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[Radio reporter]
The I-10 Santa Monica Freeway
westbound is jammed,
4
00:00:33,772 --> 00:00:35,905
due to a three-car accident
blocking lanes 1 and 2
5
00:00:35,948 --> 00:00:37,646
just past Hoover Street.
6
00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:39,430
In Van Nuys, there'’s
stop-and-go traffic
7
00:00:39,474 --> 00:00:41,911
on the 405 southbound
from Victory Boulevard...
8
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:43,782
Hey. Loser.
Get up, you'’re late.
9
00:00:45,349 --> 00:00:47,482
Ow.I need money.
10
00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:48,787
For what?
11
00:00:48,831 --> 00:00:50,485
Food.
12
00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:55,316
[sighs]
13
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:00,843
I'’ve only got $2.00.
How much is a Happy Meal?
14
00:01:00,886 --> 00:01:02,105
[scoffs]
15
00:01:05,282 --> 00:01:07,458
Good morning, Thea.Oh, hi.
16
00:01:07,502 --> 00:01:09,808
There'’s this little
thing called rent.
Ring any bells?
17
00:01:09,852 --> 00:01:12,028
I'’ll give it to you Monday.
You have my word.
18
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,509
Could you put your word
on an actual check sometime?
19
00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:18,687
[bus approaches]
20
00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:27,522
♪ Shut your,
shut your mouth ♪
21
00:01:27,565 --> 00:01:30,699
♪ You better seize
this moment ♪
22
00:01:30,742 --> 00:01:34,050
♪ Let'’s don't dare disown ♪
23
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:38,185
♪ Let'’s make out ♪
24
00:01:38,228 --> 00:01:40,796
♪ I'’ll never ever get you ♪
25
00:01:40,839 --> 00:01:44,104
♪ Mrs. Complete Enigma
26
00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:47,368
♪ But you seem
to have your moments ♪
27
00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:51,633
♪ That really matters
28
00:01:54,853 --> 00:01:56,072
♪ Hey
29
00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:05,255
♪ Hey, I don'’t love you ♪
30
00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:08,867
♪ But I love,
love, love you ♪
31
00:02:08,911 --> 00:02:11,740
♪ And I don'’t miss you ♪
32
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:15,570
♪ But I miss,
miss, miss you ♪
33
00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:19,965
♪ Inconsistent
roller coaster ♪
34
00:02:20,009 --> 00:02:23,621
[Man] Whoo!
Look at that foxy momma!
35
00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:25,057
Hey.
36
00:02:25,101 --> 00:02:26,668
Hey, look.
37
00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:29,279
I, uh, I saved you
one of these.
38
00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:30,889
It wasn'’t easy.
These people are animals.
39
00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:33,327
Thanks. It'’s all downhill
after the doughnut.
40
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,329
Hey. Let'’s go
camping right now.
41
00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:36,721
[Man]
Can I get my coffee?
42
00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:38,158
Don'’t tempt me.
You know I can'’t.
43
00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:40,029
Come on. Don'’t be
such a buzz kill.
44
00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:41,248
Just call in sick
from work.
45
00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:42,727
Oh, Miles.
46
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:44,338
It was hard enough
getting Monday off.Hey.
47
00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:47,036
You really need to bail
on this lame job, babe.
48
00:02:47,079 --> 00:02:49,212
Well, bailing isn'’t exactly
in my vocabulary right now.
49
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:51,432
I gotta go.
I'’m late. I'm late. I'’m late.
50
00:02:57,438 --> 00:03:00,789
Alarm clock
on the fritz again?
51
00:03:00,832 --> 00:03:05,228
[phone ringing][Man] Thea! Thea!
52
00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:10,973
Four minutes
after 9, Thea.
53
00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:13,018
We agreed to 8:59.
54
00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:14,368
I know. I'’m sorry.
55
00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:15,673
I'’ve got your coffee,
piping hot.
56
00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:18,198
Greg already
got it for me.
57
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:20,069
All right.
Let'’s get started.
58
00:03:20,112 --> 00:03:22,593
I found two errors
in your transcription.
59
00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:27,076
Ur-Nammu,
the Mesopotamian ruler,
has a hyphen in his name.
60
00:03:27,119 --> 00:03:30,210
Are you sure?
I checked it in the Oxford
English Dictionary.
61
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,821
You should always
cross-reference with
the Military Encyclopedia.
62
00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:35,519
It is the definitive source.Absolutely right, Greg.
63
00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:38,566
Thea, the intern shouldn'’t
be more thorough than you.
64
00:03:38,609 --> 00:03:41,612
You have to remember that
every mistake you make
65
00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:43,527
impacts history.
You'’re right.
66
00:03:43,571 --> 00:03:44,963
I'’m sorry I didn't
give enough thought
67
00:03:45,007 --> 00:03:46,965
to the long-reaching impact
of a missing hyphen.
68
00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:50,142
Well, think of it next time.
Or someone else will.
69
00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:52,057
There are a million
people out there
70
00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:53,494
who'’d kill for your job.
71
00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:55,670
The secretary
to the publisher is a--
72
00:03:55,713 --> 00:03:57,280
It'’s a dream
for so many of us.
73
00:03:57,324 --> 00:04:00,065
I have a big project
for you.
74
00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:02,372
Maybe you can make up
for this morning'’s mistakes
75
00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:03,591
by acing this one.
76
00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,462
Okay.
What can I do for you?
77
00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:09,074
MacArthur
rolled in some poop.
78
00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:10,380
Again?
79
00:04:10,424 --> 00:04:11,990
She'’s got
one good eye, Thea.
80
00:04:12,034 --> 00:04:14,819
I don'’t appreciate
you taking that tone.
81
00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:17,518
Now.
82
00:04:17,561 --> 00:04:19,346
[whispers]
Hi, there.
83
00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:21,261
Let'’s really try
84
00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:24,438
and nail it this time,
shall we?
85
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,527
Good girl.
[yelps]
86
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:31,401
[whining]
87
00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:33,447
No way.
She rolled in poop again?
88
00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:34,796
Um-hmm.
89
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:36,667
How come Greg
never has to wash her?
90
00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:38,190
To be honest, I'’m just glad
91
00:04:38,234 --> 00:04:39,714
I don'’t have to wash
the poop off Greg
92
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:40,845
since he spends
most of his time
93
00:04:40,889 --> 00:04:42,064
with his head up Jerry'’s ass.
94
00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:43,370
Tell me about it.
95
00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:45,372
Last week he CC'’d me
on an email to Jerry
96
00:04:45,415 --> 00:04:48,549
complaining that I ordered
too many rainbow Post-Its.
97
00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,333
Said it creates
a party atmosphere.
98
00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:52,161
MacArthur.
Come here, MacArthur.
99
00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:53,902
MacArthur.
MacArthur.
100
00:04:53,945 --> 00:04:55,382
[MacArthur whimpering]
101
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,209
Do you think we'’ll
ever get out of here?
102
00:04:57,253 --> 00:04:58,820
[Lisa]
Well, how long till
103
00:04:58,863 --> 00:05:00,691
your little sister
graduates college again?
104
00:05:00,735 --> 00:05:02,911
Five years.
Five long years.
105
00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:05,609
[sighs] Wow.
106
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:07,742
When you finally
ditch this place,
I'’m gonna leave, too.
107
00:05:07,785 --> 00:05:09,526
I can'’t survive
this hellhole without you.
108
00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:11,136
And to be honest,
I don'’t even know
109
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:13,487
if I'’m gonna survive
Monday without you.
110
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:14,966
Your rainbow Post-Its
should help.
111
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:16,577
Ha ha ha ha.
112
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,361
Okay, just promise me
113
00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:20,232
that when you'’re
celebrating with Miles
114
00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:21,843
the big 2-5,
115
00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:22,887
you'’ll have
two extra shots for me.
116
00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:24,672
Done. Two for you,
117
00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:26,543
two for me,
and two for MacArthur.
118
00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:29,329
And cold beer chasers
and a sliced lime.
119
00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:32,027
Oh. Gets me right here.[chuckles]
120
00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:36,597
What is MacArthur eating?
121
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,773
Oh, that'’s not good.
Okay.
122
00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:40,601
Hold on.
No, no, no, that'’s soap.
123
00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:47,651
Well, Thea, you are
a sopping mess.
124
00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:50,480
I know. I'’m sorry.Well, don'’t apologize.
125
00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:53,135
This one has two staples.Yeah, and?
126
00:05:53,178 --> 00:05:54,745
It'’s bad feng shui.
127
00:05:54,789 --> 00:05:56,617
It might be nice
to give the agenda
128
00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:58,445
to the guy with
the disability first.
129
00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:00,577
Well, when I gave you
yours first last month,
130
00:06:00,621 --> 00:06:02,536
you reprimanded me for
giving you special treatment.
131
00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:04,059
Well,
I certainly don'’t like
132
00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:05,626
your giving me
special backtalk.
133
00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:08,193
Good morning, everyone.
Ready for Abbotts?
134
00:06:08,237 --> 00:06:10,065
[phone ringing]Oh, sorry.
135
00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:12,328
[Man on phone] Hey.
Let'’s have another round.
136
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,939
Uh, Johnny.
Johnny, my good man.
137
00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:17,246
How'’s the book coming? J.
138
00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:20,118
War. What is it good for?
139
00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:22,382
Apparently, lots
of things, Jerry.
140
00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:24,732
[laughs][whimpers]
141
00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:26,516
Uh, maybe if you could just
142
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,257
tell us what chapter
you'’re up to.
143
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,824
Sweet.
144
00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:31,478
Pigs in the blanket
for everybody on me!
145
00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:34,785
[dial tone] All right. Bye-bye, John.
146
00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:37,179
Hemingway used to
write in bars.
147
00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:39,660
Ah. Oh. We'’re so pleased
148
00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:41,662
you decided to bless us
with your presence, Nicky.
149
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:44,534
Sorry.
Uh, bad traffic.
150
00:06:44,578 --> 00:06:48,190
Hmm. Got hung up at
the divorce lawyer'’s office?
151
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:50,453
I kind of wanted that
to be private, Jerry.
152
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,281
Hmm, well, privacy is
for people who are on time.
153
00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:53,761
[clears throat]
154
00:06:53,804 --> 00:06:54,892
So how'’s
Abbotts'’ book coming?
155
00:06:54,936 --> 00:06:56,894
Well. Extremely well.
156
00:06:56,938 --> 00:06:59,984
There'’s a method
to his mad genius.
157
00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:03,771
And now we'’re ready
to go over the cost report,
158
00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:05,512
whenever you feel
like presenting it.
159
00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:07,688
Oh, okay.
160
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:10,560
Uh, sales for The Complete
History of Bullets
161
00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:12,040
are below projections.
162
00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:15,173
Uh, marketing says people
have been intimidated
163
00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:16,827
by the 1,400-page length.
164
00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:18,481
Well, there are a lot of
bullets in the world.
165
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,831
It'’s not like
we'’re making it up.
166
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:23,355
All right. Let'’s talk about
the next order of business.
167
00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:27,359
I'’ve given this
a lot of thought.
168
00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:29,187
[sighs]
169
00:07:29,231 --> 00:07:31,233
Next week'’s softball game.
170
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:34,802
Now, we'’re all tired
of losing to Presidio,
171
00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:37,152
so I'’m moving Garth
to shortstop.
172
00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:39,023
Finally.Actually, I'’m not
quite finished, Jerry.
173
00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:40,851
Nick, I'’ve already
told you.
174
00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:42,810
You'’re staying in left field.
We need you there.
175
00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:44,333
This isn'’t softball-related.
176
00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:46,814
You know our textbook writer
Suzie Cavendish?
177
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:48,076
Of course I know her.
178
00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:49,512
I read her new manuscript,
179
00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:51,209
and I thought
it was really good.
180
00:07:51,253 --> 00:07:53,690
How did you
get a manuscript?
181
00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:56,084
I ran into her at lunch,
and she told me about her book.
182
00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:57,520
You don't send
the accountant
your manuscript.
183
00:07:57,564 --> 00:07:59,217
Thanks for
your efforts, Nick.
184
00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:02,177
But I'’ve already told Suzie
it'’s not for us.
185
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:04,048
[MacArthur groaning,
whimpering]It'’s not our subject matter.
186
00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:06,398
Baby? What'’s wrong?
187
00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:10,925
MacArthur?
What'’s wrong with you?
188
00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:14,494
Come here. Baby.
What'’s wrong? What is wrong?
189
00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,060
[whining]Talk to Daddy.
190
00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:18,498
What happened?[retching]
191
00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:20,717
[continues retching][Woman] Eww.
192
00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:23,198
What did you feed her?
193
00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:25,896
I'’m so, so, so sorry
about your dog.
194
00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:28,943
I just scheduled
a full body scan
for MacArthur on Monday.
195
00:08:28,986 --> 00:08:30,379
Oh, well, I have
the day off Monday,
196
00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:31,554
but I'’ll take her
first thing Tuesday.
197
00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:32,816
Oh, you'’ll take her Monday.
198
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:34,035
But I asked
for this time off
199
00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:35,079
two months ago.
200
00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:36,559
It'’s just one day.
201
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:37,995
I promised my boyfriend
I'’d go camping with him
202
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,562
for his 25th birthday.
203
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:40,998
It'’s your boyfriend's
25th birthday?
204
00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:42,217
Yeah, it is.
205
00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:44,567
God, I-- I had no idea.
206
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,221
I'’m sorry.
207
00:08:46,264 --> 00:08:47,657
Why don'’t you take
the whole week off?
208
00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:49,572
Really?
No!
209
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:52,619
Okay. No problem.
210
00:08:52,662 --> 00:08:55,012
Come on, things
can'’t be that bad.
211
00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:57,711
Okay. Let'’s see
what I have to look
forward to in life.
212
00:08:57,754 --> 00:09:00,235
Washing my boss'’ dog.Mm-hmm.
213
00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:02,585
Blow-drying my boss'’ dog.Mmm. Um-hmm.
214
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,587
Taking my boss'’ dog
for a CAT scan.
215
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,371
I'’m officially
a pathetic loser.
216
00:09:06,415 --> 00:09:10,332
Well, at least we still
have Skittles and cigarettes.
217
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:14,249
Maybe you and Miles can
reschedule the weekend.
218
00:09:14,292 --> 00:09:16,599
[Thea] Oh, yeah.
I'’ll see if Miles can
reschedule his birthday
219
00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,470
to a day that'’ll
be good for Jerry.
220
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:20,385
You know, maybe Jerry'’s
on to something.
221
00:09:20,429 --> 00:09:22,126
Who needs
a significant other
222
00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:23,867
when you'’re dating
your own dog?
223
00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:25,216
Jerry'’s repulsive.
224
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,088
I mean, have you smelled
his breath lately?
225
00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:28,611
He'’s lucky he can get
a dog to date him.
226
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:29,830
You know, it'’s one thing
227
00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:31,614
if Jerry
is an undersexed jerk
228
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,355
who takes no joy in life,
229
00:09:33,398 --> 00:09:35,183
but why does he have to
make the rest of us that way?
230
00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:36,401
I hate him.
231
00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:41,493
In my office. Now!
232
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:44,888
You'’ve got some
pretty strong opinions
233
00:09:44,932 --> 00:09:46,281
about my personal choices.
234
00:09:46,324 --> 00:09:48,936
You find my relationship
with MacArthur
235
00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:50,241
something to deride?
236
00:09:50,285 --> 00:09:51,591
Not at all.
237
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,288
I totally respect
your devotion to animals.
238
00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:55,072
I think you'’re involvement
with PETA is inspiring.
239
00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:56,465
Don'’t bullshit me.
240
00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:58,119
I'’m sorry.
I didn'’t mean any of it.
241
00:09:58,162 --> 00:09:59,381
It was childish
and inexcusable,
242
00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:00,469
and it won'’t happen again.
243
00:10:00,512 --> 00:10:02,210
If you hate me so much,
244
00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:04,386
I don'’t really think
it'’s healthy for you
245
00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:05,779
to continue
working with me.
246
00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:07,737
P-Please, you can'’t do this.
247
00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:09,391
Watch me.But I need this job.
248
00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:11,654
Here I go.I'’m supporting
my little sister.
249
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:14,048
You'’re fired.But I'’m--
250
00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:15,179
You'’re what?
I'’m--
251
00:10:15,223 --> 00:10:16,485
You'’re...
252
00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:18,443
I'’m pregnant!Pregnant?
253
00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:21,838
Yes. Pregnant.
Totally pregnant.
254
00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:24,624
And the doctor
says that the chemicals
or hormones or whatever
255
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:28,062
are messing up my system
and you can'’t take anything
I say too seriously.
256
00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:30,934
Except for when I say
I'’m pregnant because,
you know, I am.
257
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:40,770
[Thea]
Oh, God.
258
00:10:40,814 --> 00:10:42,598
[no audible dialogue]
259
00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:51,694
[chuckles]When are you due?
260
00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:53,870
"Octember."
I mean, October.
261
00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:55,263
October what?
262
00:10:55,306 --> 00:10:56,873
Uh, probably the 6th.
263
00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,048
Could be the 7th,
could be the 8th.
264
00:10:58,092 --> 00:10:59,963
But fingers are crossed
for the 6th.
265
00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:01,791
I mean, by then
I'’ll just be, like,
"Get this thing out of me."
266
00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:03,880
You'’re almost
four months pregnant?
267
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:06,404
Yeah. Isn'’t that crazy?
268
00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:07,710
Feels like yesterday
I wasn'’t.
269
00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:10,278
But I was
because I'’m four months.
270
00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:12,802
The legal department
is backing your story
271
00:11:12,846 --> 00:11:15,805
about not being able
to fire a pregnant woman,
272
00:11:15,849 --> 00:11:19,113
no matter how much
she might deserve it.
273
00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:22,159
So get back to work.
274
00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:24,379
Thank you so much, Jerry.
275
00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:25,728
I really appreciate it.
276
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:27,469
Thank you.
From both of us.
277
00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:32,430
[gasps] Oh.
278
00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:34,389
Congratulations
on the baby.
279
00:11:34,432 --> 00:11:36,696
The entire legal
department is thrilled.
280
00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:38,741
Hey, why didn'’t you
tell me earlier?
281
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:40,090
Oh, I know.
282
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:41,483
Probably because
there'’s so much
283
00:11:41,526 --> 00:11:43,267
that can go horribly wrong.
284
00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:46,575
I mean, I'’m out of the woods.
But I do everything right.
285
00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:48,533
Anyway, so I'’m having
my baby first,
286
00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:49,926
not that it'’s a competition.
287
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:52,363
But I win.
[giggles]
288
00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:54,539
Anyway, no, really,
congratulations.
289
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,019
Oh, Thea!
290
00:11:56,063 --> 00:11:58,108
Oh, I'’m so excited
for you.
291
00:11:58,152 --> 00:12:00,110
No wonder you'’ve been
spacey lately.
292
00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:03,592
[Garth] What's going on?Oh, everybody,
Thea'’s pregnant!
293
00:12:03,635 --> 00:12:05,550
Don'’t look at me.
I never touched her.
294
00:12:05,594 --> 00:12:07,291
Never would have guessed.
You still look pretty sexy.
295
00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:09,772
[Lisa] Wow.Yeah.
I had to tell everyone.
296
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,295
Couldn'’t keep it
a secret any longer.
297
00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:12,601
No. Yes. Of course.
298
00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:14,559
How can you hide
that kind of thing?
299
00:12:14,603 --> 00:12:17,345
I should'’ve known.
My left knee'’s
been hurting.
300
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:19,564
When my knee hurts,
it usually means
someone'’s pregnant.
301
00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:22,350
Really?Yeah, or they'’re stuck
underwater in a car.
302
00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:24,395
But, anyway,
I'’m glad it's this.
303
00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:26,876
So who'’s the very
lucky fella?
304
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,096
Oh, you didn'’t tell 'em
the rest of the news?
305
00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:31,402
Thea and Miles are engaged.
306
00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:34,797
[all] Oh!Awesome.
307
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,930
That is so great.
308
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:39,584
I mean, I got married
before I got pregnant,
309
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:41,325
but, you know,
better late than never.
310
00:12:41,369 --> 00:12:43,066
Whoo-hoo! Yay for you.
311
00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:45,373
Yeah, I'’m-- I'm really
excited, everyone.
312
00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:46,809
Yeah, thrilled.
313
00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:48,332
Over the moon. Way over it.
314
00:12:58,125 --> 00:13:00,605
Pregnant.
It'’s brilliant.
315
00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:02,259
Where did you
come up with that?
316
00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:04,696
Oh, I saw it on
an episode of Law and Order.
317
00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:06,786
Yeah, you can'’t fire
a pregnant woman.
318
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:09,832
Discrimination, lawsuits,
bad mojo, whatever.
319
00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:12,182
Smart.
320
00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:13,793
By the way,
thanks for your help.
321
00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:15,055
Pregnant wasn'’t bad enough.
322
00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:16,752
I had to get engaged.
323
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,188
Well, I didn'’t want people
to think
324
00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:20,234
you were some kind
of wayward skank.
325
00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:22,018
Oh, is that what you think
of single mothers?
326
00:13:22,062 --> 00:13:23,672
No, of course not.
327
00:13:23,715 --> 00:13:25,630
I just happen to know that
a lot of people in the office
328
00:13:25,674 --> 00:13:27,458
think you'’re a wayward skank.
329
00:13:27,502 --> 00:13:29,112
And I thought this could
turn it around.
330
00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:30,853
Oh, thanks.
[sighs]
331
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,159
Crap, Lisa.
What am I gonna do?
332
00:13:32,202 --> 00:13:33,377
How am I gonna
get out of this?
333
00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:35,597
Can'’t we just say that,
you know,
334
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,860
something happened to,
uh, I don'’t know,
335
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,079
one of your tubes?
336
00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:40,776
Sprung a leak.
337
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,386
Do you have any idea
what you'’re talking about?
