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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:02,635 Dwight: Previously on Dwight in Shining Armor. 2 00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:03,870 - I need something. 3 00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:05,105 It belongs to a friend of mine 4 00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:06,639 and I think it might have ended up here 5 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:07,707 in this secret chamber. 6 00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:08,341 - What is it? 7 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,243 - It's hard to describe, 8 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:15,148 but it's in a stone box with this emblem on it. 9 00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:16,149 [leaves scraping] 10 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:17,217 - There you go. 11 00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:19,018 [grating stone] 12 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,420 - Empty! 13 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:23,556 - Unhand my scepter, you thief. 14 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:26,326 [magical swirling wind] 15 00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:28,528 Don't! 16 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,397 [blorp] 17 00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:31,398 - How long do we have? 18 00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:33,099 Baldric: Difficult to say, Your Highness. 19 00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:35,068 Chlodwig: Weeks? Days? 20 00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:36,469 Hexela: More likely hours. 21 00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:37,337 Dwight: Before what? 22 00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:42,575 Gretta: Before Sir Aldred is back. 23 00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:45,578 [blub, blub] 24 00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:54,454 [suspenseful music] 25 00:00:54,455 --> 00:01:00,093 [knob clatters to the floor] 26 00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:05,064 [drawers opening and shutting] 27 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:10,637 [Bop-It noises] 28 00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:15,508 - Sh! Sh! 29 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:18,011 [loud crash] 30 00:01:18,012 --> 00:01:19,279 Wenzo: Silence! 31 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:20,980 [banging] 32 00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:29,088 [Bop-It continues briefly then stops] 33 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:43,803 [rummaging] 34 00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:44,404 Baldric: HALT! 35 00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:45,271 Thief! 36 00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,707 [yell] 37 00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:48,408 [fighting] 38 00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:49,642 [thud] 39 00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,544 Baldric: Ha, ha, ha. 40 00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:53,446 [gasping] 41 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,447 Baldric: You! 42 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:55,215 [thwap] 43 00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:58,351 Baldric: [yells] 44 00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,253 [electric crash] 45 00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:03,022 Gretta: [convulsive noises] 46 00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:07,927 [grunts] 47 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:09,395 Did you see that? 48 00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,731 - Most strange. 49 00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:13,233 Quickly. 50 00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:15,168 We leave at first light. 51 00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:17,937 Gretta: Whither? 52 00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:20,006 - The woods. 53 00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:21,541 [theme music] 54 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,076 Dwight: Okay, so about a thousand years ago, 55 00:02:23,077 --> 00:02:25,044 there was this princess, Gretta. 56 00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:26,246 And she was in big trouble 57 00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:30,783 because she had lots of enemies and not a lot of friends. 58 00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:34,521 So her court magician, Baldric cast the champion spell. 59 00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:35,755 It put everyone in the woods to sleep 60 00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:37,857 until a champion would come break the spell with his kiss 61 00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:40,026 and deal with Gretta's big, scary enemies. 62 00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:42,295 That guy never showed up. 63 00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:43,029 Ah! 64 00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:43,997 Instead... 65 00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:44,764 [kissing noise] 66 00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:45,565 they got me. 67 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:46,966 ♪♪ 68 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,001 Ah! 69 00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:52,171 ♪♪ 70 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:52,939 Ow! 71 00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:55,875 ♪♪ 72 00:02:55,876 --> 00:03:09,088 ♪♪ 73 00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:10,590 Dwight: Guys we should just call the police 74 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:13,293 or maybe contact the neighborhood watch, 75 00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,260 whoever broke into your house. 76 00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:16,462 Gretta: We know who broke into our house. 77 00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:17,430 Dwight: You do? 78 00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,532 Baldric: His name is Wenzo Thief. 