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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:09,000 I'm-- I'm inside you. 2 00:00:09,100 --> 00:00:10,567 I know, yeah. 3 00:00:10,667 --> 00:00:14,000 [breathing heavily] 4 00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:18,000 It feels so good making love to you. 5 00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:19,067 [moaning] 6 00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:25,400 Oh! 7 00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:26,300 [moaning] 8 00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:27,933 Ah! 9 00:00:28,033 --> 00:00:28,933 Meg. 10 00:00:29,033 --> 00:00:31,467 Open your eyes. 11 00:00:31,567 --> 00:00:32,933 Look at me. 12 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,233 What do you want, Meg? 13 00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:36,033 Uh. 14 00:00:36,133 --> 00:00:37,767 Tell me what you want. 15 00:00:37,867 --> 00:00:40,533 This. 16 00:00:40,633 --> 00:00:41,600 Oh. 17 00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:42,633 Oh, yeah. 18 00:00:42,733 --> 00:00:44,433 Oh, that's better. 19 00:00:44,533 --> 00:00:45,633 Yeah. 20 00:00:45,733 --> 00:00:47,133 Ah, That's dark. 21 00:00:47,233 --> 00:01:01,100 [theme music playing] 22 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,700 ANDREW: Bye, guys. LAURA: Bye, Andrew. 23 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:03,633 BUNNY: Bye, Andrew. 24 00:01:03,733 --> 00:01:06,800 See you, Puddle. 25 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,500 Meg, he's the perfect man. 26 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,533 Yes, yes, I know Bunny. 27 00:01:11,633 --> 00:01:13,500 He's very kind, isn't he? 28 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,633 And generous, and intelligent, and I've 29 00:01:16,733 --> 00:01:19,033 never been so bored in my life. 30 00:01:19,133 --> 00:01:20,800 Are you going to break up with him then? 31 00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:21,867 Not to his face. 32 00:01:21,967 --> 00:01:23,267 No, no, I wouldn't have thought so. 33 00:01:23,367 --> 00:01:25,667 No, I'm going full coward. 34 00:01:25,767 --> 00:01:26,933 I'm ghosting the shit out of him. 35 00:01:27,033 --> 00:01:29,533 Oh, you can't just start ignoring him. 36 00:01:29,633 --> 00:01:32,033 I'm not ignoring him, I'm just ignoring his texts 37 00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:34,133 and his phone calls. That's what ghosting is, mate. 38 00:01:34,233 --> 00:01:35,433 And what's the alternative? 39 00:01:35,533 --> 00:01:37,433 Look into his kind eyes and tell him it's over? 40 00:01:37,533 --> 00:01:38,800 Risky. 41 00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:40,100 I've been ghosting Gary and he still thinks we're together. 42 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,333 Yeah, well, you still live with him, 43 00:01:41,433 --> 00:01:42,700 and you had sex with him this morning. 44 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:44,033 Yeah but we didn't talk after. 45 00:01:44,133 --> 00:01:45,467 I know what's going on here. 46 00:01:45,567 --> 00:01:46,933 Do you want me to be your break-up guru? 47 00:01:47,033 --> 00:01:48,433 No. 48 00:01:48,533 --> 00:01:50,067 You could try, but Gary's knob's 49 00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:51,233 a serious addiction for me. 50 00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:52,633 You probably do need to stop sleeping 51 00:01:52,733 --> 00:01:53,833 in the same bed at him, mate. 52 00:01:53,933 --> 00:01:55,767 Where am I gonna sleep? 53 00:01:55,867 --> 00:01:57,667 Stay here. 54 00:01:57,767 --> 00:01:58,600 You can move in with us. 55 00:01:58,700 --> 00:01:59,533 Not what I meant. 56 00:01:59,633 --> 00:02:00,500 Are you sure? 57 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,567 Oh, yes, please. 58 00:02:02,667 --> 00:02:05,200 All of us single together for the first time, 59 00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:06,733 and I can be your shrink. 60 00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:10,700 Oh please, please, I'm so bored and I really need a project. 61 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,033 Said no shrink ever. 62 00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,167 [music playing] 63 00:02:16,333 --> 00:02:18,533 We might need to do two trips. 64 00:02:18,633 --> 00:02:20,200 Ugh. 65 00:02:20,300 --> 00:02:22,667 LAURA: Right, let's get this baby set up. 66 00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:25,200 Do you know what the great thing about living with me is? 67 00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:26,633 You'll never have to buy Coca-Cola 68 00:02:26,733 --> 00:02:28,167 again, 'cause I make it myself. 69 00:02:28,267 --> 00:02:31,267 Oh wow, that'll save us pennies. 70 00:02:31,367 --> 00:02:32,767 Gary used to get mad about all this stuff, 71 00:02:32,867 --> 00:02:35,500 but the thing about me is I know a bargain when I see one. 72 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:36,800 Right. 73 00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:39,400 Did somebody rob Sue Ryder? 74 00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:42,800 Laura's moved all of her stuff in temporarily while she lives 75 00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:45,600 here, very much temporarily. 76 00:02:45,700 --> 00:02:48,267 We'll have to go back for those kayaks another day. 77 00:02:48,367 --> 00:02:51,733 Anyway, I've got an antidote to your new-found singledom. 