338
00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:44,214
Let'’s just go along
with it for a little while
339
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:46,782
and then we'’ll say
it was a false alarm.
340
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,175
That you thought
you were pregnant,
341
00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:50,264
but it turns out
you just had crabs.
342
00:13:50,307 --> 00:13:51,787
Eww.
343
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:00,665
I'’m so sorry, Em.
344
00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:02,929
I had a crazy day at work,
and I lost track of time.
345
00:14:02,972 --> 00:14:04,626
Am I too late?
346
00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:06,846
Well, the meeting was at 4,
and it'’s 5:00 now.
347
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:07,934
You do the math.
348
00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:11,763
I'’m really sorry.
349
00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:14,244
Have you been drinking?
350
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:17,030
I had a cocktail.
351
00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:19,206
Oh, come on. You'’re 17.
352
00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:20,816
You should be out
drinking and smoking.
353
00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:28,084
I promise I'’ll reschedule
354
00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:29,781
with your guidance counselor
next week.
355
00:14:29,825 --> 00:14:31,218
Don'’t bother.
356
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:32,436
I already met
with Miss Talbert,
357
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:33,611
and we discussed
my options.
358
00:14:33,655 --> 00:14:35,918
What options?
359
00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,528
Well, she suggested
I start taking
360
00:14:37,572 --> 00:14:39,574
some cooking classes
after school.
361
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:41,663
Well, you have tennis
after school.
362
00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:44,100
Yeah, but I'’m sick
of tennis.
363
00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:46,189
I was thinking
maybe I could go to
364
00:14:46,233 --> 00:14:48,278
the Culinary Institute
in San Francisco.
365
00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:49,845
No way.
366
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,586
You're staying right here
and going to UCLA.
367
00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:53,196
Tennis will cover
the tuition,
368
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,546
and I'’m busting my ass off
to cover the rest.
369
00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:56,852
I know.
370
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:57,984
You keep telling me
when Mom and Dad died
371
00:14:58,027 --> 00:14:59,681
we lost out on options.
372
00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:01,509
Just do me a favor.
Be a grownup
373
00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:03,728
and accept the hand
that you'’ve been dealt.
374
00:15:03,772 --> 00:15:05,774
So that'’s what you do?
375
00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:07,080
Yeah, that'’s what I do.
376
00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:08,603
Um, really?
377
00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:09,952
'’Cause you were at a bar
378
00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:11,606
instead of my
parent/teacher conference.
379
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:22,356
Oh, hello, Mr. Abbotts.
380
00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:25,185
Jerry? Jerry, where you?
381
00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:26,882
Mr. Abbotts,
can I help you?
382
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,102
Is there anything
to drink in this place
383
00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:31,843
or do I have to go to my car
and get my divining rod?
384
00:15:31,887 --> 00:15:33,367
Sir, I could
get you some water.
385
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:34,759
Why don'’t you do that,
soldier?
386
00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:36,761
Three parts Scotch,
one part water.
387
00:15:36,805 --> 00:15:38,024
Okay. Move, move, move!
388
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:39,939
Hey, soldier.
How are you there?
389
00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:41,897
What brings you
to the office?
390
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,812
Well, your brother
wants my book.
391
00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:45,074
Jerry'’s at lunch,
392
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,336
but Thea can take
your manuscript for you.
393
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:48,034
Who'’s Thea?
394
00:15:48,077 --> 00:15:49,470
She'’s Jerry's
secretary, John.
395
00:15:49,513 --> 00:15:51,124
You talk to her
every day.Yeah.
396
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:53,082
Uh, and congratulations
are probably in order.
397
00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:55,128
Thea just got good news.
She'’s having a baby.
398
00:15:55,171 --> 00:15:58,566
Well, she looks like
she'’s strong stock.
399
00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:01,525
Maybe she can give us
a strong future Marine.
400
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:07,401
Thea, do you have a minute?
So, uh, how are you?
401
00:16:07,444 --> 00:16:10,578
Fine, thanks. You?Oh, I'’m fine.
402
00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:14,538
But I'’m not the one with
a magical bundle of joy
growing inside of me.
403
00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:17,628
So no morning sickness?
No bloating?
404
00:16:17,672 --> 00:16:20,588
No. Nuh-unh.
Guess I'’m just
really lucky.
405
00:16:20,631 --> 00:16:22,807
A little too lucky,
if you ask me.Yeah.
406
00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:25,810
[sighs] And, uh, where--
where is your ring?
407
00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:30,946
Well, we--Her fiancé is saving up
for her ring.
408
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,601
You know, it'’s not
very nice to try to
embarrass people.
409
00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:37,083
So why don'’t you get back
to lying about yourself
on your dating websites?
410
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:42,610
Don'’t worry about him.
He doesn'’t know anything.
411
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:43,698
He'’s an idiot.
412
00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,047
And I'’m sure
413
00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:46,266
[shouting]
Greg is still a virgin!
414
00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:48,616
[Woman]
Let'’s go, Jerry.
415
00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:50,052
[cheering]
416
00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:52,663
You'’re out.
Hey, watch it!
417
00:16:52,707 --> 00:16:54,839
Dumb ass!
418
00:16:54,883 --> 00:16:56,276
[Woman]
Come on, Nick!
419
00:16:56,319 --> 00:16:57,842
Come on, Nick!
You can do it.
420
00:16:57,886 --> 00:17:00,541
[MacArthur whimpering][cheering]
421
00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:03,587
Come on, Nick![Man]
Get us a hit.
422
00:17:03,631 --> 00:17:06,764
Get us a hit.
Come on.
423
00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:09,202
Hit it!Oww!Ball.
424
00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:11,421
Take your base.
425
00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:12,683
Take a base.[Man]
He got on base!
426
00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:14,946
Come on!
427
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:17,036
Come on, Thea.
Let'’s go, Thea.
428
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:20,735
[cheering]
429
00:17:20,778 --> 00:17:21,953
Go, go, go!
430
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:24,434
Go, go!
431
00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:26,915
Come on, come on,
come on!
432
00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:29,178
Go home!Come on!
433
00:17:29,222 --> 00:17:31,137
Safe!
[cheering]
434
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:34,270
Whoo.
Are you okay?
435
00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:35,532
Yeah, I'’m great.
436
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,273
Way to go, Thea.
437
00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:38,970
Come on, Colonel.
You can do it.
438
00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:41,799
Yeah!Nicely done! That was great.
439
00:17:41,843 --> 00:17:43,453
Uh, Thea?Yeah?
440
00:17:43,497 --> 00:17:45,499
Kristen?
Yes.
441
00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:47,631
Come here, please.
442
00:17:47,675 --> 00:17:50,591
You shouldn'’t be
playing in your condition.
443
00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:53,028
What condition?
Um, your baby,
dum-dum.
444
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,030
[Garth] Lisa, could you get
your ass out on base, please?Oh, yeah.
445
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,772
That'’s right.
Of course.We are taking you out.
446
00:17:57,815 --> 00:18:00,079
For the season.Yes.
447
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:02,516
[sighs]All season.
448
00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:04,909
[Garth] Yeah, Colonel![Jerry] Pull the trigger
on it, Colonel!
449
00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:06,737
[cheering]
450
00:18:06,781 --> 00:18:08,652
Hey, thanks for the RBI.
451
00:18:08,696 --> 00:18:10,350
Yeah, well,
no more RBIs.
452
00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:12,961
Jerry says I'’m a liability,
so I can'’t play.
453
00:18:13,004 --> 00:18:14,528
'’Cause I'm pregnant.
454
00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:16,182
Well, sounds like
the most reasonable opinion
455
00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:18,053
he'’s had in years.
456
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:21,578
[cheering]
457
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:28,759
Yes!
458
00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:34,374
[barking]
459
00:18:37,812 --> 00:18:38,943
[barking, yelp]
460
00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:40,554
[all] Aah!Oh!
461
00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:42,208
MacArthur?
462
00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:43,513
Get off!
463
00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:45,602
Call an ambulance!Oh, it'’s okay.
464
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:46,690
I'’m coming for you, baby.[barking]
465
00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:48,214
Daddy'’s got you.
466
00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:49,693
[Man]
...on earth,
as it is in heaven.
467
00:18:56,004 --> 00:18:58,441
I need a copy
of Abbotts'’ manuscript.
468
00:18:58,485 --> 00:18:59,486
I'’m going to read it
in the car
469
00:18:59,529 --> 00:19:01,227
on the way to his funeral.
470
00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:03,533
What? You'’ve never seen
a manuscript on napkins before?
471
00:19:03,577 --> 00:19:05,622
When genius strikes,
you write it down.
472
00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:07,711
Do it now.Okay.
473
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:16,155
Oh, Thea,
should you still
be using the copier?
474
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:19,201
Copy machines emit
electro-magnetic waves.
475
00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:20,811
And what does that do?
476
00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:22,639
Well, no one knows yet.
477
00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:24,815
But I'’ve been reading
on the message boards,
478
00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:26,556
and it seems like
something you should avoid
479
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,645
if you'’re trying to have
a well pregnancy.
480
00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:30,212
I think it should be okay.
481
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:31,561
Oh, good.
482
00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:33,259
Well, if it
doesn'’t bother you,
483
00:19:33,302 --> 00:19:36,131
then can you make 50 copies
of that for me?
484
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,480
Thank you.
485
00:19:40,048 --> 00:19:42,355
You know, I find it
fascinating that Kristen
486
00:19:42,398 --> 00:19:44,270
is only a month
further along than you
487
00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:45,880
and yet she'’s the size
of a school bus,
488
00:19:45,923 --> 00:19:48,317
while you'’re still over here
looking like Kate Moss.
489
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:51,059
Uh, different strokes,
I guess.
490
00:19:51,102 --> 00:19:53,409
Perhaps it'’s easier
to feel the bump,
491
00:19:53,453 --> 00:19:55,106
than to see it.
492
00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:56,456
What'’s the big deal?
493
00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:58,153
Everyone likes to touch
a pregnant stomach.
494
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,721
Because you'’re
a gross weirdo, Greg.
495
00:20:00,764 --> 00:20:02,418
Hmm.
496
00:20:02,462 --> 00:20:05,029
And the baby doesn'’t like
gross weirdoes, Greg.
497
00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:08,250
[inhales sharply]
Hmm?
498
00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:10,513
Okay. Um, you and me
are going shopping
after work.
499
00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:24,614
What on earth are you doing?
500
00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:26,399
I'’m stealing you
a belly.
501
00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:27,661
What?
Shh!
502
00:20:27,704 --> 00:20:29,445
You'’re four months
pregnant,
503
00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:31,404
and you'’ve got the abs
of a GQswimsuit model.
504
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:33,188
Shh. Cover me.Okay.
505
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,798
Look--Oh, my G--
506
00:20:34,842 --> 00:20:36,017
If you want people
to think you'’re pregnant,
507
00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:37,279
you gotta start
talking the talk
508
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:40,587
and walking the...waddle.
509
00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:43,807
I don'’t know
if I can do this.
510
00:20:43,851 --> 00:20:45,069
You can do this.
511
00:20:45,113 --> 00:20:46,288
Just do it for a week.
512
00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:47,637
But you gotta look
the part
513
00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:48,638
or people are gonna
get suspicious.
514
00:20:50,814 --> 00:20:52,294
I look ridiculous.
515
00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:54,992
These jeans are
elastic on the top.
516
00:20:55,036 --> 00:20:57,299
I feel like I'’m wearing
a condom on my stomach.
517
00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:59,214
Trust me.
518
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,911
You don'’t look like you've
been anywhere near a condom.
519
00:21:00,955 --> 00:21:02,565
Gross.
520
00:21:02,609 --> 00:21:04,132
Did you know that
when women are in labor,
521
00:21:04,175 --> 00:21:05,873
they sometimes poop?
522
00:21:05,916 --> 00:21:07,309
Eww.
523
00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:09,398
Have you ever heard
of an episiotomy?
524
00:21:09,442 --> 00:21:11,270
Ehh.
Or cankles?
525
00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:12,880
Ohh.
526
00:21:12,923 --> 00:21:16,100
Well, we should get this
as a reference.
527
00:21:16,144 --> 00:21:18,146
I thought this whole thing
was going to blow over
in a few days.
528
00:21:18,189 --> 00:21:19,800
Well, it will,
but until then,
529
00:21:19,843 --> 00:21:21,889
you should know
the ins and outs
of being preggers.
530
00:21:21,932 --> 00:21:23,673
I mean, there'’s
a whole world of stuff here
531
00:21:23,717 --> 00:21:25,371
you know absolutely
nothing about.
532
00:21:25,414 --> 00:21:27,373
Yeah, and I'’d kind of
like to keep it that way.
533
00:21:27,416 --> 00:21:29,375
Eww!
534
00:21:29,418 --> 00:21:30,593
Look at those nipples.
535
00:21:30,637 --> 00:21:32,421
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
536
00:21:32,465 --> 00:21:34,510
What?Here. Here.
537
00:21:34,554 --> 00:21:36,599
No, no, no, no!
Can I keep the stomach
at your house?
538
00:21:36,643 --> 00:21:38,035
No, that'’s like keeping
your arm at my house.
539
00:21:38,079 --> 00:21:39,863
It'’s your stomach.
It stays with you.
540
00:21:39,907 --> 00:21:41,474
I don'’t want Emma to find out.
I don'’t want Emma to find out.
541
00:21:41,517 --> 00:21:43,258
She hates when I lie.You lie all the time.
542
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:45,434
No, really.It stays with you.
543
00:21:45,478 --> 00:21:47,131
It'’s your stomach.Uhh.
544
00:21:57,707 --> 00:21:59,274
[knocking]
545
00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:00,623
Hey, can I get a little
privacy in here?
546
00:22:00,667 --> 00:22:01,885
What are you
doing in there?
547
00:22:01,929 --> 00:22:03,104
Can I just come in
for a second?
548
00:22:03,147 --> 00:22:04,584
I'’m trying
to talk to you.
549
00:22:04,627 --> 00:22:06,281
It doesn'’t matter
what I'’m doing right now.
550
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:07,891
I am busy right now.
Shoo!
551
00:22:11,242 --> 00:22:13,375
Morning, Thea.
Got my check?
552
00:22:13,419 --> 00:22:17,161
Wow, look at you.
553
00:22:17,205 --> 00:22:18,946
Yeah, look at me.
554
00:22:18,989 --> 00:22:20,556
Oh, it'’s not what--Oh, geez.
555
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,906
I mean, you'’ve obviously
got a lot on your plate.
556
00:22:22,950 --> 00:22:24,734
Um, I'’m sorry
about the other day.
557
00:22:24,778 --> 00:22:26,083
Don'’t worry
about the rent check.
558
00:22:26,127 --> 00:22:28,129
Take another week or two.
559
00:22:28,172 --> 00:22:30,087
You just take care
of yourself.
560
00:22:30,131 --> 00:22:33,395
Oh, my God.
561
00:22:33,439 --> 00:22:35,397
Oh, how exciting!
562
00:22:35,441 --> 00:22:37,747
I have so much baby stuff
I can lend you.
563
00:22:37,791 --> 00:22:39,445
Just let me know
if you need to borrow
my old breast pump.
564
00:22:39,488 --> 00:22:41,534
I just have to rinse it.Okay.
565
00:22:51,108 --> 00:22:54,416
♪ Ooh, yeah
566
00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:58,028
♪ Ooh, yeah
567
00:22:58,072 --> 00:23:01,075
♪ Ooh, yeah
568
00:23:01,118 --> 00:23:03,947
My favorite lubricant, Ann?
WD-40.
569
00:23:03,991 --> 00:23:05,645
Oh, Thea.
570
00:23:05,688 --> 00:23:07,821
I made some brownies
for you to fatten you up.
571
00:23:07,864 --> 00:23:09,605
Oh, thank you.You popped!
572
00:23:09,649 --> 00:23:12,434
Yeah, well, once you pop,
you can'’t stop.
573
00:23:12,478 --> 00:23:15,002
Oh, well, you'’re carrying low.
It'’s definitely a boy.
574
00:23:15,045 --> 00:23:16,830
Well, whatever it is,
you'’ve obviously begun
575
00:23:16,873 --> 00:23:19,006
that slippery slide
into obesity.
576
00:23:19,049 --> 00:23:21,269
Ah, well, you had
a nice run there,
didn'’t you, champ?
577
00:23:21,312 --> 00:23:22,575
Yeah, thanks.
578
00:23:22,618 --> 00:23:25,142
Oh. Good morning.
579
00:23:25,186 --> 00:23:27,014
[whispers]
Look at you.
580
00:23:27,057 --> 00:23:29,582
Oh, my God.
I think I just
felt it kick.
581
00:23:29,625 --> 00:23:32,193
Oh. Yeah, mark it
in the baby journal
for me, will you?
582
00:23:32,236 --> 00:23:33,760
I will.
583
00:23:33,803 --> 00:23:35,326
Are people buying it?
584
00:23:35,370 --> 00:23:36,502
Totally. Totally.
585
00:23:36,545 --> 00:23:38,155
Ann made me brownies.
586
00:23:38,199 --> 00:23:40,244
I got a seat
on the bus today.
587
00:23:40,288 --> 00:23:41,594
And Garth is not
attracted to me anymore.
588
00:23:41,637 --> 00:23:43,160
Oh.
I know.
589
00:23:43,204 --> 00:23:44,858
It'’s been the best morning
I'’ve had in years.
590
00:23:44,901 --> 00:23:46,729
Okay, you want to hear
something even more amazing?
591
00:23:46,773 --> 00:23:48,949
Have you read
Abbotts'’ new manuscript?
592
00:23:48,992 --> 00:23:50,733
I get asked to Xerox,
not to read.
593
00:23:50,777 --> 00:23:53,606
Okay, get ready to have
your mind blown.
594
00:23:53,649 --> 00:23:57,392
Uh, "Philip of Macedon
had a hard-on.
595
00:23:57,436 --> 00:24:00,047
Scaled great peaks
to conquer the Greeks."
596
00:24:00,090 --> 00:24:02,658
It'’s all rhyming couplets
and dirty limericks.
597
00:24:02,702 --> 00:24:05,356
And this is what Jerry'’s
betting the bank on.
598
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,489
It'’s insane.
599
00:24:07,533 --> 00:24:08,708
Oh, you'’re welcome.
600
00:24:08,751 --> 00:24:11,754
[chatter]
601
00:24:11,798 --> 00:24:13,930
You look different.
602
00:24:13,974 --> 00:24:15,454
Sorry, I'’ll move you
to the shady corner
603
00:24:15,497 --> 00:24:16,716
in just a second, sir.
604
00:24:16,759 --> 00:24:18,805
It'’s all right, dear.
605
00:24:18,848 --> 00:24:20,720
You'’ve got
your hands full.
606
00:24:20,763 --> 00:24:22,504
You'’ve exploded.
607
00:24:22,548 --> 00:24:25,115
Why yes, she has.
608
00:24:25,159 --> 00:24:27,509
[clears throat]
609
00:24:27,553 --> 00:24:28,989
Well, people,
610
00:24:29,032 --> 00:24:30,643
I'’m sure you'll be
relieved to hear
611
00:24:30,686 --> 00:24:34,037
that MacArthur is expected
to make a full recovery.
612
00:24:34,081 --> 00:24:36,779
I'’ve gotten her a spot
at the McElroy Center
613
00:24:36,823 --> 00:24:39,347
for Veterinary Rehabilitation
in Bethesda.
614
00:24:39,390 --> 00:24:41,523
It'’s the best
in the country.
615
00:24:41,567 --> 00:24:43,917
They tell me
she should be at 90%
616
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,310
tail-wagging capability
after just six weeks.
617
00:24:46,354 --> 00:24:48,965
I'’m going to be
out of the office
for a little while.
618
00:24:49,009 --> 00:24:50,880
I'’ll be working out of
the rehab center in Bethesda
619
00:24:50,924 --> 00:24:52,360
where I'’ve taken a room
620
00:24:52,403 --> 00:24:54,101
for the duration
of MacArthur'’s stay.
621
00:24:54,144 --> 00:24:55,972
Until I get back,
622
00:24:56,016 --> 00:24:57,844
Nicky will be
holding down the fort.
623
00:24:57,887 --> 00:24:59,454
I'’ll be giving him
strict instructions
624
00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:00,934
not to do
anything stupid.
625
00:25:00,977 --> 00:25:02,196
[Garth]
Code Red.
626
00:25:02,239 --> 00:25:03,937
Seriously, Nick,
627
00:25:03,980 --> 00:25:06,200
don'’t blow it.
628
00:25:08,985 --> 00:25:10,160
Check it out.
629
00:25:10,204 --> 00:25:11,858
There'’s our fearless leader
630
00:25:11,901 --> 00:25:14,556
plotting
our brilliant future.
631
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,340
Well, at least,
with him in charge
632
00:25:16,384 --> 00:25:17,559
I'’m off the hook.
633
00:25:17,603 --> 00:25:20,040
Well, things are
looking up.
634
00:25:20,083 --> 00:25:22,172
Okay, let'’s figure out
how to get me out of this mess.
635
00:25:22,216 --> 00:25:23,870
I'’m going to Google
what kind of mishaps
636
00:25:23,913 --> 00:25:25,524
can happen
when you'’re pregnant.
637
00:25:25,567 --> 00:25:28,048
Hi, guys.
Sorry to bother you.
638
00:25:28,091 --> 00:25:29,484
Uh, you'’re the boss
now, Nick.
639
00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:30,703
You can bother us
anytime you want.
640
00:25:30,746 --> 00:25:33,053
Right.
641
00:25:33,096 --> 00:25:35,882
Um, Thea, I kind of
need a favor.
642
00:25:35,925 --> 00:25:37,361
Would you--
Would you come with me?
643
00:25:38,928 --> 00:25:41,278
We'’re meeting
Suzie Cavendish.
644
00:25:41,322 --> 00:25:42,715
You may remember.
645
00:25:42,758 --> 00:25:44,194
I mentioned her
in the meeting last week.
