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1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,007
♪
2
00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:12,534
But I need you.
3
00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:14,710
I don't believe you.
Prove it to me.
4
00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:16,929
Please, I can't do this
without you.
5
00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:18,975
What is the word
on the street these days
6
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,933
about herringbone?
7
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,762
-Not now, Dad.
-FRASIER: It's all right,
all right.
8
00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:26,678
I've got some options
in the downstairs closet here.
9
00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:28,332
I can't do this alone.
10
00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:31,074
So tell me, are you in
or are you out?
11
00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:32,509
Because if I
walk out that door...
12
00:00:32,554 --> 00:00:34,686
Is houndstooth too whimsical?
13
00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:38,038
Please, Dad.
14
00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:41,693
Because if I walk out that door
and you follow me,
15
00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:44,261
maybe...
16
00:00:44,305 --> 00:00:45,654
we'll start a movement.
17
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:51,355
I want to love it. I do.
I-I do, we ju... I'm just...
18
00:00:51,399 --> 00:00:54,793
-I'm not buying you in the role.
-Oh, what do you know? You...
19
00:00:54,837 --> 00:00:56,926
You're judging me
on an acting scale
20
00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:58,884
of one to Backdraft.
21
00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:00,147
Backdraftis
a cinematic masterpiece.
22
00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:01,974
No, Backdraftis fire porn.
23
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:04,715
Now, I know
what you two are thinking:
24
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:08,068
"here comes the Harvard lecturer
in his hackneyed tweed."
25
00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:12,333
No, but I was thinking,
"How long is it gonna
26
00:01:12,376 --> 00:01:14,422
take my dad to mention
he's teaching at Harvard?"
27
00:01:14,465 --> 00:01:16,511
Under a minute. It's impressive.
28
00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:19,818
So, just a bit longer than
you actually attended Harvard?
29
00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:23,822
So, mock me if you will,
but this is the beginning
30
00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:25,476
of a new academic era for me.
31
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,783
Frasier Crane is stepping
into a world where he can
32
00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:30,742
-impart wisdom
and influence young minds.
-FREDDY: Okay, Dad,
33
00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:33,354
no one loves hearing
Frasier Crane talk about
34
00:01:33,396 --> 00:01:35,007
Frasier Crane more than I do,
35
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:37,532
-but Eve's got
a big audition this week.
-Mm-hmm.
36
00:01:37,575 --> 00:01:39,751
It's a play about a girl
who works at a slaughterhouse
37
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,884
and she convinces her coworkers
to unionize
38
00:01:41,926 --> 00:01:45,192
through passion, grit
and a push-up bra.
39
00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:47,324
Well, if the dialogue
I overheard was any indication,
40
00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:49,413
then the cows
are the lucky ones.
41
00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:52,329
Dad, could you just...
42
00:01:52,372 --> 00:01:53,983
could you give us
a little peace and quiet?
43
00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:55,680
Oh, I'm sorry, yes,
if only Eve had a place
44
00:01:55,723 --> 00:01:57,291
where she could be on her own.
45
00:01:57,334 --> 00:01:59,293
Perhaps someplace that
I've already paid for,
46
00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:01,121
just directly across the hall.
47
00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:02,905
Oh, wait,
48
00:02:02,948 --> 00:02:04,472
aren't you late for the
boarding school where you teach
49
00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:07,083
unruly adolescents
the true meaning of poetry?
50
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,780
[knocking]
51
00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:11,696
I'll have you know
tweed's sophisticated wool
52
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:14,699
and sensible elbow patches
are emblematic
53
00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:17,049
of the intellect
and compassion it takes
54
00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:18,834
to inspire young minds.
55
00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:21,141
Are we twinsies?
56
00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:23,621
I'll change.
57
00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:28,017
Don't you have class right now?
58
00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:29,671
I'm here to take your father
under my wing
59
00:02:29,714 --> 00:02:31,586
and help him navigate
his first week at Harvard.
60
00:02:31,629 --> 00:02:34,023
I'll be the Sancho Panza
to your Quixote.
61
00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:35,329
All right, David.
62
00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:37,591
You know, I know
my way around Harvard.
63
00:02:37,635 --> 00:02:39,246
After all,
I did go to school there.
64
00:02:39,289 --> 00:02:41,204
Wait, you did?
'Cause I don't think
65
00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:42,727
you've ever
told us that story before.
66
00:02:43,946 --> 00:02:45,991
See, now, that's good acting.
67
00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:56,828
Well, if it isn't world-renowned
psychiatrist, TV personality
68
00:02:56,872 --> 00:03:00,528
and newly minted Harvard
educator Dr. Frasier Crane.
