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1
00:00:15,482 --> 00:00:17,962
Oh, Felix, sorry I'm...
2
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,921
I hate to break
it to you this way,
3
00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:24,801
but the tango went
out a long time ago.
4
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:26,291
I'm bringing it back tonight.
5
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,470
Pick up your coat, hang it up.
6
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,072
We're going right out.
7
00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:30,795
Okay.
8
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:32,142
Okay?
9
00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,098
Felix, it's so good
10
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,610
to see you happy for a change.
11
00:00:34,634 --> 00:00:36,746
I'm looking forward to this
blind date tonight, I really am.
12
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:37,881
Good, good.
13
00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:39,415
Now Nancy says you and this girl
14
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:40,951
should get along great
unless you take out your wallet,
15
00:00:40,975 --> 00:00:42,585
start showing pictures
of your ex-wife and kids
16
00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:43,541
and depress everybody.
17
00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:44,809
No, no, no.
18
00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:46,456
Tonight, you're going
to see a new Felix Unger.
19
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:47,760
I'm going to be
a million laughs,
20
00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:48,914
I'll be a laugh a minute.
21
00:00:48,983 --> 00:00:50,793
I'll settle for a
chuckle an hour.
22
00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:51,928
Listen, as a
precautionary measure,
23
00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:53,196
why don't you leave
your wallet at home.
24
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,198
But I have to pay for
dinner. No, I'm so happy
25
00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,433
that you're happy and not
moping around, dinner's on me.
26
00:00:57,457 --> 00:00:58,868
No, no. Yeah. Yeah. No. Okay.
27
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,170
All right, I'll
shower and shave.
28
00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:01,471
I'll be with you in ten minutes.
29
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:02,627
Let's go get 'em, tiger.
30
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,307
We don't want to
keep them waiting.
31
00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:05,730
I'm not going.
32
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:07,832
What did you say?
33
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,269
I said I'm not going.
34
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:12,037
That's what I thought you said.
35
00:01:12,105 --> 00:01:14,217
Called my date and
told her I can't make it.
36
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:15,618
I knew I shouldn't have spent
37
00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:16,953
so much time in the shower.
38
00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:19,089
Felix, ten minutes ago,
you told me you were
39
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:20,412
going to be a ball of fire.
40
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,192
What happened to
Mr. Laugh-a-minute
41
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:23,260
and the dancing fool?
42
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:25,216
They've all left.
43
00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:27,185
Where'd they go?
44
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,654
On the radio, one of the songs
they happened to be playing
45
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,323
was "Just One More Chance."
46
00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:32,290
So?
47
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:34,693
That was our song...
Gloria's and mine.
48
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:36,094
And I remembered
49
00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:38,831
that our anniversary is
the day after tomorrow.
50
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:41,767
Okay, Felix, this is it!
51
00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:43,569
I've had it.
52
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:44,870
No matter what you say
53
00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:46,950
or what you do, when I
get back from my date,
54
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:49,508
I'm going to fix it so you
go back with your ex-wife!
55
00:01:57,284 --> 00:02:00,451
On November 13, Felix Unger
was asked to remove himself
56
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:02,153
from his place of residence.
57
00:02:02,222 --> 00:02:05,623
That request came from his wife.
58
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:07,759
Deep down, he
knew she was right,
59
00:02:07,827 --> 00:02:10,929
but he also knew that
someday he would return to her.
60
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:13,265
With nowhere else to go,
61
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:16,434
he appeared at the home of his
childhood friend, Oscar Madison.
62
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:19,337
Sometime earlier, Madison's
wife had thrown him out
63
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,639
requesting that he never return.
64
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:24,176
Can two divorced
men share an apartment
65
00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:26,411
without driving
each other crazy?
66
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:23,568
Okay, everybody up, here we go.
67
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:25,704
What! Oh! What!
68
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:27,071
Oh, what's going on?
69
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,273
You're scaring me to death, why?
70
00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:30,753
That's nothing compared
to what you did to me.
71
00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:31,710
Come on, I want to talk to you.
72
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:32,778
Where are my slippers?
73
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,156
You don't need your slippers.
74
00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:34,846
You washed the rugs
this morning, remember?
75
00:03:34,914 --> 00:03:35,847
What's the matter?
76
00:03:35,915 --> 00:03:36,848
First you broke the date
77
00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:37,849
with Nancy's friend, didn't you?
78
00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:38,850
I called her.
79
00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:39,918
Sure, you called her,
80
00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:41,164
20 minutes before
you were supposed
81
00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:42,198
to pick her up, you called.
82
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,222
Nancy felt so guilty,
83
00:03:43,256 --> 00:03:44,522
I got stuck with two dates!
84
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:45,969
Oh, that's awkward, isn't it?
85
00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:48,004
Yes, it's awkward, since they
both wanted to go dancing.
86
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:49,268
Come on, I want to talk to you.