646
00:25:44,238 --> 00:25:47,371
You see, Suzie'’s written
this hilarious book
647
00:25:47,415 --> 00:25:48,764
about pregnancy.
648
00:25:48,808 --> 00:25:50,984
It'’s true stories
about pregnant women
649
00:25:51,027 --> 00:25:52,551
getting stuck in bathtubs
650
00:25:52,594 --> 00:25:55,292
and throwing up
under their desks at work.
651
00:25:55,336 --> 00:25:57,556
And farting by mistake
in meetings.
652
00:25:57,599 --> 00:25:59,949
Stuff you must know
a lot more about than me.
653
00:25:59,993 --> 00:26:01,255
Obviously.
654
00:26:01,298 --> 00:26:03,910
Yeah, totally.
Totally.
655
00:26:03,953 --> 00:26:05,564
I mean, I'’m trying
really, really hard
656
00:26:05,607 --> 00:26:06,869
not to fart right now.
657
00:26:06,913 --> 00:26:08,262
Anyway,
658
00:26:08,305 --> 00:26:10,394
I want to publish
Suzie'’s book.
659
00:26:10,438 --> 00:26:13,223
And while Jerry'’s gone,
I'’m going to do it.
660
00:26:13,267 --> 00:26:15,617
You know, carpe diem
and all that stuff.
661
00:26:15,661 --> 00:26:17,184
Yeah, definitely.
662
00:26:17,227 --> 00:26:18,794
I actually used to be
663
00:26:18,838 --> 00:26:21,057
a pretty carpe diem-
type person myself.
664
00:26:21,101 --> 00:26:22,798
But not anymore.
665
00:26:22,842 --> 00:26:24,017
Because I'’m pregnant.
666
00:26:24,060 --> 00:26:25,888
Well, you see,
that'’s just it.
667
00:26:25,932 --> 00:26:27,237
Suzie'’s not convinced
that Steinwald'’s
668
00:26:27,281 --> 00:26:28,717
the right place for her book,
669
00:26:28,761 --> 00:26:32,286
so I thought you might
help convince her otherwise.
670
00:26:32,329 --> 00:26:33,896
Yeah, sure.
671
00:26:33,940 --> 00:26:35,071
I mean, I'’ll just
talk to her about
672
00:26:35,115 --> 00:26:37,334
the whole farting thing.
673
00:26:39,815 --> 00:26:41,164
One thing.
674
00:26:41,208 --> 00:26:43,210
Uh, Suzie kind of thinks
you'’re an editor.
675
00:26:43,253 --> 00:26:45,778
Why would she think that?[whispers]
I kind of implied it.
676
00:26:45,821 --> 00:26:47,214
What?
Suzie!
677
00:26:47,257 --> 00:26:48,737
Hi.
678
00:26:48,781 --> 00:26:50,652
Nice to see you.Good to see you.
679
00:26:50,696 --> 00:26:54,656
Most pregnancy books
make you feel
totally inadequate
680
00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:57,311
and how
you'’re destined to be
a failure as a parent.
681
00:26:57,354 --> 00:27:00,009
No one writes about
what pregnancy is
really like.
682
00:27:00,053 --> 00:27:02,403
How you feel fat
and clumsy and stupid.
683
00:27:02,446 --> 00:27:04,361
The absolute worst
684
00:27:04,405 --> 00:27:06,581
is What to Expect
When You'’re Expecting.
685
00:27:06,625 --> 00:27:08,104
Have you read that?
686
00:27:08,148 --> 00:27:09,976
Oh, no.
687
00:27:10,019 --> 00:27:12,848
I was told it was so bad
I shouldn'’t even go near it.
688
00:27:12,892 --> 00:27:15,198
So what are you reading?
689
00:27:15,242 --> 00:27:17,548
Uh...
690
00:27:17,592 --> 00:27:20,290
you know,
just the usual suspects.
691
00:27:20,334 --> 00:27:21,814
Like?
692
00:27:21,857 --> 00:27:24,860
Well, I was
banking on finding
693
00:27:24,904 --> 00:27:26,209
Pregnancy For Dummies.
694
00:27:26,253 --> 00:27:28,690
I love that series. Yeah.
695
00:27:28,734 --> 00:27:30,866
Hmm. Interesting.
696
00:27:30,910 --> 00:27:31,954
Come on, Nicky.
697
00:27:31,998 --> 00:27:33,695
How can you guys
sell my book
698
00:27:33,739 --> 00:27:35,697
if you'’re not even familiar
with the competition?
699
00:27:35,741 --> 00:27:38,352
Well, Thea has
had a pretty full
workload lately.
700
00:27:38,395 --> 00:27:40,746
I don'’t know, guys.
701
00:27:40,789 --> 00:27:44,358
I don'’t know if this
is the right marriage.
I mean, come on.
702
00:27:44,401 --> 00:27:46,577
From the people
who brought you the
Kalashnikov diaries
703
00:27:46,621 --> 00:27:49,189
comes a comedic send-up
of 21st Century pregnancy?
704
00:27:49,232 --> 00:27:52,235
It'’s just the right home
is so important.
705
00:27:52,279 --> 00:27:54,237
I know. Suzie, we are
the right home.
706
00:27:54,281 --> 00:27:57,937
I mean, sure our plumbing
is a little leaky,
707
00:27:57,980 --> 00:28:01,070
and, uh, maybe we need
a new paint job.
708
00:28:01,114 --> 00:28:03,029
But our backyard
is a really great place
709
00:28:03,072 --> 00:28:04,683
for a barbeque in the summer.
710
00:28:04,726 --> 00:28:07,337
You know?
711
00:28:07,381 --> 00:28:09,905
Look, if we can
make a bestseller
712
00:28:09,949 --> 00:28:12,908
out of The Defeat
of Darius III at Isis,
we'’ve got to be good.
713
00:28:12,952 --> 00:28:15,955
I mean, that couldn'’t
be easy, right?
Absolutely.
714
00:28:15,998 --> 00:28:17,478
Yeah, and the thing
about pregnancy is
715
00:28:17,521 --> 00:28:19,349
it'’s incredibly messy.
716
00:28:19,393 --> 00:28:21,003
And those other books
are teaching you
717
00:28:21,047 --> 00:28:22,744
how to avoid the mess.
718
00:28:22,788 --> 00:28:23,963
Well, you'’re embracing
the mess.
719
00:28:24,006 --> 00:28:26,095
And you'’ve written
an incredible,
720
00:28:26,139 --> 00:28:29,533
insightful, hilarious,
controversial manifesto.
721
00:28:29,577 --> 00:28:32,058
And just--
just give us a shot.
722
00:28:32,101 --> 00:28:33,755
It has bestseller
written all over it.
723
00:28:33,799 --> 00:28:35,888
We promise
we won'’t let you down.
724
00:28:38,368 --> 00:28:39,500
So you'’ve read it?
725
00:28:39,543 --> 00:28:41,937
Oh, I live it.
Love it. Every day.
726
00:28:41,981 --> 00:28:46,202
Let me think about it.
727
00:28:46,246 --> 00:28:48,204
Hey, I'’m starting
a new birthing class
tomorrow.
728
00:28:48,248 --> 00:28:50,250
Maybe Thea could take off
early and come with me.
729
00:28:50,293 --> 00:28:51,599
Oh, absolutely.
She'’ll be there.
730
00:28:51,642 --> 00:28:53,819
And bring your partner.
731
00:28:53,862 --> 00:28:55,646
Uh, her fiancé.
732
00:28:55,690 --> 00:28:56,996
Miles, right?
733
00:28:57,039 --> 00:28:58,345
Yeah.
734
00:28:58,388 --> 00:28:59,912
Could you excuse me
for a second?
735
00:28:59,955 --> 00:29:01,348
Yes.
736
00:29:08,659 --> 00:29:10,357
Vodka, straight up.
737
00:29:16,711 --> 00:29:17,712
Thanks.
738
00:29:25,198 --> 00:29:26,765
You okay?
739
00:29:26,808 --> 00:29:29,332
I just set the world record
for bullshitting.
740
00:29:29,376 --> 00:29:30,420
What happened?
741
00:29:30,464 --> 00:29:31,987
Long story.
742
00:29:32,031 --> 00:29:35,686
The point is I can'’t
handle doing it again.
743
00:29:35,730 --> 00:29:36,775
A promotion?
744
00:29:36,818 --> 00:29:39,038
You are
the new associate editor
745
00:29:39,081 --> 00:29:40,996
of our brand-new
family division.
746
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:42,519
Family division?
747
00:29:42,563 --> 00:29:43,999
Suzie just called.
748
00:29:44,043 --> 00:29:45,696
She wants to give us
a shot thanks to you.
749
00:29:45,740 --> 00:29:48,134
Now Suzie'’s book will
launch our new division.
750
00:29:48,177 --> 00:29:50,832
It'’s a perfect opportunity
to capture a new demographic
751
00:29:50,876 --> 00:29:53,269
and help the company
to grow vertically and--
752
00:29:53,313 --> 00:29:56,533
Nick, look.
There'’s something
I need to tell you.
753
00:29:57,883 --> 00:29:59,536
This whole thing
is a big lie
754
00:29:59,580 --> 00:30:00,929
and I feel really terrible
755
00:30:00,973 --> 00:30:02,844
but I'’m not really--An editor?
756
00:30:02,888 --> 00:30:04,324
I know.
757
00:30:04,367 --> 00:30:06,195
I'’m the one who
forced you to lie.
758
00:30:06,239 --> 00:30:07,370
Which as a rule,
isn'’t great.
759
00:30:07,414 --> 00:30:08,719
But what'’s not a lie,
760
00:30:08,763 --> 00:30:10,634
is that you did
really good today.
761
00:30:10,678 --> 00:30:12,288
There'’s so many people
more qualified.
762
00:30:12,332 --> 00:30:13,899
So many people!
763
00:30:13,942 --> 00:30:15,074
In ways you don'’t
even know.
764
00:30:15,117 --> 00:30:16,336
Thea,
765
00:30:16,379 --> 00:30:18,251
to be a good editor,
all you need
766
00:30:18,294 --> 00:30:19,948
is a feel
for the material.
767
00:30:19,992 --> 00:30:21,167
It'’s what my father had
768
00:30:21,210 --> 00:30:22,559
when he started
this company.
769
00:30:22,603 --> 00:30:24,213
And it'’s what
you obviously have.
770
00:30:24,257 --> 00:30:26,346
You'’re living through
the thrills and challenges
771
00:30:26,389 --> 00:30:27,869
of starting a family
right now.
772
00:30:27,913 --> 00:30:29,436
What about Kristen?
773
00:30:29,479 --> 00:30:30,524
She'’s pregnant.
774
00:30:30,567 --> 00:30:32,308
Obviously, I am too,
775
00:30:32,352 --> 00:30:33,919
but she'’s-- she's--
she'’s really pregnant.
776
00:30:33,962 --> 00:30:35,964
First of all,
Kristen'’s a lawyer,
777
00:30:36,008 --> 00:30:38,793
without a creative bone
in her body.
778
00:30:38,837 --> 00:30:41,013
And then there'’s
the indisputable fact
779
00:30:41,056 --> 00:30:42,797
that she'’s
a complete weirdo.
780
00:30:42,841 --> 00:30:44,930
Oh. Look, Nick,
781
00:30:44,973 --> 00:30:46,627
I mean, I see your point.
782
00:30:46,670 --> 00:30:48,498
I do.
And I want to help.
783
00:30:48,542 --> 00:30:51,240
But I just...
784
00:30:51,284 --> 00:30:52,546
I-- I can'’t.
785
00:30:52,589 --> 00:30:54,765
Thea, I'’m not
your accountant.
786
00:30:54,809 --> 00:30:57,246
But the other thing
you should know is that
787
00:30:57,290 --> 00:31:00,249
associate editors
make a lot more money
than secretaries.
788
00:31:00,293 --> 00:31:01,947
A lot?
789
00:31:01,990 --> 00:31:04,427
Let'’s just say you'll
have your own secretary
790
00:31:04,471 --> 00:31:05,820
and your own office.
791
00:31:05,864 --> 00:31:09,302
So are you my new
associate editor?
792
00:31:09,345 --> 00:31:10,738
[sighs]
I guess I am.
793
00:31:10,781 --> 00:31:12,305
Great.
794
00:31:14,698 --> 00:31:16,526
War Stories From
the Pregnancy Front,
795
00:31:16,570 --> 00:31:18,093
by Suzie Cavendish.
796
00:31:18,137 --> 00:31:20,922
You loved it.
You live it.
797
00:31:20,966 --> 00:31:22,576
You should
probably read it.
798
00:31:22,619 --> 00:31:23,925
I do.
I agree with that.
799
00:31:23,969 --> 00:31:26,188
I agree with
what you'’re saying.
800
00:31:26,232 --> 00:31:28,495
I think if you have
your colon health,
you do have everything.
801
00:31:28,538 --> 00:31:29,931
But I do-- I thought
it interesting
802
00:31:29,975 --> 00:31:32,194
when you said we are
actually going wrong.
803
00:31:32,238 --> 00:31:33,935
Going wrong.
And we should be
804
00:31:33,979 --> 00:31:36,764
sort of on the seat
like a gargoyle,
805
00:31:36,807 --> 00:31:39,071
as opposed to just
sitting...
806
00:31:39,114 --> 00:31:40,942
[sighs]
Not now, Miles.
807
00:31:40,986 --> 00:31:42,770
Aw, come on.
808
00:31:42,813 --> 00:31:45,468
Don'’t you know enough about
being fake pregnant already?
809
00:31:45,512 --> 00:31:48,036
How can this be
this big of a deal?
810
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,299
I mean, come on,
you do the nasty,
811
00:31:50,343 --> 00:31:51,518
you get knocked up,
812
00:31:51,561 --> 00:31:53,476
you inflate, and then
813
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,565
eight, nine months later--
nine months?
814
00:31:55,609 --> 00:31:57,393
Nine months later,
you shoot that puppy out.
815
00:31:57,437 --> 00:32:00,527
I mean, how can there
be 8 million books
about this?
816
00:32:00,570 --> 00:32:02,659
Just promise me
you won'’t write one.
817
00:32:02,703 --> 00:32:04,226
Okay.
818
00:32:04,270 --> 00:32:06,272
If you promise me you'’re
still on birth control.
819
00:32:06,315 --> 00:32:07,621
Believe me, I am.
820
00:32:07,664 --> 00:32:09,753
Oh, yeah?Mm-hmm.
821
00:32:09,797 --> 00:32:11,407
Excellent.
822
00:32:35,866 --> 00:32:37,477
Nice new digs, huh?
823
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:38,608
Yeah.
824
00:32:38,652 --> 00:32:39,958
So what did you think?
825
00:32:40,001 --> 00:32:41,176
About what?
826
00:32:41,220 --> 00:32:43,135
Suzie'’s book.
Any thoughts?
827
00:32:43,178 --> 00:32:44,440
Oh.
828
00:32:44,484 --> 00:32:47,443
Uh, yeah, it was great.
829
00:32:47,487 --> 00:32:49,663
What do you think?
830
00:32:49,706 --> 00:32:52,274
How much did you
actually read?
831
00:32:52,318 --> 00:32:54,494
The first two chapters.
832
00:32:54,537 --> 00:32:55,886
But I'’m gonna finish
the rest of it today.
833
00:32:55,930 --> 00:32:57,714
I just got
a little distracted.
834
00:32:57,758 --> 00:32:59,107
Nick, please,
let me explain.
835
00:32:59,151 --> 00:33:00,239
Thanks for your thoughts.
836
00:33:02,154 --> 00:33:03,720
[gasps]
837
00:33:03,764 --> 00:33:05,766
You have shelves.
838
00:33:05,809 --> 00:33:07,289
And a door.
839
00:33:07,333 --> 00:33:09,596
[thud]
840
00:33:09,639 --> 00:33:12,338
Congratulations, Thea.
841
00:33:12,381 --> 00:33:14,035
Thank you, Greg.
842
00:33:16,777 --> 00:33:18,039
Really think
you can get to the top
843
00:33:18,083 --> 00:33:19,258
by playing games,
don'’t you?
844
00:33:19,301 --> 00:33:20,999
I know what
you'’re up to, Thea.
845
00:33:21,042 --> 00:33:22,913
And I think
that it stinks.
846
00:33:22,957 --> 00:33:24,437
It super stinks.
847
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:25,916
Hmm.
848
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:27,527
Well, really?
849
00:33:27,570 --> 00:33:29,050
Do you think
that it stinks
850
00:33:29,094 --> 00:33:30,791
that I want to hire you
to be my assistant?
851
00:33:30,834 --> 00:33:32,184
Really?
852
00:33:32,227 --> 00:33:33,750
You'’ll start
first thing Monday,
853
00:33:33,794 --> 00:33:35,013
after I put
the paperwork through.
854
00:33:35,056 --> 00:33:36,710
Oh, wow, Thea.
855
00:33:36,753 --> 00:33:38,190
Thea, thank you so much.
856
00:33:38,233 --> 00:33:39,452
I could kiss you right now.
857
00:33:39,495 --> 00:33:40,844
You don'’t have to
do that.
858
00:33:40,888 --> 00:33:41,976
I'’ll see you later, boss.
859
00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:44,457
Look at you,
Little Miss Executive.
860
00:33:44,500 --> 00:33:46,024
Hardly.
861
00:33:46,067 --> 00:33:47,547
I don'’t even really know
what I'’m doing here.
862
00:33:47,590 --> 00:33:49,201
I didn'’t finish
the manuscript last night,
863
00:33:49,244 --> 00:33:50,550
and Nick just asked
for my opinion,
864
00:33:50,593 --> 00:33:51,942
and I didn'’t really
have one.
865
00:33:51,986 --> 00:33:53,770
Well, you might
want to get one
866
00:33:53,814 --> 00:33:56,686
because this is your ticket
out of the secretarial pool.
867
00:34:12,398 --> 00:34:13,834
If your last name
is O'’Keefe,
868
00:34:13,877 --> 00:34:16,315
why do you look Jewish?
869
00:34:16,358 --> 00:34:17,751
Well, it'’s true.
870
00:34:17,794 --> 00:34:19,796
You don'’t look Irish
to me.
871
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:27,456
♪ She'’s my butterfly ♪
872
00:34:27,500 --> 00:34:30,503
♪ And you know
that cool reflection ♪
873
00:34:30,546 --> 00:34:35,073
♪ Makes me smile
874
00:34:35,116 --> 00:34:38,337
♪ She'’s my ♪ Steinwald Publishing.
875
00:34:38,380 --> 00:34:42,254
♪ Butterfly
876
00:34:42,297 --> 00:34:45,344
♪ And you know
that cool reflection ♪
877
00:34:45,387 --> 00:34:47,346
♪ Makes me smile
878
00:34:47,389 --> 00:34:49,130
So O'’Keefe's got
a new girlfriend.
879
00:34:49,174 --> 00:34:50,697
He'’s robbing the cradle.
880
00:34:50,740 --> 00:34:52,220
She'’s 95.
881
00:34:54,744 --> 00:34:56,920
[chuckles]
Did you hear me?
882
00:35:00,272 --> 00:35:01,795
I loved it.
883
00:35:01,838 --> 00:35:03,275
It was funny and smart,
and you don'’t even
884
00:35:03,318 --> 00:35:05,059
have to be pregnant
to enjoy it.
885
00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:07,148
I mean,
I'’m guessing about that
because I am pregnant.
886
00:35:07,192 --> 00:35:09,846
That'’s okay. I enjoyed it,
and I'’m not pregnant.
887
00:35:09,890 --> 00:35:11,239
You know,
I was thinking.
888
00:35:11,283 --> 00:35:13,285
You could organize
the chapters like a pregnancy.
889
00:35:13,328 --> 00:35:15,722
You know, group each
woman'’s stories by trimester.
890
00:35:15,765 --> 00:35:18,159
Oh, so the book
would start
891
00:35:18,203 --> 00:35:19,856
with stories about
the awkward moments
892
00:35:19,900 --> 00:35:21,249
and the first few months,
when everyone just thinks
893
00:35:21,293 --> 00:35:23,164
you'’ve been eating
too many cupcakes.
894
00:35:23,208 --> 00:35:25,427
Exactly. And then you get
to the second trimester stories.
895
00:35:25,471 --> 00:35:28,691
Like Sally'’s story,
when she threw up in her purse
at her kid'’s school play.
896
00:35:28,735 --> 00:35:30,693
Yeah.
Nick, I'’m sorry
I didn'’t finish
the book last night.
897
00:35:30,737 --> 00:35:33,566
It won'’t happen again.I'’m glad you like it.
898
00:35:33,609 --> 00:35:35,350
We'’ve got our work
cut out for us.
899
00:35:35,394 --> 00:35:37,178
It'’ll be in bookstores
in just six weeks.
900
00:35:37,222 --> 00:35:38,919
I want to have
a look at your notes,
901
00:35:38,962 --> 00:35:41,008
but Suzie'’s birthing class
starts in 20 minutes,
902
00:35:41,051 --> 00:35:42,227
so you should
probably head out.
903
00:35:42,270 --> 00:35:44,272
I totally forgot.
904
00:35:44,316 --> 00:35:46,666
Um, the thing is,
Miles is--
905
00:35:46,709 --> 00:35:48,058
is going out of town
for work.
906
00:35:48,102 --> 00:35:49,234
Oh, that'’s too bad.
907
00:35:49,277 --> 00:35:50,931
Do you think maybe
I could reschedule?
908
00:35:50,974 --> 00:35:52,628
Okay.
909
00:35:52,672 --> 00:35:55,762
Now it'’s time for
partner relaxation techniques,
910
00:35:55,805 --> 00:35:58,068
for when your special
marathon begins.
911
00:35:58,112 --> 00:36:01,246
So partners, I want you
to move behind your marathoners
912
00:36:01,289 --> 00:36:04,423
with your legs open
in a big "V."