79 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,968 Gretta: He comes from a long line of cut-purses, 80 00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,836 pickpockets, and burglars. 81 00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:24,871 Dwight: Well, with a last name like Thief, 82 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,272 what more can you really do? 83 00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:27,440 Baldric: The last time I saw Wenzo Thief, 84 00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:28,841 he was leaping from the window 85 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,743 of the great hall. 86 00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,645 It was on a night of a new moon. 87 00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:33,947 Dark as pitch, 88 00:03:33,948 --> 00:03:39,519 just days before our castle came under siege. 89 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,921 Wenzo Thief broke into the castle, 90 00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:45,391 but he was discovered by the royal guards. 91 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,560 We chased him into the great hall where he jumped 92 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:51,731 from the window and escaped into the woods. 93 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,499 I personally conducted an inventory 94 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:56,135 of the castle's valuables but nothing was missing. 95 00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:58,271 Dwight: So, the guy breaks into your castle, 96 00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,873 runs from the royal guards, throws himself out of a window 97 00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:01,874 and he doesn't take anything? 98 00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,009 Gretta: So it appears. 99 00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,010 Dwight: Then what happened? 100 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,578 Baldric: Our castle came under siege. 101 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,180 Gretta: All of my royal guards fled. 102 00:04:07,181 --> 00:04:08,114 Baldric: Cowards. 103 00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,449 Gretta: Baldric cast the champion spell. 104 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,784 Baldric: And we all fell asleep for a thousand years. 105 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,653 Gretta: Then you fell on me and you kissed me. 106 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:14,721 - On accident. 107 00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:17,190 - All who were under the champion spell awakened. 108 00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:18,391 Gretta: We moved into the village. 109 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:20,360 Dwight: Yeah, all right, I think we're all up to speed now. 110 00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:22,061 Baldric: I don't find any of that unsettling. 111 00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:23,930 Dwight: I find pretty much all of that unsettling. 112 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,431 Baldric: How did Wenzo Thief come to be wearing 113 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,467 a Quiet Friar's robe? 114 00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:28,167 Dwight: A what? 115 00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:29,802 Baldric: A Quiet Friar's robe. 116 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:32,305 Dwight: I'm sorry those words don't mean anything. 117 00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:34,073 Gretta: The robe that Wenzo Thief was wearing 118 00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:36,509 that made him invincible to all of our weapons. 119 00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,678 They are worn only by the Quiet Friars. 120 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:42,382 Dwight: And who are the Quiet Friars? 121 00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:43,549 Baldric: Finally! 122 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:49,822 Finally, ah, finally we have arrived. 123 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,791 Dwight: Oh. Nice. 124 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,760 Here we are. 125 00:04:53,761 --> 00:05:01,267 - Insplinkt hatvandoon inyorwegonda! 126 00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:03,302 [magical noise] 127 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,506 [noise intensifies] 128 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:07,974 Ha, ha, ha. 129 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:13,680 Your Highness, Sir Dwight, welcome to the Quiet Friary. 130 00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:22,488 Ha, ha. 131 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,525 - 'Kay. 132 00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:33,900 [bagpipe-like music plays] 133 00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:35,535 Dwight: What is this place? 134 00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:37,403 Gretta: The home of the Quiet Friars. 135 00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:39,939 Dwight: And who are the Quiet Friars? 136 00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:48,014 Ah! 137 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,415 - Friar Siggy! 138 00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:56,923 [Baldric laughing] 139 00:05:56,924 --> 00:06:03,096 Baldric translating: Look at you, all grown up. 140 00:06:03,097 --> 00:06:05,298 Who is this? 141 00:06:05,299 --> 00:06:08,234 - Allow me to present Sir Dwight, 142 00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,269 my champion. 143 00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:15,708 Baldric translating: This gaping codfish? 144 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,677 - The very same. 145 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:23,015 Baldric translating: This twitchy, little muskrat. 146 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,350 - Does anyone mind if we skip this part? 147 00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:25,151 - Well, he... 148 00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,720 - We need your help Friar Siggy. 