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1
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Dwight: Previously
on Dwight in Shining Armor.
2
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- I need something.
3
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It belongs to a friend of mine
4
00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:06,639
and I think
it might have ended up here
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00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:07,707
in this secret chamber.
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00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:08,341
- What is it?
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- It's hard to describe,
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but it's in a stone box
with this emblem on it.
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[leaves scraping]
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00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:17,217
- There you go.
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[grating stone]
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- Empty!
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00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:23,556
- Unhand my scepter, you thief.
14
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:26,326
[magical swirling wind]
15
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:28,528
Don't!
16
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,397
[blorp]
17
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:31,398
- How long do we have?
18
00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:33,099
Baldric: Difficult to say,
Your Highness.
19
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:35,068
Chlodwig: Weeks? Days?
20
00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:36,469
Hexela: More likely hours.
21
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:37,337
Dwight: Before what?
22
00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:42,575
Gretta: Before Sir Aldred
is back.
23
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:45,578
[blub, blub]
24
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:54,454
[suspenseful music]
25
00:00:54,455 --> 00:01:00,093
[knob clatters to the floor]
26
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:05,064
[drawers opening
and shutting]
27
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:10,637
[Bop-It noises]
28
00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:15,508
- Sh! Sh!
29
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:18,011
[loud crash]
30
00:01:18,012 --> 00:01:19,279
Wenzo: Silence!
31
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:20,980
[banging]
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00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:29,088
[Bop-It continues briefly
then stops]
33
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:43,803
[rummaging]
34
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:44,404
Baldric: HALT!
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Thief!
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[yell]
37
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[fighting]
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[thud]
39
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,544
Baldric: Ha, ha, ha.
40
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:53,446
[gasping]
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Baldric: You!
42
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[thwap]
43
00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:58,351
Baldric: [yells]
44
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[electric crash]
45
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:03,022
Gretta: [convulsive noises]
46
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:07,927
[grunts]
47
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:09,395
Did you see that?
48
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,731
- Most strange.
49
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:13,233
Quickly.
50
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We leave at first light.
51
00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:17,937
Gretta: Whither?
52
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:20,006
- The woods.
53
00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:21,541
[theme music]
54
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,076
Dwight: Okay, so about
a thousand years ago,
55
00:02:23,077 --> 00:02:25,044
there was this princess, Gretta.
56
00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:26,246
And she was in big trouble
57
00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:30,783
because she had lots of enemies
and not a lot of friends.
58
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:34,521
So her court magician,
Baldric cast the champion spell.
59
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:35,755
It put everyone in the woods
to sleep
60
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:37,857
until a champion would come
break the spell with his kiss
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00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:40,026
and deal with
Gretta's big, scary enemies.
62
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:42,295
That guy never showed up.
63
00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:43,029
Ah!
64
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:43,997
Instead...
65
00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:44,764
[kissing noise]
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00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:45,565
they got me.
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00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:46,966
♪♪
68
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,001
Ah!
69
00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:52,171
♪♪
70
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:52,939
Ow!
71
00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:55,875
♪♪
72
00:02:55,876 --> 00:03:09,088
♪♪
73
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:10,590
Dwight: Guys we should
just call the police
74
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:13,293
or maybe contact
the neighborhood watch,
75
00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,260
whoever broke
into your house.
76
00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:16,462
Gretta: We know who broke
into our house.
77
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:17,430
Dwight: You do?
78
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,532
Baldric: His name
is Wenzo Thief.
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00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,968
Gretta: He comes
from a long line of cut-purses,
80
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,836
pickpockets, and burglars.
81
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:24,871
Dwight: Well,
with a last name like Thief,
82
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,272
what more can you really do?
83
00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:27,440
Baldric: The last time
I saw Wenzo Thief,
84
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:28,841
he was leaping
from the window
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00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,743
of the great hall.
86
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,645
It was on a night
of a new moon.
87
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:33,947
Dark as pitch,
88
00:03:33,948 --> 00:03:39,519
just days before our castle
came under siege.