913
00:36:04,466 --> 00:36:05,989
Mmm. Welcome home.
914
00:36:06,033 --> 00:36:08,644
Now, take this opportunity
915
00:36:08,688 --> 00:36:11,343
to stroke your wives
or girlfriends.
916
00:36:11,386 --> 00:36:13,214
Stroke it out.
917
00:36:13,258 --> 00:36:15,695
Now why don'’t you whisper
something special to her?
918
00:36:15,738 --> 00:36:17,784
Okay. Something that
only you two would share
919
00:36:17,827 --> 00:36:19,699
in this private moment.
920
00:36:19,742 --> 00:36:22,354
It could be funny,
it could be naughty.
921
00:36:22,397 --> 00:36:23,442
[laughs]
922
00:36:23,485 --> 00:36:25,139
I'’m not listening.
923
00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:27,794
Let that relaxation
wash over you...
924
00:36:27,837 --> 00:36:29,796
[whispering]
I am so sorry
about this.
925
00:36:29,839 --> 00:36:32,015
It'’s-- You know,
you don'’t have to
stroke my hair.
926
00:36:32,059 --> 00:36:33,930
Okay. Sorry.It'’s fine. Yeah.
927
00:36:33,974 --> 00:36:36,629
Uh, you know,
you can lean back
if you want.
928
00:36:36,672 --> 00:36:38,239
I can tell you'’re
kind of straining.
929
00:36:38,283 --> 00:36:39,284
Yeah. I am.
930
00:36:39,327 --> 00:36:40,546
Great.
931
00:36:40,589 --> 00:36:42,025
Now that we'’re all relaxed,
932
00:36:42,069 --> 00:36:44,419
let'’s try
some birthing positions.
933
00:36:44,463 --> 00:36:47,640
Okay? Mary, could I borrow
your partner for just a sec?
934
00:36:47,683 --> 00:36:48,728
All right.
I promise I'’ll give him back.
935
00:36:48,771 --> 00:36:50,251
[laughs] Maybe!
936
00:36:50,295 --> 00:36:51,252
I'’m just kidding.
Come up here, cutie.
937
00:36:51,296 --> 00:36:52,601
All right.
938
00:36:52,645 --> 00:36:54,995
Marathoners, I want you
to get on all fours
939
00:36:55,038 --> 00:36:57,302
with your palms
firmly placed to the ground
940
00:36:57,345 --> 00:37:00,043
and then we'’re gonna
rock back.
941
00:37:00,087 --> 00:37:01,828
We'’re gonna
rock back into it.
942
00:37:01,871 --> 00:37:04,309
Oh, feel that womb open up.
943
00:37:04,352 --> 00:37:05,919
Feels familiar,
right, ladies?
944
00:37:05,962 --> 00:37:09,009
This is how we got
ourselves into this mess.
945
00:37:09,052 --> 00:37:10,837
For some of us,
not all of us.
946
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:12,534
The position'’s
not for everybody.
947
00:37:12,578 --> 00:37:14,144
And now, partners,
948
00:37:14,188 --> 00:37:16,973
I want you to envelop
your marathoner, okay?
949
00:37:17,017 --> 00:37:19,237
And now just get
in a deep stretch here
950
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:20,847
around the belly.
951
00:37:20,890 --> 00:37:22,544
Keep moving back and forth.
Right?
952
00:37:22,588 --> 00:37:24,285
Get your hands on
the tummy back there.
953
00:37:24,329 --> 00:37:26,461
Hands on the tummy.
And keep pushing in.
954
00:37:26,505 --> 00:37:27,723
Keep pushing in and envelop.
955
00:37:27,767 --> 00:37:28,942
Get right on top of there.
956
00:37:28,985 --> 00:37:30,509
Feel that--
Feel that-- Oh!
957
00:37:30,552 --> 00:37:31,597
Man down. Okay.
958
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:33,294
Sorry.
959
00:37:33,338 --> 00:37:34,513
That'’s all right.
Just hop back on the horse.
960
00:37:34,556 --> 00:37:36,689
Okay. No mistakes in here.
961
00:37:36,732 --> 00:37:38,995
Okay. All right.
962
00:37:39,039 --> 00:37:40,736
And finish up
when you feel done.
963
00:37:40,780 --> 00:37:43,435
I need a few more,
if you'’ll indulge me, Mary.
964
00:37:43,478 --> 00:37:44,740
Thank you.
965
00:37:44,784 --> 00:37:46,525
Okay, and just keep
the rocking.
966
00:37:46,568 --> 00:37:48,178
Never stop rocking.
967
00:37:48,222 --> 00:37:51,225
Ohh! Yes.
968
00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:53,749
Give it to me, Rob.
We'’re doing it now.
969
00:37:53,793 --> 00:37:57,231
Ohh! [sighs]
970
00:37:57,275 --> 00:38:01,061
Okay. And we'’re done.
971
00:38:01,104 --> 00:38:02,541
Wonderful. Thank you.
972
00:38:02,584 --> 00:38:04,020
This guy'’s good, right?
973
00:38:04,064 --> 00:38:06,675
I'’m gonna borrow you
for another class.
974
00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:10,200
Or after class.
Just-- I'’m kidding.
975
00:38:13,900 --> 00:38:15,075
Good night, you guys.
976
00:38:15,118 --> 00:38:17,773
Thank you.
That was great.
977
00:38:17,817 --> 00:38:19,471
Thanks a lot.Bye.
978
00:38:19,514 --> 00:38:22,343
Wow. That was
right up there as one
979
00:38:22,387 --> 00:38:25,346
of the most embarrassing
moments of my life.
980
00:38:25,390 --> 00:38:28,001
Hey, here, let me
get you something.
981
00:38:28,044 --> 00:38:29,959
No.
No, no,
it'’s the least I can do
982
00:38:30,003 --> 00:38:32,788
after nearly
paralyzing you.Thank you.
983
00:38:32,832 --> 00:38:35,443
Hi.
Hi.
984
00:38:35,487 --> 00:38:37,184
Umm...
985
00:38:39,186 --> 00:38:40,361
Thanks.
986
00:38:40,405 --> 00:38:42,276
So did you always
want to work
987
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:43,669
in the family business?
988
00:38:43,712 --> 00:38:46,411
Uh, I wanted to be a writer.
989
00:38:46,454 --> 00:38:48,891
But I was scared
I might be a total hack,
990
00:38:48,935 --> 00:38:50,937
so I got
an accounting degree.
991
00:38:50,980 --> 00:38:52,939
I figured I'’d make
a living doing that
992
00:38:52,982 --> 00:38:54,636
while I finished my book
993
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:56,421
but kind of been stuck
in the middle for a few years.
994
00:38:56,464 --> 00:38:57,726
What about you?
995
00:38:57,770 --> 00:38:59,380
What do you want to be
when you grow up?
996
00:38:59,424 --> 00:39:01,730
Well, in college
I played in a badass
metal band.
997
00:39:01,774 --> 00:39:03,384
Really?
Mm-hmm.
998
00:39:03,428 --> 00:39:06,387
You'’re a badass?Little bit. Kinda.
999
00:39:06,431 --> 00:39:08,041
That'’s fascinating.
1000
00:39:08,084 --> 00:39:10,826
A little terrifying,
but fascinating.
1001
00:39:10,870 --> 00:39:12,611
So is that what
you did in college,
1002
00:39:12,654 --> 00:39:14,700
badass metal band
studies?
1003
00:39:14,743 --> 00:39:16,919
No, I didn'’t finish college.
1004
00:39:16,963 --> 00:39:18,268
Oh, why not? Too boring?
1005
00:39:18,312 --> 00:39:21,141
Not Joan Jett enough
for you?
1006
00:39:21,184 --> 00:39:23,143
No. Um, I loved college.
1007
00:39:23,186 --> 00:39:24,536
It'’s just my parents
passed away
1008
00:39:24,579 --> 00:39:26,842
in a car accident,
so I had to leave
1009
00:39:26,886 --> 00:39:28,583
to take care of
my little sister.
1010
00:39:28,627 --> 00:39:29,932
I'’m sorry.
1011
00:39:29,976 --> 00:39:31,281
I shouldn'’t
have said anything.
1012
00:39:31,325 --> 00:39:34,850
Oh, n-- no.
I-- I'’m glad you told me.
1013
00:39:34,894 --> 00:39:36,461
I'’m just so sorry
that happened.
1014
00:39:36,504 --> 00:39:39,986
Thanks.
1015
00:39:40,029 --> 00:39:42,162
So is your sister
a badass like you?
1016
00:39:42,205 --> 00:39:44,730
No. She'’s more of
a smartass.
1017
00:39:44,773 --> 00:39:46,340
Here.
1018
00:39:48,168 --> 00:39:49,735
Hey.
1019
00:39:49,778 --> 00:39:51,911
You know, uh, Suzie'’s having
a pool party this weekend.
1020
00:39:51,954 --> 00:39:54,087
You should come.
And bring Miles.
1021
00:39:54,130 --> 00:39:56,263
Pool party?
Yeah.
1022
00:39:56,306 --> 00:39:58,396
I promise I won'’t
be wearing a Speedo.
1023
00:40:04,097 --> 00:40:06,621
[door unlocking]
1024
00:40:13,236 --> 00:40:14,934
Nice look.
1025
00:40:14,977 --> 00:40:16,457
Do we have
a secret steam room
1026
00:40:16,501 --> 00:40:17,632
you never told me about?
1027
00:40:17,676 --> 00:40:19,373
No, I'’m going to
a pool party.
1028
00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:21,941
Ah. Good thing you'’ve
got that towel on now.
1029
00:40:21,984 --> 00:40:23,116
Wouldn'’t wanna leave that
1030
00:40:23,159 --> 00:40:24,857
till when you
actually get there.
1031
00:40:24,900 --> 00:40:25,988
Enough with the sass,
smarty pants.
1032
00:40:26,032 --> 00:40:27,163
What are you doing here?
1033
00:40:27,207 --> 00:40:29,905
Tennis ended early.
1034
00:40:29,949 --> 00:40:31,951
What'’s the bag for?
1035
00:40:31,994 --> 00:40:33,474
Nothing.
1036
00:40:33,518 --> 00:40:36,172
Come on, you can
do better than that.
1037
00:40:36,216 --> 00:40:37,783
At least I'’m wearing pants.
1038
00:40:37,826 --> 00:40:39,611
Pants?
You call those pants?
1039
00:40:39,654 --> 00:40:41,003
They'’re shorts.
1040
00:40:43,266 --> 00:40:44,485
All right, bye.
1041
00:40:44,529 --> 00:40:46,531
Don'’t call me
if you need me.
1042
00:40:51,231 --> 00:40:53,146
Okay, you really
have to act like
1043
00:40:53,189 --> 00:40:54,930
you'’re the father, okay?Yeah.
1044
00:40:54,974 --> 00:40:56,976
You'’re having the baby, too.
It'’s serious.
1045
00:40:57,019 --> 00:40:58,412
Oh, come on.
1046
00:40:58,456 --> 00:40:59,718
You have to appear
to be responsible.
1047
00:40:59,761 --> 00:41:00,936
Are you kidding me?
1048
00:41:00,980 --> 00:41:02,372
Babes,
I'’m totally psyched.
1049
00:41:02,416 --> 00:41:04,636
I'’m serious.
I thought about this.
1050
00:41:04,679 --> 00:41:06,072
Everyone'’s gonna think
I'’m a super-stud
1051
00:41:06,115 --> 00:41:07,682
for knocking up
a hot chick like you.
1052
00:41:07,726 --> 00:41:10,163
Okay, so, that'’s
an example of something
1053
00:41:10,206 --> 00:41:11,904
you wouldn'’t say.Baby.
1054
00:41:11,947 --> 00:41:13,122
Look, I think
you'’re beautiful,
1055
00:41:13,166 --> 00:41:14,515
even with
the extra weight.
1056
00:41:16,561 --> 00:41:18,476
♪ You keep me
in your head ♪
1057
00:41:18,519 --> 00:41:20,652
♪ When I'’m on the ground ♪
1058
00:41:20,695 --> 00:41:23,002
♪ Stop draggin'’ me down ♪
1059
00:41:23,045 --> 00:41:24,656
Hey. How are you?
1060
00:41:24,699 --> 00:41:26,092
Good, how are you?
1061
00:41:26,135 --> 00:41:27,267
Good. Nick, this is
my fiancé, Miles.
1062
00:41:27,310 --> 00:41:28,660
Miles, this is Nick.
1063
00:41:28,703 --> 00:41:31,619
Congratulations.
You must be so excited.
1064
00:41:31,663 --> 00:41:33,186
Oh, it'’s--
1065
00:41:33,229 --> 00:41:35,318
I just can'’t wait for
the little guy to pop out.
1066
00:41:35,362 --> 00:41:36,755
Oh, so you'’re
having a boy?
1067
00:41:36,798 --> 00:41:39,366
Yeah.We, uh, we just found out.
1068
00:41:39,409 --> 00:41:40,715
And do you have
a name yet?
1069
00:41:40,759 --> 00:41:41,977
Now, see.
I didn'’t think any--
1070
00:41:42,021 --> 00:41:43,457
We haven'’t decided yet.Hey.
1071
00:41:43,501 --> 00:41:45,720
Hey, Thea.
Garth, this is
my fiancé Miles.
1072
00:41:45,764 --> 00:41:48,288
Miles, this is Garth.
He'’s an editor at the company.
1073
00:41:48,331 --> 00:41:49,550
Oh, so you'’re
the lucky guy, huh?
1074
00:41:49,594 --> 00:41:51,030
Yes, I am.
1075
00:41:51,073 --> 00:41:52,248
But if I may
say so, sir,
1076
00:41:52,292 --> 00:41:54,903
you look pretty lucky
yourself there.
1077
00:41:54,947 --> 00:41:56,949
I'’m gonna go inside
and say hi to Suzie.
1078
00:41:56,992 --> 00:41:58,864
Oh, yeah, hold up, babe.
Listen, I'’m gonna take a dip.
1079
00:41:58,907 --> 00:42:00,518
It'’s, uh,
blazing out here. Babes?
1080
00:42:00,561 --> 00:42:03,216
Yeah?Yeah. Right there.
1081
00:42:03,259 --> 00:42:06,132
Anybody care to join?I will. Let'’s go in.
1082
00:42:06,175 --> 00:42:07,481
That'’s what
I like to hear.
1083
00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:09,091
I don'’t wanna
get my chain wet.
1084
00:42:09,135 --> 00:42:12,138
Listen, I have two friends
that I want you to meet.
1085
00:42:12,181 --> 00:42:14,923
They'’re both writers,
and they'’re actually looking
1086
00:42:14,967 --> 00:42:17,012
for a new publisher
so I think they'’ll
really like you.
1087
00:42:17,056 --> 00:42:18,274
Oh, really?
1088
00:42:18,318 --> 00:42:19,972
Yeah, you and Nick
make such a good team.
1089
00:42:20,015 --> 00:42:21,495
Thank you.
1090
00:42:29,155 --> 00:42:30,939
Hey, guys.
1091
00:42:30,983 --> 00:42:32,941
I want you to meet
Audrey Gold
1092
00:42:32,985 --> 00:42:34,769
and Dr. Terry Bournachle.
1093
00:42:34,813 --> 00:42:36,815
Terry wrote
the Bournachle Baby Book,
1094
00:42:36,858 --> 00:42:38,294
which is the bible.
1095
00:42:38,338 --> 00:42:39,774
Oh. I'’m not gonna
even touch that.
1096
00:42:39,818 --> 00:42:42,516
I don'’t wanna be accused
of having a God complex.
1097
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:45,127
And Audrey just finished
a book on single parenting,
1098
00:42:45,171 --> 00:42:47,521
and I hear
from reliable sources
1099
00:42:47,565 --> 00:42:49,697
that she'’s not very happy
at Boyle Donner.
1100
00:42:49,741 --> 00:42:51,351
We would love
to meet with you guys.
1101
00:42:51,394 --> 00:42:52,526
That sounds great.
1102
00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:54,397
Give me a turn!
1103
00:42:54,441 --> 00:42:55,834
Yeah, Nick and Thea
just started
1104
00:42:55,877 --> 00:42:57,444
a parenting division
at Steinwald.
1105
00:42:57,487 --> 00:42:58,793
Oh. Hmm.
1106
00:42:58,837 --> 00:43:00,447
You have
the most unique shape.
1107
00:43:00,490 --> 00:43:02,101
I mean, if you don'’t
mind me asking,
1108
00:43:02,144 --> 00:43:04,930
you don'’t have
a distended uterus, do you?
1109
00:43:04,973 --> 00:43:09,238
Uh, no, no,
I-- I don'’t think so.
1110
00:43:09,282 --> 00:43:11,806
Well, who'’s your OB?
1111
00:43:11,850 --> 00:43:16,158
Dr. Draken Barysinwitz.
1112
00:43:16,202 --> 00:43:19,335
You mean Hans?
Frogenberry Schoenewitz?
1113
00:43:19,379 --> 00:43:21,599
I thought he moved
back to Vienna.
1114
00:43:23,209 --> 00:43:24,863
[all] Oh!
1115
00:43:24,906 --> 00:43:26,429
My bad. I just--
1116
00:43:26,473 --> 00:43:28,127
I was trying to--
Totally going for her.
1117
00:43:28,170 --> 00:43:29,868
Ha ha, very funny, Miles.
1118
00:43:29,911 --> 00:43:33,959
Hey. You should, uh,
you should totally come in.
1119
00:43:34,002 --> 00:43:35,134
We'’re having such
a good time in there.
1120
00:43:35,177 --> 00:43:36,614
No, no, it'’s okay.
1121
00:43:36,657 --> 00:43:37,832
I'’m-- I don't feel
like swimming right now.
1122
00:43:37,876 --> 00:43:39,007
Oh, come on.
It'’s so nice in there.
1123
00:43:39,051 --> 00:43:40,661
No one cares
that you'’re fat.
1124
00:43:40,705 --> 00:43:42,663
Come on, kids,
you should tell
her to come in.
1125
00:43:42,707 --> 00:43:44,099
She should come in, right?Yeah, you should--
you shouldn'’t.
1126
00:43:44,143 --> 00:43:46,232
Come in, come in, yeah,
come on, Nick. Come in.
1127
00:43:46,275 --> 00:43:48,147
No, it'’s okay.It'’s a really bad idea.
Yeah, no, it'’s okay.
1128
00:43:48,190 --> 00:43:50,366
You don'’t wanna
disappoint the children.
1129
00:43:50,410 --> 00:43:52,107
Whoo!Oh, shit.
1130
00:43:52,151 --> 00:43:54,240
[laughs]
1131
00:43:55,633 --> 00:43:56,895
What is that?
1132
00:43:56,938 --> 00:43:58,940
Ohh! Ohh!
1133
00:43:58,984 --> 00:44:00,159
[all] Oh!
1134
00:44:00,202 --> 00:44:02,640
[gasps]
[Suzie]
Are you okay?
1135
00:44:02,683 --> 00:44:04,293
That'’s not cool.
1136
00:44:10,169 --> 00:44:11,779
[Thea]
It was so humiliating.
1137
00:44:11,823 --> 00:44:13,433
So then on the way home,
1138
00:44:13,476 --> 00:44:15,435
I told him to drop me off
and never speak to me again.
1139
00:44:15,478 --> 00:44:16,654
Good.
1140
00:44:16,697 --> 00:44:17,829
I always thought Miles
1141
00:44:17,872 --> 00:44:19,700
was a bit of
a numbnut anyway.
1142
00:44:19,744 --> 00:44:21,267
I'’m just so embarrassed
that Nick thinks
1143
00:44:21,310 --> 00:44:22,703
he'’s the father
of my child.
1144
00:44:22,747 --> 00:44:24,705
Who cares
what Nick thinks?
1145
00:44:24,749 --> 00:44:26,228
Well, it'’s just, he's
the first person in years
1146
00:44:26,272 --> 00:44:27,621
that thinks I'’m capable
1147
00:44:27,665 --> 00:44:29,231
of doing more than just
pouring coffee.
1148
00:44:29,275 --> 00:44:32,017
Um, what do you think
Nick is gonna say
1149
00:44:32,060 --> 00:44:34,062
when he finds out
your baby is a piece
1150
00:44:34,106 --> 00:44:36,717
of polyurethane foam
we swiped off a mannequin?
1151
00:44:36,761 --> 00:44:39,502
He'’s actually kinda cute,
though, don'’t you think?
1152
00:44:39,546 --> 00:44:40,590
Who?
1153
00:44:40,634 --> 00:44:41,940
Um, Nick?
1154
00:44:41,983 --> 00:44:44,551
Um, no.
1155
00:44:44,594 --> 00:44:46,379
Cigarette?
1156
00:44:46,422 --> 00:44:48,511
No, I probably shouldn'’t.
1157
00:44:48,555 --> 00:44:51,036
[scoffs]
1158
00:44:51,079 --> 00:44:52,385
Okay.
1159
00:44:52,428 --> 00:44:56,911
Um, to recap,
uh, only one of you
1160
00:44:56,955 --> 00:44:59,131
would even bother
to look at the book.
1161
00:44:59,174 --> 00:45:01,089
And, uh,
1162
00:45:01,133 --> 00:45:02,569
the rest of you
wouldn'’t buy it
1163
00:45:02,612 --> 00:45:03,875
with a gun to your head,
1164
00:45:03,918 --> 00:45:06,181
which can'’t be good
for sales.
1165
00:45:09,663 --> 00:45:11,056
Can any of you tell me
1166
00:45:11,099 --> 00:45:13,014
why the cover
doesn'’t speak to you?
1167
00:45:13,058 --> 00:45:16,365
Maybe comparing pregnancy
to a battle is,
1168
00:45:16,409 --> 00:45:17,410
uh, putting you off.
1169
00:45:17,453 --> 00:45:18,759
Yes.
