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1
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This programme contains strong
language and scenes of a sexual
nature
2
00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,000
Hi.
3
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,040
Hey!
4
00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:01,320
How you doing?
5
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:02,920
Good, thanks. How are you?
6
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,840
I'm good, good.
7
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,600
You're late. I'm late.
I'm sorry I'm late. I know.
8
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,080
It's OK.
9
00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:15,240
I'm about 10 to 15 minutes
late in life, I've realised.
10
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Are you, you're always late?
11
00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,600
Yeah, it might be a good
thing for you to bear that in mind.
12
00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:21,240
Yeah?
13
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:23,080
OK.
14
00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,200
What were you thinking
when I texted you?
15
00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:30,320
Erm, you want the honest answer?
16
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:31,360
Ooh...
17
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,400
Only the honest answer.
18
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,120
I was thinking, "Oh, this guy."
19
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:38,280
"Oh, THIS guy."
20
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,120
"This guy."
21
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,040
I dunno, like,
22
00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:45,560
if it was anyone else, I would have
probably dismissed it and...
23
00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:49,480
OK.
24
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,360
I don't know. I felt...
25
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,000
I don't know why. I don't know why
I felt this
26
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,200
differently.
27
00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,640
That's good.
28
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:00,680
Yeah.
29
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,280
OK.
30
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:15,760
Oh, look.
31
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,960
"Together for over 65 years." Yeah.
32
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,680
TOGETHER: "Let me not to the
marriage of true minds
33
00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:24,640
"admit impediment."
34
00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:25,680
All right.
35
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:28,720
I have to sit here now. OK.
36
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:31,640
Wow.
37
00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,200
65 years. Imagine being
with someone for 65 years.
38
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:36,680
Mate, that's... That's crazy.
39
00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:38,720
Yeah.
40
00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:44,480
Is that the dream?
Would that be the dream?
41
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,200
Like, is that your dream?
42
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,760
Maybe, yeah, with the right person.
43
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:58,720
Yeah.
I guess you can't really know.
44
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,280
You can't really know that,
starting out.
45
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,640
Erm...
46
00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,280
But, yeah, that would be...
47
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,680
The idea of it's nice.
48
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:13,080
I think so.
49
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:16,200
PHONE VIBRATES
50
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:30,040
VOICEMAIL: Hey, Hannah.
It's James.
51
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:31,400
Erm...
52
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:34,320
I just wanted to say, I hope
you like me as much as I like you.
53
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,000
HE CHUCKLES
54
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,520
Or even...or even half as much,
erm...
55
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:43,520
I'm thinking about you, and, er,
yeah, let's do something else.
56
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,520
ON PHONE: Yeah, exactly.
It's just...
57
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,920
Yep, all right then. No, no,
no worries.
58
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:49,480
Thank you very much, though, for...
59
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:50,680
HE CHUCKLES
60
00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,080
All right. Cheers, buddy.
Cheers, thanks.
61
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,520
So have you been on many of these,
er, swipe right dates?
62
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,960
No, I'm pretty new to it, actually.
63
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,240
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
64
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:19,800
What did you do before?
65
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,560
Fell into things by accident.
Oh, OK.
66
00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:27,240
What about you? Have you
done this a lot?
67
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:31,200
Yeah, I've... I've defeated...
I've clocked the dating apps.
68
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,640
Like, I'm waiting for, like,
number two to come out.
69
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,200
Oh, you've completed them?
I've completed it, yeah. OK.
70
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,560
Clocked is like a gaming...
OK, sorry, I'm not a gamer.
71
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,040
..it's a term.
72
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:44,280
Erm, yeah, no, a lot, a lot,
and I should stop,
73
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:46,600
but when you're just
in the office all the time
74
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:50,000
and you're sort of, like, meeting
the same people, then you've got...
75
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,520
Your time's precious. You haven't
got a lot of time, you know.
76
00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:54,600
It makes sense, erm, yeah.
77
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:02,200
And, er, good, good experiences?
78
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:06,320
Good and bad, sometimes people look
nothing like their picture.