78 00:02:51,833 --> 00:02:55,100 Chloe from my acting class is having a house party tonight. 79 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:57,100 So a room full of gay lads. 80 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,100 That is fine by me. 81 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,167 I just want to forget about men for a while. 82 00:03:01,267 --> 00:03:02,933 Dick detox, good call. 83 00:03:03,033 --> 00:03:04,167 Is that why you changed your profile 84 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,533 pic to you sucking on a banana? 85 00:03:05,633 --> 00:03:06,433 [scoffs] 86 00:03:06,533 --> 00:03:07,400 That's just gags. 87 00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:09,367 Just classic Meg. 88 00:03:09,467 --> 00:03:10,967 Laura-Cola and voddy anyone? 89 00:03:11,067 --> 00:03:11,867 Voddy? 90 00:03:11,967 --> 00:03:13,200 It's four o'clock. 91 00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:14,600 Oh, we should start getting ready. 92 00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:15,767 Yeah, it's four o'clock. 93 00:03:15,867 --> 00:03:18,100 I better start on my nails. 94 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,700 [music playing] 95 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:21,600 [gagging] 96 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,633 To ghosting. 97 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:42,933 Whoa, Meg. 98 00:03:43,033 --> 00:03:44,300 Don't shit yourself, but uh, six o'clock. 99 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,433 No, sorry, not six o'clock, 12 o'clock. 100 00:03:46,533 --> 00:03:47,800 No, my 12 o'clock. 101 00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:48,733 Keswick. 102 00:03:48,833 --> 00:03:49,733 Oh no. 103 00:03:49,833 --> 00:03:50,633 On your own again? 104 00:03:50,733 --> 00:03:51,933 You look well, Kes. 105 00:03:52,033 --> 00:03:53,333 Clothes are a bit weird, but-- 106 00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:55,333 Yeah well, you're just a-- 107 00:03:55,433 --> 00:03:56,067 Here it comes. 108 00:03:56,167 --> 00:04:01,667 Sad case lowlife. 109 00:04:01,767 --> 00:04:02,900 Ouch. 110 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,533 Oh, Skinner's here. 111 00:04:04,633 --> 00:04:07,233 Do you want out? 112 00:04:07,333 --> 00:04:08,333 "Sad case lowlife?" 113 00:04:08,433 --> 00:04:10,533 Yeah, I know, sorry, but he puts 114 00:04:10,633 --> 00:04:13,667 me on edge 'cause he's just so mean and fit. 115 00:04:13,767 --> 00:04:14,933 Mmm. 116 00:04:15,033 --> 00:04:16,000 Hot and cold Meg. 117 00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:17,467 Do not go back there. 118 00:04:17,567 --> 00:04:20,600 Yeah, I know, but I really do want to go back there. 119 00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:21,867 Ooh, hubba. 120 00:04:21,967 --> 00:04:24,300 Plenty of other fit men around here, Meg. 121 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,167 Look at him, he's gorgeous. 122 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,767 Oh for fuck's sake, what's Gary doing here? 123 00:04:29,867 --> 00:04:33,100 Oopsy, send-all fail. 124 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:34,267 Hey, babe. 125 00:04:34,367 --> 00:04:35,833 Right, one of us has got to leave, 126 00:04:35,933 --> 00:04:37,100 and it ain't going to be me. 127 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:38,733 Laura, please, can we just skip this bit? 128 00:04:38,833 --> 00:04:39,967 It's getting tedious. 129 00:04:40,067 --> 00:04:40,933 Tedious? 130 00:04:41,033 --> 00:04:42,567 Have you been reading again? 131 00:04:42,667 --> 00:04:43,733 Gary, I'm not bluffing. 132 00:04:43,833 --> 00:04:44,767 It's over, I've moved out. 133 00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:46,567 We had sex this morning. 134 00:04:46,667 --> 00:04:48,200 Oh are you stupid, Gary? 135 00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:49,267 That didn't count. 136 00:04:49,367 --> 00:04:50,033 Why not? 137 00:04:50,133 --> 00:04:52,367 I were facing the wall. 138 00:04:52,467 --> 00:04:55,933 Let me know when you want to get a cab home. 139 00:04:56,033 --> 00:05:02,867 [music playing] 140 00:05:02,967 --> 00:05:05,000 Oh, your tits look bigger, Kes. 141 00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:06,833 I'm on a new pill. 142 00:05:06,933 --> 00:05:07,833 I know the feeling. 143 00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:08,800 What? 144 00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:10,567 Fuck me, these are strong. 145 00:05:10,667 --> 00:05:11,467 What are? 146 00:05:11,567 --> 00:05:12,633 Kes, I need a hug. 147 00:05:12,733 --> 00:05:13,567 OK. 148 00:05:13,667 --> 00:05:15,567 Oh, that's better. 149 00:05:15,667 --> 00:05:17,000 I've missed you, Kes. 150 00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,900 Oh yeah, fuck I've really missed you. 151 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,867 Hadn't realized it 'til now. 152 00:05:21,967 --> 00:05:24,833 Can you stroke my head? 153 00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:27,600 Ah, how good does that feel? 154 00:05:27,700 --> 00:05:29,100 Can I kiss you, Kes? 155 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,133 I think it would feel really good. 156 00:05:41,867 --> 00:05:44,767 Want to go somewhere private? 157 00:05:44,867 --> 00:05:46,267 I strongly advise against this, Meg. 158 00:05:46,367 --> 00:05:48,700 Yeah well, if you need me, I'll be getting my freak on. 159 00:05:52,233 --> 00:05:53,800 She'll regret that in the morning. 