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1
00:00:02,100 --> 00:00:05,000
Cheers is filmedbefore a live studio audience.
2
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:09,200
Oh, Lilith.
3
00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:10,800
Boy, am I happy to see you.
4
00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:12,400
And I, as ever, you.
5
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:14,100
You know, I was
cleanin' out my garage,
6
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,700
and I was gonna toss
a whole bunch of old toys
7
00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:18,400
into the Dumpster,
and then I thought,
8
00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:20,600
"Oh, heck, maybe
the Crane kid would like 'em."
9
00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:22,400
Oh, goodie!
10
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:23,700
War toys.
11
00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:25,500
Yeah.
12
00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:27,000
Get a load of these, huh?
13
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,400
Ah.
14
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,200
Little tin
Confederate soldiers
15
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:32,100
so my child can
have the fun
16
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:35,700
of reliving the carnage and
agony of the Civil War.
17
00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:36,800
You bet.
18
00:00:36,900 --> 00:00:39,600
My Gino once did a battle
of Gettysburg using these
19
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,900
and a can of tomato
bisque soup.
20
00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:43,100
Oh!
21
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:44,500
Here's a cute
little dolly.
22
00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:45,700
Yeah.
23
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,100
If you run her along
the bar, she screams,
24
00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:50,700
and sparks fly out
of her eyes.
25
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,700
Carla, these toys
are inappropriate.
26
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:56,200
I fear that a child who spent
his time playing with them
27
00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:57,600
would be in grave danger
28
00:00:57,700 --> 00:01:00,200
of developing severe
personality disorders,
29
00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:02,500
possibly bordering
on the psychotic.
30
00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:03,500
Wow! Spark Head!
31
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,400
God, I used to love
this when I was a kid!
32
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,300
Hey, guess who Sid
and Gladys ran into
the other day!
33
00:01:09,300 --> 00:01:10,400
Hank and Marilyn!
34
00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:12,200
(imitates squeaking
and thudding)
35
00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:14,100
Through the
windshield! Aah!
36
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,300
Aah! Skidding on the pavement!
37
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:19,000
(laughs)
38
00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:20,500
See?
39
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,100
Do I want my son to
grow up like that?
40
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,200
(theme song begins)
41
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:31,200
� Sometimes you want to go
42
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,900
� Where everybody
knows your name �
43
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:41,500
� And they're always
glad you came �
44
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,800
� You wanna be
where you can see �
45
00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:46,400
� The troubles
are all the same �
46
00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:51,400
� You wanna go where everybody
knows your name. �
47
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,800
Thanks for dropping
me off, honey.
48
00:02:10,900 --> 00:02:12,100
Sure.
Yeah.
49
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,000
Oh, I tell you
guys-- man, phew!
50
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,800
Martha's Vineyard is the
sweetest place on Earth.
51
00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:20,000
Bye, Sam.
52
00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:21,900
Bye, Martha.
53
00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:26,800
(laughs)
54
00:02:26,900 --> 00:02:29,900
Hey, let me buy you guys
a round here, huh?
55
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:30,800
Hey, all right.
Thank you, Sammy.
56
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,400
You are in a
good mood, huh?
57
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:35,100
Well, why not? I woke up
on the right side of her bed.
58
00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:36,400
You dog!
59
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,300
I know something that'll
make you feel even better.
60
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:41,500
Yeah? What's that?
61
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,500
Guess who's taking over
Melville's today.
Me?
62
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:44,800
Wow!
63
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,600
John Allen Hill...
Hmm.
64
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,500
...Manhattan's foremost
restaurateur.
65
00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:50,100
And guess who made
it all happen.
66
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:51,300
Me? Wow!
67
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:52,600
REBECCA:
No.
68
00:02:52,700 --> 00:02:54,600
Me. I was talking
to Rob...
Wait, wait, wait.
69
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:56,800
Does this story have anything
to do with me?
70
00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:58,000
Yes.
Wow!
71
00:02:59,900 --> 00:03:01,500
Go on, go on, go on.
72
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:04,000
When Mr. Hill makes
Melville's the toast
of Boston's nightlife,
73
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:06,300
our little bar will ride
right along with it.
74
00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:07,800
And all
because of me.
75
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,800
Wow!
Wow!
Wow!
76
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:13,700
Guys, check this out.