89
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,921
Wenzo Thief broke
into the castle,
90
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:45,391
but he was discovered
by the royal guards.
91
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,560
We chased him into
the great hall where he jumped
92
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:51,731
from the window and escaped
into the woods.
93
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,499
I personally conducted
an inventory
94
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:56,135
of the castle's valuables
but nothing was missing.
95
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:58,271
Dwight: So, the guy breaks
into your castle,
96
00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,873
runs from the royal guards,
throws himself out of a window
97
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:01,874
and he doesn't take anything?
98
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,009
Gretta: So it appears.
99
00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,010
Dwight: Then what happened?
100
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,578
Baldric: Our castle came
under siege.
101
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,180
Gretta: All
of my royal guards fled.
102
00:04:07,181 --> 00:04:08,114
Baldric: Cowards.
103
00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,449
Gretta: Baldric cast
the champion spell.
104
00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,784
Baldric: And we all fell asleep
for a thousand years.
105
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,653
Gretta: Then you fell on me
and you kissed me.
106
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:14,721
- On accident.
107
00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:17,190
- All who were under
the champion spell awakened.
108
00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:18,391
Gretta: We moved
into the village.
109
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:20,360
Dwight: Yeah, all right, I think
we're all up to speed now.
110
00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:22,061
Baldric: I don't find any
of that unsettling.
111
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:23,930
Dwight: I find pretty much
all of that unsettling.
112
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,431
Baldric: How did Wenzo Thief
come to be wearing
113
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,467
a Quiet Friar's robe?
114
00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:28,167
Dwight: A what?
115
00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:29,802
Baldric: A Quiet Friar's robe.
116
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:32,305
Dwight: I'm sorry those words
don't mean anything.
117
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:34,073
Gretta: The robe
that Wenzo Thief was wearing
118
00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:36,509
that made him invincible
to all of our weapons.
119
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,678
They are worn only
by the Quiet Friars.
120
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:42,382
Dwight: And who are
the Quiet Friars?
121
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:43,549
Baldric: Finally!
122
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:49,822
Finally, ah, finally
we have arrived.
123
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,791
Dwight: Oh. Nice.
124
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,760
Here we are.
125
00:04:53,761 --> 00:05:01,267
- Insplinkt hatvandoon
inyorwegonda!
126
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:03,302
[magical noise]
127
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,506
[noise intensifies]
128
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:07,974
Ha, ha, ha.
129
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:13,680
Your Highness, Sir Dwight,
welcome to the Quiet Friary.
130
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:22,488
Ha, ha.
131
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,525
- 'Kay.
132
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:33,900
[bagpipe-like music plays]
133
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:35,535
Dwight: What is this place?
134
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:37,403
Gretta: The home
of the Quiet Friars.
135
00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:39,939
Dwight: And who are
the Quiet Friars?
136
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:48,014
Ah!
137
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,415
- Friar Siggy!
138
00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:56,923
[Baldric laughing]
139
00:05:56,924 --> 00:06:03,096
Baldric translating:
Look at you, all grown up.
140
00:06:03,097 --> 00:06:05,298
Who is this?
141
00:06:05,299 --> 00:06:08,234
- Allow me to present
Sir Dwight,
142
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,269
my champion.
143
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:15,708
Baldric translating:
This gaping codfish?
144
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,677
- The very same.
145
00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:23,015
Baldric translating:
This twitchy, little muskrat.
146
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,350
- Does anyone mind
if we skip this part?
147
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:25,151
- Well, he...
148
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,720
- We need your help
Friar Siggy.
149
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,156
Baldric translating:
What danger do you flee?
150
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,591
Trolls?
151
00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:34,761
Fairies?
152
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:37,163
Ah, brain-eating cannibals?
153
00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:37,964
- What?
154
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:39,265
Gretta: No danger.
155
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:45,905
We come seeking answers.
156
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:50,209
- [clears throat]
Gretta, just to be clear,
157
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,578
the friars are quiet
because...
158
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,614
- They have taken a vow
of silence.
159
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,415
- Well, yeah, but...
