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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,917 --> 00:00:03,420 BARBARA: Oh, my God! Why?! Why did you do this?! 2 00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:05,380 - I didn't mean to! You kept telling me to pull harder! 3 00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,924 - I didn't mean to break me, you dumb piece of shit! 4 00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:09,968 Now Dan is definitely gonna know you snooped! 5 00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:12,971 - Did you... 6 00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:15,015 - What? 7 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,349 - Did you fucking do that on purpose? 8 00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:18,601 - Wha...? Oh, my God, Cody. 9 00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:21,604 Why would I have you break me on purpose? 10 00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:23,356 So that Dan would come home from work 11 00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:25,066 and realize you're a crazy, jealous bitch 12 00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:27,777 and break up with you, and then we'd live happily ever after? 13 00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:30,822 [laughs] Yeah, I did it on purpose. 14 00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,949 - Well, great plan, man. 'Cause now you're all jacked up, 15 00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:35,118 so he might break up with me, but he's gonna throw you away, 16 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,578 so you fucked both of us. 17 00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,496 - Have you met Dan? He doesn't care. 18 00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:39,956 For him, it's just another hole to fuck. 19 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,503 ["Little Hypocrite" by Alice Bag playing] 20 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,967 You're seriously going to all this trouble to keep Dan? 21 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:52,635 Why? 22 00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:55,638 - 'Cause I love him? - [laughs] "Love him." 23 00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:57,682 How do you fucking know you love him? 24 00:00:57,682 --> 00:00:59,559 - I don't know, man, I ju... 25 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,853 Like, I don't know, we fart in front of each other. 26 00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:04,105 We... both like to watch movies with the subtitles on. 27 00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:06,274 Whatever. - Wow, wow, that sounds super deep. 28 00:01:06,274 --> 00:01:08,401 - Fuck off, Barbara. You know, you call yourself a feminist, 29 00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:10,153 but you hate other women. - What? 30 00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,321 No, I love other women. 31 00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:12,822 I just hate you. 32 00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:14,532 - But you are me! 33 00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:16,034 - No, I'm not. I'm not you. Ugh! 34 00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:20,622 Phone, play "Doll Parts" by Hole. 35 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:22,957 ["Doll Parts" playing] Yeah, I fucking love this song. 36 00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:24,709 [turns off music] - Okay, see? 37 00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:26,336 You just proved my point a-fucking-gain. 38 00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,838 We're the same person. I love this song. 39 00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:30,590 You sound different to me, 'cause I'm going fucking crazy, 40 00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,425 but in reality I'm just sitting in my car, 41 00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,260 having a conversation with myself, and I just told 42 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:35,970 my phone to play "Doll Parts" by Hole, so... 43 00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:38,473 ["Doll Parts" playing] Goddamn it. 44 00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:40,558 [turns off music] - You know what? You are the shitty feminist. 45 00:01:40,558 --> 00:01:42,852 I hear you doing all types of, like, rape roleplay, 46 00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:45,396 you twisted little bitch. - Okay. That, you know... 47 00:01:45,396 --> 00:01:48,858 Roleplay, like... that's a consensual... 48 00:01:48,858 --> 00:01:51,945 And-and a woman can be submissive in bed 49 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:55,740 and, like, not be, like... - "Ooh, Daddy, it hurts! 50 00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:58,368 Daddy, I'm Cody. Ooh, it hurts." - Okay. 51 00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:01,746 All right. When we do that, it's, you know... 52 00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:04,833 it-it is a fictional roleplay universe... 53 00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,376 You know what, whatever, man. It doesn't mean 54 00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:08,378 I want to fuck my real dad. - Wow. Okay, 55 00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:10,713 I didn't actually think you wanted to fuck your real dad 56 00:02:10,713 --> 00:02:12,632 until you just said that. Now I'm like, 57 00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:14,634 oh, my God, you want to fuck your real dad. 58 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,636 Is he, like, hot or something? 59 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:19,180 - You're so annoying. - [laughs] I'm annoying? 60 00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:21,766 Dan and I had a good thing going and we were super happy, 61 00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:23,560 and you came and you screwed everything up! 62 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,228 Ugh! We all know you're just dating Dan 63 00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:26,980 because he's, like, a genius writer, 64 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,773 and you're hoping it'll somehow rub off on you. 65 00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:29,941 But it won't... - ♪ They really want you ♪ 66 00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:31,776 ♪ They really do ♪ 67 00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:37,157 ♪ Yeah, they really want you ♪ 68 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,450 ♪ They really want you ♪ 69 00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:40,994 ♪ And I do, too. ♪ 70 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,787 BARBARA: I want a green juice. 71 00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:44,497 - Oh, that's too bad, 'cause you're plastic. 72 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:46,708 - Your hands are clammy. 73 00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,501 Ow! You're hurting me! 74 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:50,545 - Oh, no. 75 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,338 - You're such, like, "mean mom" vibes. 76 00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,176 Oh, my God, Cody. 77 00:02:56,176 --> 00:03:00,513 Don't look now, but look now. 78 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:01,848 The redhead. 79 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,434 She's fucking disgusting. Ew. 80 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,852 Girl, you're looking gorgeous. 81 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,062 Keep rocking that wig. 82 00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:10,440 [tapping desk bell] - Hello? 83 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,817 - [laughs] Bet he's totally jerking it back there. 84 00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:14,944 - Who? - The repairman. 85 00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:16,988 - How do you know it's not a repairwoman? 86 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:18,990 - [sputters, snorts] 87 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,743 You're so cute. You're so, like, of the moment. 88 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:24,746 I really am gonna miss you when Dan breaks up with you. 89 00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:27,457 ♪ He's jerkin' off, he's jerkin' off ♪ 90 00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,417 ♪ He's jerkin' off in the back of the store. ♪ 91 00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:30,919 - Hey. Sorry about that. 92 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,503 I hope you weren't waiting long. 93 00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:34,005 Did you hear anything? 