1170
00:45:18,803 --> 00:45:20,065
I can'’t stay
for the rest
1171
00:45:20,108 --> 00:45:21,196
of the focus group.
1172
00:45:21,240 --> 00:45:22,589
Can I still
get my check?
1173
00:45:22,632 --> 00:45:25,810
Just stop by reception.
1174
00:45:30,728 --> 00:45:35,602
Okay. Uh, one down.
Uh...
1175
00:45:35,645 --> 00:45:38,083
Maybe we should forget
what'’s on the cover
1176
00:45:38,126 --> 00:45:39,432
for a second.
1177
00:45:39,475 --> 00:45:41,303
I mean, what makes
this book great is that
1178
00:45:41,347 --> 00:45:43,697
it'’s a collection
of real stories for real women
1179
00:45:43,741 --> 00:45:45,394
talking about how
it feels to be pregnant.
1180
00:45:45,438 --> 00:45:48,006
So let'’s talk about how
some of us feel right now.
1181
00:45:48,049 --> 00:45:50,312
I feel like crap.
1182
00:45:50,356 --> 00:45:52,358
That'’s good.
I mean, that'’s bad.
1183
00:45:52,401 --> 00:45:53,925
But keep going.
1184
00:45:53,968 --> 00:45:58,103
How come no one talks about
how much pregnancy sucks!
1185
00:45:58,146 --> 00:46:00,279
Oh, there is no glow
in my house.
1186
00:46:00,322 --> 00:46:03,151
So what
I'’m hearing is is that
you'’re all so over it.
1187
00:46:03,195 --> 00:46:05,110
[Women] Yeah.
1188
00:46:05,153 --> 00:46:07,416
Hello, I'’m Orca the Whale.
Like, what'’s up with that?
1189
00:46:07,460 --> 00:46:09,592
I know, they'’re not
even bloated at all.
1190
00:46:09,636 --> 00:46:11,551
[Ann over P.A.]
Thea, your sister'’s
at reception.
1191
00:46:17,339 --> 00:46:18,993
Hey, what are you
doing here?
1192
00:46:19,037 --> 00:46:20,952
Oh, um, you forgot
to sign the release
1193
00:46:20,995 --> 00:46:22,170
for my trip
to Lake Arrowhead.
1194
00:46:22,214 --> 00:46:25,086
It'’s due today.Oh, okay.
1195
00:46:25,130 --> 00:46:27,741
Thea, aren'’t you going
to introduce me
to your sister?
1196
00:46:27,785 --> 00:46:29,961
Oh. Nick, Emma.
Emma, Nick.
1197
00:46:30,004 --> 00:46:33,312
Hello.She'’s in a real rush.
She has to go.
1198
00:46:33,355 --> 00:46:35,488
Okay, well,
this has been fun.
1199
00:46:35,531 --> 00:46:36,619
It'’s been fun.
1200
00:46:37,751 --> 00:46:39,144
Uh, what is that?
1201
00:46:39,187 --> 00:46:40,623
Just because you don'’t
like my dress
1202
00:46:40,667 --> 00:46:42,103
doesn'’t mean
you have to be rude.
1203
00:46:42,147 --> 00:46:43,583
Keep on moving.
I'’ll tell you outside.
1204
00:46:43,626 --> 00:46:45,106
What is wrong with you?
1205
00:46:45,150 --> 00:46:46,455
Look, I know
I'’m a big fat liar,
1206
00:46:46,499 --> 00:46:47,630
but Jerry was
gonna fire me,
1207
00:46:47,674 --> 00:46:49,502
and I had to come up
with something.
1208
00:46:51,896 --> 00:46:54,420
You are one sandwich shy
of a picnic, you know that?
1209
00:46:54,463 --> 00:46:57,640
You'’re crazy.
What are you thinking?
1210
00:46:57,684 --> 00:46:58,816
You might be
interested to know
1211
00:46:58,859 --> 00:47:00,208
that I got
a promotion and a raise.
1212
00:47:00,252 --> 00:47:03,037
I can'’t believe
we'’re actually related.
1213
00:47:03,081 --> 00:47:04,909
Look, as soon as I can,
I'’m gonna come clean.
1214
00:47:04,952 --> 00:47:06,388
Just--
Things are complicated,
1215
00:47:06,432 --> 00:47:08,390
and the entire company
is depending on me.
1216
00:47:08,434 --> 00:47:09,827
You know what?
I have heard enough.
1217
00:47:09,870 --> 00:47:12,351
I am outta here.
1218
00:47:20,489 --> 00:47:21,882
Morning, Thea.
1219
00:47:21,926 --> 00:47:23,144
Last month'’s
and this month'’s.
1220
00:47:23,188 --> 00:47:24,929
Wow, early.
That'’s a first.
1221
00:47:26,931 --> 00:47:29,585
I'’ve got something for you.
1222
00:47:29,629 --> 00:47:31,152
Oh, you made these?
1223
00:47:31,196 --> 00:47:33,024
Yes.
I hope you don'’t mind.
1224
00:47:33,067 --> 00:47:34,895
I went with marigold
because it'’s neutral.
1225
00:47:34,939 --> 00:47:36,462
Thank you.
1226
00:47:39,987 --> 00:47:41,293
Hey.
Hey.
1227
00:47:41,336 --> 00:47:43,295
Okay, not that
you'’re interested,
1228
00:47:43,338 --> 00:47:45,471
but the word is
that Nick'’s divorce
1229
00:47:45,514 --> 00:47:47,908
is finalized this week.
1230
00:47:47,952 --> 00:47:49,823
Garth told me.Garth told you?
1231
00:47:49,867 --> 00:47:51,651
Well, I'’ve been
hanging out with him
1232
00:47:51,694 --> 00:47:53,348
since you'’ve been
Little Miss Busy
all the time.
1233
00:47:53,392 --> 00:47:55,437
Hey.Hey. I took the liberty
of picking you up
1234
00:47:55,481 --> 00:47:57,396
a calcium-enriched smoothie
and a bran muffin.
1235
00:47:57,439 --> 00:47:58,832
I figured you might
be getting
1236
00:47:58,876 --> 00:48:00,094
a little backed up.
1237
00:48:00,138 --> 00:48:01,922
Thanks, Greg.You'’re welcome.
1238
00:48:01,966 --> 00:48:03,837
Excuse me.
1239
00:48:03,881 --> 00:48:05,883
Greg'’s worried about you
being backed up?
1240
00:48:05,926 --> 00:48:08,581
Constipation
is a common problem
for pregnant women.
1241
00:48:08,624 --> 00:48:11,062
Uhh.
1242
00:48:11,105 --> 00:48:14,717
Well, lucky for you,
you'’re not actually pregnant.
1243
00:48:14,761 --> 00:48:16,241
Or do you even
know that anymore?
1244
00:48:16,284 --> 00:48:18,504
Of course I know that.
Obviously.
1245
00:48:18,547 --> 00:48:20,680
[knocking]Hi.
1246
00:48:20,723 --> 00:48:22,247
Hi.
Sorry to interrupt.
1247
00:48:22,290 --> 00:48:24,118
I wanted to get you
a little something.
1248
00:48:24,162 --> 00:48:26,947
I ordered it off of eBay.
1249
00:48:26,991 --> 00:48:29,907
It'’s an armadillo foot for--
for when you'’re in labor.
1250
00:48:29,950 --> 00:48:31,473
It-- It wards off
the evil eye.
1251
00:48:31,517 --> 00:48:34,955
Thank you so much, Carl.
That'’s so sweet of you.
1252
00:48:34,999 --> 00:48:36,043
I'’ll keep it with me
the whole time.
1253
00:48:37,305 --> 00:48:39,090
Okay.
1254
00:48:39,133 --> 00:48:41,092
I know I told you
to go along with this
1255
00:48:41,135 --> 00:48:43,659
for a few weeks, but you'’re
starting to freak me out.
1256
00:48:43,703 --> 00:48:45,270
Look, things are going
really well for me.
1257
00:48:45,313 --> 00:48:47,098
Well, it'’s not because
of the stomach.
1258
00:48:47,141 --> 00:48:48,664
You'’re doing good work.
1259
00:48:48,708 --> 00:48:50,623
The only thing
you'’re doing bad
1260
00:48:50,666 --> 00:48:53,191
is walking around
with a load of bullshit
strapped to your stomach.
1261
00:48:53,234 --> 00:48:55,671
Nick. Nick.
[mocking]
Nick, Nick.
1262
00:48:55,715 --> 00:48:58,936
What'’s up?You'’re not gonna believe
who left me a voicemail.
1263
00:48:58,979 --> 00:49:02,026
Drum roll, please.
An associate producer
from The Vista.
1264
00:49:02,069 --> 00:49:04,593
No way.She read the book,
loves it,
1265
00:49:04,637 --> 00:49:06,291
and they just need to get
approval from Claire
and then we'’re in.
1266
00:49:06,334 --> 00:49:08,641
That would be
the greatest thing ever.
1267
00:49:08,684 --> 00:49:10,686
Oh.
Oh.
1268
00:49:12,906 --> 00:49:15,691
Sorry. I-- I'’m a bit
of a closet hugger.
1269
00:49:15,735 --> 00:49:17,737
I-- That won'’t happen again.That'’s okay.
1270
00:49:17,780 --> 00:49:20,522
[Ann over P.A.]
Nick, I'’ve got
Jerry for you.
1271
00:49:20,566 --> 00:49:23,003
Oh. Uh, put him through.
1272
00:49:23,047 --> 00:49:24,874
How you holding down
the fort, Nicky?
1273
00:49:24,918 --> 00:49:27,007
Good, good.
Everything'’s going--
going great.
1274
00:49:27,051 --> 00:49:29,009
Working on
a little project.
1275
00:49:29,053 --> 00:49:30,880
You haven'’t done
anything stupid, have you?
1276
00:49:30,924 --> 00:49:33,013
No, no, of course not.
1277
00:49:33,057 --> 00:49:35,407
You'’re doing great,
sweetie.
1278
00:49:35,450 --> 00:49:36,886
[whimpering]
1279
00:49:36,930 --> 00:49:39,672
Hey, do me a favor, Nick.
No little projects.
1280
00:49:39,715 --> 00:49:44,242
Don'’t do anything.
Don'’t touch anything.
1281
00:49:44,285 --> 00:49:45,895
If you need a project,
try Match.com.
1282
00:49:45,939 --> 00:49:47,854
It'’s been a while since
you'’ve seen any action.
1283
00:49:47,897 --> 00:49:49,899
Am I right or am I-- Okay, Jerry.
I'’ll talk to you later.
1284
00:49:49,943 --> 00:49:52,685
Thank you.
1285
00:49:52,728 --> 00:49:54,687
It really hasn'’t
been that long.
1286
00:49:54,730 --> 00:49:56,080
I'’m-- I'm sure.
1287
00:49:56,123 --> 00:49:57,777
Um, okay.
I got a lot of work to do,
1288
00:49:57,820 --> 00:49:59,257
so I'’m gonna go do it.
1289
00:49:59,300 --> 00:50:01,911
Okay. Bye.
Bye.
1290
00:50:07,352 --> 00:50:09,354
So the book comes out
in three weeks.
1291
00:50:09,397 --> 00:50:12,096
That-- That gives us
plenty of time for publicity.
1292
00:50:17,666 --> 00:50:19,625
I hope you don'’t mind.
1293
00:50:19,668 --> 00:50:22,149
I just couldn'’t
take it anymore.
1294
00:50:25,979 --> 00:50:30,723
Oh, wow.
Wow, I can see.
1295
00:50:30,766 --> 00:50:31,898
Oh, my God, Thea.
1296
00:50:31,941 --> 00:50:33,073
I don'’t know
if you know this,
1297
00:50:33,117 --> 00:50:34,988
but you'’re--
you'’re pregnant.
1298
00:50:35,032 --> 00:50:37,208
Your sense of humor
really takes a dive
after 9:00, huh?
1299
00:50:37,251 --> 00:50:39,514
Is it after 9?Yeah.
1300
00:50:39,558 --> 00:50:42,213
Oh, my God, I'’m--
I'’m slave-driving
a pregnant woman.
1301
00:50:42,256 --> 00:50:44,345
No, not at all.
I wanna be here.
1302
00:50:44,389 --> 00:50:47,435
I do. I feel like
I'’m making up for
lost time.
1303
00:50:47,479 --> 00:50:50,090
And I'’m really grateful
you'’ve given me this shot.
1304
00:50:50,134 --> 00:50:53,528
So thanks.It'’s my pleasure.
1305
00:50:58,403 --> 00:51:00,579
You should be at home
with your fiancé.
1306
00:51:00,622 --> 00:51:02,972
Right. My fiancé.
1307
00:51:06,976 --> 00:51:08,195
I'’m taking you home.
1308
00:51:10,284 --> 00:51:12,286
But, I promise to have
1309
00:51:12,330 --> 00:51:13,766
ridiculously
high expectations
1310
00:51:13,809 --> 00:51:16,029
of you in the morning.
1311
00:51:16,073 --> 00:51:18,205
Thank you.
1312
00:51:18,249 --> 00:51:19,641
Oh, here.
No, no, no, no.
1313
00:51:19,685 --> 00:51:22,688
Okay.
1314
00:51:22,731 --> 00:51:25,560
♪ I'’m lyin' here
awake at night ♪
1315
00:51:25,604 --> 00:51:27,649
♪ I'’m losing sleep
and wonderin'’ why ♪
1316
00:51:27,693 --> 00:51:32,437
♪ My forty winks
are in denial ♪
1317
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:35,396
♪ Sit up, lie down,
and toss and turn ♪
1318
00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:37,659
♪ Tomorrow comes
my eyes will burn ♪
1319
00:51:37,703 --> 00:51:41,359
♪ The bed is cold
and I'’m on fire ♪
1320
00:51:41,402 --> 00:51:45,319
♪ If I fall asleep
I might ♪
1321
00:51:45,363 --> 00:51:49,497
♪ Miss you
in my dreams tonight ♪
1322
00:51:49,541 --> 00:51:52,544
♪ My ears tune in,
detect a creak ♪
1323
00:51:52,587 --> 00:51:55,155
♪ A shadow looking
in the deep ♪
1324
00:51:55,199 --> 00:51:59,464
♪ A glass of wine
will help the fear ♪
1325
00:51:59,507 --> 00:52:02,293
♪ That Bo-Peep
lost all her sheep ♪
1326
00:52:02,336 --> 00:52:04,860
♪ My mind can'’t seem
to rest a beat ♪
1327
00:52:04,904 --> 00:52:08,647
♪ I'’d be knocked out
if you were here ♪
1328
00:52:08,690 --> 00:52:10,039
Is this your first?
1329
00:52:10,083 --> 00:52:11,737
Yeah. I can'’t wait.
1330
00:52:11,780 --> 00:52:12,738
And you?
1331
00:52:12,781 --> 00:52:14,609
It'’s mine, too.
1332
00:52:14,653 --> 00:52:16,959
Would you sign
this, please?
1333
00:52:21,703 --> 00:52:25,446
Oh, wow.
Oh, that'’s amazing.
1334
00:52:25,490 --> 00:52:28,536
What about Thea?
Thea?
1335
00:52:28,580 --> 00:52:30,843
Absolutely.
You.
1336
00:52:30,886 --> 00:52:32,366
No, no, no.
Yeah.
1337
00:52:32,410 --> 00:52:35,021
No, yes.No, I just-- I stay
behind the camera.
1338
00:52:35,064 --> 00:52:36,675
You, over here
right now.
1339
00:52:36,718 --> 00:52:38,155
Come on.
Come on, give it a shot.
1340
00:52:41,462 --> 00:52:45,205
Oh, yeah. Work it.Nick!
1341
00:52:45,249 --> 00:52:47,947
Make love to the cam--
Sorry.
1342
00:52:47,990 --> 00:52:50,036
I know you don'’t actually
say that. I'’m sorry.
1343
00:52:53,431 --> 00:52:55,128
Mmm.Thanks for
coming here with me.
1344
00:52:55,172 --> 00:52:56,390
I had such a craving.
1345
00:52:56,434 --> 00:52:58,784
Are you kidding me?
I love mud slide pie.
1346
00:52:58,827 --> 00:53:00,002
I think we could use
1347
00:53:00,046 --> 00:53:01,395
a little more
whipped cream, though.
1348
00:53:01,439 --> 00:53:03,310
Oh, did I tell you
we signed Bournachle?
1349
00:53:03,354 --> 00:53:04,659
Thanks for hooking us
up with him.
1350
00:53:04,703 --> 00:53:06,139
My pleasure.
1351
00:53:06,183 --> 00:53:08,185
Oh, I may have
some good news.
1352
00:53:08,228 --> 00:53:10,926
I may have gotten us
two spots in Sunshine Daycare.
1353
00:53:10,970 --> 00:53:12,624
Great. Thanks.
1354
00:53:12,667 --> 00:53:14,408
I haven't even thought
about daycare.
1355
00:53:14,452 --> 00:53:16,367
I don'’t know how you do it,
with your kid,
1356
00:53:16,410 --> 00:53:18,369
your pregnancy,
and your job.
1357
00:53:18,412 --> 00:53:20,501
I can'’t even take care of
my little sister Emma.
1358
00:53:20,545 --> 00:53:22,416
I wish my mother left me
user instructions.
1359
00:53:22,460 --> 00:53:24,940
Well, there are no
hard and fast rules.
1360
00:53:24,984 --> 00:53:26,681
You just have to go
with your gut.
1361
00:53:26,725 --> 00:53:29,902
Yeah, well I certainly
have no shortage of gut
at the moment.
1362
00:53:29,945 --> 00:53:34,167
Well, when all else fails,
sugar and shopping.
1363
00:53:34,211 --> 00:53:35,516
Very persuasive.
1364
00:53:37,214 --> 00:53:38,606
[Claire on TV]
You don'’t even want
1365
00:53:38,650 --> 00:53:40,521
to get her started
1366
00:53:40,565 --> 00:53:42,654
with all
of the hot glue gunning
she does and the beads.
1367
00:53:42,697 --> 00:53:44,656
And she takes these
wonderful pictures.
1368
00:53:44,699 --> 00:53:47,789
And she really had
some fantastic ideas-- [doorbell rings]
1369
00:53:47,833 --> 00:53:49,835
...to work around that.
1370
00:53:49,878 --> 00:53:51,140
Hi.Hi. Is Emma here?
1371
00:53:51,184 --> 00:53:53,273
Yeah.Oh, hi, Emma.
1372
00:53:53,317 --> 00:53:54,666
Can you babysit
tomorrow night?
1373
00:53:54,709 --> 00:53:56,929
Oh, I can'’t,
Donna, sorry.
1374
00:53:56,972 --> 00:53:59,279
I have to study
with my friend Chloe.
1375
00:53:59,323 --> 00:54:02,326
Um, I can do it.
1376
00:54:02,369 --> 00:54:04,110
You know,
good practice.
1377
00:54:04,153 --> 00:54:07,853
That'’s right. Oh. Thea.
You are the best.
1378
00:54:07,896 --> 00:54:09,202
Tomorrow night at 8?Yes.
1379
00:54:09,246 --> 00:54:11,030
Great. Bye. Thank you.Bye.
1380
00:54:14,599 --> 00:54:16,209
Okay, I don'’t even know
who you are right now,
1381
00:54:16,253 --> 00:54:18,298
but you'’re definitely
not the best.
1382
00:54:18,342 --> 00:54:22,389
Do you wanna make cupcakes
and then maybe go shopping
at Forever 21?
1383
00:54:22,433 --> 00:54:25,653
No. Actually I'’d rather
scrub myself down
1384
00:54:25,697 --> 00:54:28,308
with a pineapple
than do that.
1385
00:54:31,529 --> 00:54:33,574
I don'’t know what to do.
1386
00:54:33,618 --> 00:54:35,707
I mean,
this was Dan'’s idea.
1387
00:54:35,750 --> 00:54:38,057
He was all, like,
"Let'’s have a baby.
1388
00:54:38,100 --> 00:54:39,319
It'’ll be so cute."
1389
00:54:39,363 --> 00:54:42,409
You know?
I was, like, really? Really?
1390
00:54:42,453 --> 00:54:45,543
Well, let'’s strap 50 pounds
of cement to your torso
1391
00:54:45,586 --> 00:54:47,980
and see how fun it is then.
1392
00:54:48,023 --> 00:54:49,286
You know, I just--
[sobbing]
1393
00:54:49,329 --> 00:54:51,984
Yeah. I know.
I understand.
1394
00:54:52,027 --> 00:54:55,292
I just need a drink.
Or some weed.
1395
00:54:55,335 --> 00:54:57,119
I know it'’s scary.
1396
00:54:57,163 --> 00:54:58,556
I mean, the fact
that we'’re gonna have
1397
00:54:58,599 --> 00:55:01,385
these tiny, fragile humans
1398
00:55:01,428 --> 00:55:02,995
totally dependent on us.
1399
00:55:03,038 --> 00:55:04,823
It'’s kind of
freaking me out, too.
1400
00:55:04,866 --> 00:55:06,085
Really?
1401
00:55:06,128 --> 00:55:07,173
Yeah.
1402
00:55:07,216 --> 00:55:08,566
'’Cause, Thea, you just--
1403
00:55:08,609 --> 00:55:10,350
you seem so together.
1404
00:55:10,394 --> 00:55:12,657
Oh, hi.
We need to talk.
1405
00:55:12,700 --> 00:55:13,919
What happened?
1406
00:55:13,962 --> 00:55:16,095
Okay,
thanks for listening.
1407
00:55:21,056 --> 00:55:25,017
Uh, I, uh...
1408
00:55:25,060 --> 00:55:27,019
I kind of got into
an altercation with Miles.
1409
00:55:27,062 --> 00:55:28,194
What are you
talking about?
1410
00:55:28,237 --> 00:55:29,848
He was kissing another woman.
1411
00:55:29,891 --> 00:55:31,197
So I confronted him.