77
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,400
Kelly sent me pictures
of herself
78
00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:17,600
all the way from Paris.
79
00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:19,800
Ah.
Oh.
80
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,200
Hmm. This
one's a cutie.
81
00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:22,600
Ooh! Yeah.
82
00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:25,800
Oh, yeah, that's her on her bed
in the... in the convent.
83
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,100
FRASIER:
Looking, uh,
84
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,600
rather fetching
85
00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:32,700
in an oversized T-shirt reading,
"Je suis avec Stupide."
86
00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:34,000
(laughs)
87
00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:35,800
(ribald laughter)
88
00:03:35,900 --> 00:03:37,800
Ooh, la, la.
89
00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:40,000
So, who do you suppose took
those snapshots, Wood?
90
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,500
Oh, probably
her roommate, Cindy Ann.
91
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:42,700
Hmm.
92
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:44,000
Well, I-I don't know,
Woody.
93
00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:45,600
There's a thumb
in this picture.
94
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,800
Either it's a man's thumb,
or little Cindy Ann
95
00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:51,800
could use a big bottle
of Nair for Christmas.
96
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:54,700
I can't believe it.
97
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,700
This is a man's thumb.
98
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,200
She's having some hairy
French guy
99
00:03:59,300 --> 00:04:02,200
take sexy pictures
of her!
100
00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:04,600
All right, well,
two can play at this game.
101
00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:07,300
I'm gonna have some hairy
French guy take pictures of me.
102
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:15,300
(door closes)
103
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:17,800
I'm John Hill,
your new upstairs neighbor.
104
00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:19,300
Oh, hi.
105
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,400
And you must be
Sam Malone.
106
00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:22,400
Yeah. How'd you know?
107
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:24,600
My hatcheck girl
described your hair.
108
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,300
She didn't do it justice.
109
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,700
Ah. Well,
it's kind of a hobby.
110
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,400
The joy it must bring you.
111
00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:35,800
Well, Mr. Malone,
112
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,500
since we're going
to be neighbors,
113
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,800
I brought a little gift
for your tavern.
114
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,500
Oh! Look at that.
Hey, all right.
115
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,900
It's a welcome mat
with a duck on it.
116
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,300
Look at that.
117
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,500
Well, we've never really
used a-a doormat before.
118
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,800
Well, not
counting Clavin.
119
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:54,600
Do you, uh... Do you think
this kind of thing goes
120
00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:56,200
in a sports bar?
121
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,500
Oh...
WOODY:
Well,
122
00:04:57,500 --> 00:04:59,500
back in Hanover, duck
hunting is considered
123
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,400
one of the
manliest of sports.
124
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,700
We used to do it
all the time.
125
00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:05,300
You-You actually
shot ducks, Woody?
126
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:06,500
Oh, no.
127
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,600
It was just an
excuse for the guys
128
00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:10,400
to get together
and drink hot cocoa
129
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:14,100
and blow those little
quacker dealies, right?
130
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:15,500
I had the
best one.
131
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:18,200
I made it out of a
Good and Plenty box.
132
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,100
He's cute.
133
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:25,200
Does he come with
his own dueling banjo?
134
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,700
Well, Mr. Malone,
135
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,500
uh, please make sure
your patrons
136
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,500
use this mat before
tracking dirt up to Melville's.
137
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,400
Oh, uh,
138
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:38,600
John, you know, I...
139
00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:40,700
Listen, I really don't think so.
140
00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:42,100
Oh.
141
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,800
Well, fine.
142
00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:46,600
Uh, oh, by the way I...
143
00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:49,100
I think this will
amuse you, Sam.
144
00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:50,700
In looking
at the property map
145
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,500
that came
with my title deed,
146
00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:55,600
it appears that the area
beyond that hallway
147
00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:57,900
actually belongs to me.
148
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:58,800
Oh, no, no, John.
149
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,300
That's, uh...
that's the pool room,
150
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:01,600
and those are our bathrooms.
151
00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:03,000
No, no, no.
Look here.
152
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:04,300
You see?
153
00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:07,400
Apparently, it was Melville's
old storage basement.
154
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,700
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
155
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,100
Don't.... Don't
get alarmed.
156
00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:11,900
I have no designs on them.