160 00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:55,200 Shame, I love Andrew. 161 00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:56,767 That's ghosting for you though, isn't it? 162 00:05:56,867 --> 00:05:59,100 Looks a bit shady when you see someone else at it. 163 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,767 If you're going to break up with someone, 164 00:06:00,867 --> 00:06:02,333 you do need to let them know. 165 00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:04,333 You have to be very clear, or how else 166 00:06:04,433 --> 00:06:05,633 will they know that it's over. 167 00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:07,333 Babe, I meant to say my mom wants us to go over 168 00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:08,733 for lunch tomorrow about one. 169 00:06:08,833 --> 00:06:10,467 We're not together you fucktard. 170 00:06:13,933 --> 00:06:16,400 Uh, that's my fucking boyfriend, Fish. 171 00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:17,900 I'm sorry, she just pounced. 172 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:18,900 She did, I saw it. 173 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:19,833 Who are you? 174 00:06:19,933 --> 00:06:20,900 I'm her boyfriend. 175 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,067 Ex-boyfriend. 176 00:06:22,167 --> 00:06:23,033 Thought you were over girls, Aaron. 177 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,000 She just pounced on me. 178 00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:25,067 You're a fucking shit. 179 00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:26,267 Calm down, don't worry about it. 180 00:06:26,367 --> 00:06:27,767 Don't tell me to calm down when I 181 00:06:27,867 --> 00:06:28,967 see you snogging someone else. - I didn't know, honestly. 182 00:06:29,067 --> 00:06:29,900 You need to back up. 183 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,000 Darling, we need to go. 184 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,467 Laura's started a bit of a squabble. 185 00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:35,833 Kes, call me, yeah? 186 00:06:35,933 --> 00:06:37,433 I deleted your number? 187 00:06:37,533 --> 00:06:38,233 Why? 188 00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:39,900 Because you gave me an STD. 189 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,267 Oh yeah. 190 00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:42,767 MAN: What's everyone staring at? Fuck off. 191 00:06:42,867 --> 00:06:43,967 I'm coming for you next, Fish. 192 00:06:44,067 --> 00:06:45,100 Leg it! 193 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,567 MAN: Where the fuck are you going? 194 00:06:47,667 --> 00:06:49,967 See you at home, babe. 195 00:06:50,067 --> 00:06:55,467 [phone buzzing] 196 00:06:55,567 --> 00:06:56,467 Oh, shit. 197 00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:05,300 ANDREW: (ON PHONE) Hey Puddle, it's me. 198 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:06,867 Just wondering how things are going. 199 00:07:06,967 --> 00:07:07,800 [laughing] 200 00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:12,567 So Andrew's immune to ghosting. 201 00:07:12,667 --> 00:07:14,433 Then you're a filthy cheat. 202 00:07:14,533 --> 00:07:19,033 Hot and Cold keeps sending me pictures of his lovely penis. 203 00:07:19,133 --> 00:07:20,167 [phone ringing] 204 00:07:21,267 --> 00:07:22,967 Oh! 205 00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:24,167 You have to tell him the truth. 206 00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:25,400 No, not the truth. 207 00:07:28,167 --> 00:07:29,767 Hi Andrew. 208 00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:32,433 Yeah, crazy night. 209 00:07:32,533 --> 00:07:36,167 I lost my phone. 210 00:07:36,267 --> 00:07:42,600 And well yeah, I found it in my cagoule. 211 00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:45,567 I know, yeah. 212 00:07:45,667 --> 00:07:47,900 Tonight? 213 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,300 That would be perfect. 214 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:51,767 OK, I'll text you a place. 215 00:07:54,900 --> 00:07:56,800 OK, don't judge me. 216 00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:58,933 We're meeting up later for a drink, 217 00:07:59,033 --> 00:08:02,367 and I'm going to tell him to his face that it's definitely over. 218 00:08:02,467 --> 00:08:04,000 And confess to the cheating. 219 00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:05,700 Let's just see how it goes. 220 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,100 I've never dumped anyone before. 221 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,200 Where do you do it? 222 00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:09,900 Well, meet him at my dumping pub. 223 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:10,967 You have a dumping pub? 224 00:08:11,067 --> 00:08:11,900 Mmm. 225 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,167 The Cock Tavern. 226 00:08:13,267 --> 00:08:15,100 It's a one-drink-and-vacate kind of place, 227 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,000 usually empty, save for some terrifying, 228 00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:18,000 toothless crackheads. 229 00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:19,500 That does sound ideal. 230 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,233 Poor Andrew. 231 00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:22,733 He deserves better. 