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1
00:00:00,084 --> 00:00:01,299
Previously...
2
00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:03,085
You're leaving.
3
00:00:03,744 --> 00:00:04,794
I love you.
4
00:00:06,382 --> 00:00:08,257
Rebecca, this is Robin Wiley,
my big sis.
5
00:00:09,021 --> 00:00:11,719
I do have feelings for Robin.
I'm gonna call her.
6
00:00:11,888 --> 00:00:13,846
I have an announcement.
Fisher and I are dating.
7
00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:15,371
And I'm a lesbian.
8
00:00:15,496 --> 00:00:17,375
- Where's Evan?
- We broke up.
9
00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:19,935
We didn't exactly...
10
00:00:20,060 --> 00:00:21,812
bring out the best in each other.
11
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:25,441
Once upon a fraternity,
this house was full of kleptos.
12
00:00:25,610 --> 00:00:27,249
I know you have our founder's bust.
13
00:00:27,374 --> 00:00:29,470
- Haven't seen it.
- You have 24 hours to return it
14
00:00:29,595 --> 00:00:30,738
or we'll take it.
15
00:00:30,907 --> 00:00:32,782
Why do you always have
to go to extremes?
16
00:00:32,951 --> 00:00:35,522
The Kappa Taus could be
in some big trouble.
17
00:00:35,647 --> 00:00:37,953
- If you know something...
- I don't.
18
00:00:38,333 --> 00:00:39,622
All right, let's go, boys!
19
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:42,896
I know you guys went to the wedding.
20
00:00:43,021 --> 00:00:44,251
Did anything happen?
21
00:00:44,654 --> 00:00:46,203
- I kissed her.
- What?
22
00:00:46,328 --> 00:00:48,255
- Let me explain...
- I don't wanna hear.
23
00:00:48,424 --> 00:00:49,924
- Wanna hit me?
- No.
24
00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:52,468
- Please, hit me.
- Dude, would you shut up?
25
00:00:54,931 --> 00:00:57,515
He can start his 50 hours
community service next week.
26
00:00:57,684 --> 00:01:00,685
- We can still be friends.
- Might be better if we weren't.
27
00:01:00,937 --> 00:01:03,020
This whole fraternity thing,
it's not for me.
28
00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:07,220
- Tell me why your brother quit.
- Because I kissed Jordan.
29
00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:10,451
I thought you were better than that.
30
00:01:11,890 --> 00:01:14,482
Get me some nachos.
But, remember,
31
00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:18,109
Cilantro!
32
00:01:18,234 --> 00:01:19,568
Nice!
33
00:01:26,969 --> 00:01:28,591
Same time next week, pledges,
34
00:01:28,716 --> 00:01:31,511
when we'll discuss
the Kappa Tau founders as told through
35
00:01:31,636 --> 00:01:33,134
the art of kabuki theater.
36
00:01:39,153 --> 00:01:40,683
Excellent puppeteering, guys.
37
00:01:41,662 --> 00:01:43,811
Where's your bro?
He missed the pledge meeting.
38
00:01:44,182 --> 00:01:46,649
You didn't hear?
Andylicious de-pledged.
39
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:48,247
Seriously? Why?
40
00:01:49,694 --> 00:01:52,278
He just felt that football took up
too much of his time, and...
41
00:01:52,791 --> 00:01:55,156
And Rusty scammed on his girlfriend.
42
00:01:56,534 --> 00:01:58,826
Didn't think you were capable
of such a douche move.
43
00:01:59,357 --> 00:02:01,957
I guess we *** to watch out
for Spitter's douche moves.
44
00:02:02,082 --> 00:02:05,082
Guys, it was not like that.
There were a lot of reasons.
45
00:02:05,251 --> 00:02:07,960
- Like you being a douche mover?
- Cap, come on.
46
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,796
You move douchily,
we call you out on it.
47
00:02:11,233 --> 00:02:13,811
That's how it works.
It's all part of the brotherhood.
48
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:17,111
As long as you guys
don't really think I'm a jerk.
49
00:02:18,658 --> 00:02:20,527
- You're a good guy.
- You're Spitter.
50
00:02:20,652 --> 00:02:23,137
- I like your shoes.
- You're good. Good stuff.
51
00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:27,338
Beer pong, anyone?
52
00:02:34,466 --> 00:02:36,154
Darn.
I'd love to stay,
53
00:02:36,279 --> 00:02:38,930
but I have that community service
to fulfill.
54
00:02:39,055 --> 00:02:41,702
Thanks to that stolen football.
55
00:02:41,871 --> 00:02:44,389
That's why Andy tried to nail you
with the football.
56
00:02:44,514 --> 00:02:47,027
It was 'cause you scammed
on his girl.
57
00:02:47,152 --> 00:02:49,362
Thanks.
I can't hear that enough.
58
00:02:50,191 --> 00:02:52,018
Bye-bye, Douche Mover!
59
00:03:02,313 --> 00:03:03,557
You're not busy, right?
60
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:05,768
I'm just emailing Max.
What's up?
61
00:03:05,937 --> 00:03:08,020
Normally I'd ask Ashleigh,
the one with style.
62
00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:10,597
But since she's away with Fisher,
you'll have to do.
63
00:03:10,722 --> 00:03:13,818
Which outfit is better
for my first lesbian date with Robin?
64
00:03:14,713 --> 00:03:16,737
You're really going on a date
with Robin?
65
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:19,398
That's why I just said
I'm going on a date with Robin.
66
00:03:21,398 --> 00:03:24,912
I didn't realize you were so sincere
about this lesbian thing.
67
00:03:25,081 --> 00:03:27,310
- I just thought you wanted attention.
- Unlike some people
68
00:03:27,435 --> 00:03:30,251
I don't need to consult everyone
I know when I make a decision.
69
00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:32,378
Except when it comes
to deciding what to wear.
70
00:03:32,547 --> 00:03:33,337
Funny.
71
00:03:34,051 --> 00:03:35,946
I don't even know why I asked.
72
00:03:38,071 --> 00:03:39,818
Wait a minute.
I can call Robin
73
00:03:39,943 --> 00:03:42,680
and see what she's wearing.
Dating a girl has many hidden benefits.
74
00:03:50,645 --> 00:03:52,481
Did you forget
you don't live here anymore?
75
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:59,738
We wanna leave Iota Kappa
and come back to ZBZ.
76
00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:12,334
-=Greek 218=-
"Divine Secrets and the ZBZ Sisterhood"
77
00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:14,278
Kappa Team
78
00:04:15,533 --> 00:04:17,965
Frannie petitioned Panhellenic
for membership weeks ago
79
00:04:18,134 --> 00:04:19,522
and we haven't heard anything.
80
00:04:19,647 --> 00:04:22,769
Which means we won't get
to do anything for homecoming.
81
00:04:23,134 --> 00:04:25,187
I had so many float ideas.
82
00:04:26,871 --> 00:04:27,769
And?
83
00:04:27,894 --> 00:04:29,440
Like a fairy float.
84
00:04:29,565 --> 00:04:31,140
Or butterflies.
85
00:04:31,265 --> 00:04:32,605
Or dragonflies.
86
00:04:33,099 --> 00:04:35,189
Maybe all kinds of things that fly.
87
00:04:35,588 --> 00:04:36,388
Birds.
88
00:04:36,513 --> 00:04:39,773
Look, I'm sorry for you guys,
but no one forced you to...
89
00:04:40,406 --> 00:04:41,847
Please! Joan, the landlady,
90
00:04:41,972 --> 00:04:45,457
likes to wander into our beds
and spoon with us when she's drunk.