149 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,156 Baldric translating: What danger do you flee? 150 00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,591 Trolls? 151 00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:34,761 Fairies? 152 00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:37,163 Ah, brain-eating cannibals? 153 00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:37,964 - What? 154 00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:39,265 Gretta: No danger. 155 00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:45,905 We come seeking answers. 156 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:50,209 - [clears throat] Gretta, just to be clear, 157 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,578 the friars are quiet because... 158 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,614 - They have taken a vow of silence. 159 00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,415 - Well, yeah, but... 160 00:06:56,416 --> 00:07:02,054 Baldric: [clears his throat] Most reverent friars, 161 00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:08,261 our hearts leap with joy to see you all again. 162 00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:12,665 How fondly we remember the months we spent among you, 163 00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:15,835 hiding from the rampaging draugar. 164 00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:18,538 When you guarded us with your impenetrable walls 165 00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:24,610 and shielded us with your invincible robes. 166 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:31,384 We now come with a new fear in our hearts. 167 00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:32,585 Tell us, 168 00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:37,490 has one of your Quiet Friar robes recently gone missing? 169 00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:47,200 - Did you see the thief who stole it? 170 00:07:47,201 --> 00:07:54,907 [frantic scribbling] 171 00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:55,741 Gretta: That's him! 172 00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:56,742 Wenzo Thief. 173 00:07:56,743 --> 00:08:03,683 - Expertly drawn Friar Frody. 174 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:06,886 Gretta: Is that the thief that stole the invincible robe? 175 00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:12,725 Baldric: Can you tell us what happened? 176 00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:13,426 Oh. 177 00:08:13,427 --> 00:08:14,927 Gretta: Oh dear. 178 00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:17,797 [joints cracking] 179 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:20,366 Baldric: Yes, apparently they're still as competitive as ever, 180 00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,234 I can see. 181 00:08:21,235 --> 00:08:22,435 Dwight: Oh, I'm on a team? 182 00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:25,204 Okay. 183 00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:30,176 Baldric: All right, he's just walking along. 184 00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:31,811 Dwight: You're drawing, 185 00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:32,778 no, that's what you're doing, 186 00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:33,813 you're um, 187 00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,248 those are squiggles, 188 00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:38,117 um, you were in the forest. 189 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:38,784 You were in the forest. 190 00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,987 Baldric: Forest, good one. 191 00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:43,656 All right, and you're... 192 00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:44,557 - [stammering] 193 00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:45,892 Baldric: And you're picking something, 194 00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:46,926 getting crops... 195 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,060 - He's gathering. 196 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:48,828 Baldric: Ah! 197 00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:49,629 Gathering, gathering. 198 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:50,329 What are you gathering... 199 00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,030 You're gathering... 200 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:51,664 Gretta: Gathering... 201 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:54,066 Baldric: Gathering... 202 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:54,634 Oh! Poop! 203 00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:57,069 - Baguettes? 204 00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:57,803 - Sticks! 205 00:08:57,804 --> 00:08:58,671 Gathering sticks! 206 00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:01,073 Baldric: Oh yes, I see that now. 207 00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:03,576 Oh, he's standing because he has-- 208 00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:04,343 he's lost weight. 209 00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:05,077 Gretta: A man! 210 00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,446 - It was a guy, uh, a person. 211 00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:07,880 No. 212 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,081 Oh! Wenzo Thief! 213 00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:09,649 Baldric and Gretta: Oh, oh! 214 00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:10,249 Baldric: Of course, yes. 215 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:11,684 Oh, and he fell down, 216 00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:12,451 he's on his knees, 217 00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:13,386 he's having a heart attack. 