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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,876 --> 00:00:01,951 Adult Adam: Back in the '80s, 2 00:00:02,045 --> 00:00:03,804 you couldn't keep up with all the new dance styles. 3 00:00:03,915 --> 00:00:06,991 There was breakin', poppin' and lockin', the running man, 4 00:00:07,054 --> 00:00:09,531 and something called the electric boogaloo. 5 00:00:09,559 --> 00:00:11,968 Unfortunately, I had two left feet. 6 00:00:11,986 --> 00:00:14,988 I often found walking a hard enough challenge. 7 00:00:14,289 --> 00:00:16,907 - You okay? - Me? Yeah... 8 00:00:16,941 --> 00:00:18,709 [chuckles] been working out a lot. 9 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:21,345 My quads locked up on me. That ever happen to you? 10 00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:24,197 - Um, no. - Das coo', das coo'. 11 00:00:24,215 --> 00:00:29,536 - [chuckles] Here you go. - Well, thanks for the help. 12 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:32,689 Hey, um, you going to the dance Friday? 13 00:00:32,724 --> 00:00:34,625 - Are you going? - Yeah, maybe. 14 00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:38,428 - Save me a dance? - Oh, definitely. Sounds scrumptious. 15 00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:41,231 Dana was amazing. 16 00:00:41,316 --> 00:00:43,100 She wanted to dance with me, and she didn't care 17 00:00:43,151 --> 00:00:45,018 that I used words like "scrumptious." 18 00:00:45,036 --> 00:00:46,803 Nothing was gonna bring me down. 19 00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:48,121 Beverly: Adam! 20 00:00:48,155 --> 00:00:50,491 Hurry up! We're late for your dentist appointment! 21 00:00:50,525 --> 00:00:51,625 Well, almost nothing. 22 00:00:51,659 --> 00:00:54,711 Do you need to make...? Make poo-poos? 23 00:00:54,762 --> 00:00:56,730 I know you refuse to go at school, 24 00:00:56,764 --> 00:00:58,015 but we don't have time to stop at home, 25 00:00:58,049 --> 00:00:59,933 so if you have to make poo-poos, then make poo-poos here. 26 00:00:59,968 --> 00:01:02,653 Oh, my god! I'm fine! Just let me in and let's go! 27 00:01:02,704 --> 00:01:05,105 - Well, first, tell me who that girl was. - What girl? There was no girl. 28 00:01:05,139 --> 00:01:06,356 You were talking to Dana Caldwell. 29 00:01:06,407 --> 00:01:08,425 Why do you ask me a question if you already know the answer? 30 00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:09,676 Unlock the door! 31 00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,261 [singsong voice] What were you talking about? 32 00:01:11,296 --> 00:01:12,963 - Nothing! - What were you talking about? 33 00:01:13,014 --> 00:01:14,381 - Nothing! - Were you talking about the dance? 34 00:01:14,399 --> 00:01:16,967 - Tell me everything. - Let's just go to the dentist already! 35 00:01:17,018 --> 00:01:18,752 - What were you talking about? - Oh, my god! 36 00:01:18,786 --> 00:01:20,370 I'm the one kid in this world 37 00:01:20,405 --> 00:01:22,406 who's looking forward to getting his teeth drilled. 38 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:26,126 Sheesh. All right, Captain no fun. 39 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:29,413 With a smother like mine, you have to shut her down fast. 40 00:01:29,447 --> 00:01:31,315 You can't open the door, even a crack. 41 00:01:31,349 --> 00:01:32,799 Drive! 42 00:01:32,834 --> 00:01:36,469 So, then, Dana asked Adam if he was going to the dance, 43 00:01:36,487 --> 00:01:40,224 and Adam said yes. So, then, she said to save her a dance. 44 00:01:40,275 --> 00:01:43,210 How do you know all this if you were in the car? 45 00:01:43,244 --> 00:01:45,112 Sometimes a mother just knows. 46 00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:47,764 And I trained myself to read lips a little bit. 47 00:01:47,799 --> 00:01:49,700 Huh. Read my lips. 48 00:01:49,751 --> 00:01:53,119 - You need help. - Murray, this is a big deal. 49 00:01:53,137 --> 00:01:55,439 Our baby has his first girlfriend. 50 00:01:55,473 --> 00:01:57,040 I think you know what that means. 51 00:01:57,992 --> 00:01:59,893 - It's time for the talk. - What talk? 52 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,828 You know, about the birds and the bees 53 00:02:01,846 --> 00:02:04,564 and what they do when they've had a couple of white wines 54 00:02:04,616 --> 00:02:07,300 and put on a Lionel Richie record? 55 00:02:07,318 --> 00:02:08,585 Yeah, that talk. Not for me. 56 00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:10,287 Not for you? You're his father. 57 00:02:10,321 --> 00:02:12,389 Just give him the same talk you gave Barry. 