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Pro nobis peccatoribus,
nunc et in hora mortis nostrae.

- I got here as fast as I could.
- Amen.

Thank God you're here.

Let me look at you.

The sadness has deepened.

You said you have something?

The founder of our order,
Father Francesco,

he brought it here in 1557.

Amazing.

Do you know what it is?

Yes.

Do you know what it is?

A page from the Sibylline book.

- The Sibylline book from er...
- Rome.

Wow.

Some believe it has
the power to predict the future.

If a page survives, perhaps
the rest of the book does.

And it would be valuable.

If it's money you need,
I'll get it for you.

- Don't sell your relics.
- No. We must find it.

It's the Vatican symbol.

- Are they the buyers?
- No.

We have a friend in Rome.

They will find a buyer.

Call them when you find it.

Anything for you, Sister.

Oh, Ulysses?
Look after yourself.

Always.

One word of warning
to your friend

and I will make him
watch us kill you all.

- Thank you.
- Grazie.

We think it may have been
the template

for the Jupitus Optimus Maximus.

It's stunning.

Wait until you see the floor.

Eh!

Look. Do you think the British
Museum might be interested?

I should say so.

You have a week to take it up.

A week?

Sympathetic removal
will take months.

We're in Rome, Alex.

Everywhere's
a World Heritage site.

Nice for the tourists,

but what the people who live
here need is decent transport.

The C-Line metro is 30 years
late coming through here.

A week is all we have.

I see.

What is it?

Handwritten
Guns N' Roses lyrics.

Let me see.

It's not your expertise,
Maurice.

Stick to the drug smuggling

or whatever it is
you do these days.

Everywhere you go...

opportunists.

Hey. Yankee-Doodle-Man!

Show me this paper.
We all share.

Sure.

Seriously?

You're mugging me
at 10,000 feet?

Aargh! Aargh!

All I wanted was a quick
under-the-radar flight to Rome.

The page. Now.

No page. Land. Now.

Or we can keep talking,
you know, whatever suits you.

Americano!

Hey, Tufty! Your airline's going
to get a stinking review!

My lunch was inside
that backpack.

Ripped & Corrected By mstoll

Better late than never.

Was this on your wedding list?

It's all rather dull, actually.

And we're in Rome
looking for a dress.

I thought we'd have
some time for some fun

but she's so busy with her work.

Follow your heart.

Surely you must know
your sister's dream dress?

Oh, it's not my sister getting
married. It's my daughter!

I'm gonna need a brandy, please.
I'm in shock here.

What, you... you have a daughter?

You are a delight. I could
listen to your shtick all night.

Well, lucky for you
I'm an all-night kind of fella.

Just need to change, Mum.
Ten minutes.

No rush, darling. Mr Hooten here
is diverting company.

I needed to see you. I'm sorry!

I was messing.
I knew it was your mother.

- What do you take me for?
- An oaf.

A chancer. A dog.

I've have to say
you don't look like your mother.

She's very elegant and refined.

For your information,
I'm adopted.

Huh.

You did well,
bagging a lord and a lady...

Two minutes and already
I want to punch you in the face.

This is what I hoped. We can
pick up just where we left off.

- What do you want, Hooten?
- Your help.

I didn't expect
to see you again.

I haven't heard from you
since the Amazon.

I have to call regularly, do I?

Are you like this
with your fiancé?

How would you like
to know the future?

Swallow. And then speak.

I said, how would you like
to know the future?

I already know it.
You're crossing the street

right into the path of a truck.

I'm talking about
the big things. Plagues.

Floods. Wars.

I'm talking about the book

that guided the kings
and emperors of Rome.

The Sibylline book?

It was destroyed over 1600 years
ago by General Stilicho.

'Scuse fingers.

It's authentic.

Where did you get this?

A nun.

I'm on a mission from God.

The Vatican mark.

Do you think the rest of
the book might be there?

Now you know why I'm in Rome,
my little accreditation fairy.

I need your access
to the Vatican.

My mother is here
to look at wedding dresses.

I've got the dig,
and now you bring me this.

Do you really think
I'm gonna just drop everything

to go treasure hunting with you?

Do I really need to answer that?

My wheels are over here.

I get first dibs
on cataloguing and examination.

