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1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:01,434
[cheering]
2
00:00:01,435 --> 00:00:02,569
Male Cheerleader:
We took down Timberland!
3
00:00:02,570 --> 00:00:04,704
We decimated Forest Glen!
4
00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:07,440
And we obliterated Riverside!
5
00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:09,142
None of that
is gonna mean a thing
6
00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:11,511
if we don't wipe the floor
with Lakeview High
7
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,579
in the big game tonight!
8
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:16,950
[cheering]
9
00:00:16,951 --> 00:00:18,118
Male Cheerleader:
This is it Woodside!
10
00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:20,787
This is the showdown
with our biggest rivals,
11
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:21,788
all right?
12
00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:23,423
We need you out there
in full force tonight.
13
00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:29,696
[cheering]
14
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:32,799
[ominous breathing]
15
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:46,980
[ominous breathing]
16
00:00:46,981 --> 00:00:48,915
Gretta: Sir Dwight,
it is almost time.
17
00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:52,552
[muffled groans]
18
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:53,920
- You are unwell.
19
00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:55,021
- What?
20
00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:58,024
No, no, no, no.
21
00:00:58,025 --> 00:00:59,592
I'm fine.
22
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,094
Male Cheerleader: Do you hear
that Lakeview?
23
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:03,897
[cheering]
24
00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:06,433
Male Cheerleader: That's
what's waiting for you tonight.
25
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:07,567
[cheering]
26
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,469
Male Cheerleader: We are going
to tear you guys apart!
27
00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:13,339
And just in case
you don't think we're serious.
28
00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:18,077
We stole your precious little
horn out of your trophy case.
29
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,279
Yeah, and if you want it back,
30
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,782
you're gonna have
to fight us for it.
31
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:28,922
[horn sounds long and loud]
32
00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:37,263
[birds chirping]
33
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:45,038
[horn is heard again]
34
00:01:45,039 --> 00:01:45,638
[growls]
35
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:46,606
[theme music]
36
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:47,640
Dwight: Okay,
about a thousand years ago,
37
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,309
there was this princess, Gretta.
38
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:50,510
And she was in big trouble,
39
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:53,446
because she had lots of enemies
and not a lot of friends.
40
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,281
♪♪
41
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:59,085
So her court magician,
Baldric cast the champion spell.
42
00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:00,320
It put everyone
in the woods to sleep
43
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:02,322
until a champion would come,
break the spell with his kiss
44
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:04,657
and deal with
Gretta's big, scary enemies.
45
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:07,026
But that guy never showed up.
46
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:07,360
Instead...
47
00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:08,394
Ah!
48
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:09,395
[kissing noise]
49
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:10,163
they got me.
50
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:11,598
♪♪
51
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:12,599
Ah!
52
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:16,836
♪♪
53
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:17,737
Dwight: Ow!
54
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:32,051
♪♪
55
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:33,086
[cheering]
56
00:02:33,087 --> 00:02:35,121
Male Cheerleader:
Now, to bring us home,
57
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:39,559
Woodside's very own good luck
charm, Woody the Woodchuck!
58
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:43,196
[cheering]
59
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:45,098
- Have no fear,
I know what to do.
60
00:02:45,099 --> 00:02:47,300
My uncle suffered
from the mariner's plague.
61
00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:48,268
- The what?
62
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:49,602
- I will get the leeches.
63
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,571
- No!
64
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:54,140
[breathing deeply]
65
00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:58,144
Hee, hee, hoo, hoo.
66
00:02:58,145 --> 00:02:59,512
Okay.
67
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:07,353
The woodchuck must go on.
68
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,088
Woo!
69
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:10,456
Woodchuck!
70
00:03:10,457 --> 00:03:14,694
[music and cheering]
71
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:18,965
[music and cheering]
72
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:22,635
[music and cheering]
73
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:37,584
[music and cheering]
74
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:46,893
[music and cheering]
75
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:50,496
[stomach gurgling loudly]
76
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:58,438
Dwight: [vomiting]
77
00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:00,139
[groans]
78
00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:00,840
All better.