58 00:02:12,423 --> 00:02:13,490 [sighs] 59 00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:16,176 Ooh, here's the thing ... I never did that. 60 00:02:16,194 --> 00:02:20,113 What?! You were supposed to talk that talk with him 61 00:02:20,147 --> 00:02:22,716 - about three years ago! - I know. I know. What can I say? 62 00:02:22,734 --> 00:02:24,484 - It got away from me. - Well, do it now. 63 00:02:24,502 --> 00:02:25,619 What's the rush? 64 00:02:25,653 --> 00:02:27,904 There's not, like, a line outside of his bedroom. 65 00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:29,840 - Murray! - Fine! 66 00:02:29,874 --> 00:02:32,259 [mimicking, no audio] 67 00:02:32,293 --> 00:02:34,678 No, you are a pain in my ass! 68 00:02:34,729 --> 00:02:37,106 That's right. I read lips. 69 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,932 [title music] I'm twisted up inside 70 00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:43,120 but nonetheless I feel the need to say 71 00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:46,623 I don't know the future 72 00:02:46,658 --> 00:02:50,443 but the past keeps getting clearer every day 73 00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:52,296 It was November 22, 1980-something, 74 00:02:52,330 --> 00:02:54,414 and I was gonna learn to dance. 75 00:02:54,448 --> 00:02:56,633 What do you mean you don't know how to dance? 76 00:02:56,668 --> 00:02:59,636 You're my grandson. You've got rhythm in your blood! 77 00:02:59,671 --> 00:03:02,339 I'm an open book. Teach me. 78 00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:03,507 As always, my Grandfather would 79 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:04,825 give me all the answers I needed. 80 00:03:04,859 --> 00:03:07,311 He had never failed me before. 81 00:03:07,345 --> 00:03:09,146 A-shuffle and a-cha! 82 00:03:09,180 --> 00:03:11,148 A-shuffle and a-cha! 83 00:03:11,182 --> 00:03:13,333 A-squibbidy bee, a-squibbidy boo! 84 00:03:13,368 --> 00:03:14,985 A-squibbidy bee, a-squibbidy boo! 85 00:03:15,019 --> 00:03:19,606 And we take a break 'cause my foot is swollen! 86 00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:21,108 There was a first time for everything. 87 00:03:21,142 --> 00:03:22,693 I had to find another teacher. 88 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,028 Erica, teach me to dance, and fast! 89 00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:28,532 W-what did he say? Come on! Then what did he say? 90 00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:31,635 Please! I need to learn how to move my body to music! 91 00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:32,969 Lainey's in crisis. 92 00:03:33,021 --> 00:03:35,739 Her parents bought her a new car and it's yellow! 93 00:03:35,773 --> 00:03:36,957 Barry: What's the matter, little buddy? 94 00:03:36,991 --> 00:03:39,026 - Got a problem Narry can solve? - No. 95 00:03:39,060 --> 00:03:43,146 - You'll just make fun of me. - What? I would never do that. 96 00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:45,265 Fine. I need someone to teach me how to dance. 97 00:03:45,299 --> 00:03:47,891 Ha! Loser. 98 00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:49,803 But you came to the right guy. 99 00:03:49,837 --> 00:03:51,571 - But I'm not coming to you. - Let's do this. 100 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,726 [dance music plays] 101 00:04:08,189 --> 00:04:11,891 [beat-boxing] 102 00:04:11,909 --> 00:04:13,243 When are you gonna start dancing? 103 00:04:13,277 --> 00:04:16,730 Shut up! My body's becoming one with the beat. 104 00:04:16,748 --> 00:04:20,500 [beat-boxing] 105 00:04:20,535 --> 00:04:22,753 Airplane! 106 00:04:22,787 --> 00:04:25,238 The wave! 107 00:04:25,256 --> 00:04:27,874 [beat-boxing] Crab legs! 108 00:04:27,908 --> 00:04:30,177 Helicopter! 109 00:04:30,211 --> 00:04:33,597 And turtle spin! 110 00:04:33,631 --> 00:04:36,216 - Breakin'. - How does any of this help me? 111 00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:37,934 I need to learn how to dance with a girl! 112 00:04:37,969 --> 00:04:40,954 Yeah... can't help you with that. 113 00:04:40,988 --> 00:04:43,314 But I can help you with this. 114 00:04:43,758 --> 00:04:46,727 The worm! 115 00:04:46,761 --> 00:04:47,944 Ow! 116 00:04:47,979 --> 00:04:50,814 After I got an ice pack for Barry's face, 117 00:04:50,865 --> 00:04:53,483 I decided to teach myself how to dance 118 00:04:53,534 --> 00:04:56,620 because time was running out. 119 00:04:56,654 --> 00:04:58,655 [dance music plays] 120 00:05:02,326 --> 00:05:05,796 Mm, get funky, snuggle monkey. 