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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,116 --> 00:00:01,483 Dwight: 'Kay guys, this ought 2 00:00:01,117 --> 00:00:01,483 to get you up to speed. 3 00:00:01,550 --> 00:00:02,917 [whistle] 4 00:00:02,984 --> 00:00:07,116 [loud rumble] 5 00:00:07,183 --> 00:00:08,784 Gretta: Look what 6 00:00:07,184 --> 00:00:08,784 Sir Dwight has done. 7 00:00:08,850 --> 00:00:09,684 Hm? 8 00:00:09,750 --> 00:00:10,650 - Uh. 9 00:00:10,717 --> 00:00:12,050 Gretta: He has conjured 10 00:00:10,718 --> 00:00:12,050 the invisible ghost 11 00:00:12,116 --> 00:00:13,717 of a berserker. 12 00:00:13,784 --> 00:00:16,583 Baldric: Sound this whistle 13 00:00:13,785 --> 00:00:16,583 to call to your side 14 00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:19,583 the ghost who waits 15 00:00:16,651 --> 00:00:19,583 upon the steps. 16 00:00:19,650 --> 00:00:20,450 Dwight: What steps? 17 00:00:20,517 --> 00:00:22,583 - Outside the Hall 18 00:00:20,518 --> 00:00:22,583 of the Fallen. 19 00:00:22,650 --> 00:00:23,917 Dwight: You can't get 20 00:00:22,651 --> 00:00:23,917 into the Hall of the Fallen 21 00:00:23,984 --> 00:00:25,216 with all 22 00:00:23,985 --> 00:00:25,216 of the other berserkers? 23 00:00:25,283 --> 00:00:26,550 - I did something. 24 00:00:26,617 --> 00:00:28,183 - It doesn't matter. 25 00:00:28,250 --> 00:00:30,016 It was a long time ago. 26 00:00:30,083 --> 00:00:34,750 Dwight: From now on, 27 00:00:30,084 --> 00:00:34,750 you're with us, okay? 28 00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:35,917 ♪ 29 00:00:35,984 --> 00:00:39,150 - Is your nose too big? 30 00:00:39,216 --> 00:00:42,050 Your teeth too small? 31 00:00:42,116 --> 00:00:44,483 Are your ears like 32 00:00:42,117 --> 00:00:44,483 a couple of dinner gongs 33 00:00:44,550 --> 00:00:47,617 stuck to the sides of your head? 34 00:00:47,684 --> 00:00:49,083 Don't despair. 35 00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:50,884 There's nothing 36 00:00:49,151 --> 00:00:50,884 you hate about yourself 37 00:00:50,950 --> 00:00:52,517 that can't be remedied 38 00:00:52,583 --> 00:00:57,116 with a Hexela exclusive 39 00:00:52,584 --> 00:00:57,116 lotion and potion. 40 00:00:57,183 --> 00:00:58,483 [squeak] 41 00:00:58,550 --> 00:00:59,183 [music whirs down] 42 00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:00,116 Dwight: Cut! 43 00:01:00,183 --> 00:01:01,483 Boom in the shot! 44 00:01:01,550 --> 00:01:02,183 Ah. 45 00:01:02,250 --> 00:01:04,250 Baldric, um, in general 46 00:01:04,316 --> 00:01:05,183 the boom should never be 47 00:01:05,250 --> 00:01:07,250 between the camera 48 00:01:05,251 --> 00:01:07,250 and the actor, right? 49 00:01:07,316 --> 00:01:08,350 - Ah. 50 00:01:08,417 --> 00:01:10,517 Let me make a note of that. 51 00:01:10,583 --> 00:01:11,417 Dwight: Great. 52 00:01:11,483 --> 00:01:12,216 Baldric: Camera, 53 00:01:12,283 --> 00:01:13,050 actor between, 54 00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,483 never. 55 00:01:14,550 --> 00:01:15,150 Boom. 56 00:01:15,216 --> 00:01:16,617 - Are we almost through? 57 00:01:16,684 --> 00:01:17,750 Nana: Get comfortable, honey. 58 00:01:17,817 --> 00:01:20,750 There are no short days 59 00:01:17,818 --> 00:01:20,750 in production. 60 00:01:20,817 --> 00:01:21,583 Dwight: True facts. 61 00:01:21,650 --> 00:01:22,984 Nana: Dwight 62 00:01:21,651 --> 00:01:22,984 could tell you stories. 63 00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:25,583 He's done three semesters 64 00:01:23,051 --> 00:01:25,583 of film studies. 65 00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:26,550 - Oh. 66 00:01:26,617 --> 00:01:28,250 Dwight: I was Jason 67 00:01:26,618 --> 00:01:28,250 in Mick's horror short 68 00:01:28,316 --> 00:01:29,450 last fall. 69 00:01:29,517 --> 00:01:30,984 Nana: Saturday the 14th. 70 00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:32,984 - Yeah, and I was also 71 00:01:31,051 --> 00:01:32,984 Darcy the lifeguard 72 00:01:33,050 --> 00:01:35,517 in Juliet's romance this spring. 73 00:01:35,583 --> 00:01:37,050 Nana: Poolside and Prejudice. 74 00:01:37,116 --> 00:01:37,483 - [short laugh] 75 00:01:37,550 --> 00:01:38,684 - Oh, Dwight. 76 00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:41,216 What kind of energy 77 00:01:38,751 --> 00:01:41,216 are you looking for from me? 78 00:01:41,283 --> 00:01:43,150 - Just super amazed 79 00:01:41,284 --> 00:01:43,150 and thrilled. 80 00:01:43,216 --> 00:01:44,150 Really sell it. 81 00:01:44,216 --> 00:01:45,250 Nana: Copy that. 82 00:01:45,316 --> 00:01:46,583 Dwight: Uh, Hexela, 83 00:01:45,317 --> 00:01:46,583 you're doing great, 84 00:01:46,650 --> 00:01:50,617 just remember that the key 85 00:01:46,651 --> 00:01:50,617 to being successful on YouTube 86 00:01:50,684 --> 00:01:52,150 is relatability. 87 00:01:52,216 --> 00:01:54,050 - And there's nothing 88 00:01:52,217 --> 00:01:54,050 more relatable 89 00:01:54,116 --> 00:01:57,450 than not wanting to be hideous. 90 00:01:57,517 --> 00:01:58,950 Loud and clear. 91 00:01:59,016 --> 00:02:00,283 Dwight: All right, everyone set? 92 00:02:00,350 --> 00:02:00,950 Hexela: Mmhm. 93 00:02:01,016 --> 00:02:02,050 Dwight: First positions. 94 00:02:02,116 --> 00:02:02,483 [soft thunk] 95 00:02:02,550 --> 00:02:03,050 Baldric: Ready! 96 00:02:03,116 --> 00:02:03,684 Dwight: Baldric, you-- 97 00:02:03,750 --> 00:02:04,817 Baldric: Thousand pardons. 98 00:02:04,884 --> 00:02:05,550 [soft thunk] 99 00:02:05,617 --> 00:02:06,283 Baldric: Oh! 100 00:02:06,350 --> 00:02:07,216 Pray, forgive me. 101 00:02:07,283 --> 00:02:08,784 Shan't happen again. 