160
00:06:56,416 --> 00:07:02,054
Baldric: [clears his throat]
Most reverent friars,
161
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:08,261
our hearts leap with joy
to see you all again.
162
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:12,665
How fondly we remember the
months we spent among you,
163
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:15,835
hiding
from the rampaging draugar.
164
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:18,538
When you guarded us
with your impenetrable walls
165
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:24,610
and shielded us
with your invincible robes.
166
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:31,384
We now come with a new fear
in our hearts.
167
00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:32,585
Tell us,
168
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:37,490
has one of your Quiet Friar
robes recently gone missing?
169
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:47,200
- Did you see the thief
who stole it?
170
00:07:47,201 --> 00:07:54,907
[frantic scribbling]
171
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:55,741
Gretta: That's him!
172
00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:56,742
Wenzo Thief.
173
00:07:56,743 --> 00:08:03,683
- Expertly drawn
Friar Frody.
174
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:06,886
Gretta: Is that the thief
that stole the invincible robe?
175
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:12,725
Baldric: Can you tell us
what happened?
176
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:13,426
Oh.
177
00:08:13,427 --> 00:08:14,927
Gretta: Oh dear.
178
00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:17,797
[joints cracking]
179
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:20,366
Baldric: Yes, apparently they're
still as competitive as ever,
180
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,234
I can see.
181
00:08:21,235 --> 00:08:22,435
Dwight: Oh, I'm on a team?
182
00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:25,204
Okay.
183
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:30,176
Baldric: All right,
he's just walking along.
184
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:31,811
Dwight: You're drawing,
185
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:32,778
no, that's what you're doing,
186
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:33,813
you're um,
187
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,248
those are squiggles,
188
00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:38,117
um, you were in the forest.
189
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:38,784
You were in the forest.
190
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,987
Baldric: Forest, good one.
191
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:43,656
All right, and you're...
192
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:44,557
- [stammering]
193
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:45,892
Baldric: And
you're picking something,
194
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:46,926
getting crops...
195
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,060
- He's gathering.
196
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:48,828
Baldric: Ah!
197
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:49,629
Gathering, gathering.
198
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:50,329
What are you gathering...
199
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,030
You're gathering...
200
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:51,664
Gretta: Gathering...
201
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:54,066
Baldric: Gathering...
202
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:54,634
Oh! Poop!
203
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:57,069
- Baguettes?
204
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:57,803
- Sticks!
205
00:08:57,804 --> 00:08:58,671
Gathering sticks!
206
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:01,073
Baldric: Oh yes, I see that now.
207
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:03,576
Oh, he's standing
because he has--
208
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:04,343
he's lost weight.
209
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:05,077
Gretta: A man!
210
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,446
- It was a guy,
uh, a person.
211
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:07,880
No.
212
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,081
Oh! Wenzo Thief!
213
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:09,649
Baldric and Gretta: Oh, oh!
214
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:10,249
Baldric: Of course, yes.
215
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:11,684
Oh, and he fell down,
216
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:12,451
he's on his knees,
217
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:13,386
he's having a heart attack.
218
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:14,954
Dwight: Oh no, he was a--
219
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:16,055
Gretta: Begging for help!
220
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:16,956
He was begging for help.
221
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:18,457
- Oh. Yeah.
222
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,126
Um, he was,
223
00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:23,095
he was doing yoga, squats,
224
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:24,330
he's working out.
225
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:25,965
Oh, no, he was running.
226
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:26,666
Baldric: A monster.
227
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:27,867
- Someone was chasing him!
228
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,068
Baldric: Oh, yes, yes.
229
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:29,769
Dwight: Someone's chasing him.
230
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,304
Baldric: Someone's after him!
231
00:09:31,305 --> 00:09:31,971
Gretta: Toy soldier.
232
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:32,972
Baldric: Chased by who?
233
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:35,374
Someone with a strap
on their shoulder.
234
00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:36,475
Dwight: Uh, uh, Tin Man!
