All language subtitles for cheers.8x01.the_improbable_dream_part1.dvdrip_xvid-fov

(male narrator)
cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.

gents, uh,
mind my corona with lime,
will you?

i've got to see a man
about an equine.

there goes one elegant guy.

yeah. nothing says class

like a chunk of fruit
floating in your beer, huh?

oh, come on, norm.
it's, uh, yuppie nouveau

to, uh, have a little fruit
floating in your beer.

call me
old-fashioned, cliff,

but the only thing
i like floatin' in beer

is my liver.

you know,
it's quite remarkable.

to float somethin' as heavy
as a wedge of lime,

beer must have, uh,
quite a high buoyancy factor.

so do your loafers.

you think, uh, an olive
could float in beer?

yeah, only one way
to find out, my friend.

well, guess it doesn't.

but, you know, i think
maybe an orange rind,

being of
the citrus family,

and a close cousin
of the lime,

just might float.

ah! your hypothesis
has been proven correct,
dr. peterson.

thank you very much,
nurse clavin.

i always wondered
if a lit match
would float in beer.

you always, uh,
wondered that,
huh, wood?

all right, woodrow.

[cliff exclaims]

not only does it float,
it smells like heaven.

i got one.
how about his car keys?

(norm)
oh, good.

here he comes.

ah, now i've room enough
for you, my friend.

[people chattering]

boy, that lime
really adds something.

making your way
in the world today

takes everything
you've got

taking a break
from all your worries

sure would help a lot

wouldn't you like
to get away

sometimes you want to go

where everybody
knows your name

and they're always
glad you came

you wanna be
where you can see

our troubles
are all the same

you wanna be
where everybody
knows your name

you wanna go
where people know

people are all the same

you wanna go
where everybody
knows your name

so, this is
your apartment, huh?

yes, sam,
you've been here before.

yeah, but never after
our first date.

you gonna invite me in?

i don't know,
should i?

i don't know,
should you?

you're askin'
the wrong person.

i haven't had a date here
since 1986.

i definitely think
you should invite me in.

all right, come in.
but it's just for
a cup of coffee.

ok.

you know,
i'm still amazed

that you agreed
to go out with me.

what was it
that broke you down?

my charm, my hot looks,

pity?

that last thing.

[exclaims]

my coffee maker's
on the blink.
is, uh, instant ok?

sure, sure.

ok if i turn on the radio?

sure.

(man on radio)
are your lips cracked,
dry, and bleeding?

do you have scaly,
red patches in your facial--

put your head
on my shoulder

whisper in my ear

you know, i was...

[groans]

baby

[exclaims]

i'm all out of instant.

i don't suppose
you'd be in the mood
for a little hot tang.

why don't we, uh...

why don't we just skip
the beverage part

and maybe dance?

sam.

oh, come on.

dancing's permitted
on the first date.

all right,
but just dancing.

ok.

whisper in my ear baby

words i long to hear baby

[groans]

are we still
just dancing?

yes, ma'am.

magic song, huh?

mmm-hmm.

i'm glad it's not
the righteous brothers.

i never did stand
a chance against them.

you never close your eyes

[chuckling]
any more when i kiss

did you plan that?

oh, right, right. i made
a lot of tips this week,

and went out and bought
a radio station.

w.s.a.m.

[exclaiming]

are we still
just dancing?

in most countries,
yes.

why is your neck
so hot?

because somebody's
breathing on it.

[moans]

you know, it's been so long,
i thought i'd forgotten.

i guess it's kind of like
riding a bicycle.

if you think it's like
riding a bicycle,
it has been a long time.

you've lost
that lovin' feelin'

now it's gone, gone, gone

oh, sam,

don't.

stop it.

ok.

i said,"don't stop."

[rebecca moaning]

and you're starting to

criticize everything i do

look at you.

it makes me
just feel like cryin'

[exclaims]

[both laughing]

something beautiful's
dyin'

you've lost
that lovin' feelin'

oh, that lovin' feelin'

you've lost
that lovin' feelin'

now it's gone, gone, gone

(rebecca)
oh, sam, yes, yes.

yes!

no!

oh, thank god.

it was just a dream.

it's just a dream,
beck-beck.

it's just a dream.

good morning, boss.

you shut your fat face
right now.

i was just gonna tell you,

if you want me,
i'm out fixing the window.

i don't want you,
i don't want you at all.

oh, somebody got up
on the wrong side of bed.

don't you use
the word "bed" with me.

i forbid you to use
the word "bed."

sorry.

you make me sick.

last time i buy aftershave
at a gas station.

