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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:06,105 Hey, there's a fire. 2 00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:07,706 This joint's on fire. 3 00:00:07,774 --> 00:00:08,707 Whew! 4 00:00:08,775 --> 00:00:09,941 Hey, there's a fire. 5 00:00:14,714 --> 00:00:16,460 Run for the exit, little old lady. 6 00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:17,527 I got to save Felix. 7 00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:18,950 Oscar, go back to bed. 8 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,185 There is no fire. 9 00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:21,398 What's the matter? 10 00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:22,799 There's smoke all over the place! 11 00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:25,391 It's not smoke, it's medicated vapor for my allergies. 12 00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:27,158 I put too much oil of eucalyptus 13 00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:28,293 in my croup kettle. 14 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,996 Oh, boy... I can see the headlines now: 15 00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:33,532 "Oscar Madison dies in freak croup kettle fire." 16 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:36,001 I apologize for having allergies. 17 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,480 Why don't you go smoke a cigar 18 00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:38,581 until the smoke clears? 19 00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:40,172 Felix, it's the middle of the night. 20 00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:41,874 I got to get up early in the morning. 21 00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:42,942 I'm talking to a man 22 00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:44,409 who looked like a little old lady, 23 00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:46,711 making sounds like a dying water buffalo. 24 00:00:46,781 --> 00:00:47,980 That does it, Felix. 25 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,548 In the morning, I'm putting you up for adoption. 26 00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:52,084 How come you got an attack? 27 00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:53,085 I thought you went out 28 00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:54,194 with your ex-wife tonight. 29 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,732 I did, I went out with Gloria. 30 00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:57,522 You allergic to her now? 31 00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:59,736 Humor, that's what I need, humor. 32 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,493 I'm sorry, I lost my head. 33 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:02,672 Hey, what really happened? 34 00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:03,962 What didn't happen? 35 00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:06,209 I wanted it to be a great evening... 36 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:08,111 It was the anniversary of our first date. 37 00:01:08,135 --> 00:01:10,635 I made a reservation for the same table 38 00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,137 in the same restaurant. 39 00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:14,072 We even had the same waiter. 40 00:01:14,141 --> 00:01:17,142 Claude, he remembered me. 41 00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:19,311 No kidding, after all those years? 42 00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:23,081 When a waiter has to give a customer artificial respiration, 43 00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:24,649 he remembers him. 44 00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:26,418 He had to do it again tonight. 45 00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:28,264 Felix, you know what you're allergic to. 46 00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:29,454 Why would you eat something 47 00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,200 that's gonna give you another attack? 48 00:01:31,224 --> 00:01:32,590 I wanted to show Gloria 49 00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:34,760 I wasn't the same picky fuss-budget 50 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,561 who used to drive her crazy, 51 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:41,533 so I came on strong, casual, witty, devil-may-care 52 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:44,803 and I forgot myself and ate mayonnaise. 53 00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:46,838 I can hardly breathe. 54 00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:48,373 I'm going to call Dr. Melnitz. 55 00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,842 No, Dr. Melnitz is out of town. 56 00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:52,110 How do you know that? 57 00:01:52,179 --> 00:01:54,913 He always calls me before he leaves town. 58 00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,459 He figures it's the least he can do, 59 00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:58,160 considering all the business I give him. 60 00:01:58,184 --> 00:01:59,529 Felix, you're sick and you need a doctor. 61 00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,053 Now you get into bed. 62 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:04,356 Probably send some young punk fresh out of medical school. 63 00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:08,459 I want my doctor to be a kindly, gentle, gray-haired old man. 64 00:02:08,528 --> 00:02:10,040 In the middle of the night, 65 00:02:10,064 --> 00:02:12,624 you can't get Marcus Welby. 66 00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:16,401 Is that the doctor? 67 00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:19,204 It's either the doctor or a very polite burglar. 68 00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:21,239 I hope he's a good doctor. 69 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:23,228 Probably some gray-haired old man. 70 00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:26,322 Hello. 71 00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:27,746 I'm Dr. Cunningham. 72 00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:32,818 Is anything wrong? 73 00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:35,587 No, no, nothing's wrong. 74 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,723 Are you Mr. Unger? 75 00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:41,459 No... but it's the first time in my life 76 00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:42,529 I wish I was. 77 00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:50,702 On November 13, Felix Unger was asked to remove himself 78 00:02:50,770 --> 00:02:52,404 from his place of residence. 79 00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:55,640 That request came from his wife. 80 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,842 Deep down, he knew she was right, 81 00:02:57,911 --> 00:03:01,112 but he also knew that someday he would return to her. 82 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,181 With nowhere else to go, 83 00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:06,651 he appeared at the home of his childhood friend, Oscar Madison. 