69
00:03:00,571 --> 00:03:03,705
Please, we're friends.
Just call me world-renowned.
70
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:06,577
And to what
do I owe the pleasure?
71
00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:07,839
Oh, as I told Alan, I came here
72
00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:09,319
to christen my newest ship.
73
00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:11,365
And I thought that meant
there'd be champagne.
74
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:13,497
So I brought you a cappuccino.
75
00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:15,891
You can imagine
my disappointment.
76
00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,371
Welcome aboard.
77
00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:19,024
It's been years
since I've had anyone here
78
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:22,114
with any passion, excitement
or even vital signs.
79
00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:26,293
-I-I also brought you this.
-Oh.
80
00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:29,992
Oh, a replica "thinking cap"
from my old talk show.
81
00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:32,864
How fun.
82
00:03:32,908 --> 00:03:35,692
Oh, he students will go nuts
if you break it out for them.
83
00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:38,000
Yes, well, you know,
I've put all that behind me.
84
00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:39,610
Gone are the days
when I would dole out
85
00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:41,438
ridiculous advice
to my TV audience.
86
00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:44,311
Sure, sure.
You-you don't have to use it.
87
00:03:44,353 --> 00:03:46,356
It's custom made,
overnight shipping.
88
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,706
The point is,
we're so glad you're here.
89
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:51,055
Glad?
Thanks to your popularity,
90
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:52,928
hardly any students
have signed up for my class,
91
00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:54,277
so I'm ecstatic.
92
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:00,544
[student whoops]
93
00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:04,374
Look around, uncle.
94
00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:06,550
You are the rosy-cheeked
debutante at
95
00:04:06,594 --> 00:04:07,899
this ball of the brains.
96
00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:09,292
I am the strapping,
young cadet...
97
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,337
-Go sit down, David.
-Okay.
98
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:16,995
Welcome to
a History of Psychology.
99
00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:19,519
In this semester, I will be
your Virgil, leading you
100
00:04:19,563 --> 00:04:21,522
not through the circles of Hades
but through the...
101
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,524
Excuse me.
I have a question.
102
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,177
Oh, well, I can ramp back into
103
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:27,092
my Virgil speech in a moment.
Uh, yes?
104
00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:30,139
I think my boyfriend
might be cheating on me.
105
00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:32,183
Should I confront him?
106
00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:35,579
Well, I...
I am sorry to hear that,
107
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,755
but, uh, this is not
my old TV show.
108
00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:40,976
I'm not giving out any
personal advice. Uh... Yes?
109
00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:43,457
I have your first
call-in question.
110
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:46,024
She's from Phoenix, Arizona.
She's my mom.
111
00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:48,026
She wants to know
if you're as handsome in person
112
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,637
as you were on TV.
113
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,595
[chuckling]
114
00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:54,163
That is not for me to say.
115
00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:56,948
Peoplemagazine said,
"Yes, absolutely," but...
116
00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:58,341
we're getting off track.
Now, now,
117
00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,517
to our-our first lecture.
118
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:02,345
What made
119
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:05,348
Wilhelm Maximilian Wundt tick?
120
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:07,437
Hmm?
Our story begins
121
00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:09,439
-in Mannheim, Germany.
-DAVID: Uncle,
122
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:11,354
this guy's not taking notes.
He's Googling you.
123
00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:14,139
Stop searching
"Frasier Crane height."
124
00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:15,924
It's all right, David.
125
00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:17,317
No, it's not okay.
126
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,579
Why does he need to know
your net worth?
127
00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:20,276
A man's true value
has always be...
128
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,365
Oh, my God, uncle,
you're like a Rockefeller.
129
00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:24,236
[students murmuring]
130
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:27,239
Kind of makes your Christmas
gifts seem ungenerous.
131
00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:30,678
All right, all right.
That's enough, that's enough!
132
00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:33,376
I'd like to make one thing
absolutely clear.
133
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,987
This class will have
nothing to do with my career,
134
00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:38,120
my public life
or my old TV show.
135
00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:41,515
I am here to lead you on
a challenging academic odyssey.
136
00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:44,692
And if you are here
for any other reason...
137
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:47,782
...then I invite you
to leave now.
138
00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,189
Great.
139
00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,585
Well, we've
140
00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:10,544
separated the
wheat from the chaff.
141
00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:12,328
Now...
142
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:15,331
...are there any
serious questions?
143
00:06:18,203 --> 00:06:19,640
I'm six foot, one.
144
00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,383
Tried to finish the lecture.