232 00:08:22,833 --> 00:08:25,767 Stop sticking up for Andrew, I'm doing the right thing. 233 00:08:25,867 --> 00:08:26,867 Just so you can have guilt-free 234 00:08:26,967 --> 00:08:28,200 sex with Hot and Cold again. 235 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,800 I can read you like a blog, Meg. 236 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:33,467 OM Jesus! 237 00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:35,400 Oh. 238 00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:36,833 Laura? 239 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:37,933 Oh, sorry about that. 240 00:08:38,033 --> 00:08:41,333 A fair bit of regrowth. 241 00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:42,833 I did not agree to this. 242 00:08:42,933 --> 00:08:45,367 She has to go, and you have to be the one to tell her. 243 00:08:45,467 --> 00:08:47,333 Fine, although I think you're overreacting. 244 00:08:47,433 --> 00:08:48,933 Their just pubes, Meg, we've all got them. 245 00:08:49,033 --> 00:08:50,267 Well, actually, she doesn't anymore. 246 00:08:50,367 --> 00:08:51,833 They're all in this bowl. 247 00:08:51,933 --> 00:08:59,067 [music playing] 248 00:08:59,167 --> 00:09:04,533 [text sound] 249 00:09:04,633 --> 00:09:06,567 Oh, a fucking restaurant. 250 00:09:06,667 --> 00:09:07,933 ANDREW: I hope you don't mind, I took 251 00:09:08,033 --> 00:09:09,500 the liberty of booking a table. 252 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,200 I've always wanted to try this place, 253 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,633 I've just been waiting for the right person to try it with. 254 00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:15,800 Yeah, we need to talk. 255 00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:17,500 Mr. Campbell, your table is ready. 256 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,400 Please? 257 00:09:22,167 --> 00:09:23,100 Why not. 258 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:24,200 Follow me. 259 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:29,867 There's only one decision to make with the menu, 10 260 00:09:29,967 --> 00:09:30,833 or 15 courses? 261 00:09:30,933 --> 00:09:31,900 Uh, 15. 262 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:32,800 15? 263 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,567 Wonder what he's doing now. 264 00:09:41,667 --> 00:09:42,800 Laura, can we talk? 265 00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:46,033 Probably staying in and ordering a currizza for one. 266 00:09:46,133 --> 00:09:48,033 What if he gets horny and I'm not there? 267 00:09:48,133 --> 00:09:49,667 Well, he'll just toss himself off, darling. 268 00:09:49,767 --> 00:09:52,000 What if he does that thing where he accidentally kills 269 00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:54,100 himself while he's wanking? 270 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,067 Listen, Laura, Meg and I have been talking, 271 00:09:56,167 --> 00:09:57,767 and we would like you to-- 272 00:09:57,867 --> 00:09:59,133 I feel a bit funny. 273 00:09:59,233 --> 00:10:01,933 We need you to, Laura-- and I'm sorry about this-- 274 00:10:02,033 --> 00:10:03,667 Something happening to my eyes. 275 00:10:03,767 --> 00:10:07,667 Oh, shit, Bunny, is this crying? 276 00:10:07,767 --> 00:10:09,433 Am I crying? 277 00:10:09,533 --> 00:10:10,900 Um. 278 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:11,800 [crying] 279 00:10:14,433 --> 00:10:16,133 Yes. 280 00:10:16,233 --> 00:10:18,667 My eyes are all wet. 281 00:10:18,767 --> 00:10:20,067 What's happening? 282 00:10:20,167 --> 00:10:22,433 Is this normal? 283 00:10:22,533 --> 00:10:23,367 [sobbing] 284 00:10:27,433 --> 00:10:31,100 Oh, um, I bought you a present. 285 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:40,100 Oh This is a self-help book. 286 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:43,133 Yeah, I thought you'd like it. 287 00:10:43,233 --> 00:10:47,067 OK, so Andrew, there was something 288 00:10:47,167 --> 00:10:50,433 that I needed to tell you. 289 00:10:50,533 --> 00:10:53,767 Pollen-dusted grass-fed lamb with nettle foam. 290 00:10:53,867 --> 00:10:55,767 Well, that looks sensational. 291 00:10:55,867 --> 00:10:57,333 Cheers. 292 00:10:57,433 --> 00:11:02,767 So we've been on a few dates now, Andrew. 293 00:11:02,867 --> 00:11:05,800 And, well, the thing is-- 294 00:11:05,900 --> 00:11:07,233 [mumbling] 295 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:12,100 Oh sh-- shoes, that is sublime. 296 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,133 Oh my God, what the-- 297 00:11:14,233 --> 00:11:16,067 what is happening, there's so many tastes. 298 00:11:16,167 --> 00:11:17,367 Is that good, Puddle? 299 00:11:17,467 --> 00:11:18,433 Good? 300 00:11:18,533 --> 00:11:19,700 I don't think I've ever been this happy. 301 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,233 You glad we came? 302 00:11:21,333 --> 00:11:23,033 I'm in heaven, I'm so fucking happy. 303 00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:24,500 That is amazing. 304 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,400 That is exquis, absolutely exquis. 