[door shuts]

carla, come here.

does this
make you sick?

yeah.

but only 'cause you waited
till after i was married
to do it.

does my aftershave
make you sick?

oh. yeah.

w-well, somebody should
have said something.

frasier, don't use
your gold card.

i exceeded the limit
this morning buying
biodegradable diapers.

they're not cheap,
they're not pretty,

but they'll disintegrate
within 50 years.

she loves her earth.

and look at these
marvelous toys i bought today.

oh, our child
will love these.

i'm sure he can't
wait to be born.

monochromatic,
high contrast.

what,
they run out of colors?

oh, no, woody, you see,
tests have proven

that simple black and white
geometric designs

stimulate the young infant's
mind to a remarkable degree.

oh, i don't know,
i was raised on
pink and blue,

and look
how i turned out.

in your face, doc.

the evidence at hand
notwithstanding,

current child development
experts agree

that infants respond
with great excitement

to toys like these.
mmm-hmm.

whoo, yeah. they say,

"whoo, this stuff
cost a fortune.
my parents must be rich."

well, come, lilith.
we're off to lunch.

besides, the boys here
have to get back to

that mind-expanding
and all-important,

tastes great-less filling
debate.

yeah, so where--where
did we end up?

well, i think it was,
uh, tastes great.

no, it was less filling.

no, tastes great.

less filling.
tastes great.

oh, frasier, lilith,
excuse me.

i know you're probably
on your way somewhere,

yes, we are.
but when aren't we?

it's just that i just have
this really bad problem.

it's getting so bad that
i can't even sleep at night.

well, i'm sorry, rebecca.
we do have
this important lunch.

you see, i've been having
these erotic dreams.

well, lunch be damned.
our friend is in need.

what about
russell and pam?

oh, hang russell and pam.

they just want to weasel some
free psychological advice
out of us anyway.

so, rebecca,
go on about your dreams.

well, i guess you could say
that the main problem

is that this guy,
who's...

oh, i don't know, i guess
you could say he's starring

in these dreams,

is somebody that i definitely
should not be dreaming about.

ah.

because even though he's a
sexy and successful doctor,

he's also happily married
and about to be a father.

there is no fruit so sweet
as that which is forbidden.

frasier, stop before you
embarrass yourself further.

what?

darling,
you're the love of my life,

but even i don't have
erotic dreams about you.

so who is it? mel gibson?
harrison ford?

that young man with
the wavy brown hair
and the leg muscles,

who comes in here
all sweated up after bowling,

and has nodded hello
to me twice?

it's sam.

sam malone?

can you believe it?

(rebecca)
he is the last person

i would want
to see in my dreams.

i mean, i play
donald trump's board game,

i watch ted turner's network,

i just finished
robin colcord's new book,

and somehow, in my dreams,

i end up dancing on my back
with sam malone.

perhaps, sam represents
someone else,

someone you fear craving
even more.

frasier, it's not you.
get over it.

take a joke.

just please tell me
that it's not sam malone
in my dreams,

so i don't have to take a bath
with my electric toaster.

well, rebecca,
there are those
who believe that

dream imagery
is basically symbolic.

uh, if you subscribe
to that theory,

sam could signify
any number of things.

could be a need for you
to get back in touch
with your inner self.

could be, uh,
spiritual awakening.

could be you and your god.
it's sam.

it's sam.
it's sam.

oh, god,
some evil, disgusting,
perverted little part of me

is attracted to sam.

i'm gonna kill him.
now, rebecca,

it's not his fault.

sam doesn't know
what your dreams are.

you're right,
and he can never know.

because if it ever, ever
got out

that i have been having
sex dreams all week about sam,

i could never, ever show
my face in this bar again.

well, fear not.

you have confided
in professionals.

your trust is sacred.

thank you.

[laughing]

[coughing]

whoa! hands up in the air.

you ok?

[laughing]

what's so funny?

i'm sorry, uh.

i can't tell you.
it's--it's--it's...

this is not something
that a man can tell a woman.

this is something that

a man can only tell
a whole crowd of people.

hey, guys!

hey, you nimrods,
trash flash!

(carla)
step into mr. malone's office

and assume the trash position.

what's up?

[laughing]

well, it appears that
our lovely miss rebecca

has been having
x-rated dreams about
a certain young man

that we all know and admire.

[all chuckling]

the guy with
the wavy brown hair

who comes in here
all sweaty after bowling?

no, woody, me.

thought you said
he was young.

hey, how'd you
find out, sammy?

well, i accidentally
overheard rebecca telling
frasier and lilith.

[all exclaiming]

shrinks get
all the great scam, huh?

you ought to get an earful
of a mailman's day, pal.

yeah, i do, cliff.

now, fellas,

big question is how to

make use of
this information.

he's gonna make use
of this information.

i got a suggestion.

shoot.

now, if i were rebecca,

i guarantee
this would work.

somehow, you get me
to go to sleep.

go on, go on.
all right.

now you sneak
into the room,

wait until
i'm dreamin' about you.

you gonna know when that is
because of all the moanin'
and rollin' around.

"moaning," "rolling,"
good, good.

when i'm just at
my most receptive,

if you get my drift,
mmm-hmm.

you lay a kiss on me
that'll melt diamonds.

i wake up, but i think
i'm still dreaming,

so i don't resist.

and then we make
hot and sloppy
till the cops arrive.

carla,
you're a genius.

rebecca's gonna go
for this in a big way.

the hell with rebecca.
it was my idea!

i'm gonna go get some stuff
to help her go to sleep.

uh, woody, cover for me,
will you?
you got it, sam.

woody, would you
cover for me, too?

where are you going?
home.

i just remembered,
i left something turned on.

what?
me.