121 00:05:05,830 --> 00:05:08,849 [panting] Wait, what? T-this isn't "the A-team." 122 00:05:08,883 --> 00:05:11,651 No, leave it on. We dance to that in jazzercize. 123 00:05:11,669 --> 00:05:14,420 Maybe I was desperate, or maybe I was just hypnotized 124 00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:17,357 by my Mom's surprisingly sweet moves. 125 00:05:19,544 --> 00:05:20,844 Mom... 126 00:05:20,878 --> 00:05:22,913 do you think you could teach me how to do that? 127 00:05:22,964 --> 00:05:26,500 I let her in the door. 128 00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:28,034 Get over here. 129 00:05:28,052 --> 00:05:29,719 For the first time, my Mother and I 130 00:05:29,754 --> 00:05:31,421 were on the same team with the same goal. 131 00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:35,862 [Men Without Hats' "the Safety Dance" plays] 132 00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:38,995 There you go. Perfect. 133 00:05:39,030 --> 00:05:41,921 And feel free to jazz it up with some head movements. 134 00:05:41,956 --> 00:05:43,250 we can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind 135 00:05:43,284 --> 00:05:45,302 No one's gonna tell you you're moving your head too much. 136 00:05:45,336 --> 00:05:47,270 'cause your friends don't dance, and if they don't dance 137 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,523 well, they're no friends of mine 138 00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:51,920 say, we can go where we want to 139 00:05:51,955 --> 00:05:54,010 a place where they will never find 140 00:05:54,045 --> 00:05:55,312 and we can act like we come from out of this world 141 00:05:55,346 --> 00:05:57,897 - Look ... we're kid 'n play! - leave the real one far behind 142 00:05:57,915 --> 00:06:01,802 - # we can dance , come see # - John Travolta. There you go. 143 00:06:01,836 --> 00:06:05,689 It was awesome... until this. 144 00:06:05,723 --> 00:06:07,624 [Survivor's "the Search is Over" plays] 145 00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:09,075 Well, this has been great. See ya! 146 00:06:09,109 --> 00:06:10,560 - # how can I convince you # - Wait a minute, mister. 147 00:06:10,595 --> 00:06:13,096 I'm not letting you go before I teach you how to slow dance. 148 00:06:13,130 --> 00:06:14,331 - # what you see is real? # - No. No way. Not interested. 149 00:06:14,382 --> 00:06:16,099 Sweetie, I know you better than anyone. 150 00:06:16,150 --> 00:06:18,251 I know this is what's stressing you out ... 151 00:06:18,286 --> 00:06:20,203 - # who am I to blame you # - hand placement, where do you look, 152 00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:22,422 - How do you keep from stepping on her feet? - for doubting what you feel? 153 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,591 Those are all valid questions, yes. 154 00:06:24,625 --> 00:06:27,460 - I had come this far. I couldn't turn back now. - I was always reachin' 155 00:06:27,495 --> 00:06:30,196 - Screw it. Let's do this. - I was living for a dream 156 00:06:30,214 --> 00:06:32,966 - First, you, uh, put your hands on my waist. - loving for a moment 157 00:06:32,984 --> 00:06:35,252 - No, thank you. - Adam, I'm your mother. 158 00:06:35,286 --> 00:06:36,303 That's the point! 159 00:06:36,337 --> 00:06:39,606 taking on the world 160 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:42,209 - # that was just my style # - Just rock back and forth, very gently. 161 00:06:42,243 --> 00:06:44,861 - Right... and left. - now I look into your eyes 162 00:06:44,896 --> 00:06:47,581 - Right... left. - I can see forever 163 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:50,673 What are you doing?! Ohh! 164 00:06:50,708 --> 00:06:51,618 - [muffled] No snuggies! No snuggies! - the search is over 165 00:06:51,652 --> 00:06:53,103 - # you were with me all the while # - You smell like the dryer. 166 00:06:53,137 --> 00:06:55,188 - No snuggies! - Honey, you're so yummy! 167 00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:57,424 That's not cool. I'm out of here. 168 00:06:57,458 --> 00:07:00,427 - # now the miles stretch out behind me # - But thanks for the help! 169 00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:02,896 And just to be clear, I know I'm yelling, 170 00:07:02,930 --> 00:07:04,814 - but I'm actually very appreciative! - loves that I have lost 171 00:07:04,849 --> 00:07:06,266 While I was learning to dance, 172 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,168 my dad was ready to do some teaching of his own. 173 00:07:08,202 --> 00:07:10,921 - What are you doing? - Eating boo berry. 174 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:14,274 Good for you. Very smart. 