305 00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:30,033 It's really special for me, too. 306 00:11:30,133 --> 00:11:31,700 Mmm, oh God. 307 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,167 I think I'm in love. 308 00:11:33,267 --> 00:11:35,233 With the food or with me? 309 00:11:35,333 --> 00:11:36,867 What? 310 00:11:36,967 --> 00:11:39,600 Fuck it, Meg. 311 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:40,533 I'm in love with you. 312 00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:46,700 C-- cool. 313 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,800 I'm inside you. 314 00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:49,733 [moaning] 315 00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:51,633 Can we use the pillow? 316 00:11:51,733 --> 00:11:52,567 Uh-uh. 317 00:11:52,667 --> 00:11:54,467 [moaning] 318 00:11:54,567 --> 00:11:57,167 I want you to see me. 319 00:11:57,267 --> 00:11:59,067 I want to see you. 320 00:11:59,167 --> 00:12:01,233 Sorry, can we-- can we stop? 321 00:12:01,333 --> 00:12:04,433 Just-- just really full. 322 00:12:04,533 --> 00:12:05,833 OK, Puddle. 323 00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:06,733 Yeah. 324 00:12:06,833 --> 00:12:08,433 Um. 325 00:12:08,533 --> 00:12:09,967 Um, OK. 326 00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:13,000 That's-- let's just spoon. 327 00:12:15,733 --> 00:12:16,533 I love you, Meg. 328 00:12:20,567 --> 00:12:22,833 I love you. 329 00:12:22,933 --> 00:12:24,133 Do you love me? 330 00:12:26,767 --> 00:12:30,067 [pretending to snore] 331 00:12:35,900 --> 00:12:36,767 [music playing] 332 00:12:42,733 --> 00:12:44,067 Morning. 333 00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:45,667 How did the dumping go, Meg? 334 00:12:45,767 --> 00:12:46,767 Didn't dump him. 335 00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:47,767 Had sex with him. 336 00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:49,400 Oh, for God's sake. 337 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:50,967 I thought you hated having sex with Andrew. 338 00:12:51,067 --> 00:12:55,100 Not hate, just, eh, makes me cringe. 339 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,600 It was complicated. 340 00:12:56,700 --> 00:13:00,133 I was going to dump him, but we had a wonderful night. 341 00:13:00,233 --> 00:13:05,833 That was dinner, 15 courses, good chat, bought me a book, 342 00:13:05,933 --> 00:13:06,733 told me he loved me. 343 00:13:06,833 --> 00:13:07,667 Oh boy. 344 00:13:07,767 --> 00:13:08,800 Unlucky. 345 00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:09,800 Why? 346 00:13:09,900 --> 00:13:11,200 'Cause you don't love him. 347 00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:13,200 Yeah, but give it time. 348 00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:15,167 I think it's kind of flattering. 349 00:13:15,267 --> 00:13:17,300 More than can be said for Hot and Cold, 350 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,600 who communicates solely by the medium of dick pics. 351 00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:21,700 So you're going to try and fall in love with Andrew 352 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,533 to avoid dumping him? 353 00:13:23,633 --> 00:13:24,667 I really like the guy. 354 00:13:24,767 --> 00:13:26,933 Are you sure you don't just really like dinner? 355 00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:28,467 I wouldn't go in the bog for a bit. 356 00:13:28,567 --> 00:13:31,933 Budge up, babe. 357 00:13:32,033 --> 00:13:34,467 Oh, Gaz kind of stopped over here last night. 358 00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:35,700 Certainly did. 359 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,000 Got a booty call from little Lozza-chops didn't I? 360 00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:41,167 Cheers for letting us have your bed, Meg. 361 00:13:41,267 --> 00:13:43,600 We'll change your sheets. 362 00:13:43,700 --> 00:13:44,600 Come on. 363 00:13:48,667 --> 00:13:51,133 Why is she still here? 364 00:13:51,233 --> 00:13:52,400 I couldn't do it. 365 00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:54,933 She started crying, it was really boring, 366 00:13:55,033 --> 00:13:56,200 and then I fell asleep. 367 00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:58,133 Well, what happened to sticking to the plan? 368 00:13:58,233 --> 00:13:59,900 I could ask you the same question. 369 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,833 Well good break-up guruing, Bunny. 370 00:14:01,933 --> 00:14:03,633 It's OK, I'll sort it out, I promise. 371 00:14:03,733 --> 00:14:05,033 [text message buzzing] 372 00:14:05,133 --> 00:14:08,500 Well, that's his penis again. 373 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:13,400 Right, I have to go and put a stop to all this. 374 00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:14,967 I wouldn't be in too much of a hurry. 375 00:14:15,067 --> 00:14:16,033 Cor. 376 00:14:18,967 --> 00:14:20,933 I though that might have tempted you, Kes. 377 00:14:21,033 --> 00:14:22,900 Look, I just came round to say I've got--- 378 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:23,800 [sighs] 379 00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:30,167 Can you put some clothes on, we need to talk. 380 00:14:30,267 --> 00:14:32,967 We'll talk after. 381 00:14:33,067 --> 00:14:35,000 Look, the other night was a mistake, 382 00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:36,400 I've actually still got a boyfriend. 383 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,200 What's a young, hot, independent woman 384 00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:40,667 like you doing tied down in a stifling relationship? 385 00:14:40,767 --> 00:14:42,833 You should be sowing your wild oats, having fun. 386 00:14:42,933 --> 00:14:44,500 I am having fun. 387 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,633 He took out for dinner last night, it was 15 courses. 