79
00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:08,200
And this is going to sound bad,
80
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,920
but, like, one girl literally
turned up and she had, like,
81
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,440
two extra chins.
82
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,960
No, I know that sounds...
You know what I mean, though?
83
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:18,400
It's like why are we starting
on a lie? I don't have a problem.
84
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,480
I don't necessarily need a girl
to be skinny, or...
85
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:22,720
I'm not really bothered,
that bothered about size,
86
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,240
but, like, let's not start on a lie.
87
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,400
We're starting a date
with an elephant in the room.
88
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:27,920
Do you know what I mean?
89
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,440
An elephant in the room?
90
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,280
No, I didn't... Sorry!
91
00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:33,880
No. Sorry, I know what you're
saying. I know what you're saying.
92
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,160
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
93
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,640
So what made you, erm,
start swiping?
94
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:43,600
Erm...
95
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:46,400
I dunno. I guess I'm...
96
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:51,880
I'm hoping to meet
some interesting people, maybe,
97
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,760
and just see what happens.
98
00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,480
But you're not looking
for anything specific, or...?
99
00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:03,040
What, like, a husband, you know,
or...
100
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:06,240
Well, I don't... I don't mean, like,
second date, let's get married,
101
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,880
but, yeah, you're going in there
with an intention,
102
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,760
like, some people are on it
just to have a shag
103
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:15,000
and some people are on it
for other things.
104
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,920
Mm, yeah, possibly, possibly.
105
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:21,840
I haven't, I haven't made up my mind
about all that stuff yet.
106
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,640
At all?
107
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,400
At your age? Not like that.
108
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,800
I know it sounds bad,
but at your age,
109
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,040
you must have thought about it.
Clock ticking, all that?
110
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:35,240
Mm, well...
111
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:41,680
Yeah, I've thought about it.
I haven't decided.
112
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,920
Erm...
113
00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:47,520
You haven't thought about kids?
114
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,120
Thought about it.
115
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,640
Still thinking about it.
116
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:53,280
What I...
117
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,960
I suppose I just... I don't know
exactly what it is that I want yet,
118
00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,840
and I'm still trying
to figure it out.
119
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:04,640
So why are you on a date?
120
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,320
This date?
121
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,000
Yeah, why are you on this date?
122
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,360
I don't know. I thought
we were getting to know each other,
123
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:18,920
having, having a chat.
124
00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:24,000
You seem like an interesting guy and
I thought we could see what happens.
125
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:28,000
When you say "see what happens," do
you mean actually see what happens,
126
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,280
or you mean... Yeah.
127
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,840
You look annoyed.
128
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,680
I'm not annoyed. I just know what I
want out of this,
129
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:40,520
and if I meet someone, I'm meeting,
thinking, what is this,
130
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:42,880
and what can this be, and, er,
131
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,240
I don't mean to put pressure
or anything like that,
132
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,000
I just mean...
133
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,840
I just... I just waste a lot of
time.
134
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,560
I've been on a lot of these dates,
and I just feel sometimes
135
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:54,040
it's getting a little bit
frustrating when
136
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:57,360
someone's just come out of a
relationship or someone's not ready.
137
00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,960
I sort of just feel like I need
people to be a lot more honest so...
138
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:04,360
I know that can be abrasive
for some people, but,
139
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,400
yeah, that's what I'm asking.
140
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,840
Er, I do feel...
141
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,080
Because I don't think you know
what you want.
142
00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:13,120
See, I think you're wasting my time.
143
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:16,280
I think you're here to find yourself
or use me to find yourself,
144
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,840
or use me to find
what you really want,
145
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,560
and that's just fucking
wasting my time, to be honest.
146
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,960
So I think we should just
leave it here, yeah?
147
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,360
OK. I'm right, right?
148
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,800
I'm... I'm right, right?
149
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:33,480
You... Yeah, it's a fucking joke.
150
00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:36,040
..you seem to think you're right.
I'm right. OK, yeah.
151
00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:38,240
Thanks for wasting my fucking time.
Peace.
152
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,040
Ugh...
153
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:50,240
Wow, wow...