91
00:04:45,582 --> 00:04:47,244
She's drunk a lot.
92
00:04:47,497 --> 00:04:50,121
And some
of the pledges Frannie recruited are...
93
00:04:50,934 --> 00:04:54,066
How do I say this without sounding mean?
Pathetic.
94
00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:58,588
One of them barfed up all over
my Laura Ashley bedspread.
95
00:04:59,056 --> 00:05:02,289
And she was doing it
with my boyfriend at the time.
96
00:05:02,537 --> 00:05:05,155
That's what happens
when you only have
97
00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:07,263
beer and boys to lure new pledges.
98
00:05:07,388 --> 00:05:10,602
And Frannie can't kick them out
because she needs their dues?
99
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:14,254
- I am so glad you understand.
- I totally understand
100
00:05:14,379 --> 00:05:18,067
why you wanna come back.
That doesn't mean we're going to let you
101
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:20,619
That place is getting worse
than the Kappa Tau house.
102
00:05:20,744 --> 00:05:24,376
I got back with my creepy ex-boyfriend
just so I could use his shower.
103
00:05:24,784 --> 00:05:28,012
- Jared? With the teeny-tiny...
- Look at who I've become,
104
00:05:28,588 --> 00:05:30,204
You've got to get us out of there.
105
00:05:30,641 --> 00:05:33,004
Even if I wanted to let you back in,
106
00:05:33,508 --> 00:05:35,244
which I'm not sure if I do,
107
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:37,962
I'm not president anymore
and Ashleigh is out of town.
108
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:41,647
When she gets back,
can't you just convince her?
109
00:05:42,497 --> 00:05:44,924
- Please?
- I'll see what I can do.
110
00:05:55,663 --> 00:05:57,606
I'm supposed to be cleaning up
the area.
111
00:05:57,835 --> 00:05:59,792
And I didn't ask for you
to keep me company.
112
00:05:59,917 --> 00:06:02,152
You didn't have to ask.
I could tell you wanted it.
113
00:06:02,365 --> 00:06:03,815
Remember last year?
114
00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:05,489
We were so young and innocent.
115
00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:09,731
We took for granted how new
and exciting everything was.
116
00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:12,947
- Our relationships...
- Speak for yourself.
117
00:06:13,072 --> 00:06:15,427
I appreciate my Sheila every day.
118
00:06:16,002 --> 00:06:18,167
Now everything just kind of sucks.
119
00:06:18,292 --> 00:06:19,587
Cappie's even mad at me.
120
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:22,346
He did seem a little moody
on the phone this morning.
121
00:06:22,698 --> 00:06:23,698
He called?
122
00:06:24,604 --> 00:06:26,661
Not for you.
We chat occasionally.
123
00:06:28,111 --> 00:06:31,361
Did he mention to you anything
about Andy de-pledging?
124
00:06:31,486 --> 00:06:33,680
He seems to be taking it personally
for some reason.
125
00:06:33,805 --> 00:06:35,322
The subject never came up.
126
00:06:35,447 --> 00:06:37,389
He did tell me to keep you away
from Sheila.
127
00:06:37,514 --> 00:06:39,106
As if you had a shot.
128
00:06:39,979 --> 00:06:40,779
Great.
129
00:06:40,904 --> 00:06:42,317
We had a long talk
130
00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:44,679
about which sense
we could lose the easiest.
131
00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:47,087
Like, everybody says smell,
132
00:06:47,212 --> 00:06:50,409
but we agree that hearing is overrated.
What are you looking at?
133
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:53,203
Don't look at that.
Did you touch it?
134
00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:55,040
- Did your hands burn?
- What is it?
135
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:56,790
It's pretty elaborate for graffiti.
136
00:06:56,959 --> 00:07:00,001
It's the symbol of the Amphora Society,
CRU's secret cult.
137
00:07:00,660 --> 00:07:02,463
Kind of like the devil's 666,
you know?
138
00:07:02,834 --> 00:07:04,384
They put the symbol around campus
139
00:07:04,509 --> 00:07:06,278
to signal they're about
to tap new members.
140
00:07:06,403 --> 00:07:09,428
Really? Like one of those
ultra-elite secret societies?
141
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,682
Like Skull and Bones?
Is this where they meet or something?
142
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:14,626
I don't mess around
with any of that stuff.
143
00:07:14,751 --> 00:07:16,685
It's bad enough when Sheila
read me my horoscope.
144
00:07:17,026 --> 00:07:18,062
It's kind of cool.
145
00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:20,272
Avert your eyes.
146
00:07:26,001 --> 00:07:27,001
Wait up!
147
00:07:29,864 --> 00:07:30,964
How are you?
148
00:07:31,958 --> 00:07:34,005
Do you even know my last name?
149
00:07:34,390 --> 00:07:35,496
It starts with a T.
150
00:07:39,670 --> 00:07:42,669
One lesbian kiss
and you're just one of the gays.
151
00:07:42,922 --> 00:07:45,856
Not just a kiss.
Robin and I are going out tonight.
152
00:07:47,197 --> 00:07:49,669
And I came out to everyone
at the ZBZ house,
153
00:07:49,794 --> 00:07:52,678
and they reacted
with such acceptance and understanding.
154
00:07:53,633 --> 00:07:56,000
- Seriously?
- I know it seems fast.
155
00:07:56,125 --> 00:07:58,465
But I'm really excited
about this date.
156
00:07:59,381 --> 00:08:00,881
Then, good for you.
157
00:08:01,006 --> 00:08:04,314
I haven't been excited about
a dating prospect since last year.
158
00:08:04,439 --> 00:08:07,978
Maybe I should be a little bit more open
get myslef back out there.
159
00:08:08,459 --> 00:08:10,864
- Maybe you're being too picky.
- I'm not gonna date girls.
160
00:08:11,296 --> 00:08:13,651
I'm enjoying
my expanded dating pool.
161
00:08:14,049 --> 00:08:17,897
Just don't go too fast. These things
take a little while to figure out,
162
00:08:18,022 --> 00:08:19,022
process.
163
00:08:20,001 --> 00:08:22,920
Not every gay person has to go
through a self-loathing shame spiral
164
00:08:23,045 --> 00:08:24,169
before coming out.
165
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,296
Then, welcome to the team.
166
00:08:26,584 --> 00:08:29,258
Our uniforms come in lavender
for boys and denim for girls.
167
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,696
Your last name starts with an S.
168
00:08:31,821 --> 00:08:33,052
Are you sure?
169
00:08:34,403 --> 00:08:35,806
What are you wearing right now?
170
00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:39,601
A sweater? I should have known.
You always get chilly.
171
00:08:40,541 --> 00:08:43,981
This is crazy.
All these CRU message boards are devoted
172
00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:47,156
to finding the hidden lair
of the Amphora Society.
173
00:08:47,445 --> 00:08:49,611
In 1926, it was started as a place
174
00:08:49,864 --> 00:08:51,947
for CRU's greatest minds
to debate philosophy.
175
00:08:52,348 --> 00:08:55,055
Now they recognize
ten students per year
176
00:08:55,180 --> 00:08:57,077
for contributions to the university.
177
00:08:57,335 --> 00:09:01,333
Their rituals have resisted discovery
for over 80 years.
178
00:09:01,746 --> 00:09:03,208
I think I just got goose bumps.
179
00:09:03,563 --> 00:09:05,210
All right, Sheila, I gotta go.
180
00:09:05,463 --> 00:09:08,771
Sound like Rusty's right on the verge
of another dangerous obsession.
181
00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:09,798
Stay warm.
182
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:11,683
You hang up.