102 00:02:08,850 --> 00:02:09,250 - 'Kay. 103 00:02:09,316 --> 00:02:09,850 [soft thunk] 104 00:02:09,917 --> 00:02:11,250 [clink] 105 00:02:11,316 --> 00:02:12,216 Baldric: [clears throat] 106 00:02:12,283 --> 00:02:14,917 Dwight: Uh, just pick up 107 00:02:12,284 --> 00:02:14,917 where you left off. 108 00:02:14,984 --> 00:02:16,383 And... 109 00:02:16,450 --> 00:02:18,784 action. 110 00:02:18,850 --> 00:02:19,850 - We all know 111 00:02:19,917 --> 00:02:23,016 you can't make a silk purse 112 00:02:19,918 --> 00:02:23,016 out of a sow's ear. 113 00:02:23,083 --> 00:02:25,050 [elegant laugh and snort] 114 00:02:25,116 --> 00:02:26,617 Well, you can. 115 00:02:26,684 --> 00:02:30,717 But wouldn't you rather make 116 00:02:26,685 --> 00:02:30,717 a remedy for sagging jowls? 117 00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:31,250 [gasp] 118 00:02:31,316 --> 00:02:33,517 Oh, and here it is. 119 00:02:33,583 --> 00:02:37,450 Hexela's sow's ear 120 00:02:33,584 --> 00:02:37,450 jowl poultice. 121 00:02:37,517 --> 00:02:38,283 [elegant laugh] 122 00:02:38,350 --> 00:02:39,016 [door opens] 123 00:02:39,083 --> 00:02:39,884 Hexela: [gasp] 124 00:02:39,950 --> 00:02:41,050 Dwight: And cut! 125 00:02:41,116 --> 00:02:42,850 Baldric: [sigh] 126 00:02:42,917 --> 00:02:44,150 Nana: Hey there, Kirk. 127 00:02:44,216 --> 00:02:46,183 Is that a ham? 128 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,183 Kirk: A shank of a Hormel. 129 00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:50,717 Have all you like, lady fair. 130 00:02:50,784 --> 00:02:51,684 Nana: Oh! 131 00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:54,817 Wow, uh, juicy. 132 00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:56,116 Kirk: Mm. 133 00:02:56,183 --> 00:02:58,750 - I'm just gonna... 134 00:02:58,817 --> 00:03:00,216 You got this, honeybear? 135 00:03:00,283 --> 00:03:01,350 Dwight: Yeah. 136 00:03:01,417 --> 00:03:03,150 Kinda in the middle 137 00:03:01,418 --> 00:03:03,150 of something here, Kirk. 138 00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:04,483 - Good! 139 00:03:04,550 --> 00:03:05,817 I need a purpose. 140 00:03:05,884 --> 00:03:07,583 - How 'bout you keep track 141 00:03:05,885 --> 00:03:07,583 of this ham? 142 00:03:07,650 --> 00:03:08,050 Kirk: [small growl] 143 00:03:08,116 --> 00:03:09,617 - Dwight? 144 00:03:09,684 --> 00:03:10,984 - What? 145 00:03:11,050 --> 00:03:11,984 - [sniff] 146 00:03:12,050 --> 00:03:13,216 [growl] 147 00:03:13,283 --> 00:03:14,150 Ah! 148 00:03:14,216 --> 00:03:14,984 Dwight: You wanna hold 149 00:03:14,217 --> 00:03:14,984 the bounce board? 150 00:03:15,050 --> 00:03:16,316 Kirk: [growl] 151 00:03:16,383 --> 00:03:16,750 Dwight: Yeah. 152 00:03:16,817 --> 00:03:19,183 - Bounce board. 153 00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:21,016 - So just spin around. 154 00:03:21,083 --> 00:03:22,483 Face that wall, 155 00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:26,383 and now just don't move 156 00:03:22,551 --> 00:03:26,383 or say a word, 157 00:03:26,450 --> 00:03:29,917 until I say, "Cut." 158 00:03:29,984 --> 00:03:30,483 - [growl] 159 00:03:30,550 --> 00:03:30,984 - Right? 160 00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:31,417 - [growl] 161 00:03:31,483 --> 00:03:31,884 Dwight: [growl] 162 00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:32,316 Kirk: [growl] 163 00:03:32,383 --> 00:03:33,316 Dwight: [growl] 164 00:03:33,383 --> 00:03:35,250 - [growly laugh] 165 00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:36,050 - Awesome. 166 00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:36,750 All right. 167 00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:37,750 - Finally. 168 00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:38,383 [clears throat] 169 00:03:38,450 --> 00:03:40,350 Dwight: And... 170 00:03:40,417 --> 00:03:41,450 action. 171 00:03:41,517 --> 00:03:44,884 - I know 172 00:03:41,518 --> 00:03:44,884 what you're thinking. 173 00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:47,517 So much to do here. 174 00:03:47,583 --> 00:03:48,216 - I beg your pardon. 175 00:03:48,283 --> 00:03:49,583 Hexela: Where to begin? 176 00:03:49,650 --> 00:03:51,216 The lifeless hair. 177 00:03:51,283 --> 00:03:52,684 The dull skin. 178 00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:53,950 The eye color. 179 00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:54,750 Blech. 180 00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:55,784 - What's wrong 181 00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:55,784 with my eye color? 182 00:03:55,850 --> 00:04:01,283 No, we begin with the lips. 183 00:04:01,350 --> 00:04:02,917 Beautiful, 184 00:04:02,984 --> 00:04:04,050 beguiling, 185 00:04:04,116 --> 00:04:05,984 enticing lips 186 00:04:04,117 --> 00:04:05,984 that will make up 187 00:04:06,050 --> 00:04:11,550 for the rest 188 00:04:06,051 --> 00:04:11,550 of this sad, sad shipwreck. 189 00:04:11,617 --> 00:04:12,250 - Uh, uh. 190 00:04:12,316 --> 00:04:13,350 Dwight: Stay with me, Baldric. 191 00:04:13,417 --> 00:04:15,617 - I can't hold on. 192 00:04:15,684 --> 00:04:18,550 - Hexela's lustrous lip gloss. 193 00:04:18,617 --> 00:04:20,250 Take the gloss, take it. 194 00:04:20,316 --> 00:04:23,183 It will transform you... 195 00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:25,150 into a new creature. 196 00:04:25,216 --> 00:04:26,784 - Uh. 197 00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:27,650 Dwight: Nope, nope. 198 00:04:27,717 --> 00:04:28,350 Saved it. 199 00:04:28,417 --> 00:04:29,650 Still rolling, still rolling. 200 00:04:29,717 --> 00:04:30,583 Uh, uh. 201 00:04:30,650 --> 00:04:31,483 Lip gloss on, go, 202 00:04:31,550 --> 00:04:31,917 lip gloss on, 203 00:04:31,984 --> 00:04:34,283 lip gloss on. 204 00:04:34,350 --> 00:04:35,684 - [gasp] 205 00:04:35,750 --> 00:04:36,884 Behold. 