All language subtitles for Girlfriends Guide to Divorce s02e04 Rule No. 605Again.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,070 --> 00:00:01,576 Previously on "Girlfriend's Guide to Divorce... " 2 00:00:02,180 --> 00:00:04,034 In the spirit of radical honesty, 3 00:00:04,069 --> 00:00:06,036 I am dedicated to truth from here on in. 4 00:00:06,071 --> 00:00:08,071 Becca is pregnant. 5 00:00:08,719 --> 00:00:10,102 I try to fix everybody else's stuff 6 00:00:10,137 --> 00:00:11,887 cause I don't have the first clue to fix my own. 7 00:00:11,889 --> 00:00:12,888 These belong Zooey. 8 00:00:12,890 --> 00:00:14,223 She's gonna visit Frumpkis 9 00:00:14,225 --> 00:00:15,474 and the Wicked Witch of the South. 10 00:00:15,526 --> 00:00:17,893 I'm going to hate being with Dad and the fat head. 11 00:00:17,895 --> 00:00:19,144 How do you know Dr. Harris? 12 00:00:19,196 --> 00:00:21,063 He's like an Oprah doctor. 13 00:00:21,115 --> 00:00:23,065 Today, I find out 14 00:00:23,117 --> 00:00:24,950 that he knocked up his ex-girlfriend. 15 00:00:24,985 --> 00:00:26,318 Good, I'm glad he finally 16 00:00:26,370 --> 00:00:27,402 manned up and told you. 17 00:00:27,454 --> 00:00:28,820 How long have you known Becca was pregnant? 18 00:00:28,872 --> 00:00:29,821 About a month. 19 00:00:29,873 --> 00:00:31,206 That is a huge omission. 20 00:00:31,242 --> 00:00:32,874 Okay fine, it's my fault. 21 00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:35,730 It kind of is. 22 00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:43,143 _ 23 00:00:43,420 --> 00:00:46,171 [somber music] 24 00:00:46,223 --> 00:00:47,839 [exhales] 25 00:00:47,891 --> 00:00:55,891 26 00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,234 So... 27 00:01:09,764 --> 00:01:11,264 Right? 28 00:01:12,116 --> 00:01:13,365 Yeah. 29 00:01:14,065 --> 00:01:15,432 Right. 30 00:01:17,955 --> 00:01:19,421 [tape rewinding] 31 00:01:19,456 --> 00:01:20,872 Lilly, will you please go get your brother? 32 00:01:20,897 --> 00:01:21,873 You're late. 33 00:01:21,925 --> 00:01:23,008 - Charlie, we're late! - _ 34 00:01:23,043 --> 00:01:24,126 That's not what I asked you to do. 35 00:01:24,178 --> 00:01:26,011 Can you please go upstairs and get him? 36 00:01:27,131 --> 00:01:28,797 Hi, sweetie. 37 00:01:33,866 --> 00:01:35,082 Hi. 38 00:01:35,944 --> 00:01:37,160 Hello. 39 00:01:40,277 --> 00:01:41,643 I should've told you about Becca 40 00:01:41,645 --> 00:01:42,931 as soon as I knew. 41 00:01:43,517 --> 00:01:45,897 I am so sorry. 42 00:01:46,767 --> 00:01:47,983 It's just old Jake. 43 00:01:48,463 --> 00:01:49,746 Bad Jake. 44 00:01:49,748 --> 00:01:51,119 Not bad. 45 00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:52,549 No bad. 46 00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,418 A little bit. 47 00:01:55,420 --> 00:01:57,386 I just, um... 48 00:01:57,422 --> 00:01:59,255 Look, I said some horrible things too 49 00:01:59,307 --> 00:02:02,008 and, ah... I was upset, I could be very cutting. 50 00:02:02,060 --> 00:02:03,760 No, no, I'm apologizing. 51 00:02:03,812 --> 00:02:04,603 I am sorry. 52 00:02:04,628 --> 00:02:05,533 I was wrong. 53 00:02:06,347 --> 00:02:07,980 And you accepted my apology 54 00:02:08,016 --> 00:02:08,981 and let's not... 55 00:02:09,017 --> 00:02:10,399 Spend an hour revisiting 56 00:02:10,435 --> 00:02:11,934 all the awful things we said to each other. 57 00:02:11,936 --> 00:02:14,589 Yeah, that. Let's not do that one. 58 00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:18,963 - We could make out instead. - That I like. 59 00:02:18,988 --> 00:02:20,564 Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama! 60 00:02:20,588 --> 00:02:23,021 Wow! Oh, my God, Charlie, slow down! 61 00:02:23,054 --> 00:02:24,570 My butt is so itchy. 62 00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:25,654 Hi, Dad! 63 00:02:25,706 --> 00:02:26,789 Hi, itchy butt. 64 00:02:26,824 --> 00:02:28,707 Go to the car please, I'll be right out. 65 00:02:28,743 --> 00:02:30,292 What about my butt? 66 00:02:30,328 --> 00:02:31,244 We'll get to it. 67 00:02:31,269 --> 00:02:33,996 - Hurry! - Nobody cares about your butt. 68 00:02:33,998 --> 00:02:35,664 Um, hey, I was thinking, 69 00:02:35,716 --> 00:02:37,166 before Latvia, 70 00:02:37,168 --> 00:02:39,001 maybe we should go up to that place in Ojai 71 00:02:39,053 --> 00:02:40,135 for a weekend. 72 00:02:40,171 --> 00:02:41,420 We can't fix this in a weekend. 73 00:02:41,472 --> 00:02:42,588 No, of course we can't, 74 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,673 but look, I'm going to Latvia for four months. 75 00:02:44,675 --> 00:02:47,059 You're gonna be going on glam dates 76 00:02:47,094 --> 00:02:48,477 and writing a book about divorce. 77 00:02:48,513 --> 00:02:50,012 The clock is ticking here, Abby. 78 00:02:50,014 --> 00:02:51,263 Even if I wanted to 79 00:02:51,315 --> 00:02:52,982 I have to work and you're prepping. 80 00:02:53,017 --> 00:02:54,400 Always gonna be something though, no! 81 00:02:54,435 --> 00:02:56,424 - Okay, hey! - I want to go away with you. 82 00:02:57,334 --> 00:03:00,109 How about we hole up at home? 83 00:03:00,134 --> 00:03:01,584 No kids. All weekend. 84 00:03:01,609 --> 00:03:02,575 Oh. 85 00:03:02,610 --> 00:03:04,193 Why does that seem naughty to me? 86 00:03:04,245 --> 00:03:06,111 Because how many hours do you think 87 00:03:06,163 --> 00:03:07,696 we get to spend in this house without kids. 88 00:03:07,698 --> 00:03:09,665 I think zero, zero hours. 89 00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:10,950 - None hours. - None hours. 90 00:03:11,002 --> 00:03:12,334 Great! 91 00:03:12,370 --> 00:03:13,786 And then we could, you know... 92 00:03:13,838 --> 00:03:15,621 - What? Oh. - On the couch, in the pool, 93 00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:16,622 in the garage and... 94 00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:18,958 - Garage? Are you into that? - Not that we... I... 95 00:03:19,010 --> 00:03:20,426 Not the garage, I'm just riffing on that idea. 96 00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:21,427 You know what we do? 97 00:03:21,462 --> 00:03:22,545 We send the kids with Ford 98 00:03:22,597 --> 00:03:23,796 and Lilly can help him get the cousins. 99 00:03:23,848 --> 00:03:24,880 - And no phones... - Yeah. 100 00:03:24,932 --> 00:03:26,181 Cause if something goes on with the kids, 101 00:03:26,217 --> 00:03:27,216 Ford can use the landline. 102 00:03:27,218 --> 00:03:28,934 It's old school, it's analog. 103 00:03:28,970 --> 00:03:29,935 I like it. 104 00:03:29,971 --> 00:03:30,936 Analog! 105 00:03:30,972 --> 00:03:32,187 Good. 106 00:03:32,223 --> 00:03:34,023 Oh, got to take the kids. 107 00:03:34,058 --> 00:03:35,024 Quickie in the garage? 108 00:03:35,059 --> 00:03:36,025 - No. - Kidding. 109 00:03:36,060 --> 00:03:37,026 - [laughs] - Okay. 110 00:03:37,061 --> 00:03:38,027 - Okay. - Tonight? 111 00:03:38,062 --> 00:03:39,028 Tonight! 112 00:03:39,063 --> 00:03:40,062 I'm so excited. 113 00:03:40,064 --> 00:03:41,730 Can't wait, I love you. 114 00:03:41,782 --> 00:03:43,732 [whispers] I love you. 115 00:03:43,784 --> 00:03:46,735 [upbeat music] 116 00:03:46,787 --> 00:03:50,478 -- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -- -- www.addic7ed.com -- 117 00:03:51,325 --> 00:03:52,291 Oh no, no, no, this is cute. 118 00:03:52,326 --> 00:03:53,375 Right? 119 00:03:53,411 --> 00:03:55,961 This is really, really cute here. 120 00:03:55,997 --> 00:03:57,246 Oh, my gosh, hi! 121 00:03:57,248 --> 00:03:58,914 Hello. 122 00:04:00,330 --> 00:04:03,782 Marria, this is Delia, my former divorce attorney and current good friend. 123 00:04:03,834 --> 00:04:05,200 - Hello, nice to meet you. - Hello. 124 00:04:05,252 --> 00:04:08,286 This is Marria, we were models and were roommates in Milan. 125 00:04:08,288 --> 00:04:09,704 I thought I recognized your face. 126 00:04:09,756 --> 00:04:10,789 Beauty. 127 00:04:10,791 --> 00:04:11,873 I know, she actually kept working 128 00:04:11,925 --> 00:04:12,874 and got really good gigs. 129 00:04:12,926 --> 00:04:13,875 For a minute. 130 00:04:13,927 --> 00:04:14,959 Now, I'm lucky if I book 131 00:04:14,961 --> 00:04:16,427 the mom in a J. Crew catalog 132 00:04:16,463 --> 00:04:17,512 because I'm like, 133 00:04:17,547 --> 00:04:18,513 [whispers] 33. 134 00:04:18,548 --> 00:04:19,514 Shh. 135 00:04:19,549 --> 00:04:20,632 [all laughs] 136 00:04:20,634 --> 00:04:22,300 But that's why the Blue Robin campaign 137 00:04:22,302 --> 00:04:23,768 is so empowering. 138 00:04:23,804 --> 00:04:25,186 You have to do this with me, Phoebe. 139 00:04:25,222 --> 00:04:26,604 I got a call today, 140 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,139 along with the beauty here, 141 00:04:28,141 --> 00:04:29,808 to maybe be in this year's 142 00:04:29,860 --> 00:04:32,143 all-natural gal campaign. 143 00:04:32,195 --> 00:04:34,729 The all-natural woman at any age ads? 144 00:04:34,781 --> 00:04:35,730 That's enormous! 145 00:04:35,782 --> 00:04:36,731 Right? 146 00:04:36,783 --> 00:04:38,483 So powerful, it's positive, 147 00:04:38,535 --> 00:04:40,535 raw, real, minimal makeup, no Photoshop. 148 00:04:40,570 --> 00:04:41,536 Terrifying. 149 00:04:41,571 --> 00:04:42,987 Come on, you look amazing. 150 00:04:42,989 --> 00:04:44,205 I don't know. 151 00:04:44,241 --> 00:04:46,074 My modeling years were not the best memories. 