154
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,360
What do you want, Mum?
155
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:12,960
Erm, a herbal, please.
156
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,560
Is camomile all right?
157
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:23,800
Lovely.
158
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,960
Do you want me
to leave your tea bag in?
159
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,160
Yes, please.
160
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,160
Here you go.
161
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:51,600
Thank you.
162
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:56,440
Do you remember what
your grandmother used to say?
163
00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:00,760
She used to say,
164
00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:05,160
"There is no path
to happiness.
165
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,240
"Happiness is the path." I know.
166
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,400
Yep.
167
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:16,440
It feels strange,
not having her there,
168
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:20,920
but you have to build
your own happiness, Hannah.
169
00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:24,040
You, you are very smart,
170
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,120
you're strong,
171
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,360
you're beautiful. Ugh...
172
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:29,720
Yeah, you are, really.
173
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:33,200
And
174
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,680
you can have everything, Hannah,
175
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:37,680
but it doesn't happen by itself.
176
00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:42,960
And sometimes you have to make
conscious decisions
177
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:46,400
about what you want in life,
178
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:50,040
and make a plan, and stick to it.
179
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,760
You don't need to worry about me,
Mum.
180
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:55,040
I'm all right.
181
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,360
I'm fine, Mum.
182
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,240
Erm, I don't think you are,
Hannah...
183
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,040
I'm, I'm happy, Mum!
184
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:04,080
I really don't think you are.
185
00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,120
Oh, fucking hell...
186
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:12,600
I know this is going to sound silly,
Hannah,
187
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:16,320
but one day you're going to wake up
and you're going to be 40.
188
00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:21,240
Well, they say that
40 is the new 20,
189
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,200
50's the new 30, so
190
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:26,520
I think it's... It's not that bad.
191
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,920
You might look great,
192
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:32,560
but your body will be that
of a 40-year-old woman, and...
193
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:37,520
.. I don't want you to
194
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:41,480
miss out on building a family
195
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,800
and sharing your life with somebody.
196
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:50,360
Of building a really loving,
meaningful relationship.
197
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:51,880
Oh, my God, Mum...
198
00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:55,640
All I really care about is
your happiness.
199
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,520
I don't want to just sit here
and watch you,
200
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,560
and have cups of tea once a month,
201
00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:02,920
while your life just drifts by
and then you...
202
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,400
Mum, please, please,
please drop this.
203
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,840
OK, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
that you don't have grandkids
204
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,560
to play with yet... It's not...
205
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,040
..so just please leave it.
206
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:14,720
..it's not about that, Hannah. It's
not about me having grandchildren.
207
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,760
It's about the whole
of your life, darling.
208
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,800
You can't meet Mr Wonderful
when you're 60, darling.
209
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,200
Bye, Mum.
210
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,480
211
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,560
212
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:57,680
213
00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,840
214
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:01,560
215
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,680
216
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,080
217
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,240
218
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:13,120
219
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:17,040
went right down the drain?
220
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:18,800
221
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:19,840
222
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,000
223
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,040
224
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:25,000
225
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,200
226
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:28,760
227
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,480
world is coming to!
228
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,480
WHISPERED: Hey!
Oh, hey, hello! How are you doing?
229
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:54,160
How are you doing?
Hey, darling.
230
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,960
How are you doing? Yeah, I'm good,
thanks. How are you?
231
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,480
Yeah, good.
232
00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:01,200
So this is Gabriel.
Oh, my gosh! Ahh...
233
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,960
Hello! He's gorgeous.
234
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,640
Aw, thanks.
235
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,240
Yeah, he is quite cute, isn't he?
236
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,000
Gosh. I got you a little something.
237
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,000
Aw, thank you.
I'll pop it down...
238
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:13,480
That's really kind. I'll pop it
down here. Thanks so much.
239
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:14,800
Yes.
240
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,280
So, how are you?
241
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,840
We're good.
242
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,360
I mean, the lack of sleep thing is
difficult,
243
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,520
but apart from that
I feel really good.
244
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:25,600
I'm feeling really happy,
quite contented.
