! She threw herself at my feet.
1218
01:07:11,875 --> 01:07:13,875
Women throw themselves at you?
1219
01:07:14,042 --> 01:07:15,333
Of course.
1220
01:07:15,958 --> 01:07:18,750
- Back to you, Columbo.
- Boulin.
1221
01:07:19,125 --> 01:07:20,125
Columbo
1222
01:07:20,292 --> 01:07:22,458
is a TV character. He's not real.
1223
01:07:22,625 --> 01:07:24,958
You should be flattered.
1224
01:07:26,500 --> 01:07:29,583
He solves his cases
and he's not a Communist.
1225
01:07:29,750 --> 01:07:30,875
Me either!
1226
01:07:32,625 --> 01:07:34,708
In the name
of the French State,
1227
01:07:34,875 --> 01:07:37,542
I apologize
for this numbskull's antics.
1228
01:07:39,292 --> 01:07:41,500
As of today, I am taking over.
1229
01:07:42,167 --> 01:07:43,083
Thank heavens.
1230
01:07:43,250 --> 01:07:44,583
I return to Paris?
1231
01:07:44,750 --> 01:07:46,542
You stay on as butler.
1232
01:07:46,708 --> 01:07:47,542
But why?
1233
01:07:47,708 --> 01:07:48,917
He's hopeless.
1234
01:07:49,333 --> 01:07:50,708
I'd rather not
1235
01:07:50,875 --> 01:07:53,583
arouse suspicion
until the affair is resolved.
1236
01:07:53,750 --> 01:07:55,250
I need only 24 hours.
1237
01:07:57,542 --> 01:08:00,917
Could you take me
on a tour of the house and garden?
1238
01:08:01,083 --> 01:08:03,000
I need to study the topography.
1239
01:08:06,833 --> 01:08:09,708
- Master bedroom.
- Lovely color scheme.
1240
01:08:09,875 --> 01:08:11,208
Look at that.
1241
01:08:11,500 --> 01:08:12,583
Pure ivory.
1242
01:08:12,750 --> 01:08:16,083
Not very proper,
but Eliane's crazy about it.
1243
01:08:16,250 --> 01:08:17,500
Don't touch.
1244
01:08:19,082 --> 01:08:22,082
Look at this marvel.
German bathroom fittings.
1245
01:08:22,250 --> 01:08:23,250
German?
1246
01:08:23,417 --> 01:08:25,667
The best.
Skimping on costs
1247
01:08:25,832 --> 01:08:28,207
ends up
costing a fortune in repairs.
1248
01:08:29,125 --> 01:08:32,207
I'm not rich enough to buy bad quality.
You agree?
1249
01:08:32,957 --> 01:08:34,417
Absolutely.
1250
01:08:35,125 --> 01:08:37,957
That's why
I went all out with marble.
1251
01:08:38,707 --> 01:08:42,082
We applied the same formula
in our home.
1252
01:08:42,250 --> 01:08:43,082
Oh yes?
1253
01:08:43,250 --> 01:08:45,332
We went all out with Formica.
1254
01:08:47,375 --> 01:08:48,582
I'm not familiar
1255
01:08:48,750 --> 01:08:49,957
with Formica.
1256
01:08:50,125 --> 01:08:51,167
It's fabulous.
1257
01:08:52,375 --> 01:08:53,875
There you are.
1258
01:08:54,042 --> 01:08:56,667
Sweep up the cigarettes outside.
It's bedlam.
1259
01:08:56,832 --> 01:08:58,082
Ask nicely, okay?
1260
01:08:59,332 --> 01:09:00,457
Thanks.
1261
01:09:09,125 --> 01:09:10,125
Look here.
1262
01:09:11,332 --> 01:09:14,082
My grandfather planted this pine forest.
1263
01:09:15,625 --> 01:09:17,042
He had a green thumb.
1264
01:09:17,417 --> 01:09:19,792
Beautiful, isn't it? Extraordinary.
1265
01:09:20,875 --> 01:09:24,292
When the sky is clear,
you can see Monaco.
1266
01:09:37,542 --> 01:09:38,667
Who did that?
1267
01:09:42,917 --> 01:09:45,457
Easy does it, I'm in terrible pain.
1268
01:09:50,667 --> 01:09:52,625
That was maybe intended for me.
1269
01:09:52,792 --> 01:09:55,292
That's why
I chose an incognito cover.