87
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,965
Felix, haven't you
ever done anything...
88
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:54,700
silly-romantic,
89
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:55,879
like, uh... send her a ring
90
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,146
from a box of popcorn, say, huh?
91
00:03:57,170 --> 00:04:00,338
Why would I do a messy,
sticky thing like for?
92
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,984
What's the matter, you
don't believe in saucers?
93
00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:04,542
I believe, I believe
in saucers, I forgot.
94
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,678
I gave her a beautiful present
95
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,447
on our first anniversary.
96
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:09,881
Yeah, what?
97
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,484
It was a beautiful
wristwatch with a bracelet.
98
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:14,353
On the bracelet
was a little bear
99
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,621
holding a jar of honey.
100
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,222
I thought that was romantic.
101
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:18,368
Why, was it symbolic?
102
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:20,325
Yeah...
103
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:21,926
She used to call
me her honey bear.
104
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:24,696
That was before she
started calling me Mr. Clean.
105
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:25,997
Want sugar?
106
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:28,478
Sure, but I didn't
even want the cocoa.
107
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:31,314
Felix, I got important
things to talk to you about.
108
00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:34,350
Tell me something, about
the watch... did she like it?
109
00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:38,076
Did she like it... She
never even wore it.
110
00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:40,845
She hated the engraving
I had put on the back.
111
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:42,213
It simply said:
112
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,648
"To Gloria, a good sport."
113
00:04:43,716 --> 00:04:46,217
You know what
surprises me, Felix?
114
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,498
That she didn't
kick you out sooner.
115
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,689
To be a good sport
is very important.
116
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:53,202
Yeah, if you're dating
a female shot-putter.
117
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:54,470
No, no, no, look, I
got an idea, Felix.
118
00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:55,774
I got an idea.
119
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:58,041
Look, you get the
watch back from Gloria,
120
00:04:58,065 --> 00:04:59,776
without her knowing about it.
121
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,578
Then you invite Gloria over to
one of your sumptuous dinners.
122
00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:04,748
Candlelight, champagne,
all the good food.
123
00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:06,783
Then you give her the watch.
124
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:07,951
You don't think she'd catch on?
125
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,174
To what?
126
00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:11,309
That I'm giving her a
watch I already gave her?
127
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:12,277
She's not a dummy, you know.
128
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:13,845
She may have memory lapses...
129
00:05:13,913 --> 00:05:16,326
Will you listen to me, Felix,
when you get the watch back
130
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:18,260
you put a romantic
engraving on it.
131
00:05:18,284 --> 00:05:20,719
"To a good sport" is nice.
132
00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:23,688
Nice, nice doesn't get
you back with Gloria, nice.
133
00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:26,124
I mean a really
romantic engraving like:
134
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:29,027
"Love me truly,
you're my everything."
135
00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:31,463
Or "'Just One More Chance'!"
136
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:33,898
The song, that's perfect!
137
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:35,166
That is a superb idea!
138
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:37,736
How will I ever
get the watch back?
139
00:05:37,804 --> 00:05:39,404
Break in.
140
00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:41,873
I could never do
a thing like that.
141
00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:43,575
You still have a key?
142
00:05:43,643 --> 00:05:45,343
No, no, she changed the lock.
143
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:48,012
I used to go in and
rearrange the furniture.
144
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,113
Consuela!
145
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,826
Who's Consuela?
Consuela, the maid...
146
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:51,749
She's crazy about me.
147
00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:52,717
I used to clean up after her.
148
00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:53,718
She'll get me the watch.
149
00:05:53,786 --> 00:05:55,587
Hey, you're all set.
150
00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:57,801
I'll have a friend of mine
engrave it to avoid any delay.
151
00:05:57,825 --> 00:05:59,902
You're set up, all you
have to do is call Gloria...
152
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,793
Now, at this hour of night?
153
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,807
It's so late. It's
more romantic.
154
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:05,442
No, no, no...
What's your number?
155
00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:06,732
No, no, no, 724-7069.
156
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:07,800
I don't like this.
157
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,368
I'm getting a sinus attack.
158
00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:11,648
Well, don't worry,
you'll be fine, here.
159
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,883
No, no... Take the
phone, will you?
160
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,319
Give me that...
161
00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:18,903
Hello, Gloria? This is Oscar.
162
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:21,290
Yeah, I know it sounded
like an obscene phone call.
163
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,892
Don't mention my
sinuses, she hates that.
164
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:24,728
Yeah, it was Felix,
he had a sinus attack.
165
00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:25,895
Oh, he's fine now.
166
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,230
I'm not fine, I'm
a nervous wreck.
167
00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:28,698
Listen, he told
me, well, he told me
168
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:29,999
your anniversary was coming up
169
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,835
and he'd like to invite
you over for dinner.
170
00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:32,859
Next month.
171
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,192
Friday.