79
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:03,076
[phone notification]
80
00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:06,846
Uh, uh.
81
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,047
Snackstand.
82
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:08,681
Gretta: No.
83
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,216
Sir Dwight, you need rest,
84
00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:11,551
in a dark room with no drafts
85
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:13,319
where we can let
the foul blood out of you.
86
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,988
Dwight: No, we're leaving
my blood right where it is.
87
00:04:14,989 --> 00:04:15,955
Gretta: But we must--
88
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:18,758
Dwight: I can't be sick, okay.
89
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,828
Lakeview is our biggest rival,
and Woody must come through.
90
00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:23,096
- Come through what?
91
00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:25,665
- Woody the Woodchuck
has only missed three games
92
00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:27,567
in the last twenty years,
93
00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:28,668
and each
of those three times,
94
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:30,703
we have suffered
our worst defeats.
95
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,672
Woody means everything
to this school.
96
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:33,773
And even if I am p--
97
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:37,176
[gags]
98
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:40,713
feeling a bit touchy
in the tummy,
99
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:43,983
the Woodchuck
has to bring it.
100
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:46,152
- Bring what?
101
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,420
- Sir Dwight!
102
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:48,955
I just heard
the fateful news.
103
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,556
Dwight: What's that?
104
00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:52,091
Baldric: A tonic.
105
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:55,261
It could make a dead man leap
from his grave.
106
00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:56,663
- I'm not even gonna
ask what's in it.
107
00:04:56,664 --> 00:05:03,369
- Very wise.
108
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:04,237
- Okay, what's in it?
109
00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:05,872
Baldric: The juice
of five figs.
110
00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:06,873
- Uh-huh.
111
00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:08,141
Baldric: The powdered pits
of three apricots.
112
00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:08,941
- It actually doesn't
sound so--
113
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,643
- The intestines
of two field mice.
114
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,012
- And there it is.
115
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:16,282
Look, I appreciate your concern,
but I'm good.
116
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:19,686
I'm actually allergic
to apricot pits.
117
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:20,720
Baldric: Oh.
118
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,188
- And field mice.
119
00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:24,323
Boy: Dwight, hey whoa.
120
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,559
Dude, you look like... terrible.
121
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:27,694
Gretta: It's the plague.
122
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:28,728
Or the scourge.
123
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,129
Possibly the pestilence.
124
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,531
- It's the half-off sushi.
125
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:33,099
- Oh.
126
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:35,201
[gulp]
127
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:38,938
Baldric: To protect
against the half-off sushi.
128
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:40,473
Boy: Have you tried castor oil?
129
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:43,876
And peanut butter
with ginger?
130
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:44,711
Got my dad up and running
131
00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:46,412
after he had
a really bad tuna roll.
132
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:48,715
Dwight: Okay, do we have um,
133
00:05:48,716 --> 00:05:51,617
organic popcorn, um,
brown rice krispie squares
134
00:05:51,618 --> 00:05:54,554
and biodegradable,
um, plastic straws?
135
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:58,357
- Uh, check, check and check.
136
00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,926
Dude, seriously,
you look like death.
137
00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:02,261
Like, really, really deathly.
138
00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:03,029
Dwight: Thanks man.
139
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:03,863
[slap]
140
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,431
Go Woodchucks.
141
00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:11,437
Boy: Go Woodchucks.
142
00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:14,507
- Have you
any mutton shanks?
143
00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:22,415
[ominous drumming]
144
00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:24,117
Baldric: Begone, devils.
145
00:06:24,118 --> 00:06:26,152
[shaking] I say begone!
146
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,453
Begone!
147
00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:31,524
- Gak!
148
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:34,427
Good luck charm.
149
00:06:34,428 --> 00:06:36,162
For the big game.
150
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:37,563
Look guys.
151
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:39,532
I really appreciate
all your chants
152
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:45,004
and all your tonics and
[sniffing] what is this?
153
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:48,307
- Devil Begone.
154
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:49,675
- You know what?