145
00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,167
As I continued to talk,
their eyes
146
00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,517
just started to glaze over
as if they weren't even...
147
00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:33,480
Alan.
148
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:36,439
-Alan!
-Mm?
149
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,267
Yeah, I'm glad
it went so smoothly.
150
00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:41,009
-Another triumph.
-No. No.
151
00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:42,576
I failed.
152
00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:44,707
I wanted them to take me
seriously as a professor,
153
00:06:44,752 --> 00:06:47,450
and they rejected me,
completely.
154
00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:51,280
If you would just stop trying,
I promise you will stop failing.
155
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:56,590
Dr. Crane, I just left
the registrar's office.
156
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,592
Eight students withdrew
from your class today.
157
00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:00,158
Olivia, please.
158
00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:01,943
Frasier's taking this
hard enough as it is.
159
00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:03,597
Most of them then signed up
for your class.
160
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,425
Damn it, Frasier,
get your act together!
161
00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:08,253
OLIVIA:
What happened?
162
00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:09,864
I thought you'd be
natural at teaching.
163
00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:12,170
You have decades of experience
in TV and radio.
164
00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:14,042
But that's not teaching.
That's entertainment.
165
00:07:14,085 --> 00:07:15,522
I'm not a dancing bear.
166
00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:18,089
Oh, no one thinks of you
as a dancing bear.
167
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:20,483
But universities have changed
since you were a student here
168
00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:23,138
for... thir... twe... for...
several decades ago.
169
00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:27,621
Students today
need a little showmanship.
170
00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:29,057
That's where you come in.
171
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:32,234
You make the hard ideas
go down easy.
172
00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:33,801
[chuckles]
173
00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:36,368
So, I'm the cheese
wrapped around a dog's pill?
174
00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:38,632
Yes, you get it.
175
00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,460
Now, if you could just see
176
00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:43,985
how enthusiastically
the students would react
177
00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:46,291
to just a little glimpse
of the old you,
178
00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:47,902
I know you would
change your mind.
179
00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:49,120
I'm not changing my mind.
180
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,341
Okay, but we still
need you to succeed.
181
00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:54,038
We are paying you
a lot of money.
182
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:55,431
You're paying me almost nothing.
183
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,477
Which is a lot of money
in academia.
184
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,523
It is all about the numbers.
185
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,090
And if you do not bring more
students into this department,
186
00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:03,526
well, then the numbers
are not good.
187
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:04,962
What do you suggest?
188
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:08,270
Uh, well,
this is a new career for you,
189
00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:10,490
so maybe you would benefit
from some seasoned help.
190
00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:13,667
-That sounds reasonable.
-That's perceptive.
-Mm-hmm.
191
00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:15,538
So, until you get your sea legs,
192
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:17,192
why don't you co-teach
your classes with Alan?
193
00:08:17,235 --> 00:08:18,846
-Well, that's ridiculous.
-What is wrong with you?
194
00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:20,804
My goodness.
195
00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:23,111
Alan is-is lazy.
196
00:08:23,154 --> 00:08:24,982
He doesn't even finish
anything he starts.
197
00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:26,854
And Frasier is...
198
00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:28,159
Eh.
199
00:08:33,861 --> 00:08:36,167
What do you say, Alan--
is it worth a try?
200
00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:37,821
Well...
201
00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:40,302
Please, Alan,
help me help Dr. Crane help
202
00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:43,000
the next generation of people
who will help other people.
203
00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:46,656
Sounds like a Ponzi scheme
of benevolence.
204
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,180
Are you really saying
205
00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:51,792
I should take on extra work
without extra pay?
206
00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:54,490
I am saying that you should help
your oldest and dearest friend.
207
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,145
Without extra pay.
208
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,757
You can bring your cat
back to the office.
209
00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:03,891
Fine, I'll do it.
210
00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:05,545
Anything for a dear friend.
211
00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,808
You're talking about your cat?
212
00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:10,114
Well, who do you think
I was talking about?
213
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,295
You in a hurry to get home
to get your cat?
214
00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:19,559
No, no, that would be silly.
215
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:20,734
Frasier Crane,
216
00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:22,649
meet Margaret Scratcher.
217
00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:28,785
Now, if I may,
218
00:09:28,829 --> 00:09:31,614
what's so offensive
about being a dancing bear?
219
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:35,183
You're a natural showman.
Why not use that talent?
220
00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:36,401
I don't want to be
a showman anymore.
221
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:38,273
I want to make an impact.
222
00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:40,188
Well, didn't you make an impact
on your television program?
223
00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:41,755
Well, it's debatable.
224
00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:43,670
But then again, you know that.