235
00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:37,576
Baldric: Marching back
and forth--
236
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,844
The royal guard,
the royal guard,
237
00:09:38,845 --> 00:09:39,779
the royal guard!
238
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:42,949
Baldric and Gretta: [rejoicing]
239
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:45,284
Gretta: He said he had stolen
nothing from the castle.
240
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,420
Baldric: So you gave him
sanctuary here,
241
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:49,322
in the Quiet Friary.
242
00:09:49,323 --> 00:09:52,024
And everything was quiet
for many days.
243
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:54,093
Dwight: The royal guards
couldn't find Wenzo Thief
244
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,562
so they gave up and went home.
245
00:09:56,563 --> 00:10:00,933
Gretta: And that's when Wenzo
Thief showed his true colors.
246
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:04,036
- He turned
into a blob monster!
247
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:05,438
It's a-- It's a blob monster.
248
00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:06,339
Baldric: Nope, nope, nope.
249
00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:06,939
No, no, no.
250
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:07,740
He took it,
251
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:08,541
he took something.
252
00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:09,942
He took something.
253
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,243
Gretta: [gasps]
254
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,279
A Quiet Friar's robe!
255
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,080
Baldric: Yes, yes!
256
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:15,014
Gretta: Yes!
257
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:15,715
Baldric and Gretta: [laugh]
258
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:16,282
Baldric: Good one.
259
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,818
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
260
00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,052
- Sorry.
261
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,587
[pen clatters to floor]
262
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:22,688
- [clears throat]
263
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:24,724
But why?
264
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,859
Gretta: Who wouldn't want
a robe of invincibility?
265
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,828
- Oh, when you put it like that.
266
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:30,663
Baldric: The more troubling
question is this,
267
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:33,432
why is Wenzo Thief
come back now?
268
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:34,767
- You said
he was looking for something
269
00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:35,968
in your house.
270
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:36,936
Baldric: Mm.
271
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,170
- Probably the same thing
he was looking for
272
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:39,472
when he broke into your castle.
273
00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,573
- But what?
274
00:10:40,574 --> 00:10:44,910
Baldric: Well, whatever it is,
he hasn't found it.
275
00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:46,379
Which means...
276
00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,147
Gretta: He'll be back.
277
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,516
Dwight: Come here!
278
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,051
You guys are the best.
279
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:54,487
Let's do this again soon, okay?
280
00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:57,156
Baldric translating:
The Quiet Friar's robe
281
00:10:57,157 --> 00:11:00,926
is invincible
against all weapons
282
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:05,464
except the shears used to cut it
283
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:10,836
and the needle
used to stitch it.
284
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,805
Take these weapons,
285
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:17,943
and use them
to defeat Wenzo Thief.
286
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:18,944
Gretta: We shall.
287
00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:20,079
And you have my word,
288
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,516
we will return to you
your Quiet Friar's robe.
289
00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:27,453
Dwight: Everybody, jazz hands!
290
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:30,423
[fork scrapes on plate]
291
00:11:30,424 --> 00:11:32,858
Dwight: Are you sure
Mr. Thief is watching us?
292
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,827
Baldric: Without doubt.
293
00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:38,497
He bides his time and
awaits his chance to strike.
294
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,099
Gretta: A chance
we will give him tonight.
295
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,101
- Mm.
296
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:45,404
Dwight: Guys, what's with
all the hay bales?
297
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:46,272
Gretta: Insulation.
298
00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:47,940
Baldric:
The nights are getting chilly.
299
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,409
- You know you can just
turn the thermostat up, right?
300
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:51,811
[knocking]
301
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:58,451
Baldric: Ah, finally.
302
00:11:58,452 --> 00:11:59,685
- Baldric!
303
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:01,554
If you think I'm at your beck
and call, then you are not--
304
00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,689
- AH, DO COME IN,
305
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,858
WE'RE ALMOST READY TO GO
TO THE MOVIE SPECTACLE
306
00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:08,694
TO BE ENTERTAINED
FOR 90 MINUTES.
307
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:09,395
[door slams]
308
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:10,796
Hexela: Movie spectacle?