175 00:07:14,292 --> 00:07:16,660 Feed your body. 176 00:07:16,694 --> 00:07:17,944 [laughter] 177 00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:21,598 So, your mom found out that I never got around 178 00:07:21,599 --> 00:07:23,984 - to giving you the talk. - What talk? 179 00:07:24,018 --> 00:07:26,636 The..."people making people" talk. 180 00:07:26,687 --> 00:07:30,640 - Ohh, that talk! - Exactly! 181 00:07:30,675 --> 00:07:33,910 So, if she asks, tell her we just had it. 182 00:07:33,961 --> 00:07:35,478 - But we didn't. - We don't need to. 183 00:07:35,513 --> 00:07:39,215 I mean, you're a grown man, and you know everything. 184 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:40,584 - Of course! - Yeah! 185 00:07:40,618 --> 00:07:42,359 I do have one question. 186 00:07:43,020 --> 00:07:44,471 Is it true you can get a girl pregnant 187 00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:46,139 if you french kiss her after midnight? 188 00:07:46,173 --> 00:07:48,975 - What are you talking about? - Like in the movie "Gremlins." 189 00:07:49,009 --> 00:07:51,645 If you kiss after midnight, the saliva goes into her tummy, 190 00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:53,313 and 'cause of her hormones and the moon, 191 00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:55,332 six weeks later, a baby comes out. 192 00:07:55,366 --> 00:08:00,954 Gremlins? You think ... how could you even ... ugh! 193 00:08:00,988 --> 00:08:04,074 - Where are you going? - I got to regroup! 194 00:08:04,075 --> 00:08:06,859 I wasn't prepared for this! I need to prepare. 195 00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:10,463 Turns out, my Dad's world wasn't the only one caving in. 196 00:08:10,498 --> 00:08:13,550 Do you want the rad news or the totally rad news? 197 00:08:13,584 --> 00:08:15,368 - Don't say "rad." - I got these on sale and thought 198 00:08:15,386 --> 00:08:17,721 they'd be perfect to wear to the dance. 199 00:08:17,755 --> 00:08:20,707 - You like 'em? - They made a parachute into clothing! 200 00:08:20,725 --> 00:08:22,425 Damn right, I like 'em! 201 00:08:22,476 --> 00:08:26,563 And the even better news is I will be joining you at the dance! 202 00:08:26,597 --> 00:08:29,232 - What?! - I know! [giggles] 203 00:08:29,266 --> 00:08:31,101 I signed up to be a chaperone. 204 00:08:31,152 --> 00:08:33,886 That way, I'll be there to help with your moves. 205 00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:36,406 I don't need help. ?Don't help me! 206 00:08:36,490 --> 00:08:38,491 All kids are embarrassed by their parents. 207 00:08:38,526 --> 00:08:41,828 But don't think of me as your mom. Think of me as your coach. 208 00:08:41,862 --> 00:08:44,164 I don't want to think of you at all when I'm dancing with Dana. 209 00:08:44,198 --> 00:08:45,665 You won't even know I'm there. 210 00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:48,501 And if I'm lucky, I'll get to see 211 00:08:48,536 --> 00:08:51,755 my little baby have his first slow dance! 212 00:08:51,789 --> 00:08:55,115 Mwah! [giggles] 213 00:08:57,467 --> 00:08:59,485 I'd done the unthinkable. 214 00:08:59,519 --> 00:09:02,524 I opened the door, and my Mom had burst right through it! 215 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:03,814 What did he say? 216 00:09:03,849 --> 00:09:07,467 - Have you lost your mind?! - I slow-danced with mom! 217 00:09:07,502 --> 00:09:08,994 - What? - You heard me. 218 00:09:09,028 --> 00:09:12,180 What do you mean? What are you saying? 219 00:09:12,214 --> 00:09:14,783 I... slow-danced... with Mom. 220 00:09:14,817 --> 00:09:16,718 You slow-danced with Mom? 221 00:09:16,752 --> 00:09:18,954 - This doesn't concern you! - What the hell it doesn't! 222 00:09:18,988 --> 00:09:21,556 You can't go slow-dancing with Mom and not expect me 223 00:09:21,557 --> 00:09:24,125 to have lots of opinions on this controversial matter. 224 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,927 It was a moment of weakness, and she taught me how to dance, 225 00:09:25,978 --> 00:09:27,261 and now she's gonna be a chaperone tonight 226 00:09:27,279 --> 00:09:28,563 and totally humiliate me! 227 00:09:28,581 --> 00:09:30,332 - Now you've opened the door. - I know. 228 00:09:30,366 --> 00:09:34,202 - Just tell me how to close it. - There is no way! 229 00:09:34,236 --> 00:09:36,537 Once the door's open, it stays open forever! 230 00:09:36,555 --> 00:09:38,974 I sent her a letter from camp saying I was homesick. 231 00:09:39,008 --> 00:09:41,309 And the next night, she showed up in the top bunk. 232 00:09:41,344 --> 00:09:44,947 Look, this is a picture of us in a canoe together! 233 00:09:44,982 --> 00:09:47,915 Never again, Adam. Never again! 