172
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,239
Yeah, you could?
Hey, that's marvelous.
173
00:06:36,263 --> 00:06:37,763
I don't have a menu planned.
174
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,075
He's got a great menu planned
175
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,343
around everything you like.
176
00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:41,778
He remembered all your goodies.
177
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:42,979
Hey, that's marvelous.
178
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,514
He'd like to have
you come about...
179
00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:46,137
What time?
180
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:47,250
Seven, 7:00, okay.
181
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:48,752
No, erase that, erase that.
182
00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:50,186
Seven, eight, 8:00, okay.
183
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:51,543
No, erase that one, too.
184
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,390
That's seven, seven and a half.
185
00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:55,492
He'd like you at...
seven and a half?
186
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:56,882
7:30, 7:30, 7:30.
187
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,417
Oh, that's marvelous.
188
00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:00,497
It's great talking to
you, Gloria. Good.
189
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:02,353
You did it, buddy!
190
00:07:02,423 --> 00:07:04,355
She didn't even ask
time to think it over.
191
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:05,857
She still likes you.
192
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:06,926
Maybe she's half asleep.
193
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:08,433
She's not coherent
when she's sleepy.
194
00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:10,796
She once invited a
wrong number to dinner.
195
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:12,776
I'm telling you, she heard me.
196
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:13,810
She still likes you.
197
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,044
You're on your way.
198
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:15,934
All you need is a
good night's sleep.
199
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:17,113
I'll never be able to sleep.
200
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,637
I've got a million
things on my mind.
201
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:19,805
I've got to plan my menu.
202
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:21,117
I've got to get the
watch from Consuela...
203
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,585
You do all that, I'm
going to go to bed.
204
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,086
Good night. Oscar?
205
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,043
Yeah.
206
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,144
Thanks.
207
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:32,884
Consuela... donde el
wristwatch de la senora Unger...
208
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,534
Oscar! Oscar!
209
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:50,535
What, what?
210
00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:51,536
I got it!
211
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:52,537
What?
212
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:53,538
I got it. Look, look.
213
00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:55,974
Isn't that a beauty?
214
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:57,676
See the little bear
and the jar of honey?
215
00:07:57,744 --> 00:07:59,177
See it?
216
00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:00,890
It looks like a little
puppy with a bone.
217
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:02,391
Aw, come on,
isn't that beautiful?
218
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:03,815
Oh, yeah, it's beautiful.
219
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:04,884
Look at that.
220
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:07,051
Oh, Consuela was
so glad to see me.
221
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,120
She even let me take
a spot out of the carpet.
222
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,533
That's great, that's great.
223
00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:11,634
Come on, don't go back to sleep.
224
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,024
You promised to
have it engraved.
225
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,938
Felix, I want to sleep an
extra hour this morning.
226
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:16,272
I'll drop it off on
my way to work.
227
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:17,440
Let me sleep.
228
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:18,597
You promise?
229
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:26,872
Oscar?
230
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,340
Would it be too much to
have it cleaned as well?
231
00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:31,376
No, no, it's not too much.
232
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:32,744
Go back to sleep.
233
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:35,113
Where will I leave it?
234
00:08:41,588 --> 00:08:43,287
Oscar?
235
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,490
I put it right here
by your phone.
236
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:46,625
Go back to sleep.
237
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,292
You've got another hour.
238
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:00,483
You did remember
to leave the watch
239
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:01,684
with the jeweler this
morning, didn't you?
240
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,653
Of course I did.
241
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:04,709
It's been three hours.
242
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,310
Do you think he'll
have it ready?
243
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,180
When Louie says he'll
deliver, he delivers.
244
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,318
Louie?
245
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:16,288
Louie?
246
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:17,566
Must be in the back.
247
00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,369
This doesn't look like
much of a jewelry store.
248
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:20,703
Well, what did you expect...
249
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,005
Breakfast at Tiffany's?
250
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:25,630
I wouldn't even chew
gum in a place like this.
251
00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:27,299
Not in the back.
252
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:28,577
Well, this is a disgrace.
253
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:30,079
Leaving a place
like this unattended.
254
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,136
Any bum on the street
255
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:32,703
could come in and
clean everything...
256
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:33,538
Louie!
257
00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:34,973
He's been robbed.
258
00:09:36,442 --> 00:09:38,876
Oh, my... did they
take my watch?
259
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:41,457
Doesn't he speak English?
260
00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:44,248
Felix, he's got a gag
around his mouth.
261
00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:47,330
Did they take my watch?
262
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:48,364
They took everybody's watch.
263
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:49,432
Oh, my, oh, my.
264
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:50,599
The little one with the bear?
265
00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:53,624
I didn't have
anything like that.
266
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:56,094
Oscar, he says he didn't
have anything like that.
267
00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:58,396
Yes, you did, Louie,
the one I gave you.
268
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,810
Oh, I thought that was a rabbit.