84 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,721 Sometime earlier, Madison's wife had thrown him out 85 00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,757 requesting that he never return. 86 00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:14,259 Can two divorced men share an apartment 87 00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:16,494 without driving each other crazy? 88 00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:14,185 Have I got a doctor for you! 89 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,465 Dr. Cunningham, Felix Unger. 90 00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:16,421 How do you do? 91 00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:17,956 He's a woman. 92 00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:19,736 Don't worry about that, Mr. Unger. 93 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,671 I'm here as your physician, not your date. 94 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:22,994 Open, please. 95 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:26,831 Who knew that Dr. Melnitz had a female associate? 96 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,399 I'm new in the office. 97 00:04:28,468 --> 00:04:30,313 I don't need a doctor, I'm fine. 98 00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:34,517 Felix, stop being so stubborn, will you? 99 00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:35,652 Let her examine you. 100 00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:36,987 She came here in the middle of the night. 101 00:04:37,011 --> 00:04:39,177 I think maybe it would be easier for Mr. Unger 102 00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:40,246 if you left the room. 103 00:04:40,313 --> 00:04:42,313 I'm not shy. 104 00:04:42,382 --> 00:04:44,148 I've just never been examined 105 00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,418 by a beautiful female doctor before. 106 00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:47,864 So you got lucky! 107 00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,933 I'll be in the living room if you need me. 108 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,635 Right. Under the tongue, please. 109 00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:53,358 Before you examine me, 110 00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:55,560 I want to ask you something. 111 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,741 I'm not married, is that what you wanted to find out? 112 00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:59,665 Certainly not. 113 00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:02,668 I'd never dream of asking a physician a question like that. 114 00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:05,170 Patients have their ethics too, you know. 115 00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:08,807 Oh, I think I understand what you mean now, Mr. Unger. 116 00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,153 I'm an honor graduate 117 00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:12,222 of an accredited medical school. 118 00:05:12,246 --> 00:05:15,547 I am a qualified specialist in internal medicine 119 00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:16,815 and for the last three years, 120 00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,728 I've practiced general medicine and orthopedics. 121 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:21,053 Where's the upper maxillary? 122 00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,421 Here. 123 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:23,555 Correct. 124 00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:26,063 Now may I take your temperature? 125 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,601 How is he, Doc? 126 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,048 Oh, he'll be fine in a day or so. 127 00:05:38,072 --> 00:05:39,982 I gave him something to relieve his symptoms 128 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,541 and some prescriptions he can fill in the morning. 129 00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,008 Listen, would you like some coffee? 130 00:05:44,078 --> 00:05:46,311 It's probably rotten, because I made it, but it's hot. 131 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,380 Okay. 132 00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,060 It's been a rough night 133 00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:52,128 with Dr. Melnitz unavailable 134 00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,364 and the virus all over town. 135 00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:55,753 There's cream, sugar and cookies. 136 00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:58,182 No, thanks, I take it black. 137 00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:06,098 It's really... it's really not that bad. 138 00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,466 Aw, it's probably lousy. 139 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:08,900 My specialty is sardines 140 00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:10,868 on raisin bread toast and ketchup. 141 00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:12,048 I know it's too late for that. 142 00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,272 Besides, we're out of ketchup. 143 00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:17,887 You have some very interesting pictures 144 00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:18,843 in the hallway. 145 00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:19,844 Oh, the sports room? 146 00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:21,313 Mostly baseball, hall-of-famers 147 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,581 and we have some football, 148 00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:24,282 but that's my favorite over there. 149 00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:26,017 I call it "pug corner." 150 00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:27,852 Come here, I'll show you. 151 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:28,998 It's mostly old fighters 152 00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:30,333 that nobody remembers anymore, 153 00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:31,637 but I love them. 154 00:06:37,331 --> 00:06:41,466 Gus Lesnevich... Lee Oma... 155 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,768 Stanley Ketchel... 156 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,340 Tammy Moriello and Fritzie Zivic. 157 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,008 I don't believe it. 158 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,709 You only missed one. 159 00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:53,144 Which one? 160 00:06:53,212 --> 00:06:54,880 That one. 161 00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:57,515 Al "Bummy" Davis. 162 00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:58,617 That's incredible. 