309
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:14,433
Baldric: [angrily] What took
you so long, madame?
310
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:17,503
Hexela: [angrily] Would you
care to rephrase yourself, sir!
311
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:18,671
Dwight: Thanks for coming.
312
00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:21,907
We know
you're a busy witch lady.
313
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,642
Hexela: [sweetly] Never too busy
to help a friend,
314
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:25,845
even if that friend is
an ungrateful oaf
315
00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,480
with the manners of a warthog.
316
00:12:27,481 --> 00:12:28,247
Baldric: [growls]
317
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:28,948
Hexela: [hisses]
318
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,649
- We need your help.
319
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:31,851
- You so often do--
320
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:33,185
- To set a trap
for a thief.
321
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:33,886
- What thief?
322
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:34,653
- Wenzo Thief.
323
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:35,654
- That's actually his name.
324
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,623
- Ah, yes,
I know the Thiefs.
325
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:40,259
They're thiefs,
every one of them.
326
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,527
Baldric: This Thief wants
to steal something
327
00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:42,761
from this house.
328
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:43,896
Hexela: What?
329
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:44,697
Gretta: Well, that is what
we hope to learn tonight.
330
00:12:44,698 --> 00:12:45,798
Baldric: Did you bring
the tent?
331
00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:46,365
- The tent?
332
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:47,399
- I did,
333
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,101
but I'm a working witch
with bills to pay,
334
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,003
and nails to keep pretty.
335
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,404
Baldric: What's your price?
336
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:59,912
[suspenseful music]
337
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:02,114
- Rub this turtle.
338
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,149
- Uh.
339
00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:03,682
Baldric: That's it?
340
00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:04,116
Hexela: Yes.
341
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:04,683
- Why?
342
00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:06,218
Hexela: Why not?
343
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:15,261
Speak some flattering words
to it.
344
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:16,195
- Pardon?
345
00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:17,396
- The turtle.
346
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:21,600
Butter him up!
347
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:25,337
- Aren't you
a handsome little guy.
348
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:30,643
Gretta: And
of such regal bearing.
349
00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:36,315
Baldric: What a pleasantly
smooth shell you have.
350
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,616
Hexela: [sniffs]
351
00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:41,487
That'll do.
352
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,623
There.
353
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:47,526
I shudder to think
what you'd do without me...
354
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:50,196
Baldric.
355
00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:52,965
- I'm still a little fuzzy
on the plan.
356
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:55,968
Gretta: We go to the movies.
357
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,770
[door opens]
358
00:13:57,771 --> 00:14:00,306
- LET US DEPART,
YOUR HIGHNESS.
359
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:03,209
Gretta: LEAD ON
MY TRUSTY MAGICIAN,
360
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:06,712
QUICKLY LEST
WE MISS THE PREVIEWS.
361
00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:19,225
Hexela: AND I SHALL BUY
THE CORN THAT POPS.
362
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:20,826
Dwight: So if we're not going
to the movies,
363
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:24,029
then what's the plan?
364
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,164
Baldric: Make haste.
365
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:30,202
Dwight: Ah.
366
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,704
- Oh.
367
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:37,443
Dwight: Uh, [laughs]
368
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:39,144
That is so freaky cool.
369
00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:41,080
[door handle jiggles]
370
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:43,616
Gretta: Hide.
371
00:14:43,617 --> 00:14:58,564
Dwight: [grunt]
372
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:03,836
Dwight: [grunt]
373
00:15:03,837 --> 00:15:04,737
- Ya, cha, cha.
374
00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:06,805
Ya, cha, cha.
375
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:09,008
Ya, cha, ya, cha,
376
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:09,908
CHA!
377
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,211
Baldric: Hold!
378
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,480
Gretta: Sir Dwight, catch!
379
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:15,347
- Ow!
380
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:18,450
[fighting grunts]
381
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:22,488
Gretta: Ha!
382
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:25,157
- Wenzo Thief.
383
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,525
- Hello.
384
00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:29,395
Didn't think anyone was home.
385
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:30,829
Gretta: You have been pinned
to the table
386
00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:32,531
by invincible shears.