183
00:09:11,893 --> 00:09:14,684
You hang up first.
You hang up first.
184
00:09:17,465 --> 00:09:18,621
Listen to this.
185
00:09:18,746 --> 00:09:22,252
The Amphora Society is named
for the ancient Greek two-handled urn.
186
00:09:22,377 --> 00:09:24,900
People have been trying
to find their lair for decades.
187
00:09:25,025 --> 00:09:27,683
Some people think
it's in a deserted bomb shelter
188
00:09:27,808 --> 00:09:29,099
near the library,
189
00:09:29,224 --> 00:09:31,870
or in the underground
maintenance tunnels.
190
00:09:32,852 --> 00:09:33,822
My God.
191
00:09:33,991 --> 00:09:36,658
One of the Amphora hunters, the guy
with the maintenance tunnel theory?
192
00:09:37,374 --> 00:09:39,661
Last posting three years ago.
193
00:09:39,914 --> 00:09:42,104
- Screen name Cappie.
- Never would've expected him
194
00:09:42,229 --> 00:09:43,783
to be so weak-minded.
195
00:09:44,046 --> 00:09:47,044
This is it. This is how I can get back
in Cappie's good graces.
196
00:09:47,473 --> 00:09:50,964
We hunt for this together. We'll bond
and the awkwardness will disappear.
197
00:09:51,269 --> 00:09:53,467
- And you have to come with me.
- Absolutely not.
198
00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:56,619
Come on, please. He's pissed at me,
but he likes you.
199
00:09:56,744 --> 00:09:59,848
You guys are phone buddies now.
You have to convince him to do it
200
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,441
You curious?
This is what you all about?
201
00:10:03,566 --> 00:10:06,352
They're all about pagan rituals
and controlling the government.
202
00:10:06,477 --> 00:10:07,560
They're insidious.
203
00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:09,439
They're like the ACLU.
204
00:10:09,564 --> 00:10:11,610
I haven't heard you
so fired up since U-SAG.
205
00:10:12,228 --> 00:10:15,739
Please. This is a way bigger enemy
than your little Greek system.
206
00:10:16,170 --> 00:10:18,475
And you're really comfortable
just letting them be?
207
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:21,891
I'd rather see them exposed
and discredited, of course, but...
208
00:10:24,282 --> 00:10:26,126
It's always my sense of duty
209
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,576
that comes back to bite me
in the bottom like this.
210
00:10:28,701 --> 00:10:29,920
Darn you, Rusty.
211
00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:34,258
Let's get Cappie, find these fools
and shut 'em down.
212
00:10:55,799 --> 00:10:57,994
Couldn't believe my luck
when I saw you,
213
00:10:58,119 --> 00:11:01,034
a fellow Detroit Lions fan brave
enough to show his face in public.
214
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:03,549
What can I say?
We're a special breed.
215
00:11:03,674 --> 00:11:05,825
I don't know what's worse,
their quarterback situation
216
00:11:05,950 --> 00:11:06,957
or their defense.
217
00:11:07,703 --> 00:11:09,153
I'm gonna go a tie.
218
00:11:09,278 --> 00:11:10,404
I'm Jess, man.
219
00:11:11,924 --> 00:11:15,465
With the Detroit Lions shirt.
And the completely shredded pecs.
220
00:11:16,487 --> 00:11:19,479
Thanks.
You're in pretty good shape yourself.
221
00:11:19,604 --> 00:11:22,184
I've got nothing on you.
I need to work on my chest.
222
00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:24,016
What do you think?
223
00:11:26,780 --> 00:11:27,780
It's good.
224
00:11:29,607 --> 00:11:30,522
Really good.
225
00:11:33,249 --> 00:11:35,938
You know,
the Lions are actually playing tonight.
226
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:40,280
We could go watch at Dobler's
and drown our sorrows.
227
00:11:43,238 --> 00:11:45,474
- Sure. That sounds great.
- Great.
228
00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:51,084
Watch out for the...
229
00:11:52,374 --> 00:11:54,474
Just gonna do a little bit of...
230
00:11:58,332 --> 00:11:59,732
Run, gazelle, run!
231
00:12:05,004 --> 00:12:07,351
Natural selection
wins out every time.
232
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:15,338
Douche Mover.
233
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,486
To what do I owe this interruption?
234
00:12:25,955 --> 00:12:29,956
Cappie, I have something behind my back
that's going to make you very happy.
235
00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:31,666
Sounds like Heath's department.
236
00:12:41,031 --> 00:12:42,531
The Amphora Society.
237
00:12:44,019 --> 00:12:47,307
That's a name I've not heard
in a long, long time.
238
00:12:47,721 --> 00:12:48,821
A long time.
239
00:12:51,610 --> 00:12:54,247
I watched my youth slip away
searching for them.
240
00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:57,776
Don't you get enough secular ritual
at the Kappa Tau house?
241
00:12:58,028 --> 00:13:00,652
Why join
what's essentially another fraternity?
242
00:13:01,008 --> 00:13:04,458
Please.
The Amphoras are far from a fraternity.
243
00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:07,092
Fraternities are about parties
and meeting girls.
244
00:13:07,217 --> 00:13:08,909
The Amphoras are about...
245
00:13:10,798 --> 00:13:13,694
I don't know, because they're secret.
That's what's so cool.
246
00:13:13,819 --> 00:13:16,002
They have their own lair.
Who wouldn't wanna meet in it?
247
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:18,839
So the three of us
can find it together.
248
00:13:19,091 --> 00:13:20,340
Isn't that just perfect?
249
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:23,499
No, thanks, Spitter.
I once hunted Amphora.
250
00:13:23,624 --> 00:13:27,157
Some say I came closer to finding them
than anyone ever did.
251
00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:30,142
But I left that fruitless quest
behind my freshman year.
252
00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:33,186
But we need your amazing instincts
and street smarts.
253
00:13:33,439 --> 00:13:35,004
We don't.
We're geniuses.
254
00:13:38,691 --> 00:13:41,636
But please help us.
I'm practically useless.
255
00:13:41,761 --> 00:13:44,865
I got no sense of direction.
I get lost in the apartment.
256
00:13:45,461 --> 00:13:47,576
That is true. It's almost
like a learning disability.
257
00:13:48,742 --> 00:13:50,953
Plus, what could be more fun
258
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:52,998
than friends solving
a mystery together?
259
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:56,168
We'll have an amazing adventure,
a time we'll never forget.
260
00:13:56,904 --> 00:13:58,521
I understand
what you're trying to do.
261
00:13:58,646 --> 00:14:00,922
- I'm not interested.
- Come on. Please, Cap?
262
00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:02,391
Just as a favor.
263
00:14:02,912 --> 00:14:04,362
I'll tell you what.
264
00:14:05,775 --> 00:14:08,555
My research is all yours.
Other then that, you're on your own.
265
00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:10,432
Some things you just
gotta let be, OK?
266
00:14:10,781 --> 00:14:14,000
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm late for my workout.
267
00:14:16,148 --> 00:14:18,565
- You work out?
- Survival of the fittest.
268
00:14:19,030 --> 00:14:21,230
It's a jungle out there, Spitter.
269
00:14:36,413 --> 00:14:38,138
Hey, Becks. How's your soup?
270
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:40,128
What do you want?
271
00:14:40,674 --> 00:14:43,605
Look, something major happened and...
I need some advice.
272
00:14:43,730 --> 00:14:46,301
I can't get in touch with Ashleigh,
Max is on London time...
273
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,596
And you've gone through the 999 people
on your advice list.
274
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,206
It's not that long of a list.