152 00:04:46,126 --> 00:04:47,542 And these are test shots, right? 153 00:04:47,577 --> 00:04:49,711 So only one of us actually gets the job. 154 00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:51,220 Come on, it'll be fun. 155 00:04:52,833 --> 00:04:54,249 I'm with Marria, give it a shot. 156 00:04:54,301 --> 00:04:56,417 Anyway I got to run, I'm going house hunting with Gordon 157 00:04:56,469 --> 00:04:57,418 Oh, that's fun. 158 00:04:57,470 --> 00:04:58,636 Enough of this wedding B.S. 159 00:04:58,672 --> 00:04:59,838 Let's just, get on the real life, right? 160 00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:00,603 Do it. 161 00:05:00,628 --> 00:05:01,628 We on for dinner? 162 00:05:01,653 --> 00:05:04,392 Oh yeah, you bet your fine ass we are. 163 00:05:04,427 --> 00:05:05,393 - See you later. - Nice to meet you. 164 00:05:05,428 --> 00:05:06,928 Nice to meet you too. 165 00:05:06,980 --> 00:05:08,513 So is the food good at least? 166 00:05:08,565 --> 00:05:11,349 Deep-fried NASCAR pickles or whatever. 167 00:05:11,351 --> 00:05:12,901 I can't wait to come home tomorrow. 168 00:05:12,936 --> 00:05:14,769 Charlene is the worst. 169 00:05:14,821 --> 00:05:16,187 I hate her. 170 00:05:16,189 --> 00:05:18,273 Oh, honey, I'm so sorry to hear that. 171 00:05:18,325 --> 00:05:19,574 How's the paradise place? 172 00:05:19,609 --> 00:05:20,942 It's great! 173 00:05:20,994 --> 00:05:22,410 It's like we work for IBM in the '80s. 174 00:05:22,445 --> 00:05:24,412 - Ew. - Kidding. 175 00:05:24,447 --> 00:05:25,447 It's fun. 176 00:05:25,498 --> 00:05:26,781 Ping-pong and a swimming pool, 177 00:05:26,833 --> 00:05:30,001 and Uncle Jake lives in one of the lesser areas. 178 00:05:30,036 --> 00:05:31,920 It's like the Paradiso ghetto. 179 00:05:31,955 --> 00:05:33,371 I thought you hate Uncle Jake. 180 00:05:33,396 --> 00:05:35,396 No it's good to keep your enemies where you can see them, 181 00:05:35,421 --> 00:05:36,804 my little southern belle. 182 00:05:36,877 --> 00:05:39,177 Well, I can see mine perfectly. 183 00:05:39,212 --> 00:05:40,212 Ugh. 184 00:05:41,493 --> 00:05:43,025 Hang in there, okay? 185 00:05:43,050 --> 00:05:44,516 You're almost home. 186 00:05:46,759 --> 00:05:47,845 I love you. 187 00:05:50,557 --> 00:05:53,392 [upbeat music] 188 00:05:53,417 --> 00:05:54,583 And here's your perfect kitchen. 189 00:05:54,728 --> 00:05:56,394 Don't look at me, sweetie. 190 00:05:56,396 --> 00:05:57,812 It's perfect for my chef. 191 00:05:57,837 --> 00:05:59,871 Oh yes. of course. 192 00:06:02,731 --> 00:06:04,781 Nice, nice home office for you. 193 00:06:04,806 --> 00:06:05,772 Do we like? 194 00:06:05,797 --> 00:06:07,764 We love. 195 00:06:08,964 --> 00:06:11,598 Now, this is the 19th century configuration 196 00:06:11,828 --> 00:06:13,161 of bedroom for each. 197 00:06:13,213 --> 00:06:14,220 Each what? 198 00:06:14,245 --> 00:06:15,220 Person. 199 00:06:15,889 --> 00:06:17,055 Oh. 200 00:06:17,217 --> 00:06:19,250 Huh, I didn't know that was a thing. 201 00:06:19,252 --> 00:06:20,314 Oh, yes. 202 00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:21,400 It's become popular. The... 203 00:06:21,425 --> 00:06:22,744 "Downton Abbey" style. 204 00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:25,426 But a lot of folks prefer the single. 205 00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:26,950 No, I... I kind of love it. 206 00:06:26,975 --> 00:06:27,974 I love the idea. 207 00:06:27,999 --> 00:06:29,197 It's very regal. 208 00:06:30,514 --> 00:06:34,216 You love separate bedrooms, really? 209 00:06:34,241 --> 00:06:35,824 Insomniac. 210 00:06:36,019 --> 00:06:38,019 Teeth grinder, duvet hogger. 211 00:06:38,044 --> 00:06:40,544 Oh, what about warts and all? 212 00:06:40,569 --> 00:06:41,900 I don't know, I just... 213 00:06:42,531 --> 00:06:43,931 it seems kind of romantic. 214 00:06:44,916 --> 00:06:48,585 Or the opposite of romantic? 215 00:06:48,832 --> 00:06:50,448 It's nice to have the option, right? 216 00:06:50,473 --> 00:06:52,423 I think the bidets are African ivory. 217 00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:54,619 Maybe before poaching was illegal of course. 218 00:06:54,644 --> 00:06:56,427 Too late now! Come see. 219 00:06:56,506 --> 00:06:59,457 [upbeat music] 220 00:06:59,509 --> 00:07:01,338 221 00:07:01,363 --> 00:07:02,713 Abby? 222 00:07:05,835 --> 00:07:07,001 Abs! 223 00:07:08,498 --> 00:07:10,248 Colder. 224 00:07:10,384 --> 00:07:11,717 Warmer. 225 00:07:12,394 --> 00:07:13,760 Warmer. 226 00:07:15,330 --> 00:07:17,080 Holy shit. 227 00:07:17,777 --> 00:07:19,060 Last one naked gets to do 228 00:07:19,112 --> 00:07:20,111 whatever the other one wants. 229 00:07:20,146 --> 00:07:21,229 That's a win-win. 230 00:07:21,281 --> 00:07:22,447 I know. 231 00:07:22,482 --> 00:07:25,450 [upbeat music] 232 00:07:25,475 --> 00:07:28,939 233 00:07:29,555 --> 00:07:31,555 That's the loudest sex we've ever had. 234 00:07:31,580 --> 00:07:32,529 Definitely. 235 00:07:32,581 --> 00:07:33,581 [giggles] 236 00:07:34,776 --> 00:07:35,724 Radical honesty. 237 00:07:35,777 --> 00:07:36,725 Oh, no. 238 00:07:36,778 --> 00:07:37,760 What? 239 00:07:37,795 --> 00:07:39,228 I would like my husband slash 240 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:40,813 ex-husband to make me a drink. 241 00:07:40,865 --> 00:07:42,731 [chuckles] Oh, yeah? 242 00:07:42,733 --> 00:07:43,732 Yeah. 243 00:07:43,734 --> 00:07:45,067 Honesty. 244 00:07:45,069 --> 00:07:46,569 - That's right. - Love it! 245 00:07:46,571 --> 00:07:47,653 You know seriously, 246 00:07:47,705 --> 00:07:49,705 I love the conversation we had this morning. 247 00:07:49,740 --> 00:07:50,906 Yeah, me too. 248 00:07:50,908 --> 00:07:54,410 We apologized, we moved on, and... 249 00:07:54,462 --> 00:07:55,911 We didn't rehash every argument we've had 250 00:07:55,913 --> 00:07:56,912 for the last 20 years. 251 00:07:56,914 --> 00:07:57,913 Exactly. 252 00:07:57,915 --> 00:07:59,215 Radical honesty, 253 00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:00,583 and then we let it go. 254 00:08:00,635 --> 00:08:02,218 Let it go. 255 00:08:02,253 --> 00:08:03,586 No! 256 00:08:04,463 --> 00:08:05,962 Don't sing that song. 257 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,166 Fine. 258 00:08:08,191 --> 00:08:09,407 You get my point? 259 00:08:09,432 --> 00:08:10,642 I do. 260 00:08:11,454 --> 00:08:13,002 Oh, what's in this? 261 00:08:13,027 --> 00:08:13,976 Good stuff. 262 00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:15,181 Radical honesty. 263 00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:16,150 Cheers. 264 00:08:17,077 --> 00:08:18,627 So were you in love with Nate? 265 00:08:21,155 --> 00:08:22,104 What? 266 00:08:22,129 --> 00:08:23,462 Okay, I'm letting it go. 267 00:08:23,487 --> 00:08:24,903 Most of it. 268 00:08:24,992 --> 00:08:26,442 But, you know, you told me about the Will thing, 269 00:08:26,494 --> 00:08:28,777 and that somehow got me back to Nate 270 00:08:29,559 --> 00:08:31,290 and were you in love with Nate. 271 00:08:32,514 --> 00:08:34,013 Okay. 272 00:08:34,038 --> 00:08:35,871 No, I was not in love with Nate. 273 00:08:35,896 --> 00:08:37,479 It was not about that. 274 00:08:37,655 --> 00:08:39,288 I think I just needed someone 275 00:08:39,313 --> 00:08:40,806 to tell me I'm beautiful 276 00:08:40,831 --> 00:08:43,332 and funny, smart. 277 00:08:43,628 --> 00:08:45,752 I needed somebody to give me cookies. 278 00:08:45,919 --> 00:08:47,218 Some ego cookies. 279 00:08:47,759 --> 00:08:49,465 I wasn't giving out many of those. 280 00:08:49,517 --> 00:08:50,549 I'm sorry. 281 00:08:50,601 --> 00:08:51,634 Yeah, well, 282 00:08:51,636 --> 00:08:53,052 I do demand a lot of cookies. 283 00:08:53,104 --> 00:08:54,303 Indeed you do. 284 00:08:54,328 --> 00:08:56,495 Y'know I was little, I cookie-starved myself... 285 00:08:56,557 --> 00:08:58,307 Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. 286 00:08:58,309 --> 00:09:00,476 - Mmm. - I just think as time goes by 287 00:09:00,478 --> 00:09:02,645 eventually it's like you can't see each other. 288 00:09:02,697 --> 00:09:03,729 Not the way other people do. 289 00:09:03,781 --> 00:09:04,892 Mm-hmm. 290 00:09:07,618 --> 00:09:08,900 Well, I see you now. 291 00:09:08,925 --> 00:09:09,958 What? 292 00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,349 [laughs] 293 00:09:11,706 --> 00:09:13,739 Yeah in fact, I would like... 294 00:09:13,791 --> 00:09:15,824 - Oh! [laughs] - To see you lay all over... 295 00:09:15,826 --> 00:09:17,209 Oh, my God! 296 00:09:17,245 --> 00:09:18,994 Our dining room table. 297 00:09:18,996 --> 00:09:20,212 Whoa! 298 00:09:20,580 --> 00:09:22,798 [moaning] 299 00:09:22,833 --> 00:09:24,800 We're gonna about 30 seconds 300 00:09:24,835 --> 00:09:25,968 before you get all Hazmat-y 301 00:09:26,003 --> 00:09:27,169 and have to clean this table up. 302 00:09:27,171 --> 00:09:28,504 You have always underestimated 303 00:09:28,506 --> 00:09:29,889 my tolerance for disorder. 