388 00:14:46,733 --> 00:14:49,167 Pfft, I just think it's a shame blokes 389 00:14:49,267 --> 00:14:50,967 feel the need to control women by forcing 390 00:14:51,067 --> 00:14:52,467 relationships on them. 391 00:14:52,567 --> 00:14:54,133 Everyone should be free to sleep with whoever they want, 392 00:14:54,233 --> 00:14:55,267 whenever they want. 393 00:14:55,367 --> 00:14:57,133 Women have needs, too. 394 00:14:57,233 --> 00:15:01,233 If he don't understand that, then he's just a sexist. 395 00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:04,467 And he's an idiot, 'cause he's going to lose you. 396 00:15:04,567 --> 00:15:07,800 I suppose I was feeling a bit stifled. 397 00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:09,233 Come here, Kes. 398 00:15:09,333 --> 00:15:11,500 It doesn't mean you have to break up with this guy. 399 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:12,600 Don't I? 400 00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:13,900 Of course not. 401 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,100 You just need to explain to him your new rules. 402 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,167 See, we've all been brainwashed into thinking 403 00:15:19,267 --> 00:15:21,600 that it's all or nothing. 404 00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:23,500 In fact, there's a third way. 405 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:24,567 A third way? 406 00:15:24,667 --> 00:15:26,900 Where you're not tied down by labels, 407 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,567 you can sleep with whoever you want. 408 00:15:28,667 --> 00:15:29,933 Doesn't that sound good? 409 00:15:30,033 --> 00:15:32,100 I suppose so. 410 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,533 Why don't you lie down for a bit, Kes. 411 00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:34,800 Just have a little cuddle. 412 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:38,867 OK, Just for a bit. 413 00:15:38,967 --> 00:15:40,433 [music playing] 414 00:15:54,367 --> 00:15:55,933 Why are we meeting in the dumping pub? 415 00:15:56,033 --> 00:15:58,333 Laura's dumping Gary, once and for all, and I 416 00:15:58,433 --> 00:16:00,067 am here as her break-up mentor. 417 00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:01,233 And when she's finished, we're going 418 00:16:01,333 --> 00:16:02,800 to dump her as a flatmate. 419 00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:03,933 Solid plan. 420 00:16:04,033 --> 00:16:05,500 Except you'll have to go it alone, 421 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:07,233 because I'm meeting Andrew to tell him about the third way. 422 00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:08,467 The third way? way? 423 00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:09,700 Yeah, don't have to break up with him. 424 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:11,633 We've all been brainwashed. 425 00:16:11,733 --> 00:16:14,833 Yeah, it's my rules, and I won't be tied down by labels. 426 00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:16,967 I can sleep with whoever I want. 427 00:16:17,067 --> 00:16:18,233 Did Hot and Cold tell you this? 428 00:16:18,333 --> 00:16:19,400 Yeah. 429 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:20,667 Meg, just put poor Andrew out of his misery. 430 00:16:20,767 --> 00:16:21,900 Don't need to. 431 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,400 Just gonna tell him about the third way. 432 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:26,033 I absolutely cannot end up having dinner with him again. 433 00:16:26,133 --> 00:16:27,267 Just tell him to meet you here. 434 00:16:27,367 --> 00:16:28,633 It's a shithole, there's no way he'll tell 435 00:16:28,733 --> 00:16:29,933 you he loves you again in here. 436 00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:31,533 Good point. 437 00:16:31,633 --> 00:16:34,500 But he's quite scared of this place 438 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,967 so I'm going to have to be very persuasive. 439 00:16:38,067 --> 00:16:39,333 Tit pic. 440 00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:40,267 Tit pic. 441 00:16:43,267 --> 00:16:47,567 So, I've been thinking, and relationships, eh? 442 00:16:47,667 --> 00:16:49,433 Why does it have to be all or nothing? 443 00:16:49,533 --> 00:16:52,067 We've all been brainwashed, Andrew. 444 00:16:52,167 --> 00:16:56,133 There's a third way, after all. 445 00:16:56,233 --> 00:16:58,800 I'm not sure I follow. 446 00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:03,233 Well, you know, I'm a young, hot, independent woman. 447 00:17:03,333 --> 00:17:07,767 You know, I've got needs, you've got needs. 448 00:17:07,867 --> 00:17:09,033 You're just being a bit sexist. 449 00:17:11,967 --> 00:17:12,767 What? 450 00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:17,800 But I thought we were getting back together. 451 00:17:17,900 --> 00:17:20,667 Why do you keep sleeping with me if you're not in love with me 452 00:17:20,767 --> 00:17:23,067 anymore? 453 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,633 Boredom. 454 00:17:25,733 --> 00:17:29,733 Look, it's my rules, and I won't be tied down by labels. 