245
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,640
I don't think I was expecting
to feel the big love rush thing
246
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,760
that everyone talks about,
but it's all true.
247
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,960
And Tim's been brilliant.
248
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:38,280
He's been just an absolute Trojan.
249
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:41,080
He's there every step of the way,
with the, sort of, the 2am feeds,
250
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:45,480
and the 4am feeds, and changing
nappies in the middle of the night.
251
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,960
He takes it all in his stride,
and he's amazing.
252
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,560
It's really brought out
the best in him, I think.
253
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:52,520
And the best in us, I think.
254
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:53,840
Oh!
255
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,280
Yeah, yeah.
256
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,400
Do you want to hold him?
257
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:04,760
Yeah. Yeah?
258
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,280
Why not? Cool.
259
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:07,800
Are you sure?
260
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,240
Yeah, he's quite chilled.
261
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,200
Which side do you want his head?
Erm...
262
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,600
Left or right?
263
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,960
No, I can... Yeah, right, I guess.
Just straight over? OK.
264
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,640
Oh, God...
265
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,960
I don't want him to wake up.
No, it's all right.
266
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,200
Oh, a quick changeover.
267
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,640
Aww...
268
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:30,920
Hello.
269
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,560
Hi!
270
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:34,880
Waking up?
271
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:42,560
So cute.
272
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,640
You're so cute.
273
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,160
Oh, he's beautiful.
274
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:53,800
I'm so happy for you.
275
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,520
Ah, thank you!
276
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:57,440
Honestly, it's...
277
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,920
It's amazing.
It's amazing, what you've done.
278
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:03,720
Oh, love...
279
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,560
Oh, love, what's going on?
It's all right. Nothing, honestly.
280
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,160
Come on. Are you all right?
What's happening?
281
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:13,920
I'm fine. I'm just...
282
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:18,480
Yeah.
283
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,320
Shit.
284
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,680
OK.
285
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,080
Hi. Hey.
286
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,600
Hi.
Yep. How are you doing?
287
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,080
I'm good, thanks. How are you?
Erm, great, good.
288
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,680
Sorry if I've kept you waiting.
289
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,320
No, no, no, not at all.
290
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,040
It's been, like, 10 minutes,
but it's fine.
291
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,720
It's fine... I ordered a,
sort of, a small beer,
292
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,360
and I've drunk a bit of it, so I'm,
er, pretty much raring to go.
293
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:53,640
What, er, do you want a drink?
Erm, yeah, why not?
294
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:55,280
Er, what can I get you?
295
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:56,680
Hi. What can I get you?
296
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,760
Erm, can I have a vodka
cranberry juice, please?
297
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,240
Sure, no problem. Thank you.
298
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,080
So, how was your day?
299
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:09,000
Er, er, good, good.
300
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,640
I sort of do... I do, like,
freelance copywriting.
301
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,120
I'll tell you what I wrote.
302
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:16,840
Right, it's... Erm, so there's a
button you have to click
303
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:18,840
to get into the website... Mm-hm.
304
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:23,760
..and, er, I gave them five
different options, and... Yep.
305
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,760
..we went with, eventually,
306
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:27,640
"Click here."
307
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:30,320
So there you go, three years
at university. How crafty, yeah.
308
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:32,160
Pretty solid, erm...
309
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,640
Well, there you go.
310
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:38,600
OK, here's where I'm at.
311
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:43,400
Sometimes, I want to meet someone
who I can find peace with,
312
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:47,560
total fucking tranquillity,
but then,
313
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:49,680
but then sometimes I just want...
314
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,880
..fucking chaos, you know?
315
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,600
I want that person to be mad,
316
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:59,920
and drive me insane
and torment me even more.
317
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:04,320
You know? So tell me,
what's Hannah looking for?
318
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:05,760
What are you after?
319
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:12,040
I don't know. I suppose
when it comes to a relationship,
320
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:16,320
I want to have
the freedom to be...
321
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:18,480
..myself,
322
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,480
like completely myself.
323
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:21,520
And...
324
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:27,440
I don't know if I've ever
really had that in a relationship.