155
00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:51,244
I'm actually feeling better.
156
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:51,778
- Oh.
157
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,780
- And you know why?
158
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:55,381
Because
I don't have a choice.
159
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:56,415
I have a job to do.
160
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,950
I have several jobs to do.
161
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:58,851
Gretta: But can't someone
else--
162
00:06:58,852 --> 00:06:59,418
Dwight: No!
163
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,020
I will not be that guy.
164
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,455
Nobody else is gonna be
Woody the Woodchuck
165
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:03,756
for the pre-game
or half-time shows,
166
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,259
and nobody else is going
to announce the game.
167
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,460
It is on me.
168
00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:09,629
- I truly admire
your valor, Sir Dwight.
169
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,397
But your health
is more important.
170
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:15,301
Dwight: Lakeview is our arch
enemy and we will not go down
171
00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:16,836
on my watch.
172
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:20,773
- You mean our honor
is at stake?
173
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:21,674
- Yeah.
174
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,409
- Huh.
175
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:25,711
I understand.
176
00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:28,314
We will uphold the honor
of Woodside.
177
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:35,621
- Glory to the brave.
178
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:36,255
- Great.
179
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:43,462
- ALL HAIL THE WOODCHUCK!
180
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,764
- 'Kay.
181
00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,432
Hey Sophie,
how are we looking for--
182
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:49,101
- Dwight,
you don't look so hot.
183
00:07:49,102 --> 00:08:02,515
[distorted]
You don't look so hot.
184
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:06,285
[sounds are distorted]
Are you hungry, Dwight?
185
00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:13,459
Or do you just want a bite?
186
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,094
Dwight: [gagging
with mouth closed]
187
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:16,128
Baldric: Oh!
188
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,731
Dwight: [vomiting loudly]
189
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:20,399
[shaking]
190
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:29,876
[cheering]
191
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:32,278
Baldric: What weapons
have they chosen?
192
00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:35,848
Gretta:
Only those orange orbs.
193
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,050
- Strange choice
of weapon.
194
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:47,960
[cheering and music]
195
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,762
Baldric: Sir Dwight!
196
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:52,732
You are called to arms.
197
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:54,533
Gretta: I will go tell them
you are unwell.
198
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:55,735
Dwight: No, no, no.
199
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,603
The pre-game is just
as important as
200
00:08:57,604 --> 00:09:00,172
a pep rally
and half time shows.
201
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,607
It's all part
of the Woodside ritual.
202
00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:03,109
If Woody doesn't show,
we don't win.
203
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:09,982
It is a proven aoo- ao-
algorithm.
204
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:12,985
Thirty more seconds.
205
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,354
Aaaah.
206
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:16,956
So cold.
207
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:18,491
So nice.
208
00:09:18,492 --> 00:09:20,026
Okay, okay, mm.
209
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:20,993
Here we go.
210
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:28,134
[inhales deeply]
211
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:32,939
- For the honor
of Woodside.
212
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,107
- Uh.
213
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:38,210
Baldric: ALL HAIL
THE WOODCHUCK!
214
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:43,582
[cheering]
215
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,652
- Oh look,
it's a little Woodchuck.
216
00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:47,420
Baldric: Woody!
217
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:48,321
Woody!
218
00:09:48,322 --> 00:09:49,455
Woody!
219
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:50,556
Woody!
220
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:51,390
Woody!
221
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:52,391
Woody!
222
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:54,226
Woody!
223
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:55,861
Dwight: She knows
it's just a show, right?
224
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:57,463
Highlander Mascot: Oh, hi buddy,
225
00:09:57,464 --> 00:10:00,066
I don't know whether
to hug you or to
226
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,267
[thwap]
227
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,234
[thud]
228
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:10,009
[cheering]
229
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,511
- Siri, text Jake an apology.
230
00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:17,883
Siri: Apologizing to Jake.
231
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:18,851
Highlander Mascot:
What the heck was that, man?
232
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:19,819
That's not what we rehearsed.