304 00:09:29,924 --> 00:09:31,173 Oh, I have? 305 00:09:31,198 --> 00:09:32,314 Yeah. 306 00:09:33,886 --> 00:09:35,052 So like 307 00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,455 if I... 308 00:09:39,967 --> 00:09:41,550 If I just 309 00:09:41,954 --> 00:09:43,320 dropped this egg on the floor, 310 00:09:43,345 --> 00:09:44,794 that'd be cool, you wouldn't have to clean it up 311 00:09:44,819 --> 00:09:45,818 right away? 312 00:09:45,856 --> 00:09:47,494 It would be wasteful, but... 313 00:09:47,519 --> 00:09:49,185 I wouldn't... 314 00:09:50,118 --> 00:09:52,505 And one, two... 315 00:09:52,530 --> 00:09:53,696 You are so gonna get it. 316 00:09:53,698 --> 00:09:54,697 - Three. - First of all, 317 00:09:54,699 --> 00:09:55,948 you left the refrigerator door open. 318 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:56,949 Here we go, four. 319 00:09:57,001 --> 00:09:58,834 That is a wild waste of energy. 320 00:09:58,869 --> 00:10:00,369 Six, seven... 321 00:10:02,988 --> 00:10:05,606 Bam! [laughs] 322 00:10:05,631 --> 00:10:07,347 Not cleaning that up, baby. 323 00:10:07,461 --> 00:10:10,713 You are so dead. 324 00:10:10,765 --> 00:10:12,798 But it's true 325 00:10:12,850 --> 00:10:14,850 It works like magic 326 00:10:16,548 --> 00:10:18,831 It works like magic 327 00:10:18,856 --> 00:10:24,252 Only got one life, got one life to live, live, live 328 00:10:26,230 --> 00:10:33,235 Whatever you want just tell me I'll do it. 329 00:10:34,905 --> 00:10:38,657 It works like magic 330 00:10:38,709 --> 00:10:42,244 It works like magic 331 00:10:42,246 --> 00:10:46,048 It works like magic 332 00:10:46,083 --> 00:10:49,084 It works like magic 333 00:10:52,171 --> 00:10:53,757 [inhales deeply] 334 00:10:54,416 --> 00:10:56,416 [muttering] 335 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:02,866 Oh, my God. 336 00:11:05,190 --> 00:11:06,323 When he seemed 337 00:11:06,348 --> 00:11:08,682 positively delighted 338 00:11:08,773 --> 00:11:10,366 at the thought of separate bedrooms. 339 00:11:10,391 --> 00:11:11,690 You said he had sleep problems. 340 00:11:11,715 --> 00:11:12,681 Mm-mm. 341 00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,540 He never had a problem with it before. 342 00:11:14,779 --> 00:11:16,245 What if he's that doubting the whole things? 343 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,497 No, did he demand separate bedrooms? 344 00:11:18,532 --> 00:11:19,615 Was he trying to start a fight? 345 00:11:19,617 --> 00:11:21,166 No, he said like it's nice to have 346 00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:22,202 the option or something. 347 00:11:22,253 --> 00:11:23,369 That's not cold feet, 348 00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:25,621 and I kind of get his point. 349 00:11:25,673 --> 00:11:26,673 What? 350 00:11:26,707 --> 00:11:28,424 Binge Netflix, fart with abandon, 351 00:11:28,459 --> 00:11:29,425 get your alone time. 352 00:11:29,450 --> 00:11:31,749 It really took me by surprise. 353 00:11:32,084 --> 00:11:33,918 No, I'm good. 354 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:36,026 I have a photo shoot tomorrow. 355 00:11:36,183 --> 00:11:38,133 - You're kidding. - No. 356 00:11:38,185 --> 00:11:40,386 Oh, my... I could've sworn 357 00:11:40,438 --> 00:11:42,638 that you were letting Marria down gently. 358 00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:44,640 This is probably going to be the last chance 359 00:11:44,642 --> 00:11:45,974 I get to do this again. 360 00:11:46,027 --> 00:11:47,390 And you know after Marco, 361 00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:50,824 I'm kind of grateful to do something 362 00:11:50,849 --> 00:11:54,640 that might send some good energy into to the universe. 363 00:11:54,706 --> 00:11:58,515 Mm, here's to sending some good energy. 364 00:11:59,216 --> 00:12:00,765 Good energy. 365 00:12:02,877 --> 00:12:04,877 [sports announcer shouting on TV] 366 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,834 [crowd cheering] 367 00:12:10,026 --> 00:12:11,514 Mmm. 368 00:12:14,348 --> 00:12:15,348 Mm-hmm. 369 00:12:15,373 --> 00:12:17,218 Good morning Mrs. Clean. 370 00:12:17,957 --> 00:12:18,905 Mm-hmm. 371 00:12:18,930 --> 00:12:20,713 Good morning. 372 00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:22,907 Really, the sports already? 373 00:12:22,932 --> 00:12:25,817 Really with the scrubbing already? 374 00:12:25,933 --> 00:12:27,015 [laughs] 375 00:12:29,019 --> 00:12:30,352 I really don't want to watch. 376 00:12:30,354 --> 00:12:31,353 Oh, come on. 377 00:12:31,355 --> 00:12:33,322 Come watch it with me. 378 00:12:33,357 --> 00:12:35,240 You've never given it the time of day. 379 00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:38,360 You know that Phil Jackson used to have his players 380 00:12:38,362 --> 00:12:39,361 practice without the ball. 381 00:12:39,363 --> 00:12:40,529 Oh, my God. 382 00:12:40,531 --> 00:12:41,997 No, no, cause it's about five people... 383 00:12:42,032 --> 00:12:44,249 - You sound like... - Thinking with one mind. 384 00:12:44,285 --> 00:12:46,618 A pretentious guy, who's about 385 00:12:46,670 --> 00:12:49,338 to direct a film with Joseph Gordon Levitt. 386 00:12:49,373 --> 00:12:50,373 Oh, wait! 387 00:12:50,424 --> 00:12:52,624 Oh, come on. 388 00:12:52,676 --> 00:12:54,676 I'm serious. 389 00:12:54,712 --> 00:12:56,762 It's... you danced in college. 390 00:12:56,797 --> 00:12:57,880 Yeah. It's... come here. 391 00:12:57,882 --> 00:12:58,881 I'll show you. 392 00:12:58,883 --> 00:13:00,215 No, I am hungover 393 00:13:00,267 --> 00:13:01,383 and I need food and water. 394 00:13:01,385 --> 00:13:02,768 Uh-huh, you need this. 395 00:13:02,803 --> 00:13:04,887 This is the ball, right? 396 00:13:04,889 --> 00:13:06,555 You can't let me get it, right? 397 00:13:06,557 --> 00:13:07,556 Cause here I can get it, 398 00:13:07,558 --> 00:13:09,191 but here I can't get it. 399 00:13:09,226 --> 00:13:10,309 You got to use your butt. 400 00:13:10,361 --> 00:13:12,144 - My butt? - Yeah you got to like dance. 401 00:13:12,196 --> 00:13:13,145 I will be away from... no. 402 00:13:13,197 --> 00:13:14,196 Keep it... let's see look, I get it. 403 00:13:14,231 --> 00:13:15,814 Oh, God! 404 00:13:15,839 --> 00:13:17,622 Ow! 405 00:13:17,647 --> 00:13:19,347 That didn't hurt. 406 00:13:20,404 --> 00:13:22,070 Now there's pretzels everywhere. 407 00:13:22,072 --> 00:13:24,490 I know that OCD carb nightmare! 408 00:13:24,542 --> 00:13:25,824 God, grow up! 409 00:13:25,876 --> 00:13:27,409 Oh, grow down! 410 00:13:28,913 --> 00:13:29,995 Grow down, Abby. 411 00:13:30,047 --> 00:13:31,046 I don't want to be tickled. 412 00:13:31,081 --> 00:13:32,047 Grow down, grow down, grow down. 413 00:13:32,082 --> 00:13:33,048 No really, stop. 414 00:13:33,083 --> 00:13:34,049 I don't want to be tickled. 415 00:13:34,084 --> 00:13:35,050 Stop! 416 00:13:35,085 --> 00:13:36,802 Oh, God! Jesus. 417 00:13:37,755 --> 00:13:38,755 You hit me in the face. 418 00:13:38,806 --> 00:13:39,838 I'm sorry. 419 00:13:39,890 --> 00:13:41,890 Can you just like relax for a minute. 420 00:13:41,926 --> 00:13:43,425 You're provoking me. 421 00:13:43,427 --> 00:13:44,426 I'm not provoking you. 422 00:13:44,428 --> 00:13:45,594 You clean the entire house 423 00:13:45,596 --> 00:13:47,429 when we talked about not cleaning the house. 424 00:13:50,468 --> 00:13:52,418 No, mm-mmm. 425 00:13:55,078 --> 00:13:56,027 No. 426 00:13:57,155 --> 00:13:59,162 No? And what is it Jake and Abby's 427 00:13:59,187 --> 00:14:00,943 greatest hits argument number seven? 428 00:14:00,945 --> 00:14:01,945 The cleaning argument? 429 00:14:01,996 --> 00:14:03,695 I don't want to have it, do you? 430 00:14:03,747 --> 00:14:05,030 Skip it, right? 431 00:14:05,082 --> 00:14:05,968 Let it go. 432 00:14:05,993 --> 00:14:08,160 I'm just... I'm gonna let it go. 433 00:14:11,026 --> 00:14:13,660 I think we're either gonna save our marriage 434 00:14:13,712 --> 00:14:16,262 or we're gonna end up in a mental institution together. 435 00:14:16,287 --> 00:14:17,920 Same difference. 436 00:14:17,945 --> 00:14:20,429 [rock music] 437 00:14:23,234 --> 00:14:24,607 Good morning. 438 00:14:24,632 --> 00:14:25,581 - Hi. - Hi. 439 00:14:25,606 --> 00:14:26,638 Gordon texted. 440 00:14:26,781 --> 00:14:28,448 He's just running a bit late. 441 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:29,449 No problem. 442 00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:30,616 It's probably brunch traffic. 443 00:14:30,618 --> 00:14:31,617 Is that a thing? 444 00:14:31,619 --> 00:14:32,618 I don't know. 445 00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:33,953 Anyways, no real time crunch here 446 00:14:33,955 --> 00:14:35,037 since we're only seeing the two houses. 447 00:14:35,090 --> 00:14:36,122 Oh, two. 448 00:14:36,124 --> 00:14:37,323 I thought that we were seeing four. 449 00:14:37,358 --> 00:14:39,008 Well, the ones on Roscomare and Samara 450 00:14:39,043 --> 00:14:40,126 have single master bedrooms 451 00:14:40,128 --> 00:14:41,711 and Mr. Beech's email said 452 00:14:41,763 --> 00:14:45,181 just the two master bedroom configurations from now on. 453 00:14:45,216 --> 00:14:48,634 Oh right, no, I thought the others... I think they're singles. 454 00:14:48,636 --> 00:14:50,019 And here's Mr. Beech! 455 00:14:50,054 --> 00:14:51,521 I think I have the door code. 456 00:14:51,556 --> 00:14:53,106 Mm-hmm. 457 00:14:58,696 --> 00:15:00,947 You and Courtney have, uh, separate bedrooms? 458 00:15:00,982 --> 00:15:02,732 Uh, good morning to you too. 459 00:15:02,784 --> 00:15:04,400 We can take separate vacations. 