We should also discuss
exploitation rights, too.

Let's find the thing first.

Er... this is us.

Won her in a game of scopa
off a bridesmaid.

I call her Audrey.

It's an example
of everyday sexism

to name vehicles after women.

So you know a nun?

- I know a lot of nuns.
- And how do you know this nun?

"Nun" of your business.

It's all lies, isn't it? I bet
you're going to sell the book

to one of your dodgy contacts.

You've got that look about you.

That look would be
God's hand guiding me.

We can start in the library.

Let's work backwards.

General Stilicho had
the Sibylline book in 405AD.

He must have given it
to the Church. Why?

Christians believe it prophesied
the arrival of Christ.

It would have been a useful tool
in the process of conversion.

So why doesn't the Sibylline
book have pride of place?

Once people are converted

there's only one book the Church
wants people reading.

The Bible.

So they hid it?

What did you say the...

the name of the founder
of your nun's convent was?

Father Francesco.

And stop saying "nun"
like I made her up.

I knew I'd seen
his name somewhere.

Look, here's his diary.

Francesco tore out
the stamped page

in protest at its censorship.

Then somebody named Simoni
hid the rest of it.

I don't suppose it says where?

I don't completely understand.

It says... Francesco goes to
the convent - to your convent -

and then Simoni stays in Rome.

He writes to Francesco.

He says,
"It is hidden, Father.

The key is in my book."

Thanks, Simoni, big help.

Well, what he actually writes
is "meo libro picto"

and then
essentially writes "LOL".

"Meo libro picto?"

What does that mean?

"My painted book."

Huh!

For 1557 that is pretty funny.

What?

What? What... what...
what's the joke?

Come on, spill the beans.
What do you know?

What kind of clearance
do you have?

- A2.
- A2?

I thought you said
you could get in anywhere.

I can. Within reason.

I don't have clearance
to go in there, Hooten.

I need a day to sort it out.

You're either with me
or you're not.

Pub quiz.
When was the last Pope elected?

Pope Francis?

2013.

- More specific.
- March, 2013.

Hurry.

Even more specific.

The 12th to the 13th
of March, 2013.

White smoke was seen
at six minutes past seven.

Perfect.

Come on, cameras are down.

Slowly. These anchor points
haven't been used in years.

What did you do
to close down security?

It was this thing
I read in the paper.

To prevent eavesdropping
during the papal conclave

all security in the chapel
was disabled.

I just told the system it was
March 13th, 2013, again.

We're going to hell.

We already knew that.

Well, you can cross the Sistine
Chapel off your bucket list.

Right. So Father Francesco
receives a cryptic letter

"The key
is in my painted book"?

- The Erythraean Sibyl...
- "Ery-thraean."

...one of five books
on the ceiling.

Simoni was the surname
of none other than Michelangelo.

He was in here around that time,
bashing out the Last Judgement.

There was friction between him
and the Pope, you see.

How do you know so much about
the Sistine Chapel ceiling?

Can't I be knowledgeable
about Renaissance art?

Where did you get your
information from? Wikipedia?

I had root canal done last year.

The dentist's office had an
annotated poster on the ceiling.

Hey. You learn wherever you can.

So you think
this is the painted book?

Hey,
there's a groove right there.

You can't go stabbing
at Michelangelo's ceiling!

That is a crime against culture.

You take out your scalpel
all the time and pick things up.

A scalpel is a precision
instrument, not a dirty knife.

Get your scalpel out then, Doc.

There's definitely
something behind there.

Oh, I can't do it.
I can't do it. It's...

Give me yours.

And you can hold mine.

Careful, careful, careful.

Careful, careful, careful.

Grab...

You were supposed to...

Get down. Slowly.

- Hooten!
- My line's jammed.

- Hooten!
- I can't get down.

- Cut your line.
- I'll break my neck!

- Who cares about your neck?
- I do. I love my neck.

I have a great neck.

You will bring down the Sistine
Chapel ceiling, you heifer!

Heifer? You're the one

who looks like they haven't
missed any "pah-sta".

- That's made this easy.
- What has? Oh!

- Huh? Alex!
- It's "pasta", Hooten.

- With an "a".
- Argh!

I'm alive. It's a miracle.