269
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,845
I wondered why he
had that jar of honey.
270
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,814
It was so small,
maybe they missed it.
271
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:07,605
Look, pal, they cleaned
me out, everything:
272
00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:08,851
All the rings, all the watches,
273
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,586
all the bracelets, everything!
274
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,088
What did they look like?
275
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,324
Who knows? They had nylon
stockings over their faces.
276
00:10:14,348 --> 00:10:15,425
Aha! What size?
277
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,148
What difference does that make?
278
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:18,516
Clues.
279
00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,629
Felix, will you leave the
clues to the police, please?
280
00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:22,198
I'm calling them now.
281
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:23,366
After 13 robberies,
282
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:24,834
you'd think I'd have a hotline.
283
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:27,525
13 robberies, that's terrible.
284
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:29,038
Why don't you move to
a better neighborhood?
285
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:32,129
Because, the nearest better
neighborhood is in Ohio.
286
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:52,049
♪ Just one more chance ♪
287
00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:56,287
♪ To prove it's you
alone I care for ♪
288
00:10:56,356 --> 00:11:00,591
♪ Each night I say
a little prayer for ♪
289
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:04,261
♪ Just one more chance... ♪
290
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:05,574
Leave the record alone.
291
00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:07,565
It's making you miserable.
292
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:09,334
I enjoy being miserable.
293
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:10,879
Felix, I'm sorry
about the watch,
294
00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:13,148
but you can still have a
fun evening with Gloria.
295
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:14,612
Sure, now I don't
have to worry about
296
00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:16,641
giving her the watch with
the appetizer or entree.
297
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,821
Forget the watch,
concentrate on fun.
298
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:19,944
How can I have fun
299
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:21,691
when you're dripping
crumbs on my shoulder?
300
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,914
Sit down and eat like
a normal human being.
301
00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:25,550
Oh, it's all over the couch...
302
00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:30,521
I steal a watch and
then it's stolen from me.
303
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,791
Some romantic I
turned out to be.
304
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:33,892
You tried.
305
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,292
Did Cyrano write love letters,
306
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:36,661
and then lose them?
307
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,541
Did Romeo go to
the wrong balcony?
308
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,175
If they had Oscar
Madison for a friend,
309
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:41,210
they probably would have.
310
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:42,166
It's not your fault.
311
00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:43,314
Thanks for that, Felix.
312
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:44,802
Of course, you
could have told me
313
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,337
that your friend
Louie's pawnshop
314
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:47,705
had been robbed 13 times.
315
00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:50,942
Ah... it's not your
fault, it's not your fault.
316
00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:52,588
Maybe we should
call Murray the cop.
317
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:53,811
What for, poker?
318
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,924
I'm going to call up Gloria.
319
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,080
That's what I'm going to do.
320
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:57,159
No, no, don't do that, Felix.
321
00:11:57,183 --> 00:11:57,916
Don't do that.
322
00:11:57,984 --> 00:11:59,017
No, I want to help you.
323
00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:00,262
You want to help me?
324
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:01,385
Don't help me.
325
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:02,353
What about a chance
to get even, will ya?
326
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:03,582
I want to get the watch back.
327
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:04,867
How? It was stolen
by common thieves.
328
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:05,891
I'm going to do something
329
00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:08,325
I never thought I would
do before... What?
330
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:10,394
Get involved with
common thieves.
331
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,047
Why are we going
to a flower shop?
332
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,049
Because the florist
is my main contact.
333
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:21,973
He's one of the boys.
334
00:12:22,041 --> 00:12:23,273
What boys?
335
00:12:23,342 --> 00:12:25,187
The boys your mother
wouldn't let you play with...
336
00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:26,377
grown up.
337
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,526
Only you would
know a thug florist.
338
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:33,384
Watch what you say,
this guy is very dangerous.
339
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,664
I'll be right with you, boys,
soon as I put these things away.
340
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:36,887
Okay, Wally.
341
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:39,235
How could a nice florist
like that be dangerous?
342
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,625
Are you kidding?
343
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,893
They say his father made
the flower arrangements
344
00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:45,130
for the St. Valentine's
Day Massacre...
345
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:46,664
Hiya, Wally, how are you?
346
00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:48,244
I'd like you to meet a
friend of mine, Felix Unger.
347
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,445
How do you do?
348
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,068
Oscar, nice to see you.
349
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:52,069
Did your father
really make the...
350
00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:53,605
Felix!
351
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:55,540
Wally, listen, I want to ask you
352
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:57,542
a special kind of a thing, see.
353
00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:58,709
Sure...
354
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,045
Um... how about
a lovely, lovely...
355
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:03,959
My friend's allergic to flowers.
356
00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:05,027
Only certain flowers.
357
00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:07,551
Does he like artificial flowers?
358
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,020
He thinks they're gauche.