1270
01:09:58,375 --> 01:09:59,375
Lord Tranchant,
1271
01:09:59,542 --> 01:10:01,500
let's walk outside the property.
1272
01:10:01,667 --> 01:10:03,792
I don't want anyone spying on us.
1273
01:10:03,958 --> 01:10:06,208
The keyword is "incognito."
1274
01:10:06,375 --> 01:10:08,000
It's our only hope...
1275
01:10:08,500 --> 01:10:09,833
of nabbing them.
1276
01:10:10,292 --> 01:10:12,458
- Watch out!
- What's that?
1277
01:10:12,625 --> 01:10:14,625
There wasn't even a sign!
1278
01:10:16,250 --> 01:10:17,417
What good's that?
1279
01:10:17,583 --> 01:10:19,792
It should be here. Forget it.
1280
01:10:20,542 --> 01:10:22,167
Stop dilly-dallying.
1281
01:10:22,333 --> 01:10:24,250
I need you, My Lord...
1282
01:10:24,417 --> 01:10:27,875
to gather your guests
in the salon in 20 minutes.
1283
01:10:28,042 --> 01:10:29,708
- All my guests?
- Yes.
1284
01:10:29,875 --> 01:10:32,458
I'll grill each one,
and as if by magic...
1285
01:10:33,500 --> 01:10:35,125
the truth will spring forth.
1286
01:10:35,292 --> 01:10:37,125
The Boulin method.
1287
01:10:40,625 --> 01:10:41,875
What do you say?
1288
01:10:42,667 --> 01:10:44,375
Do I have a choice?
1289
01:10:44,917 --> 01:10:47,792
My only concern, are my guests.
1290
01:10:47,958 --> 01:10:49,333
I wouldn't want...
1291
01:10:49,875 --> 01:10:50,875
Boulin?
1292
01:10:55,708 --> 01:10:57,417
I'm here, I'm here!
1293
01:10:57,958 --> 01:10:59,000
Are you hurt?
1294
01:10:59,167 --> 01:11:00,958
More fear than harm.
1295
01:11:01,500 --> 01:11:02,375
I'll get help.
1296
01:11:02,542 --> 01:11:04,833
No, don't leave me here.
1297
01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:07,083
- Give me your hand.
- Me?
1298
01:11:07,625 --> 01:11:10,542
I've done rock-climbing.
I can hoist myself.
1299
01:11:11,083 --> 01:11:12,833
Give me your hand.
1300
01:11:13,000 --> 01:11:15,833
There we go. That's the first step.
1301
01:11:16,000 --> 01:11:17,833
Give me your other hand.
1302
01:11:18,000 --> 01:11:20,583
- That's good.
- No, don't pull!
1303
01:11:20,750 --> 01:11:22,417
You're pulling me down!
1304
01:11:29,792 --> 01:11:31,167
You okay, My Lord?
1305
01:11:31,333 --> 01:11:34,167
This smell is horrendous.
1306
01:11:35,417 --> 01:11:37,333
I smell appallingly bad.
1307
01:11:37,500 --> 01:11:39,583
You must've fallen on a dead rat.
1308
01:11:39,750 --> 01:11:42,208
Because I don't smell.
1309
01:11:42,833 --> 01:11:44,792
I smell you, but not me.
1310
01:11:58,500 --> 01:11:59,417
My Lord?
1311
01:12:00,958 --> 01:12:02,042
I've understood.
1312
01:12:02,208 --> 01:12:04,500
- What?
- Last night I was drugged.
1313
01:12:04,667 --> 01:12:05,458
Indeed?
1314
01:12:05,625 --> 01:12:07,458
That's why I was a clown.
1315
01:12:08,083 --> 01:12:09,083
Explain.
1316
01:12:09,458 --> 01:12:10,625
Look at this pipe.
1317
01:12:10,833 --> 01:12:12,208
Yes, and?
1318
01:12:12,583 --> 01:12:13,958
It's full of hashish.
1319
01:12:18,250 --> 01:12:20,625
No, that's old Captain Black tobacco.
1320
01:12:20,792 --> 01:12:22,333
- Excuse me?
- Very nice.
1321
01:12:22,500 --> 01:12:24,833
That's not Captain Black.
1322
01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:26,708
I've smoked for years.
1323
01:12:26,875 --> 01:12:30,208
Sorry to contradict you,
that's normal pipe tobacco.