387
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:33,999
- Oh, is that what those are.
388
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:37,036
Gretta: Yield villain,
or Sir Dwight will...
389
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:41,073
do you bodily injury
with his invincible needle.
390
00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:42,574
Dwight: Um.
391
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:47,079
Gretta.
392
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,581
I lost the invincible needle.
393
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:50,015
Gretta: What?
394
00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:52,084
Where?
395
00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:54,687
Dwight: Literally
in a haystack.
396
00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:57,656
- A Quiet Friar's robe.
397
00:15:57,657 --> 00:16:01,160
Baldric: Stolen
by this shameless thief.
398
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:03,962
And after
they gave you sanctuary!
399
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,899
- I was thinking
about giving it back.
400
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,033
- Oh, oh.
401
00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:10,669
Wenzo: I just needed it
to finish this one job.
402
00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:13,405
Gretta: Well,
you have failed Wenzo Thief.
403
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,341
Baldric: Hand over
your booty.
404
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:16,208
Dwight: His what?
405
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:17,509
- Happy to oblige.
406
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:18,310
- You are?
407
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,612
- I'm a thief, not a martyr.
408
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:29,288
[ominous music]
409
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:30,189
- What is it?
410
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:35,594
- A tovenaar relic.
411
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:36,495
Dwight: Ha!
412
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:37,896
Found it!
413
00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:39,498
All right Mr. Thief,
414
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,101
your invincible robes got
nothin' on my invincible needle
415
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:44,503
so start talking.
416
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,639
- Yes,
I would be all too pleased.
417
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,575
Do you think you could unpin me
from this table?
418
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:50,943
All: No.
419
00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:52,578
- And what
a comfortable table it is.
420
00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:54,113
- Where did you get this?
421
00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:57,049
- I am a Thief
from a long line of Thiefs.
422
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,984
My father, Bozo Thief, was hired
423
00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:00,786
to break into
Your Highness's castle
424
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,187
and steal that relic.
425
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:02,955
- Your father?
426
00:17:02,956 --> 00:17:03,756
- Bozo?
427
00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:05,858
- Alas, he was hanged
as a thief
428
00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:07,259
before he could do the job.
429
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,160
- That's terrible.
430
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:10,229
- Such is the fate
of we thieves.
431
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:13,866
My father, my grandfather,
his second wife, her stepmum,
432
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,901
all hanged
from the same yew tree.
433
00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:18,270
They call it Thief Tree.
434
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,839
I'll most likely swing
from it myself one day.
435
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:21,874
- [murmuring assent]
436
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:25,444
Dwight: Or you could just
stop stealing stuff.
437
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:28,147
Hexela: Bozo Thief was hanged
from Thief Tree.
438
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,481
- Like all good Thiefs.
439
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:30,549
- Mm.
440
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,185
Then why were you the one
to steal this relic?
441
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,087
Wenzo: Well,
the client paid in advance
442
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:37,923
and we had already
drunk away the money,
443
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:40,225
so the job fell to me.
444
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:43,328
[labored breathing]
445
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:47,433
I scaled the castle walls
like a spider.
446
00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:48,867
And entered the castle
447
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:49,435
[grunting]
448
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:51,503
with the grace of a cat.
449
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:52,471
[yells]
450
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:53,605
[crashing]
451
00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:55,674
My instructions were
to find a secret chamber
452
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,843
deep in the bowels
of the castle.
453
00:17:57,844 --> 00:17:59,244
I hid by day,
454
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,079
and I searched the castle
by night,
455
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,748
with the stealth of a,
456
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,216
of a,
457
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:07,219
what's a real stealthy animal
only comes out at night?
458
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:07,786
- A vampire.
459
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:08,520
Gretta: A wolf?
460
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:09,021
Baldric: An owl?
461
00:18:09,022 --> 00:18:09,721
Dwight: A racoon?
462
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:10,722
- A lynx.
463
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:11,757
All: Ah..
464
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:12,858
Dwight: Yeah, that's right.