218 00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:14,954 Dwight: Oh no, he was a-- 219 00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:16,055 Gretta: Begging for help! 220 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:16,956 He was begging for help. 221 00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:18,457 - Oh. Yeah. 222 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,126 Um, he was, 223 00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:23,095 he was doing yoga, squats, 224 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:24,330 he's working out. 225 00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:25,965 Oh, no, he was running. 226 00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:26,666 Baldric: A monster. 227 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:27,867 - Someone was chasing him! 228 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,068 Baldric: Oh, yes, yes. 229 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:29,769 Dwight: Someone's chasing him. 230 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,304 Baldric: Someone's after him! 231 00:09:31,305 --> 00:09:31,971 Gretta: Toy soldier. 232 00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:32,972 Baldric: Chased by who? 233 00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:35,374 Someone with a strap on their shoulder. 234 00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:36,475 Dwight: Uh, uh, Tin Man! 235 00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:37,576 Baldric: Marching back and forth-- 236 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,844 The royal guard, the royal guard, 237 00:09:38,845 --> 00:09:39,779 the royal guard! 238 00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:42,949 Baldric and Gretta: [rejoicing] 239 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:45,284 Gretta: He said he had stolen nothing from the castle. 240 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,420 Baldric: So you gave him sanctuary here, 241 00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:49,322 in the Quiet Friary. 242 00:09:49,323 --> 00:09:52,024 And everything was quiet for many days. 243 00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:54,093 Dwight: The royal guards couldn't find Wenzo Thief 244 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,562 so they gave up and went home. 245 00:09:56,563 --> 00:10:00,933 Gretta: And that's when Wenzo Thief showed his true colors. 246 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:04,036 - He turned into a blob monster! 247 00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:05,438 It's a-- It's a blob monster. 248 00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:06,339 Baldric: Nope, nope, nope. 249 00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:06,939 No, no, no. 250 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:07,740 He took it, 251 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:08,541 he took something. 252 00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:09,942 He took something. 253 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,243 Gretta: [gasps] 254 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,279 A Quiet Friar's robe! 255 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,080 Baldric: Yes, yes! 256 00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:15,014 Gretta: Yes! 257 00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:15,715 Baldric and Gretta: [laugh] 258 00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:16,282 Baldric: Good one. 259 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,818 Ha, ha, ha, ha. 260 00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,052 - Sorry. 261 00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,587 [pen clatters to floor] 262 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:22,688 - [clears throat] 263 00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:24,724 But why? 264 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,859 Gretta: Who wouldn't want a robe of invincibility? 265 00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,828 - Oh, when you put it like that. 266 00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:30,663 Baldric: The more troubling question is this, 267 00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:33,432 why is Wenzo Thief come back now? 268 00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:34,767 - You said he was looking for something 269 00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:35,968 in your house. 270 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:36,936 Baldric: Mm. 271 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,170 - Probably the same thing he was looking for 272 00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:39,472 when he broke into your castle. 273 00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,573 - But what? 274 00:10:40,574 --> 00:10:44,910 Baldric: Well, whatever it is, he hasn't found it. 275 00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:46,379 Which means... 276 00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,147 Gretta: He'll be back. 277 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,516 Dwight: Come here! 278 00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,051 You guys are the best. 279 00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:54,487 Let's do this again soon, okay? 280 00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:57,156 Baldric translating: The Quiet Friar's robe 281 00:10:57,157 --> 00:11:00,926 is invincible against all weapons 282 00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:05,464 except the shears used to cut it 283 00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:10,836 and the needle used to stitch it. 284 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,805 Take these weapons, 285 00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:17,943 and use them to defeat Wenzo Thief. 286 00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:18,944 Gretta: We shall. 287 00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:20,079 And you have my word, 288 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,516 we will return to you your Quiet Friar's robe. 289 00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:27,453 Dwight: Everybody, jazz hands! 290 00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:30,423 [fork scrapes on plate] 291 00:11:30,424 --> 00:11:32,858 Dwight: Are you sure Mr. Thief is watching us? 292 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,827 Baldric: Without doubt. 293 00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:38,497 He bides his time and awaits his chance to strike. 294 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,099 Gretta: A chance we will give him tonight. 