1412
00:55:31,240 --> 00:55:33,068
And he told me--
1413
00:55:33,112 --> 00:55:35,201
He told me
he'’s not the father.
1414
00:55:35,244 --> 00:55:36,768
So I punched him.You what?
1415
00:55:36,811 --> 00:55:38,944
I punched him!
I couldn'’t help it.
1416
00:55:38,987 --> 00:55:40,946
It just-- It came over me.
1417
00:55:40,989 --> 00:55:42,774
You deserve better than that,
Thea, a-- a lot better.
1418
00:55:42,817 --> 00:55:44,341
[sighs]
1419
00:55:44,384 --> 00:55:46,517
Nick, Miles is not
the father.
1420
00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:48,780
He'’s not even
my boyfriend anymore.
1421
00:55:48,823 --> 00:55:50,956
The truth is,
there is no father.
1422
00:55:50,999 --> 00:55:52,305
I mean,
obviously there is,
1423
00:55:52,349 --> 00:55:53,437
but it was a one-night stand
1424
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:55,961
and he'’s out of
the picture now.
1425
00:55:56,004 --> 00:55:57,658
Thea?
1426
00:55:57,702 --> 00:56:00,052
There is nothing wrong
with being a single mother.
1427
00:56:00,095 --> 00:56:02,968
Okay.
[knocking]
1428
00:56:03,011 --> 00:56:05,057
Um, the printer
has a question
about the binding.
1429
00:56:05,100 --> 00:56:06,319
He'’s on line 1.
1430
00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:07,538
Okay.
1431
00:56:09,801 --> 00:56:12,456
[whispering]
Oh! What was that about?
1432
00:56:12,499 --> 00:56:13,718
He looks like a maniac.
1433
00:56:13,761 --> 00:56:14,980
I just told Nick the truth.
1434
00:56:15,023 --> 00:56:16,721
[gasps]
How'’d he take it?
1435
00:56:16,764 --> 00:56:18,418
Okay.
1436
00:56:18,462 --> 00:56:19,637
He doesn'’t think I should
be with Miles anyway.
1437
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:21,029
Yeah, but what--
1438
00:56:21,073 --> 00:56:22,640
what did he say
about the pregnancy?
1439
00:56:22,683 --> 00:56:23,989
Oh, he didn'’t say anything
about the pregnancy.
1440
00:56:24,032 --> 00:56:25,077
What'’s there to say?
1441
00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:26,557
Thea?
1442
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:28,123
We should talk.
1443
00:56:28,167 --> 00:56:29,516
Do you want to get
a beer after work?
1444
00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:32,519
A beer?
You know I can'’t drink.
1445
00:56:37,350 --> 00:56:39,657
Is your stomach growing?
1446
00:56:39,700 --> 00:56:41,659
Well, I'm nearly
six months now.
1447
00:56:47,665 --> 00:56:49,101
Hi. How are you?
1448
00:56:49,144 --> 00:56:51,451
Uh, where'’s
my sister Emma?
1449
00:56:53,192 --> 00:56:54,149
Hey.
1450
00:56:56,500 --> 00:56:57,892
How was practice?
1451
00:56:57,936 --> 00:56:59,459
Fine. Same as usual.
1452
00:56:59,503 --> 00:57:00,765
Really?
1453
00:57:00,808 --> 00:57:02,462
That'’s funny
because Coach Henretti
1454
00:57:02,506 --> 00:57:04,682
told me you quit
a month ago.
1455
00:57:04,725 --> 00:57:06,814
I found this
in your backpack.
1456
00:57:06,858 --> 00:57:08,686
You'’ve got some
explaining to do.
1457
00:57:08,729 --> 00:57:12,211
That'’s dried cilantro.Yeah, right.
1458
00:57:12,254 --> 00:57:13,995
Smell it.
[sniffs]
1459
00:57:16,737 --> 00:57:19,218
Okay, maybe it is.
But where were you today?
1460
00:57:19,261 --> 00:57:22,569
At Jake'’s. Waiting tables.
1461
00:57:22,613 --> 00:57:23,788
You'’ve been lying for weeks.
1462
00:57:23,831 --> 00:57:25,920
Hey. I learn from the best.
1463
00:57:32,405 --> 00:57:36,278
Hey.
Um, your boss is here.
1464
00:57:36,322 --> 00:57:37,845
What?
Yeah.
1465
00:57:37,889 --> 00:57:39,717
Maybe he wants
to make cupcakes with you.
1466
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:41,980
Um, can you get my stomach?
It'’s in my room.
1467
00:57:42,023 --> 00:57:45,070
Yeah. But, um,
it'’ll cost you.
1468
00:57:45,113 --> 00:57:46,680
25 bucks.
1469
00:57:46,724 --> 00:57:49,640
15!
Sold.
1470
00:57:49,683 --> 00:57:51,032
She'’ll be right with you!
1471
00:57:51,076 --> 00:57:52,251
She'’s just
getting dressed!
1472
00:57:52,294 --> 00:57:53,557
Oh, okay, thanks.
1473
00:57:59,519 --> 00:58:00,999
Does it make you
feel weird
1474
00:58:01,042 --> 00:58:02,130
knowing she'’s naked
1475
00:58:02,174 --> 00:58:03,175
only, like,
10 feet away?
1476
00:58:03,218 --> 00:58:05,046
Em!
1477
00:58:05,090 --> 00:58:06,526
Coming.
1478
00:58:06,570 --> 00:58:08,397
Stomach.
No, pay me.
1479
00:58:08,441 --> 00:58:10,530
I'’ll pay you after.
Just give me the stomach.
1480
00:58:10,574 --> 00:58:11,879
Oh, a promise from Thea?
1481
00:58:11,923 --> 00:58:13,011
Well, I can'’t take
that to the bank.
1482
00:58:13,054 --> 00:58:14,578
Just pay me now.
Fine.
1483
00:58:18,799 --> 00:58:21,498
Thank you.
Here'’s your fake belly.
1484
00:58:21,541 --> 00:58:22,586
Shut up and get out.
1485
00:58:24,675 --> 00:58:25,980
Hello.
Hey.
1486
00:58:27,721 --> 00:58:29,070
Okay.
1487
00:58:29,114 --> 00:58:30,724
Hey.
Hey.
How are you?
1488
00:58:30,768 --> 00:58:32,073
Good, how are you?Good.
1489
00:58:32,117 --> 00:58:33,771
Um, I-- I just--
I thought I'd stop by.
1490
00:58:33,814 --> 00:58:35,686
Uh, I wanted to
show you something.
1491
00:58:35,729 --> 00:58:39,559
Uh, it'’s our very first
complete copy of the book
1492
00:58:39,603 --> 00:58:41,126
with the cover
and everything.
1493
00:58:41,169 --> 00:58:42,388
That'’s-- That's great.
1494
00:58:42,431 --> 00:58:44,738
And wow, I'’m on the cover.
1495
00:58:44,782 --> 00:58:47,175
Oh. And we booked,
uh, Tynan'’s Bookstore
1496
00:58:47,219 --> 00:58:48,307
for the book launch.
1497
00:58:48,350 --> 00:58:49,787
That'’s awesome.
1498
00:58:49,830 --> 00:58:52,572
Well, um, I should
probably get outta here
1499
00:58:52,616 --> 00:58:53,791
and let you enjoy
your Saturday.
1500
00:58:53,834 --> 00:58:55,357
Well, um,
if you'’re free,
1501
00:58:55,401 --> 00:58:56,837
then do you wanna
get coffee?
1502
00:58:56,881 --> 00:58:57,925
Sure.
1503
00:58:57,969 --> 00:59:00,580
[dog barking]
1504
00:59:00,624 --> 00:59:02,234
[Nick]
I had a dog once.
1505
00:59:02,277 --> 00:59:05,367
Then Jerry stole it,
took it to college with him.
1506
00:59:05,411 --> 00:59:07,413
Oh.
1507
00:59:07,456 --> 00:59:12,244
There'’s something amazing
about having a child.
1508
00:59:12,287 --> 00:59:14,594
It makes you feel like a--
like a part of
1509
00:59:14,638 --> 00:59:17,684
something bigger, you know,
even if it'’s not real.
1510
00:59:17,728 --> 00:59:20,382
Well, for me, that is.
1511
00:59:22,210 --> 00:59:23,560
Lydia didn'’t want children.
1512
00:59:23,603 --> 00:59:26,867
And I never questioned it.
1513
00:59:26,911 --> 00:59:30,697
But now I-- I realize,
1514
00:59:30,741 --> 00:59:35,093
I-- I do want to be a father.
1515
00:59:53,938 --> 00:59:57,506
I'’ve been wanting to do that
for a really long time.
1516
00:59:57,550 --> 01:00:00,248
Actually,
I just-- just did that.
1517
01:00:00,292 --> 01:00:02,076
Right.
1518
01:00:02,120 --> 01:00:04,644
We should probably
take things slowly, though.
1519
01:00:04,688 --> 01:00:06,037
Absolutely.
1520
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:08,039
Yeah.
1521
01:00:08,082 --> 01:00:10,128
♪ A flash of the light
1522
01:00:10,171 --> 01:00:12,783
♪ Is blinding my sight
1523
01:00:12,826 --> 01:00:15,612
♪ It'’s the moment ♪
1524
01:00:15,655 --> 01:00:17,265
♪ I'’m gonna shine ♪
1525
01:00:17,309 --> 01:00:19,877
♪ It'’s finally time ♪
1526
01:00:19,920 --> 01:00:22,183
Uh, I-- I have to--
1527
01:00:22,227 --> 01:00:24,664
I just realized,
I have to go.
1528
01:00:24,708 --> 01:00:26,057
I, um,
there'’s somewhere--
1529
01:00:26,100 --> 01:00:27,319
I-- I have to be somewhere.Sure. Okay.
1530
01:00:27,362 --> 01:00:29,016
My sister.
1531
01:00:29,060 --> 01:00:30,931
So, you just-- I'’ll--
I'’ll talk to you later.
1532
01:00:30,975 --> 01:00:32,977
Oh, okay.Okay.
1533
01:00:33,020 --> 01:00:34,413
♪ My heart
1534
01:00:34,456 --> 01:00:37,285
♪ And I'’m gonna use it ♪
1535
01:00:37,329 --> 01:00:39,461
♪ Got class, a little sass
1536
01:00:39,505 --> 01:00:40,941
♪ In fact, we'’re mummified ♪
1537
01:00:40,985 --> 01:00:42,551
♪ For the oasis, darling
1538
01:00:42,595 --> 01:00:44,858
♪ Free champagne
when we arrive ♪
1539
01:00:44,902 --> 01:00:46,599
♪ Only the best
and never less ♪
1540
01:00:46,643 --> 01:00:48,514
♪ Right here
where we belong ♪
1541
01:00:48,557 --> 01:00:51,299
Yes, she'’s due
the 6th of October.
1542
01:00:51,343 --> 01:00:53,824
All right. Okay.
1543
01:00:53,867 --> 01:00:55,739
That was your friend
Rachel.
1544
01:00:55,782 --> 01:00:57,262
And these are for you.
1545
01:00:57,305 --> 01:00:59,264
She saw the book
at Crown Books.
1546
01:00:59,307 --> 01:01:01,353
How come you didn'’t
tell her you were pregnant?
1547
01:01:01,396 --> 01:01:02,702
Oh, I thought I told her.
1548
01:01:02,746 --> 01:01:03,877
It must have
slipped my mind.
1549
01:01:03,921 --> 01:01:05,183
Pregnancy brain.
1550
01:01:05,226 --> 01:01:07,141
I was planning on
waiting a little longer
1551
01:01:07,185 --> 01:01:09,143
to start a family,
you know.
1552
01:01:09,187 --> 01:01:10,667
Sow my wild oats
a little bit.
1553
01:01:10,710 --> 01:01:14,453
But I feel like there is
a larger purpose for me.
1554
01:01:14,496 --> 01:01:17,238
Thea,
1555
01:01:17,282 --> 01:01:19,719
you need someone who is
smart and responsible.
1556
01:01:19,763 --> 01:01:21,286
Oh, God.
1557
01:01:21,329 --> 01:01:23,114
I offer myself to you,
1558
01:01:23,157 --> 01:01:24,898
mind and body,
heart and soul.
1559
01:01:24,942 --> 01:01:27,422
Let me be your baby daddy.
1560
01:01:27,466 --> 01:01:29,468
Uh...
1561
01:01:29,511 --> 01:01:31,209
that'’s very
generous of you.
1562
01:01:31,252 --> 01:01:33,733
But it'’s-- you know,
that'’s not gonna happen.
1563
01:01:33,777 --> 01:01:35,517
Okay, you know what?
You know what?
1564
01:01:35,561 --> 01:01:37,476
Don'’t-- Don't worry about it.
It'’s a tough decision.
1565
01:01:38,738 --> 01:01:40,609
Thea,
could I talk to you?
1566
01:01:40,653 --> 01:01:42,742
Yeah, sure.
Yes, yes, absolutely.
1567
01:01:42,786 --> 01:01:44,352
If you could let me
know before lunch,
1568
01:01:44,396 --> 01:01:46,354
'’cause I have a JDate
I'’d have to cancel.
1569
01:01:46,398 --> 01:01:48,705
I really don'’t want
to do that if
I don'’t have to.
1570
01:01:48,748 --> 01:01:50,750
She-- she'’s a little
older and stuff.
1571
01:01:52,709 --> 01:01:53,840
So you'’re ready
for tonight?
1572
01:01:53,884 --> 01:01:55,276
Yeah. Totally.
1573
01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:59,019
We should clear the air.
1574
01:01:59,063 --> 01:02:01,718
Um...
1575
01:02:01,761 --> 01:02:05,112
I'’ve been thinking a lot
about what happened.
1576
01:02:05,156 --> 01:02:06,723
And I feel terrible
about it.
1577
01:02:06,766 --> 01:02:07,985
You do?
1578
01:02:08,028 --> 01:02:10,639
I'’m your boss,
and I made a--
1579
01:02:10,683 --> 01:02:12,250
[whispers]
I made a pass at you.
1580
01:02:12,293 --> 01:02:14,643
Nick, that'’s not it.
I made a pass at you.
1581
01:02:14,687 --> 01:02:16,863
I caught that pass,
and I threw it back.
1582
01:02:16,907 --> 01:02:19,431
And I liked it.
You did?
1583
01:02:19,474 --> 01:02:23,348
Look, that-- that'’s not
what it-- it is.
1584
01:02:23,391 --> 01:02:25,350
I'’m just afraid of-- of--
1585
01:02:25,393 --> 01:02:27,787
Some guy named Philip
is at reception.
1586
01:02:27,831 --> 01:02:29,484
He-- He says
he'’s the father?
1587
01:02:29,528 --> 01:02:30,790
Would you want me
to talk to this guy?
1588
01:02:30,834 --> 01:02:32,792
No, no, it'’s okay.
I'’ll--
1589
01:02:32,836 --> 01:02:34,054
I-- I'’ll take
care of it.I'’ll talk to him.
1590
01:02:34,098 --> 01:02:36,709
It'’s okay.
Thank you both. Excuse me.
1591
01:02:36,753 --> 01:02:39,668
Young man, don'’t you
have any sense of
responsibility?
1592
01:02:39,712 --> 01:02:40,844
I didn'’t
even know, lady.
1593
01:02:40,887 --> 01:02:43,150
She never returned
my calls.
1594
01:02:43,194 --> 01:02:44,848
Christ,
is it mine, Thea?
1595
01:02:44,891 --> 01:02:46,763
Believe me,
it'’s not yours.
1596
01:02:46,806 --> 01:02:48,068
You can'’t be sure.
I did the math.
1597
01:02:48,112 --> 01:02:49,504
Believe me, I can be sure.
1598
01:02:49,548 --> 01:02:51,855
I demand a DNA test!Yeah. Great to see you.
1599
01:02:51,898 --> 01:02:53,857
Yeah, I'’ll be happy
to tell her.
Bye.
1600
01:02:53,900 --> 01:02:56,207
That was your sister.
She needs you at home
right away.
1601
01:02:56,250 --> 01:02:57,599
Something about
a fire in the toilet?
1602
01:02:57,643 --> 01:02:59,471
Your toilet'’s on fire?
1603
01:02:59,514 --> 01:03:00,515
Isn'’t that
technically impossible?
1604
01:03:00,559 --> 01:03:02,517
Uh, uh, who'’s Philip?
1605
01:03:02,561 --> 01:03:05,738
An old, old boyfriend.
Big misunderstanding.
1606
01:03:05,782 --> 01:03:07,044
Everything okay?
1607
01:03:07,087 --> 01:03:08,785
Yeah.
Everything'’s okay.
1608
01:03:08,828 --> 01:03:11,352
No worries here.
Completely under control.
1609
01:03:11,396 --> 01:03:13,354
But, uh,
I-- I should probably
get home to my sister.
1610
01:03:13,398 --> 01:03:15,095
I'’ll, um, I'll meet
you at the party.
1611
01:03:15,139 --> 01:03:16,575
Whoa. Sorry.
1612
01:03:30,415 --> 01:03:33,113
[all]
Surprise!
1613
01:03:33,157 --> 01:03:35,507
[cheering]
1614
01:03:35,550 --> 01:03:38,640
Hi, everyone.
Oh, my God, Aunt Betty.
1615
01:03:38,684 --> 01:03:41,643
Surprise, darlin'’.
Darlin'’.
1616
01:03:41,687 --> 01:03:44,211
Yeah.It'’s so good to see you.
1617
01:03:44,255 --> 01:03:47,258
Aunt Jane and I just
drove in from Seattle.
1618
01:03:47,301 --> 01:03:48,912
Oh, thank you.
1619
01:03:48,955 --> 01:03:50,478
It'’s so sweet of you
to do this.
1620
01:03:50,522 --> 01:03:52,698
Oh, thank you.
1621
01:03:54,831 --> 01:03:56,658
[all] Oooh.
1622
01:03:56,702 --> 01:03:59,096
Ooh, it'’s the onesies.Just what I needed.
1623
01:03:59,139 --> 01:04:00,706
We all decorated them.
1624
01:04:00,749 --> 01:04:02,534
Who made this one?
1625
01:04:05,624 --> 01:04:06,886
And this one?
1626
01:04:06,930 --> 01:04:08,540
[babbling]
1627
01:04:08,583 --> 01:04:10,324
Oh, what a good job, Sam.
1628
01:04:12,805 --> 01:04:14,807
[Woman]
What is this?That one'’s mine.
1629
01:04:14,851 --> 01:04:17,288
I just thought it was
a little ironic.
1630
01:04:17,331 --> 01:04:19,507
[doorbell ringing]
1631
01:04:19,551 --> 01:04:21,596
More people are coming.
1632
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:24,599
Hi.Whoa!
1633
01:04:24,643 --> 01:04:26,863
Oh. Hey.
1634
01:04:26,906 --> 01:04:28,647
Well, I hate to
break up the party,
1635
01:04:28,690 --> 01:04:30,736
but, uh,
we need to talk.
1636
01:04:30,779 --> 01:04:32,564
Um, everybody just
hang onto your seats
1637
01:04:32,607 --> 01:04:34,261
just in case
something happens
to her story.
1638
01:04:34,305 --> 01:04:35,349
Uh, you know, I should
probably get changed.
1639
01:04:35,393 --> 01:04:36,916
I need to be at a work event.
1640
01:04:36,960 --> 01:04:38,744
So thank you for
the shower, everyone.
1641
01:04:38,787 --> 01:04:41,529
Thank you.
Bye.
1642
01:04:41,573 --> 01:04:44,097
[murmuring]
1643
01:04:44,141 --> 01:04:47,971
She is so
out of control.
I mean, look.
1644
01:04:48,014 --> 01:04:50,234
She has, like, stockpiled
all of this random stuff
1645
01:04:50,277 --> 01:04:51,670
in her closet.
1646
01:04:51,713 --> 01:04:54,020
I mean, what--
what is this? Seriously.
1647
01:04:54,064 --> 01:04:55,326
It was on sale.
1648
01:04:55,369 --> 01:04:56,849
Okay. I need you to say
1649
01:04:56,893 --> 01:04:59,156
"My name is Thea,
and I am not pregnant."
1650
01:04:59,199 --> 01:05:01,245
This is ridiculous.
And I'’ve gotta go.
1651
01:05:01,288 --> 01:05:03,551
Come here.
1652
01:05:03,595 --> 01:05:07,512
You have got
to come clean.
1653
01:05:07,555 --> 01:05:09,775
I will.
1654
01:05:09,818 --> 01:05:13,474
Okay? I promise.
Just not yet.
1655
01:05:13,518 --> 01:05:15,041
It'’s just
I'’m better pregnant.
1656
01:05:15,085 --> 01:05:17,609
For once,
my life doesn'’t suck.
1657
01:05:17,652 --> 01:05:19,567
And I can'’t go back
to being Jerry'’s secretary
1658
01:05:19,611 --> 01:05:21,352
or unemployed.
1659
01:05:21,395 --> 01:05:22,875
So what are you
gonna do?
1660
01:05:22,919 --> 01:05:24,616
Just stay pregnant
for the rest of your life?
1661
01:05:24,659 --> 01:05:25,922
People will
get suspicious.
1662
01:05:27,619 --> 01:05:28,968
It'’s time to act
like a grownup
1663
01:05:29,012 --> 01:05:30,491
and stop
playing dress-up.
1664
01:05:30,535 --> 01:05:31,710
Oh, my God,
this is ridiculous.
1665
01:05:31,753 --> 01:05:33,364
Take off the stomach now!
1666
01:05:33,407 --> 01:05:35,105
No.Okay.
1667
01:05:35,148 --> 01:05:37,107
Well, then I'm gonna
take it off for you.
1668
01:05:37,150 --> 01:05:39,936
Get off of me!Let me take it off!
1669
01:05:39,979 --> 01:05:43,200
Get off of me.Oh, hey! Hey, guys!