455 00:17:29,833 --> 00:17:31,100 Are you dumping me? 456 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,800 Because I love you, Meg. 457 00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:35,700 No, it's just-- 458 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,333 look, it's the third way, OK? 459 00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:47,800 It's about having the freedom to sleep with whoever I want. 460 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,033 So you're cheating on me? 461 00:17:49,133 --> 00:17:53,100 No, no, it's-- 462 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,533 it's the third way. 463 00:17:55,633 --> 00:17:58,867 Right, because it sounds like you've cheated on me, 464 00:17:58,967 --> 00:18:00,700 and you want to continue cheating on me, 465 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:02,000 with my permission. 466 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,567 Would that be something you were into? 467 00:18:06,667 --> 00:18:08,333 Obviously not, definit-- 468 00:18:08,433 --> 00:18:09,867 no! 469 00:18:09,967 --> 00:18:11,067 So you've brought me to this shithole 470 00:18:11,167 --> 00:18:12,600 because you're dumping me. 471 00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:15,467 No, look, the reason we're in the dumping pub is not bec-- 472 00:18:15,567 --> 00:18:16,900 You call this place the dumping pub? 473 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:17,800 Hmm? 474 00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:19,467 You have a dumping pub? 475 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:22,600 Pff. 476 00:18:27,133 --> 00:18:28,800 How are you feeling, Laura? 477 00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:33,300 Yeah fine, relieved. 478 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:36,267 I mean, I do feel a bit guilty. 479 00:18:36,367 --> 00:18:37,600 [crying] 480 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,900 Sound advice, Bun, you're a top mate. 481 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,500 And cheers for telling me to move in. 482 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:43,367 Smart move, that. 483 00:18:43,467 --> 00:18:45,600 Yeah, um, Laura, about that. 484 00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:47,100 Meg wanted me to tell you that she doesn't 485 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:48,233 want you to move in with us. 486 00:18:48,333 --> 00:18:50,000 So where am I gonna live? 487 00:18:50,100 --> 00:18:51,367 Yeah that's a good point. 488 00:18:51,467 --> 00:18:53,533 Well you could have told me before I dumped Gary. 489 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:54,433 [crying] 490 00:18:56,733 --> 00:18:59,600 Yeah that would have been a better way around. 491 00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:01,700 I'll fix this. 492 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:05,200 You've tried to meet me here at the dumping pub before. 493 00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:07,200 You don't really like me at all, do you, you just like being 494 00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:08,733 taken out for dinner. 495 00:19:08,833 --> 00:19:11,767 You didn't really leave your phone in the cagoule, did you? 496 00:19:11,867 --> 00:19:13,933 You were sleeping with someone else, weren't you? 497 00:19:14,033 --> 00:19:15,667 And now you're dumping me. 498 00:19:15,767 --> 00:19:16,800 No! 499 00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:19,600 Look, it's the third fucking way, OK? 500 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,867 This is not a dumping, I cannot stress that enough. 501 00:19:22,967 --> 00:19:25,633 We are here because Laura's dumping Gary, 502 00:19:25,733 --> 00:19:29,500 and then Bunny and I are dumping Laura as a flatmate. 503 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,800 Can you hear yourself? 504 00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:32,700 Yes. 505 00:19:42,133 --> 00:19:43,433 I'm confused. 506 00:19:43,533 --> 00:19:46,000 So I'm dumped but you still want to live with me. 507 00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:47,767 Yeah the arrangement is, we live together, 508 00:19:47,867 --> 00:19:49,233 but we sleep with whoever we like. 509 00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:50,700 It's called the third way. 510 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,133 Well that sounds fine for you, you're a hot bird. 511 00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:55,000 What about me, I can't pull for shit, can I? 512 00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:56,167 Eh, fair point. 513 00:19:56,267 --> 00:19:57,700 I'll have to stay with you and Meg. 514 00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:59,200 Now let's not be too hasty, Gary. 515 00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:01,000 When was the last time that you tried to pull? 516 00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:02,067 Can't remember. 517 00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:03,600 OK, so you're a little rusty. 518 00:20:03,700 --> 00:20:05,067 That's fine, we can help you. 519 00:20:05,167 --> 00:20:06,067 This is messed up. 520 00:20:06,167 --> 00:20:07,367 You've got to loosen up, Gary. 521 00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:08,567 This is the modern dating scene. 522 00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:10,900 People do the third way all the time. 523 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,367 Meg is doing it with Andrew right now. 524 00:20:12,467 --> 00:20:13,767 ANDREW: Well, I'm going to leave, then. 525 00:20:13,867 --> 00:20:15,033 It's the third way. ANDREW: You're going to stop me. 526 00:20:15,133 --> 00:20:16,200 MEG: No, I'm not going to stop you. 527 00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:17,333 ANDREW: OK, well that's annoying, but-- 528 00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:18,567 No one's going to want me, though. 