325
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:34,400
Like, don't we want contradictory
things from people?
326
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,560
Like, we like the idea of safety
327
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:41,160
and security and love and care
328
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,560
and someone to feel like home,
329
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,920
and of course we want that,
we need that,
330
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:49,200
but then there's another side of us
that wants novelty and excitement,
331
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,080
and the new, and...
332
00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:54,680
I don't know how
you resolve that.
333
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:58,160
I don't know how you resolve that
with just one person, so
334
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,640
I know that
I don't want to be tied down.
335
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:05,440
I know that I want excitement.
336
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,240
I like sex.
337
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:12,920
I...
338
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:19,880
I don't know, I guess, sometimes
I feel like a bit of a freak,
339
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:21,720
compared to other women that I know,
340
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:27,400
I mean, most of my friends
from school and uni,
341
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,360
they're already settling down,
342
00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:35,800
some are on their, you know,
their second or third kid,
343
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:39,520
and I worry sometimes
that I'm going to be left behind
344
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,800
before I figure my shit out,
you know?
345
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:47,080
I don't know.
346
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,360
Yeah.
347
00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:51,160
You're pretty fucking incredible,
348
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,240
as far as I'm concerned, but...
349
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:58,640
Erm...
350
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:00,320
I'm just going to go to the loo.
351
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:01,960
Yep, no, yeah. That's fine, yep.
352
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,520
All right. Sorry!
353
00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:43,920
Hey, hey. Come on, now.
354
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:45,680
You want to be free, don't you?
355
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,040
Hey, hey, slow down.
You want to fucking...
356
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,680
Slow down.
357
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,840
Come on, let's go,
let's go back upstairs.
358
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,080
I know you want... Let's go back
upstairs. Come on,
359
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:57,480
slow down, slow down, slow down!
360
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:58,960
No, come on...
361
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:01,640
Get off!
362
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:47,960
Fuck.
363
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,920
So, yeah, I was telling you
that my parents had a dinner party
364
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:05,520
a few weeks ago, and they were,
like, had all their friends over,
365
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:08,360
and they were all, like,
they brought all their kids,
366
00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:11,760
and it was, like, so mental
367
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:13,720
but it was so, so, so fun.
368
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:19,160
We had, like, like, this huge table
for all, like, my mum and dad's
369
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,320
friends, and then we had, like,
another table for all the kids,
370
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:23,840
and it was just so fun.
371
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:26,840
Like, everybody was together, and
they were all telling stories about
372
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:30,040
being on holidays with their kids,
and, like,
373
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,320
the kids were like running about,
all being friends together,
374
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,520
they've all known each other
since they were little,
375
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:37,840
and I was just
like, oh, my God, like,
376
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,200
I want that.
377
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:44,600
Like, I want to have that
relationship with someone,
378
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:49,440
that's like my person,
my partner, and my husband,
379
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:54,160
and I want to have the house and,
you know, the white picket fence,
380
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:57,480
and the children and the dog,
381
00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:02,080
and the nice kitchen with the island
in the middle,
382
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:06,040
and I know that, you know, I know
that sounds materialistic
383
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:07,640
but I think it's more than that.
384
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:12,640
I don't know, I guess I just don't
see the point in being
385
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,480
in a relationship
for the sake of it.
386
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,040
Like, what's the point?
387
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,120
What's the point in being with
someone who isn't right,
388
00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:20,640
just cos you're scared
of being alone?
389
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:24,400
You know,
I would rather be on my own than
390
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:28,520
be with someone who isn't right.
391
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:32,040
And I see so many women, and
so many people that we know,
392
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:34,880
they've panicked and they have
settled for, like, the next guy,
393
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,240
this, like, he'll do,
I've just got to have kids, and,
394
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,640
and I just, I don't want to be
that person.
395
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,440
I, I want something more, I...
396
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:43,480
I do.
397
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,000
And you know what my biggest
fear is?
398
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,720
My biggest fear is that actually
I'm getting it wrong,
399
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:54,600
and maybe my mum's right, I'm going
to wake up and I'm going to be...