275
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,482
Well, if it's boy advice,
that's not really my thing anymore.
276
00:14:55,607 --> 00:14:58,865
Yes, I know you haven't been into boys
for the past two days.
277
00:14:59,470 --> 00:15:01,525
It's about girls. IKI girls.
278
00:15:01,777 --> 00:15:03,443
A bunch of them
wanna come back to ZBZ.
279
00:15:04,227 --> 00:15:05,483
Isn't that crazy?
280
00:15:05,869 --> 00:15:06,821
I mean...
281
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:10,386
Like we'd even let them darken
our doorstep after what they did, right?
282
00:15:10,511 --> 00:15:13,578
When you ask for advice,
is it an excuse to hear yourself talk?
283
00:15:14,124 --> 00:15:17,273
Sorry.
I guess I'm looking for your opinion.
284
00:15:17,398 --> 00:15:20,322
My opinion is: Of course
we should let them back in the house.
285
00:15:21,078 --> 00:15:23,737
A foolproof chance to vanquish
Frannie once and for all.
286
00:15:23,862 --> 00:15:27,483
You'd be crazy not to decimate her house
the way she tried to decimate ours.
287
00:15:27,608 --> 00:15:30,841
I guess I just feel, I don't know...
288
00:15:31,450 --> 00:15:34,975
Kind of sorry for Frannie?
Her life seems so pathetic right now.
289
00:15:35,227 --> 00:15:37,310
Pathetic? Please. It's an act.
290
00:15:37,650 --> 00:15:41,022
Don't tell me you're falling for it.
Trust me, I saw it when I was a mole.
291
00:15:41,433 --> 00:15:43,765
When she starts playing
"nice Frannie", brace yourself.
292
00:15:44,703 --> 00:15:46,444
She seems kind of sad.
293
00:15:46,890 --> 00:15:49,364
I'm sure Osama bin Laden cried
when his cat died.
294
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,324
But don't go with him
in a cave for that.
295
00:15:53,333 --> 00:15:55,287
Please tell me
you're not still trying to decide.
296
00:15:58,372 --> 00:16:00,633
I can't believe
you're still going through with this.
297
00:16:01,521 --> 00:16:03,422
If we can tell Cappie
we found the lair,
298
00:16:03,547 --> 00:16:06,089
he'll be so blown away,
he'll have to forgive me.
299
00:16:07,020 --> 00:16:10,234
At least he gave us
his Amphora notebook. It's amazing.
300
00:16:11,054 --> 00:16:12,953
If he devoted himself
this hard to his studies,
301
00:16:13,078 --> 00:16:14,848
he'd probably be valedictorian.
302
00:16:15,435 --> 00:16:19,185
It says pass the "Proceed with Caution"
sign and then go ten more yards.
303
00:16:19,675 --> 00:16:21,313
He apparently followed some rumored
304
00:16:21,565 --> 00:16:24,082
Amphora member
named Lynn Martin here.
305
00:16:24,537 --> 00:16:27,418
He also notes that
she has an excellent butt.
306
00:16:28,357 --> 00:16:29,876
So much for valedictorian.
307
00:16:30,001 --> 00:16:32,031
He called me Spitter
instead of Douche Mover.
308
00:16:32,156 --> 00:16:33,206
Did you notice?
309
00:16:33,331 --> 00:16:35,274
How exactly does one move douche?
310
00:16:35,399 --> 00:16:37,111
But then he dissed us.
311
00:16:38,571 --> 00:16:39,571
Wait.
312
00:16:41,884 --> 00:16:43,363
Did you just hear something?
313
00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:45,692
I think we're getting close.
314
00:16:45,980 --> 00:16:48,255
I can definitely smell
the cultish evil, you know?
315
00:16:48,380 --> 00:16:49,877
A little pig's blood.
316
00:16:53,712 --> 00:16:54,739
It's holy water.
317
00:16:55,043 --> 00:16:57,891
I know it's Catholic but,
you know, just in case.
318
00:17:01,325 --> 00:17:03,325
- Just in case.
- It's in my eye.
319
00:17:03,533 --> 00:17:04,873
You'll see no evil.
320
00:17:15,542 --> 00:17:17,897
Just try and get me now,
Mr. Cheetah!
321
00:17:18,022 --> 00:17:19,203
This gazelle...
322
00:17:19,671 --> 00:17:21,723
... is halfway to the watering hole.
323
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:24,142
That's good.
324
00:17:35,504 --> 00:17:38,443
Jeez, I can't believe
you went through that with your dad.
325
00:17:38,568 --> 00:17:40,252
And with all the publicity?
326
00:17:40,743 --> 00:17:44,358
I have to admit, I did see
your spring-break video before we met.
327
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:45,647
You did?
328
00:17:45,946 --> 00:17:46,946
Oh, my God.
329
00:17:47,213 --> 00:17:48,483
Had some nice moves.
330
00:17:48,979 --> 00:17:52,070
Seriously, don't worry about it.
When my mom had an affair
331
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:54,155
with my Spanish teacher,
I shaved my head.
332
00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:57,086
Your mom had an affair
with your Spanish teacher?
333
00:17:57,503 --> 00:17:58,993
While he was your teacher?
334
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:01,579
See, and the whole school
found out about it.
335
00:18:02,004 --> 00:18:03,361
There was a silver ling.
336
00:18:03,486 --> 00:18:06,049
My grade went from a D
to an A in like a week.
337
00:18:07,515 --> 00:18:10,630
I haven't met anyone else who's gone
through quite the same humiliation.
338
00:18:20,343 --> 00:18:21,499
A stain stick!
339
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:22,767
Thanks.
340
00:18:24,143 --> 00:18:25,392
You're my...
341
00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:27,523
Heroine.
342
00:18:29,806 --> 00:18:31,693
I stole one of these
from the ZBZ laundry room.
343
00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:32,986
I used to do that!
344
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:40,505
Do not be afraid.
345
00:18:42,091 --> 00:18:44,914
We do not wish you harm.
346
00:18:46,195 --> 00:18:47,588
We are...
347
00:18:48,090 --> 00:18:49,428
Your friends.
348
00:18:50,148 --> 00:18:51,446
James Earl Jones?
349
00:18:53,472 --> 00:18:54,472
Silence!
350
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:59,596
You have been picked
for the most elite honor
351
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:02,393
a Cyprus-Rhodes student can achieve.
352
00:19:02,999 --> 00:19:04,957
You have been permitted to enter
353
00:19:05,082 --> 00:19:07,831
the lair of the Amphora Society.
354
00:19:10,919 --> 00:19:13,574
Those of you who stand before us
355
00:19:13,839 --> 00:19:17,843
have distinguished yourselves
in various ways on campus.
356
00:19:18,081 --> 00:19:21,592
But now you are about
to be joined together
357
00:19:21,717 --> 00:19:23,897
as one for life.
358
00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:26,116
This is so awesome!
359
00:19:29,866 --> 00:19:31,650
And now it's not.
360
00:19:45,319 --> 00:19:48,102
Excuse me. I know we don't know
each other very well, but...
361
00:19:48,460 --> 00:19:51,168
My boyfriend and my best friend
are both out of town.
362
00:19:51,293 --> 00:19:53,157
So could you give me some advice?
363
00:19:53,465 --> 00:19:55,689
I hope those were
all new supplies you used.
364
00:19:55,814 --> 00:19:58,497
I don't want that disgusting
Paula Abdul nail fungus.
365
00:19:58,622 --> 00:20:00,365
Speaking of fungus.
366
00:20:02,609 --> 00:20:05,205
They really need
another nail salon in Cyprus.