529 00:20:18,667 --> 00:20:19,467 True. 530 00:20:19,567 --> 00:20:21,067 Gary, you're a catch. 531 00:20:21,167 --> 00:20:23,033 You've got so much going for you. 532 00:20:23,133 --> 00:20:24,200 You're a businessman. 533 00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:26,233 Kind of, carpet fitter. 534 00:20:26,333 --> 00:20:28,400 And you're kind, and good looking. 535 00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:29,333 Am I? 536 00:20:29,433 --> 00:20:30,300 Cheers. 537 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,133 Gorgeous blue eyes, great height, 538 00:20:32,233 --> 00:20:35,433 so muscular, lovely smile, always thought so. 539 00:20:35,533 --> 00:20:36,300 All right, Bunny. 540 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,200 You're not so bad yourself. 541 00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:41,100 Always liked your face, and tits. 542 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,667 And you don't strike me as a man who has anything 543 00:20:43,767 --> 00:20:44,800 to worry about downstairs. 544 00:20:44,900 --> 00:20:46,567 Wilbur is about average. 545 00:20:46,667 --> 00:20:50,167 And Laura tells me that you're a very good kisser. 546 00:20:50,267 --> 00:20:51,900 I feel like I'm being hit on. 547 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,833 Yeah, it does seem a bit like that. 548 00:20:53,933 --> 00:20:55,033 And how does that make you feel? 549 00:20:55,133 --> 00:20:58,467 Good, nice, confident. 550 00:20:58,567 --> 00:20:59,800 See? 551 00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:01,467 This could be the perfect arrangement for to both of you. 552 00:21:01,567 --> 00:21:04,700 Imagine, you get to kiss whoever you like. 553 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:13,867 No labels, no boundaries, no rules, you can just go for it. 554 00:21:13,967 --> 00:21:16,333 Mm! 555 00:21:16,433 --> 00:21:17,667 What the fuck? 556 00:21:17,767 --> 00:21:19,267 Oh, you are a good kisser. 557 00:21:19,367 --> 00:21:20,733 I want to do a third way. 558 00:21:20,833 --> 00:21:22,500 What is wrong with you people? 559 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,633 Sozzers, Laura, it was too far, my bad. 560 00:21:24,733 --> 00:21:27,000 But by way of demonstration, that went well, I thought. 561 00:21:27,100 --> 00:21:28,533 - We're not doing the third way. - Oh, what? 562 00:21:28,633 --> 00:21:29,700 We're not doing it. 563 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,000 Ain't gonna work. 564 00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:32,733 Are you just jealous, or do you still love me? 565 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:33,767 Gary, it's the same thing. 566 00:21:36,833 --> 00:21:38,900 I did that. 567 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,433 Oh, and Meg-- 568 00:21:41,533 --> 00:21:44,900 you don't realize it now, but me and you have something, 569 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,900 we've got something special, and unique. 570 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,467 And I was going to support you. 571 00:21:49,567 --> 00:21:53,367 No matter what, I was going to watch you grow, and love you. 572 00:21:53,467 --> 00:21:55,933 I was going to give you my love. 573 00:21:56,033 --> 00:21:57,733 And one day, you'll want someone's love, 574 00:21:57,833 --> 00:21:59,200 and you'll understand. 575 00:21:59,300 --> 00:22:01,600 And maybe it will be mine, maybe not, 576 00:22:01,700 --> 00:22:08,867 but I hope you remember it was offered sincerely, 577 00:22:08,967 --> 00:22:13,267 and generously, and unconditionally. 578 00:22:16,133 --> 00:22:19,533 Bye, Meg. 579 00:22:19,633 --> 00:22:20,533 [sighs] 580 00:22:24,367 --> 00:22:25,767 - Bit boring, though. - Yeah. 581 00:22:25,867 --> 00:22:26,733 So boring. 582 00:22:26,833 --> 00:22:27,833 Right, yeah. 583 00:22:27,933 --> 00:22:29,733 Right, should we head off, then. 584 00:22:29,833 --> 00:22:31,067 Yeah, let's go. 585 00:22:31,167 --> 00:22:33,200 The Cola's disgusting in here. 586 00:22:33,300 --> 00:22:35,767 Well, my work here is done. 587 00:22:35,867 --> 00:22:36,933 You've done nothing. 588 00:22:37,033 --> 00:22:38,300 They're in exactly the same situation 589 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:39,700 as they were before, except you've 590 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,533 now kissed her boyfriend. 591 00:22:41,633 --> 00:22:43,900 Still, at least we have our flat to ourselves again. 592 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,433 Yeah, you do. 593 00:22:45,533 --> 00:22:48,133 I'm going on a guilt-free sex marathon with Hot and Cold. 594 00:22:48,233 --> 00:22:49,200 Don't wait up. 595 00:22:54,533 --> 00:22:56,067 Good news. 596 00:22:56,167 --> 00:22:57,333 Je suis single. 597 00:22:57,433 --> 00:22:59,167 Uh yeah, now's not really a very good time. 598 00:22:59,267 --> 00:23:00,767 WOMAN: Who is it? 599 00:23:00,867 --> 00:23:02,633 Uh, it's just a Jehovah's Witness. 600 00:23:02,733 --> 00:23:04,267 WOMAN: Oh, fuck off! 601 00:23:04,367 --> 00:23:07,467 Uh, but you said about the third way. 602 00:23:07,567 --> 00:23:09,433 OK, bye. 603 00:23:09,533 --> 00:23:12,433 [music playing] 604 00:23:12,533 --> 00:23:14,300 [sighing] 40750

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