234 00:09:47,933 --> 00:09:52,754 This is all so upsetting. I got to go. I can't be here. 235 00:09:52,772 --> 00:09:54,823 Okay. There's got to be a way out of this. 236 00:09:54,857 --> 00:09:57,976 Yes! Lies and deception ... that's your department. 237 00:09:58,027 --> 00:10:00,128 I'll think of something ... I promise. 238 00:10:00,162 --> 00:10:01,463 - I love you. - Don't say that. 239 00:10:01,497 --> 00:10:05,734 Look into my eyes and know that I... love... you. 240 00:10:05,768 --> 00:10:07,602 Get out! 241 00:10:10,388 --> 00:10:12,574 Love you! 242 00:10:14,493 --> 00:10:17,612 - Again with the boo berry. - You know it. 243 00:10:17,630 --> 00:10:20,915 All right. Here we go. Time for the talk. 244 00:10:20,950 --> 00:10:24,335 All right, before we get down to the nuts and bolts... 245 00:10:24,387 --> 00:10:26,021 [laughs] Nuts. 246 00:10:26,055 --> 00:10:28,990 [groans] All right, instead of talking about 247 00:10:29,008 --> 00:10:32,694 male and female body parts, we're gonna use the names 248 00:10:32,728 --> 00:10:36,181 of our favorite baseball players as code words. 249 00:10:36,215 --> 00:10:38,950 Look, you have a Mike Schmidt. 250 00:10:38,984 --> 00:10:40,701 Ladies have a Wade Boggs. 251 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,420 And... why are we doing this? 252 00:10:42,455 --> 00:10:45,874 This way, we won't be talking about anything horrible. 253 00:10:45,908 --> 00:10:48,593 We're just gonna be talking about baseball ... 254 00:10:48,627 --> 00:10:51,079 like, when a man loves a woman, 255 00:10:51,097 --> 00:10:54,065 Mike Schmidt steps up to the plate against Wade Boggs. 256 00:10:54,116 --> 00:10:56,051 Wade Boggs plays third. Why is he pitching? 257 00:10:56,085 --> 00:10:58,970 Fine! Wade Boggs is now Steve Carlton. 258 00:10:59,004 --> 00:11:01,122 Steve? That's clearly a dude's name. 259 00:11:01,156 --> 00:11:04,692 Okay, the girl's parts are gonna be, uh, Bo Jackson. 260 00:11:04,727 --> 00:11:06,911 - That makes no sense. - Bo's a girl's name! 261 00:11:06,962 --> 00:11:10,198 It's wintertime. That's when Bo Jackson plays football. 262 00:11:10,232 --> 00:11:12,500 He'd never be on the same field as Mike Schmidt. 263 00:11:12,534 --> 00:11:15,403 I never thought that I would ever say this to you, 264 00:11:15,438 --> 00:11:17,789 but you're over-thinking this, you moron. 265 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,390 I'm a moron? 266 00:11:19,425 --> 00:11:20,692 Well, you're a Mike Schmidt! 267 00:11:20,726 --> 00:11:22,494 - Take that back! - Never! 268 00:11:22,528 --> 00:11:24,462 Get your head out of your orel hershiser 269 00:11:24,513 --> 00:11:26,247 and come back here right now! 270 00:11:26,265 --> 00:11:28,850 [crunching] 271 00:11:28,868 --> 00:11:30,034 For what it's worth, 272 00:11:30,069 --> 00:11:33,371 I found that whole baseball thing very confusing. 273 00:11:33,405 --> 00:11:35,240 - That bad, huh? - It was bad. 274 00:11:35,274 --> 00:11:37,658 What kind of 16-year-old boy doesn't even know 275 00:11:37,676 --> 00:11:39,477 the basics of the birds and the bees? 276 00:11:39,512 --> 00:11:41,446 Murray, he knows everything. 277 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:45,183 I gave him the talk three years ago when you dropped the ball. 278 00:11:45,217 --> 00:11:49,921 - He's just messing with you. - So he wants a sex talk, huh? 279 00:11:49,972 --> 00:11:52,824 Well, I'm gonna give him a sex talk, but good. 280 00:11:52,858 --> 00:11:56,144 Or, instead of trying to spite him, 281 00:11:56,178 --> 00:11:59,047 you actually have a real conversation about it, 282 00:11:59,081 --> 00:12:00,982 which would mean the world to him. 283 00:12:01,016 --> 00:12:03,601 No, I'm gonna go with my thing. 284 00:12:03,636 --> 00:12:05,637 As my Dad was putting his plan into motion, 285 00:12:05,671 --> 00:12:09,440 I was praying Erica was, as well. 286 00:12:09,492 --> 00:12:11,342 Oh, balls. 287 00:12:11,377 --> 00:12:13,962 Hey, boopie. Look what mama bought. 288 00:12:13,996 --> 00:12:18,333 - Now we're parachute pals. - No! That's not a thing. Take 'em off. 289 00:12:18,367 --> 00:12:20,135 - I paid for the pants. - Don't wear the pants. 290 00:12:20,169 --> 00:12:22,871 - I'm wearing the pants. - Don't wear the pants. 291 00:12:22,905 --> 00:12:25,056 - Hey, Mom? - Oh, look, it's Erica. 292 00:12:25,090 --> 00:12:27,108 Check out this box of old photos that I found in the basement. 293 00:12:27,143 --> 00:12:28,776 Man, such good memories. 294 00:12:28,794 --> 00:12:32,046 We should, like, organize these in some sort of way. 295 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,866 - Maybe in, like, a book? - That would be fun. 296 00:12:34,917 --> 00:12:37,985 Holy [bleep] Erica. I have been begging you 297 00:12:38,003 --> 00:12:40,605 to make a scrapbook with me for years! 