157
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:16,000
I just mentioned it, because
I thought it was amusing.
158
00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:17,000
(laughs weakly)
159
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,800
That's-That's
very funny.
160
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,700
Um...
161
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:24,600
so, do we still
get to use it?
162
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:25,700
Of course! We're neighbors.
163
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,700
Neighbors help each other.
164
00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:29,300
Yeah, well, of c...
Yeah, of course they do.
165
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,100
Of course they... You
know, I got an idea.
166
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,300
Why don't you let me help
you put this duck mat
167
00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:35,000
right down at the
foot of the stairs?
168
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,500
Well, that's very thoughtful
of you, Sam.
169
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:37,700
Oh.
170
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:40,600
Oh, um,
one other thing.
171
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:44,100
Our, uh, garbage area seems
to be strewn with beer cans
172
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,500
that appear to have been crushed
against someone's forehead.
173
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:48,700
SAM:
Oh...
174
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,000
I warned you
about that.
175
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:53,400
Hey, I get crazy!
176
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,500
Don't-Don't... Don't
worry about it, John.
177
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,100
I'll, uh... I'll take
care of that right away.
178
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,800
Also, your red Corvette seems
to be parked in my space.
179
00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:02,300
Oh, no.
180
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,200
Now-Now, John, I've-I've
always parked in that space.
181
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:06,500
Not any longer.
182
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,000
Uh, fine.
All-All right.
183
00:07:08,100 --> 00:07:09,200
Uh, I'll move it.
184
00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:10,700
Of course you will.
185
00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:17,900
You know, I...
186
00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:20,500
I don't know
if I like this guy so much.
187
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,100
He seems kind of snooty.
188
00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:23,500
He's not
snooty, Sam.
189
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:25,000
He's sophisticated.
190
00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:27,800
I think this bar could benefit
from his kind of class.
191
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,500
Oh, come on. Cheers is
classy enough the way it is.
192
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:32,700
(party horns tooting)
193
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:42,900
Have you ever seen
so many Yuppies
with gold cards?
194
00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:46,500
John Allen Hill
worked his magic,
195
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,200
and we reap
the benefits.
196
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:49,700
I love these
charge slips.
197
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,500
Look at here.
198
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:54,000
They put down a
five for a tip.
199
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,600
Now, all I have to
do is stick a one
in front of it...
200
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,000
...and I got 15!
201
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:03,900
Uh, oh, all right, Normie,
you beat me fair and square,
202
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,600
so, uh, all right,
let me buy you a beer.
203
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,800
Yeah.
204
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:26,600
Um... excuse me,
I was, uh...
205
00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:28,700
I was sitting, uh...
sitting there?
206
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,300
Oh, there was no one here
when we came in.
207
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,300
No, I mean,
yesterday.
208
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,700
And...
209
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:41,100
I mean, really since
the Ford administration.
210
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:43,300
We're just waiting
for our table up in Melville's.
211
00:08:43,300 --> 00:08:44,700
So you'll move?
212
00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:46,700
Look, there's lots
of other stools.
213
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,000
Um...
214
00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:52,300
(chuckles slightly):
Um...
215
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,400
(clears throat)
216
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,400
Look, uh, um...
217
00:08:56,500 --> 00:08:58,100
Sounds kind
of silly...
218
00:08:58,100 --> 00:09:00,100
I'm, uh...
I'm Norm.
219
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,300
I'm Jeffrey,
and this is Hillary.
220
00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:07,600
Nice to meet you.
221
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,300
What do you do, Norm?
222
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,500
I sit there.
223
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,500
(clears throat)
224
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:16,300
Well, it's nice
meeting you.
225
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,800
(clears throat
repeatedly)
226
00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:22,500
Look, uh, this is...
this is...
227
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,100
(clears throat)
228
00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:25,900
Yeah. We're runnin'
out of time here.
229
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,300
He's-He's already
two stages
230
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,800
beyond anything
I've seen before,
231
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:31,200
so I-I think
you'd better give him the stool.
232
00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:33,100
I'm-I'm sorry.
We're sitting here.
233
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:34,200
(grunting)
234
00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:35,500
(thudding)
235
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:36,800
Norm? Norm! Norm...!
236
00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:39,800
(overlapping crowd chatter)
237
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,800
Uh, what's all
the commotion about?