206 00:04:36,950 --> 00:04:38,316 [magical sound] 207 00:04:38,383 --> 00:04:39,650 [bleating] 208 00:04:39,717 --> 00:04:40,417 - [gasp] 209 00:04:40,483 --> 00:04:41,884 - Good gravy! 210 00:04:41,950 --> 00:04:42,717 Hexela's a... 211 00:04:42,784 --> 00:04:43,717 [magical sound] 212 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:44,216 [bleating] 213 00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:45,583 Kirk: Lady fair! 214 00:04:45,650 --> 00:04:47,283 [bleating] 215 00:04:47,350 --> 00:04:48,316 - Ah floof. 216 00:04:48,383 --> 00:04:49,350 [magical sound] 217 00:04:49,417 --> 00:04:50,550 [bleating] 218 00:04:50,617 --> 00:04:51,617 Baldric: Princess! 219 00:04:51,684 --> 00:04:52,350 - Holy cow! 220 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:53,483 - Holy goat! 221 00:04:53,550 --> 00:04:54,183 Dwight: What! 222 00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:55,283 What the heck? 223 00:04:55,350 --> 00:04:56,650 Kirk: Those are goats! 224 00:04:56,717 --> 00:04:58,050 Dwight: Nana! 225 00:04:58,116 --> 00:04:59,850 Kirk: You thought those 226 00:04:58,117 --> 00:04:59,850 were cows? 227 00:04:59,917 --> 00:05:01,984 Have you ever seen a cow? 228 00:05:02,050 --> 00:05:04,150 [bleating] 229 00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:07,250 - They're goats! 230 00:05:07,316 --> 00:05:08,450 ♪ 231 00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:09,717 Dwight: Okay, so 232 00:05:08,518 --> 00:05:09,717 about a thousand years ago, 233 00:05:09,784 --> 00:05:11,417 there was this princess, Gretta 234 00:05:11,483 --> 00:05:12,684 and she was in big trouble 235 00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:13,817 'cause she had lots of enemies 236 00:05:13,884 --> 00:05:15,417 and not a lot of friends. 237 00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:17,417 ♪ 238 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:21,183 So her court magician, Baldric 239 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:21,183 cast the champion spell. 240 00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:22,417 It put everyone in the woods 241 00:05:21,251 --> 00:05:22,417 to sleep 242 00:05:22,483 --> 00:05:23,517 until a champion would come, 243 00:05:23,583 --> 00:05:24,550 break the spell with his kiss 244 00:05:24,617 --> 00:05:26,550 and deal with Gretta's 245 00:05:24,618 --> 00:05:26,550 big, scary enemies, 246 00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:28,817 but that guy never showed up. 247 00:05:28,884 --> 00:05:29,550 Instead, 248 00:05:29,617 --> 00:05:30,684 ahhh, 249 00:05:30,750 --> 00:05:31,417 [kiss] 250 00:05:31,483 --> 00:05:32,216 they got me. 251 00:05:32,283 --> 00:05:33,650 ♪ 252 00:05:33,717 --> 00:05:34,483 Ahhh! 253 00:05:34,550 --> 00:05:38,784 ♪ 254 00:05:38,850 --> 00:05:39,550 Ow! 255 00:05:39,617 --> 00:05:46,750 ♪ 256 00:05:46,817 --> 00:05:54,216 ♪ 257 00:05:54,283 --> 00:05:56,550 [bleating] 258 00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:57,617 Dwight: What happened? 259 00:05:57,684 --> 00:05:58,784 Baldric: Ah. 260 00:05:58,850 --> 00:05:59,850 Here it is. 261 00:05:59,917 --> 00:06:02,984 Side effects 262 00:05:59,918 --> 00:06:02,984 can include goatness. 263 00:06:03,050 --> 00:06:03,750 - What? 264 00:06:03,817 --> 00:06:04,884 [bleating] 265 00:06:04,950 --> 00:06:06,550 - Oh. 266 00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:07,750 - GOATS! 267 00:06:07,817 --> 00:06:10,450 - No, no, no, 268 00:06:07,818 --> 00:06:10,450 nobody is going berserk! 269 00:06:10,517 --> 00:06:11,517 Kirk: GOATS! 270 00:06:11,583 --> 00:06:12,917 - KEEP IT TOGETHER! 271 00:06:12,984 --> 00:06:19,483 Dwight/Kirk: [yelling] 272 00:06:19,550 --> 00:06:21,350 - If I can reach him 273 00:06:19,551 --> 00:06:21,350 before he leaves for the day. 274 00:06:21,417 --> 00:06:21,950 [phone ringing] 275 00:06:22,016 --> 00:06:22,950 - Who? 276 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:31,216 - I must see the contrarian. 277 00:06:31,283 --> 00:06:31,750 Dwight: Come on. 278 00:06:31,817 --> 00:06:32,917 Let's go, let's go. 279 00:06:32,984 --> 00:06:35,450 [bleating] 280 00:06:35,517 --> 00:06:37,750 Dwight: Come on. 281 00:06:37,817 --> 00:06:41,817 Baldric: Right this way. 282 00:06:41,884 --> 00:06:44,784 Dwight: Come on, Kirk. 283 00:06:44,850 --> 00:06:47,350 - No goats allowed 284 00:06:44,851 --> 00:06:47,350 in my tavern. 285 00:06:47,417 --> 00:06:49,050 - Oh, these aren't really goats. 286 00:06:49,116 --> 00:06:51,016 [bleat] 287 00:06:51,083 --> 00:06:55,250 Baldric: This is Her Highness, 288 00:06:51,084 --> 00:06:55,250 Princess Gretta the Besieged. 289 00:06:55,316 --> 00:06:56,583 - And this is my Nana, 290 00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,383 and this is Hexela. 291 00:06:58,450 --> 00:06:59,350 [bleating] 292 00:06:59,417 --> 00:07:01,216 Dwight: Oh, and this is Kirk. 293 00:07:01,283 --> 00:07:03,016 You can't see him 294 00:07:01,284 --> 00:07:03,016 'cause he's a ghost. 295 00:07:03,083 --> 00:07:03,717 Baldric: We have 296 00:07:03,084 --> 00:07:03,717 an appointment 297 00:07:03,784 --> 00:07:07,050 with the contrarian. 298 00:07:07,116 --> 00:07:08,717 - In the back. 299 00:07:08,784 --> 00:07:10,717 Dwight: So, what's a contrarian? 300 00:07:10,784 --> 00:07:12,950 Baldric: A specialist 301 00:07:10,785 --> 00:07:12,950 in counterspells. 302 00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:15,283 Don't let him ruffle you. 303 00:07:15,350 --> 00:07:16,316 Dwight: Huh? 304 00:07:16,383 --> 00:07:20,216 Baldric: Contrarians can be 305 00:07:16,384 --> 00:07:20,216 rather... trying. 306 00:07:20,283 --> 00:07:22,216 Good day to you, sir! 307 00:07:22,283 --> 00:07:24,183 - I wouldn't say good. 308 00:07:24,250 --> 00:07:27,417 The day has been passable 309 00:07:24,251 --> 00:07:27,417 at best. 310 00:07:27,483 --> 00:07:29,116 Dwight: And you must be 311 00:07:27,484 --> 00:07:29,116 the contrarian. 