295 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,101 - Mm. 296 00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:45,404 Dwight: Guys, what's with all the hay bales? 297 00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:46,272 Gretta: Insulation. 298 00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:47,940 Baldric: The nights are getting chilly. 299 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,409 - You know you can just turn the thermostat up, right? 300 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:51,811 [knocking] 301 00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:58,451 Baldric: Ah, finally. 302 00:11:58,452 --> 00:11:59,685 - Baldric! 303 00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:01,554 If you think I'm at your beck and call, then you are not-- 304 00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,689 - AH, DO COME IN, 305 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,858 WE'RE ALMOST READY TO GO TO THE MOVIE SPECTACLE 306 00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:08,694 TO BE ENTERTAINED FOR 90 MINUTES. 307 00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:09,395 [door slams] 308 00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:10,796 Hexela: Movie spectacle? 309 00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:14,433 Baldric: [angrily] What took you so long, madame? 310 00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:17,503 Hexela: [angrily] Would you care to rephrase yourself, sir! 311 00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:18,671 Dwight: Thanks for coming. 312 00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:21,907 We know you're a busy witch lady. 313 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,642 Hexela: [sweetly] Never too busy to help a friend, 314 00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:25,845 even if that friend is an ungrateful oaf 315 00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,480 with the manners of a warthog. 316 00:12:27,481 --> 00:12:28,247 Baldric: [growls] 317 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:28,948 Hexela: [hisses] 318 00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,649 - We need your help. 319 00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:31,851 - You so often do-- 320 00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:33,185 - To set a trap for a thief. 321 00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:33,886 - What thief? 322 00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:34,653 - Wenzo Thief. 323 00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:35,654 - That's actually his name. 324 00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,623 - Ah, yes, I know the Thiefs. 325 00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:40,259 They're thiefs, every one of them. 326 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,527 Baldric: This Thief wants to steal something 327 00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:42,761 from this house. 328 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:43,896 Hexela: What? 329 00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:44,697 Gretta: Well, that is what we hope to learn tonight. 330 00:12:44,698 --> 00:12:45,798 Baldric: Did you bring the tent? 331 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:46,365 - The tent? 332 00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:47,399 - I did, 333 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,101 but I'm a working witch with bills to pay, 334 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,003 and nails to keep pretty. 335 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,404 Baldric: What's your price? 336 00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:59,912 [suspenseful music] 337 00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:02,114 - Rub this turtle. 338 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,149 - Uh. 339 00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:03,682 Baldric: That's it? 340 00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:04,116 Hexela: Yes. 341 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:04,683 - Why? 342 00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:06,218 Hexela: Why not? 343 00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:15,261 Speak some flattering words to it. 344 00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:16,195 - Pardon? 345 00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:17,396 - The turtle. 346 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:21,600 Butter him up! 347 00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:25,337 - Aren't you a handsome little guy. 348 00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:30,643 Gretta: And of such regal bearing. 349 00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:36,315 Baldric: What a pleasantly smooth shell you have. 350 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,616 Hexela: [sniffs] 351 00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:41,487 That'll do. 352 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,623 There. 353 00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:47,526 I shudder to think what you'd do without me... 354 00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:50,196 Baldric. 355 00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:52,965 - I'm still a little fuzzy on the plan. 356 00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:55,968 Gretta: We go to the movies. 357 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,770 [door opens] 358 00:13:57,771 --> 00:14:00,306 - LET US DEPART, YOUR HIGHNESS. 359 00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:03,209 Gretta: LEAD ON MY TRUSTY MAGICIAN, 360 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:06,712 QUICKLY LEST WE MISS THE PREVIEWS. 361 00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:19,225 Hexela: AND I SHALL BUY THE CORN THAT POPS. 362 00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:20,826 Dwight: So if we're not going to the movies, 363 00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:24,029 then what's the plan? 364 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,164 Baldric: Make haste. 