298 00:12:40,656 --> 00:12:42,907 - Well, let's make it right now. - Oh, now? 299 00:12:42,958 --> 00:12:45,343 God, no. I've got to chaperone Adam's dance tonight. 300 00:12:45,394 --> 00:12:46,961 Tomorrow morning, we'll wake up at dawn 301 00:12:46,979 --> 00:12:49,247 and really hit it hard. What do you say? 302 00:12:49,281 --> 00:12:52,183 Eh... I'm kind of losing interest. 303 00:12:52,218 --> 00:12:54,302 Oh, no, no. Don't lose interest. 304 00:12:54,336 --> 00:12:56,621 Um... I can do both. 305 00:12:56,672 --> 00:12:59,474 Adam, I'll meet you at the dance. Erica, don't move. 306 00:12:59,508 --> 00:13:02,160 I'm just gonna run upstairs and get my smock and glue gun. 307 00:13:04,029 --> 00:13:06,598 There's 1,000 pictures in this box. 308 00:13:06,632 --> 00:13:08,700 There's no way she's gonna make it to that dance. 309 00:13:08,734 --> 00:13:10,802 Have I mentioned that I love you? 310 00:13:10,836 --> 00:13:12,770 Say it one more time, and I won't help you. 311 00:13:12,805 --> 00:13:14,739 Erica had actually pulled it off. 312 00:13:14,773 --> 00:13:17,358 My Mom was gonna be stuck home all night! 313 00:13:17,376 --> 00:13:19,510 All right, got our cocoa. 314 00:13:19,545 --> 00:13:21,495 Let's cozy up and spend the next few hours 315 00:13:21,513 --> 00:13:26,301 - reliving my entire life. - And... done! 316 00:13:26,335 --> 00:13:29,771 What? How did you do this? 317 00:13:29,805 --> 00:13:32,540 Please, I've had this whole thing mapped out in my mind for years. 318 00:13:32,574 --> 00:13:35,510 You... pressed flowers... 319 00:13:35,544 --> 00:13:38,546 and put my favorite music lyrics beneath each photo. 320 00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:41,482 Take some time with it. [chuckles] 321 00:13:41,517 --> 00:13:43,935 It's like a beautiful kaleidoscope of my life. 322 00:13:43,969 --> 00:13:45,353 [chuckles] Yeah, touching stuff. 323 00:13:45,371 --> 00:13:46,804 Now, I've got to get to that dance. 324 00:13:46,839 --> 00:13:49,440 The jam's not gonna pump itself up. [chuckles] 325 00:13:49,475 --> 00:13:50,909 While Erica's plan had failed, 326 00:13:50,943 --> 00:13:53,261 my Dad was giving his one more shot. 327 00:13:53,296 --> 00:13:55,446 Hey, uh, bar, you got a sec? 328 00:13:55,481 --> 00:13:59,884 I think we should have a talk, man to man. 329 00:13:59,935 --> 00:14:02,237 Really? Okay. 330 00:14:02,271 --> 00:14:05,340 I've never been a great communicator, 331 00:14:05,374 --> 00:14:09,961 so I think I should keep things as direct and exact as possible. 332 00:14:10,012 --> 00:14:12,530 - All right. - So, we're not just gonna have the talk. 333 00:14:12,564 --> 00:14:15,350 We're gonna experience the talk. 334 00:14:15,384 --> 00:14:16,668 We're gonna do some role-playing. 335 00:14:16,719 --> 00:14:19,354 I'm gonna be the girl. You'll be the boy. 336 00:14:19,388 --> 00:14:22,490 And we're gonna learn where babies come from with our hands. 337 00:14:22,508 --> 00:14:24,309 - Take a fraggle. - I don't want the fraggle. 338 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:25,977 [high-pitched voice] I'm a pretty fraggle girl. 339 00:14:26,028 --> 00:14:29,380 Would you like to come up to my condo for a nightcap? 340 00:14:29,431 --> 00:14:33,868 I've been so lonely since I put myself through nursing school. 341 00:14:33,902 --> 00:14:35,369 Fraggles don't own condos! 342 00:14:35,387 --> 00:14:38,189 Take it. Put your hand in the fraggle. 343 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:39,958 Keep the fraggle away from me! 344 00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:42,727 - Take it now! - Stop it! I was messing with you! 345 00:14:42,778 --> 00:14:46,247 - I know everything, okay? - I know you know everything. 346 00:14:46,265 --> 00:14:49,200 - Then why are you torturing me? - Because you tortured me! 347 00:14:49,234 --> 00:14:51,185 What kind of moron makes their dad 348 00:14:51,203 --> 00:14:53,287 give them the talk when they don't need the talk? 349 00:14:53,305 --> 00:14:56,924 - Who does that? - Me. And you know why? 350 00:14:56,959 --> 00:14:58,192 'Cause you couldn't be bothered 351 00:14:58,210 --> 00:15:00,661 to have the talk when I actually needed it. 352 00:15:00,679 --> 00:15:02,764 Dads are supposed to teach their kids stuff ... 353 00:15:02,798 --> 00:15:06,734 how to throw a fastball and change a tire and shave. 354 00:15:06,768 --> 00:15:08,569 You never taught me anything! 355 00:15:08,587 --> 00:15:11,038 In my defense, I-I-I know very little. 356 00:15:11,056 --> 00:15:14,642 And fraggles ... they can't be nurses. 