312 00:07:29,183 --> 00:07:32,050 - I prefer counterarian, 313 00:07:32,116 --> 00:07:35,216 apparently no one cares 314 00:07:32,117 --> 00:07:35,216 what I prefer. 315 00:07:35,283 --> 00:07:38,417 Baldric: This is an emergency. 316 00:07:38,483 --> 00:07:41,150 - If your skin were melting off, 317 00:07:41,216 --> 00:07:44,150 that would be an emergency. 318 00:07:44,216 --> 00:07:46,150 Dwight: We can all agree 319 00:07:44,217 --> 00:07:46,150 on that. 320 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:47,750 - I don't like him. 321 00:07:47,817 --> 00:07:48,917 He's a turd. 322 00:07:48,984 --> 00:07:51,517 Dwight: Hey, be nice. 323 00:07:51,583 --> 00:07:53,684 Sorry, you can't see him 324 00:07:51,584 --> 00:07:53,684 'cause-- 325 00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:57,150 - A verboten curse. 326 00:07:57,216 --> 00:08:03,984 You are forever barred 327 00:07:57,217 --> 00:08:03,984 from the Hall of the Fallen. 328 00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:06,216 Dwight: That's kind of 329 00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:06,216 a sensitive subject. 330 00:08:06,283 --> 00:08:09,050 Contrarian: The curse 331 00:08:06,284 --> 00:08:09,050 may be counteracted 332 00:08:09,116 --> 00:08:18,684 by saving one human life. 333 00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:19,550 Next. 334 00:08:19,617 --> 00:08:20,250 Baldric: Oh, that's me. 335 00:08:20,316 --> 00:08:21,283 I'm next. 336 00:08:21,350 --> 00:08:23,383 I'm the one who made 337 00:08:21,351 --> 00:08:23,383 the appointment with you. 338 00:08:23,450 --> 00:08:26,617 - Not with me, 339 00:08:23,451 --> 00:08:26,617 with my assistant. 340 00:08:26,684 --> 00:08:27,784 - As you say. 341 00:08:27,850 --> 00:08:29,150 [stammering] 342 00:08:29,216 --> 00:08:30,517 We need your help. 343 00:08:30,583 --> 00:08:31,850 - No. 344 00:08:31,917 --> 00:08:33,083 I do not offer help. 345 00:08:33,150 --> 00:08:36,283 I offer 346 00:08:33,151 --> 00:08:36,283 my professional opinion. 347 00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:38,316 - [strained laughter] 348 00:08:38,383 --> 00:08:39,517 Quite right. 349 00:08:39,583 --> 00:08:43,283 We would like 350 00:08:39,584 --> 00:08:43,283 your professional opinion 351 00:08:43,350 --> 00:08:45,650 of these animals. 352 00:08:45,717 --> 00:08:48,183 Contrarian: Not just animals, 353 00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:53,250 let's be specific 354 00:08:48,251 --> 00:08:53,250 and call them goats. 355 00:08:53,316 --> 00:08:56,717 [bleating] 356 00:08:56,784 --> 00:08:57,850 - Goats. 357 00:08:57,917 --> 00:08:59,183 Baldric: [chuckles angrily] 358 00:08:59,250 --> 00:09:00,483 Fine. 359 00:09:00,550 --> 00:09:02,016 Goats they are. 360 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,350 - Ah, there's your mistake. 361 00:09:04,417 --> 00:09:06,183 These are not goats, 362 00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:10,750 these creatures are humans 363 00:09:06,251 --> 00:09:10,750 in goat shape. 364 00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:14,383 A lip gloss spell 365 00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:14,383 can sometimes cause goatness. 366 00:09:14,450 --> 00:09:14,850 Baldric: Yes! 367 00:09:14,917 --> 00:09:15,517 Yes, yes. 368 00:09:15,583 --> 00:09:17,617 Less than half an hour ago. 369 00:09:17,684 --> 00:09:22,984 Contrarian: You have four hours 370 00:09:17,685 --> 00:09:22,984 from the onset of goatness 371 00:09:23,050 --> 00:09:25,850 to permanence of goatness. 372 00:09:25,917 --> 00:09:27,016 - Permanence? 373 00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:28,283 - What, so they'll stay goats? 374 00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:29,617 Contrarian: I didn't say that. 375 00:09:29,684 --> 00:09:35,650 I said, their goatness 376 00:09:29,685 --> 00:09:35,650 will be permanent. 377 00:09:35,717 --> 00:09:37,216 Dwight: So, they'll stay goats. 378 00:09:37,283 --> 00:09:40,917 Contrarian: Follow these 379 00:09:37,284 --> 00:09:40,917 instructions to the letter. 380 00:09:40,984 --> 00:09:42,016 - We shall with haste. 381 00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:44,583 - Not with haste. 382 00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:49,450 With care and precision. 383 00:09:49,517 --> 00:09:50,850 Dwight: Come on. 384 00:09:50,917 --> 00:09:53,583 [bleating] 385 00:09:53,650 --> 00:09:54,850 Dwight: I can't handle that guy. 386 00:09:54,917 --> 00:09:56,216 Kirk: Let's twist his head off. 387 00:09:56,283 --> 00:09:56,950 Dwight: No. 388 00:09:57,016 --> 00:09:57,817 Ew. 389 00:09:57,884 --> 00:10:03,650 But... yeah. 390 00:10:03,717 --> 00:10:08,750 [glug, glug, glug] 391 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:15,050 - Ahhh. 392 00:10:15,116 --> 00:10:16,984 [bleating] 393 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,717 - No, Hexela, slow down. 394 00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:20,717 Kirk, can I get a hand? 395 00:10:20,784 --> 00:10:22,250 Kirk? 396 00:10:22,316 --> 00:10:25,950 Baldric: Oh. 397 00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:27,550 - Hey! 398 00:10:27,617 --> 00:10:29,750 Hey. 399 00:10:29,817 --> 00:10:33,417 Wow, that looks great. 400 00:10:33,483 --> 00:10:34,817 - It's from Soup and Scoop. 401 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:35,583 Boyfriend: Yeah. 402 00:10:35,650 --> 00:10:39,383 The marionberry is amazing. 403 00:10:39,450 --> 00:10:41,216 - Ew. 404 00:10:41,283 --> 00:10:41,984 Oh, wow. 405 00:10:42,050 --> 00:10:42,483 Oh, great. 406 00:10:42,550 --> 00:10:42,784 Yeah. 407 00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:43,350 Come on. 408 00:10:43,417 --> 00:10:45,417 Come over here, please. 