238
00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:54,100
Who cares?
239
00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:56,200
Set 'em up, Wood.
240
00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:57,500
(phone ringing)
241
00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,400
(clears throat)
242
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:01,800
Cheers.
243
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:03,900
Uh, okay, just a second.
244
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,700
Armstrong, party of four,
your table is ready.
245
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,100
Uh, have our drinks
sent upstairs.
246
00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:09,600
We'll pay for them
up there.
247
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,300
Excuse me?
248
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,500
Young man, could you
call upstairs and tell them
249
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,400
that we're waiting
down in the lounge
250
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:16,900
until our table
is ready?
251
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,100
Sure.
No, Woody.
Woody, no.
252
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,200
This is not...
This is not Melville's lounge.
253
00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:22,600
Uh, I got to go talk
to this Hill guy.
254
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:24,500
This is getting
out of hand here.
255
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:25,900
This is my bar.
256
00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:29,700
It's not his stupid
yuppie lounge!
257
00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:31,300
I think Sam's
overreacting
258
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,200
just a bit,
don't you?
259
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,800
Ciao, gang!
260
00:10:35,900 --> 00:10:37,400
CROWD:
Randy!
261
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:45,700
Times they are
a-changin', Mr. P.
262
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,000
Hey, Norm!
Norm, Norm, Norm!
263
00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:49,200
Give me your coat
and tie, will you?
264
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:51,400
Forgot about
their stupid dress code.
265
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:55,200
Woody,
266
00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:58,600
you sent up a party of eight
without calling ahead.
267
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:01,400
Where is my brain?
268
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:02,100
Oh, man!
269
00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:03,400
This is going too far.
270
00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:05,000
Sam! Sam! Sam,
stop it. Relax.
271
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,600
Listen, don't let your anger
get the better of you.
272
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,100
That's the worst thing
you can do
273
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,500
in a business
situation.
274
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:11,800
Well, maybe
you're right.
275
00:11:11,900 --> 00:11:13,200
I don't know.
It just...
276
00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:16,400
You know, it seems to me like
he's turning our bar into...
277
00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:19,000
well, into something
Diane would have liked.
278
00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:22,300
All right, Sam.
279
00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:23,800
You hold him,
I'll hit him.
280
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:25,200
No, no.
281
00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:30,600
You-You-You
were right.
Thanks, man.
282
00:11:30,700 --> 00:11:32,400
You were right the
first time. Listen,
283
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:34,400
I'll just go...
talk to him... here.
284
00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:36,200
Say, Mr. Hill... John!
285
00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:38,500
Could I have a
little chat with you?
286
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,500
Oh, certainly, Mr. Malone.
287
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,500
John, I'm...
288
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,500
I'm feeling a little
uncomfortable
289
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,800
with you delegating
new responsibilities
290
00:11:47,900 --> 00:11:49,900
to my employees.
291
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,200
I understand completely.
292
00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:53,600
Oh, good, so it'll stop.
293
00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:54,900
No...
294
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,000
I think I deserve
a little leeway.
295
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:59,500
After all, I am allowing you
to use that poolroom
296
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:01,400
as well as both washrooms.
297
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:02,600
Well, no, no, now
wait a second.
298
00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:04,500
I could just as easily
say that I'm allowing you
299
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,200
and your customers
to use my stairs.
300
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:09,400
I mean, look, there go two of
your customers up my stairs.
301
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:12,000
Yes, and there go two of your
customers into my washroom.
302
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:14,100
Yeah, well, look, there go
three more of your customers
303
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,600
up my stairs.
304
00:12:16,700 --> 00:12:19,600
Sam, I'm sensing
hostility here,
305
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,400
and, frankly, it hurts me.
306
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:25,000
I mean, especially
307
00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:27,200
since I came down
to do you a favor.
308
00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,000
Oh. Uh, well, I'm sorry.
309
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,500
Uh, what's that?
310
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,400
I wanted to give you
the number of the impound lot
311
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,300
where your automobile
has been towed.
312
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:35,900
What?
313
00:12:35,900 --> 00:12:37,200
Well, you parked
in my space again,
314
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:39,500
and I had to have it
taken away.
315
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,500
You towed my Vette?
316
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,600
FRASIER:
Sam...
317
00:12:43,700 --> 00:12:45,800
Sam...