233
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:20,920
[thwap]
234
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:25,024
[cheering]
235
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:39,972
Baldric: Nice!
236
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:40,873
Baldric: Nice!
237
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:46,045
[horn sounds]
238
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:48,214
[horn sounds again]
239
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,248
Highlander: [growls]
240
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,050
Gretta: But how was I to know
it was for show?
241
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:53,285
Dwight: Because this is
the non-insane century.
242
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:54,220
Remember?
243
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:55,154
Nice turf?
244
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,255
We don't have death matches
245
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,124
at basketball games!
246
00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,426
Baldric: Still,
impressive show of force.
247
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:01,794
Gretta: Thank you.
248
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,662
Baldric: I am so exhilarated.
249
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:04,764
What's next?
250
00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:05,664
It's as though I'm back
251
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:09,535
at the mage versus wizard
battle of 986.
252
00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:09,902
Hm?
253
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:10,669
[laughing]
254
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,471
- I have
to announce the game.
255
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:15,107
You have to cheer and watch.
256
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:18,477
Excuse me.
257
00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:19,678
[thud]
258
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:23,716
[choking for air]
259
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:25,718
Gretta: Powerful weapon indeed.
260
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,453
Baldric: An orb of havoc.
261
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,454
I've heard of them,
262
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,991
though I've never seen one
with my own eyes.
263
00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:35,761
Referee: Oh, the ball.
264
00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:36,996
- I need a minute.
265
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:39,899
[buzzer]
266
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,967
Wait, wait,
I'm supposed to announce the...
267
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:44,470
Baldric: Leave it to me,
Sir Dwight.
268
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:47,006
Dwight: Wait, no, no, no.
269
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,507
Baldric: You may recall
Sir Dwight,
270
00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:49,508
that I recently served
271
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:51,911
as Grand Marshall
for the three-legged race.
272
00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:53,279
Never fear, Sir Dwight.
273
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:53,779
[slap]
274
00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:54,613
Dwight: Ow.
275
00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:56,982
Baldric: I've got this
on lock up!
276
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:59,018
Dwight: Lock down.
277
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:05,591
- Yes.
278
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:08,060
[clears throat]
279
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:11,464
Hear ye, peasant youth!
280
00:12:11,465 --> 00:12:15,067
It is my great honor to welcome
you to this contest
281
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:18,304
between the valorous
Woodchucks of Woodside!
282
00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:25,978
[cheering]
283
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:27,513
And the heinous
284
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:28,514
[mic feedback]
285
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:31,217
Highlanders of Lakeview!
286
00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:32,885
[booing]
287
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:47,566
♪♪
288
00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:50,469
The blue knight prepares
to unleash the orb of havoc
289
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,071
on the red knights.
290
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:53,239
What's this?
291
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,940
The red knights have thrown
their hands up in the air
292
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:55,908
in surrender!
293
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:56,542
Huzzah!
294
00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:57,910
The battle is won!
295
00:12:57,911 --> 00:13:00,146
[Baldric laughs] Wait!
296
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:02,982
The merciless blue knight
releases the orb of havoc
297
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,985
and it goes straight
into a fish net,
298
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,086
a broken fish net.
299
00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:11,157
Oh, what a disastrous failure.
300
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:13,459
What folly is this?
301
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,861
Blue knight flings the orb
of havoc
302
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:17,129
at one of his fellow knights,
303
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:25,037
who flings it
at another blue knight.
304
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:28,641
And again through
the broken fish net.
305
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:32,912
[horn sounds]
306
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:34,647
[horn sounds]
307
00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:43,989
[horn sounds]
308
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,792
[buzzer]
309
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:50,763
Baldric: Both sides sound
a retreat. Huh.
310
00:13:50,764 --> 00:13:52,331
Appalling.
311
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,833
- Can you please tell
Baldric it is not a retreat,
312
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,569
it's just half-time.
313
00:13:56,570 --> 00:13:59,939
[pained groan]
314
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:02,541
Gretta: You have taken a turn
for the worse.
315
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:06,111
Dwight: I just need my bed.