1324
01:12:30,708 --> 01:12:32,083
Very well.
1325
01:12:32,250 --> 01:12:34,250
Watch this, a simple pipe.
1326
01:12:37,458 --> 01:12:38,500
There.
1327
01:12:39,042 --> 01:12:40,125
That's not drugs?
1328
01:12:44,208 --> 01:12:47,708
No, it's old Captain Black
and it smells lovely.
1329
01:12:47,875 --> 01:12:50,292
Absolutely not.
1330
01:12:50,458 --> 01:12:52,458
Old Captain Black...
1331
01:12:52,625 --> 01:12:55,250
Give that to me. Let me taste again.
1332
01:12:55,750 --> 01:12:57,042
Old Captain Black.
1333
01:12:57,792 --> 01:12:59,292
Yes, yes.
1334
01:13:03,792 --> 01:13:08,542
It's bitter and coarse.
It almost hurts your throat.
1335
01:13:09,000 --> 01:13:10,500
Give that to me.
1336
01:13:12,042 --> 01:13:13,500
Try again if you want.
1337
01:13:15,083 --> 01:13:16,042
I disagree.
1338
01:13:16,208 --> 01:13:21,083
It lingers in the mouth
and has a familiar light honey flavor.
1339
01:13:23,125 --> 01:13:24,500
Not at all.
1340
01:13:31,042 --> 01:13:35,417
Sorry, we better hurry,
my guests are waiting for us.
1341
01:13:35,583 --> 01:13:37,625
I need to get my evidence.
1342
01:13:37,792 --> 01:13:40,125
Hope it's more convincing
than your pipe!
1343
01:13:44,125 --> 01:13:45,417
Oh, Boner!
1344
01:13:46,125 --> 01:13:47,875
You're a first-rate moron.
1345
01:13:49,542 --> 01:13:51,292
Are we summoned too?
1346
01:13:51,583 --> 01:13:53,042
What's with the rake?
1347
01:13:55,458 --> 01:13:57,125
You stink of hashish.
1348
01:13:57,292 --> 01:14:00,417
Absolutely.
Tell the Lord, he won't believe me.
1349
01:14:18,667 --> 01:14:20,708
You play so well, I love it.
1350
01:14:21,250 --> 01:14:23,125
Some applause for the artist?
1351
01:14:23,292 --> 01:14:24,583
Come on.
1352
01:14:24,750 --> 01:14:27,375
Anyone know why we're gathered?
1353
01:14:27,542 --> 01:14:31,250
Other than to listen to dear Claude
massacre La Cucaracha.
1354
01:14:36,042 --> 01:14:36,833
Claude!
1355
01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:38,292
Stop the buffoonery!
1356
01:14:38,458 --> 01:14:39,875
Why are we here?
1357
01:14:40,042 --> 01:14:41,083
My friends,
1358
01:14:41,250 --> 01:14:43,833
meet Detective Boulin
1359
01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:45,750
from the Quai des Orfèvres.
1360
01:14:47,333 --> 01:14:48,542
Detective?
1361
01:14:48,708 --> 01:14:49,708
Yes.
1362
01:14:50,167 --> 01:14:51,667
And he's here to unmask
1363
01:14:51,833 --> 01:14:54,083
the assassin of my dear pet.
1364
01:14:54,458 --> 01:14:57,083
Not the pet of my assassin.
1365
01:14:59,583 --> 01:15:00,875
What's wrong with them?
1366
01:15:01,250 --> 01:15:03,208
The pet of my assassin!
1367
01:15:04,333 --> 01:15:06,208
Are they drunk?
1368
01:15:08,958 --> 01:15:09,917
No, seriously.
1369
01:15:10,083 --> 01:15:11,542
I asked him to come.
1370
01:15:11,708 --> 01:15:12,875
Jean, you're on.
1371
01:15:13,042 --> 01:15:14,250
Thank you, kitty.
1372
01:15:15,250 --> 01:15:17,417
The killer is in your midst.
1373
01:15:18,833 --> 01:15:20,833
And I will flush them out.
1374
01:15:22,333 --> 01:15:25,458
You surely wonder why I hold a rake.
1375
01:15:26,042 --> 01:15:27,417
Just put it down
1376
01:15:27,583 --> 01:15:30,417
before you break
the Murano chandelier.
1377
01:15:30,750 --> 01:15:32,042
You're right, pet.