163 00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:00,919 This is incredible, it is Bummy Davis. 164 00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:03,421 You weren't even born when most of these guys were fighting. 165 00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:04,722 How do you know them? 166 00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:07,892 I was a tomboy in a family of sports nuts. 167 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,839 I beat up Tiger Stakowski. 168 00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,896 He was middleweight champ. 169 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:14,732 He was four and I was six. 170 00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:19,015 Hey, I better be going, it's late. 171 00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:20,238 Oh, okay. 172 00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:21,618 Do you like hockey? 173 00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:23,453 I love it. I try to get out to see the Rangers play 174 00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:24,409 as often as I can. 175 00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:25,655 Well, I get great seats 176 00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:27,089 for all the Rangers' games. 177 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,225 See, I'm a sportswriter. 178 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,949 I know, you're a very fine sportswriter, Mr. Madison. 179 00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:33,351 I always read your column. 180 00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:34,352 You do? 181 00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:35,554 Yeah. 182 00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,567 That's very nice of you to say that. 183 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,035 Well... I was wondering... 184 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,192 I better be going. 185 00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:42,194 I have two more calls to make. 186 00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:44,582 Listen, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your coming. 187 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:45,775 It was very nice meeting you. 188 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:46,942 It was a pleasure 189 00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,145 meeting you, too, Mr. Madison. 190 00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:50,101 Good-bye. 191 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:51,670 Oh, let me get the door for you. 192 00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:53,672 Bye. 193 00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:54,740 Bye. 194 00:07:57,344 --> 00:08:01,145 Al "Bummy" Davis... How about that? 195 00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:04,048 You should have asked her to the game 196 00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:05,483 right then and there. 197 00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:07,463 You had the stage all set, but then when you got your cue, 198 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,553 you didn't say your line. 199 00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,054 You jumped into the orchestra pit. 200 00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:12,134 I got a little stage fright, Mr. DeMille. 201 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,403 It can happen, you know. 202 00:08:13,427 --> 00:08:15,371 I mean, the woman's a doctor and everything. 203 00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:17,006 She's in a different league than I am. 204 00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,630 Don't drink milk out of the bottle. 205 00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,599 If you want a glass of milk, use a glass. 206 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:21,877 It doesn't taste good out of a glass. 207 00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,145 What do you mean, you're in a different league? 208 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,536 You're a nice person. 209 00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,338 Sloppy, but you're nice. 210 00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:27,617 You must have something in common. 211 00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:28,573 We do! 212 00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:30,342 I never met anybody like her. 213 00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:33,678 Please, sit down and eat your breakfast 214 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:35,447 before it gets cold. 215 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,892 You're right, Felix, I should have asked her 216 00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:37,849 to the hockey game. 217 00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:39,150 Eat! 218 00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:40,330 Do you think it's too late to ask her now? 219 00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:41,453 You're a grown man. 220 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,599 You know the answer to your own question. 221 00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:43,821 Eat! 222 00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:44,756 Yeah, but how am I supposed to call her? 223 00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:45,757 I don't know her number. 224 00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:46,869 I don't know where she lives. 225 00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:47,970 Oh, I better forget the whole thing! 226 00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:48,893 How'd you call her last night? 227 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:49,972 I called Dr. Melnitz... 228 00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:51,429 Ah, ah, ah, ah. 229 00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:52,675 Dr. Melnitz! 230 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,198 You going to call her now? 231 00:08:54,268 --> 00:08:56,228 Eat your breakfast and call her later. 232 00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:01,506 Uh, Dr. Melnitz's office? 233 00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:04,041 I'd like to speak to Dr. Cunningham, please. 234 00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:07,646 Well, this is Oscar Madison. I know Dr. Melnitz. 235 00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,459 Well, can she come to the phone? 236 00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:10,881 It'll only take a minute. 237 00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:12,250 You like ice-cold eggs? 238 00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:13,651 Will you, Felix? 239 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,555 No, I was speaking... 3:00? 240 00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:19,491 Yeah, I guess so. 241 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,559 Okay. 242 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,664 Well? 243 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,633 The nurse misunderstood. 