409 00:10:45,483 --> 00:10:46,050 Goats, 410 00:10:46,116 --> 00:10:47,417 I'm talking to the goats. 411 00:10:47,483 --> 00:10:48,383 [laughing] 412 00:10:48,450 --> 00:10:50,784 Kirk, get your butt over here. 413 00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:54,150 - [small growl] 414 00:10:54,216 --> 00:10:56,150 Dwight: Thank you. 415 00:10:56,216 --> 00:10:57,250 [chuckle] 416 00:10:57,316 --> 00:10:59,083 Thanks, buddy. 417 00:10:59,150 --> 00:10:59,583 [sigh] 418 00:10:59,650 --> 00:11:00,617 What does it say? 419 00:11:00,684 --> 00:11:03,283 Baldric: Walk the goats 420 00:11:00,685 --> 00:11:03,283 across troll bridge 421 00:11:03,350 --> 00:11:08,116 bearing a bushel of stress. 422 00:11:08,183 --> 00:11:10,083 - Stress is measured 423 00:11:08,184 --> 00:11:10,083 in bushels? 424 00:11:10,150 --> 00:11:14,417 Baldric: Ingest one mouthful 425 00:11:10,151 --> 00:11:14,417 of stress. 426 00:11:14,483 --> 00:11:14,850 Dwight: What? 427 00:11:14,917 --> 00:11:16,316 Let me see that. 428 00:11:16,383 --> 00:11:18,116 Whoa, that is ridiculous. 429 00:11:18,183 --> 00:11:19,417 What? Are we supposed 430 00:11:18,184 --> 00:11:19,417 to read this? 431 00:11:19,483 --> 00:11:20,550 Baldric: Contrarians 432 00:11:19,484 --> 00:11:20,550 pride themselves 433 00:11:20,617 --> 00:11:23,250 on their illegible handwriting. 434 00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:23,884 Dwight: Of course they do. 435 00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:24,517 Baldric: Yes. 436 00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:28,984 Dwight: Walk the soaps. 437 00:11:29,050 --> 00:11:29,784 - Goats. 438 00:11:29,850 --> 00:11:31,216 Dwight: I do not see that. 439 00:11:31,283 --> 00:11:33,116 Baldric: Uh, um. 440 00:11:33,183 --> 00:11:33,950 Dwight: Hey! 441 00:11:34,016 --> 00:11:36,483 Excuse me, 442 00:11:34,017 --> 00:11:36,483 you're a doctor, right? 443 00:11:36,550 --> 00:11:37,917 Guy in Scrubs: 444 00:11:36,551 --> 00:11:37,917 I'm a dental hygienist. 445 00:11:37,984 --> 00:11:41,650 - Can you read this? 446 00:11:41,717 --> 00:11:43,884 Guy in Scrubs: Walk the goats 447 00:11:41,718 --> 00:11:43,884 across troll bridge 448 00:11:43,950 --> 00:11:46,316 bearing a bushel of stress. 449 00:11:46,383 --> 00:11:47,283 Baldric: Ha, ha! 450 00:11:47,350 --> 00:11:47,884 Ha! See. 451 00:11:47,950 --> 00:11:48,950 - Oh wait, sorry, straw. 452 00:11:49,016 --> 00:11:51,884 Dwight: Ha! Thank you. 453 00:11:51,950 --> 00:11:53,417 Thanks. 454 00:11:53,483 --> 00:11:56,150 Thank you! 455 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:56,583 Gretta! 456 00:11:56,650 --> 00:11:57,417 No! 457 00:11:57,483 --> 00:11:59,417 Don't eat the trash, 458 00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:59,417 that's gross. 459 00:11:59,483 --> 00:12:03,116 Baldric: We must find a bushel 460 00:11:59,484 --> 00:12:03,116 of straw without delay. 461 00:12:03,183 --> 00:12:05,216 - I'm on it. 462 00:12:05,283 --> 00:12:05,984 Uh. 463 00:12:06,050 --> 00:12:07,116 Baldric: Yes, yes. 464 00:12:07,183 --> 00:12:08,016 Dwight: That way. 465 00:12:08,083 --> 00:12:09,050 Baldric: Come along. 466 00:12:09,116 --> 00:12:12,950 Leave the pizza, princess. 467 00:12:13,016 --> 00:12:15,617 [bleating] 468 00:12:15,684 --> 00:12:25,650 Kirk: [growling bite] 469 00:12:28,283 --> 00:12:29,583 [growl] 470 00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:32,383 [bleating] 471 00:12:32,450 --> 00:12:39,450 [bleating] 472 00:12:39,517 --> 00:12:47,750 [growling] 473 00:12:47,817 --> 00:12:48,784 Dwight: That's easily 474 00:12:47,818 --> 00:12:48,784 a bushel, right? 475 00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:53,517 Baldric: Yes. 476 00:12:53,583 --> 00:12:54,583 To troll bridge! 477 00:12:54,650 --> 00:12:55,050 Oh. 478 00:12:55,116 --> 00:12:56,250 And quickly! 479 00:12:56,316 --> 00:12:57,717 All right, come along ladies. 480 00:12:57,784 --> 00:12:59,517 No time for grazing. 481 00:12:59,583 --> 00:13:00,316 Let's go. 482 00:13:00,383 --> 00:13:05,216 [bleating] 483 00:13:05,283 --> 00:13:07,617 Dwight: So, what makes this 484 00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:07,617 a troll bridge? 485 00:13:07,684 --> 00:13:09,116 - The troll. 486 00:13:09,183 --> 00:13:10,250 Troll: Heigh-ho there. 487 00:13:10,316 --> 00:13:11,383 Dwight: [loud yelp] 488 00:13:11,450 --> 00:13:13,283 Troll: Who wants 489 00:13:11,451 --> 00:13:13,283 to cross my bridge? 490 00:13:13,350 --> 00:13:14,250 Dwight: Uuuuh. 491 00:13:14,316 --> 00:13:15,250 Baldric: We do. 492 00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:19,183 - Yessirree, good sir, 493 00:13:15,317 --> 00:13:19,183 that'll be one crown. 494 00:13:19,250 --> 00:13:21,250 Baldric: Oh, 495 00:13:19,251 --> 00:13:21,250 that's quite reasonable. 496 00:13:21,316 --> 00:13:23,383 Oh, oh, oh, 497 00:13:21,317 --> 00:13:23,383 did you mean both of you? 498 00:13:23,450 --> 00:13:24,750 Uh, that'll be another crown. 499 00:13:24,817 --> 00:13:27,717 Two people, two crowns, 500 00:13:24,818 --> 00:13:27,717 that's our policy. 501 00:13:27,784 --> 00:13:30,517 Baldric: Fine, 502 00:13:27,785 --> 00:13:30,517 we are pressed for time. 503 00:13:30,583 --> 00:13:31,583 Troll: Oh. 504 00:13:31,650 --> 00:13:33,617 Well, crossing quickly 505 00:13:31,651 --> 00:13:33,617 will cost you a crown more 506 00:13:33,684 --> 00:13:34,917 than crossing slowly. 507 00:13:34,984 --> 00:13:35,550 Dwight: What? 508 00:13:35,617 --> 00:13:36,417 How does that make sense? 509 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:37,917 Troll: Eh, rules are rules. 510 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:38,617 - [small growl] 511 00:13:38,684 --> 00:13:40,216 Baldric: Hurry, Sir Dwight. 