316
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:08,581
Gretta: Your dear ones should be
at your side.
317
00:14:08,582 --> 00:14:13,018
Dwight: What?
318
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,621
- Go hence
and beckon Nana.
319
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,523
- You have to say
call Nana.
320
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:18,624
Siri: Beckoning Nana.
321
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,092
[phone rings]
322
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:21,060
Nana: Hey Gretta!
323
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,061
What's the score?
324
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:22,461
- Nana!
325
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:23,329
Come quick!
326
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:25,331
Sir Dwight is not long
for this earth.
327
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,633
Dwight: No, no, I'm still long,
Nana.
328
00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:29,935
I, I'm just a little
under the weather.
329
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:31,971
- I'm afraid
these are his final hours.
330
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:33,239
- Not as serious
as all that.
331
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,175
- His soul all
but flutters over our heads!
332
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:38,077
- My soul's
not fluttering anywhere.
333
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:39,478
Nana: Oh, dear, dear, dear.
334
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:42,781
I'll be there in a jiffy.
335
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:43,282
- Ah, geez.
336
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:50,756
Gretta: [wailing]
337
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,258
- What are you doing?
338
00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:54,159
- Wailing in lamentation.
339
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:54,960
- Doing the what
in the what?
340
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:58,264
Gretta: [wailing even louder]
341
00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:00,399
- Have the lamentations begun?
342
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,668
Gretta: Baldric!
343
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:08,007
Baldric: [begins wailing]
344
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:14,546
[wailing over the PA system]
345
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:15,080
Dwight: Stop!
346
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:15,581
Stop, stop, stop.
347
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:16,248
Please--
348
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:16,882
[wailing continues]
349
00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:21,387
Dwight: Please, stop.
350
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:23,589
[rock music]
351
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,157
Dwight: The half time show
is starting.
352
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,925
- I must hurry
to the privy then.
353
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,394
The contest will resume shortly
354
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,696
and I've had three flagons
of orange soda.
355
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:31,530
Look out!
356
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,065
Coming through!
357
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:35,367
Hurry, hurry!
358
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:37,269
Dwight: Woody does not miss
half time.
359
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,237
We are winning by nine.
360
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:41,407
Bring us home, Gretta.
361
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:45,344
Gretta: Is this your dying wish?
362
00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:52,818
Dwight: Absolutely.
363
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:55,954
Gretta: [wails]
364
00:15:55,955 --> 00:16:04,163
[horn sounds]
365
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:06,965
Baldric: [over PA system]
I feel so much relieved.
366
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:14,173
[rock music]
367
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:18,077
- And the Woodchuck
has laid down the gauntlet,
368
00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:28,253
but will the Highlander
accept the challenge?
369
00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:36,161
Highlander mascot: [screaming]
370
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,763
- [chuckles]
371
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:46,105
- You're too crazy!
372
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:47,005
Baldric: He will not.
373
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:55,881
He will not. Ha.
374
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:57,082
[door slams open]
375
00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:59,718
Higlander: I accept
your challenge.
376
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,353
Filthy dogs!
377
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:05,391
[ominous music]
378
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:06,492
[ax clinks]
379
00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:10,796
[cheering]
380
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,531
- Oh.
381
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:16,702
- [nervously]
'Tis only for show.
382
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:20,038
Baldric: Finally
a worthy challenger. Hm?
383
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:25,277
[chuckles] Yah!
384
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:29,882
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
385
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:37,322
The Woodchuck strikes first.
386
00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:37,923
Highlander: Ha!
387
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:38,924
[thump]
388
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:42,928
Baldric: Oh, the Woodchuck
has been beheaded!
389
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:50,869
Ha, ha, ha.
390
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:54,373
The Woodchuck miraculously
recapitates
391
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:57,142
and attempts a counter assault.
392
00:17:57,143 --> 00:17:58,010
[thump]
393
00:17:58,011 --> 00:18:03,682
- Boom goes
the Woodchuck!
394
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,250
Highlander: [chuckles]
395
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:09,154
Now you've made me angry,
wee beastie.