367
00:20:05,783 --> 00:20:08,086
- It's fine.
- I can leave if you want.
368
00:20:08,211 --> 00:20:09,999
- Why?
- You're trying to relax.
369
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:11,674
So you're being nice?
370
00:20:13,103 --> 00:20:14,103
Well.
371
00:20:14,804 --> 00:20:16,463
After the wedding, I thought that...
372
00:20:16,588 --> 00:20:18,520
I'm not gonna get
in your cave this time.
373
00:20:20,747 --> 00:20:22,413
I don't even care if your cat died.
374
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,390
Dammit!
375
00:20:25,204 --> 00:20:27,934
- What are you talking about?
- I can't believe I didn't see this.
376
00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:31,020
You sent those defecting Ikis
to be moles in the ZBZ house.
377
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:33,606
And you're keeping me
from being suspicious by being nice.
378
00:20:33,859 --> 00:20:35,464
That's so your MO.
379
00:20:38,458 --> 00:20:39,445
Again, what?
380
00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:42,126
Or, you want me to think they're
defecting so I'll let my guard down,
381
00:20:42,251 --> 00:20:44,951
convinced your house is falling apart
and no longer competition.
382
00:20:45,203 --> 00:20:48,329
Thinking we'll feel so sorry for you
and help you get into Panhellenic. Or...
383
00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:49,482
Wait. Who...
384
00:20:49,607 --> 00:20:51,291
... stopped by ZBZ?
385
00:20:51,849 --> 00:20:53,608
Brenda, Beth,
and the other ex-sisters.
386
00:20:53,733 --> 00:20:55,942
You didn't send them over
pretending to be leaving I-Kap?
387
00:20:56,067 --> 00:20:58,381
Seriously,
I don't think I have any skin left.
388
00:20:58,592 --> 00:21:00,466
The fumes must be getting to you.
389
00:21:00,591 --> 00:21:04,262
There is no way any of my I-Kaps
wanna come back to ZBZ.
390
00:21:04,473 --> 00:21:05,922
Come off it, Frannie!
391
00:21:11,565 --> 00:21:14,439
- I can't believe this.
- Wait. You didn't know?
392
00:21:15,242 --> 00:21:16,107
Or you did.
393
00:21:16,636 --> 00:21:19,543
Or you're trying to make me think
you didn't know. But I know!
394
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:21,380
What?
395
00:21:27,906 --> 00:21:29,112
I have to leave.
396
00:21:44,387 --> 00:21:47,981
The Lions have dug themselves yet
another big hole. It's unlikely...
397
00:21:48,341 --> 00:21:51,841
To the Lions of Detroit. For only
trailing the Packers by 14 at the half.
398
00:21:52,316 --> 00:21:53,316
Cheers.
399
00:21:58,996 --> 00:22:02,019
You're good to drink water.
I gotta ease up on this beer.
400
00:22:02,438 --> 00:22:04,989
When I drink, you can hardly see
any kind of six-pack.
401
00:22:07,544 --> 00:22:09,704
No, there's still
a lot to see there.
402
00:22:10,299 --> 00:22:11,379
Thanks, man.
403
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:12,997
Change the channel!
404
00:22:18,496 --> 00:22:19,496
Man!
405
00:22:20,841 --> 00:22:23,883
I guess we are the only two people
in the world who care about the Lions.
406
00:22:25,535 --> 00:22:26,719
So we can talk more.
407
00:22:29,116 --> 00:22:30,116
Or...
408
00:22:33,748 --> 00:22:34,727
What was that?
409
00:22:35,559 --> 00:22:37,313
I... I don't know.
410
00:22:38,063 --> 00:22:40,441
I think you've got the wrong idea.
I'm straight.
411
00:22:42,555 --> 00:22:44,028
But you said "Or."
412
00:22:44,685 --> 00:22:46,737
You said we could talk "Or..."
413
00:22:46,862 --> 00:22:49,283
Yeah, as in or I could get
my phone out of my jacket,
414
00:22:49,494 --> 00:22:51,502
call my buddy
and watch the game at his house.
415
00:22:51,848 --> 00:22:52,662
Really?
416
00:22:53,125 --> 00:22:54,125
Yeah.
417
00:22:54,664 --> 00:22:56,332
Cause that makes sense, too.
418
00:23:06,331 --> 00:23:09,611
I don't know what I ever saw in guys.
That was so much fun.
419
00:23:09,736 --> 00:23:12,124
I wasn't nervous. I actually ate.
420
00:23:12,326 --> 00:23:16,064
It's like we skipped right over all the
crazy nerve-wracking first-date stuff.
421
00:23:16,761 --> 00:23:19,206
Well, we don't have to skip
over all the first-date stuff.
422
00:23:21,889 --> 00:23:22,889
Right.
423
00:23:25,897 --> 00:23:26,897
So...
424
00:23:28,317 --> 00:23:29,240
So...
425
00:23:42,167 --> 00:23:44,711
Guys act so weird
when they see two women kiss.
426
00:23:48,238 --> 00:23:49,093
So...
427
00:23:50,617 --> 00:23:51,617
I'll call you.
428
00:24:09,432 --> 00:24:10,888
In ancient Egypt,
429
00:24:11,363 --> 00:24:13,993
King Tutankhamen brought to his tomb
430
00:24:14,405 --> 00:24:16,412
36 amphoras of wine,
431
00:24:17,404 --> 00:24:20,074
thinking he would enjoy them
in the afterlife.
432
00:24:20,858 --> 00:24:22,662
These bore the name
433
00:24:22,787 --> 00:24:23,787
Kha'y.
434
00:24:24,397 --> 00:24:26,371
Tutankhamen's royal vintner.
435
00:24:27,607 --> 00:24:28,772
Sip the wine,
436
00:24:29,215 --> 00:24:31,485
then toast the vintner Kha'y.
437
00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:35,912
As the wine passes your lips,
438
00:24:36,273 --> 00:24:37,850
so your immortal soul
439
00:24:38,061 --> 00:24:39,360
passes to us.
440
00:24:52,606 --> 00:24:53,946
I think I'll pass.
441
00:24:56,934 --> 00:24:57,934
Pass?
442
00:24:58,123 --> 00:24:59,100
That's right.
443
00:24:59,225 --> 00:25:02,425
I have no interest in joining a group
who wants this guy as a member.
444
00:25:07,267 --> 00:25:10,368
This has never happened before.
445
00:25:11,926 --> 00:25:13,553
May we have just a moment?
446
00:25:21,535 --> 00:25:22,840
What are you doing?
447
00:25:22,965 --> 00:25:25,366
I thought things were cool.
The past couple of weeks...
448
00:25:25,491 --> 00:25:27,692
You've taken time off
from being a jackass.
449
00:25:27,817 --> 00:25:29,819
I don't wanna pass
my immortal soul with you.
450
00:25:30,267 --> 00:25:31,201
Are you crazy?
451
00:25:31,326 --> 00:25:33,873
You've wanted this since freshman year.
And because of me it's over?
452
00:25:33,998 --> 00:25:36,367
I wanted a lot of stupid things
freshman year.
453
00:25:36,658 --> 00:25:37,660
You in the hood!
454
00:25:40,150 --> 00:25:42,915
- Hooded guy who was speaking?
- Yes?
455
00:25:43,484 --> 00:25:47,134
Listen, don't worry about, me giving
away any of your immortal secrets.
456
00:25:47,259 --> 00:25:49,867
If you just get me out of here,
we'll forget this ever happened.
457
00:25:58,382 --> 00:26:00,346
Has anyone seen my keys?