You saw it.
225
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:48,239
You did see my show, didn't you?
226
00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:49,632
Of course.
227
00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,547
B... Bits and pieces.
228
00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:54,376
I may have missed it.
229
00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:56,465
It was on for 14 years.
230
00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:59,642
Here, let me show you.
231
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:04,778
Perhaps the real reason
you have not yet asked
232
00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:07,607
your daughter to forgive you
233
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:10,044
is that you have not yet
forgiven yourself.
234
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,700
[crying]
235
00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:25,189
Well, this is all
rather insightful.
236
00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:28,105
That was season one.
237
00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:29,629
Here's a clip from...
238
00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:32,806
...season 13.
239
00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:34,546
[lively music playing]
240
00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:35,678
♪ Dr. Crane♪
241
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:38,072
♪ He can fix your brain♪
242
00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:41,075
♪ Keep from going insane
and take away the pain♪
243
00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:43,555
♪ Yeah, it's Doctor,
Dr. Crane.♪
244
00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:45,601
ANNOUNCER:
Oh, Doctor!
245
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,038
[whooping, cheering]
246
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,786
[laughing]
247
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,181
How about that audience,
huh, Gilbert?
248
00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:02,662
Lovely, lovely, lovely!
249
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,707
Welcome!
250
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,753
Today on our show,
I will be delving
251
00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:10,147
into the mind of the world's
smartest pig,
252
00:11:10,191 --> 00:11:12,062
Albert Swinestein!
253
00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:15,718
Then, we'll unveil this week's
254
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:19,026
-Frasier's Fra-vorite Things.
-[laughs]
255
00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:20,244
[applause, whooping]
256
00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:22,246
And Tom Arnold is here!
257
00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:23,726
[audience whooping]
258
00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:27,817
But first, let's put on...
259
00:11:27,861 --> 00:11:30,820
ALL:
...our thinking caps.
260
00:11:30,864 --> 00:11:32,474
[laughter]
261
00:11:37,566 --> 00:11:39,611
I see now why you may have felt
262
00:11:39,655 --> 00:11:41,831
that you'd lost your way.
263
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:43,354
At one point...
264
00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:45,617
...I hawked a tinted moisturizer
265
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:48,272
with the tagline...
266
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:49,970
"I'm glistening."
267
00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:54,148
And that's why I quit.
268
00:11:54,191 --> 00:11:57,238
My show had devolved
into meaningless fluff.
269
00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:59,327
My greatest nightmare is that
270
00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:01,242
that will be my whole legacy.
271
00:12:01,285 --> 00:12:04,767
Are you sure this isn't less
about how people will see you
272
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:07,030
and more about
how you see yourself?
273
00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:09,293
Don't you diagnose me
with your projection.
274
00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:11,252
It's merely a suggestion
of projection.
275
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:13,471
I have an objection
to your projection suggestion.
276
00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:16,039
And I question your rejection
of my projection suggestion.
277
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:20,652
But if you're intent on
avoiding the razzle-dazzle,
278
00:12:20,696 --> 00:12:23,351
then we'll have to win over
your class with substance.
279
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:26,876
And I think I know the very
substance we should start with.
280
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,226
Substance-- you're talking
about a drink, aren't you?
281
00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:31,359
Oh, you mean a book.
282
00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:33,578
How about that?
283
00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:35,319
Ah, I was right the first time.
284
00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:43,110
Oh, hi. How are you feeling
about your second class?
285
00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:45,068
Better.
Alan and I dug deep last night
286
00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:46,853
and came up with some things
I think you're really...
287
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:50,030
That's fantastic.
Uh, so I sent Alan in already
288
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:51,901
and, you know,
I hope it's okay--
289
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:53,555
I futzed with the lighting
a little bit
290
00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:55,600
and I made a few other
little changes
291
00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:57,515
just to help you feel more
at home. You'll barely notice.
292
00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,169
Thank you. You're really
taking good care of me.
293
00:12:59,213 --> 00:13:01,171
Anything for my
"fra-vorite" teacher.
294
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:04,827
Did you say "fra-vorite"?
295
00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:06,481
No.
296
00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:08,788
Oh, just one more thing.
297
00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:10,833
These doors are broken
or whatever.
298
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:14,358
If you wouldn't mind
using the, uh, top entrance,
299
00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:15,795
just going around?
300
00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:17,231
Okay.
301
00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:24,281
[lively music plays on speakers]
302
00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:27,415
♪ Dr. Crane,
he can fix your brain♪
303
00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:29,634
♪ Keep from going insane...♪
304
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,593
It's my greatest nightmare!