244 00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:31,769 She made an appointment for me at 3:00. 245 00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:33,371 So? 246 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,173 Why be unhappy? 247 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,242 Go to the office 248 00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,620 and you'll ask her to go to the game. 249 00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:38,976 At her office? 250 00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:41,205 Yes, if you're going to see a doctor, I think an office 251 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:42,580 is a very good place to see one. 252 00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:43,692 You really think I ought to go? 253 00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:44,716 How do you feel? 254 00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:45,716 Terrible. 255 00:09:45,785 --> 00:09:46,884 Go. 256 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,132 Mr. Skidacker, would you hurry up, please? 257 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,434 We have another patient waiting to get in this room. 258 00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:09,707 Remove your clothes, please, 259 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,075 put on the examination robe 260 00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:12,644 and we don't validate parking. 261 00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:14,556 Remove my clothes... Are you serious? 262 00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:15,680 Of course I'm serious. 263 00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:17,715 You don't expect the doctor to examine you 264 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,283 through the coat, do you? 265 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,063 Yeah, but see, there's really no need for an examination. 266 00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:22,498 Can you tell Dr. Cunningham to come in... 267 00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:24,133 Just for a second, it's kind of personal. 268 00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:26,223 Listen, we have sick patients outside! 269 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,459 If you're ill, the doctor will see you. 270 00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:31,062 Look... 271 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,535 I hope she has a sense of humor. 272 00:10:40,339 --> 00:10:43,207 Who put the ties in the back? 273 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:46,577 Mr. Madison is waiting in Room 23, Doctor. 274 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,348 These are for you. 275 00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:52,517 You brought me flowers? 276 00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:54,652 Dr. Melnitz, what are you doing here? 277 00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:57,788 This is my office. I'm a doctor. 278 00:10:57,858 --> 00:11:00,024 See my stethoscope? 279 00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:03,094 I wanted to talk to Dr. Cunningham. 280 00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:04,562 You know? 281 00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:07,832 Oh... All right, I'll get Nancy. 282 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:10,167 But believe me, in the middle of a flu epidemic, 283 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,370 a doctor's office is no place for sweet talk. 284 00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,705 Uh, Dr. Melnitz, this is the lab report... 285 00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:16,040 Hi. 286 00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:17,442 Well, hi, Mr. Madison. 287 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,455 Did you come down with something 288 00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:20,556 since last night? 289 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:23,380 Well, it was, um... Have a nice time. 290 00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:27,318 Then give old man Colucci a nice basal metabolism. 291 00:11:30,656 --> 00:11:32,123 Well... 292 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,502 what seems to be the trouble? 293 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:36,227 Well, I, uh... I have this pain in the arm 294 00:11:36,295 --> 00:11:38,096 and whenever I, uh... 295 00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,865 Whenever I tell a lie, which is what I'm doing now. 296 00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:43,368 There's nothing wrong with me. 297 00:11:43,437 --> 00:11:45,069 There's nothing wrong with you? 298 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:46,138 No, no, I'm fine. 299 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,272 Oh, these are for you. 300 00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:48,973 Excuse me, Dr. Cunningham, 301 00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:50,541 I, uh, thought this room 302 00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:52,076 would be vacant by now. 303 00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:53,678 Come on, Mr. Wilson. 304 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:55,924 Mr. Madison, we're busy here, we're really busy. 305 00:11:55,948 --> 00:11:58,049 I can't be entertaining gentlemen callers. 306 00:11:58,118 --> 00:11:59,829 Well, I tried to talk to you on the telephone, 307 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,330 but they wouldn't put me through... 308 00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:03,199 See, I thought since we had so much in common that... 309 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:06,657 Mr. Lavrano's waiting for his penicillin shot. 310 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,403 Oh, I'll be right with him. 311 00:12:08,427 --> 00:12:09,705 There's a great hockey game next week... 312 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,140 I thought if you weren't doing anything... 313 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,596 Oh, and Mrs. Davis just called. 314 00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:14,665 Her kid has had the hiccups for ten hours. 315 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,134 She's bringing him right over. 316 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,172 Well, what were you saying? 317 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,941 Nothing, I wasn't saying anything. 318 00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:27,278 Oh, yes, um... no, I'm sorry, I don't date my patients. 319 00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:29,514 I'm not sick, I'm healthy as an ox. 320 00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,449 Dr. Cunningham, you're needed in X ray. 321 00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:32,450 Oh, right away. 322 00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:33,663 It's a madhouse. 