460 00:15:04,452 --> 00:15:05,735 Come on. 461 00:15:05,787 --> 00:15:07,036 I just think the option is intriguing... 462 00:15:07,071 --> 00:15:09,372 The option to not sleep beside me. 463 00:15:09,397 --> 00:15:12,815 Okay, Chateau Du Beech et Banai awaits! 464 00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:15,161 Delia, love of my life, 465 00:15:15,213 --> 00:15:16,829 we are just exploring this thing. 466 00:15:16,881 --> 00:15:18,080 Exploring? 467 00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:19,882 You told Cyan. 468 00:15:19,918 --> 00:15:21,134 - Shawn. - Whatever his name is. 469 00:15:21,169 --> 00:15:22,835 The only one to see places with two masters, 470 00:15:22,887 --> 00:15:24,387 that's not exploring. 471 00:15:24,422 --> 00:15:25,588 That's deciding 472 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,070 for both of us. 473 00:15:27,892 --> 00:15:29,976 Cyan, there better be two of everything. 474 00:15:30,011 --> 00:15:32,178 Two offices, two kitchens. 475 00:15:32,180 --> 00:15:33,327 So I take her through the whole thing, 476 00:15:33,352 --> 00:15:36,687 and afterwards Lilly thinks about it for a second, 477 00:15:37,036 --> 00:15:41,155 and then she says, "Mom, I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna 478 00:15:41,189 --> 00:15:43,573 "have sex until college, but when I do, 479 00:15:43,608 --> 00:15:45,992 "I promise I will call you as soon as it's over." 480 00:15:46,027 --> 00:15:46,993 Aww. 481 00:15:47,028 --> 00:15:47,994 Our little girl. 482 00:15:48,029 --> 00:15:48,995 I know. 483 00:15:49,030 --> 00:15:50,196 And Charlie... 484 00:15:50,198 --> 00:15:51,914 Oh, Charlie's gonna lose his virginity at 13. 485 00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:52,687 [laughs] 486 00:15:52,712 --> 00:15:53,795 Or 30. 487 00:15:54,202 --> 00:15:55,868 I can kinda see it going either way for him. 488 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:57,954 Agreed, I totally get that. 489 00:15:58,006 --> 00:16:00,423 Ah, so radical honesty... 490 00:16:00,458 --> 00:16:01,458 Go for it. 491 00:16:01,483 --> 00:16:04,184 When I think about the CW, baby. 492 00:16:05,597 --> 00:16:06,879 I just feel ripped off. 493 00:16:06,881 --> 00:16:09,348 I feel like we did the baby thing already. 494 00:16:09,384 --> 00:16:11,217 It was hard, I don't want to do it again. 495 00:16:11,269 --> 00:16:12,218 Yeah. 496 00:16:12,243 --> 00:16:13,993 Well radical honesty... 497 00:16:14,996 --> 00:16:16,898 You probably should've come on her tits. 498 00:16:18,309 --> 00:16:19,275 Right? 499 00:16:19,310 --> 00:16:20,560 Right. 500 00:16:20,612 --> 00:16:22,528 Like the CW baby is happening 501 00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:23,613 and we can bitch about it 502 00:16:23,648 --> 00:16:24,697 or we can embrace it. 503 00:16:24,732 --> 00:16:25,698 But if we're at our best, 504 00:16:25,733 --> 00:16:27,783 we can handle it. 505 00:16:27,819 --> 00:16:29,902 I mean, we can thrive even. 506 00:16:32,916 --> 00:16:34,115 Amazing. 507 00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:35,139 Thank you. 508 00:16:35,243 --> 00:16:36,609 [doorbell rings] 509 00:16:37,112 --> 00:16:39,112 [giggles] 510 00:16:39,137 --> 00:16:42,105 Oh, my baby! 511 00:16:42,130 --> 00:16:44,130 I missed you! 512 00:16:44,155 --> 00:16:45,454 Oh, I missed you too, 513 00:16:45,479 --> 00:16:46,444 but I can't breathe. 514 00:16:46,469 --> 00:16:47,634 Mmm. 515 00:16:47,659 --> 00:16:50,890 The latest delectable creations from Scott. 516 00:16:51,188 --> 00:16:53,188 Game changers. 517 00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:55,430 Not vegan. 518 00:16:55,455 --> 00:16:56,955 Oh, exciting. 519 00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:58,012 - Mm-hmm. - Thank you. 520 00:16:58,037 --> 00:16:59,653 Okay now, dish it. 521 00:16:59,678 --> 00:17:01,095 How bad is it? 522 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,921 Honestly, I don't think I have the language skills. 523 00:17:03,946 --> 00:17:06,413 I don't think James Joyce had the language skills. 524 00:17:06,438 --> 00:17:07,737 Really? 525 00:17:07,942 --> 00:17:09,942 Mom, while I'm fully aware 526 00:17:09,944 --> 00:17:11,327 of the self-sabotaging nature 527 00:17:11,362 --> 00:17:12,662 of woman on woman ridicule. 528 00:17:12,697 --> 00:17:14,497 - Mm-hmm. - I must say this, 529 00:17:14,532 --> 00:17:16,532 she is a monster. 530 00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:19,085 I caught the monster part go on. 531 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:20,786 She's dumb, she's mean, she's ignorant... 532 00:17:20,788 --> 00:17:21,921 Oh, whoa, whoa, mean how? 533 00:17:21,956 --> 00:17:22,922 Mean to you? 534 00:17:22,957 --> 00:17:23,957 Do I need to cut a bitch? 535 00:17:24,008 --> 00:17:26,259 The bitch was metaphorically cut. 536 00:17:26,284 --> 00:17:28,451 She even retreated to her parlor. 537 00:17:30,511 --> 00:17:32,261 I'm so proud of you. 538 00:17:32,410 --> 00:17:34,661 Please don't get into it with Dad on this, okay? 539 00:17:34,686 --> 00:17:36,552 Mm-mm, no. 540 00:17:36,604 --> 00:17:39,138 Oh, munchkin, come here. 541 00:17:39,217 --> 00:17:41,584 I'm gonna wash up and unpack. 542 00:17:41,609 --> 00:17:42,929 Come keep me company? 543 00:17:43,167 --> 00:17:45,034 Nothing would make me happier. 544 00:17:45,167 --> 00:17:46,950 I'll be right in. 545 00:17:51,728 --> 00:17:53,228 - [giggles] - _ 546 00:17:53,710 --> 00:17:55,538 "Retreated to her parlor," huh. 547 00:17:55,573 --> 00:17:57,206 - Zooey's back. - _ 548 00:18:01,370 --> 00:18:02,905 [cell phone buzzes] 549 00:18:07,577 --> 00:18:09,051 [electronic music] 550 00:18:09,087 --> 00:18:11,202 _ 551 00:18:13,641 --> 00:18:16,592 [upbeat music] 552 00:18:16,644 --> 00:18:17,677 553 00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:18,678 Can I just say, 554 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,730 I had your June of '98 "Vogue" cover 555 00:18:20,765 --> 00:18:23,149 in my locker all of 7th grade. 556 00:18:23,184 --> 00:18:25,935 Oh, my God, that's cool, thanks. 557 00:18:25,987 --> 00:18:28,104 Hey, can you help out a second? 558 00:18:28,156 --> 00:18:29,077 Yeah. 559 00:18:29,117 --> 00:18:30,195 Thanks, Phoebe. 560 00:18:31,075 --> 00:18:32,241 - Carson. - Mm-hmm? 561 00:18:32,276 --> 00:18:34,026 This girl, jowls, I'm not kidding. 562 00:18:34,028 --> 00:18:36,362 Can you tape them, try to put a jaw line on her, okay? 563 00:18:36,364 --> 00:18:37,413 - Okay. - Kind of in a hurry. 564 00:18:37,448 --> 00:18:38,497 Thanks. 565 00:18:40,182 --> 00:18:41,148 Tape them? 566 00:18:41,173 --> 00:18:42,866 What happened to all-natural? 567 00:18:44,122 --> 00:18:45,087 Jonas? 568 00:18:45,123 --> 00:18:46,088 Hey, I didn't know 569 00:18:46,124 --> 00:18:47,089 you we're gonna be here. 570 00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:48,791 - Phoebes, hey, honey. - Hi. 571 00:18:48,843 --> 00:18:50,376 Sorry, I couldn't sleep last night. 572 00:18:50,401 --> 00:18:52,735 You can work some magic, right? 573 00:18:54,215 --> 00:18:55,548 I'm so puffy. 574 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,466 No, stop it you're fine. 575 00:18:57,869 --> 00:18:59,536 Just breathe. 576 00:18:59,561 --> 00:19:01,060 Okay. 577 00:19:01,272 --> 00:19:02,452 I'm great. 578 00:19:02,630 --> 00:19:04,513 I didn't even want to think what year it was. 579 00:19:04,538 --> 00:19:06,622 The last time the three of us were in the same room together. 580 00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:07,946 I'm sorry, out of time, come on. 581 00:19:08,062 --> 00:19:09,028 Almost done. 582 00:19:09,063 --> 00:19:10,896 Sorry, I'm good, I'm good. 583 00:19:10,948 --> 00:19:13,065 I could do it, I could do it. 584 00:19:14,402 --> 00:19:15,735 It's gonna be fine, Marria. 585 00:19:15,787 --> 00:19:17,486 You won't regret this, I promise. 586 00:19:17,538 --> 00:19:18,571 I'm gonna be fine. 587 00:19:18,596 --> 00:19:19,523 Yeah. 588 00:19:23,378 --> 00:19:25,411 What does that mean? 589 00:19:25,463 --> 00:19:26,912 "You won't regret this." 590 00:19:26,964 --> 00:19:29,882 Oh, Alicia and I, the producer, we're super tight. 591 00:19:29,917 --> 00:19:32,301 And she called me about this and we started talking about 592 00:19:32,336 --> 00:19:33,469 what other girls might be good, 593 00:19:33,504 --> 00:19:36,088 and I totally pushed for you two. 594 00:19:36,113 --> 00:19:37,335 You didn't tell me that. 595 00:19:37,417 --> 00:19:39,641 - Well you're glad you're here, right? - Yeah. 596 00:19:41,095 --> 00:19:42,171 How is Jonas? 597 00:19:43,406 --> 00:19:44,939 Alcoholic. 598 00:19:45,335 --> 00:19:47,433 She's been sober for a few months. 599 00:19:47,435 --> 00:19:49,602 Just trying to throw her a bone. 600 00:19:49,654 --> 00:19:51,937 You should have seen her before I worked on her. 601 00:19:55,046 --> 00:19:58,097 I did see on the Twitter that you're fake date 602 00:19:58,122 --> 00:20:00,138 with the real doctor was a disaster. 603 00:20:00,163 --> 00:20:01,445 Well, I did cry 604 00:20:01,582 --> 00:20:02,865 over you. 605 00:20:02,917 --> 00:20:04,033 If you must know. 606 00:20:04,085 --> 00:20:05,618 Sad, but what an awesome story. 