512 00:13:40,283 --> 00:13:41,350 Come along, ladies. 513 00:13:41,417 --> 00:13:42,116 [bleating] 514 00:13:42,183 --> 00:13:43,517 Troll: You. 515 00:13:43,583 --> 00:13:45,684 You taking those goats across? 516 00:13:45,750 --> 00:13:47,283 No, that'll cost ya. 517 00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:48,383 Baldric: How much? 518 00:13:48,450 --> 00:13:50,150 Troll: Well, three goats, 519 00:13:48,451 --> 00:13:50,150 three crowns. 520 00:13:50,216 --> 00:13:51,450 - Unbelievable. 521 00:13:51,517 --> 00:13:53,850 Baldric: Three more crowns 522 00:13:51,518 --> 00:13:53,850 gains crossing 523 00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:56,216 for ourselves 524 00:13:53,918 --> 00:13:56,216 and the goats, yes? 525 00:13:56,283 --> 00:14:00,784 Troll: Yessirree. 526 00:14:00,850 --> 00:14:05,450 Oh, but did I forget, 527 00:14:00,851 --> 00:14:05,450 you're wearing clothes. 528 00:14:05,517 --> 00:14:06,283 Baldric: Pardon? 529 00:14:06,350 --> 00:14:07,917 Troll: That's 530 00:14:06,351 --> 00:14:07,917 an additional crown. 531 00:14:07,984 --> 00:14:09,283 - For wearing clothes? 532 00:14:09,350 --> 00:14:11,050 Troll: Eh, that's our policy. 533 00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:14,383 Dwight: [stammering 534 00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:14,383 in frustration] 535 00:14:14,450 --> 00:14:15,984 Fine. 536 00:14:16,050 --> 00:14:20,116 [muttering] 537 00:14:20,183 --> 00:14:20,950 - Sir Dwight! 538 00:14:21,016 --> 00:14:22,784 Dwight: No, 539 00:14:21,017 --> 00:14:22,784 we're doing this naked. 540 00:14:22,850 --> 00:14:24,417 - I'd prefer to pay. 541 00:14:24,483 --> 00:14:25,583 - I can go either way. 542 00:14:25,650 --> 00:14:27,483 Dwight: Nope, on principle. 543 00:14:27,550 --> 00:14:30,850 This guy does not get 544 00:14:27,551 --> 00:14:30,850 one more coin from us. 545 00:14:30,917 --> 00:14:33,417 - In fact I have to charge 546 00:14:30,918 --> 00:14:33,417 you two more crowns 547 00:14:33,483 --> 00:14:36,917 for stopping on the bridge 548 00:14:33,484 --> 00:14:36,917 and holding up traffic. 549 00:14:36,984 --> 00:14:38,350 Dwight: Uh. 550 00:14:38,417 --> 00:14:39,583 What traffic? 551 00:14:39,650 --> 00:14:40,617 Troll: Rules are rules. 552 00:14:40,684 --> 00:14:41,817 Dwight: Are you freaking 553 00:14:40,685 --> 00:14:41,817 kidding me? 554 00:14:41,884 --> 00:14:44,150 You are standing there 555 00:14:41,885 --> 00:14:44,150 making up the rules! 556 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:47,183 - That'll be another crown 557 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:47,183 for insulting talk back. 558 00:14:47,250 --> 00:14:47,917 Dwight: Oh. 559 00:14:47,984 --> 00:14:48,850 Troll: You know, 560 00:14:47,985 --> 00:14:48,850 I have the right 561 00:14:48,917 --> 00:14:51,016 to refuse service 562 00:14:48,918 --> 00:14:51,016 to snotty little boys. 563 00:14:51,083 --> 00:14:52,216 Dwight: [scoffs] 564 00:14:52,283 --> 00:14:55,717 Troll: I have half a mind 565 00:14:52,284 --> 00:14:55,717 to throw you off this bridge. 566 00:14:55,784 --> 00:14:58,283 Kirk: [growls loudly] 567 00:14:58,350 --> 00:15:00,150 Troll: [screaming] 568 00:15:00,216 --> 00:15:02,150 [thunk] 569 00:15:02,216 --> 00:15:04,350 [bleating] 570 00:15:04,417 --> 00:15:05,550 - Move along. 571 00:15:05,617 --> 00:15:06,984 Baldric: Yes, uh. 572 00:15:07,050 --> 00:15:14,016 Yes, yes. 573 00:15:14,083 --> 00:15:15,450 - Finally, now what. 574 00:15:15,517 --> 00:15:18,383 - Ingest one mouthful 575 00:15:15,518 --> 00:15:18,383 of the straw. 576 00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:19,016 Dwight: Copy that. 577 00:15:19,083 --> 00:15:20,050 Kirk. 578 00:15:20,116 --> 00:15:20,884 Baldric. 579 00:15:20,950 --> 00:15:21,450 Here you go. 580 00:15:21,517 --> 00:15:22,850 Baldric: Thank you. 581 00:15:22,917 --> 00:15:23,650 Dwight: Here Gretta. 582 00:15:23,717 --> 00:15:24,684 Gretta. 583 00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:27,450 Kirk: [small growl] 584 00:15:27,517 --> 00:15:28,483 - Nothing's happening. 585 00:15:28,550 --> 00:15:33,617 Baldric: A kiss with 586 00:15:28,551 --> 00:15:33,617 uh, moronic dopes 587 00:15:33,684 --> 00:15:35,750 will complete the counter spell. 588 00:15:35,817 --> 00:15:36,650 - Moronic dopes? 589 00:15:36,717 --> 00:15:37,316 [bleating] 590 00:15:37,383 --> 00:15:43,016 - We know any? 591 00:15:43,083 --> 00:15:46,083 - Insufferable contrarian. 592 00:15:46,150 --> 00:15:49,116 Undoubtably he means 593 00:15:46,151 --> 00:15:49,116 the three of us. 594 00:15:49,183 --> 00:15:50,450 - That guy is the worst. 595 00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:52,483 Baldric: Time grows short. 596 00:15:52,550 --> 00:15:53,550 - Pucker up, men. 597 00:15:53,617 --> 00:15:54,984 Dwight: Um, I, uh, 598 00:15:55,050 --> 00:15:56,183 I call Nana goat. 599 00:15:56,250 --> 00:15:57,116 She's my grandmother. 600 00:15:57,183 --> 00:15:58,583 So it won't be weird. 601 00:15:58,650 --> 00:15:59,583 - Uh, hm. 602 00:15:59,650 --> 00:16:03,150 I mean, weird compared 603 00:15:59,651 --> 00:16:03,150 to her being a goat. 604 00:16:03,216 --> 00:16:07,216 Baldric: I'll kiss 605 00:16:03,217 --> 00:16:07,216 Her Highness goat. 606 00:16:07,283 --> 00:16:09,917 - That leaves me 607 00:16:07,284 --> 00:16:09,917 with the witch. 608 00:16:09,984 --> 00:16:15,150 - Oh. Hm. 609 00:16:15,216 --> 00:16:16,617 - [kiss] 610 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:18,517 - [kiss] 611 00:16:18,583 --> 00:16:20,250 - [kiss] 612 00:16:20,316 --> 00:16:22,650 - Ugh. 613 00:16:22,717 --> 00:16:26,450 - Ugh. 614 00:16:26,517 --> 00:16:27,583 - What's the problem? 615 00:16:27,650 --> 00:16:29,183 Baldric: I don't understand it. 616 00:16:29,250 --> 00:16:33,116 Ingest one mouthful 617 00:16:29,251 --> 00:16:33,116 of the straw. 