357 00:15:14,676 --> 00:15:16,694 They dance their cares away. 358 00:15:17,129 --> 00:15:19,998 As my Dad was striking out at home, 359 00:15:20,032 --> 00:15:22,667 I was ready to hit the dance floor at school. 360 00:15:22,701 --> 00:15:25,286 The only problem was that at a junior-high dance, 361 00:15:25,321 --> 00:15:27,722 kids don't dance, but that didn't matter. 362 00:15:27,756 --> 00:15:30,425 With my Mom distracted by Erica at home, 363 00:15:30,459 --> 00:15:34,896 it was time for me to show Dana my awesome moves. 364 00:15:34,930 --> 00:15:37,148 May I have this dance? [laughs] 365 00:15:37,182 --> 00:15:39,317 Kidding ... I'm just here to chaperone. 366 00:15:39,351 --> 00:15:41,269 Unless you're bored. Then let's boogie. 367 00:15:41,303 --> 00:15:44,638 - [gasps] What are you doing here?! - I told you I'd make it. 368 00:15:44,656 --> 00:15:46,991 - Now I'm gonna need you to leave. - Will you stop with that? 369 00:15:47,026 --> 00:15:49,660 I really want to be here at this dance. 370 00:15:49,695 --> 00:15:51,946 You can't deny me that pleasure, Adam. 371 00:15:51,980 --> 00:15:55,241 - Go away! - But you're the one who asked me 372 00:15:55,242 --> 00:15:58,169 - to teach you how to dance. - It was a mistake. 373 00:15:58,203 --> 00:16:00,338 I asked for your help in a moment of weakness. 374 00:16:00,372 --> 00:16:05,927 - It'll never happen again. - Okay. I guess I'll just go then. 375 00:16:05,961 --> 00:16:07,795 [swishing] 376 00:16:07,829 --> 00:16:10,431 The sound of those swishing parachute pants running away 377 00:16:10,466 --> 00:16:12,100 was the sound of victory. 378 00:16:12,134 --> 00:16:14,895 So, then, why did I feel so bad? 379 00:16:15,585 --> 00:16:16,842 Even though I was forced 380 00:16:16,870 --> 00:16:20,388 to hurt my Mom in the name of love, I had to forge on. 381 00:16:20,439 --> 00:16:22,506 I'd charm Dana with a cup of Hawaiian punch 382 00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:24,008 and then make my move. 383 00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:26,277 Dana. [panting] Hey. 384 00:16:26,311 --> 00:16:27,895 - Want some punch? - No, I'm just gonna go 385 00:16:27,930 --> 00:16:31,149 hang outside until my Mom dances herself out. 386 00:16:31,183 --> 00:16:32,917 I didn't know your mom was a chaperone. 387 00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:34,853 Yeah, and she went out for margaritas with the 388 00:16:34,930 --> 00:16:38,327 other moms before the dance. It's so humiliating. 389 00:16:39,091 --> 00:16:42,143 Turns out, my Mom was right about one thing ... 390 00:16:42,177 --> 00:16:44,595 - Every kid is embarrassed by their parents. - Mom! 391 00:16:44,630 --> 00:16:47,065 - And ave me an idea. - Mom! 392 00:16:47,099 --> 00:16:48,899 Don't worry. I'm just leaving. 393 00:16:48,917 --> 00:16:53,371 - No. I need your help. - Oh, no. You don't get my help. 394 00:16:53,405 --> 00:16:55,440 Not after you said you're never gonna ask for it again. 395 00:16:55,474 --> 00:16:57,742 - That's not how this works. - I'm sorry, okay? 396 00:16:57,776 --> 00:16:59,811 Sometimes, I need your help. 397 00:16:59,845 --> 00:17:02,947 But sometimes, I just want you gone. 398 00:17:02,965 --> 00:17:06,951 - Well, that's confusing! - I know. It makes no sense. 399 00:17:06,985 --> 00:17:09,137 But for now, that's just how it's gonna be. 400 00:17:09,188 --> 00:17:12,373 - So, what do you want? - I want you to go on that dance floor 401 00:17:12,424 --> 00:17:17,678 - and just... be yourself. - I can do that. 402 00:17:17,713 --> 00:17:19,614 we can dance if we want to 403 00:17:19,648 --> 00:17:22,083 we can leave your friends behind 404 00:17:22,117 --> 00:17:24,218 'cause your friends don't dance, and if they don't dance 405 00:17:24,269 --> 00:17:26,170 well, they're no friends of mine 406 00:17:26,188 --> 00:17:29,157 say, we can go where we want to 407 00:17:29,208 --> 00:17:31,008 a place where they will never find 408 00:17:31,043 --> 00:17:33,861 and we can act like we come from out of this world 409 00:17:33,912 --> 00:17:35,579 - # leave the real one far behind # - Well, what do you know? 410 00:17:35,597 --> 00:17:37,732 No one's looking at your mom anymore. 411 00:17:37,783 --> 00:17:41,585 - Did you do that for me? - Well, I definitely didn't do it for me. 412 00:17:45,224 --> 00:17:47,942 we can go where we want to 413 00:17:47,993 --> 00:17:49,243 - # the night is young, and so am I # - Adult Adam: My plan had worked. 414 00:17:49,294 --> 00:17:50,661 I'd saved Dana, 415 00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:52,764 but I couldn't have predicted what happened next. 416 00:17:52,798 --> 00:17:57,051 My Mom actually got junior-high-school kids to dance... 