- What fell out?
- A ceiling over a human life.

- I've seen the real you.
- Is it part of the book?

It's a chunk of wood.

And have lost the connection.

We'd better get out of here.

I'm not going until I've sealed
this ceiling back in place.

Alex, seriously,
we're on Vati-cam. Come on.

Leave it! Come on!

You're still working?
At this time of night?

Hello, Ella.
Sorry to bother you so late.

Would you mind checking
something for me, please?

I'm sending photos
of an artefact I've found.

So, the material is wood, ebony.
It's part of a frieze.

It's circa 3rd century,
but I don't recognise it.

You really are working.

Actually
we're drinking in a bar.

- Who's that?
- The waiter.

Would you see
if you can find anything,

and then give me a ring back.
Thank you.

Don't answer that.

- We're working.
- It's my mum. Hello.

So I ate dinner alone.
That was fun.

I looked like some
terrible French widow.

Now I'm in the room.

The assistant's been standing
here for 20 minutes.

Are you coming to view
these dresses or not?

I'm sorry.
I've been caught up in work.

But this is your wedding dress
we're talking about, Alex.

I don't mind. You pick one.

I could have combat fatigues
and a clown costume here.

No, you haven't.
I know you will have chosen

the most beautiful dresses
in the whole city.

Well, I have.
I just wanted you to be here.

This is a big
mother and daughter moment.

I'm sorry,
this is really important.

I've got to go. Love you.

Did she mention me?

Oh. Hi.

Alex. How close are you
to Capitoline Hill?

Two minutes.

Get yourself down there.
This piece is truly astounding.

What did she say?

2,000 years ago the
Sibylline books were kept in

an ebony chest under the Temple
of Jupiter Optimus Maximus.

Ella's discovered
that our chunk of wood

is likely a section
from the base of that chest.

What does that have to do
with Michelangelo?

During the Renaissance,

the Temple Maximus Capitolinus
was renovated.

It became known as
the Palazzo dei Conservatori.

- Guess who designed it?
- Michelangelo Simoni.

Precisely. He would have known

the significance
of that location.

It's the perfect, poetic place
to hide the book,

back in its original home.

When you say "under the temple",
do you mean...

...under, under?

What's down here?

Subterranean Rome
is like a labyrinth.

Let's hope
we don't run into a minotaur.

No, they're Greek.

This way should take us
right under the old temple.

An oil lamp.

Second century.

That's just a... a thing.

Stop picking stuff up.
We're in a sewer.

Your natural habitat, of course.

Ha, ha-ha!

GPS says that the basement
should be just along here.

Amazing, it's all still intact.

Barely, that step
looks like it's gonna break.

A catacomb.

Isn't Rome amazing?

There are miles and miles
of these throughout the city.

People just brick them up
and ignore them.

To think, we're following in
the footsteps of Michelangelo.

- Is this it?
- That's a sarcophagus.

We're looking for
an ebony chest.

All I see are skulls and bones
and more skulls and more bones.

It's like
a serial killer's apartment.

See the way they're looking.

There seems to be a skull theme
going on here.

Look.

It's a corner.

One... two... three.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

This is it.

Hey... uh-uh...

We found it.

That's given me tingles.

You should probably
get that looked at.

Is that you?

Hm?

People...
dump these in the drains

every time they get too big.

What?

That's enormous.

Step back.

I never step back.

What do you mean you never
step? Why? Since when?

Always. It's a rule I have.

What kind of rule is never step
back? Why make a rule like that?

Step back! Step back.

OK, what do we do now?

Right...
You walk left, I'll walk right.

- OK.
- Move slowly.

That way he won't know
which one of us to attack.

You're counting on it
being an indecisive alligator?

That and you're younger,
more tender on the jaws.

Well, you're far meatier.
That's a lot longer meal.

English lamb.

Melt-in-the-mouth good. Mmm.

Salted Texan jerky.
All-you-can-eat buffet.

Help yourself.

Oh! Hooten! Please!
Hooten, do something!

Here goes nothin'!

- Are you OK?
- Yeah.

Er... Hooten?

How do we get out?

We have water.
We have alligator meat.

Somewhere.

Maybe we should
consult this book?

At this point I'm willing
to give anything a try.

How does it work?