618 00:16:33,183 --> 00:16:37,750 - Wait, who ingests 619 00:16:33,184 --> 00:16:37,750 one mouthful of straw? 620 00:16:37,817 --> 00:16:41,316 - Well if not the goats, 621 00:16:37,818 --> 00:16:41,316 then perhaps... 622 00:16:41,383 --> 00:16:42,150 - Don't say it. 623 00:16:42,216 --> 00:16:43,617 - Oh. 624 00:16:43,684 --> 00:16:50,083 [crunching] 625 00:16:50,150 --> 00:16:53,950 - It's not bad. 626 00:16:54,016 --> 00:16:56,684 - Do we kiss the goats 627 00:16:54,017 --> 00:16:56,684 now or what? 628 00:16:56,750 --> 00:17:00,550 - That should do it. 629 00:17:00,617 --> 00:17:05,316 [kiss, kiss, kiss] 630 00:17:05,383 --> 00:17:05,984 - Ick. 631 00:17:06,050 --> 00:17:07,750 [spits] 632 00:17:07,817 --> 00:17:09,450 [bleating] 633 00:17:09,517 --> 00:17:12,183 - Uh. 634 00:17:12,250 --> 00:17:13,550 It says, 635 00:17:13,617 --> 00:17:15,283 "A kiss with moronic dopes 636 00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:19,450 will complete 637 00:17:15,351 --> 00:17:19,450 the counter spell." 638 00:17:19,517 --> 00:17:21,750 Perhaps we do not qualify. 639 00:17:21,817 --> 00:17:23,550 Dwight: That's validation. 640 00:17:23,617 --> 00:17:27,050 Baldric: We must find 641 00:17:23,618 --> 00:17:27,050 a moronic dope posthaste. 642 00:17:27,116 --> 00:17:29,250 - They're everywhere. 643 00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:32,784 Troll: [groaning] 644 00:17:32,850 --> 00:17:33,817 - There's one now. 645 00:17:33,884 --> 00:17:34,784 Troll: [groan] 646 00:17:34,850 --> 00:17:36,483 What, what happened? 647 00:17:36,550 --> 00:17:40,817 Oh, how, how, how did I, 648 00:17:40,884 --> 00:17:43,216 what's going on? 649 00:17:43,283 --> 00:17:47,316 Baldric: You lost your footing 650 00:17:43,284 --> 00:17:47,316 and had a bad tumble. 651 00:17:47,383 --> 00:17:50,016 Dwight: And took a header 652 00:17:47,384 --> 00:17:50,016 into the ditch. 653 00:17:50,083 --> 00:17:52,216 Baldric: Now eat that straw 654 00:17:50,084 --> 00:17:52,216 and kiss this goat. 655 00:17:52,283 --> 00:17:53,183 Dwight: I know it sounds weird, 656 00:17:53,250 --> 00:17:54,817 but these three goats 657 00:17:53,251 --> 00:17:54,817 are actually people 658 00:17:54,884 --> 00:17:57,083 who went under 659 00:17:54,885 --> 00:17:57,083 a bad lip gloss spell. 660 00:17:57,150 --> 00:17:58,583 - Oh, so you're working 661 00:17:57,151 --> 00:17:58,583 a counter spell. 662 00:17:58,650 --> 00:18:00,316 Baldric: Exactly so. 663 00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:04,150 Now we just require a kiss 664 00:18:00,384 --> 00:18:04,150 from a moronic-- 665 00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:05,917 Dwight: Handsome troll. 666 00:18:05,984 --> 00:18:08,116 - A handsome troll, yes. 667 00:18:08,183 --> 00:18:09,016 - Let me see. 668 00:18:09,083 --> 00:18:11,583 [strange laugh] 669 00:18:11,650 --> 00:18:13,350 Ingest the straw. 670 00:18:13,417 --> 00:18:13,984 Mm-hmm. 671 00:18:14,050 --> 00:18:14,850 Dwight: Got it right here. 672 00:18:14,917 --> 00:18:16,150 - [odd sound] 673 00:18:16,216 --> 00:18:24,083 A kiss with romantic hopes 674 00:18:16,217 --> 00:18:24,083 will complete the counter spell. 675 00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:26,083 - Sorry, a kiss with what? 676 00:18:26,150 --> 00:18:27,817 - Romantic hopes. 677 00:18:27,884 --> 00:18:29,850 - How did you see 678 00:18:27,885 --> 00:18:29,850 handsome troll in that? 679 00:18:29,917 --> 00:18:31,250 Uh, so uh, 680 00:18:31,316 --> 00:18:36,283 you fellows have romantic hopes 681 00:18:31,317 --> 00:18:36,283 for these three? 682 00:18:36,350 --> 00:18:37,250 - Uh. 683 00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:38,050 - Uh. 684 00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:41,050 Kirk: Oh, yes. 685 00:18:41,116 --> 00:18:42,050 Dwight: You do? 686 00:18:42,116 --> 00:18:44,817 - Any warm-blooded man 687 00:18:42,117 --> 00:18:44,817 with a heartbeat would. 688 00:18:44,884 --> 00:18:48,450 - Now see here, berserker. 689 00:18:48,517 --> 00:18:52,116 My romantic hopes predate 690 00:18:48,518 --> 00:18:52,116 your romantic hopes 691 00:18:52,183 --> 00:18:55,583 by lifetimes. 692 00:18:55,650 --> 00:18:56,884 Dwight: He just does this 693 00:18:55,651 --> 00:18:56,884 every now and then. 694 00:18:56,950 --> 00:19:00,784 Baldric: And nobody kisses 695 00:18:56,951 --> 00:19:00,784 this goat but me. 696 00:19:00,850 --> 00:19:02,950 [bleating] 697 00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:04,116 - Isn't that the witch? 698 00:19:04,183 --> 00:19:05,817 Baldric: My witch! 699 00:19:05,884 --> 00:19:08,617 You cad! 700 00:19:08,684 --> 00:19:11,016 Kirk: She's all yours. 701 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:13,817 There is my lady fair. 702 00:19:13,884 --> 00:19:14,950 - Nana? 703 00:19:15,016 --> 00:19:19,050 Kirk: She is a sweet, tender, 704 00:19:15,017 --> 00:19:19,050 gorgeous woman, my lad. 705 00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:20,116 - Stop. 706 00:19:20,183 --> 00:19:21,517 - She puts a fire in me. 707 00:19:21,583 --> 00:19:23,450 - La, la, la, la, la. 708 00:19:23,517 --> 00:19:26,016 Baldric: And I wish both 709 00:19:23,518 --> 00:19:26,016 of you joy. 710 00:19:26,083 --> 00:19:29,784 I hope you'll forgive 711 00:19:26,084 --> 00:19:29,784 that little misunderstanding. 712 00:19:29,850 --> 00:19:30,750 [chuckle] 713 00:19:30,817 --> 00:19:34,750 - You like witches, 714 00:19:30,818 --> 00:19:34,750 that's your business. 