359
00:13:09,088 --> 00:13:11,267
All right, I'll take
an antihistamine.
360
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:14,025
Wally, I need a favor
from your other line of work.
361
00:13:14,093 --> 00:13:16,760
Louie's pawnshop was
robbed this afternoon.
362
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:17,830
Again?
363
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:18,963
Yeah.
364
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,075
I need some water.
365
00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:21,365
Here.
366
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,112
And my friend had
something taken out of it.
367
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:24,368
He has to get it back.
368
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:25,981
You got enough?
369
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:27,438
Yes.
370
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:28,706
Well, I don't know, Oscar.
371
00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:30,975
You'll find most of
your serious thieves
372
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,844
are reticent to
give things back.
373
00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:35,613
You see, they go to all
the trouble of stealing.
374
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:36,993
Oh, come on, Wally,
give me a break, will ya?
375
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:39,350
I give you good tips
at the races, don't I?
376
00:13:39,418 --> 00:13:41,653
Well, yes, and you
always say such nice things
377
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,988
about my flowers on
the winning horses.
378
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,089
Are you kidding?
379
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,457
Horses win races
380
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:48,860
just so they can wear
your wreaths of flowers.
381
00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:50,327
You're lying, but I love it.
382
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:51,829
Yes, yes, I have some contacts.
383
00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:53,442
Good, good, listen,
give me a couple, will ya?
384
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:57,935
Oscar, when one writes things
down, other ones can read them.
385
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:58,936
One is sorry.
386
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,104
I lost my head.
387
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,273
You almost did.
388
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:06,725
Yes, I think Bill Green
389
00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:08,224
might know who
pulled this heist.
390
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:09,447
That's his neighborhood.
391
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:11,127
He likes it because
it's near the dog pound.
392
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:12,784
The dog pound?
393
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,653
Yes, he's crazy for
dogs... Dogs and money.
394
00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:16,999
We have to have the watch
395
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,234
in two or three hours.
396
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:20,457
Everybody's in a
rush except flowers.
397
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:21,793
I'll do my best, hmm?
398
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,939
Thank you...
thanks for the water.
399
00:14:23,963 --> 00:14:25,630
That's a very cute cup.
400
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,576
Ah, thank you, yes,
I had that made.
401
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:28,733
Really? Where?
402
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:30,213
I have a cup maker
on Third Avenue.
403
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:31,336
Oh, will you stop that?
404
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:32,670
Thanks, Wally.
405
00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:56,160
Are you in the right apartment?
406
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,529
I must be in the
wrong apartment.
407
00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:00,031
You're Unger, right?
408
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:00,864
You know me?
409
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:02,266
I already met Madison.
410
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:03,600
You did?
411
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:05,202
Oscar, are you all right?
412
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:07,271
Oh, I see you two have met.
413
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,340
Bill Green, this is Felix Unger.
414
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,508
You remember, Wally said
he was gonna send over
415
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:12,944
a nice guy for us to meet.
416
00:15:13,012 --> 00:15:14,589
Oh, how good of you to come
417
00:15:14,613 --> 00:15:15,946
on such short notice.
418
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,986
Cigar?
419
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:24,822
What about it?
420
00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:27,191
I, uh...
421
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,780
think it's gone out, that's all.
422
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:33,697
No, it hasn't.
423
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,200
I guess, I'm wrong.
424
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,735
Let's get down to business.
425
00:15:37,803 --> 00:15:39,648
Okay, I know who
took your watch.
426
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:40,749
You do?
427
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:41,905
He does.
428
00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:43,752
Oh, that's great...
Give me his number
429
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,154
and I'll call him.
430
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:48,179
Your friend hasn't been
around too long, has he?
431
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:49,780
Felix, I'm afraid
it's not that simple.
432
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:50,993
Why not?
433
00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:52,516
I'm a businessman, Unger!
434
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:55,019
Listen, people lose
things, I find them.
435
00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:56,287
They pay me for them.
436
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:57,455
That's capitalism!
437
00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:58,767
I dig.
438
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,936
I'll bet you want a
reward, don't you?
439
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,272
I'm going to give it
to you... in advance.
440
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,162
Small bills, please.
441
00:16:05,231 --> 00:16:06,308
Five fives small enough?
442
00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:07,932
Yeah.
443
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:15,139
Where's... where's the zeros?
444
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:16,307
Zeros?
445
00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:17,708
Zeros!
446
00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:20,089
$25 pays for a couple
minutes of my time.
447
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:23,081
You want the watch,
it'll cost you $2,500.
448
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,328
The whole watch
didn't cost $2,500.
449
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:26,417
Now, wait a minute.
450
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:27,986
Look, he doesn't
have much money.
451
00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:29,054
Give him a break.
452
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:30,654
Give him a break?
453
00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:32,435
Oh, that's great,
give him a break.
454
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:35,159
I wish somebody would
give me a break some time!