305
00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:33,464
ANNOUNCER:
Oh, Doctor!
306
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:41,037
Dr. Crane, where are you going?
You have class.
307
00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:42,560
Well, that makes one of us.
308
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:46,390
You tricked me.
309
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:49,002
No. No, no, no, no.
I tricked you and Alan.
310
00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:52,005
He had no idea
I had that planned.
311
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:53,658
And I was hoping that
once you saw how excited
312
00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:56,009
the students were,
you would embrace the old you.
313
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:58,489
You want the dancing bear,
don't you?
314
00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:01,144
No. What I want is a healthy
learning environment
315
00:14:01,188 --> 00:14:02,667
-for my...
-You want the dancing bear!
316
00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:04,278
Of course I want
the dancing bear!
317
00:14:04,321 --> 00:14:06,454
Why do you think I hired you--
318
00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:08,325
for your negligible
teaching experience?
319
00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:10,719
For the zero academic papers
that you've written?
320
00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:12,242
No.
321
00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:14,201
Because you are a big,
beautiful dancing bear
322
00:14:14,244 --> 00:14:17,421
in a pink tutu that the students
will actually pay attention to.
323
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,337
That is why you are here.
324
00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:22,687
So dance, bear, dance!
325
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,734
I refuse!
326
00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:27,388
I walked out of this job once
before and I'll do it again!
327
00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:29,390
Oh, no, Dr. Crane,
please, please.
328
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:30,870
I put myself
on the line for you.
329
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,697
The numbers are bad.
If you quit now,
330
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,482
well, the numbers--
they're going to get worse.
331
00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:36,658
What are these numbers
you keep talking about?
332
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:39,182
They're numbers.
And they're bad.
333
00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:41,141
This is Harvard!
334
00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:43,230
-For God's sake,
Harvard's endowment alone
-You see, the big numbers
335
00:14:43,273 --> 00:14:44,709
-could power a small country
-are little
and the little numbers
336
00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:45,754
-for centuries!
-should be big... Okay,
337
00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:46,668
it's not about the numbers,
338
00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:47,364
it's about my sister!
339
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:49,236
All my life,
340
00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:51,368
she's been just
a little more popular,
341
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:52,804
a little more successful.
342
00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:56,069
I don't know
if-if you've ever dealt
343
00:14:56,112 --> 00:14:58,245
with a-a sibling
with whom you have
344
00:14:58,288 --> 00:15:01,509
a very intense
and competitive relationship.
345
00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:09,169
I am familiar with the dynamic.
346
00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,172
I need your star power
347
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:14,826
to finally beat my sister.
348
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:17,655
She just made provost at Yale.
Yale,
349
00:15:17,699 --> 00:15:20,920
-Frasier, Yale!
-Don't you "Yale" at me!
350
00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:27,056
Okay, one more time.
351
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,232
Can we take a break?
I'm exhausted.
352
00:15:29,276 --> 00:15:30,973
The last time I pushed
myself this hard,
353
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,670
John popped out.
354
00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,672
You got to use it, okay?
355
00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:36,152
Y-You're supposed to be
at the end of your rope
356
00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:37,458
in this scene, right?
You got-you got to sound
357
00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:39,895
beaten down, pathetic,
358
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,636
self-pitying, like no one
359
00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:44,334
on the face of the planet
believes in you.
360
00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:45,683
Do you have an example?
361
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:56,738
Am I...
362
00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:59,480
destined to be a failure?
363
00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:03,049
One by one,
they've attached strings
364
00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:05,790
to my wrists and to my knees.
365
00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:08,402
I've been turned into a puppet.
366
00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:11,013
To dance at their behest.
367
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:12,754
And once I've outlived
my usefulness,
368
00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:14,538
it's back in the box I go.
369
00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:20,022
Yeah.
So, that, but likable.
370
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:21,371
I don't know.
I feel like the energy
371
00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:23,765
needs to be quirky and angrier.
372
00:16:23,808 --> 00:16:25,027
What?
What would that even look like?
373
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:28,596
My ire is peaked.
374
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:33,209
They booby-trapped you
in your own charisma.
375
00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:37,039
How dare they debase you
by forcing you to do
376
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:41,043
the very thing you did
by choice for 15 years?
377
00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:43,002
I'm sorry, what is this about?
378
00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:44,220
-Allow me.
-Sit down, David.
379
00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:45,526
Okay.
380
00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:50,879
Things aren't working out
at Harvard.
381
00:16:50,922 --> 00:16:52,141
I'm thinking of leaving.
382
00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:54,796
Wow.