1378
01:15:32,583 --> 01:15:35,917
We mustn't destroy the rake.
It's prime evidence.
1379
01:15:36,083 --> 01:15:37,667
Yes, Francine & Jacko.
1380
01:15:37,833 --> 01:15:38,625
This rake
1381
01:15:38,792 --> 01:15:41,333
blocked the hammam door.
1382
01:15:41,750 --> 01:15:43,958
The lovebirds wanted to be alone.
1383
01:15:45,000 --> 01:15:47,417
But what's really very nasty,
1384
01:15:47,583 --> 01:15:49,792
is that Jacko
is banging Kitty's wife.
1385
01:15:53,958 --> 01:15:56,083
He's completely batty!
1386
01:15:56,250 --> 01:15:57,917
You started up again?
1387
01:15:58,167 --> 01:16:00,958
It's insanity.
He's not in a normal state.
1388
01:16:01,583 --> 01:16:03,042
Claude, darling.
1389
01:16:03,208 --> 01:16:04,500
Don't listen to him.
1390
01:16:08,875 --> 01:16:09,875
Pet!
1391
01:16:10,042 --> 01:16:10,792
Eliane,
1392
01:16:10,958 --> 01:16:12,708
this causes me great pain.
1393
01:16:13,250 --> 01:16:15,417
But you're so sexy, I forgive you.
1394
01:16:15,583 --> 01:16:17,083
I want to make love.
1395
01:16:17,250 --> 01:16:19,167
That can wait till later.
1396
01:16:19,792 --> 01:16:22,625
Let's return
to the crux of the matter.
1397
01:16:22,792 --> 01:16:26,000
The killer touched the rake
and it will speak.
1398
01:16:26,167 --> 01:16:27,708
When Boulin looks...
1399
01:16:29,333 --> 01:16:30,500
Boulin finds.
1400
01:16:35,042 --> 01:16:36,208
Bear weeny.
1401
01:16:37,208 --> 01:16:38,917
Little dick! Big cock.
1402
01:16:39,333 --> 01:16:41,000
Stop, I can't focus.
1403
01:16:41,708 --> 01:16:44,167
Give him the whole bottle.
1404
01:16:44,333 --> 01:16:45,875
Balls!
1405
01:16:46,042 --> 01:16:47,333
Shut up!
1406
01:16:48,292 --> 01:16:50,250
He broke my curios!
1407
01:16:54,000 --> 01:16:56,125
I shall recapitol...
1408
01:16:56,333 --> 01:16:58,292
I mean, recupulate...
1409
01:16:58,458 --> 01:17:00,875
I will reciproculate...
1410
01:17:01,042 --> 01:17:03,000
I will recasculate...
1411
01:17:03,167 --> 01:17:04,625
I'll recap.
1412
01:17:06,208 --> 01:17:07,792
This is an affair...
1413
01:17:08,167 --> 01:17:10,292
Let me think a minute.
1414
01:17:18,250 --> 01:17:20,375
- The nerd's snoozing.
- An addict.
1415
01:17:20,750 --> 01:17:23,542
His pipe stunk of hashish.
1416
01:17:24,375 --> 01:17:25,792
It wasn't hashish.
1417
01:17:25,958 --> 01:17:28,292
It was Captain Black tobacco.
1418
01:17:28,458 --> 01:17:29,833
Very good choice.
1419
01:17:39,542 --> 01:17:41,625
- A ticket for Paris.
- 54.90 francs.
1420
01:17:44,833 --> 01:17:45,542
Thanks.
1421
01:17:47,792 --> 01:17:49,208
Miss Peggy?
1422
01:17:49,375 --> 01:17:50,375
Your agent.
1423
01:17:55,542 --> 01:17:56,375
It's me.
1424
01:17:57,375 --> 01:17:58,375
Where are you?
1425
01:17:58,542 --> 01:18:00,792
My ticket's stamped. I have an alibi.
1426
01:18:00,958 --> 01:18:03,375
I'll wait for Carmen at Joe's concert.
1427
01:18:03,542 --> 01:18:04,500
Are you sure?
1428
01:18:04,667 --> 01:18:06,250
Don't worry, babe. We'll go
1429
01:18:06,417 --> 01:18:08,375
to Hollywood and make our film.
1430
01:18:09,167 --> 01:18:10,875
Olga, it's a great role.