You ask yourself your
fundamental question.

The question you need
the clearest guidance on.

You open the book, place
your finger on a passage

and that is the way forward.

"The English lamb bleats loudly.

It's enough
to drive the wolf crazy."

What do you think that means?

We may not believe, but we
should still be respectful.

If you don't want to consult it,
then don't.

All right, all right, all right.

What does it say?

Er... My Greek hexameter
is a... bit rusty.

Yes...

I can only give you
a... sketchy translation.

"Flowers of the east will be
cut down by foreign foes.

There will be no light until
the valley is at its darkest."

What a crock of shit.

You're never going
to get a signal.

That's what you think.

Careful. Sorry.

That place had been there
for hundreds of years.

How did you know
we could get out?

Well, if there was a way
for my phone to get a signal

there was a way for us.

It's Rome.
There's always another layer.

A bit like you, eh?

I'm a hundred per cent surface.

I think I should take the book.

It'll be safe
and will help build relations

between the Museum
and the Vatican.

I've made the call.
I'm giving it to the guy.

"The guy?"

A priceless relic and you're
going to give it to "a guy"?

He's not just "a guy".
He's a friend of my nun.

That's what she wants
and it's gonna happen.

- I bet it's the Mob.
- You're in Italy,

you hear the word "friend",

and you assume it's the Mob.
That's racist.

I'm just concerned
with whom you are dealing.

I'm dealing with God, Alex.

I'm a man of faith.
I'm not like you.

- What, organised and thorough?
- Suspicious, cynical... racist.

Mr Hooten.

I can sense you're
jumping to conclusions.

A mission from God.

- It was.
- You're a liar, Hooten.

You found the Sibylline book?

- No.
- Yes.

A nun?

She must have been acting
under duress.

The next one is in your head.

My name is Tramacca.

How did you get this number?

Don't press anything, don't
alert anybody. Just listen.

We have
the original Sibylline book.

That's not possible.

If the Vatican want it, it will
pay a fee of five million euros.

I cannot sanction
a payment of that magnitude.

But you can make a call
to those who can pay.

You know the story
of the book's origin?

The last king of Rome,
he was offered nine books

by the Cumaean Sibyl, but
considered the price too high.

So the Sibyl, she went away
and she burned three books.

When she returned
she offered the king

the six remaining books
for the same price.

Again the king said no.

The Sibyl went away
and burned three more books.

Finally the king purchased
the three remaining books

for the original price.

And now...

...there is only one.

No!

That is the property
of the people of Rome!

Indeed. It is a cornerstone
in our city's foundation story.

Would you see it lost?

Please.

Allow me to consult
with the Holy Council.

One hour. Any contact with the
police will see the book burned.

You were in the chapel.
You set me up.

Your friend, Sister Maria,
she did not want to co-operate.

She's family to me,
you son of a bitch.

In the end, Mr Hooten,
there is no family.

"Siamo lupi solitari."
We are lone wolves.

I believe that is
our true founding story.

Now...

...who can read this?

You have a family?

- Yes.
- Hmm.

I had the greatest family.

But now I'm an outcast.

My brother was killed eight
years ago and they blamed me.

I am a king in my world, Alex.

I am an emperor.

Yes, I want the money, but...

...I also want guidance.

I want to know if there is
a way back to my family.

Hold the book.

Hold that question
in your mind.

And allow yourself to find
the truth within its pages.

"You are worn-out dead.

Your tomb is ill-starred.

It holds no pride or honour.

Your throne is lost."

That could mean anything.

No! No! Please! Don't!
Look, I beg you, please.

There's no need for this!

I won't let you!

- Run!
- Argh! Aargh!

- Argh!
- Run!

Run!

Sorry!

Why did you tell him the truth?

I'm not a liar like you.

I'm just saying, sugar the pill
a little next time.

You burnt a Mafia man's face.
We are so dead.

- He deserved it.
- This isn't a joke, Alex.

We're going to the airport.

Ideally,
we need a shuttle to Mars,

but we are leaving Europe.

We're not going anywhere until
I've got my mum. I'll call her.

My bag. My bag, Hooten,
I left it back at Tramacca's.

It's got the hotel key in it.
My mum, Hooten.

Mum?

They've taken her.