383
00:16:56,276 --> 00:16:57,755
Really?
384
00:16:57,799 --> 00:16:59,583
Oh, sorry, Dad,
385
00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:02,064
just so I have this
100% crystal clear--
386
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:04,980
you're thinking
of dropping out...
387
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:13,423
...of Harvard?
388
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,686
I...
[sighs] Dad,
389
00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:19,560
do you think you gave Harvard
enough of a chance?
390
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:22,911
You're just so bright, Dad.
I...
391
00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,695
I'd hate to see you waste
that kind of potential.
392
00:17:27,262 --> 00:17:29,483
Are you having trouble
making friends?
393
00:17:31,224 --> 00:17:33,008
Tell you what--
why not take a gap year?
394
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,488
You know,
take a little time to...
395
00:17:34,531 --> 00:17:36,185
to think things over,
'cause, you know,
396
00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:37,578
I'm just worried about
397
00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:38,796
how this is gonna affect
398
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,625
the rest of your life.
399
00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:44,019
What am I supposed
to tell my friends?!
400
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,330
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
401
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:54,464
Are you high on drugs?
402
00:17:58,294 --> 00:18:01,080
Very funny.
Very droll.
403
00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:03,995
You quite finished?
404
00:18:04,039 --> 00:18:05,823
No, Dad, I'm just kidding.
[chuckles]
405
00:18:05,867 --> 00:18:07,825
No one gets it more than I do.
Harvard's not for everyone.
406
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:10,654
-It's-it's okay to give up.
-I'm not giving up.
407
00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:13,353
-No, I'm just saying there's
no shame in being a quitter.
-I'm not a quitter.
408
00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:17,096
Well, you quit your radio show,
you quit your TV show.
409
00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:18,749
Didn't you and Uncle Niles
once have a restaurant
410
00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,882
you quit after, like, one day?
411
00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:25,495
I'm not quitting, I just...
412
00:18:25,539 --> 00:18:27,062
I can't seem to figure out
413
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,325
how to get my students
to take me seriously.
414
00:18:29,369 --> 00:18:31,893
You know, the character
I'm auditioning for--
415
00:18:31,936 --> 00:18:34,069
nobody takes her
seriously, either.
416
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,679
Nobody except for Julius,
417
00:18:35,723 --> 00:18:38,378
the partially-blind
night shift custodian.
418
00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:40,597
And the way he talks about her
419
00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:43,687
allows others to see her
for the leader that she is,
420
00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:47,126
right up until he falls into
the industrial meat grinder.
421
00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:51,652
So...
422
00:18:51,695 --> 00:18:55,046
if I could find my Julius--
423
00:18:55,090 --> 00:18:56,918
one student with whom
I could engage
424
00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,224
in an inspiring conversation
425
00:18:58,267 --> 00:18:59,616
and thereby win over
the entire class.
426
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:04,099
And I bet I know
just the Julius I need.
427
00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:08,190
I bet you do.
428
00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:15,197
After that brief
hiccup yesterday,
429
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:17,721
I think it's time
we got back on track.
430
00:19:17,765 --> 00:19:19,723
Uh, but first,
does anyone have a question?
431
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:21,247
I have a question.
432
00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:23,379
Anyone?
Anyone at all?
433
00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:25,642
Ah, yes, the young lady
in the back there.
434
00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:28,254
Yes, I have prepared a question
for you, Dr. Crane.
435
00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:32,040
Oh, wonderful.
Well, I'm excited to hear that.
436
00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:34,173
I'm your helper.
437
00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:36,697
I'm... I'm your...
I'm your Sancho Panza.
438
00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:39,526
It's about Hermann Ebbinghaus.
439
00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:42,485
Oh, yes, Ebbinghaus.
Oh, very interesting.
440
00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:45,488
You planned this without me.
You totally went over my head.
441
00:19:45,532 --> 00:19:48,448
Yes, and as a serious academic,
442
00:19:48,491 --> 00:19:50,972
could you tell me
what his whole deal was?
443
00:19:51,015 --> 00:19:53,496
And, please,
no gimmicky showmanship.
444
00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:57,196
Uh, excuse me... ma'am.
445
00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:59,546
Ma'am?
I'm not a ma'am.
446
00:19:59,589 --> 00:20:02,897
I'm a miss.
I'm a young, co-ed miss.
447
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:04,377
Well, I'm convinced.
448
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:07,510
Really? 'Cause you look like
an old mom.
449
00:20:07,554 --> 00:20:10,165
If I look old, it's because
somebody made me wear
450
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,949
this stupid turtleneck.