465
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:14,893
Wenzo: So, I'm stalking around
like a lynx, right,
466
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:19,731
until I found
the secret chamber.
467
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,800
I knew where to look,
468
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:24,903
but though my flight was
light-footed as a fox,
469
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,872
the royal guards discovered me.
470
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,440
[heavy breathing]
471
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,676
No, no, no, no.
472
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:32,444
I knew if I was found
with the relic, I would--
473
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,879
Gretta: Swing
from Thief Tree?
474
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,080
Wenzo: Yes.
475
00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:39,084
I'm not quite ready for that,
so I hid my booty instead.
476
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:40,118
- Your what?
477
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,553
Baldric: You climbed to the
window and leapt--
478
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:42,588
- Like a tiger.
479
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,857
- Out of the castle
to escape into the woods.
480
00:18:44,858 --> 00:18:45,891
- Then what happened?
481
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:48,093
- The Quiet Friars hid me
from the royal guards.
482
00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:50,629
- You stole
a Quiet Friar's robe.
483
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:51,463
- Anyway,
484
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:52,965
I was walking back
to the castle
485
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:55,167
when I unaccountably
and uncontrollably
486
00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:56,902
fell sound asleep.
487
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,604
- The champion spell.
488
00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:00,939
Wenzo: When I awoke,
your castle was in ruins.
489
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:03,642
After months of tracking you
like a panther,
490
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,377
I finally found you here.
491
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,246
Baldric: And you broke in
last night.
492
00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:08,847
- Yes,
and then you recognized me.
493
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:10,182
Gretta: And we went
to the Quiet Friary
494
00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:12,150
and got the invincible
shears and needle.
495
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,485
- And then Baldric
called me and asked me
496
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:14,453
to bring my tent.
497
00:19:14,454 --> 00:19:15,153
Gretta: We set our trap.
498
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,021
Baldric: You broke in again.
499
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,689
- Guys, we were all here
for this part.
500
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:18,390
Baldric and Gretta: Oh.
501
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:19,391
- So...
502
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:21,560
now you know all.
503
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:26,331
- Not quite, Mr. Thief.
504
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:29,568
Who hired you to steal
this relic?
505
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:30,335
- Oh.
506
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,104
That I cannot say, m'lady.
507
00:19:32,105 --> 00:19:34,172
Dwight: 'Cause
you don't know?
508
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,074
- Because he will cut out
my tongue
509
00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:37,509
and feed it to the ravens.
510
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,111
- [disgusted noise]
511
00:19:39,112 --> 00:19:40,212
- Oh, okay.
512
00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:42,347
Well, nobody wants that.
513
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,115
- Uh-uh.
514
00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:44,816
Here's what I propose.
515
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:46,952
You unfasten me
from this table
516
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:48,820
and then I will just skulk off
into the night like a--
517
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:49,421
- Skunk!
518
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:50,155
- Uh, badger,
519
00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:51,089
I was gonna say badger.
520
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:52,124
Baldric: No, I think skunk.
521
00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:55,093
- Look,
you can keep the little trinket,
522
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:55,994
I won't say anything,
523
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:57,129
you won't say anything,
524
00:19:57,130 --> 00:19:59,197
it'll be our little secret.
525
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:02,000
- And what of your client?
526
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:04,069
- My problem, not yours.
527
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:09,007
- Mm.
528
00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:11,176
- Well, I'm off.
529
00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:12,444
Pockets to pick.
530
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,947
Houses to burgle.
531
00:20:14,948 --> 00:20:15,747
Dwight: You know, man,
532
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:20,519
you're a smart guy
with a skillset.
533
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:21,853
Maybe you should think
about getting out
534
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,255
of the thief business.
535
00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:24,423
You know,
536
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:26,491
maybe then you wouldn't have
to swing from Thief Tree.
537
00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:27,426
Wenzo: [laughs briefly]
538
00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:30,462
But I'm Wenzo Thief.
539
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:32,631
Dwight: Well, maybe
you could be Wenzo Architect,
540
00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:36,802
or Wenzo Grocery Checker,
Wenzo Attorney-at-Law.