607 00:20:05,670 --> 00:20:06,619 Go on. 608 00:20:06,671 --> 00:20:07,484 [giggles] 609 00:20:07,509 --> 00:20:08,891 How much longer do you have to 610 00:20:09,090 --> 00:20:10,289 do that kind of stuff. 611 00:20:10,291 --> 00:20:11,957 It's kind of bad for my ego cookies. 612 00:20:11,959 --> 00:20:13,843 I don't know. 613 00:20:13,878 --> 00:20:15,878 I do know it's hard. 614 00:20:15,930 --> 00:20:17,038 Thank you. 615 00:20:17,904 --> 00:20:19,036 But I mean... 616 00:20:20,468 --> 00:20:22,101 Soon you have to abdicate your role 617 00:20:22,136 --> 00:20:24,553 as the face of the divorce industrial complex, right? 618 00:20:24,605 --> 00:20:25,554 Not necessarily. 619 00:20:25,606 --> 00:20:26,555 I am writing a book. 620 00:20:26,607 --> 00:20:27,607 Oh, I know. 621 00:20:27,642 --> 00:20:29,141 My parents read the press release. 622 00:20:29,193 --> 00:20:30,476 "I mean, your marriage failed. 623 00:20:30,478 --> 00:20:31,913 Do you have to announce it to the world?" 624 00:20:32,697 --> 00:20:34,577 Ugh, that's a good alternate title for the book. 625 00:20:34,615 --> 00:20:35,781 [laughs] 626 00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:38,984 I'm sure your parents are glad 627 00:20:39,009 --> 00:20:41,877 that you finally ditched the dead beat husband, right? 628 00:20:43,202 --> 00:20:44,374 I'm sorry. 629 00:20:44,408 --> 00:20:45,458 Jesus. 630 00:20:45,493 --> 00:20:47,243 They never gave you a real chance. 631 00:20:47,295 --> 00:20:50,162 And the truth is they have barely mentioned 632 00:20:50,164 --> 00:20:51,831 our split at all. 633 00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:52,998 Oh yeah, it's not about them. 634 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,166 Why would they? 635 00:20:54,168 --> 00:20:55,584 Don't be mean. 636 00:20:55,636 --> 00:20:57,169 I'm not being mean, I'm being realistic. 637 00:20:57,221 --> 00:20:59,505 I mean, you and Max are their props. 638 00:20:59,507 --> 00:21:02,641 They want the image of the perfectly happy family 639 00:21:02,677 --> 00:21:05,511 until something gets messy then... whoosh! 640 00:21:05,513 --> 00:21:07,513 They're ghosts! They're gone! 641 00:21:07,565 --> 00:21:08,647 That is not true. 642 00:21:08,683 --> 00:21:10,015 They raised us to be independent... 643 00:21:10,017 --> 00:21:11,851 Come on, they raised you to raise yourself. 644 00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:13,853 I mean, my mom may call three times a day, 645 00:21:13,905 --> 00:21:15,604 - Yeah, that does not mean... - But she would anything for me. 646 00:21:15,656 --> 00:21:17,022 - That she... - That means she's a parent! 647 00:21:17,074 --> 00:21:18,107 No! 648 00:21:18,159 --> 00:21:19,108 No. 649 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:20,493 This is Jake and Abby, 650 00:21:20,528 --> 00:21:22,528 greatest hits number 19. 651 00:21:22,580 --> 00:21:24,413 You are 19 with a bullet in rising. 652 00:21:24,448 --> 00:21:25,414 Could we just? 653 00:21:25,449 --> 00:21:26,532 - Move on. - Please. 654 00:21:26,534 --> 00:21:27,750 - Moving on! - That number 19 is gone. 655 00:21:27,785 --> 00:21:29,034 I'm throwing it out. 656 00:21:29,086 --> 00:21:30,369 I don't even know what you're talking about. 657 00:21:30,421 --> 00:21:31,787 What are you talking about? 658 00:21:36,624 --> 00:21:38,006 Yeah. 659 00:21:40,464 --> 00:21:41,714 Ah! 660 00:21:41,766 --> 00:21:43,682 Okay. 661 00:21:44,968 --> 00:21:46,218 I feel tense, do you feel tense? 662 00:21:46,220 --> 00:21:47,553 - Yeah, I feel a little tense. - Yeah. 663 00:21:47,555 --> 00:21:49,305 But I still feel like we're doing the right thing. 664 00:21:49,357 --> 00:21:50,806 You know, we're not going down old roads. 665 00:21:50,858 --> 00:21:52,024 - No, no, yeah, definitely. - Dead-ends. 666 00:21:52,059 --> 00:21:53,025 - Definitely. - Right? 667 00:21:53,060 --> 00:21:54,777 - Less talk more action. - Yes! 668 00:21:54,812 --> 00:21:58,113 - We should... - We could... make hot cocoa. 669 00:21:58,149 --> 00:21:59,865 Play a game of Hearts. 670 00:21:59,901 --> 00:22:01,483 Not exactly action... 671 00:22:01,536 --> 00:22:02,536 [laughs] 672 00:22:02,570 --> 00:22:03,536 If you want to go the mellow route, 673 00:22:03,571 --> 00:22:04,537 we could like 674 00:22:04,572 --> 00:22:05,621 binge watch "House of Cards." 675 00:22:05,656 --> 00:22:06,956 I've plowed through it already. 676 00:22:06,991 --> 00:22:07,957 - Okay. - Sorry. 677 00:22:07,992 --> 00:22:08,958 We were separated. 678 00:22:08,993 --> 00:22:09,959 It's... yeah. 679 00:22:09,994 --> 00:22:11,043 I mean, 680 00:22:11,078 --> 00:22:12,244 we could just take a bunch of ecstasy, 681 00:22:12,296 --> 00:22:14,213 find the old dance mixes and party all night. 682 00:22:14,248 --> 00:22:15,831 Oh, do you have molly? 683 00:22:15,883 --> 00:22:18,584 Molly... isn't that the New Coke of ecstasy? 684 00:22:18,636 --> 00:22:20,135 Do you have it? 685 00:22:20,171 --> 00:22:21,337 No, I don't have any. 686 00:22:21,362 --> 00:22:23,896 Aww, sounds amazing. 687 00:22:25,092 --> 00:22:26,141 You know there is this guy 688 00:22:26,177 --> 00:22:28,761 at the the Paradiso who says anytime I want, 689 00:22:28,813 --> 00:22:30,563 I could be back in like 40 minutes. 690 00:22:30,598 --> 00:22:31,538 Hurry up. 691 00:22:31,874 --> 00:22:33,482 [laughs] 692 00:22:33,517 --> 00:22:34,934 Kiss me first. 693 00:22:34,986 --> 00:22:36,936 Oh, my God. [laughs] 694 00:22:36,988 --> 00:22:37,988 All right, um, 695 00:22:38,022 --> 00:22:39,271 I'll text you when I get it. 696 00:22:39,273 --> 00:22:41,023 Okay, I'll find Charlie's glow sticks. 697 00:22:41,075 --> 00:22:42,608 Whoo! 698 00:22:42,610 --> 00:22:45,778 Zing, zing, zing, zing, zing, zing. 699 00:22:45,780 --> 00:22:48,077 [giggles] 700 00:22:57,484 --> 00:22:58,883 Novak, what? 701 00:22:58,919 --> 00:22:59,867 I need a quick favor. 702 00:23:00,039 --> 00:23:01,004 Is this a home invasion? 703 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,005 Uh, no. 704 00:23:02,041 --> 00:23:03,006 Fine, if you could show me 705 00:23:03,042 --> 00:23:04,124 how to forward a text message. 706 00:23:04,126 --> 00:23:05,209 Okay, I'm looking for that guy. 707 00:23:05,261 --> 00:23:06,627 I think he lives in 3F... 708 00:23:06,629 --> 00:23:07,629 Stanny? 709 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:08,629 Oh... it's pronounced "Staani". 710 00:23:08,681 --> 00:23:09,630 Stanni. 711 00:23:09,682 --> 00:23:10,631 - Like Yanni. - Uh-huh. 712 00:23:10,683 --> 00:23:11,765 He's in jail. 713 00:23:11,801 --> 00:23:13,016 - Oh, shit. - Yeah. 714 00:23:13,052 --> 00:23:14,017 Bummer. 715 00:23:14,053 --> 00:23:15,886 Forward texting, how? 716 00:23:15,938 --> 00:23:17,468 You just... 717 00:23:18,891 --> 00:23:20,307 Press it then you press contact. 718 00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:21,308 - Uh-huh. - See? 719 00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:22,309 Is this Zooey's phone? 720 00:23:22,361 --> 00:23:23,310 Yeah. 721 00:23:23,362 --> 00:23:24,645 She tells me she hate Charlene, right? 722 00:23:24,647 --> 00:23:25,646 I check the phone, 723 00:23:25,648 --> 00:23:26,814 and they've been texting each other 724 00:23:26,866 --> 00:23:29,650 back and forth with, "I miss you," "I miss you too," 725 00:23:29,652 --> 00:23:31,118 "I can't wait to come back." 726 00:23:31,153 --> 00:23:32,653 [scoffs] 727 00:23:32,705 --> 00:23:34,371 It's horrible, right? 728 00:23:34,406 --> 00:23:36,857 Okay, you are, one, spying on your daughter. 729 00:23:36,892 --> 00:23:38,208 And two, you're pissed 730 00:23:38,244 --> 00:23:39,209 that she's not miserable 731 00:23:39,245 --> 00:23:40,210 when she's with her father. 732 00:23:40,246 --> 00:23:41,462 She's lying to me. 733 00:23:41,497 --> 00:23:43,163 Well gosh, I wonder how you would've reacted 734 00:23:43,215 --> 00:23:44,381 had she told you the truth. 735 00:23:44,406 --> 00:23:46,156 That would have gone great for her. 736 00:23:48,446 --> 00:23:50,023 Why are you in my apartment again? 737 00:23:52,712 --> 00:23:55,079 Do you have any ecstasy, extra molly? 738 00:23:55,670 --> 00:23:57,530 [laughs] 739 00:23:57,596 --> 00:23:59,179 Oh, my God. 740 00:23:59,231 --> 00:24:00,848 You two are hilarious. 741 00:24:00,900 --> 00:24:01,849 What do you mean "you two?" 742 00:24:01,901 --> 00:24:02,850 What does that mean? 743 00:24:02,902 --> 00:24:05,819 Oh, I know all about it, lover boy! 744 00:24:05,844 --> 00:24:07,009 You don't know anything. 745 00:24:07,072 --> 00:24:08,522 Let's see here. 746 00:24:08,937 --> 00:24:11,024 No ecstasy because I'm not 15. 747 00:24:11,026 --> 00:24:12,025 Okay. 748 00:24:12,050 --> 00:24:13,967 Now we've got... oh. 749 00:24:14,864 --> 00:24:17,831 Two Ambien, couple Zoloft, 750 00:24:17,867 --> 00:24:20,534 a Lipitor, and, um... 751 00:24:20,968 --> 00:24:23,420 Oh, what do you know. 752 00:24:23,455 --> 00:24:26,173 A Viagra-Frumpkis I found in my shoe. 753 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:27,708 I'll take it all. 754 00:24:27,710 --> 00:24:28,959 Except the Viagra, thank you. 755 00:24:29,011 --> 00:24:30,544 Mm-hmm. 756 00:24:33,549 --> 00:24:34,882 Fine, just give it to me. 757 00:24:34,884 --> 00:24:36,049 Don't give me the look. 758 00:24:36,101 --> 00:24:38,051 Can I have a baggy or something please? 759 00:24:38,053 --> 00:24:41,388 So how's my... highly-wound friend doing? 