400
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:56,840
And it's going to be too late,
and I'm going to realise too late
401
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:58,920
that that is what I want,
402
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,520
that is what I want
and I've fucked it up.
403
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:03,640
I'm terrified of fucking it up.
404
00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:11,600
Fucking ridiculous, actually.
405
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:13,520
It's so fucking unfair.
406
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,120
It's so fucking unfair that we even
have to think about this now.
407
00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:18,880
Guys can decide to have kids
when they're 50, it's not an issue,
408
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:24,400
but the moment we hit 35, it's,
like, you've got to decide now
409
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:26,160
or it's going to be too late.
410
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:27,440
And like, you know,
411
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,400
what we've been told from, like,
our teenage years to our 20s,
412
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,080
like, it's like the worst thing
that can happen is to get pregnant.
413
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:35,000
It's, like, the end,
your life will be over, right?
414
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:36,600
That's what we're told,
415
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:39,080
that's, like, drilled into us
from such a young age,
416
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,280
and then suddenly it's, like,
it switches,
417
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,760
it goes from, like,
don't get pregnant, to, like,
418
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:46,560
you'd better fucking get pregnant
or, or you've missed your chance.
419
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,600
And that's, like, literally that
change happens in like five years
420
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:51,640
in your 30s, and it's just, like,
what the fuck?
421
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,520
So now, in this tiny space of time,
I'm meant to find the guy,
422
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,680
the perfect guy,
the guy that I could potentially
423
00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:00,960
spend the rest of my life with,
and do that, and get all that done?
424
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:02,080
I just think it's insane,
425
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:05,280
I think it's crazy,
I think it's fucking crazy.
426
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,400
I just... And I don't want to
buy into any of that crap,
427
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:11,320
but, yeah, I still, obviously,
I'm bothered by this crap.
428
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:42,120
Good morning. Morning, I have
an appointment with Dr Saris.
429
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,000
Sure, can I have your name?
Hannah Li.
430
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:48,640
If you'd just like to take a seat,
he'll be with you shortly.
431
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:49,680
Thanks.
432
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,480
Obviously, it very much depends
on who's doing the egg freezing,
433
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:15,920
what their age is and how many eggs
we can get as well.
434
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:18,360
The success rate of somebody
who's in their 20s,
435
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,440
where you might have
10 or 12 eggs frozen,
436
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:24,080
might be as high as 40% or 50%,
437
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:26,160
but for a woman who's in her 40s,
438
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,520
the success rate can be
as low as 1%.
439
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:32,200
So, at the age that you are,
very roughly, we would expect
440
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:35,600
about a 3% to 4% chance
of each egg to give us a baby.
441
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:37,280
Three to four? Per egg.
442
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:39,680
But of course
if we have a number of eggs,
443
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:42,240
ten eggs, or a dozen
eggs, for example,
444
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:46,840
it can be anywhere between 20%, 25%,
maybe even 30% success rate.
445
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,640
Egg freezing
is like an insurance policy,
446
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:51,600
but actually it's not
a very good insurance policy,
447
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:53,680
because you'd expect a good
insurance policy to pay out
448
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:58,560
every time that you need it, as
opposed to this is a might pay out.
449
00:32:58,560 --> 00:32:59,680
But it's the best that we have,
450
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:01,560
unfortunately
we have nothing better than that.
451
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:02,920
It's hope, though, isn't it?
452
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:06,200
It is hope, but it wouldn't be
right for me to tell somebody
453
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:09,360
that this is a guarantee, when
in fact it's just a possibility.
454
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:22,680
You OK?
455
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:24,800
AUTOMATED VOICE: Lift going down.
456
00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:32,880
AUTOMATED VOICE: Ground floor.
457
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:34,040
Don't look so worried.
458
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:39,960
Mum.
459
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:41,320
It's OK.
460
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:44,240
It went really well, really well.
461
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:45,520
OK?
462
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:51,000
Look, he was amazing, the doctor,
you know, he really reassured me
463
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:54,320
and we talked through everything,
and,
464
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:55,720
yeah, I'm, I'm going to do it.