455
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,872
What, do you think
guys in my profession
456
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:37,828
ain't hit by inflation?
457
00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:39,197
You know how much money it costs
458
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:40,265
to store stolen goods?
459
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,265
Money is tight!
460
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,266
We understand that,
461
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:43,267
but this may be his last chance
462
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,268
to get back with Gloria.
463
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,371
Who's Gloria?
464
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,417
The sweetest, most
wonderful woman
465
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:49,452
who's ever lived.
466
00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:50,774
His ex-wife.
467
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,421
See, he gave her the watch
on their first anniversary.
468
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:55,091
12 years we were happy together.
469
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:57,715
12 years.
470
00:16:57,783 --> 00:17:00,885
And then one day
the whole thing... over.
471
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:02,286
I'm sorry, Unger, but...
472
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,266
You know what
that does to a man...
473
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:06,902
To lose his wife and the
home they built together?
474
00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:08,525
Tell him about your dog, Felix.
475
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:10,606
I wish you could've
seen my family.
476
00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:12,040
I'll show you a picture.
477
00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:13,997
Show him a picture of your dog.
478
00:17:14,066 --> 00:17:15,233
Show me the dog.
479
00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:18,383
Look at that.
480
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:25,676
Aw... aw, that's nice.
481
00:17:25,744 --> 00:17:28,545
He's got a snapshot of his dog.
482
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:30,881
I love dogs.
483
00:17:33,018 --> 00:17:35,030
Here's a picture
of my wife and kids
484
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,765
in front of the Christmas tree.
485
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,334
Isn't that a lovely family?
486
00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:39,457
And a beautiful dog.
487
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:41,392
Cute kids... What
are their names?
488
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:42,538
Leonard and Edna.
489
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:43,594
And Spot.
490
00:17:46,198 --> 00:17:48,110
That's my wife, Gloria
491
00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:51,046
and our new
wall-to-wall carpeting.
492
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,236
Where's the dog?
493
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:54,672
Felix never lets the
dog on the carpet.
494
00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:58,342
You know something?
495
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,878
I just went through a divorce.
496
00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:02,179
I sure miss my family.
497
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,281
You have a family?
498
00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:04,448
What?
499
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:05,816
Crooks can't have a family?
500
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:07,818
If you prick us,
do we not bleed?
501
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,787
If you tickle us,
do we not laugh?
502
00:18:09,855 --> 00:18:11,589
If we miss an alimony payment,
503
00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:13,624
do we not hear
from our ex-wives?
504
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:17,194
Oh, he was... Oh,
boy, was he married.
505
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,040
Sure like to get
back with my ex.
506
00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:20,709
Why don't you get back with her?
507
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,032
She's in prison.
508
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,901
All right, Unger.
509
00:18:23,969 --> 00:18:25,403
I don't know how much good
510
00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:27,138
it's going to do with your ex,
511
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:28,839
but I'll do my best
with the watch.
512
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:31,109
Well, like I said, he
doesn't have much money.
513
00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:32,843
What's the matter with you?
514
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:35,846
Money ain't everything,
even to a capitalist.
515
00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:39,850
I'll keep the five
fives for expenses.
516
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:41,797
That's very decent of you.
517
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:44,522
Just don't spread it around.
518
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:45,767
When do you think
519
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,403
I could get the watch?
520
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:48,792
I need it tonight.
521
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,473
I'll... I'll try for tonight.
522
00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:51,829
There's a little problem.
523
00:18:51,897 --> 00:18:54,431
The guy that stole it
gave it to his girlfriend.
524
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:55,699
When she hears my story,
525
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:57,712
don't you think she'll
want me to have it back?
526
00:18:57,736 --> 00:18:59,503
Yeah, I think so.
527
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:03,240
But she really likes that mouse
with the cheese, you know?
528
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,053
That's a bear
with a jar of honey.
529
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:07,344
That's what I
said, whatever it is.
530
00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:08,590
I don't know, I only know dogs.
531
00:19:08,614 --> 00:19:11,815
Listen, um... 5:00.
532
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:12,916
Yeah?
533
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,385
You be in your elevator.
534
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:15,586
Your watch will be there.
535
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:16,765
Why do you leave
it in the elevator?
536
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:17,721
Why don't you bring it up to...?
537
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,089
What am I, a delivery boy?
538
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,102
I got other things
to do to make money
539
00:19:21,126 --> 00:19:23,627
to make up for my
sentimental gestures.
540
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,429
Five fives... what is that?
541
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:28,865
Oh, another thing.
542
00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:32,536
Uh, listen.
543
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:33,870
You know, uh...
544
00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:36,407
you shouldn't keep
the dog off the carpet.
545
00:19:36,475 --> 00:19:38,075
It's discrimination.
546
00:19:38,143 --> 00:19:39,543
They sense that.
547
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:50,387
Nice.