1431
01:18:11,042 --> 01:18:13,167
But no, I only trust Norbert.
1432
01:18:14,083 --> 01:18:15,292
He sends his love.
1433
01:18:20,833 --> 01:18:23,375
My love,
are you sure you won't come?
1434
01:18:23,542 --> 01:18:26,458
I have a headache.
That hashish wiped me out.
1435
01:18:26,833 --> 01:18:29,333
He'll sing loud
and it'll be intolerable.
1436
01:18:29,917 --> 01:18:32,708
Kitty, I don't like leaving you alone.
1437
01:18:32,875 --> 01:18:35,167
It's your choice. I'll take your car.
1438
01:18:35,333 --> 01:18:38,208
If you don't feel well,
take a pill and rest.
1439
01:18:38,375 --> 01:18:39,792
Save your strength.
1440
01:18:41,417 --> 01:18:43,250
Claude, your car stinks.
1441
01:18:44,292 --> 01:18:45,750
- I know.
- Bye, Claude.
1442
01:19:01,667 --> 01:19:03,125
Boulin, wake up.
1443
01:19:03,917 --> 01:19:05,292
Help! What's wrong?
1444
01:19:05,458 --> 01:19:06,958
My rifle is missing.
1445
01:19:07,125 --> 01:19:11,125
I fear a tragedy at the concert tonight.
Give me your gun.
1446
01:19:11,292 --> 01:19:14,417
Certainly not.
A policeman never gives away his gun.
1447
01:19:15,000 --> 01:19:17,750
Never. Come on, let's go.
1448
01:19:21,583 --> 01:19:24,500
We'll take this one in case you're sick.
1449
01:19:24,667 --> 01:19:25,583
I'd rather.
1450
01:19:26,667 --> 01:19:27,667
Let's go.
1451
01:19:28,458 --> 01:19:29,542
My car!
1452
01:19:30,042 --> 01:19:33,000
I need your car.
Don't worry, I'll be careful.
1453
01:19:33,583 --> 01:19:34,917
Emergency!
1454
01:19:37,500 --> 01:19:38,875
Easy with the clutch.
1455
01:20:33,292 --> 01:20:35,333
Get a move on.
1456
01:20:35,500 --> 01:20:39,917
Give me a minute.
It's Cyril's car, I'm not used to it.
1457
01:20:40,083 --> 01:20:41,375
We're lagging.
1458
01:20:43,208 --> 01:20:45,792
Step on the gas! Faster, dammit!
1459
01:20:45,958 --> 01:20:47,417
Are you scared or what?
1460
01:20:47,583 --> 01:20:48,583
Step on it!
1461
01:21:00,333 --> 01:21:02,000
I hear music. We're here.
1462
01:21:13,917 --> 01:21:15,250
Turn left!
1463
01:21:21,000 --> 01:21:21,792
Brake!
1464
01:21:21,958 --> 01:21:23,333
You're wacko!
1465
01:21:32,708 --> 01:21:33,750
Horrible driver.
1466
01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:43,417
Stop or I shoot! Drop the gun!
1467
01:21:43,917 --> 01:21:45,125
Turn around, scum.
1468
01:21:45,917 --> 01:21:47,250
The game's over!
1469
01:21:49,125 --> 01:21:49,792
Ben!
1470
01:21:51,083 --> 01:21:52,667
Honey, what are you doing?
1471
01:21:52,833 --> 01:21:53,833
Claude!
1472
01:21:54,000 --> 01:21:55,792
I came as fast as I could.
1473
01:21:55,958 --> 01:21:57,167
Come here, pet.
1474
01:21:59,000 --> 01:22:00,375
- Handcuffs?
- Yes.
1475
01:22:00,875 --> 01:22:03,208
- He wanted to kill you.
- Ben?
1476
01:22:03,375 --> 01:22:04,375
How could you?
1477
01:22:04,542 --> 01:22:05,875
I wasn't after you.
1478
01:22:06,042 --> 01:22:07,333
You were a decoy.
1479
01:22:07,500 --> 01:22:10,250
I wanted her
for her life insurance policy.
1480
01:22:10,792 --> 01:22:12,167
There's your motive.
1481
01:22:12,333 --> 01:22:15,583
I knew it.
Ben was too sweet to be true.
1482
01:22:15,750 --> 01:22:17,333
Take him away.
1483
01:22:17,833 --> 01:22:19,417
Little bastard!