323 00:12:33,687 --> 00:12:35,297 Thanks for the flowers. 324 00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:37,655 You can get dressed now, Mr. Madison. 325 00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:39,958 Dr. Cunningham's through with you. 326 00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:44,496 Don't rub it in. 327 00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:00,612 Murray, is Oscar down there at the station 328 00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,313 playing poker with you guys? 329 00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:04,415 No, it's just that it's not like him 330 00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:06,217 to be this late and not call. 331 00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:10,154 No, Murray, I think that an all-points bulletin 332 00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:11,990 would be a little bit premature. 333 00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:14,458 Here he is! 334 00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:15,459 Never mind, Murray. Thanks a lot. 335 00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:16,861 Well, the prodigal... 336 00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:19,163 Where have you been since you left the doctor's office? 337 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:20,164 I took a walk in the park. 338 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,165 Listen, Felix... 339 00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,474 In this deluge, for five hours? 340 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:23,567 Are you out of your mind? 341 00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:24,780 I wanted to commune with nature 342 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,048 without the threat of muggers. 343 00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:27,950 I wanted to think, and I got it, Felix! 344 00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:28,906 You got pneumonia? 345 00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:30,953 No, I got a way to get to Nancy. 346 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:31,988 She wouldn't give you a date? 347 00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:33,255 Give me a date? 348 00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:34,423 She was too busy to even take my pulse. 349 00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:35,958 Don't sit there, you'll mildew the velour. 350 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,326 Forget about the velour. 351 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,250 You can't, the smell reminds you. 352 00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:41,196 Felix, my great idea is you. 353 00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:43,320 Look at him dripping... Me? 354 00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:44,600 Yeah. See, I think Nancy likes me, 355 00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:46,102 but she is so wrapped up in her work, 356 00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:48,104 I can't get a chance to talk to her, see? 357 00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:49,060 Yeah? What do you say? 358 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,061 What do you want me to do? 359 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,562 Get sick. 360 00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:53,831 What? 361 00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:56,200 You're gonna sit on the bed in your wet clothes? 362 00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:57,334 Look at this. 363 00:13:57,403 --> 00:13:58,781 Look, if you get sick, right? 364 00:13:58,805 --> 00:13:59,982 Then you call the doctor. 365 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,316 Nancy makes the house call. 366 00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:02,785 I get her alone, I get a chance to talk to her. 367 00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:03,741 How about it? 368 00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,276 The woman almost got me 100% well 369 00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,911 and now you want me to lie to her? 370 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,500 What are you making such a big deal out of it for? 371 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,749 Getting sick is as natural for you as breathing. 372 00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:13,062 You do it for nothing. 373 00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,018 What's wrong with doing it for a friend? 374 00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:15,353 Friendship is friendship, 375 00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,455 but I'm not going to make my good health 376 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:18,923 a pawn in your game of love. 377 00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:21,426 This whole conversation's making me sick. 378 00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:24,729 Oh, boy, it's not going to kill you, Felix. 379 00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:27,232 You're allergic to a million things. 380 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,078 Listen, why don't you do me a favor? 381 00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,346 Go pet Mrs. Glick's cat 382 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,315 or drink some delicious raspberry soda. 383 00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:33,705 Wear wool. 384 00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:35,306 Eat mayonnaise, huh? 385 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,242 Why don't you take a gun and shoot me? 386 00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:39,445 You're catching cold. 387 00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:40,590 Hey, smell paint. 388 00:14:40,614 --> 00:14:42,380 Felix, they're painting 4J. 389 00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:45,015 Come on, one sniff and you'll swell up like a toad. 390 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,693 Hi. 391 00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,797 Okay, I was a rat. 392 00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:01,377 I know how you hate to get sick 393 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,945 and I shouldn't have asked you. 394 00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:03,979 I'm sorry. 395 00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:05,503 I haven't even completely recovered 396 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:06,638 from yesterday's attack. 397 00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:09,240 I still have a buzzing in my face. 398 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,309 You're smoking a cigar in a sick room? 399 00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,478 I've got no place to put it. 400 00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:16,392 Well, hold it, but don't puff it. 401 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,826 Felix, what can I do to make it up? 402 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:19,795 You haven't had supper, do you want a sandwich? 