94 00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:36,090 - See? I told you. - Excuse me? 95 00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:38,635 - No, I was just in the back making a repair to a doll, and I 96 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:41,387 was wondering if you heard the sound of me making the repairs. 97 00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:43,806 - See? - Yeah, I didn't hear anything, so, you know, 98 00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:46,434 for the future, like, you don't have to ask that question. 99 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:48,603 - Oh. A lesson learned. 100 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,939 I am Stu. How can I help you? 101 00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:53,149 - Yeah, I just need to get that fixed. 102 00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:56,027 - Yikes. That is nasty. 103 00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:57,904 - You're nasty, dicklick. 104 00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,239 - You know, actually, I think it would be faster 105 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,615 and cheaper just to get a new one. 106 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:02,909 - What? No, no, it's, um... 107 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:05,328 it's my boyfriend's, and he can't know about this, 108 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:08,206 so, you know, it would have to look exactly like her, 109 00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:11,459 and I know she's, like, a... special one-of-a-kind order. 110 00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:15,046 - Wait, that one? - Yeah. 111 00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:18,216 - No, no. That's a Kayla. - A what? 112 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:20,468 - That's a Kayla. That's a standard midrange model. 113 00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:21,928 - That's not true. - They discontinued those years ago 114 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,514 due to lack of interest. - No. He's a fucking liar. 115 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,808 - Shame. - I'll tell you what, we have a bunch of 'em still in stock. 116 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,518 Maybe you just get a new one. They're on sale. 117 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:31,145 - Great. - What? - Although... 118 00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:33,648 I'm just thinking about your situation. 119 00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:35,066 - What's wrong? 120 00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,359 - I don't know, it's just... 121 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,278 she's really worn out. 122 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,821 I think your boyfriend is 123 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,197 definitely gonna notice the difference. 124 00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:42,657 Would you mind if I...? - Please. 125 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:44,033 - Okay, this is just... - Great. 126 00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:45,535 BARBARA: Ow! 127 00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,537 Okay, guys, my tits are chilly in here. 128 00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:49,497 If anyone happens to have a light cardie. 129 00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:50,790 STU: See, silicone isn't that different 130 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,125 from flesh, really. 131 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,502 Like, time just takes its toll. 132 00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:56,212 - Yeah. - Look at these fingers right here, can you see these? 133 00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:57,588 These are sort of... - Oh, Jesus. 134 00:04:57,588 --> 00:04:59,090 - Yeah, they're kind of melty. - Gross. - Melty? 135 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:00,967 No, no, no. - Yeah, well, you know, this is the thing, 136 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,136 they're only really designed to last ten years, 137 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,470 and so if you do the math, she's a MILF. 138 00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:06,806 - Fuck off, Stu. - But... 139 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,891 too old, too old to be a mother. 140 00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:10,768 So I guess, like, a GILF or something. 141 00:05:10,768 --> 00:05:13,104 - Okay, I'm actually unable to conceive naturally, so the fact 142 00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:15,773 that you'd even bring that up around me is very triggering. 143 00:05:15,773 --> 00:05:17,358 - Let me get serious here for a second. 144 00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:19,402 Let's take a look. - Ew. What is he doing? 145 00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:21,321 - Okay. - Oh, my God! Ew! Get out of there, perv! 146 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:24,949 - We got stage five vaginal stressing. 147 00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:27,327 - Okay, Cody, look, I know we never established a safe word, 148 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,329 and that is totally my bad-- we absolutely should have talked 149 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,873 about it-- but, like: safe word. 150 00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:34,208 - Left labia completely blown out. 151 00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:36,836 - Okay, Cody, we can stop now. - Now, the hair is easy, 152 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:37,879 because we can just... - I'm actually really starting to freak out. 153 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,422 Oh! My beautiful hair! 154 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:42,300 - Yeah. Pops right off. Easy peasy. 155 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,510 - [ Barbara sobbing ] - Yeah, we just pop that on to a new doll, 156 00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,721 'cause their wigs, they come with a much higher quality 157 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:49,057 of hair, and he would definitely notice something like that. 158 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,975 - [crying] Oh, Cody, please... 159 00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:52,935 - Right. Okay. 160 00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,645 - Now, take a look at the face here. 161 00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:56,481 See these cracks? 162 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:58,524 These are called compression tears. 163 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,276 They just happen over time. 164 00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:02,445 - Right. - Look, I'm just 165 00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,697 spitballing here, but maybe we can take a rolling chair, 166 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,949 and we roll it over the face 167 00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:09,744 of the new one, back and forth and back and forth, until... 168 00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:11,496 we can match this cracky face. 169 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,164 But don't you think your boyfriend 170 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:15,208 would prefer a new model? 171 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,293 I mean... just look at her. 172 00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:20,171 She's useless. 173 00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:21,756 - [Barbara sniffles] 174 00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:24,217 [beep] MAN [over speakers]: Stu. 175 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,177 Could you report to the loading dock? 176 00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:27,637 The new anuses just arrived. 177 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,180 - Nice. 178 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:34,185 [somber music playing] 13937

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