760 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:44,441 She's, um... good you know, 761 00:24:44,476 --> 00:24:45,893 we'll see, we're working on it. 762 00:24:45,945 --> 00:24:47,394 She misses you. 763 00:24:47,396 --> 00:24:50,452 I miss her too a lot. 764 00:24:51,199 --> 00:24:52,198 And if you tell her I told you that 765 00:24:52,223 --> 00:24:53,922 I will kill you. 766 00:24:54,069 --> 00:24:55,118 Get out. 767 00:24:55,143 --> 00:24:57,109 Gladly. 768 00:24:57,156 --> 00:25:00,123 [club music] 769 00:25:00,159 --> 00:25:02,459 770 00:25:02,494 --> 00:25:05,495 [phone ringing] 771 00:25:10,070 --> 00:25:12,968 _ 772 00:25:21,821 --> 00:25:22,820 Hi. 773 00:25:22,845 --> 00:25:23,845 Hey. 774 00:25:23,983 --> 00:25:25,432 Pig tails? 775 00:25:25,434 --> 00:25:26,733 Interesting. 776 00:25:26,769 --> 00:25:27,985 Where are you? 777 00:25:28,020 --> 00:25:29,653 I'm just heading out to Soho House, 778 00:25:29,688 --> 00:25:30,988 Terry Gilliam's having a screening, 779 00:25:31,023 --> 00:25:31,989 "The Fisher King." 780 00:25:32,024 --> 00:25:33,273 You want to come? 781 00:25:33,275 --> 00:25:35,179 Um, last minute. 782 00:25:35,578 --> 00:25:36,777 I know I'm sorry, 783 00:25:36,779 --> 00:25:38,445 but I just found out I got a plus one. 784 00:25:38,447 --> 00:25:39,446 Is it too late? 785 00:25:39,448 --> 00:25:40,864 It is, 786 00:25:40,916 --> 00:25:42,616 but that sounds like fun. 787 00:25:42,618 --> 00:25:44,117 Look, one more question. 788 00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:45,335 Anything. 789 00:25:45,371 --> 00:25:47,421 Although it's impolitic to ask 790 00:25:47,456 --> 00:25:49,122 about your marital situation. 791 00:25:49,174 --> 00:25:50,265 What? 792 00:25:50,509 --> 00:25:52,426 If you want to do a follow-up piece, 793 00:25:52,461 --> 00:25:54,343 don't you need a follow-up date? 794 00:25:55,214 --> 00:25:56,679 Let me say this. 795 00:25:57,132 --> 00:25:59,800 I would like to follow-up. 796 00:25:59,802 --> 00:26:03,053 Good to hear. 797 00:26:03,105 --> 00:26:04,105 [chuckles] 798 00:26:04,139 --> 00:26:05,188 Until then. 799 00:26:05,278 --> 00:26:07,028 Okay, bye. 800 00:26:14,617 --> 00:26:18,437 [pop music] 801 00:26:18,462 --> 00:26:19,428 Gorgeous. 802 00:26:20,013 --> 00:26:21,249 Perfect 803 00:26:28,747 --> 00:26:30,964 It's good to be home, isn't it? 804 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:32,299 Yeah. 805 00:26:34,470 --> 00:26:36,054 Phoebe, over here. 806 00:26:37,006 --> 00:26:40,590 Okay. Yeah. 807 00:26:40,643 --> 00:26:43,593 [club music] 808 00:26:43,646 --> 00:26:45,374 809 00:26:45,399 --> 00:26:46,632 Abby. 810 00:26:47,412 --> 00:26:48,778 Abs? 811 00:26:48,851 --> 00:26:50,350 Abby, where are you? 812 00:26:50,402 --> 00:26:52,085 Got some really lame drugs! 813 00:27:00,370 --> 00:27:03,070 - Good morning, you. - Good morning. 814 00:27:04,533 --> 00:27:05,952 I feel asleep. 815 00:27:07,086 --> 00:27:08,535 No, you must have blacked out 816 00:27:08,587 --> 00:27:10,037 cause we... we rolled all night. 817 00:27:10,039 --> 00:27:11,121 We danced like maniacs. 818 00:27:11,173 --> 00:27:12,539 So you're going to be really tired. 819 00:27:12,591 --> 00:27:14,041 What's happening here? 820 00:27:14,093 --> 00:27:15,759 This dryer vent's been busted, 821 00:27:15,794 --> 00:27:17,711 and I'm just feeling handy, and I miss being 822 00:27:17,713 --> 00:27:18,879 the man around the house. 823 00:27:18,931 --> 00:27:20,547 You missed attacking 824 00:27:20,549 --> 00:27:22,766 various inanimate objects and screaming? 825 00:27:22,801 --> 00:27:25,385 Maybe let's try the... new version of that. 826 00:27:25,387 --> 00:27:27,104 Where I'm calm and capable 827 00:27:27,139 --> 00:27:28,472 and you're supportive. 828 00:27:28,497 --> 00:27:29,366 Sorry. 829 00:27:30,225 --> 00:27:31,391 You're cute. 830 00:27:31,443 --> 00:27:32,943 You are capable. 831 00:27:32,978 --> 00:27:35,195 And this is... this looks beautiful. 832 00:27:35,230 --> 00:27:36,196 Thank you so much. 833 00:27:36,231 --> 00:27:37,397 You're welcome. 834 00:27:37,449 --> 00:27:38,732 You mad about my party fail? 835 00:27:38,784 --> 00:27:40,951 No, I'm exhausted anyway. 836 00:27:40,986 --> 00:27:41,952 [blows] 837 00:27:41,987 --> 00:27:42,953 Actually, couldn't even find 838 00:27:42,988 --> 00:27:43,954 that guy at the Paradiso, 839 00:27:43,989 --> 00:27:45,288 so I had to score stuff from Jo. 840 00:27:45,324 --> 00:27:47,040 - Hilarious. - I know. 841 00:27:47,076 --> 00:27:48,458 What drugs did Jo have? 842 00:27:48,494 --> 00:27:50,460 Ambien, Zoloft, and Viagra. 843 00:27:50,496 --> 00:27:51,795 [laughs] 844 00:27:51,830 --> 00:27:53,747 So, we would have been sleepy, 845 00:27:53,772 --> 00:27:56,106 not depressed, and erect. 846 00:27:56,131 --> 00:27:57,430 Yeah, could've been a crazy night. 847 00:27:57,937 --> 00:27:59,653 It was a super cozy sleep though. 848 00:27:59,688 --> 00:28:01,671 - It was cozy. - Hmm. 849 00:28:02,966 --> 00:28:04,382 How's Jo? 850 00:28:05,748 --> 00:28:07,414 Jo's batshit crazy. 851 00:28:07,513 --> 00:28:08,979 Whatever is going on between the two of you, 852 00:28:09,014 --> 00:28:10,534 she seems like she wants to make peace. 853 00:28:10,566 --> 00:28:11,515 She misses you. 854 00:28:11,567 --> 00:28:13,900 Oh, peace sounds... 855 00:28:13,936 --> 00:28:15,102 complicated. 856 00:28:15,154 --> 00:28:16,937 I'm good. 857 00:28:16,989 --> 00:28:19,823 [upbeat music] 858 00:28:20,338 --> 00:28:23,339 [moaning] 859 00:28:25,614 --> 00:28:28,081 They want this every night. 860 00:28:28,117 --> 00:28:30,700 [moaning] 861 00:28:30,753 --> 00:28:32,786 Mr. Beech, Ms. Banai? 862 00:28:32,788 --> 00:28:34,121 Everything okay in there? 863 00:28:34,173 --> 00:28:35,539 Yes, you guess! 864 00:28:35,591 --> 00:28:37,457 In your shared bedroom. 865 00:28:37,459 --> 00:28:39,626 [both moaning] 866 00:28:47,318 --> 00:28:48,530 Hello? 867 00:28:49,075 --> 00:28:50,407 We'll take it! 868 00:28:50,432 --> 00:28:51,562 Wonderful! 869 00:28:52,691 --> 00:28:53,857 I'm here. 870 00:28:53,892 --> 00:28:55,642 Whenever. 871 00:29:02,034 --> 00:29:03,150 Fine. 872 00:29:03,152 --> 00:29:04,651 We go with the one bedroom. 873 00:29:04,703 --> 00:29:07,154 As long as you keep taking advantage of me. 874 00:29:07,179 --> 00:29:10,796 Oh, that makes me feel so good. 875 00:29:11,043 --> 00:29:13,405 You know, whenever 876 00:29:14,051 --> 00:29:15,718 I imagined being married, 877 00:29:15,743 --> 00:29:17,543 which was almost never, 878 00:29:17,666 --> 00:29:21,551 I did think about separate bedrooms, 879 00:29:21,587 --> 00:29:24,588 I mean, possibly as an idea but... 880 00:29:25,663 --> 00:29:27,132 When you brought it up, 881 00:29:28,015 --> 00:29:30,499 I decided, no way. 882 00:29:31,230 --> 00:29:33,346 I want my man close. 883 00:29:33,348 --> 00:29:35,460 It's funny how these things work, right? 884 00:29:39,571 --> 00:29:40,687 [romantic music] 885 00:29:40,739 --> 00:29:42,022 Wait a minute Gordon Beech, 886 00:29:42,074 --> 00:29:43,190 did you play me? 887 00:29:43,192 --> 00:29:44,991 You do have a certain consistencies 888 00:29:45,027 --> 00:29:45,992 of character. 889 00:29:46,028 --> 00:29:47,444 You played me! 890 00:29:47,496 --> 00:29:49,613 You mean you wanted one bedroom the whole time? 891 00:29:49,665 --> 00:29:52,365 Well hey, relationships are negotiation. 892 00:29:52,417 --> 00:29:54,773 Yes, and you are just so... good. 893 00:29:55,370 --> 00:29:56,703 I know, I know. 894 00:29:56,705 --> 00:29:57,704 Yes. 895 00:29:57,706 --> 00:29:59,539 God damn it, I love you. 896 00:30:02,628 --> 00:30:03,593 And done. 897 00:30:03,629 --> 00:30:04,594 Yeah? 898 00:30:04,630 --> 00:30:05,595 Impressed? 899 00:30:05,631 --> 00:30:07,180 I am, thank you. 900 00:30:07,216 --> 00:30:08,351 You're welcome. 901 00:30:09,101 --> 00:30:11,101 What's that? 902 00:30:12,354 --> 00:30:15,138 Oh yeah, what is that? 903 00:30:15,190 --> 00:30:17,546 Oh, I don't know. 904 00:30:18,143 --> 00:30:19,359 Run inside and turn the dryer on 905 00:30:19,394 --> 00:30:20,265 maybe it's not important. 906 00:30:20,290 --> 00:30:21,374 It looks important. 907 00:30:21,813 --> 00:30:22,779 Well, how do you know? 908 00:30:22,814 --> 00:30:23,780 I'm the one who fixed it. 909 00:30:23,815 --> 00:30:25,866 Except it's not fixed. 910 00:30:25,901 --> 00:30:27,117 I'm just gonna... 911 00:30:27,152 --> 00:30:28,618 - Just give me a minute. - I'm gonna YouTube it. 912 00:30:28,654 --> 00:30:29,870 - Are you kidding? - Open my laptop. 913 00:30:29,905 --> 00:30:31,571 I'm not being overbearing. 914 00:30:31,623 --> 00:30:33,206 If you need help and I'm helping. 915 00:30:33,242 --> 00:30:34,242 It's just help. 916 00:30:34,293 --> 00:30:35,242 Well, that was quite a sentence. 917 00:30:35,294 --> 00:30:36,376 You're a writer, right? 918 00:30:36,411 --> 00:30:38,662 And you're a dryer repairman, right? 919 00:30:40,713 --> 00:30:42,379 Okay, taking a breath. 920 00:30:42,404 --> 00:30:43,486 Breathing. 921 00:30:43,511 --> 00:30:44,510 Breathing. 922 00:30:44,535 --> 00:30:46,327 Argh. 923 00:30:47,055 --> 00:30:48,004 Same team. 924 00:30:48,056 --> 00:30:49,056 Same team. 925 00:30:49,091 --> 00:30:50,056 - Yes. - Okay. 926 00:30:50,092 --> 00:30:51,424 I think it will be a great idea 927 00:30:51,426 --> 00:30:52,592 if you went inside 928 00:30:52,644 --> 00:30:54,261 and use the Google machine 929 00:30:54,263 --> 00:30:55,312 and help me fix this. 930 00:30:55,347 --> 00:30:56,132 I shall. 