541
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:39,237
You got choices, man.
542
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,840
Wenzo: I'm Wenzo Thief.
543
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:44,409
- Just something
to think about.
544
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:50,315
Wenzo: And now I slip softly
into the night, like a bat.
545
00:20:50,316 --> 00:20:52,217
[crash]
546
00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:53,051
Sorry.
547
00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:55,153
[door opens and shuts]
548
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:59,157
Gretta: Baldric, please return
this to the Quiet Friary.
549
00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:01,860
Baldric: Of course, Highness.
550
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:06,531
Gretta: [sighs]
And what of this?
551
00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:08,000
Hexela: I know a safe place.
552
00:21:08,001 --> 00:21:09,868
[ominous music]
553
00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:15,674
♪♪
554
00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:21,246
♪♪
555
00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:35,360
♪♪
556
00:21:35,361 --> 00:21:38,130
[key turns]
557
00:21:45,337 --> 00:21:49,274
[key locks]
558
00:21:56,014 --> 00:21:59,518
Hexela: [exhales]
559
00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:04,256
Baldric: You put yourself
at terrible risk, Hexela.
560
00:22:04,257 --> 00:22:07,192
Surely we can find
another place to--
561
00:22:07,193 --> 00:22:10,996
Hexela: Secure a tovenaar relic?
562
00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:18,470
This one and all the others
must never see the light of day.
563
00:22:23,108 --> 00:22:26,144
- Wenzo Schoolmarm, no,
564
00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:27,446
Wenzo Wheat-Farmer?
565
00:22:27,447 --> 00:22:28,780
Hmm, no.
566
00:22:28,781 --> 00:22:31,883
Wenzo Canine-Companion, yes,
567
00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:34,920
though I think they call it
doggy daycare now.
568
00:22:34,921 --> 00:22:40,859
[forest sounds]
569
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,327
- Uh.
570
00:22:42,328 --> 00:22:44,129
Sir Aldred of Westfold.
571
00:22:44,130 --> 00:22:45,897
Well met.
572
00:22:45,898 --> 00:22:49,234
- Wenzo Thief,
573
00:22:49,235 --> 00:22:53,438
I paid you handsomely
for a simple burglary.
574
00:22:53,439 --> 00:22:55,440
Wenzo: I found the castle
and the secret chamber
575
00:22:55,441 --> 00:22:58,510
and the stone box,
just as you instructed.
576
00:22:58,511 --> 00:23:01,813
Sir Aldred: I've been there
myself and found nothing.
577
00:23:01,814 --> 00:23:03,682
Please tell me it was you
that stole the relic
578
00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:06,184
before I could.
579
00:23:06,185 --> 00:23:08,286
Wenzo: Alas, no,
580
00:23:08,287 --> 00:23:15,260
when I opened the crypt
it was empty.
581
00:23:15,261 --> 00:23:16,862
Sir Aldred: As I feared.
582
00:23:16,863 --> 00:23:19,898
The relic is long gone.
583
00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:21,800
Wenzo: Awfully disappointing.
584
00:23:21,801 --> 00:23:23,535
Sir Aldred:
But I am optimistic.
585
00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:24,536
Wenzo: You are?
586
00:23:24,537 --> 00:23:26,538
Sir Aldred: To a fault.
587
00:23:26,539 --> 00:23:32,477
This relic is lost to me,
but my hopes remain high,
588
00:23:32,478 --> 00:23:34,946
for there are others.
589
00:23:34,947 --> 00:23:45,924
[loud construction]
590
00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:50,061
[ominous music]
591
00:23:50,062 --> 00:24:05,010
♪♪
592
00:24:05,011 --> 00:24:10,348
♪♪
593
00:24:10,349 --> 00:24:22,460
[creaking]
594
00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:25,530
Man: [exhales]
595
00:24:25,531 --> 00:24:34,039
[high-pitched ringing]
596
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:37,843
[whimpering]
597
00:24:37,844 --> 00:24:38,844
♪♪
39421
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