458
00:26:15,420 --> 00:26:17,617
Are you covered in... soot?
459
00:26:19,642 --> 00:26:23,164
I'm meeting Dale at this orchard
by the agricultural sciences building.
460
00:26:23,375 --> 00:26:26,101
According to the Book of the Amphora,
beneath the tenth apple tree
461
00:26:26,226 --> 00:26:28,881
there's this crypt visible
when the moon fully rises.
462
00:26:29,006 --> 00:26:31,797
The Book of Amphora.
That's a name I haven't heard in a...
463
00:26:32,008 --> 00:26:33,337
Long time, long time.
464
00:26:33,462 --> 00:26:34,258
I know.
465
00:26:34,427 --> 00:26:36,174
Talk about a blast from the past.
466
00:26:36,583 --> 00:26:39,931
Sometimes it hits me how weird it is
that Cappie and Evan don't speak now.
467
00:26:40,141 --> 00:26:41,691
What does Evan have to do with this?
468
00:26:41,816 --> 00:26:43,486
They wrote this book together.
469
00:26:43,868 --> 00:26:45,208
Evan did all the maps.
470
00:26:46,465 --> 00:26:49,023
So Cappie and Evan searched
for the Amphora Society together?
471
00:26:49,316 --> 00:26:50,689
They were obsessed.
472
00:26:51,442 --> 00:26:53,579
It kind of annoyed me,
because it was one of many things
473
00:26:53,704 --> 00:26:55,352
Cappie spent more time on than me.
474
00:26:57,556 --> 00:26:58,491
And then...?
475
00:26:58,660 --> 00:27:01,273
Then Cappie and I broke up.
Ending their friendship
476
00:27:01,398 --> 00:27:03,913
and their search
for the Amphora Society.
477
00:27:05,603 --> 00:27:07,250
I'm surprised
Cappie didn't burn this.
478
00:27:10,378 --> 00:27:12,999
That's why he's so pissed
about the Jordan situation.
479
00:27:13,842 --> 00:27:15,445
Cappie thinks I'm just like Evan.
480
00:27:30,665 --> 00:27:33,109
I gotta go.
The moon fully rises in ten minutes.
481
00:27:50,158 --> 00:27:52,878
No knock? What if I'd been entertaining
a young lady,
482
00:27:53,089 --> 00:27:54,188
as I'm wont to do?
483
00:27:54,392 --> 00:27:57,758
Or entertaing myself, as I'm also
wont to do from time to time.
484
00:27:58,238 --> 00:27:59,385
Knock it off.
485
00:27:59,697 --> 00:28:01,262
Right here, in front of you?
486
00:28:01,473 --> 00:28:02,555
Stop joking around!
487
00:28:05,818 --> 00:28:07,664
I'm not the one who kissed Casey.
488
00:28:07,789 --> 00:28:09,979
Yes, I did do something
that might qualify
489
00:28:10,190 --> 00:28:12,171
as a half-douche move to Andy,
490
00:28:12,513 --> 00:28:13,486
not to you.
491
00:28:13,611 --> 00:28:15,465
Don't tell me you've never made
a douche move.
492
00:28:15,590 --> 00:28:17,424
Sorry, Dr. Phil,
you lost me at the point
493
00:28:17,549 --> 00:28:19,697
where it sounded like you made out
with your own sister.
494
00:28:19,866 --> 00:28:22,197
You know exactly what I'm talking about.
Casey and Evan both
495
00:28:22,322 --> 00:28:25,161
- broke your heart freshman year.
- Let's not be melodramatic.
496
00:28:25,411 --> 00:28:27,250
They broke your heart!
Admit it.
497
00:28:29,463 --> 00:28:30,894
They did something that sucked.
498
00:28:31,019 --> 00:28:33,196
It sucked so much
that you can't get over it,
499
00:28:33,321 --> 00:28:35,122
and you're taking
your anger out on me.
500
00:28:35,247 --> 00:28:38,382
I just happen to think
the way you handled the Andy thing
501
00:28:38,593 --> 00:28:39,754
was kind of lame,
502
00:28:40,077 --> 00:28:42,166
and, yes, a bit Evan-nescent.
503
00:28:42,772 --> 00:28:45,012
Andy's side is easy to understand.
504
00:28:46,083 --> 00:28:47,600
There's another side to the story.
505
00:28:48,368 --> 00:28:51,284
I met Jordan first.
I fell for her first.
506
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,144
She ended up with another guy.
507
00:28:54,359 --> 00:28:56,615
I tried to accept that
and I tried to move on.
508
00:28:57,147 --> 00:29:00,574
And then one night he wasn't
around when she need him, and I was,
509
00:29:01,106 --> 00:29:02,106
and we kissed.
510
00:29:03,517 --> 00:29:06,118
It was lame, but it does not
make me a terrible person.
511
00:29:08,764 --> 00:29:10,315
It doesn't make me Evan.
512
00:29:36,109 --> 00:29:37,412
Thanks for meeting me.
513
00:29:37,704 --> 00:29:39,576
So why all the secrecy?
514
00:29:39,792 --> 00:29:41,112
Don't tell anyone, but...
515
00:29:42,496 --> 00:29:44,072
I think I need some advice.
516
00:29:44,489 --> 00:29:47,709
After one lesbian kiss,
you come out to an entire sority,
517
00:29:47,987 --> 00:29:51,497
- and you're nervous asking for advice?
- indecisiveness as a sign of weakness.
518
00:29:51,864 --> 00:29:55,084
But with this lesbian thing,
I'm a little in over my head.
519
00:29:55,295 --> 00:29:57,878
I'm supposed to see Robin again tonight,
but I'm feeling...
520
00:29:58,504 --> 00:29:59,630
... confused.
521
00:29:59,841 --> 00:30:03,008
- Is confusion a sign of weakness too?
- No. Stupidity.
522
00:30:04,106 --> 00:30:06,601
But listen.
Robin and I had a great date.
523
00:30:06,726 --> 00:30:09,306
But then we kissed,
and it felt... weird.
524
00:30:09,517 --> 00:30:11,150
Weird like she's not a good kisser,
525
00:30:11,394 --> 00:30:13,018
or weird like you're not a lesbian?
526
00:30:13,229 --> 00:30:16,210
Weird like I just had
the most fun ever on a date,
527
00:30:16,335 --> 00:30:19,297
and I really like this girl, and
I think she's really attractive,
528
00:30:19,422 --> 00:30:21,898
but when we kissed after our date,
I didn't have that
529
00:30:22,350 --> 00:30:25,239
awesome, nauseous,
never-let-this-moment-end feeling.
530
00:30:25,450 --> 00:30:28,868
- You felt the sparks before, right?
- Maybe because it was something new.
531
00:30:29,362 --> 00:30:31,742
But I shouldn't give up yet, right?
Worse comes to worst,
532
00:30:31,867 --> 00:30:33,960
I realize I'm not a lesbian
and we end up friends.
533
00:30:34,208 --> 00:30:36,056
No.
Worse comes to worst,
534
00:30:36,239 --> 00:30:39,047
she's totally humiliated
and wants to die of embarrassment.
535
00:30:41,212 --> 00:30:42,212
Sorry.
536
00:30:43,470 --> 00:30:47,474
Me putting myself out there resulted in
me trying to kiss a straight dude
537
00:30:47,889 --> 00:30:49,065
who's not my type.
538
00:30:49,635 --> 00:30:51,000
Because he's straight.
539
00:30:51,726 --> 00:30:53,260
I thought we were out on a date.
540
00:30:53,385 --> 00:30:56,366
Turns out he's just a straight guy
that like to flirts with guys,
541
00:30:56,689 --> 00:30:57,688
apparently.