403 00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:22,320 I'm exhausted, but I'm starved. 404 00:15:22,388 --> 00:15:23,933 What kind of sandwich you want? 405 00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:25,156 Tuna fish on whole wheat. 406 00:15:25,224 --> 00:15:26,157 Great. 407 00:15:26,225 --> 00:15:27,158 Oscar! 408 00:15:27,226 --> 00:15:28,459 Yeah? 409 00:15:28,527 --> 00:15:29,360 Wash the cigar off your hands 410 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,328 before you make it. 411 00:15:30,396 --> 00:15:32,196 I'll scrub up, I'll scrub up. 412 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,543 Oscar, toast the bread. 413 00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,545 Slice off the edges. 414 00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:37,712 Butter one piece 415 00:15:37,736 --> 00:15:39,514 and then salt it lightly. 416 00:15:39,538 --> 00:15:43,841 Yeah, you won't even taste the salt. 417 00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:44,842 Oscar? 418 00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:46,010 Yeah? 419 00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,646 Be sure you drain the tuna fish thoroughly 420 00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:49,792 and then mash it with a fork 421 00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:50,648 when you put it on the bread. 422 00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:51,837 We aim to please, buddy. 423 00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:53,384 You won't taste a drop of oil. 424 00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:58,434 Don't forget the fork! 425 00:15:58,458 --> 00:15:59,790 Isn't that funny? 426 00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:02,226 That's just what I'm doing, mashing it with a fork. 427 00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:05,128 Oscar? 428 00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:06,664 Yeah!? 429 00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,844 Put a crispy piece of lettuce in the sandwich, please... 430 00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:10,401 An inner leaf. 431 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:11,768 Is there any other kind? 432 00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:12,948 And Oscar! 433 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,071 What?! 434 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,917 And squeeze some lemon on the tuna. 435 00:16:15,941 --> 00:16:17,308 Un soupcon a limon. 436 00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:18,309 Oscar! 437 00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:19,310 Yeah! 438 00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:20,744 Hold the mayo! 439 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:21,945 Here, I'm holding it. 440 00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,780 I'm holding the mayo, all right? 441 00:16:23,849 --> 00:16:25,327 Isn't that a crime that I can't 442 00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:27,751 enjoy mayonnaise like everybody else? 443 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:31,088 Oh, no, I couldn't do that to him. 444 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,089 Oscar! 445 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,357 Yes, Felix? 446 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:34,737 Put a couple of olives on the side 447 00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:36,841 and a stalk of celery, if you don't mind. 448 00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:39,430 And Oscar! 449 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,999 Hurry up, I'm starved! 450 00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:45,803 It's really a nice gesture on your part, Oscar. 451 00:16:49,141 --> 00:16:51,375 Gave me quite a start there. 452 00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:52,555 Here's your sandwich, Felix, 453 00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:53,622 like you ordered. 454 00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:56,914 Ah... Oh, it looks perfect. 455 00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:00,818 This is odd, isn't it? 456 00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,352 What's odd, buddy? 457 00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:04,088 If I got sick again, 458 00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:06,457 you'd see Nancy again. 459 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,737 And there you were in the kitchen, out of my sight, 460 00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:09,838 preparing this sandwich. 461 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,229 What are you talking about? 462 00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:14,398 Just an odd situation, that's all. 463 00:17:17,636 --> 00:17:18,835 Can I have a glass of milk? 464 00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:21,144 Sure, a glass of milk, on the double. 465 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,546 You're a good friend, Oscar. 466 00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:29,547 Don't eat that sandwich! 467 00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:30,548 What's the matter? 468 00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:31,860 I spiked it with mayonnaise. 469 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,651 Oh, no, no. 470 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,063 Yeah, I got enough mayonnaise in there 471 00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:36,198 to wipe out the house of Unger. 472 00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:37,499 You can't find it. 473 00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:38,867 I cleverly hid it under the lettuce leaf. 474 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:42,126 Oh, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar. 475 00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:43,594 How could you? 476 00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:45,196 It was a rotten thing to do. 477 00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,998 That Nancy girl's got me crazy. 478 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,867 I can understand the torment that brought you to this 479 00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:52,069 and I appreciate that you stopped me 480 00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:53,570 before it was too late. 481 00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:54,905 And I forgive you. 482 00:17:54,973 --> 00:17:56,240 Thank you, Felix. 483 00:17:56,308 --> 00:17:57,908 But I am appalled 484 00:17:57,977 --> 00:17:59,910 that you would even consider such a thing. 485 00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:02,146 I don't know what I'm doing. 486 00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,749 I must be in love... 487 00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:06,851 You're not in love, you're sick. 488 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:15,392 Hey... you're burning up with fever. 