417 00:17:57,102 --> 00:17:59,312 and it was epic. 418 00:17:59,347 --> 00:18:01,155 and you can act real rude and tolly removed 419 00:18:01,190 --> 00:18:03,324 and I can act like an imbecile 420 00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:05,910 say, we can dance, we can dance 421 00:18:05,928 --> 00:18:07,912 everything's out of control 422 00:18:07,930 --> 00:18:11,882 [Survivor's "the Search is Over" plays] 423 00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:15,303 - # how can I convince you # - Come on! I like the fast ones! 424 00:18:15,354 --> 00:18:16,766 You know what? I'm gonna go out and get some fresh air. 425 00:18:16,767 --> 00:18:17,472 Why don't you come with me? 426 00:18:17,523 --> 00:18:19,890 - # what you see is real? # - Have fun, baby. 427 00:18:19,908 --> 00:18:23,511 - Adult Adam: Normally, we don't say "I love you" in our family. - # who am I to blame you # 428 00:18:23,562 --> 00:18:27,381 - Luckily for me, my Mom could read lips. - # for doubting what you feel? # 429 00:18:27,432 --> 00:18:30,734 I was always reachin' 430 00:18:30,752 --> 00:18:35,923 you were just a girl I knew 431 00:18:35,974 --> 00:18:39,877 I took for granted the friend I have in you 432 00:18:39,895 --> 00:18:44,248 - Want some company? - I am a terrible father. 433 00:18:44,266 --> 00:18:46,354 - I'll take that as a yes. - I was living for a dream 434 00:18:46,389 --> 00:18:48,903 [sighs] I don't even know how to talk to my kids. 435 00:18:48,937 --> 00:18:50,171 - I'm aware. - loving for a moment 436 00:18:50,222 --> 00:18:51,772 I always thought that I would do 437 00:18:51,807 --> 00:18:54,091 - everything different than my Dad did. - taking on the world 438 00:18:54,126 --> 00:18:55,977 - And look at me ... I'm just like him. - that was just my style 439 00:18:56,028 --> 00:18:58,930 - Murray, you're nothing like him. - What are you talking about? 440 00:18:58,964 --> 00:19:00,464 - We both look alike. - now I look into your eyes 441 00:19:00,482 --> 00:19:02,416 We both scream all the time. 442 00:19:02,451 --> 00:19:04,685 - We both walk around in our underwear. - I can see forever 443 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,437 But your dad would never be out here 444 00:19:06,471 --> 00:19:09,457 - right now, feeling like this. - the search is over 445 00:19:09,491 --> 00:19:12,505 - And that's why you're different. - you were with me all the while 446 00:19:12,540 --> 00:19:15,546 Adult Adam: As for my Dad, he'd never be a good communicator. 447 00:19:15,581 --> 00:19:17,899 can we last forever? 448 00:19:17,933 --> 00:19:19,534 Damn it! 449 00:19:19,568 --> 00:19:21,318 - Has anyone seen the bottle opener? - will we fall apart? 450 00:19:21,336 --> 00:19:23,387 But he was still able to teach you a few things. 451 00:19:23,421 --> 00:19:24,939 at times it's so confusing 452 00:19:24,990 --> 00:19:27,625 - Here. Let me show you something. - the questions of the heart 453 00:19:27,659 --> 00:19:30,412 - Ooh. - Little party trick. 454 00:19:30,447 --> 00:19:32,280 - The ladies love it. - you followed me through changes 455 00:19:32,331 --> 00:19:34,498 - Not bad. - and patiently you'd wait 456 00:19:34,533 --> 00:19:35,600 Don't just stand there. 457 00:19:35,634 --> 00:19:37,618 Go get another one, and I'll show you how. 458 00:19:37,653 --> 00:19:40,054 till I came to my senses through some miracle of fate 459 00:19:40,088 --> 00:19:45,109 That night, I learned that some events can't be captured in a scrapbook. 460 00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:47,511 I was living for a dream 461 00:19:47,545 --> 00:19:49,680 You just got to be there and witness them yourself. 462 00:19:49,715 --> 00:19:53,317 loving for a moment 463 00:19:53,335 --> 00:19:56,888 then I touched your hand 464 00:19:56,922 --> 00:20:00,474 I could hear you whisper 465 00:20:00,509 --> 00:20:02,626 the search is over 466 00:20:02,644 --> 00:20:11,485 love was right before my eyes 467 00:20:13,537 --> 00:20:17,105 [dance music plays] 468 00:20:20,693 --> 00:20:21,993 Mrs. Goldberg. 469 00:20:22,028 --> 00:20:26,314 Mrs. Goldberg! It's time to go home. 470 00:20:26,332 --> 00:20:29,984 Mm, dances don't really end, and the invitation for this one said, 471 00:20:30,002 --> 00:20:35,206 - "6:00 to question mark," so... - That was a 9. 472 00:20:35,257 --> 00:20:38,760 [sighs] 473 00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:49,154 [shutting down switches] [music stops] 474 00:20:49,188 --> 00:20:51,255 Okay, well, that was just rude. 475 00:20:53,279 --> 00:20:56,267 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ addic7ed.com ~ 476 00:20:56,317 --> 00:21:00,867 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39102

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