542
00:30:58,018 --> 00:30:59,773
Sounds like a closet case?
543
00:30:59,984 --> 00:31:02,244
No, I think he's actually straight.
544
00:31:03,021 --> 00:31:06,280
With metrosexuality,
and emo rockers wearing eyeliner,
545
00:31:06,491 --> 00:31:10,451
and bromantic comedies, modern times
are pretty confusing for us gays.
546
00:31:11,077 --> 00:31:13,398
I long for the days when
a tight tank top told you
547
00:31:13,523 --> 00:31:16,332
- everything you needed to know.
- It's confusing for the straights, too.
548
00:31:17,081 --> 00:31:19,275
- Is that how you see yourself?
- I'm not sure.
549
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:21,586
Then my advice to you
would be figure it out fast.
550
00:31:22,071 --> 00:31:23,918
You don't wanna string
the girl along.
551
00:31:24,043 --> 00:31:24,882
Fine!
552
00:31:25,239 --> 00:31:27,522
You really don't like taking advice,
do you?
553
00:31:27,737 --> 00:31:29,506
No. But I do like giving it.
554
00:31:30,075 --> 00:31:32,095
Next time you decide
to expand your dating pool,
555
00:31:32,220 --> 00:31:33,432
stick to gay guys.
556
00:31:37,582 --> 00:31:38,564
Ladies,
557
00:31:38,689 --> 00:31:40,272
I've considered your request.
558
00:31:40,483 --> 00:31:41,483
Thank you.
559
00:31:42,276 --> 00:31:44,318
And I've decided
to recommend to Ashleigh
560
00:31:44,529 --> 00:31:47,446
that we not let you back
into the ZBZ house at this time.
561
00:31:48,222 --> 00:31:49,573
Are you kidding me?
562
00:31:49,784 --> 00:31:52,618
I'd only recommend letting you back in
to spite Frannie anyway,
563
00:31:53,071 --> 00:31:54,960
and I've decided
I don't want to do that.
564
00:31:55,085 --> 00:31:56,702
What are we supposed to do now?
565
00:31:56,827 --> 00:31:59,750
Maybe you should've thought
of that before you left ZBZ.
566
00:32:00,318 --> 00:32:03,909
I guess, try
and make the best of it at the Iki...
567
00:32:04,289 --> 00:32:06,840
excuse me, I-Kap house.
568
00:32:09,563 --> 00:32:10,563
Good luck.
569
00:32:16,956 --> 00:32:18,227
Are you mocking me?
570
00:32:22,020 --> 00:32:23,655
JK! LOL.
571
00:32:39,408 --> 00:32:42,110
Don't worry.
I'm not gonna try to kiss you again.
572
00:32:43,757 --> 00:32:44,757
Thanks.
573
00:32:46,207 --> 00:32:47,207
Sorry.
574
00:32:47,574 --> 00:32:49,633
Look, I get it.
You're straight.
575
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,845
Let's just
pretend this never happened?
576
00:32:53,976 --> 00:32:54,976
Agreed.
577
00:33:01,856 --> 00:33:05,316
Yeah, but, I mean, you have to admit,
you did compliment me on my pecs.
578
00:33:05,688 --> 00:33:08,402
And you showed me your abs
and your chest.
579
00:33:08,884 --> 00:33:10,505
You're a teasy straight guy,
you know?
580
00:33:10,630 --> 00:33:12,714
And don't try to say
you didn't know I was gay.
581
00:33:12,839 --> 00:33:14,417
'Cause you knew I was gay.
582
00:33:14,542 --> 00:33:15,826
OK, I knew you were gay.
583
00:33:16,041 --> 00:33:18,981
OK, but why can't a straight guy
compliment a gay guy?
584
00:33:19,547 --> 00:33:22,166
I thought we as a society
were past all that.
585
00:33:22,291 --> 00:33:24,767
That would be fine
if you were just complimenting me
586
00:33:24,892 --> 00:33:26,525
and not showing off your...
587
00:33:27,133 --> 00:33:28,920
impressive... physique.
588
00:33:29,045 --> 00:33:31,586
You know, you gave me
a flirty vibe, man, all right?
589
00:33:31,711 --> 00:33:34,345
And talking about my pecs
is just plain gay.
590
00:33:34,897 --> 00:33:35,897
OK, fine.
591
00:33:36,492 --> 00:33:39,472
I've been kinda down lately.
My girlfriend just dumped me, and...
592
00:33:40,311 --> 00:33:42,269
the attention you gave me
made me feel better.
593
00:33:43,184 --> 00:33:44,184
I knew it.
594
00:33:45,984 --> 00:33:46,984
Thank you.
595
00:33:47,345 --> 00:33:48,317
I'm sorry.
596
00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:52,029
I meant what I said about your pecs.
They're completely ripped.
597
00:33:53,403 --> 00:33:54,847
Damned metrosexuals.
598
00:34:06,465 --> 00:34:07,503
Son of a...
599
00:34:11,729 --> 00:34:15,733
You have denied your initial chance
to become one with us.
600
00:34:16,856 --> 00:34:18,284
But, as Plato said,
601
00:34:18,409 --> 00:34:22,413
there are always second chances
amongst true friends.
602
00:34:27,024 --> 00:34:30,024
- Plato never said that.
- I didn't have time to write a speech!
603
00:34:30,149 --> 00:34:31,485
Are you in or not?
604
00:34:33,721 --> 00:34:36,365
- Come on.
- Why would you want me back?
605
00:34:36,816 --> 00:34:40,820
Your fellow initiates convinced us
that you deserved another chance.
606
00:34:41,714 --> 00:34:42,714
I see.
607
00:34:43,301 --> 00:34:45,029
Would you just give us a second?
608
00:34:47,955 --> 00:34:50,837
- Why would you do a thing like that?
- Temporary hood-provoked insanity.
609
00:34:51,073 --> 00:34:52,073
Seriously.
610
00:34:52,649 --> 00:34:53,649
I mean,
611
00:34:53,900 --> 00:34:57,904
I was thinking, and way back when,
searching for this place was your idea.
612
00:34:58,227 --> 00:35:01,515
You wanted this first. And I knew
that you'd regret it if you gave it up.
613
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:07,813
We used to be pretty good friends.
614
00:35:08,795 --> 00:35:10,027
A long time ago.
615
00:35:11,414 --> 00:35:12,458
Long enough.
616
00:35:13,844 --> 00:35:16,841
So I've been thinking,
and I just wanted to say that
617
00:35:18,156 --> 00:35:20,576
- I'm sorry for the douche move.
- Which one?
618
00:35:20,985 --> 00:35:22,587
I knew you wanted her first.
619
00:35:22,712 --> 00:35:26,276
And I just ignored it
and I made my move anyway.
620
00:35:29,670 --> 00:35:30,796
Are you in or not?
621
00:35:31,031 --> 00:35:32,271
We need to know.
622
00:35:42,382 --> 00:35:43,140
I'm in.
623
00:35:48,987 --> 00:35:51,683
I forgot the name of the Egyptian guy,
so cheers.
624
00:35:56,340 --> 00:35:57,423
Close enough.
625
00:36:01,053 --> 00:36:03,410
I will now give you the rites
of passage.
626
00:36:04,216 --> 00:36:07,877
I must remind you
that all within this lair is sacred.
627
00:36:08,622 --> 00:36:12,626
When you travel outside its walls,
you must not draw attention
628
00:36:12,964 --> 00:36:13,962
to this society.
629
00:36:14,985 --> 00:36:18,326
Do not alter your normal routine
in any way.