548
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:56,493
Come on, Felix,
will you hurry up?
549
00:19:56,562 --> 00:19:57,673
Come on, come on.
550
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:58,862
Where is he? Where?
551
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,030
He's not here.
552
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:02,165
Will you take
off that stupid...?
553
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,812
What do we do, push a button?
554
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:05,135
No, don't push anything.
555
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,070
He said be here,
don't do anything.
556
00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:09,539
Why do you suppose
he's being so secretive?
557
00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:11,408
The guy who stole
it is probably hot.
558
00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:13,043
He's got to lay low for awhile.
559
00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:14,978
Just be thankful you're
getting the watch back.
560
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,080
Be cool, Felix, be cool.
561
00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:18,149
Oh...
562
00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:22,297
Where do you think we're going?
563
00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:23,920
The contact's probably waiting
564
00:20:23,989 --> 00:20:24,989
on another floor.
565
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,323
When the elevator stops,
566
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:27,625
the door's will open.
567
00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:29,693
The contact will come
in and give us the watch.
568
00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,362
Felix, will you relax?
569
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:33,630
I've never done
anything like this before.
570
00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:38,102
I don't usually hold business
meetings in elevators myself.
571
00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:56,621
This elevator's tacky and drab.
572
00:21:01,693 --> 00:21:03,338
We're not getting anywhere.
573
00:21:03,362 --> 00:21:05,107
I've got $9.34 worth
of meat up there
574
00:21:05,131 --> 00:21:06,408
that's going to be ruined.
575
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:07,632
Take it easy, will you, Felix?
576
00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:09,244
Now this may be it,
but we've got to be cool,
577
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,534
now really cool this time.
578
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:12,002
Okay?
579
00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:16,985
Do you guys live
in the building?
580
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:18,086
Yes, yes, we do.
581
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,422
Good, I have something for you.
582
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:23,080
Ooh, I told you
we'd get it, didn't I?
583
00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:26,917
Thank you. Thank you.
584
00:21:26,986 --> 00:21:28,352
That's a toothbrush.
585
00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:29,553
He's a salesman!
586
00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:30,732
I've heard of these brushes.
587
00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:31,521
These are excellent.
588
00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:32,923
Thank you!
589
00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:36,020
Hurry up, will you, Felix?
590
00:21:36,062 --> 00:21:37,494
Somebody might push the buzzer.
591
00:21:37,563 --> 00:21:39,729
I'm sorry, I'm terribly sorry
592
00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:41,131
but I had to baste.
593
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,567
Who cares about basting when
we don't have the watch yet?
594
00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:45,347
We've just been
going around in circles.
595
00:21:45,371 --> 00:21:47,371
No, we haven't, we've
been going up and down.
596
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:48,205
That's clever.
597
00:21:48,274 --> 00:21:49,384
I've counted 15 people
598
00:21:49,408 --> 00:21:50,785
who have come
into this elevator.
599
00:21:50,809 --> 00:21:52,249
The next person's
going to be Gloria.
600
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,446
Oh, boy.
601
00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:57,292
Come on, let's give up.
602
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:58,515
No, I'm not going to give up
603
00:21:58,584 --> 00:22:00,362
till we get the watch
back, I feel responsible.
604
00:22:00,386 --> 00:22:02,297
I'm taking the next
round sitting down.
605
00:22:03,689 --> 00:22:04,554
What's that?
606
00:22:04,623 --> 00:22:05,990
It's the watch.
607
00:22:06,058 --> 00:22:07,436
It's been there all the time.
608
00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:10,127
Oh, I'm going to
give your Mr. Green
609
00:22:10,196 --> 00:22:11,628
a piece of my mind.
610
00:22:11,697 --> 00:22:12,963
This is a disgrace...
611
00:22:13,032 --> 00:22:14,376
Leaving an expensive
piece of jewelry
612
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:15,299
right out here in the open
613
00:22:15,368 --> 00:22:17,167
where any bum could steal it.
614
00:22:17,236 --> 00:22:18,680
Felix, don't press your luck.
615
00:22:18,704 --> 00:22:19,982
The price was right.
616
00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:21,149
Come on, get back
to your basting.
617
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:23,207
Gloria's going...
618
00:22:23,275 --> 00:22:24,987
Felix, Do you know
why you're sneezing?
619
00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:25,942
Why?
620
00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:27,256
Because you're tense
621
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,200
and you're anxious about
your dinner with Gloria.
622
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:30,781
You see?
623
00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:31,716
Everything's gonna
turn out great.
624
00:22:31,784 --> 00:22:34,318
Oh, I hope so, I hope so.
625
00:22:34,387 --> 00:22:36,565
Don't forget to use
your nasal spray.
626
00:22:36,589 --> 00:22:38,989
I haven't been alone
with Gloria in two years.
627
00:22:39,058 --> 00:22:40,691
I don't know what to say to her.