396
00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:10,155
- They're growing
their seniors big
397
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:11,690
at Lakeview this year.
398
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:12,491
[thump]
399
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:13,292
Highlander: Oh!
400
00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:15,194
- Another blow
for the Woodchuck.
401
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:15,894
- And hairy.
402
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:16,995
Highlander: [roars]
403
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:17,729
[ax thuds]
404
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:32,678
[grunts and thuds]
405
00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:34,313
[grunts and thuds]
406
00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:38,851
Baldric: The big brute counters
with a backwards head twist.
407
00:18:38,852 --> 00:18:40,519
Highlander: [Scottish accent]
You squirrelly thief.
408
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,721
Return me what you've stolen.
409
00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:43,589
- Stolen?
410
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:46,024
Highlander: The honor
of Strathclyde!
411
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:47,392
[thump]
412
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:47,793
[inaudible]
413
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:53,499
[horn blows]
414
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,466
Baldric: Did he say--
415
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,768
Gretta: Strathclyde.
416
00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,170
This is no show.
417
00:18:58,171 --> 00:19:01,440
Baldric: A warrior
from Strathclyde, here?
418
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:04,176
Run, you peasant half-wits!
419
00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:05,511
Save yourself!
420
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,646
[cheering]
421
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:08,480
- What does he want?
422
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,148
Baldric: We must find out.
423
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,884
Speak to him, Your Highness.
424
00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:13,385
In his own tongue.
425
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:21,693
[cheering]
426
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:23,529
Highlander: [roars]
427
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:25,163
Gretta: [Scottish accent]
Are ye from Strathclyde,
428
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,398
noble highlander?
429
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:27,733
- Aye,
430
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:30,369
and my father
and his father before.
431
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:34,072
I will avenge the wrong
you've done our honor.
432
00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:36,208
- When did they have
time to choreograph this?
433
00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:38,076
Gretta: [Scottish accent]
None here would dishonor ye,
434
00:19:38,077 --> 00:19:39,144
nor your kinfolk.
435
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:42,814
- You have stolen
the sacred horn of Strathclyde.
436
00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:45,350
[horn sounds]
437
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,252
- You pilfering rascal!
438
00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:50,055
I'll have your guts
for garters.
439
00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:52,090
[roaring]
440
00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:55,327
- [weak laugh]
441
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:56,929
Hey! Hey Gretta!
442
00:19:56,930 --> 00:20:00,265
I think you guys are taking this
a little bit too far.
443
00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:01,633
Gretta: The horn!
444
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:02,234
- What?
445
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:04,136
Gretta: Get the horn!
446
00:20:04,137 --> 00:20:05,337
Baldric: Hurry Sir Dwight!
447
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:07,973
Or he'll have all of our guts
for garters!
448
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,207
- What does that even mean?
449
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,876
[horn sounds]
450
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,412
- This is not for show!
451
00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:15,647
[roaring continues]
452
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:17,182
- Hurry!
453
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:26,058
[cheering]
454
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:31,797
[horn sounds]
455
00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:34,132
Boy 2: [distorted] Hey Dwight!
456
00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:36,468
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
457
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:42,841
Woo!
458
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:43,542
[thud]
459
00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:47,613
- Princess!
460
00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:54,786
Dwight: [whispering]
Get the horn.
461
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:58,156
[horn sounds]
462
00:20:58,157 --> 00:21:05,564
Dwight: Gretta!
463
00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:07,532
Highlander: [roars]
464
00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:09,334
♪♪
465
00:21:09,335 --> 00:21:10,535
Highlander: [exhales]
466
00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:12,671
Dwight: [exhales]
467
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:25,917
[crowd murmuring]
468
00:21:25,918 --> 00:21:26,985
Gretta: [Scottish accent]
I return this horn
469
00:21:26,986 --> 00:21:29,388
of Strathclyde
to its rightful owner,
470
00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:34,893
and offer ye the Woodchuck's
deepest apologies.
471
00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:40,198
Highlander: I accept your
apology, ya wee beastie.