465
00:33:58,520 --> 00:33:59,560
I am.
466
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,400
You should be happy for me,
467
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,520
you should be happy that
I'm going to have,
468
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:08,040
I'm going to have some options,
I'm going to have some more time.
469
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,040
It's a good thing.
470
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:12,400
It really is, it's a good thing.
471
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,920
You know, yeah,
472
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:19,480
I can, in a few years,
if I've met someone we can,
473
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:21,440
you know, we could,
we could do this together.
474
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:24,800
Or if I haven't met someone
I could do it on my own,
475
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:25,840
it's all possible.
476
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:27,120
It's brilliant, really.
477
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:29,880
I promise you.
478
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:31,440
Don't look so worried.
479
00:34:33,240 --> 00:34:34,280
Come here.
480
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:39,200
It's all right.
481
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,720
I really wish you'd
been there, actually.
482
00:34:44,720 --> 00:34:46,560
If you'd heard what he had to say,
483
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:49,360
I think you'd feel
so much better about it.
484
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:50,400
Come on.
485
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,400
Honestly, it's really exciting,
what they can do.
486
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:57,120
It's OK.
487
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,520
It's OK, look, you were the one
who told me to come up with a plan,
488
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:01,480
this is my plan.
489
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:03,080
It's a good plan.
490
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:04,200
Are you sure?
491
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:05,040
I'm sure.
492
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:21,640
OK, Hannah, what I'm going to do now
is
493
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:24,000
I'm just going to insert the probe.
494
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,920
You might feel a little bit of
pressure.
495
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:31,640
And, if you want, you can look at
the screen as well.
496
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:35,440
So here, I'm just looking at the
womb.
497
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:38,080
This little triangle inside is the
cavity,
498
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:41,440
and you'll see just here how on
either side
499
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:43,560
the tubes are going out of the womb.
500
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:46,840
And we'll check that a little bit
later.
501
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:51,160
And here what we're looking at is
the ovary on one side,
502
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:53,200
this little grey area.
503
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:56,760
And what I'm trying to see is how
many of these little black spots
504
00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:59,440
I can see inside, which is where
eggs are developing.
505
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:06,400
OK, so now that we've looked at the
ovaries and the womb,
506
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:09,160
I'm just going to arrange for you to
have your blood test
507
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:13,560
and after that I'll see you back in
the consulting room.
508
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:19,080
So for somebody of your age, we'd
expect to see 15 or 16 of these
509
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:21,800
little developing follicles with
their eggs inside.
510
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,440
But when I scanned you,
511
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:27,480
unfortunately what I saw was one
follicle.
512
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:30,280
Now, the blood test that we did -
513
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:33,080
it's another way at looking what's
happening in your ovaries,
514
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:36,440
and again, your result came back
very low.
515
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:39,040
In combination, those two tests
tells us
516
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:41,920
that the number of eggs your ovary
is releasing every month
517
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:46,200
is much less than we would expect
for someone of your age.
518
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:49,360
The final test that we did looks at
the tubes
519
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:53,080
that connect the ovaries to the
womb. Mm-hm.
520
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:57,240
And, unfortunately what that test
showed us
521
00:36:57,240 --> 00:37:00,840
is that both tubes appear to be
blocked,
522
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:02,440
and not to be working properly.
523
00:37:03,720 --> 00:37:04,800
So...
524
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:12,400
..what exactly does that mean for
me?
525
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,360
Well, the chance of achieving a
526
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:17,560
natural pregnancy on your own is
very low.
527
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:20,080
Now, for egg freezing to be
something
528
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,960
which is worthwhile from an
insurance point of view,
529
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,920
we would want to be able to collect
a good number of eggs.
530
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:30,560
And based on today's, uh,
information,
531
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:36,360
we would be very unlikely to be able
to collect that number of eggs,
532
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:39,480
even with multiple cycles of egg
freezing. OK.
533
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:43,760
Also, even if we tried to do
something like IVF, although not
534
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:46,880
impossible, the chance of success
would be very low as well.
535
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:55,080
OK.