No, don't even think about it.

They'll call us.

You have to let me
talk to the police now.

Tramacca's gonna have people
in there. They'll be tipped off.

They'll shoot your mother
and dump her by a road.

I cannot just sit here
and do nothing!

If you do anything to hurt her
you will...

Mr Tramacca, I apologise.

The woman behaved badly.

Yes, she did. And so did you.

You threatened a friend of mine,
a woman of the cloth.

Do you think I care?

You will bring the book
to the Sant'Angelo bridge. Now.

What is he saying?

There will also need to be
recompense, Mr Hooten.

I understand.

What did he say?

He erm...

he just wants the book.

OK, fine,
so where are you meeting him?

- Sant'Angelo bridge.
- OK, let's go.

No, I'm going alone. You need
to get somewhere safe.

- Alex?
- Forget that.

Oh...

There's protocol. Say the wrong
thing, you'll get us all killed.

You're an expert on prisoner
swaps now, are you?

If something happens to my mum,
I don't want her to be alone.

You're not coming.
It's just too dangerous.

Hey! Polizia!

Hey...
He's trying to steal my bag!

What are you doing? No, no, no,
she's goofing around.

English sense of humour.
Inappropriate. Not funny.

Dumb really.

What did you say?

I told him you think
all police are bastards.

Scuse,
Engleesh humouro failurini.

Argh!

Where is Mr Hooten?

I got rid of him.

You have the book?

Where's my mum?

She will be delivered.

I want to see her now!

- Alex!
- Mum!

Look, where is she?
I want to see her.

This isn't a negotiation.

You don't hold any cards.

Oh.

Careful!

You drop that,
I shoot you in the groin.

And then I shoot your mother
in her face.

OK, you can let her go now.

You think that's it?
I dust my hands and walk away?

Recompense must be paid.

No! Please!

Picking on the weak.

Even for the Mafia
that's pretty low.

I stole the bike by the way.

In five minutes, this place is
gonna be swarming with cops.

Let them go
and this will work out.

You have the book, you can do
whatever you want with it.

- Run, Alex!
- Listen to your mother.

There's no such thing
as a lone wolf.

We all have packs,
people who love us,

whether we like it or not.

Ugh!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's amazing.

I thought... you went to work...

catalogued items,

occasionally travelled abroad
to authenticate things.

But I didn't know
that you were running around

making deals with the Mafia!

Goodness knows what
your father will say about this.

It was a one-off. It wasn't me.
It was Hooten.

Who was this maniac?

He was... just a guy.

He was a jungle and tomb man.

Sorry to interrupt.
Do you have a moment?

Come this way, please.

I understand
you're getting married.

A gift from the Vatican. The
Holy Father has blessed them.

May your marriage
be strong and happy.

Thank you so much.

Can we go home now?

I think I need a session
with my psychiatrist.

It isn't the life we chose.

Listen, you keep buying,
I'll keep drinking.

I'm not used to drinking drinks
with umbrellas.

He let me think he was dead!
You utter bastard!

I have been worried sick
about you

and you're sat around drinking!

Alex, I'd like to introduce you
to a dear friend of mine,

Sister Maria Riva.

Please join us.
I've heard so much about you.

I'm... I'm so sorry.

Hooten,
may I have a word with you?

You really
did do all of this for a nun?

Yeah, why not?

Because you only ever
think about yourself.

- I want you to think that.
- That is what you think.

You're right.
That is what I think.

Who are you, Hooten?

Where did you...
come from?

I am Hooten. And I came from
that bar stool right there.

Lady Lindo-Parker,

have you found this...
charming one a dress?

Did you punch him
in the face yet, Alex?

Because if you haven't,
I certainly will.

- Forgive me, Sister.
- That's quite all right.

Ulysses
has that effect on people.

- Ulysses?
- Mm.

Your name is Ulysses?

Do they know
your Christian name?

I was saying to the Sister

how hard it was for me
to make this escape.

It required a police
bullet-proof vest

and some amazing swimming.

But fortunately for me
I've been shot before.

You can
continue with your... story now.

I can't really, my jaw's...

Anyway, it all began when I made
the horrible decision of...

coming to Rome.

Can I get some ice?

Ripped & Corrected By mstoll