931 00:30:56,157 --> 00:30:57,157 Thank you. 932 00:30:58,350 --> 00:31:00,100 Um, try... 933 00:31:00,102 --> 00:31:01,935 Strickland dryer vent weird piece 934 00:31:01,987 --> 00:31:03,320 or extra piece. 935 00:31:03,355 --> 00:31:05,021 - One sec. - Okay. 936 00:31:09,444 --> 00:31:10,443 Shit! 937 00:31:10,445 --> 00:31:11,734 Hey, I just said one sec! 938 00:31:12,497 --> 00:31:14,497 Just look it up, please. 939 00:31:17,336 --> 00:31:19,869 No, don't Google it, Google... are you... 940 00:31:19,922 --> 00:31:21,755 You checking emails right now? 941 00:31:21,790 --> 00:31:23,707 I saw something from Barbara 942 00:31:23,759 --> 00:31:24,708 about an assignment 943 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:25,709 and I was ignoring it 944 00:31:25,761 --> 00:31:26,760 so that we can have our weekend. 945 00:31:26,795 --> 00:31:27,794 Is trying to save your marriage 946 00:31:27,846 --> 00:31:29,452 getting the way of your divorce job? 947 00:31:30,098 --> 00:31:31,047 Wow. 948 00:31:31,099 --> 00:31:32,882 Yeah, here. 949 00:31:32,935 --> 00:31:34,601 Google it, please? 950 00:31:34,636 --> 00:31:36,019 No look, use Google Images... 951 00:31:36,054 --> 00:31:37,304 - Oh, my God! - You're looking for an image. 952 00:31:37,306 --> 00:31:39,139 Would you please stop micromanaging me? 953 00:31:39,141 --> 00:31:40,523 - I haven't even started. - Really? 954 00:31:40,559 --> 00:31:41,524 You're any further up my ass... 955 00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:42,943 - I could see out my mouth. - Out of my mouth. 956 00:31:42,978 --> 00:31:44,894 Yeah, yes, you know how I knew you were going to say that? 957 00:31:44,947 --> 00:31:47,814 Because you have said it an incalculable number of times! 958 00:31:47,816 --> 00:31:49,149 Fix it yourself. 959 00:31:50,452 --> 00:31:51,651 What is your problem? 960 00:31:51,653 --> 00:31:53,320 You are so stubborn! 961 00:31:53,372 --> 00:31:55,488 Yeah, I'm stubborn if I ever deigned to suggested that 962 00:31:55,490 --> 00:31:56,873 you're the one who maybe did something wrong! 963 00:31:56,908 --> 00:31:58,124 I have no idea what you're talking about. 964 00:31:58,160 --> 00:31:59,125 I think you're going crazy. 965 00:31:59,161 --> 00:32:00,161 You know what? 966 00:32:00,212 --> 00:32:02,329 Radical honesty, you're making me crazy! 967 00:32:02,331 --> 00:32:03,747 You can't handle honesty, Jake. 968 00:32:03,799 --> 00:32:04,831 Of any kind! 969 00:32:04,833 --> 00:32:05,832 Radical or otherwise. 970 00:32:05,834 --> 00:32:07,155 I can handle it! 971 00:32:07,180 --> 00:32:08,180 Can you? 972 00:32:08,205 --> 00:32:09,882 Bring it on. 973 00:32:11,288 --> 00:32:12,842 They were work emails, 974 00:32:12,867 --> 00:32:13,999 or they were Harris emails. 975 00:32:14,035 --> 00:32:15,284 Would you even know the difference anymore? 976 00:32:15,319 --> 00:32:16,285 Why does it even matter? 977 00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:17,286 Why does it matter 978 00:32:17,321 --> 00:32:18,287 if you're lying to me? 979 00:32:18,322 --> 00:32:19,405 Like you lied about having a baby... 980 00:32:19,457 --> 00:32:20,739 No, no, don't change the subject. 981 00:32:20,741 --> 00:32:22,195 Answer the question. 982 00:32:23,297 --> 00:32:24,630 Fine, yes. 983 00:32:24,632 --> 00:32:26,632 I corresponded with Harris... 984 00:32:26,684 --> 00:32:29,718 - Corresponded! - But only because all weekend, 985 00:32:29,770 --> 00:32:31,019 you've been picking on me... 986 00:32:31,055 --> 00:32:32,304 - All right. - And making me feel like shit. 987 00:32:32,306 --> 00:32:33,555 This is my fault. 988 00:32:33,607 --> 00:32:35,307 First of all, I've not been picking on you, 989 00:32:35,309 --> 00:32:36,869 I've been trying to have a sense of fun, 990 00:32:36,894 --> 00:32:38,393 which I understand is not exactly in your wheelhouse. 991 00:32:38,445 --> 00:32:39,394 This is what I'm talking about. 992 00:32:39,446 --> 00:32:40,395 You know what? 993 00:32:40,447 --> 00:32:41,530 If I do anything 994 00:32:41,565 --> 00:32:42,731 that's remotely corrected 995 00:32:42,783 --> 00:32:44,066 or remotely suggested, 996 00:32:44,118 --> 00:32:46,118 maybe you should just try to relax. 997 00:32:46,153 --> 00:32:47,819 You go to Defcon One. 998 00:32:47,821 --> 00:32:49,705 That's regular Defcon. 999 00:32:49,740 --> 00:32:51,290 No it... that's highest Defcon. 1000 00:32:51,325 --> 00:32:53,625 - No, it is not. - Stop it, stop it! 1001 00:32:53,661 --> 00:32:54,876 Our problem is, 1002 00:32:54,912 --> 00:32:56,962 and always will be, 1003 00:32:56,997 --> 00:32:59,131 what you said before you believed. 1004 00:32:59,554 --> 00:33:00,916 It's my fault. 1005 00:33:01,077 --> 00:33:02,389 Everything. 1006 00:33:02,552 --> 00:33:03,796 All the time. 1007 00:33:05,851 --> 00:33:06,888 Not true. 1008 00:33:06,924 --> 00:33:07,655 True. 1009 00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:09,063 I'm just a monkey. 1010 00:33:09,343 --> 00:33:11,009 I just fling my poo 1011 00:33:11,011 --> 00:33:12,227 and make bad decisions 1012 00:33:12,263 --> 00:33:13,263 and make messes 1013 00:33:13,314 --> 00:33:14,680 and you're the put upon adult 1014 00:33:14,732 --> 00:33:16,848 who has to come in and save the day. 1015 00:33:16,900 --> 00:33:18,767 And poor you, because your stuck 1016 00:33:18,819 --> 00:33:20,185 with your monkey husband, 1017 00:33:20,187 --> 00:33:23,710 you have to go find solace in other men! 1018 00:33:24,085 --> 00:33:26,441 Harris replaced Will! 1019 00:33:26,493 --> 00:33:28,179 Replaced Nate! 1020 00:33:28,984 --> 00:33:31,363 Who replaced your monkey husband! 1021 00:33:31,415 --> 00:33:34,416 [somber music] 1022 00:33:36,086 --> 00:33:39,037 Because you make me feel like shit. 1023 00:33:39,039 --> 00:33:40,789 - Oh, my God. - Come on, Jake. 1024 00:33:40,841 --> 00:33:42,046 Face it. 1025 00:33:43,127 --> 00:33:44,843 Who I am, 1026 00:33:44,878 --> 00:33:47,846 my neatness, my control, 1027 00:33:47,881 --> 00:33:49,131 my ambition. 1028 00:33:49,183 --> 00:33:50,716 You don't like me. 1029 00:33:50,718 --> 00:33:53,302 - Don't put it back on me. - No, you don't. 1030 00:33:53,354 --> 00:33:54,936 You resent that I provide for this family. 1031 00:33:54,972 --> 00:33:56,054 - Oh, here we go. - The more important thing... 1032 00:33:56,106 --> 00:33:58,056 - Money time! - You have no respect 1033 00:33:58,058 --> 00:33:59,057 for my career... 1034 00:33:59,059 --> 00:34:00,275 - How did you figure that? - Maybe if I... 1035 00:34:00,311 --> 00:34:02,728 gave a crap about stuff nobody cares about. 1036 00:34:02,730 --> 00:34:04,196 Joseph Gordon-Levitt cares about it. 1037 00:34:04,231 --> 00:34:06,231 And you just can't get over the fact 1038 00:34:06,233 --> 00:34:07,699 that I'm getting a movie made. 1039 00:34:07,735 --> 00:34:09,618 Your loser monkey husband is getting something done. 1040 00:34:09,653 --> 00:34:10,619 You know what? 1041 00:34:10,654 --> 00:34:11,703 I have been nothing but supportive, 1042 00:34:11,739 --> 00:34:12,704 even you have admitted that. 1043 00:34:12,740 --> 00:34:13,905 I got retroactive diamonds... 1044 00:34:13,907 --> 00:34:14,990 - When, when? - because of how supportive... 1045 00:34:15,042 --> 00:34:16,408 Yeah, well that was love goggles, 1046 00:34:16,410 --> 00:34:17,793 because you are not supportive 1047 00:34:17,828 --> 00:34:20,078 and you remind me on a daily basis 1048 00:34:20,130 --> 00:34:22,497 how much more functional and reasonable you are than me. 1049 00:34:22,549 --> 00:34:23,498 Because I am. 1050 00:34:23,550 --> 00:34:25,917 No reasonable, functional adult 1051 00:34:25,919 --> 00:34:28,303 would have knocked up his 26-year-old... 1052 00:34:28,339 --> 00:34:29,304 - Oh, my God! - actress rebound. 1053 00:34:29,340 --> 00:34:30,639 I pulled out. 1054 00:34:30,674 --> 00:34:32,891 - Oh, my God! - It was an accident. 1055 00:34:32,926 --> 00:34:33,925 You pulled out? 1056 00:34:33,927 --> 00:34:34,926 Yes! 1057 00:34:34,928 --> 00:34:36,311 Spoken like a true monkey! 1058 00:34:36,347 --> 00:34:38,063 Do you have any idea what you've done to our lives? 1059 00:34:38,098 --> 00:34:39,765 Spare me your self-righteous bullshit! 1060 00:34:39,767 --> 00:34:42,601 Monkey, monkey! 1061 00:34:42,603 --> 00:34:43,603 Stop that. 1062 00:34:43,654 --> 00:34:45,103 Monkey, monkey, monkey... 1063 00:34:45,105 --> 00:34:46,571 Shut this stupid mouth! 1064 00:34:46,607 --> 00:34:47,607 Shut up! 1065 00:34:48,609 --> 00:34:50,609 [phone ringing] 1066 00:34:55,165 --> 00:34:56,281 Hello? 1067 00:34:56,333 --> 00:34:58,166 Hey, Ford, how are the kids? 1068 00:34:58,202 --> 00:34:59,751 They're fine, okay. 1069 00:34:59,787 --> 00:35:01,420 No, um... 1070 00:35:01,455 --> 00:35:04,256 I'm sorry, I just ran in from outside. 1071 00:35:04,291 --> 00:35:06,875 Um, okay great, I'll see you in a little while. 1072 00:35:06,927 --> 00:35:08,460 Uh, Charlie couldn't sleep. 1073 00:35:08,512 --> 00:35:10,545 He's terribly homesick, 1074 00:35:10,597 --> 00:35:13,465 so Ford is bringing them back early and, ah... 1075 00:35:14,405 --> 00:35:16,238 He will be here soon. 1076 00:35:21,108 --> 00:35:23,308 I'll help you clean up this mess. 1077 00:35:23,310 --> 00:35:26,311 [somber music] 1078 00:35:26,313 --> 00:35:32,116 1079 00:35:34,321 --> 00:35:41,116 1080 00:35:47,769 --> 00:35:49,519 Hey, you. 1081 00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:50,969 Daddy! 