365 00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:30,202 Dwight: Ah. 366 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,704 - Oh. 367 00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:37,443 Dwight: Uh, [laughs] 368 00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:39,144 That is so freaky cool. 369 00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:41,080 [door handle jiggles] 370 00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:43,616 Gretta: Hide. 371 00:14:43,617 --> 00:14:58,564 Dwight: [grunt] 372 00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:03,836 Dwight: [grunt] 373 00:15:03,837 --> 00:15:04,737 - Ya, cha, cha. 374 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:06,805 Ya, cha, cha. 375 00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:09,008 Ya, cha, ya, cha, 376 00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:09,908 CHA! 377 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,211 Baldric: Hold! 378 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,480 Gretta: Sir Dwight, catch! 379 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:15,347 - Ow! 380 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:18,450 [fighting grunts] 381 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:22,488 Gretta: Ha! 382 00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:25,157 - Wenzo Thief. 383 00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,525 - Hello. 384 00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:29,395 Didn't think anyone was home. 385 00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:30,829 Gretta: You have been pinned to the table 386 00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:32,531 by invincible shears. 387 00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:33,999 - Oh, is that what those are. 388 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:37,036 Gretta: Yield villain, or Sir Dwight will... 389 00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:41,073 do you bodily injury with his invincible needle. 390 00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:42,574 Dwight: Um. 391 00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:47,079 Gretta. 392 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,581 I lost the invincible needle. 393 00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:50,015 Gretta: What? 394 00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:52,084 Where? 395 00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:54,687 Dwight: Literally in a haystack. 396 00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:57,656 - A Quiet Friar's robe. 397 00:15:57,657 --> 00:16:01,160 Baldric: Stolen by this shameless thief. 398 00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:03,962 And after they gave you sanctuary! 399 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,899 - I was thinking about giving it back. 400 00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,033 - Oh, oh. 401 00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:10,669 Wenzo: I just needed it to finish this one job. 402 00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:13,405 Gretta: Well, you have failed Wenzo Thief. 403 00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,341 Baldric: Hand over your booty. 404 00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:16,208 Dwight: His what? 405 00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:17,509 - Happy to oblige. 406 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:18,310 - You are? 407 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,612 - I'm a thief, not a martyr. 408 00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:29,288 [ominous music] 409 00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:30,189 - What is it? 410 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:35,594 - A tovenaar relic. 411 00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:36,495 Dwight: Ha! 412 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:37,896 Found it! 413 00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:39,498 All right Mr. Thief, 414 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,101 your invincible robes got nothin' on my invincible needle 415 00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:44,503 so start talking. 416 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,639 - Yes, I would be all too pleased. 417 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,575 Do you think you could unpin me from this table? 418 00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:50,943 All: No. 419 00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:52,578 - And what a comfortable table it is. 420 00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:54,113 - Where did you get this? 421 00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:57,049 - I am a Thief from a long line of Thiefs. 422 00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,984 My father, Bozo Thief, was hired 423 00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:00,786 to break into Your Highness's castle 424 00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,187 and steal that relic. 425 00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:02,955 - Your father? 426 00:17:02,956 --> 00:17:03,756 - Bozo? 427 00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:05,858 - Alas, he was hanged as a thief 428 00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:07,259 before he could do the job. 429 00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,160 - That's terrible. 430 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:10,229 - Such is the fate of we thieves. 431 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:13,866 My father, my grandfather, his second wife, her stepmum, 432 00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,901 all hanged from the same yew tree. 433 00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:18,270 They call it Thief Tree. 434 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,839 I'll most likely swing from it myself one day. 435 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:21,874 - [murmuring assent] 436 00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:25,444 Dwight: Or you could just stop stealing stuff. 437 00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:28,147 Hexela: Bozo Thief was hanged from Thief Tree. 438 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,481 - Like all good Thiefs. 439 00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:30,549 - Mm. 440 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,185 Then why were you the one to steal this relic? 