1670
01:05:43,243 --> 01:05:44,288
Emma, stop it!
1671
01:05:44,331 --> 01:05:46,812
[muffled shouting]
1672
01:05:46,855 --> 01:05:50,033
Making noise.They are making noise.
1673
01:05:50,076 --> 01:05:51,860
Make her stop it!
1674
01:05:51,904 --> 01:05:54,037
Hey! Stop it!
I said stop.
1675
01:05:54,080 --> 01:05:56,996
Gosh. Come on.
1676
01:05:57,040 --> 01:05:59,085
Stay back.
Psycho.
1677
01:05:59,129 --> 01:06:01,000
I'’m gonna get
that thing off.Get off of me!
1678
01:06:01,044 --> 01:06:02,915
I'’m gonna
take it off now!
1679
01:06:02,959 --> 01:06:04,961
[gasps]
Give it back.
1680
01:06:05,004 --> 01:06:06,832
[cloth tearing]What are you doing?
1681
01:06:10,009 --> 01:06:13,056
You are so grounded.
Forever!
1682
01:06:18,104 --> 01:06:21,281
[Lisa]
Uh... ladies,
1683
01:06:21,325 --> 01:06:23,849
I think we need
to regroup.
1684
01:06:23,892 --> 01:06:26,417
[Emma]
Stark, raving mad.
1685
01:06:31,465 --> 01:06:32,597
Excuse me.
1686
01:06:32,640 --> 01:06:35,382
[Women gasping]
1687
01:06:35,426 --> 01:06:36,688
What are you doing?
What is going on?
1688
01:06:43,173 --> 01:06:44,261
I thought
she was pregnant.
1689
01:06:44,304 --> 01:06:45,697
[sighs]
1690
01:06:45,740 --> 01:06:46,915
Uh, um...
1691
01:06:48,352 --> 01:06:50,267
[Woman]
I'’m really confused.
1692
01:07:00,886 --> 01:07:02,366
Well, that is the last time
1693
01:07:02,409 --> 01:07:05,412
I throw a surprise party
for anyone.
1694
01:07:05,456 --> 01:07:07,545
That baked ziti
goes home with me.
1695
01:07:07,588 --> 01:07:10,374
[low chatter]
1696
01:07:14,117 --> 01:07:16,641
Sorry. I had to take care
of some things with Em.
1697
01:07:16,684 --> 01:07:18,164
The toilet fire?
1698
01:07:18,208 --> 01:07:19,818
Yeah. I got the blaze
under control.
1699
01:07:19,861 --> 01:07:21,472
You guys are amazing.
1700
01:07:21,515 --> 01:07:23,735
This is a great turnout.
Thank you.
1701
01:07:23,778 --> 01:07:28,392
Okay. Time to struggle
with p-public speaking.
1702
01:07:28,435 --> 01:07:30,089
Sit back and enjoy.
1703
01:07:30,133 --> 01:07:32,135
You'’re gonna be great.Thanks.
1704
01:07:35,790 --> 01:07:38,054
What? What was that?
Are you guys, uh--?
1705
01:07:38,097 --> 01:07:41,144
I don'’t know.
Maybe. Kinda.
1706
01:07:41,187 --> 01:07:43,929
[Suzie]
Oh! Good for you.
1707
01:07:43,972 --> 01:07:46,584
Good evening, everyone.
I'’m back.
1708
01:07:46,627 --> 01:07:48,238
Oh, no.
1709
01:07:48,281 --> 01:07:49,978
MacArthur finished
rehab a week early.
1710
01:07:50,022 --> 01:07:51,371
What'’s the matter, Nicky?
1711
01:07:51,415 --> 01:07:54,113
You don't look
happy to see me.
1712
01:07:54,157 --> 01:07:56,115
Of course I am, Jerry.
Welcome back.
1713
01:07:56,159 --> 01:07:58,161
You'’re just in time
for Suzie'’s reading.
1714
01:07:58,204 --> 01:07:59,901
I got a little surprise
for you.
1715
01:07:59,945 --> 01:08:03,905
I just signed Rumsfeld
for his first book deal!
1716
01:08:03,949 --> 01:08:06,734
Donald?No, Carlos.
Of course Donald.
1717
01:08:06,778 --> 01:08:08,519
I met him at
the rehab facility.
1718
01:08:08,562 --> 01:08:10,782
His cat had
a terrible case of sciatica.
1719
01:08:10,825 --> 01:08:12,479
They had to put
the poor thing on OxyContin.
1720
01:08:12,523 --> 01:08:14,394
She got addicted.
It was a mess.
1721
01:08:14,438 --> 01:08:16,222
Jerry, I'’m kind of
in the middle of
something here.
1722
01:08:16,266 --> 01:08:17,615
Anyway,
Rummy'’s book is genius.
1723
01:08:17,658 --> 01:08:19,443
It'’s gonna put us
back on the map.
1724
01:08:19,486 --> 01:08:21,836
It'’s a completely unique opus
about his time in Iraq,
1725
01:08:21,880 --> 01:08:23,969
sprinkled with some
of his favorite recipes.
1726
01:08:24,012 --> 01:08:26,450
It'’s called Fire It Up.
I'’ve got the manuscript
right here.
1727
01:08:26,493 --> 01:08:29,235
It sounds great, Jerry,
but I'’ve got a reading
right now.
1728
01:08:29,279 --> 01:08:30,715
Can this wait till later?You know what?
1729
01:08:30,758 --> 01:08:32,586
Actually I'’ll be
reading my book.
1730
01:08:32,630 --> 01:08:35,111
I'’m shutting down
your little operation.
1731
01:08:37,417 --> 01:08:39,158
Jerry, Suzie'’s book
is a real gem.
1732
01:08:39,202 --> 01:08:40,899
It could be a hit
for the company.
1733
01:08:40,942 --> 01:08:42,335
What are you so afraid of?
1734
01:08:42,379 --> 01:08:44,163
That I might do
a better job than you?
1735
01:08:44,207 --> 01:08:46,644
Hmm. Let me think.
1736
01:08:46,687 --> 01:08:49,603
Have you ever done better
than me at anything?
1737
01:08:49,647 --> 01:08:51,562
Hello, everybody.
1738
01:08:51,605 --> 01:08:54,260
I'’ve got a real treat
for you tonight.
1739
01:08:54,304 --> 01:08:57,220
I'’m gonna be reading from
Donald Rumsfeld'’s new book.
1740
01:08:57,263 --> 01:08:59,657
Here'’s a particularly
touching passage
1741
01:08:59,700 --> 01:09:02,964
about a short rib recipe
he picked up while in Baghdad.
1742
01:09:03,008 --> 01:09:04,705
Suzie'’s reading!
1743
01:09:04,749 --> 01:09:06,316
Go read your cookbook
somewhere else, Jerry.
1744
01:09:06,359 --> 01:09:09,275
Step away from
the podium, now!
1745
01:09:09,319 --> 01:09:12,713
Make me.
1746
01:09:12,757 --> 01:09:14,411
He begins, "As--"[grunting]
1747
01:09:14,454 --> 01:09:16,848
[all] Ohh!
1748
01:09:16,891 --> 01:09:18,806
[murmuring]
1749
01:09:23,985 --> 01:09:26,597
Okay. Okay.
Stop it! That'’s enough!
1750
01:09:26,640 --> 01:09:29,904
That'’s enough. Stop it!
Get off of him!
1751
01:09:29,948 --> 01:09:31,776
How pathetic.
1752
01:09:31,819 --> 01:09:33,473
You have to have
your secretary defend you.
1753
01:09:33,517 --> 01:09:35,083
She'’s not
a secretary, Jerry.
1754
01:09:35,127 --> 01:09:36,389
Oh, really?
1755
01:09:36,433 --> 01:09:37,738
Then what is she,
other than shrill?
1756
01:09:37,782 --> 01:09:40,959
She'’s a-- She's
a fantastic editor.
1757
01:09:41,002 --> 01:09:45,181
[laughs]
Oh, that'’s rich. An editor.
1758
01:09:45,224 --> 01:09:47,139
So I go away
for a few months,
1759
01:09:47,183 --> 01:09:49,097
and the world'’s
lamest accountant
1760
01:09:49,141 --> 01:09:50,751
is running my company
1761
01:09:50,795 --> 01:09:52,492
with the world'’s
dumbest secretary!
1762
01:09:52,536 --> 01:09:54,233
All I can say is
1763
01:09:54,277 --> 01:09:56,844
I hope your kid doesn'’t
inherit your brains.
1764
01:09:56,888 --> 01:09:59,369
[screams]
1765
01:09:59,412 --> 01:10:00,979
[Suzie]
Careful! Careful!
1766
01:10:01,022 --> 01:10:02,502
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!Oh, God!
1767
01:10:03,808 --> 01:10:05,462
[loud pop]Oh, God!
1768
01:10:05,505 --> 01:10:07,768
[gasps]
1769
01:10:07,812 --> 01:10:09,466
[crowd gasps]
1770
01:10:09,509 --> 01:10:12,208
[Ann] What happened
to your stomach?
1771
01:10:19,302 --> 01:10:22,000
Oh, Nicky.
1772
01:10:22,043 --> 01:10:24,829
You always were such
a good judge of character.
1773
01:10:24,872 --> 01:10:28,659
Nick. I'’m sorry.
I'’m so sorry.
1774
01:10:28,702 --> 01:10:32,358
I never meant for
things to go this far.
1775
01:10:32,402 --> 01:10:34,839
Jerry was gonna fire me,
1776
01:10:34,882 --> 01:10:37,842
and I couldn'’t afford
to get fired.
1777
01:10:37,885 --> 01:10:39,060
And I thought
the whole thing
1778
01:10:39,104 --> 01:10:40,453
would blow over
in a day or two.
1779
01:10:40,497 --> 01:10:42,934
Blow over in a day or two?
1780
01:10:46,894 --> 01:10:49,245
What kind of person
pretends to be pregnant?
1781
01:10:54,554 --> 01:10:56,948
Nick, I'’m sorry,
just--
1782
01:10:56,991 --> 01:11:00,081
Please just--
Nick.
1783
01:11:08,133 --> 01:11:12,137
♪ I do my best
to save myself ♪
1784
01:11:14,618 --> 01:11:17,403
♪ But I don'’t have
the time to say ♪
1785
01:11:17,447 --> 01:11:18,926
Hey, Nick. It'’s Thea.
1786
01:11:18,970 --> 01:11:21,668
Um, kind of wondering
what you were up to.
1787
01:11:21,712 --> 01:11:24,236
Kind of assuming that
some of what you'’re up to
1788
01:11:24,280 --> 01:11:25,716
is hating me.
1789
01:11:25,759 --> 01:11:28,153
Kind of feeling
very bad about that.
1790
01:11:28,196 --> 01:11:30,808
Anyway, call me.
1791
01:11:30,851 --> 01:11:33,637
♪ I say I care,
but, babe, I never ♪
1792
01:11:33,680 --> 01:11:35,943
Hi, Nick. Thea again.
1793
01:11:35,987 --> 01:11:40,339
Um, I just want to say
that I'’m so, so sorry.
1794
01:11:40,383 --> 01:11:41,949
I was. I was.
1795
01:11:41,993 --> 01:11:44,082
I was talking to
your mother about it and,
1796
01:11:44,125 --> 01:11:45,910
you know, she and I
are on the same page
on this thing.
1797
01:11:45,953 --> 01:11:48,173
I would rather say
extra virgin olive oil.
1798
01:11:48,216 --> 01:11:51,002
I don'’t want to
abbreviate it. EVOO.
I mean, it'’s--
1799
01:11:51,045 --> 01:11:53,613
Hi, Nick, it'’s me.
1800
01:11:53,657 --> 01:11:55,659
Uh, I know you haven'’t
been interested
1801
01:11:55,702 --> 01:11:57,095
in picking up the phone.
1802
01:11:57,138 --> 01:11:58,531
But I just wanted to tell you
1803
01:11:58,575 --> 01:12:00,446
how much I really, really--
1804
01:12:00,490 --> 01:12:03,710
[answering machine beeps]
1805
01:12:03,754 --> 01:12:05,495
[doorbell rings]
1806
01:12:12,589 --> 01:12:16,157
Hi.
Hi.
1807
01:12:18,203 --> 01:12:20,901
Wow.
1808
01:12:20,945 --> 01:12:23,208
[sighs] So.
1809
01:12:25,515 --> 01:12:28,431
What have you been up to?
1810
01:12:28,474 --> 01:12:30,911
Hmm. Watching The Vista
on an endless loop.
1811
01:12:30,955 --> 01:12:32,609
It'’s self-inflicted torture.
1812
01:12:32,652 --> 01:12:34,698
That sounds healthy.
1813
01:12:34,741 --> 01:12:37,353
Well, it smells like
something died in here.
1814
01:12:37,396 --> 01:12:38,441
It did.
1815
01:12:38,484 --> 01:12:40,312
My soul.
1816
01:12:40,356 --> 01:12:43,446
Thea. You'’ve gotta give
yourself a tiny break.
1817
01:12:43,489 --> 01:12:44,534
People make mistakes.
1818
01:12:44,577 --> 01:12:45,926
I majorly screwed up.
1819
01:12:45,970 --> 01:12:48,755
Well, look on
the bright side.
1820
01:12:48,799 --> 01:12:50,801
They'’re still
talking about it at work.
1821
01:12:50,844 --> 01:12:52,280
How'’s Nick doing?
1822
01:12:52,324 --> 01:12:54,500
I don'’t know.
He resigned.
1823
01:12:54,544 --> 01:12:56,372
What?Mm-hmm.
1824
01:12:56,415 --> 01:12:58,591
Well, did he say anything
about what he'’s gonna do?
1825
01:12:58,635 --> 01:13:00,201
If you'’re asking me
if he said he was gonna
1826
01:13:00,245 --> 01:13:01,725
track you down
and propose to you
1827
01:13:01,768 --> 01:13:04,510
so you could spend the rest
of your lives together?
1828
01:13:04,554 --> 01:13:06,425
No. He didn'’t mention
anything specific.
1829
01:13:06,469 --> 01:13:09,428
I'’ve been calling him
and calling him.
1830
01:13:09,472 --> 01:13:10,995
And he won't call me back.
1831
01:13:11,038 --> 01:13:13,563
Yeah, well, maybe that
has something to do with
1832
01:13:13,606 --> 01:13:15,739
the massively twisted lie
you'’ve been telling him
1833
01:13:15,782 --> 01:13:17,175
for the last few months.
1834
01:13:17,218 --> 01:13:20,744
Do you think he'’ll
ever forgive me?
1835
01:13:20,787 --> 01:13:22,310
Do you want me
to be honest
1836
01:13:22,354 --> 01:13:25,009
or do you want me
to make you feel better?
1837
01:13:25,052 --> 01:13:26,924
How are Suzie'’s book sales?
1838
01:13:26,967 --> 01:13:29,056
Good.
1839
01:13:29,100 --> 01:13:32,712
You know, uh,
there'’s still a few boxes
1840
01:13:32,756 --> 01:13:34,975
that we need to distribute
here and there.
1841
01:13:35,019 --> 01:13:36,499
Oh, no.
1842
01:13:48,641 --> 01:13:50,991
Sorry. Hey.
1843
01:13:51,035 --> 01:13:52,950
Hey.
1844
01:13:52,993 --> 01:13:55,474
Mind if I join you?
1845
01:13:55,518 --> 01:13:57,824
It'’s a free country.
1846
01:14:08,531 --> 01:14:11,229
Mmm.
What'’s in this? Mint?
1847
01:14:11,272 --> 01:14:13,536
Yep.
1848
01:14:13,579 --> 01:14:15,320
It'’s perfect
with the pear.
1849
01:14:15,363 --> 01:14:17,104
So unexpected.
1850
01:14:17,148 --> 01:14:19,455
Yeah. That was
actually, um, my idea.
1851
01:14:19,498 --> 01:14:22,153
I kind of just thought
it would work.
1852
01:14:22,196 --> 01:14:25,286
Dad would have loved it.
1853
01:14:25,330 --> 01:14:27,506
Mom would have thought
it was too fussy.
1854
01:14:27,550 --> 01:14:29,203
But she would have
polished off
1855
01:14:29,247 --> 01:14:31,554
all the leftovers
after everyone
went to bed.
1856
01:14:36,733 --> 01:14:38,430
I'’m a big fat liar,
1857
01:14:38,474 --> 01:14:41,651
and I'’m sorry
you got stuck with me.
1858
01:14:41,694 --> 01:14:42,913
Listen, Em.
1859
01:14:42,956 --> 01:14:45,524
We'’re gonna make
this work. Okay?
1860
01:14:45,568 --> 01:14:47,395
I made an appointment
with the Culinary Institute
1861
01:14:47,439 --> 01:14:49,354
to talk
about student loans.
1862
01:14:49,397 --> 01:14:52,531
And I talked to Miss Talbert
about scholarships.
1863
01:14:52,575 --> 01:14:54,011
You know, Mom and Dad
1864
01:14:54,054 --> 01:14:55,882
would have been
so proud of you.
1865
01:14:55,926 --> 01:14:57,493
Thanks.
1866
01:15:01,845 --> 01:15:03,194
[no audible dialogue]
1867
01:15:03,237 --> 01:15:05,413
♪ We sit around
1868
01:15:05,457 --> 01:15:08,808
♪ Looking for flaws
in diamonds ♪
1869
01:15:08,852 --> 01:15:13,813
Needs, um...
I think ten more minutes.
1870
01:15:13,857 --> 01:15:15,511
I don'’t have
ten more minutes.
1871
01:15:15,554 --> 01:15:17,382
Yeah, but it'’s gonna be
all gooey inside.
1872
01:15:17,425 --> 01:15:19,210
Well, I'’ll just have
to take my chances.
1873
01:15:19,253 --> 01:15:23,388
[Man] Here she comes.
Here comes Claire, everybody.
1874
01:15:23,431 --> 01:15:25,129
I love you.
Oh.
1875
01:15:25,172 --> 01:15:27,131
I haven'’t missed a show
in five years.
1876
01:15:27,174 --> 01:15:28,828
Thank you. Thank you.
But you should get out more.
1877
01:15:28,872 --> 01:15:30,351
I'’m kidding.
I'’m kidding.
1878
01:15:30,395 --> 01:15:32,136
Hi, I'’m Thea Clayhill,
your biggest fan.
1879
01:15:32,179 --> 01:15:33,659
I made you
some pineapple cake.
1880
01:15:33,703 --> 01:15:34,791
It'’s your favorite, right?
1881
01:15:34,834 --> 01:15:36,444
Yes, it is.
Good reconnaissance.
1882
01:15:36,488 --> 01:15:38,708
Good for you.
1883
01:15:38,751 --> 01:15:40,623
How'’d you know
about the cake?
1884
01:15:40,666 --> 01:15:42,146
Oh, her May 15th show.
1885
01:15:42,189 --> 01:15:43,277
Yeah, she said it
in passing.
1886
01:15:43,321 --> 01:15:46,193
Hi.
1887
01:15:46,237 --> 01:15:47,412
I have some books for you.
1888
01:15:47,455 --> 01:15:48,587
Oh. Oh, great.
1889
01:15:48,631 --> 01:15:49,762
Just leave '’em
right over there.
1890
01:15:49,806 --> 01:15:52,199
Okay.
Keep your womb open.
1891
01:15:52,243 --> 01:15:53,810
Got it.
Bye.
1892
01:15:53,853 --> 01:15:56,769
I actually would like
even more toppings on my--
1893
01:15:56,813 --> 01:15:58,597
Hello.
1894
01:15:58,641 --> 01:16:01,469
Hey. Thea Clayhill,
your number 1 fan
with banana cream pie.
1895
01:16:01,513 --> 01:16:03,254
Well, you do
your homework.
1896
01:16:03,297 --> 01:16:04,951
I hope it'’s as delicious
as your pineapple cake.
1897
01:16:04,995 --> 01:16:09,086
♪ And we chase heartbreak
1898
01:16:09,129 --> 01:16:13,133
♪ Where we can see
heartbreak don'’t belong ♪
1899
01:16:13,177 --> 01:16:16,136
Maybe you can hit
a few more potholes next time.
1900
01:16:16,180 --> 01:16:17,964
[Man]
Claire, I love you.
1901
01:16:18,008 --> 01:16:19,705
[Woman] Oh, my God.
There she is. Claire!
1902
01:16:19,749 --> 01:16:22,186
There she is.
My number 1 fan,
Thea Clayhill.
1903
01:16:22,229 --> 01:16:24,188
Uh, pear ginger pie.
1904
01:16:24,231 --> 01:16:26,494
Nicely done,
Betty Crocker.
1905
01:16:26,538 --> 01:16:28,453
It'’s actually not me,
it'’s my little sister.
1906
01:16:28,496 --> 01:16:29,846
So what'’s your angle?
1907
01:16:29,889 --> 01:16:31,325
Besides trying to
make me a big fat pig.
1908
01:16:31,369 --> 01:16:32,805
You want to get
your little sister on TV?
1909
01:16:32,849 --> 01:16:34,415
I really want to get
this book on TV.
1910
01:16:34,459 --> 01:16:37,114
It'’s, um--
it'’s really special.
1911
01:16:37,157 --> 01:16:39,290
Okay. Thank you.
1912
01:16:39,333 --> 01:16:41,248
Thanks.
1913
01:16:41,292 --> 01:16:43,163
[Lisa]
Good luck.
1914
01:16:55,045 --> 01:16:58,178
Hi.
Hi.
1915
01:17:00,877 --> 01:17:03,793
I bet I'’m the last person
you wanted to see right now.
1916
01:17:03,836 --> 01:17:07,013
Well, maybe not
the last person.
1917
01:17:07,057 --> 01:17:10,060
Maybe the second
or third to last person.
1918
01:17:10,103 --> 01:17:11,452
I wouldn'’t want to see
my 6th grade
1919
01:17:11,496 --> 01:17:13,237
English teacher,
Ms. Posey.