451
00:20:11,993 --> 00:20:13,951
Oh, now,
as Ebbinghaus once said...
452
00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:15,649
Nobody is buying
453
00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:18,304
-this little act.
-Oh, yeah? Show of hands--
454
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:20,001
who thinks I'm a student?
455
00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:24,266
Oh... Well, she-she's not.
456
00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:27,269
She's just a wannabe actress
who stole my moment.
457
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:29,097
Wannabe?
458
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:31,447
I have these dweebs
eating out of my hand.
459
00:20:31,491 --> 00:20:33,275
You took advantage of him,
didn't you?
460
00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:36,322
You took advantage
of this poor, gullible buffoon.
461
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:40,108
Or maybe I'm here because
he knew that you couldn't do it.
462
00:20:40,151 --> 00:20:41,762
Well, go find your own uncle,
463
00:20:41,805 --> 00:20:44,155
'cause this one's mine!
464
00:20:44,199 --> 00:20:46,288
[chanting]:
Fight, fight, fight, fight,
465
00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:47,855
-fight, fight, fight,
-All right, all right.
466
00:20:47,898 --> 00:20:49,291
-fight, fight, fight...
-Everyone, calm down.
467
00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:51,162
She's only here
because my uncle pays
468
00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:53,034
for an apartment
for her and her baby.
469
00:20:53,991 --> 00:20:55,906
All right, stop, stop!
470
00:20:57,778 --> 00:20:58,822
Everyone.
471
00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:02,130
I think it's time...
472
00:21:02,173 --> 00:21:05,307
we put on our
473
00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:07,266
-thinking caps.
-Thinking caps!
474
00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:22,542
Sounds like
your class went well.
475
00:21:22,585 --> 00:21:25,762
I was teaching next door
and the applause woke me up.
476
00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:29,766
Yes.
477
00:21:29,810 --> 00:21:31,942
I had them eating
out of the palm of my hand.
478
00:21:33,248 --> 00:21:35,511
Did manage to squeeze in
479
00:21:35,555 --> 00:21:37,557
20 minutes about
Hermann Ebbinghaus
480
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,211
because of this silly hat,
481
00:21:40,255 --> 00:21:41,691
and a story I told them about
482
00:21:41,735 --> 00:21:44,607
Albert Swinestein's
quiz show scandal.
483
00:21:44,651 --> 00:21:46,653
So, why do you look so glum?
484
00:21:46,696 --> 00:21:49,830
Because this wasn't
who I wanted to be.
485
00:21:49,873 --> 00:21:51,919
Thirty years ago...
486
00:21:51,962 --> 00:21:54,617
I left Boston
with my tail between my legs.
487
00:21:55,879 --> 00:21:59,187
I had dreams
of returning, triumphant.
488
00:21:59,230 --> 00:22:01,015
Now those dreams
just keep slipping
489
00:22:01,058 --> 00:22:02,495
farther and farther away.
490
00:22:03,844 --> 00:22:05,454
It's a rather fetching hat.
491
00:22:05,498 --> 00:22:07,195
May I have a look?
492
00:22:08,849 --> 00:22:10,416
Ow!
493
00:22:10,459 --> 00:22:11,634
What was that for?
494
00:22:11,678 --> 00:22:13,941
For being a baby.
495
00:22:13,984 --> 00:22:17,031
You're rich, you're famous,
your students love you.
496
00:22:17,074 --> 00:22:20,034
For some reason, you smell
naturally of sandalwood.
497
00:22:21,078 --> 00:22:22,558
What more
could you possibly want?
498
00:22:22,602 --> 00:22:24,255
I wanted to make an impact.
499
00:22:24,299 --> 00:22:26,432
Wanted to realize
the potential I had
500
00:22:26,475 --> 00:22:28,521
when I set out on this
career path 40 years ago.
501
00:22:29,609 --> 00:22:31,437
I see.
502
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,744
That's a rather fetching belt.
Do you mind if I have a look?
503
00:22:36,180 --> 00:22:37,921
Am I being that ridiculous?
504
00:22:37,965 --> 00:22:40,228
You got 18-year-olds
to listen to a lecture
505
00:22:40,271 --> 00:22:42,839
about Ebbinghaus for 20 minutes,
506
00:22:42,883 --> 00:22:45,668
and all it took was a silly hat
and a story about a pig.
507
00:22:45,712 --> 00:22:47,583
Which, by the way,
I have to hear.
508
00:22:49,150 --> 00:22:51,587
[gasps]
♪ Dr. Crane.♪
509
00:22:51,631 --> 00:22:53,546
Oh, it was marvelous!