441 00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,087 Wenzo: Well, the client paid in advance 442 00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:37,923 and we had already drunk away the money, 443 00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:40,225 so the job fell to me. 444 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:43,328 [labored breathing] 445 00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:47,433 I scaled the castle walls like a spider. 446 00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:48,867 And entered the castle 447 00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:49,435 [grunting] 448 00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:51,503 with the grace of a cat. 449 00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:52,471 [yells] 450 00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:53,605 [crashing] 451 00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:55,674 My instructions were to find a secret chamber 452 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,843 deep in the bowels of the castle. 453 00:17:57,844 --> 00:17:59,244 I hid by day, 454 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,079 and I searched the castle by night, 455 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,748 with the stealth of a, 456 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,216 of a, 457 00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:07,219 what's a real stealthy animal only comes out at night? 458 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:07,786 - A vampire. 459 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:08,520 Gretta: A wolf? 460 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:09,021 Baldric: An owl? 461 00:18:09,022 --> 00:18:09,721 Dwight: A racoon? 462 00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:10,722 - A lynx. 463 00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:11,757 All: Ah.. 464 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:12,858 Dwight: Yeah, that's right. 465 00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:14,893 Wenzo: So, I'm stalking around like a lynx, right, 466 00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:19,731 until I found the secret chamber. 467 00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,800 I knew where to look, 468 00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:24,903 but though my flight was light-footed as a fox, 469 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,872 the royal guards discovered me. 470 00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,440 [heavy breathing] 471 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,676 No, no, no, no. 472 00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:32,444 I knew if I was found with the relic, I would-- 473 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,879 Gretta: Swing from Thief Tree? 474 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,080 Wenzo: Yes. 475 00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:39,084 I'm not quite ready for that, so I hid my booty instead. 476 00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:40,118 - Your what? 477 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,553 Baldric: You climbed to the window and leapt-- 478 00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:42,588 - Like a tiger. 479 00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,857 - Out of the castle to escape into the woods. 480 00:18:44,858 --> 00:18:45,891 - Then what happened? 481 00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:48,093 - The Quiet Friars hid me from the royal guards. 482 00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:50,629 - You stole a Quiet Friar's robe. 483 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:51,463 - Anyway, 484 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:52,965 I was walking back to the castle 485 00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:55,167 when I unaccountably and uncontrollably 486 00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:56,902 fell sound asleep. 487 00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,604 - The champion spell. 488 00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:00,939 Wenzo: When I awoke, your castle was in ruins. 489 00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:03,642 After months of tracking you like a panther, 490 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,377 I finally found you here. 491 00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,246 Baldric: And you broke in last night. 492 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:08,847 - Yes, and then you recognized me. 493 00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:10,182 Gretta: And we went to the Quiet Friary 494 00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:12,150 and got the invincible shears and needle. 495 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,485 - And then Baldric called me and asked me 496 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:14,453 to bring my tent. 497 00:19:14,454 --> 00:19:15,153 Gretta: We set our trap. 498 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,021 Baldric: You broke in again. 499 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,689 - Guys, we were all here for this part. 500 00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:18,390 Baldric and Gretta: Oh. 501 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:19,391 - So... 502 00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:21,560 now you know all. 503 00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:26,331 - Not quite, Mr. Thief. 504 00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:29,568 Who hired you to steal this relic? 505 00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:30,335 - Oh. 506 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,104 That I cannot say, m'lady. 507 00:19:32,105 --> 00:19:34,172 Dwight: 'Cause you don't know? 508 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,074 - Because he will cut out my tongue 509 00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:37,509 and feed it to the ravens. 510 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,111 - [disgusted noise] 511 00:19:39,112 --> 00:19:40,212 - Oh, okay. 512 00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:42,347 Well, nobody wants that. 513 00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,115 - Uh-uh. 514 00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:44,816 Here's what I propose. 