628
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,320
What's wrong with,
"I've missed you"?
629
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:46,330
You're a good writer. Thank you.
630
00:22:46,399 --> 00:22:47,798
Where are you going?
631
00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:49,345
I don't know, I figured I'd
catch a gangster movie.
632
00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:50,649
Good luck.
633
00:23:16,328 --> 00:23:17,395
Felix.
634
00:23:17,463 --> 00:23:18,496
What happened?
635
00:23:19,832 --> 00:23:21,565
You know...
636
00:23:21,634 --> 00:23:23,979
I was just sitting here thinking
637
00:23:24,003 --> 00:23:26,181
all you've done on my behalf.
638
00:23:26,205 --> 00:23:27,382
You're a real friend.
639
00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:29,073
What are you talking about?
640
00:23:29,141 --> 00:23:30,874
Didn't Gloria show up?
641
00:23:30,943 --> 00:23:32,710
Oh, yes, she was right on time.
642
00:23:32,778 --> 00:23:34,377
Oh, she looked so beautiful.
643
00:23:34,446 --> 00:23:36,747
She had her hair
in a French twist.
644
00:23:36,816 --> 00:23:38,293
She had a lovely
green silk dress.
645
00:23:38,317 --> 00:23:40,028
Felix, give me
the details later.
646
00:23:40,052 --> 00:23:41,118
Now, what happened?
647
00:23:41,186 --> 00:23:42,798
No food was eaten,
what happened?
648
00:23:42,822 --> 00:23:44,866
Oh, first we had a
glass of champagne.
649
00:23:44,890 --> 00:23:46,334
Then we sat down,
it was beautiful.
650
00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:47,769
Oh, you should've
seen my soufflé
651
00:23:47,793 --> 00:23:49,204
before it fell... perfect.
652
00:23:49,228 --> 00:23:50,338
Oh, I'm sure it was
a sight to behold,
653
00:23:50,362 --> 00:23:51,562
now will you get to the point?
654
00:23:51,597 --> 00:23:54,331
Well, I thought I was
being very romantic.
655
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,344
I served the watch
along with the roast.
656
00:23:56,368 --> 00:23:58,402
She ate the watch?
657
00:23:58,471 --> 00:24:01,872
She read the inscription
and she ran out sobbing.
658
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:03,640
She was that touched.
659
00:24:03,709 --> 00:24:06,143
Your friend Louie never
had the watch engraved.
660
00:24:06,212 --> 00:24:07,389
The guy who stole it
661
00:24:07,413 --> 00:24:08,623
had it engraved
for his girlfriend.
662
00:24:08,647 --> 00:24:09,446
Read.
663
00:24:09,515 --> 00:24:12,816
"You're built like a..."
664
00:24:12,884 --> 00:24:14,251
Isn't that romantic?
665
00:24:22,161 --> 00:24:24,294
That's right, Murray,
I want you to get
666
00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:26,563
every available man
in the police force on it.
667
00:24:26,632 --> 00:24:29,199
Well, how many can you get?
668
00:24:29,268 --> 00:24:32,503
Well, then you try hard
by yourself, Murray.
669
00:24:32,571 --> 00:24:33,270
Thank you.
670
00:24:33,338 --> 00:24:34,538
What's the matter?
671
00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:35,706
I'm so aggravated.
672
00:24:35,775 --> 00:24:36,985
Why?
673
00:24:37,009 --> 00:24:38,853
Today, you told me
Gloria forgave you.
674
00:24:38,877 --> 00:24:40,622
There's a chance you
might get together again.
675
00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:42,245
That's not why I'm aggravated.
676
00:24:42,315 --> 00:24:44,225
Those underworld
friends of yours...
677
00:24:44,249 --> 00:24:45,649
They're not to be trusted.
678
00:24:45,718 --> 00:24:47,050
Of course not, they're crooks.
679
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:49,620
Bill Green with
his heart of gold.
680
00:24:49,689 --> 00:24:50,921
Nonsense.
681
00:24:50,989 --> 00:24:52,801
People want to believe
gangsters are sentimental...
682
00:24:52,825 --> 00:24:53,968
Let me tell you, they're not.
683
00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:55,604
He got you your watch back.
684
00:24:55,628 --> 00:24:58,261
Did he? I spent the whole
day having it engraved
685
00:24:58,331 --> 00:24:59,641
"Just One More
Chance," yesterday.
686
00:24:59,665 --> 00:25:01,665
I gave it to Gloria
and she loved it.
687
00:25:01,734 --> 00:25:03,645
Then, last night, burglars
broke into her house
688
00:25:03,669 --> 00:25:04,746
and stole it back again.
689
00:25:04,770 --> 00:25:06,347
How do you know
Bill Green did it?
690
00:25:06,371 --> 00:25:07,504
He left a note.
691
00:25:09,208 --> 00:25:11,575
"I fed your dog."
44828
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