630
00:36:19,936 --> 00:36:22,601
- We're getting close.
- I'm not getting any vibe.
631
00:36:22,890 --> 00:36:25,773
- My instincts are dead-on.
- Dale, let's not give up.
632
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:29,461
Think how cool it'll be to tell Cappie
where the Amphoras meet.
633
00:36:35,909 --> 00:36:37,694
Two Cappies on one campus.
Who knew?
634
00:36:39,452 --> 00:36:42,286
I'm tired.
Let's just go back to the apartment.
635
00:36:42,411 --> 00:36:44,076
I need you to cut my hair again.
636
00:36:51,355 --> 00:36:55,359
And now I will bestow on you
the secrets of the ancients.
637
00:36:59,337 --> 00:37:00,384
Dean Bowman?
638
00:37:01,785 --> 00:37:04,012
Old Man Smithers the caretaker!?
Zoinks!
639
00:37:06,250 --> 00:37:08,409
Welcome to the Amphora Society.
640
00:37:25,337 --> 00:37:26,958
I have to tell you something.
641
00:37:29,367 --> 00:37:30,956
Is it that you're not a lesbian?
642
00:37:31,596 --> 00:37:32,791
Was it that obvious?
643
00:37:33,585 --> 00:37:36,523
Let's just say you're not the first lug
I've encountered at CRU.
644
00:37:36,648 --> 00:37:38,755
Lug?
That doesn't sound flattering.
645
00:37:38,966 --> 00:37:42,926
Lesbian until graduation, or,
in your case, until the end of the week.
646
00:37:45,900 --> 00:37:46,930
Do you hate me?
647
00:37:47,141 --> 00:37:50,142
- Did I string you along?
- I knew what I was getting into.
648
00:37:50,473 --> 00:37:51,632
You were curious.
649
00:37:51,757 --> 00:37:52,771
We had fun.
650
00:37:53,474 --> 00:37:54,474
It's fine.
651
00:37:55,066 --> 00:37:57,107
I guess we're just better off as...
652
00:37:57,318 --> 00:37:58,328
Girlfriends.
653
00:37:58,453 --> 00:38:01,157
Just not that kind of girlfriends.
654
00:38:01,859 --> 00:38:04,489
For what it's worth, I really do wish
I were a lesbian right now.
655
00:38:05,993 --> 00:38:07,242
Or at least a bisexual.
656
00:38:08,275 --> 00:38:09,119
Me too.
657
00:38:14,210 --> 00:38:17,276
We must have dug
ten different holes in that orchard,
658
00:38:17,401 --> 00:38:19,335
and all we found
were a bunch of condoms
659
00:38:19,460 --> 00:38:20,962
and a pair of overalls.
660
00:38:21,087 --> 00:38:22,925
Dale's been wearing them ever since.
661
00:38:23,276 --> 00:38:24,921
The overalls, not the condoms.
662
00:38:25,205 --> 00:38:26,210
Thank God.
663
00:38:26,895 --> 00:38:30,800
I just wanted to say I'm sorry
for giving you a hard time
664
00:38:30,925 --> 00:38:32,959
and letting my baggage
come between us.
665
00:38:33,084 --> 00:38:35,028
It's OK.
I understand.
666
00:38:36,016 --> 00:38:40,020
I'm think this Amphora Society
doesn't even exist.
667
00:38:40,523 --> 00:38:42,575
I bet it's probably some frat prank
668
00:38:42,700 --> 00:38:45,214
to get people to try
and run around and find it.
669
00:38:45,949 --> 00:38:48,974
I bet you it's those Omega Chi
douchebags who set it up.
670
00:38:49,393 --> 00:38:50,393
Could be.
671
00:38:52,019 --> 00:38:54,392
Speaking of Omega Chi douchebags...
672
00:38:56,285 --> 00:38:58,502
I'm glad we cleared things up.
673
00:38:58,627 --> 00:39:01,690
I hated you thinking of me
the way you think of him.
674
00:39:15,855 --> 00:39:18,531
- You're really through.
- I polish every crevice.
675
00:39:20,818 --> 00:39:22,510
Manual labor suits you both.
676
00:39:23,221 --> 00:39:24,129
Don't mind me.
677
00:39:24,254 --> 00:39:27,171
I'm just coming back from
an I-Kap sisters bonding brunch.
678
00:39:27,455 --> 00:39:28,584
You had it wrong.
679
00:39:28,709 --> 00:39:31,827
The sisters and I had an amazing time
and the house couldn't be stronger.
680
00:39:31,996 --> 00:39:34,663
You'll have to try harder next time
you want to undermine me.
681
00:39:36,036 --> 00:39:38,067
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
682
00:39:44,668 --> 00:39:47,582
I still think you're crazy.
You could've stuck it to her.
683
00:39:47,707 --> 00:39:49,505
And then she'd have
to stick it to me back.
684
00:39:49,630 --> 00:39:52,839
And then I'd have to retaliate,
prompting her to seek vengeance
685
00:39:52,964 --> 00:39:53,849
and me to...
686
00:39:54,018 --> 00:39:56,685
- I'm exhausted just hearing about it!
- I'm tired of it too.
687
00:39:56,933 --> 00:39:58,705
And I'm not naive about Frannie.
688
00:39:59,193 --> 00:40:01,064
I didn't want those bitches
back in the house.
689
00:40:01,444 --> 00:40:03,379
One bitch is all I can handle.
690
00:40:05,417 --> 00:40:06,784
You got me all wet!
691
00:40:08,574 --> 00:40:10,379
I do reserve the right
to be a bitch.
692
00:40:10,504 --> 00:40:13,517
But I've officially retired
my lesbianism.
693
00:40:14,218 --> 00:40:16,920
Turns out I'm not gay.
I just had a crush on Robin.
694
00:40:17,499 --> 00:40:19,026
She came along when I was...
695
00:40:19,151 --> 00:40:20,817
searching for something.
696
00:40:20,942 --> 00:40:22,878
- Like what?
- Like me.
697
00:40:23,231 --> 00:40:26,242
Who am I now,
now that I'm not a senator's daughter?
698
00:40:29,775 --> 00:40:30,510
So...
699
00:40:31,294 --> 00:40:33,442
I'm not a lesbian anymore,
but it was worthwhile
700
00:40:33,567 --> 00:40:37,350
to see how ridiculous guys get
when girls are even remotely intimate.
701
00:40:37,879 --> 00:40:40,601
Straight guys think we do
everything for their benefit.
702
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:41,949
I know!
703
00:40:42,074 --> 00:40:44,915
When Ashleigh and I do
our girl-grind dance at parties,
704
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:47,110
we're always surrounded
by a slobbering horde.
705
00:40:47,321 --> 00:40:50,189
I mean, hello, straight horny dudes!
706
00:40:50,314 --> 00:40:52,516
We're not doing
the girl-grind dance for you.
707
00:40:52,641 --> 00:40:53,641
So...
708
00:40:56,443 --> 00:40:58,330
How about we give
these guys a thrill?
709
00:40:58,540 --> 00:41:00,515
Like do the girl-grind dance?
710
00:41:00,794 --> 00:41:02,465
No. Just one kiss.
711
00:41:04,079 --> 00:41:06,296
Oh, my God, Rebecca, you are crazy.
712
00:41:06,507 --> 00:41:07,877
What, are you scared?
713
00:41:08,002 --> 00:41:09,002
Please.
714
00:41:09,158 --> 00:41:11,922
I guess it would be pretty funny
to see what they would do.
715
00:41:11,972 --> 00:41:16,522
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