515 00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:46,952 You unfasten me from this table 516 00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:48,820 and then I will just skulk off into the night like a-- 517 00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:49,421 - Skunk! 518 00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:50,155 - Uh, badger, 519 00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:51,089 I was gonna say badger. 520 00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:52,124 Baldric: No, I think skunk. 521 00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:55,093 - Look, you can keep the little trinket, 522 00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:55,994 I won't say anything, 523 00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:57,129 you won't say anything, 524 00:19:57,130 --> 00:19:59,197 it'll be our little secret. 525 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:02,000 - And what of your client? 526 00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:04,069 - My problem, not yours. 527 00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:09,007 - Mm. 528 00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:11,176 - Well, I'm off. 529 00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:12,444 Pockets to pick. 530 00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,947 Houses to burgle. 531 00:20:14,948 --> 00:20:15,747 Dwight: You know, man, 532 00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:20,519 you're a smart guy with a skillset. 533 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:21,853 Maybe you should think about getting out 534 00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,255 of the thief business. 535 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:24,423 You know, 536 00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:26,491 maybe then you wouldn't have to swing from Thief Tree. 537 00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:27,426 Wenzo: [laughs briefly] 538 00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:30,462 But I'm Wenzo Thief. 539 00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:32,631 Dwight: Well, maybe you could be Wenzo Architect, 540 00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:36,802 or Wenzo Grocery Checker, Wenzo Attorney-at-Law. 541 00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:39,237 You got choices, man. 542 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,840 Wenzo: I'm Wenzo Thief. 543 00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:44,409 - Just something to think about. 544 00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:50,315 Wenzo: And now I slip softly into the night, like a bat. 545 00:20:50,316 --> 00:20:52,217 [crash] 546 00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:53,051 Sorry. 547 00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:55,153 [door opens and shuts] 548 00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:59,157 Gretta: Baldric, please return this to the Quiet Friary. 549 00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:01,860 Baldric: Of course, Highness. 550 00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:06,531 Gretta: [sighs] And what of this? 551 00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:08,000 Hexela: I know a safe place. 552 00:21:08,001 --> 00:21:09,868 [ominous music] 553 00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:15,674 ♪♪ 554 00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:21,246 ♪♪ 555 00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:35,360 ♪♪ 556 00:21:35,361 --> 00:21:38,130 [key turns] 557 00:21:45,337 --> 00:21:49,274 [key locks] 558 00:21:56,014 --> 00:21:59,518 Hexela: [exhales] 559 00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:04,256 Baldric: You put yourself at terrible risk, Hexela. 560 00:22:04,257 --> 00:22:07,192 Surely we can find another place to-- 561 00:22:07,193 --> 00:22:10,996 Hexela: Secure a tovenaar relic? 562 00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:18,470 This one and all the others must never see the light of day. 563 00:22:23,108 --> 00:22:26,144 - Wenzo Schoolmarm, no, 564 00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:27,446 Wenzo Wheat-Farmer? 565 00:22:27,447 --> 00:22:28,780 Hmm, no. 566 00:22:28,781 --> 00:22:31,883 Wenzo Canine-Companion, yes, 567 00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:34,920 though I think they call it doggy daycare now. 568 00:22:34,921 --> 00:22:40,859 [forest sounds] 569 00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,327 - Uh. 570 00:22:42,328 --> 00:22:44,129 Sir Aldred of Westfold. 571 00:22:44,130 --> 00:22:45,897 Well met. 572 00:22:45,898 --> 00:22:49,234 - Wenzo Thief, 573 00:22:49,235 --> 00:22:53,438 I paid you handsomely for a simple burglary. 574 00:22:53,439 --> 00:22:55,440 Wenzo: I found the castle and the secret chamber 575 00:22:55,441 --> 00:22:58,510 and the stone box, just as you instructed. 576 00:22:58,511 --> 00:23:01,813 Sir Aldred: I've been there myself and found nothing. 577 00:23:01,814 --> 00:23:03,682 Please tell me it was you that stole the relic 578 00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:06,184 before I could. 579 00:23:06,185 --> 00:23:08,286 Wenzo: Alas, no, 580 00:23:08,287 --> 00:23:15,260 when I opened the crypt it was empty. 581 00:23:15,261 --> 00:23:16,862 Sir Aldred: As I feared. 582 00:23:16,863 --> 00:23:19,898 The relic is long gone. 583 00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:21,800 Wenzo: Awfully disappointing. 584 00:23:21,801 --> 00:23:23,535 Sir Aldred: But I am optimistic. 585 00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:24,536 Wenzo: You are? 586 00:23:24,537 --> 00:23:26,538 Sir Aldred: To a fault. 587 00:23:26,539 --> 00:23:32,477 This relic is lost to me, but my hopes remain high, 588 00:23:32,478 --> 00:23:34,946 for there are others. 589 00:23:34,947 --> 00:23:45,924 [loud construction] 590 00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:50,061 [ominous music] 591 00:23:50,062 --> 00:24:05,010 ♪♪ 592 00:24:05,011 --> 00:24:10,348 ♪♪ 593 00:24:10,349 --> 00:24:22,460 [creaking] 594 00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:25,530 Man: [exhales] 595 00:24:25,531 --> 00:24:34,039 [high-pitched ringing] 596 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:37,843 [whimpering] 597 00:24:37,844 --> 00:24:38,844 ♪♪ 39421

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