1484
01:22:19,833 --> 01:22:20,792
He's a monster.
1485
01:22:20,958 --> 01:22:22,833
Thank you, Mr. Boulin. I'm...
1486
01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:24,500
It's my job.
1487
01:22:24,667 --> 01:22:27,792
I'm delighted
that we avoided the worst.
1488
01:22:28,250 --> 01:22:29,542
Who solved the case?
1489
01:22:30,250 --> 01:22:31,292
Boulin.
1490
01:22:31,458 --> 01:22:34,125
When you proceed with method...
1491
01:22:35,125 --> 01:22:36,667
the results are there.
1492
01:22:41,917 --> 01:22:43,125
Bravo, old boy.
1493
01:22:52,167 --> 01:22:53,375
Aren't you hungry?
1494
01:22:53,542 --> 01:22:55,000
Yes, a little bit.
1495
01:22:55,167 --> 01:22:56,375
Turn right.
1496
01:22:56,542 --> 01:22:58,000
We'll find a quiet spot
1497
01:22:58,167 --> 01:22:59,583
to picnic.
1498
01:23:03,708 --> 01:23:05,292
France, what a country.
1499
01:23:05,833 --> 01:23:07,625
Nothing beats it.
1500
01:23:07,833 --> 01:23:10,708
But this investigation
left a bitter taste.
1501
01:23:10,875 --> 01:23:13,000
Really? We found the culprit.
1502
01:23:13,167 --> 01:23:14,292
Except that,
1503
01:23:14,458 --> 01:23:17,792
your culprit was leaving
when I got to Tranchant's.
1504
01:23:17,958 --> 01:23:19,125
He was?
1505
01:23:19,292 --> 01:23:23,250
And half an hour later,
I was shot in the ass in the garden.
1506
01:23:23,417 --> 01:23:24,500
It was no accident.
1507
01:23:24,667 --> 01:23:26,708
It was a murder attempt.
1508
01:23:29,292 --> 01:23:30,625
Maybe he came back.
1509
01:23:30,792 --> 01:23:31,833
No.
1510
01:23:32,542 --> 01:23:33,958
He admitted to everything.
1511
01:23:34,125 --> 01:23:35,375
Except that.
1512
01:23:35,750 --> 01:23:36,833
And I believe him.
1513
01:23:38,167 --> 01:23:39,458
So...
1514
01:23:39,625 --> 01:23:43,042
the question is,
who shot me if it wasn't Ben?
1515
01:23:46,708 --> 01:23:48,125
That's a good question.
1516
01:23:48,292 --> 01:23:50,042
An accomplice is out there.
1517
01:23:51,583 --> 01:23:55,167
You're going to flush them out
and lock them away.
1518
01:23:55,333 --> 01:23:59,042
If we let people attack the police
and go unpunished,
1519
01:23:59,208 --> 01:24:00,583
the Republic is doomed.
1520
01:24:00,750 --> 01:24:03,417
And that is serious. Understand?
1521
01:24:05,792 --> 01:24:06,958
Another glass?
1522
01:24:07,125 --> 01:24:08,167
Another glass...
1523
01:24:08,333 --> 01:24:09,625
Just a tiny bit.
1524
01:24:19,625 --> 01:24:21,583
- You have three days.
- What?
1525
01:24:21,750 --> 01:24:22,917
Three days?
1526
01:24:23,333 --> 01:24:24,625
To flush them out.
1527
01:24:26,208 --> 01:24:27,833
Yes, of course.
1528
01:24:28,000 --> 01:24:30,833
I crush cowards like stink bugs.
1529
01:24:32,750 --> 01:24:36,250
Stink bugs... nice expression.
1530
01:24:36,625 --> 01:24:39,667
{\an8}MYSTERY IN SAINT-TROPEZ
1531
01:25:29,292 --> 01:25:30,292
Eliane.
1532
01:25:30,750 --> 01:25:33,083
How about a quick trip to Portofino?
1533
01:25:33,250 --> 01:25:35,042
That would be lovely.
1534
01:25:36,958 --> 01:25:38,042
I love you.
1535
01:25:38,417 --> 01:25:39,875
Full throttle ahead.
1536
01:29:47,500 --> 01:29:50,500
Adaptation: Julie Meyer
1537
01:29:50,708 --> 01:29:53,375
Subtitling TITRAFILM
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