318
00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:49,200
He towed my Vette.
319
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:52,300
Well... all right.
320
00:12:52,300 --> 00:12:54,400
I'm just... I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to ask you
321
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:58,200
and your customers
to no longer use my stairs.
322
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,000
Don't you think
that's a little drastic?
323
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,700
No, I don't.
I think it's quite fair.
324
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,600
I mean, it's not like
I'm scratching their chrome
325
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:06,900
with a giant metal hook.
326
00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:10,300
Very well.
327
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,300
Everyone, may I have
your attention?
328
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,700
Melville's patrons
are no longer welcome here.
329
00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:18,100
Would you please join me
upstairs
330
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,400
for a complimentary cocktail?
331
00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:23,300
SAM:
No, whoa, whoa.
332
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:24,500
Not you, Norm.
333
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:29,000
Carla! Carla, bring me one down!
334
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,200
Hey, Carla,
get-get out of line.
335
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:37,400
Well, I think I handled that
quite well.
336
00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:39,800
Nobody messes with Sam Malone,
337
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:44,100
least of all some hairless
king of the snobs.
338
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,500
Wow, that was a real shot
at you from out of nowhere,
339
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:47,800
huh, Dr. Crane?
340
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:57,900
There we go.
341
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,800
Well, congratulations,
Sammy.
342
00:14:00,900 --> 00:14:03,400
It's been a whole week
since you gave Hill the boot,
343
00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:05,400
and he hasn't retaliated at all.
344
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,700
Oh, yeah, I know
guys like that.
345
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,200
They're all the same.
346
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,800
You know, you
call their bluff,
347
00:14:11,900 --> 00:14:14,000
pretty soon they crumble.
348
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:15,700
(thud)
349
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,300
Can you believe
the nerve of that guy
350
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,600
putting up a wall like this?
351
00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:32,900
(shouting):
...you know the Constitution
guarantees us certain rights,
352
00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:34,600
among those the right
to go to the bathroom
353
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,100
and the right to play pool!
354
00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:37,400
Way to tell them off, Sammy.
355
00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:38,700
Actually they wouldn't let me in
356
00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:39,900
'cause I wasn't wearing
a jacket,
357
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:42,300
but he can hear me!
358
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:44,600
Sam, calm down.
359
00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:45,600
I'm calm. I'm calm.
360
00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:47,900
I mean,
just according to his lawyer,
361
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,500
that horse's ass is not going
to take down that brick wall
362
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:52,900
until I pay rent
on the poolroom.
363
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:56,200
(laughing):
Ooh, ooh... look what I did.
364
00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:58,700
I stole all his dinner mints.
365
00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:00,600
I know, I know, I know.
366
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,100
I shouldn't have done it.
Yes.
367
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:03,600
I just let him get to me
just a touch.
368
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:06,500
It won't happen again,
swear to God.
369
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:10,200
Ten bucks says he goes
ballistic by midnight.
370
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:12,500
I've got ten that says 11:00.
371
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,700
Well, uh, I'll take 9:30.
372
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:15,800
Hey, Fras, you want in?
373
00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:17,300
Well, I don't think
that would be fair.
374
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,400
I mean, I am
a professional psychiatrist.
375
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:21,500
Then again, it might give me
the edge I need.
376
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:26,100
I say by 8:15
he'll be spitting up blood.
377
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:31,900
Dr. Crane,
378
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,800
I need your help.
379
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:35,900
I've been walking the streets,
380
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,600
pulling out my hair,
381
00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:41,300
bumping into things,
talking to myself.
382
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:44,700
So, what's new, Woody?
383
00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:46,200
Well, it's Kelly.
384
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:48,100
I can't stop
thinking about her
385
00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:51,900
and-and that man
with the thumb.
386
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,500
Oh, Woody.
387
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,700
You've created this whole
scenario based on what?
388
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,800
A snapshot of an innocent
girl in a T-shirt.
389
00:15:58,900 --> 00:16:00,100
I mean, look, if you want
to straighten things out,
390
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:03,100
why don't you just call her
and talk to her?
391
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,400
Yeah, maybe you're right.
392
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,600
I mean, maybe
if I just talk to her,
393
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:10,500
we could clear
this whole thing up.
394
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,100
But, so help me God
if a man with a thumb answers...