510
00:22:53,589 --> 00:22:55,678
The students were raving.
You're a hit.
511
00:22:55,722 --> 00:22:59,682
Yes, Frasier was just
complaining about being beloved.
512
00:23:00,901 --> 00:23:02,555
Do you mind if
I take a look at this hat?
513
00:23:04,557 --> 00:23:05,949
Hmm.
514
00:23:05,993 --> 00:23:08,474
I have a little bit
of a confession.
515
00:23:08,517 --> 00:23:10,389
This thinking cap
wasn't shipped overnight.
516
00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:13,392
I bought it years ago when
I came to see your show live.
517
00:23:13,435 --> 00:23:16,264
You were a fan of the show?
518
00:23:16,307 --> 00:23:18,440
-Mm-hmm.
-You-you didn't mention that.
519
00:23:18,484 --> 00:23:21,051
It's a little bit
embarrassing, but
520
00:23:21,095 --> 00:23:24,533
I even ran my local chapter
of the Frasier Crane Fan Club.
521
00:23:25,534 --> 00:23:27,275
You were a Craniac?
522
00:23:31,671 --> 00:23:35,196
Watching you lift up
and educate your viewers--
523
00:23:35,239 --> 00:23:37,633
that's why I decided
to get my PhD.
524
00:23:38,678 --> 00:23:40,767
So, my show
actually inspired you,
525
00:23:40,810 --> 00:23:42,246
despite all
the meaningless fluff?
526
00:23:42,290 --> 00:23:45,119
[chuckles] Because
of the meaningless fluff.
527
00:23:45,162 --> 00:23:47,469
Well, that's what pulled me in
at first, anyway.
528
00:23:47,513 --> 00:23:50,472
Thank God, because otherwise,
who knows where I would be?
529
00:23:50,516 --> 00:23:52,909
Probably a head of department
530
00:23:52,953 --> 00:23:55,999
at some backwater
community college.
531
00:23:56,043 --> 00:23:57,697
Cornell.
532
00:24:01,918 --> 00:24:04,704
You know, maybe there's
nothing wrong
533
00:24:04,747 --> 00:24:08,142
with a little razzle-dazzle.
534
00:24:08,185 --> 00:24:10,361
Just take that old
negative self-talk and...
535
00:24:10,405 --> 00:24:11,624
hiyah!
536
00:24:14,322 --> 00:24:16,150
Thank you.
537
00:24:16,193 --> 00:24:17,847
Thank you both.
538
00:24:17,891 --> 00:24:19,153
Mostly Olivia.
539
00:24:22,548 --> 00:24:25,638
This thinking cap of yours--
didn't I see it in your office
540
00:24:25,681 --> 00:24:27,509
with a price tag on it
last week?
541
00:24:27,553 --> 00:24:29,729
Oh, I may have embellished
542
00:24:29,772 --> 00:24:31,861
to get a very
sincere point across.
543
00:24:31,905 --> 00:24:34,168
-[chuckles]
-Well done.
544
00:24:34,211 --> 00:24:35,691
Oh, and, uh,
545
00:24:35,735 --> 00:24:38,085
well done also on that, uh,
546
00:24:38,128 --> 00:24:40,174
pathetic Craniac thing
you made up.
547
00:24:40,217 --> 00:24:41,871
Mm-hmm.
548
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,049
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Why were you in my office?
549
00:24:46,093 --> 00:24:49,052
Oh, looking for the cat.
By the way,
550
00:24:49,096 --> 00:24:52,926
your desktop Zen garden's
been compromised.
551
00:24:52,969 --> 00:24:54,797
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
552
00:24:58,453 --> 00:25:01,543
["Tossed Salads
and Scrambled Eggs" playing]
553
00:25:01,587 --> 00:25:03,502
FRASIER:
Y'all know how this goes.
554
00:25:05,460 --> 00:25:07,114
♪ Hey, baby,
I hear the blues a-callin'♪
555
00:25:07,157 --> 00:25:10,596
♪ Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs♪
556
00:25:12,336 --> 00:25:14,861
♪ And maybe I seem
a bit confused♪
557
00:25:14,904 --> 00:25:17,472
Yeah, maybe.
But I got you pegged.
558
00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:18,604
[chuckles]
559
00:25:19,692 --> 00:25:21,607
♪ But I don't know what to do♪
560
00:25:21,650 --> 00:25:25,654
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs♪
561
00:25:27,613 --> 00:25:29,789
♪ Life's callin' again.♪
562
00:25:32,008 --> 00:25:33,706
Back in Beantown.
563
00:25:33,749 --> 00:25:34,750
What is a boy to do?
41668
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