[whispering]
where's rebecca?

she's in the office.

(norm)
wait a second.

you're not gonna put
the moves on her
here in the bar, are you?

well, i figured if i,
uh, try it here

and something goes wrong,

i'll just be embarrassed
in front of you guys.

but if i sneak
into her apartment
and something goes wrong,

i'll be embarrassed
in the back of a squad car.

let's, uh, pour this
into a saucepan,

and put a little
low flame under it.

uh, you're not going to try to
put her to sleep with
a warm cup of milk, are you?

excuse me, cliff,
but have you slept with
over 1,000 women?

put a low flame
under it, woody.

(cliff)
stop just before
it makes a skin.

ok, one more thing here,

what do you think
is going to make her
go to sleep faster?

"brahms' lullaby"

or "the sounds
of spring showers
in a rain forest"?

you know, sammy,

that question has
plagued mankind since
the beginning of time.

how to lure to our bed
the elusive morpheus,

son of hypnos,

known to the sandal-wearers
of rome as somnus.

you really want to
put her to sleep, sam,
record him.

uh, rebecca,

could i, uh, speak to you
for a second?

listen, i know i upset you
in the office this morning.
no, no, no.

it's me who should
be apologizing. i'm sorry.

i, um, was going
through something

that was
sort of personal,

but i--i really shouldn't have
taken it out on you.

oh, no. that's ok, honey.

sit down here.

[rain pattering]

[sighs]

you know, you're probably
just a little off

because you're so tired,

so very,

very tired.

is it raining outside?

i hope i remembered
to put the windows up
on my car.

oh, i'm sure you did.

very, very sure.

why are you
talking so slowly?

seem like i'm talking slowly?

it's probably just
because you're so

very, very tired.

you're right. i am tired.

i haven't slept well
all week.

no kidding. well, why don't
you go take a nap?

no, i can't do that.
there's too much work
out here.

oh, what the hell.
you guys do all the work
around here anyway.

carla, will you take
my calls?

i'm gonna take
a short nap.

[exclaims]

sammy the sandman
strikes again.

did you see that?

fellas?

sam, i think you'd better
take that tape with you.

it's put everyone to sleep
except woody and me.

[snoring]

oh, good golly!

woody sleeps
with his eyes open.

yeah.

that is scary.

but it does
explain a lot.

rebecca.

mmm.

rebecca, this is
your recurring dream.

how does it
start again?

[grunts]

what are you
doing in here?

i'm not here.
i'm in your dream.

go back to sleep.
go back to sleep.

you know. you know.

how do you know
about my dream?

what dream? i--

oh, man, i hate you.
i hate you.

you didn't tell
your stupid friends
about this, did you?

oh, please,
give me some credit,
will you?

you told them!

i hate you for knowing!

i hate you for
telling your friends!

i hate you for
being in my dreams!

i hate my dreams!

i hate myself for
dreaming my dreams!

all right, then smack yourself
for a while!

[sobbing]

god!

i don't believe this.

look at what
i'm dreaming about!

a bartender

in an off-the-rack shirt,
with a button missing.

it's not missing.

i always keep it unbuttoned
so i can scratch my stomach.

oh, god!

god!

you know,
i--i used to dream about

being swept away
by some rich,

powerful, successful man.

and now, even in my dreams,

i'm settling for
a stomach scratcher.

hey, rich people scratch.

[sighs]

don't you understand
what i'm trying to say?

i was taught to win,

to strive, to achieve.

i was taught to
never, ever settle.

sweetheart,

how do you explain
working in this bar

for the last 3 years?

has it been that long?

i'm sorry, i'm sorry.
that was a low blow.

i know settling stinks,

but there are a lot of things
that are worse,

like never taking a chance,

always waiting for
something better
to come along.

what if something
doesn't come?

it will.

sweetheart,
when was the last time

you had a close relationship
with a man?

well, what do you
mean by close?

close.

oh, yeah, like, if you mean,
like, close, close, close,

well, that would've been

just right before
i started working here.

3 years ago.

has it been that long?

oh, god, sam,
maybe you're right.

maybe my dreams are right.

i mean, what the hell,

i mean, it's not like
the donald trumps

and robin colcords
of the world

are exactly beating down
my door.

[sighs]

all right, sam,

i'm going to do it.

i'm going to
take the plunge.

you and i are going
to take a shot at it.

all right.

ok.

what do you say, i, uh,

pick you up around 8:00?

pick me up now.

mmm.

[exclaims]

boy, i like the way
i pick you up.

so come on, tell the truth.

isn't this better than
waiting around

for some
mr. wonderful

to come walking
through the door, huh?

[knocking on door]

oh, sorry to interrupt.

i'm looking for rebecca howe.

huh?

robin colcord.

yes, as a matter of fact,
i am.

[grunts]

have i caught you
at a bad time?

no,

you caught me
just in time.