395
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,100
Hold on.
396
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,200
It's him. It's the thumb guy.
397
00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:20,900
And you know what that pervert
said to me?
398
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,900
"Allo."
What does that mean in English?
399
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,800
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
400
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:26,700
No, I took some French
in high school.
401
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:29,200
I think "allo..."
"allo" means, um...
402
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:30,900
"I've got your
girlfriend in my arms
403
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:34,800
and, uh, soon we'll be naked,
you stupid cuckold."
404
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,600
That's-that's funny, Norm,
because I thought it meant, uh,
405
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,700
"I've got your girlfriend
in my arms
406
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,500
and we're already naked,
you stupid cuckold."
407
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:44,900
FRASIER:
Oh, for God's sake.
408
00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:47,100
Stop hectoring the poor lad.
409
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:48,300
Woody, it simply means
410
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:52,000
that "I enjoyed
your girlfriend."
411
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,300
(laughing)
412
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,800
All right, listen, Monsieur
Thumb, you think you got...
413
00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:03,400
No, no, no, Woody, Woody,
Woody, Woody, Woody, stop, stop.
414
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,500
We were just joking.
Here let me talk to him.
415
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,500
Bonjour, Monsieur.
416
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,300
Eh, mm-hmm,
je suis un ami de Woody.
417
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:10,800
Un petit probl�me--
418
00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:13,800
ma question estle photographe de Kelly.
419
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,000
Uh-huh.
420
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:16,500
(laughing)
421
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,200
Non. Non.
422
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,900
C'est marveilleux.
423
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,000
Merci.
424
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:23,300
Oh, Woody.
425
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,700
It seems that there's a...
a Monsignor, uh, Pilot,
426
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,800
a very elderly French cleric,
who was the one
427
00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:31,200
that took the photograph
of your beloved.
428
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,100
Oh, well.
429
00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:34,800
Thank you, Dr. Crane.
430
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,600
I-I feel a million times better.
431
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:38,000
You know what I'm gonna do?
432
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:40,100
I-I'm gonna... I'm gonna go
write Kelly
433
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:42,600
the best darned love letter
she's ever had.
434
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,100
CLIFF:
There you go.
435
00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:45,800
(Frasier chuckling)
436
00:17:45,900 --> 00:17:48,600
So, uh, some old
French priest, huh?
437
00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:50,600
I have no idea.
438
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:54,100
Apparently, Woody dialed
the wrong exchange.
439
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:58,800
Somewhere in Belgium, there's
a very confused chocolatier.
440
00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:05,600
I'm taking things
into my own hands here.
441
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:07,400
I hate that damned wall.
442
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:09,600
I'm gonna put my bar
back the way it was.
443
00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:12,600
Coming out, no more bets.
444
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,000
Uh, excuse me, you may
want to move over here
just a little bit.
445
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,500
Fellas, you may want
to take note where you were
446
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:17,800
the day the wall came down.
447
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,000
(panting)
448
00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:35,300
(panting)
449
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,100
Is it down yet?
450
00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:45,700
Mr. Hill, wait here just
one moment, please, okay?
451
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:48,200
Sam,
452
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,900
now I don't want you
to be mad at me,
453
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,000
but I brought Mr. Hill here
to settle this whole ugly mess
454
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:53,300
between the two of you.
455
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,000
Please say
you'll talk to him.
456
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:57,900
Oh, sure, I'd love
to talk to him.
457
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,700
Not with the
sledgehammer.
458
00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:03,500
Aw, I wasn't gonna actually,
you know, hit him with it.
459
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,500
I was just gonna drop it
on his foot by mistake.
460
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,400
No, Sam.
461
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:11,200
Sammy, just let me have it.
462
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:13,100
(thud)
Ow!
463
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,200
It would have worked, Sam.
464
00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:17,900
No, I'll just, uh...
465
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,300
I'll go talk to him,
that's all right.
466
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:22,000
Mr. Hill.
467
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,100
John.
468
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,000
I'm glad you came back.
469
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:27,000
Sit down for a second.
Oh, thank you.
470
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,000
Uh, things have just gotten
too far out of hand here.
471
00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:32,700
I mean, come on,
we're neighbors.
472
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:36,000
We need to, well, we need
to learn to live together.
473
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,800
We-we need each other.