1082 00:35:51,004 --> 00:35:51,970 Daddy just came over 1083 00:35:52,005 --> 00:35:53,054 to fix the dryer vent. 1084 00:35:53,090 --> 00:35:54,389 Yeah, I almost did it too. 1085 00:35:54,425 --> 00:35:55,507 Sweetheart. 1086 00:35:55,559 --> 00:35:56,842 I'm gonna head out, okay? 1087 00:35:56,844 --> 00:35:57,893 Cool. 1088 00:35:57,928 --> 00:35:59,344 Daddy, stay for dinner, please? 1089 00:35:59,379 --> 00:36:00,562 Oh buddy, dinner's not like for like a few... 1090 00:36:00,597 --> 00:36:01,813 No, Daddy! 1091 00:36:01,849 --> 00:36:03,381 Mommy, make him stay! 1092 00:36:03,417 --> 00:36:05,765 Please don't let him leave. 1093 00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:07,486 It's okay, Jake. Stay. 1094 00:36:07,521 --> 00:36:08,904 I'll order some pizzas in a little bit. 1095 00:36:08,939 --> 00:36:10,355 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 1096 00:36:10,357 --> 00:36:12,441 Yes, yes, I will stay for dinner. 1097 00:36:12,493 --> 00:36:14,025 - Yeah! - Ah! 1098 00:36:14,077 --> 00:36:16,828 - Yay! - All right go up, go clean up. 1099 00:36:20,367 --> 00:36:22,534 All right, let's get in the works. 1100 00:36:22,536 --> 00:36:23,752 Uh, where's Jonas? 1101 00:36:23,787 --> 00:36:25,587 I don't know, In-N-Out Burger? 1102 00:36:25,622 --> 00:36:27,205 I think she's drinking again. 1103 00:36:27,207 --> 00:36:29,791 So sad and so bloated. 1104 00:36:29,843 --> 00:36:31,426 She had like this panic attack 1105 00:36:31,462 --> 00:36:33,545 in makeup and it was just really sad. 1106 00:36:33,547 --> 00:36:36,631 Uh, no, I think she was nervous and she wasn't drunk. 1107 00:36:36,683 --> 00:36:38,767 And that definitely wasn't a panic attack. 1108 00:36:38,802 --> 00:36:40,635 Whatever, she let herself go. 1109 00:36:40,687 --> 00:36:42,137 Let's get to work! 1110 00:36:42,189 --> 00:36:43,688 She looked real. 1111 00:36:43,713 --> 00:36:45,629 Like a real woman without tape. 1112 00:36:45,692 --> 00:36:47,359 I appreciate your opinion, Phoebe. 1113 00:36:47,394 --> 00:36:48,777 Oh wait, I don't. 1114 00:36:48,812 --> 00:36:51,396 Please, just go to makeup. 1115 00:36:53,066 --> 00:36:54,566 Bloated, Marria? 1116 00:36:54,568 --> 00:36:55,568 Really? 1117 00:36:55,619 --> 00:36:57,986 Look, Phoebes. 1118 00:36:58,038 --> 00:36:59,788 I know how this goes. 1119 00:36:59,823 --> 00:37:01,406 They test a couple of girls. 1120 00:37:01,408 --> 00:37:02,791 You don't know how it's gonna work out. 1121 00:37:02,826 --> 00:37:04,543 Portfolios lie. 1122 00:37:04,578 --> 00:37:07,078 Alicia asked me who I liked from the old days, 1123 00:37:07,103 --> 00:37:09,304 so I stacked the deck a little. 1124 00:37:09,383 --> 00:37:11,917 You stacked the deck with Jonas? 1125 00:37:11,969 --> 00:37:13,585 You should be thanking me. 1126 00:37:13,637 --> 00:37:15,253 I knew she'd get cut 1127 00:37:15,305 --> 00:37:18,306 and now it's just between you and me. 1128 00:37:18,342 --> 00:37:19,937 Oh, my God. 1129 00:37:21,261 --> 00:37:22,594 What is wrong with you? 1130 00:37:22,859 --> 00:37:24,513 What, I forgot to screw my way 1131 00:37:24,565 --> 00:37:25,597 into millions of dollars, 1132 00:37:25,649 --> 00:37:27,679 so I could drink chai tea all day? 1133 00:37:28,382 --> 00:37:29,601 Wow. 1134 00:37:29,603 --> 00:37:31,736 So how are you gonna get me axed, huh? 1135 00:37:31,772 --> 00:37:34,022 What little lie were you gonna spread 1136 00:37:34,074 --> 00:37:35,273 about me? 1137 00:37:36,443 --> 00:37:37,776 I don't need this. 1138 00:37:37,828 --> 00:37:38,910 No. 1139 00:37:38,946 --> 00:37:40,078 You don't. 1140 00:37:40,284 --> 00:37:42,100 Aren't you lucky? 1141 00:37:44,284 --> 00:37:47,285 [somber music] 1142 00:37:47,287 --> 00:37:50,121 1143 00:37:50,123 --> 00:37:52,424 [man speaking on TV] 1144 00:37:52,459 --> 00:37:59,140 1145 00:38:22,851 --> 00:38:24,545 [exhales] 1146 00:38:25,946 --> 00:38:27,210 I should head out. 1147 00:38:27,327 --> 00:38:28,743 Uh, it's late. 1148 00:38:28,795 --> 00:38:29,795 Just stay. 1149 00:38:29,830 --> 00:38:30,879 I mean, we're both beat. 1150 00:38:30,914 --> 00:38:32,464 All right, thanks. 1151 00:38:32,732 --> 00:38:34,311 Where you going? 1152 00:38:34,843 --> 00:38:36,895 Uh, couch. 1153 00:38:37,232 --> 00:38:39,831 Just sneak out before they get up. 1154 00:38:40,336 --> 00:38:42,336 Like the bad old days. 1155 00:38:50,086 --> 00:38:53,037 [somber music] 1156 00:38:53,089 --> 00:39:00,878 1157 00:39:02,521 --> 00:39:04,187 Oh! 1158 00:39:10,523 --> 00:39:12,073 So... 1159 00:39:13,860 --> 00:39:15,026 Right. 1160 00:39:15,078 --> 00:39:16,773 Yeah. 1161 00:39:18,081 --> 00:39:19,062 Right. 1162 00:39:20,367 --> 00:39:22,200 So is Abby joining? 1163 00:39:22,202 --> 00:39:24,335 Uh, I texted her, I haven't... I haven't heard back. 1164 00:39:24,371 --> 00:39:26,454 I give it a 50/50 chance she shows. 1165 00:39:26,506 --> 00:39:27,705 Wow, what does that mean? 1166 00:39:27,707 --> 00:39:28,790 [speaking foreign language] 1167 00:39:28,842 --> 00:39:30,091 I don't know what that means. 1168 00:39:30,126 --> 00:39:31,175 That means she's not telling. 1169 00:39:31,211 --> 00:39:32,844 - See. - Hey, how was the shoot? 1170 00:39:32,879 --> 00:39:34,595 Yeah, Ms. Fancy Pants. 1171 00:39:34,631 --> 00:39:35,880 - I quit. - Uh-oh. 1172 00:39:35,932 --> 00:39:36,932 What? 1173 00:39:37,171 --> 00:39:38,015 Really? 1174 00:39:38,051 --> 00:39:39,100 I know. 1175 00:39:39,135 --> 00:39:40,685 Um, I guess 1176 00:39:40,720 --> 00:39:42,019 I thought it would be an ego boost, 1177 00:39:42,055 --> 00:39:43,521 but it turns out that, ah... 1178 00:39:43,556 --> 00:39:45,106 beautiful girls are disposable. 1179 00:39:45,141 --> 00:39:47,024 Yeah, cutthroat doesn't even begin 1180 00:39:47,060 --> 00:39:48,025 to describe that world. 1181 00:39:48,061 --> 00:39:49,061 And now that I'm ancient, 1182 00:39:49,112 --> 00:39:50,144 it's a lot worse. 1183 00:39:50,312 --> 00:39:51,145 I know. 1184 00:39:51,197 --> 00:39:52,530 By the way, when they say, 1185 00:39:52,565 --> 00:39:54,282 "No Photoshop and no makeup," 1186 00:39:54,317 --> 00:39:55,316 what they mean is they tape 1187 00:39:55,368 --> 00:39:56,484 and they moisturize the crap out of you 1188 00:39:56,536 --> 00:39:57,902 and then hit you with the supernova of fill light. 1189 00:39:57,954 --> 00:39:58,903 I knew it. 1190 00:39:58,955 --> 00:39:59,904 Wow. 1191 00:39:59,956 --> 00:40:01,122 Think I need to find something 1192 00:40:01,157 --> 00:40:02,623 that makes me feel good about myself 1193 00:40:02,659 --> 00:40:03,624 for the right reasons. 1194 00:40:03,660 --> 00:40:04,742 Right on, lady, I get it. 1195 00:40:04,895 --> 00:40:07,046 What will that be? 1196 00:40:07,414 --> 00:40:08,796 That is the question. 1197 00:40:08,984 --> 00:40:10,214 I don't know. 1198 00:40:10,250 --> 00:40:11,749 I grew up really fast 1199 00:40:11,751 --> 00:40:12,750 and I skipped a lot of steps, 1200 00:40:12,752 --> 00:40:13,885 so I need to go back 1201 00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:15,136 and walk a little bit slower 1202 00:40:15,171 --> 00:40:16,220 and see what I see. 1203 00:40:16,256 --> 00:40:17,472 What is this an incantation, 1204 00:40:17,507 --> 00:40:18,973 are you about to turn me into a newt? 1205 00:40:19,008 --> 00:40:21,175 Well, that sounds good. 1206 00:40:21,227 --> 00:40:22,530 Thank you, Julia. 1207 00:40:22,555 --> 00:40:25,640 So what's the first step you're gonna be stepping? 1208 00:40:25,899 --> 00:40:27,098 I don't know, 1209 00:40:27,150 --> 00:40:28,599 but as soon as I do know, 1210 00:40:28,651 --> 00:40:30,685 you two will be the first I tell. 1211 00:40:30,737 --> 00:40:32,570 - I love it. - Newt, how about that? 1212 00:40:32,605 --> 00:40:33,771 - I can't wait. - I can't wait. 1213 00:40:33,823 --> 00:40:35,990 Yay, jinx, buy me a Coke. 1214 00:40:36,025 --> 00:40:37,408 - I'm hungry. - Yes. 1215 00:40:37,444 --> 00:40:39,610 - Are you hungry? - Yes, I'm always hungry. 1216 00:40:39,612 --> 00:40:42,530 [soft pop music] 1217 00:40:42,582 --> 00:40:45,533 [footsteps] 1218 00:40:46,085 --> 00:40:52,089 1219 00:40:55,210 --> 00:40:56,511 You know I love you, right? 1220 00:40:57,171 --> 00:40:58,296 I do. 1221 00:40:59,997 --> 00:41:01,530 And I love you forever. 1222 00:41:04,551 --> 00:41:06,435 And we just can't fix it. 1223 00:41:07,690 --> 00:41:11,804 We are just these people together. 1224 00:41:14,614 --> 00:41:15,947 Are the kids gonna be okay? 1225 00:41:15,982 --> 00:41:17,698 Yeah, we'll make sure of it. 1226 00:41:19,931 --> 00:41:21,077 Okay. 1227 00:41:23,051 --> 00:41:25,719 We gave it a good second go, right? 1228 00:41:29,128 --> 00:41:30,249 We sure did. 1229 00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:31,780 [chuckles] 1230 00:41:32,165 --> 00:41:40,165 1231 00:41:40,173 --> 00:41:41,452 Jake. 1232 00:41:45,201 --> 00:41:47,008 I think my heart is breaking. 1233 00:41:47,647 --> 00:41:50,648 1234 00:41:55,039 --> 00:41:57,499 [both sobbing] 1235 00:42:06,694 --> 00:42:11,992 -- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -- -- www.addic7ed.com -- 1236 00:42:12,042 --> 00:42:16,592 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 79628

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.