1920
01:17:13,280 --> 01:17:14,673
She was awful.
1921
01:17:14,717 --> 01:17:16,109
Or my college boyfriend.
1922
01:17:16,153 --> 01:17:17,371
He dumped me on
an answering machine.
1923
01:17:17,415 --> 01:17:21,288
Listen, Suzie.
I'’m really sorry.
1924
01:17:21,332 --> 01:17:22,550
I really wish
I could have been
1925
01:17:22,594 --> 01:17:24,161
the person
you thought I was.
1926
01:17:24,204 --> 01:17:26,119
I just figured
if I told you the truth,
1927
01:17:26,163 --> 01:17:27,512
you wouldn'’t want me
in your life,
1928
01:17:27,555 --> 01:17:30,428
and I really enjoyed
being in yours.
1929
01:17:30,471 --> 01:17:33,213
I really enjoyed
being in your life, too,
1930
01:17:33,257 --> 01:17:35,476
for what it'’s worth.
1931
01:17:35,520 --> 01:17:37,740
Well, I'’ve got
some really good news.
1932
01:17:37,783 --> 01:17:39,089
We'’re gonna--
1933
01:17:39,132 --> 01:17:42,048
[screaming]Oh, my God, are you okay?
1934
01:17:42,092 --> 01:17:43,310
The baby'’s coming.
1935
01:17:43,354 --> 01:17:44,703
Right now? Now?
1936
01:17:44,747 --> 01:17:46,705
My water broke this morning.
1937
01:17:46,749 --> 01:17:48,446
My contractions
started an hour ago.
1938
01:17:48,489 --> 01:17:51,014
[screaming]Uh, where is everyone?
1939
01:17:51,057 --> 01:17:53,016
Jesse'’s on his way.
1940
01:17:53,059 --> 01:17:54,365
Okay.
Uh, what should I do?
1941
01:17:54,408 --> 01:17:56,628
Hot water? Towels?
You know what?
1942
01:17:56,672 --> 01:17:58,717
On second thought,
let'’s just get in the car
and go to the hospital.
1943
01:17:58,761 --> 01:18:01,024
Yeah, I think
the hospital'’s better
because a lot of people
1944
01:18:01,067 --> 01:18:02,678
can help us there
and I can'’t really
do much here.
1945
01:18:02,721 --> 01:18:04,288
No. No, no, no, no.
I'’m fine. I'm fine.
1946
01:18:04,331 --> 01:18:05,637
My contraction ended.
1947
01:18:05,681 --> 01:18:07,813
It'’ll be hours
before I have this baby.
1948
01:18:07,857 --> 01:18:09,510
And it'’s already
that painful?
1949
01:18:09,554 --> 01:18:11,991
You ain'’t seen nothin' yet.
1950
01:18:12,035 --> 01:18:13,297
It'’s gonna get
a whole lot worse
1951
01:18:13,340 --> 01:18:14,428
before we turn
this mother out.
1952
01:18:14,472 --> 01:18:17,257
Oh.
What were you saying?
1953
01:18:17,301 --> 01:18:19,129
Oh, um, The Vistawants you.
1954
01:18:19,172 --> 01:18:21,914
[screaming]Are you sure this is normal?
1955
01:18:21,958 --> 01:18:24,134
Yes, it'’s fine.
1956
01:18:24,177 --> 01:18:26,397
The Vista?
That's amazing. When?
1957
01:18:26,440 --> 01:18:28,747
In two hours.
They had a cancellation.
1958
01:18:28,791 --> 01:18:31,576
Yeah. That'’s not gonna
work for me.
1959
01:18:31,619 --> 01:18:34,361
[heavy exhaling][heavy exhaling]
1960
01:18:34,405 --> 01:18:37,234
Hurry!
We'’re gonna be late!
1961
01:18:42,065 --> 01:18:43,544
Hello. How are you?
1962
01:18:49,637 --> 01:18:51,335
Hi. I was going to
ask you if--
1963
01:18:51,378 --> 01:18:52,989
[baby crying]
1964
01:18:53,032 --> 01:18:55,774
I think I'’m sitting
on something.
1965
01:18:55,818 --> 01:18:58,081
Oh. Try this.Hey, Em, it'’s me.
1966
01:18:58,124 --> 01:19:00,083
Hey. I desperately
need a favor.
1967
01:19:00,126 --> 01:19:03,390
Here you go.
Don'’t cry, don't cry.
1968
01:19:06,089 --> 01:19:08,744
[doorbell rings]
1969
01:19:08,787 --> 01:19:13,096
[knocking]
1970
01:19:13,139 --> 01:19:14,750
Emma.Hi, Nick.
1971
01:19:14,793 --> 01:19:16,099
What are you doing here?
1972
01:19:16,142 --> 01:19:18,188
Um, I have to
take you somewhere.
1973
01:19:18,231 --> 01:19:20,277
Excuse me?
[sighs]
1974
01:19:20,320 --> 01:19:21,844
Please, just don'’t
make me explain.
1975
01:19:21,887 --> 01:19:23,454
It'’s really easiest
if you just get your keys.
1976
01:19:23,497 --> 01:19:25,151
We really have to go.
1977
01:19:25,195 --> 01:19:27,023
Emma.
Come on!
1978
01:19:27,066 --> 01:19:29,112
Well, now you'’re just
pulling our legs,
1979
01:19:29,155 --> 01:19:30,940
collectively.
1980
01:19:30,983 --> 01:19:32,898
We absolutely have
to begin in three minutes.
1981
01:19:32,942 --> 01:19:35,379
Your guy better get here.I promise he'’ll be here.
1982
01:19:35,422 --> 01:19:38,251
He'’ll be here.
It'’s gonna be great.
1983
01:19:38,295 --> 01:19:40,166
I don'’t know what's
keeping him so long.
1984
01:19:40,210 --> 01:19:41,994
I think it'’d be really fun
to have you back again.
1985
01:19:42,038 --> 01:19:44,257
When we come back, I'’m:
1986
01:19:44,301 --> 01:19:47,521
So Over This: What It'’s
Really Like to Be Pregnant.
1987
01:19:47,565 --> 01:19:49,262
So stick around.[applause]
1988
01:19:49,306 --> 01:19:51,177
Okay. I need four asses
in those seats right now.
1989
01:19:51,221 --> 01:19:53,397
Oh, my God, Lisa.
What are we gonna do?
1990
01:19:53,440 --> 01:19:55,007
You'’re gonna go.What?
1991
01:19:55,051 --> 01:19:56,313
Great.I don'’t wanna go.
1992
01:19:56,356 --> 01:19:59,403
Yeah.
Hello. Hi.
1993
01:19:59,446 --> 01:20:01,840
How are you? Thank you.
Loved the book.
1994
01:20:01,884 --> 01:20:03,276
Thank you. Come on in.
1995
01:20:03,320 --> 01:20:05,278
Oh. Hello, little baby.
1996
01:20:05,322 --> 01:20:06,671
Come on up. Hi. Hello.
1997
01:20:06,714 --> 01:20:10,762
Wow. Laura.
What an amazing story.
1998
01:20:10,806 --> 01:20:12,416
I cannot believe
that beautiful baby
1999
01:20:12,459 --> 01:20:13,983
was born at the DMV.
2000
01:20:14,026 --> 01:20:16,550
Great. So, Thea.
Any kids?
2001
01:20:16,594 --> 01:20:18,857
Oh, no.
Never been pregnant.
2002
01:20:18,901 --> 01:20:20,554
So why another pregnancy book?
2003
01:20:20,598 --> 01:20:22,600
Don'’t you think
the market'’s a bit flooded?
2004
01:20:22,643 --> 01:20:24,341
Well,
this one'’s different.
2005
01:20:24,384 --> 01:20:26,125
It'’s not a how-to book
2006
01:20:26,169 --> 01:20:28,388
or a bunch of rules
and recipes.
2007
01:20:28,432 --> 01:20:29,999
These stories
are ultimately
2008
01:20:30,042 --> 01:20:31,957
about the birth
of a new love--
2009
01:20:32,001 --> 01:20:33,480
We'’re late.I can'’t believe
she booked with Vista.
2010
01:20:33,524 --> 01:20:35,700
...and how it can be
messy and weird,
2011
01:20:35,743 --> 01:20:37,876
but in the end you'’re
so much stronger
2012
01:20:37,920 --> 01:20:39,573
for having
gone through it.
2013
01:20:39,617 --> 01:20:42,750
Even if you did
something you
may regret.
2014
01:20:42,794 --> 01:20:46,058
And to be honest,
I was just helping out.
2015
01:20:46,102 --> 01:20:49,061
You know, I shouldn'’t even
really be sitting up here.
2016
01:20:49,105 --> 01:20:50,802
It was Nick Steinwald,
2017
01:20:50,846 --> 01:20:52,717
who'’s sitting in
the audience right now.
2018
01:20:52,760 --> 01:20:55,024
He'’s responsible
for the whole thing.
2019
01:20:55,067 --> 01:20:57,113
He believed in the book
from the beginning,
2020
01:20:57,156 --> 01:21:00,333
and he believed in me.
2021
01:21:00,377 --> 01:21:04,860
And I really can'’t
thank him enough for that.
2022
01:21:04,903 --> 01:21:07,166
Well, why don'’t
we try, everybody?
2023
01:21:07,210 --> 01:21:09,081
How about it?
Nick Steinwald, stand up.
2024
01:21:09,125 --> 01:21:12,084
Stand up.
2025
01:21:12,128 --> 01:21:13,607
[Claire]
Get him a mic.
2026
01:21:16,219 --> 01:21:17,785
So she sings your praises.
2027
01:21:17,829 --> 01:21:19,396
What is it about the book
that appealed to you?
2028
01:21:19,439 --> 01:21:23,922
Um, well,
I thought Suzie'’s book
2029
01:21:23,966 --> 01:21:26,925
had a-- a fresh and funny
perspective on pregnancy.
2030
01:21:26,969 --> 01:21:29,406
You know, Thea was right
when she said it was a book
2031
01:21:29,449 --> 01:21:32,452
about how love can see
you through anything.
2032
01:21:32,496 --> 01:21:36,152
And-- And how
2033
01:21:36,195 --> 01:21:39,024
if you love someone,
2034
01:21:39,068 --> 01:21:41,940
you can forgive them
for all of
2035
01:21:41,984 --> 01:21:46,336
the crazy and idiotic
things they do.
2036
01:21:46,379 --> 01:21:49,513
Because love is
a leap of faith,
2037
01:21:49,556 --> 01:21:53,430
and sometimes
2038
01:21:53,473 --> 01:21:55,606
you just have to jump.
2039
01:21:55,649 --> 01:21:57,390
Don'’t you?
2040
01:21:59,958 --> 01:22:01,525
Wow. Okay.
2041
01:22:01,568 --> 01:22:03,179
I'’m gonna jump
in here for a second
2042
01:22:03,222 --> 01:22:04,920
and, uh, thank you
both so much.
2043
01:22:04,963 --> 01:22:07,270
Again, the book is
I'm So Over This:
2044
01:22:07,313 --> 01:22:09,098
What It'’s Really Like
to Be Pregnant.
2045
01:22:09,141 --> 01:22:11,448
And for more information
there'’s a link on our website,
2046
01:22:11,491 --> 01:22:12,623
TheVista.com.
2047
01:22:12,666 --> 01:22:13,972
One last thing.
2048
01:22:14,016 --> 01:22:15,495
Nick, do you know
how cute you are?
2049
01:22:15,539 --> 01:22:17,062
Uh, no.
2050
01:22:17,106 --> 01:22:18,977
No, he doesn'’t.
He doesn'’t, does he?
2051
01:22:19,021 --> 01:22:21,284
Okay,
thank you very much.
2052
01:22:21,327 --> 01:22:22,938
[applause]
2053
01:22:41,608 --> 01:22:44,263
Hey, hey, hey.
Guess what.
2054
01:22:44,307 --> 01:22:46,831
The producer said there'’s
been over a 100,000 hits
2055
01:22:46,874 --> 01:22:48,659
on the show'’s link
to your book.
2056
01:22:48,702 --> 01:22:50,878
Yeah.That'’s fantastic.
2057
01:22:50,922 --> 01:22:52,141
Yes, it is.Thanks, Claire.
2058
01:22:52,184 --> 01:22:54,752
Okay. Thank you.
2059
01:22:54,795 --> 01:22:55,971
Hey.
2060
01:22:58,234 --> 01:22:59,322
Thank you.
2061
01:22:59,365 --> 01:23:02,281
It'’s the least I could do.
2062
01:23:02,325 --> 01:23:03,587
I meant what I said
2063
01:23:03,630 --> 01:23:05,545
about I can'’t
thank you enough,
2064
01:23:05,589 --> 01:23:07,983
you know,
now that it'’s all over.
2065
01:23:08,026 --> 01:23:09,723
What'’s over?
2066
01:23:09,767 --> 01:23:13,553
Working together,
being together.
2067
01:23:13,597 --> 01:23:16,252
Just togetherness
in general.
2068
01:23:16,295 --> 01:23:19,559
It doesn'’t have to be.
2069
01:23:19,603 --> 01:23:21,039
We made
a good book together.
2070
01:23:21,083 --> 01:23:22,475
We can make another one.
2071
01:23:22,519 --> 01:23:24,564
Would you wanna do that?
2072
01:23:24,608 --> 01:23:26,827
Yes. Yes, I would.
2073
01:23:49,111 --> 01:23:50,721
Still feel backed up?
2074
01:23:50,764 --> 01:23:53,332
Thanks, Greg.
2075
01:23:53,376 --> 01:23:56,335
Should it freak me out
that he knows more about
your bowels than I do?
2076
01:23:56,379 --> 01:23:59,034
Uh, maybe that'’s
a good thing.
2077
01:23:59,077 --> 01:24:01,210
If I'’ve been timing
these right,
2078
01:24:01,253 --> 01:24:03,081
and I'’m sure I have,
you'’re up in
2079
01:24:03,125 --> 01:24:06,084
10, 9, 8, 7--
2080
01:24:06,128 --> 01:24:07,346
[screams]
2081
01:24:07,390 --> 01:24:08,695
Yes! Just six seconds off.
2082
01:24:08,739 --> 01:24:10,045
What I'’d miss?
2083
01:24:10,088 --> 01:24:11,263
Uh, we'’re contracting
every half hour.
2084
01:24:11,307 --> 01:24:13,352
Okay.
You okay?
Yeah.
2085
01:24:13,396 --> 01:24:15,920
At this rate,
we'’re gonna kick
this puppy out at 0900.
2086
01:24:15,963 --> 01:24:17,748
Oh, they should
head out now.
2087
01:24:17,791 --> 01:24:19,663
Stat.No one'’s going anywhere.
2088
01:24:19,706 --> 01:24:21,491
The doctor said to wait
until they're every 15--
2089
01:24:21,534 --> 01:24:23,232
[screams]Oh, oh, okay.
2090
01:24:23,275 --> 01:24:24,798
Wait.
You'’re-- You're way off.
2091
01:24:24,842 --> 01:24:26,409
Oh, that one hurt.You'’re way off here.
2092
01:24:26,452 --> 01:24:27,845
That one was not good.
2093
01:24:27,888 --> 01:24:30,108
Sweet Jesus.
Thea'’s having a baby. Now!
2094
01:24:30,152 --> 01:24:32,545
Okay. No, no, no--What are we gonna do?
2095
01:24:32,589 --> 01:24:34,069
What the hell
are we going to do?Move, move, move!
2096
01:24:34,112 --> 01:24:35,635
Well, good luck
on your APGAR scores.
2097
01:24:35,679 --> 01:24:37,072
My baby got a perfect 10.
2098
01:24:37,115 --> 01:24:38,247
I mean, your baby'’s
gonna do well.
2099
01:24:38,290 --> 01:24:39,639
Maybe like a 7
or an 8.
2100
01:24:39,683 --> 01:24:41,250
If it'’s a boy,
feel free to name him Carl.
2101
01:24:41,293 --> 01:24:42,860
I love you guys.Go get '’em, champ.
2102
01:24:42,903 --> 01:24:45,819
No matter what
they tell you,
get the epidural!
2103
01:24:45,863 --> 01:24:47,473
Don'’t screw
this up, you two.
2104
01:24:47,517 --> 01:24:49,301
Let'’s hope!Are you ready?
2105
01:24:49,345 --> 01:24:50,694
Let'’s hope!I love you.
2106
01:24:50,737 --> 01:24:51,825
I love you, too.
2107
01:24:51,869 --> 01:24:53,262
But this is
all your fault!
2108
01:24:53,305 --> 01:24:54,828
Semper Fi.
2109
01:24:54,872 --> 01:24:57,440
Push! Oh, not yet.
2110
01:24:57,483 --> 01:25:00,399
Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA
2111
01:25:02,619 --> 01:25:04,577
♪♪ [rock]
2112
01:25:17,938 --> 01:25:20,506
♪ Next to argyle
2113
01:25:20,550 --> 01:25:22,726
♪ You are gingersnap
2114
01:25:22,769 --> 01:25:25,032
♪ Cousin to chimpanzee
2115
01:25:25,076 --> 01:25:27,252
♪ You came swinging
2116
01:25:27,296 --> 01:25:29,124
♪ In my life
2117
01:25:29,167 --> 01:25:33,215
♪ Munkeys kill
the misérables ♪
2118
01:25:33,258 --> 01:25:35,826
♪ Hey
2119
01:25:35,869 --> 01:25:37,132
♪ Hey
2120
01:25:37,175 --> 01:25:38,872
♪ Oh sadder days
2121
01:25:38,916 --> 01:25:42,789
♪ No longer,
we should celebrate ♪
2122
01:25:42,833 --> 01:25:50,536
♪ No, no misérables
2123
01:26:00,067 --> 01:26:02,461
♪ Next to argyle
2124
01:26:02,505 --> 01:26:04,550
♪ You are June perfume
2125
01:26:04,594 --> 01:26:07,031
♪ Fairweather trampoline
2126
01:26:07,074 --> 01:26:08,989
♪ Fell off, well get back
2127
01:26:09,033 --> 01:26:11,166
♪ In my life
2128
01:26:11,209 --> 01:26:15,518
♪ Munkeys kill
the misérables ♪
2129
01:26:15,561 --> 01:26:16,562
♪ Hey
2130
01:26:16,606 --> 01:26:19,217
♪ On holidays
2131
01:26:19,261 --> 01:26:21,437
♪ We should never stray
2132
01:26:21,480 --> 01:26:23,787
♪ No, never, ever
2133
01:26:23,830 --> 01:26:25,789
♪ Another one goes by
2134
01:26:25,832 --> 01:26:27,965
♪ Here comes the broom,
it sweeps by ♪
2135
01:26:28,008 --> 01:26:30,185
♪ Trust fades
to "F Word" drive by'’s ♪
2136
01:26:30,228 --> 01:26:31,838
♪ I never hated
2137
01:26:31,882 --> 01:26:34,406
♪ But now my hate'’s
so strong ♪
2138
01:26:34,450 --> 01:26:36,626
♪ Cuz I don'’t want ♪
2139
01:26:36,669 --> 01:26:40,543
♪ To fall in love
with a maybe ♪
2140
01:26:42,284 --> 01:26:46,636
♪ I could be wrong
2141
01:26:46,679 --> 01:26:51,554
♪ I could be wrong
2142
01:26:51,597 --> 01:26:55,949
♪ I could be wrong
2143
01:26:55,993 --> 01:26:58,256
♪ And I could be...
2144
01:26:58,300 --> 01:27:00,563
♪ Next to argyle
2145
01:27:00,606 --> 01:27:02,956
♪ We are off the tracks
2146
01:27:03,000 --> 01:27:05,263
♪ Trust is necessity
2147
01:27:05,307 --> 01:27:09,136
♪ In time,
it gets back in your life ♪
2148
01:27:09,180 --> 01:27:13,880
♪ Munkeys kill
the misérables ♪
2149
01:27:13,924 --> 01:27:16,013
♪ Hey
2150
01:27:16,056 --> 01:27:17,275
♪ Hey
2151
01:27:17,319 --> 01:27:20,060
♪ Oh Saturdays, no longer
2152
01:27:20,104 --> 01:27:23,281
♪ We should sell
our brains ♪
2153
01:27:23,325 --> 01:27:30,897
♪ No, no misérables
2154
01:27:30,941 --> 01:27:33,857
♪ And on holidays
2155
01:27:33,900 --> 01:27:36,163
♪ We will never stray
2156
01:27:36,207 --> 01:27:38,688
♪ No, never, ever stop
2157
01:27:38,731 --> 01:27:40,385
♪ It'’s gonna be
all right ♪
2158
01:27:40,429 --> 01:27:42,474
♪ Here comes the broom,
it sweeps by ♪
2159
01:27:42,518 --> 01:27:44,824
♪ This time it sweeps
on right by ♪
2160
01:27:44,868 --> 01:27:46,304
♪ We now know
2161
01:27:46,348 --> 01:27:48,915
♪ How to mess
with major miss ♪
2162
01:27:48,959 --> 01:27:50,917
♪ Cuz I can'’t wait ♪
2163
01:27:50,961 --> 01:27:53,050
♪ To fall in love
2164
01:27:53,093 --> 01:27:56,880
♪ With you, baby
2165
01:27:56,923 --> 01:27:58,534
♪ Again
2166
01:28:26,736 --> 01:28:31,523
♪ And I could be wrong
2167
01:28:31,567 --> 01:28:36,572
♪ I could be wrong
2168
01:28:36,615 --> 01:28:40,924
♪ I could be wrong
2169
01:28:40,967 --> 01:28:46,233
♪ And I could be wrong
2170
01:28:46,277 --> 01:28:50,325
♪ And I could be wrong
2171
01:28:50,368 --> 01:28:55,286
♪ And I could be wrong
2172
01:28:55,330 --> 01:28:58,898
♪ And I could be wrong
146514
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