474
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:39,600
I don't need you.
475
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,300
Oh, God, you're evil.
476
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:48,200
I can't fight the evil.
477
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:54,300
I-I... I give up, Mr. Hill.
478
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,600
You know,
the funny thing is, I...
479
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,600
when I got my bar back
just recently,
480
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:03,300
I thought, "Hey, Sam, you're
on top of the world here.
481
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,300
"Your life's finally
turning around.
482
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:09,000
You're in charge of
your own destiny."
483
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,300
But I was wrong.
484
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,900
You have my bathrooms,
Mr. Hill.
485
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,900
You hold all the cards.
486
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,400
You're everything.
487
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:18,600
You're God.
488
00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:21,200
I'm nothing.
489
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:23,400
Here's your rent.
490
00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:25,700
I'm sorry, Sam,
I was wrong.
491
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,400
I don't want your money.
492
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,100
You don't?
493
00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:31,000
No, I just want you to make
that speech to me in public
494
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,600
every month
when your rent is due.
495
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:35,200
No, no.
496
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,000
I was wrong, you're not God.
497
00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:40,100
You're-you're some big petty,
mean nothing.
498
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:42,400
I'll tell... you know
I'm gonna give you
your rent every month,
499
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:43,900
and every month from here
on out, and I'll tell you,
500
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,300
every time I do I'm gonna write
right down here
501
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,200
on the memo part
"You're not God."
502
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:49,700
There.
503
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,500
How do you like that?
504
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,200
Well, you certainly put me
in my place.
505
00:20:56,700 --> 00:21:00,200
I'll just, uh,
take your money and go.
506
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:01,400
Yeah. Good, good.
507
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,300
Oh, by the way,
when I came in,
508
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,600
I noticed they were
towing your car again.
509
00:21:05,700 --> 00:21:07,900
What for?
I didn't park in your space.
510
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,800
No, but it was in a fire lane.
511
00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:11,500
I don't make the rules.
512
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:15,600
I just notify the authorities
when they're broken.
513
00:21:15,700 --> 00:21:17,200
Oh, God!
514
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:20,500
Oh, he's making me insane! Oh!
515
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,000
I'd say that scream
makes it official.
516
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,300
Woody, who
won the pool?
517
00:21:23,300 --> 00:21:24,900
Well...
518
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,300
Oh, Sam,
you aren't gonna believe this.
519
00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:28,700
The winner of the $200
520
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,300
is our friendly new
neighbor, John A. Hill.
521
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:33,600
(grunts)
522
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,500
(yells)
523
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,700
He gets paid $200
to make me insane?
524
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:39,300
No, he can't get away with this.
525
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,200
No, this is not fair.
I'll tell you something,
526
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:44,300
I'm gonna make him take down
that brick wall, brick by brick,
527
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,500
with his own little
polished fingernails.
528
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,300
I need... I need
to get back.
529
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:49,800
I need revenge.
530
00:21:49,900 --> 00:21:51,300
Ooh, yes, yes.
531
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,000
The mat.
The stupid mat.
532
00:21:53,100 --> 00:21:54,400
I've always hated this mat.
533
00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:56,100
This is a mat from hell.
534
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,700
(grunting)
535
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,100
Never mind. Never mind.
536
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,900
Where's my sledgehammer?
537
00:22:03,900 --> 00:22:07,500
Yeah, die you stupid duck.
538
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:08,900
(grunting)
539
00:22:08,900 --> 00:22:10,600
CARLA:
Sammy.
540
00:22:10,700 --> 00:22:12,500
You're not making a dent in it.
541
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,500
Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
Watch this.
542
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,300
(laughing)
543
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:17,600
(panting)
544
00:22:17,700 --> 00:22:19,800
Burn, Donald, burn.
545
00:22:19,900 --> 00:22:22,300
(laughing)
546
00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:26,100
It won't burn.
547
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,600
Say, this is a pretty good mat,
isn't it?
548
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,200
I know what I'm gonna do.
549
00:22:34,300 --> 00:22:36,700
I'm gonna take this home
for myself.
550
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,900
I'm gonna bring back
one of those cheap ones,
551
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,100
the kind that wear out
all the time,
552
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:46,700
and then he'll have to replace
it himself every month.
553
00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:49,400
I win!
38584
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