489 00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:17,272 You've got the bug. Get into bed. 490 00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:18,228 No, I don't have the bug. 491 00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:19,229 Get into bed. 492 00:18:19,298 --> 00:18:20,230 I'm gonna call a doctor. 493 00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:21,432 No, no, don't call a doctor. 494 00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:22,545 Don't call Nancy! She wouldn't come anyway. 495 00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:24,513 All right, I'll call another doctor. 496 00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:25,815 Now get in to bed! 497 00:18:25,839 --> 00:18:30,174 Wow, Felix, you're right, I do feel lousy. 498 00:18:30,242 --> 00:18:31,943 Even my fingernails hurt. 499 00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:33,744 No wonder you're sick, living in this room. 500 00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:37,482 Come on, get out of your clothes properly. 501 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,684 Felix, do me a favor, will ya? 502 00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,151 The phone book's under the bed. 503 00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:42,998 Look in the Yellow Pages for a doctor. 504 00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:45,656 You'd select a physician at random from the Yellow Pages? 505 00:18:45,724 --> 00:18:48,492 You wouldn't choose a TV repairman that way. 506 00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:52,063 The TV is a delicate instrument. I'm not. 507 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,631 Flip through the pages and find me a pill pusher, will you? 508 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:55,966 I don't care what his name is, 509 00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:57,579 as long as its not Nancy Cunningham. 510 00:18:57,603 --> 00:18:59,870 Is this Dr. Melnitz's service? 511 00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:01,471 This is Felix Unger. 512 00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:03,040 Oh, hello, Elizabeth. 513 00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:04,875 Much better, thank you. 514 00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:07,945 Elizabeth, it's very important 515 00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:10,547 that I get in touch with Dr. Cunningham right away. 516 00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,919 Well, you must know where to reach her. 517 00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:17,355 Could you put me through to her? 518 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,570 Hello? 519 00:19:32,638 --> 00:19:33,938 Yes, Mr. Unger. 520 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,006 Oscar needs a doctor right away. 521 00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:38,442 I'm sorry, but I'm not on call tonight, Mr. Unger. 522 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:41,612 As a matter of fact, I'm already out having dinner with someone. 523 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,747 But this is not for a date. 524 00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:45,683 There's another doctor on call. 525 00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:48,051 I don't want another doctor. 526 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,855 It's very important that you come. 527 00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:53,190 You're making a very large mistake, Doctor. 528 00:19:53,259 --> 00:19:55,659 Good night, Mr. Unger. 529 00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:02,332 Cunningham, your attitude is not acceptable. 530 00:20:14,079 --> 00:20:15,780 Dr. Cunningham? 531 00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:17,648 Dr. Melnitz. 532 00:20:17,683 --> 00:20:19,016 I don't know why, 533 00:20:19,084 --> 00:20:21,485 but I had a feeling I was gonna see you tonight. 534 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,914 Mr. Unger, I told you on the phone I was having dinner. 535 00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:25,823 So I see. 536 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:29,560 Well, I never thought I'd see my own doctor cavorting. 537 00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:30,694 What cavorting? 538 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:32,608 Two doctors put in a 14-hour day, 539 00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:33,930 stop in for a nice meal, 540 00:20:33,999 --> 00:20:36,133 and all of a sudden, it's Peyton Place? 541 00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:39,270 Well, sorry if I... if I jumped to conclusions, 542 00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:40,771 but the indications... 543 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,341 The indications were hunger, Unger. 544 00:20:44,676 --> 00:20:46,143 Now, what's the problem? 545 00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:47,812 Nerves? Sinuses? Backache? 546 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,080 No, it's not me, it's Oscar. 547 00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:51,749 His flowers wilted? 548 00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:53,350 Forget it, Dr. Melnitz. 549 00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,952 Mr. Madison and his friend are playing 550 00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:57,132 romantic games. 551 00:20:57,156 --> 00:20:58,967 No, we're not. He's really sick. 552 00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:00,257 He's got a 103 fever. 553 00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:01,959 He's got to have a doctor. 554 00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:03,694 All right, what's one more hour? 555 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,362 I was too tired to eat anyway. 556 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:06,470 No, no, no, not you. 557 00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:07,709 It's got to be Dr. Cunningham. 558 00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:09,678 Now look, Mr. Unger, I told you on the phone, 559 00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:11,079 if your friend is really sick 560 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,580 there's another doctor on call. 561 00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:13,649 Excuse me. 562 00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:14,605 Let's dance. 563 00:21:14,674 --> 00:21:15,606 Dance? 564 00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:18,008 Why would I want to dance? 565 00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:21,790 I'm not gonna take no for an answer. 566 00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:24,447 It's your fault that he got sick in the first place. 567 00:21:24,516 --> 00:21:26,316 My conscience is perfectly clear. 