536
00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:59,440
I know it's a lot to process right
now.
537
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:03,440
We can arrange for another meeting
to talk about it again. Mm.
538
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:05,760
Also, what a lot of women find
useful is
539
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:07,560
maybe speak to a counsellor.
540
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:09,760
I can give you details for that
as well.
541
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,920
OK, yeah, erm...
542
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:16,720
..yeah, that would be, that would be
good, thank you. Thank you.
543
00:38:16,720 --> 00:38:18,080
Do you have any other questions?
544
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,520
Anything else I can help you with at
this moment?
545
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:24,720
No, no, no other questions.
546
00:38:24,720 --> 00:38:26,000
Thanks very much.
547
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:46,480
LEAVES RUSTLING
548
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:08,160
MUSIC BEGINS PLAYING
549
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:13,440
DOORBELL RINGS
550
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:24,920
MUSIC PLAYS
551
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:31,840
my life in the sunshine
552
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:37,760
553
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:43,320
554
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:49,240
555
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:55,200
556
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,000
557
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:03,800
558
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,000
559
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:09,040
560
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:13,000
561
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:26,240
562
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:32,080
563
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,720
564
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:43,720
565
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:57,400
my life in the sunshine
566
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:03,280
567
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:09,480
568
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,320
569
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:21,280
570
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:27,080
571
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:33,200
572
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:38,960
573
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:59,840
what I feel, when I'm feelin'...
574
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:08,400
I used to think there was something
wrong with me.
575
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:14,560
Cos I'd get bored of people so
easily.
576
00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:22,280
I mean, at this bit for example...
577
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:25,480
..most of the time, like after...
578
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:31,520
..after I've done it, like I just
kind of...
579
00:42:34,240 --> 00:42:37,120
..I'm not interested anymore. Like,
I could take it or leave it. Mm.
580
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:40,040
But, erm...
581
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:44,920
I just...
582
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:46,240
..I don't know, well...
583
00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:49,160
..I'm really liking this.
584
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,280
I'm really, really liking this
and... Hm.
585
00:42:57,440 --> 00:42:58,520
..I just kind of, erm...
586
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:03,520
..I don't want to leave.
587
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:06,200
I, erm...
588
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:13,560
..I don't want to mess this up.
589
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:18,520
Let's not worry about kids.
590
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:20,920
We don't have to worry about kids,
591
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:21,960
This is...
592
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:24,400
..just about you and me.
593
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:28,840
This could be that 65 year thing.
594
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:32,680
This, this is the one.
595
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:47,320
Fucking hell.
596
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,160
Oh, my God.
597
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:56,080
I don't get you, I do not get it.
598
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:58,400
Are you telling me that all that
stuff you said to me,
599
00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:00,200
about how I make you feel?
600
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:01,720
You do. Right?
601
00:44:01,720 --> 00:44:04,480
And now you just want, you just want
to dash it all away?
602
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,320
That's not what I'm saying. Hm?
603
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:09,360
I can't carry on with you as if
nothing has happened,
604
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:11,960
things have changed for me.
605
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:17,360
And I feel like I can be OK, but I
need some time.
606
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:22,240
Honestly, I don't think I can be in
a relationship right now.
607
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:26,200
Can you understand that?
608
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:31,080
Isn't there a world, right, where I
can help with that?
609
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:35,600
I don't want you... I cannot rely on
someone else to get me through this.
610
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:38,200
I need to know that I've done it for
myself.
611
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:41,200
And I'm sorry, I know you want to be
the knight in shining armour,
612
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,760
and you want to just, you know, help
me pick up the pieces,
613
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:45,800
but to be honest, and that's...
614
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,160
..I don't mean to sound
disrespectful, but I need to...
615
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:50,880
I need you to understand why I need
to do this by myself.
616
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:53,520
I have to.
617
00:44:56,480 --> 00:45:04,480
PIANO MELODY PLAYS
618
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:26,840
MELODY CONTINUES
619
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:48,560
MELODY INTENSIFIES
620
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:16,360
MELODY FADES OUT
621
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:57,000
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