715 00:19:34,817 --> 00:19:35,817 Baldric: It falls to you 716 00:19:34,818 --> 00:19:35,817 Sir Dwight 717 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:39,116 to kiss Princess Gretta 718 00:19:35,885 --> 00:19:39,116 back to human form. 719 00:19:39,183 --> 00:19:44,417 Troll: Only if he has 720 00:19:39,184 --> 00:19:44,417 romantic hopes for the lady. 721 00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:49,316 - Do you? 722 00:19:49,383 --> 00:19:54,650 - Well? 723 00:19:54,717 --> 00:19:58,350 Do you? 724 00:19:58,417 --> 00:20:01,216 - I mean. 725 00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:02,950 Possibly. 726 00:20:03,016 --> 00:20:05,717 Before the goat stuff, maybe I, 727 00:20:05,784 --> 00:20:06,450 there was, I, 728 00:20:06,517 --> 00:20:07,650 well, uh, 729 00:20:07,717 --> 00:20:08,617 maybe just, 730 00:20:08,684 --> 00:20:11,250 like, teensy ones. 731 00:20:11,316 --> 00:20:13,817 Baldric: The fate 732 00:20:11,317 --> 00:20:13,817 of Princess Gretta hangs 733 00:20:13,884 --> 00:20:17,550 on your teensy hopes. 734 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:21,116 - Zero pressure. 735 00:20:21,183 --> 00:20:23,350 Baldric: [clears throat] 736 00:20:23,417 --> 00:20:30,083 Every man has his goat. 737 00:20:30,150 --> 00:20:31,183 [kiss] 738 00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:32,884 [magical sound] 739 00:20:32,950 --> 00:20:35,517 Dwight: Huh! 740 00:20:35,583 --> 00:20:37,150 - [kiss] 741 00:20:37,216 --> 00:20:38,016 Hexela: Huh! 742 00:20:38,083 --> 00:20:40,083 Baldric: Ha, ha! 743 00:20:40,150 --> 00:20:41,717 [magical sound] 744 00:20:41,784 --> 00:20:43,517 Nana: [squeak] 745 00:20:43,583 --> 00:20:44,116 Hexela: Whoa! 746 00:20:44,183 --> 00:20:45,016 - Where are we? 747 00:20:45,083 --> 00:20:49,250 Nana: Why is Kirk 748 00:20:45,084 --> 00:20:49,250 holding my face? 749 00:20:49,316 --> 00:20:49,950 Dwight: Who knows? 750 00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:52,450 Come stand by me, Kirk. 751 00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:53,650 Hexela: Oh, ugh. 752 00:20:53,717 --> 00:20:54,917 Were we goats just now? 753 00:20:54,984 --> 00:20:55,650 Baldric: You were. 754 00:20:55,717 --> 00:20:56,150 Hexela/Gretta: Ugh. 755 00:20:56,216 --> 00:20:57,417 - What happened? 756 00:20:57,483 --> 00:20:58,350 Dwight: Bad lip gloss. 757 00:20:58,417 --> 00:20:59,216 Hexela: Uh! 758 00:20:59,283 --> 00:21:01,250 Dwight: Turns out can 759 00:20:59,284 --> 00:21:01,250 cause goatness. 760 00:21:01,316 --> 00:21:02,350 - Who's that guy? 761 00:21:02,417 --> 00:21:03,283 Dwight: A troll. 762 00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:05,483 Troll: Who wants to cross 763 00:21:03,351 --> 00:21:05,483 my bridge? 764 00:21:05,550 --> 00:21:06,617 - [growls] 765 00:21:06,684 --> 00:21:07,984 Hexela: Wait. 766 00:21:08,050 --> 00:21:10,850 How did you counteract 767 00:21:08,051 --> 00:21:10,850 the goatness spell? 768 00:21:10,917 --> 00:21:14,517 Oh, well, we, uh. 769 00:21:14,583 --> 00:21:15,517 Sorry, madame. 770 00:21:15,583 --> 00:21:21,617 A magician never 771 00:21:15,584 --> 00:21:21,617 reveals his secrets. 772 00:21:21,684 --> 00:21:23,016 Kirk: Come with me, lady fair. 773 00:21:23,083 --> 00:21:24,283 The shank of Hormel-- 774 00:21:24,350 --> 00:21:25,216 Nana: Oh. 775 00:21:25,283 --> 00:21:26,884 Kirk: awaits us at home. 776 00:21:26,950 --> 00:21:28,083 Nana: Okay. 777 00:21:28,150 --> 00:21:29,684 Wow, you're muscly. 778 00:21:29,750 --> 00:21:32,817 Kirk: Mmm. 779 00:21:32,884 --> 00:21:35,417 Baldric: Shall we? 780 00:21:35,483 --> 00:21:36,483 Hexela: I thought 781 00:21:35,484 --> 00:21:36,483 you'd never ask. 782 00:21:36,550 --> 00:21:41,283 Baldric: [chuckle] 783 00:21:41,350 --> 00:21:47,483 - We should, um, 784 00:21:41,351 --> 00:21:47,483 we should go. 785 00:21:47,550 --> 00:21:49,617 Troll: One, two, three, four, 786 00:21:47,551 --> 00:21:49,617 five people. 787 00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:51,617 Baldric: With clothes. 788 00:21:51,684 --> 00:21:52,116 Hexela: [gasp] 789 00:21:52,183 --> 00:21:53,684 - That'll cost ya. 790 00:21:53,750 --> 00:21:54,283 Baldric: [angry sigh] 791 00:21:54,350 --> 00:21:55,984 Kirk. 792 00:21:56,050 --> 00:21:58,917 If you please. 793 00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:02,050 Kirk: [growl] 794 00:22:02,116 --> 00:22:03,250 [loud yell] 795 00:22:03,316 --> 00:22:04,183 Troll: [screaming] 796 00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:06,684 [thud] 797 00:22:06,750 --> 00:22:09,650 [laughing] 798 00:22:09,717 --> 00:22:12,917 Hexela [on screen]: 799 00:22:09,718 --> 00:22:12,917 Is your nose too big? 800 00:22:12,984 --> 00:22:19,550 Are your teeth too small? 801 00:22:19,617 --> 00:22:21,383 - How goes the YouTube? 802 00:22:21,450 --> 00:22:24,283 Dwight: All good. 803 00:22:24,350 --> 00:22:25,984 We actually got 804 00:22:24,351 --> 00:22:25,984 some good stuff 805 00:22:26,050 --> 00:22:28,150 before you all turned 806 00:22:26,051 --> 00:22:28,150 into goats. 807 00:22:28,216 --> 00:22:28,850 [small laugh] 808 00:22:28,917 --> 00:22:32,016 - A most unsettling experience. 809 00:22:32,083 --> 00:22:34,583 Dwight: I'll bet. 810 00:22:34,650 --> 00:22:37,417 You, you. 811 00:22:37,483 --> 00:22:44,750 You don't remember anything 812 00:22:37,484 --> 00:22:44,750 from your goat time? 813 00:22:44,817 --> 00:22:45,984 - [sigh] 814 00:22:46,050 --> 00:22:50,216 Perhaps just one thing. 815 00:22:50,283 --> 00:22:53,250 Dwight: Yeah. 816 00:22:53,316 --> 00:22:59,850 - Tell me truly Sir Dwight. 817 00:22:59,917 --> 00:23:04,417 Dwight: I 818 00:22:59,918 --> 00:23:04,417 Gretta: Did I eat a pizza box? 819 00:23:04,483 --> 00:23:05,917 [laughs] 820 00:23:05,984 --> 00:23:07,283 - Yeah. 821 00:23:07,350 --> 00:23:09,216 Yeah, right out of the trash. 822 00:23:09,283 --> 00:23:16,216 It was, it was pretty, 823 00:23:09,284 --> 00:23:16,216 it was gross. 824 00:23:16,283 --> 00:23:18,016 - Good night. 825 00:23:18,083 --> 00:23:19,083 ♪ 47196

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