568 00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:27,751 No, it's not. 569 00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:29,397 You know perfectly well he's infatuated with you. 570 00:21:29,421 --> 00:21:31,232 He humiliated himself by coming to your office. 571 00:21:31,256 --> 00:21:33,001 It was the only place where he could see you. 572 00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:34,369 And then after you rejected him, 573 00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:36,271 he went for a walk in the rain for five hours 574 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:37,706 and that's how he caught the bug. 575 00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:40,197 He did? 576 00:21:40,265 --> 00:21:42,299 All right, I'd rather make a house call 577 00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:43,466 than keep on dancing. 578 00:21:43,535 --> 00:21:44,902 No, no, Dr. Melnitz. 579 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,236 I'll go. 580 00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,404 If this is a trick... 581 00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,439 I swear on my hypochondriac oath. 582 00:21:49,508 --> 00:21:50,852 You sure you don't mind 583 00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:52,176 being left alone? 584 00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:55,913 My ambition for 60 years has been to be left alone. 585 00:22:04,489 --> 00:22:06,489 Hmm... 103. 586 00:22:06,558 --> 00:22:08,058 You got the bug, all right. 587 00:22:08,127 --> 00:22:12,629 Yeah, I'd have to be a heck of an actor to be faking this. 588 00:22:13,899 --> 00:22:17,267 Listen... I'm sorry the room is such a wreck, 589 00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:20,104 but, you know, what with being sick and everything... 590 00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:21,638 I'm telling you another lie. 591 00:22:21,707 --> 00:22:23,440 'Cause my room is always a mess. 592 00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:25,508 So is my office. 593 00:22:25,577 --> 00:22:26,577 No kidding? 594 00:22:26,612 --> 00:22:28,078 No kidding. 595 00:22:28,147 --> 00:22:33,416 Listen, I want you to take two of these every four hours. 596 00:22:33,485 --> 00:22:35,018 It won't make much of a difference, 597 00:22:35,087 --> 00:22:36,653 but it'll give you something to do. 598 00:22:36,722 --> 00:22:38,002 Nancy... I'm sorry 599 00:22:38,057 --> 00:22:40,758 about coming to your office yesterday 600 00:22:40,826 --> 00:22:41,759 like I did. 601 00:22:41,827 --> 00:22:43,761 Oh, that's okay. 602 00:22:43,829 --> 00:22:45,929 I'm sorry I was so abrupt. 603 00:22:45,998 --> 00:22:48,398 No, you were right, you were right. 604 00:22:49,534 --> 00:22:51,346 You know, I'm worried about something. 605 00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:53,904 What? I've got something serious, right? 606 00:22:53,973 --> 00:22:55,639 No, no, no, you've just got 607 00:22:55,707 --> 00:22:57,107 a good case of the flu. 608 00:22:57,176 --> 00:23:00,577 I'm worried you won't be well by Wednesday. 609 00:23:00,646 --> 00:23:02,112 What's Wednesday? 610 00:23:02,181 --> 00:23:04,214 My next night off. 611 00:23:04,283 --> 00:23:07,550 And if you're sick, you can't take me to dinner. 612 00:23:07,619 --> 00:23:09,552 Yeah? 613 00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:13,524 Yeah, I bet I look so handsome and debonair, 614 00:23:13,592 --> 00:23:15,191 you can't resist me, huh? 615 00:23:15,260 --> 00:23:18,829 I could resist you. 616 00:23:21,166 --> 00:23:22,733 You rest now. 617 00:23:22,802 --> 00:23:24,012 Wednesday. 618 00:23:24,036 --> 00:23:25,235 Wednesday. 619 00:23:25,304 --> 00:23:27,404 And you better be well. 620 00:23:27,473 --> 00:23:29,406 I told you I don't date my patients. 621 00:23:29,475 --> 00:23:30,674 Are you kidding? 622 00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:32,676 I'm as healthy as an... 623 00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:46,322 Hey, that looks great. 624 00:23:46,391 --> 00:23:47,636 I hope you like it. 625 00:23:47,660 --> 00:23:49,303 Felix gave me the recipe. 626 00:23:49,327 --> 00:23:50,727 Felix? Are you kidding? 627 00:23:50,796 --> 00:23:52,062 I'm still working on 628 00:23:52,130 --> 00:23:53,474 how you got him to let you in the kitchen. 629 00:23:53,498 --> 00:23:54,932 I have to knock before entering. 630 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:55,933 You all right? 631 00:23:56,001 --> 00:23:57,534 Excuse me. 632 00:23:57,603 --> 00:23:59,036 Here we go. 633 00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:00,782 I usually taste it first, 634 00:24:00,806 --> 00:24:02,817 but I know this is good wine. 635 00:24:02,841 --> 00:24:05,475 There we go. 636 00:24:06,679 --> 00:24:08,145 Felix, what are you doing home? 637 00:24:08,214 --> 00:24:09,513 You were said you were going 638 00:24:09,581 --> 00:24:11,381 to stay out late with Gloria tonight. 639 00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:12,490 I tried to call you. 640 00:24:12,551 --> 00:24:13,884 The phone's out of order. 641 00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:15,097 I took it off the hook 642 00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:16,865 because I didn't want be disturbed. 643 00:24:16,889 --> 00:24:18,055 What's the matter, Felix? 644 00:24:18,124 --> 00:24:19,056 Gloria's sick. 645 00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:20,357 She's got the bug. 646 00:24:20,426 --> 00:24:21,426 Call a doctor. 647 00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:22,693 I tried... Melnitz is out. 648 00:24:22,761 --> 00:24:23,806 She's really sick. 649 00:24:23,830 --> 00:24:25,240 She's burning up with fever. 650 00:24:25,264 --> 00:24:27,664 Felix! 651 00:24:27,733 --> 00:24:29,510 She's got to have a doctor. 652 00:24:29,534 --> 00:24:31,468 I'm sorry, Oscar, it shouldn't take too long. 653 00:24:31,536 --> 00:24:33,170 Why don't you and Felix eat the dinner 654 00:24:33,239 --> 00:24:34,704 and I'll come back for a nightcap. 655 00:24:34,773 --> 00:24:36,384 No, I'll take you over there in a cab. 656 00:24:36,408 --> 00:24:37,574 That's not necessary. 657 00:24:37,642 --> 00:24:39,221 Don't be silly, this is an imposition. 658 00:24:39,245 --> 00:24:40,455 I'll go along with you 659 00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:41,957 and I'll tell you exactly what to do. 660 00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:44,414 Gloria's a very delicate woman... 661 00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:46,494 but she responds well to medication. 662 00:24:46,518 --> 00:24:48,919 However, she does have a sensitivity to penicillin... 663 00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:51,021 Felix... So my advice... 664 00:24:51,090 --> 00:24:52,455 Just give me the address. 665 00:24:52,524 --> 00:24:54,091 145 Central Park West. 666 00:24:54,159 --> 00:24:55,558 Thank you. 667 00:24:55,627 --> 00:24:57,494 Hurry back. 668 00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:02,766 Well, that's a load off my mind. 669 00:25:02,834 --> 00:25:04,734 Oh... 670 00:25:07,806 --> 00:25:09,739 Mmm. 671 00:25:09,808 --> 00:25:12,075 Aren't you going to light the candles? 672 00:25:12,144 --> 00:25:13,610 No. 43496

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