472
00:21:40,199 --> 00:21:43,101
[crowd cheers]
473
00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:49,474
Dwight: [laughs then gags]
474
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:53,412
[horn sounds]
475
00:21:53,413 --> 00:21:58,717
Highlander: Oh, let's get you
home now where ya belong,
476
00:21:58,718 --> 00:22:04,589
ya wee troublemaker.
477
00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:07,659
Baldric: Long live
the Woodchuck!
478
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:10,128
Huzzah!
479
00:22:10,129 --> 00:22:18,136
[cheering]
480
00:22:18,137 --> 00:22:22,641
Dwight: [sounds of suffering]
481
00:22:22,642 --> 00:22:24,242
Gretta: You're sure
it's not the plague?
482
00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:25,277
Dwight: Yeah.
483
00:22:25,278 --> 00:22:26,211
Gretta: Or the scourge?
484
00:22:26,212 --> 00:22:26,912
Dwight: Mm-hm.
485
00:22:26,913 --> 00:22:28,013
Gretta: Or the pestilence?
486
00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:30,449
Dwight: Just regular old
food poisoning.
487
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:32,250
Gretta: Well, then
there's no time to waste.
488
00:22:32,251 --> 00:22:34,419
You must swallow
a piece of charcoal.
489
00:22:34,420 --> 00:22:35,921
Dwight: Why would I do that?
490
00:22:35,922 --> 00:22:38,657
Gretta: It will absorb the
poison from your stomach.
491
00:22:38,658 --> 00:22:39,224
Dwight: Oh.
492
00:22:39,225 --> 00:22:40,992
[laughs weakly]
493
00:22:40,993 --> 00:22:43,528
How did anybody survive
the middle ages?
494
00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:45,997
Baldric: Would someone please
clear the battlefield
495
00:22:45,998 --> 00:22:47,799
of fishnets?
496
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:48,767
[cheering]
497
00:22:48,768 --> 00:22:50,769
Dwight: Sounds like
two more points for us.
498
00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:52,838
[door opens]
499
00:22:52,839 --> 00:22:56,708
Gretta: Our victory is assured
and our honor is maintained
500
00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:58,910
thanks to the Woodchuck.
501
00:22:58,911 --> 00:23:00,445
Dwight: Thanks to you.
502
00:23:00,446 --> 00:23:01,580
Really.
503
00:23:01,581 --> 00:23:04,449
You guys came through
for me today when I needed it.
504
00:23:04,450 --> 00:23:06,451
- It was our privilege
Sir Dwight.
505
00:23:06,452 --> 00:23:08,553
After all the times
you've come to our aid.
506
00:23:08,554 --> 00:23:10,622
[car door opens and shuts]
507
00:23:10,623 --> 00:23:12,758
Nana: There you are pumpkin!
508
00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:14,659
Dwight, you look awful.
509
00:23:14,660 --> 00:23:17,896
Dwight: I, I just,
I just need...
510
00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:19,397
- Aw.
511
00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:21,767
Dwight: That.
512
00:23:21,768 --> 00:23:23,802
I needed that.
513
00:23:23,803 --> 00:23:26,037
Nana: You know what else
you need?
514
00:23:26,038 --> 00:23:28,240
Some chicken noodle soup.
515
00:23:28,241 --> 00:23:29,107
- Thank you.
516
00:23:29,108 --> 00:23:32,077
- Oh.
517
00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:33,678
- I am being summoned.
518
00:23:33,679 --> 00:23:35,080
Dwight: After that show,
519
00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:37,115
I'm not sure what you can do
for an encore.
520
00:23:37,116 --> 00:23:39,785
- I still have
a few more moves.
521
00:23:39,786 --> 00:23:41,787
Dwight: Go get 'em, Woody.
522
00:23:41,788 --> 00:23:42,287
[gags]
523
00:23:42,288 --> 00:23:43,021
Nana: Oh my!
524
00:23:43,022 --> 00:23:44,189
Dwight: Sorry, sorry.
525
00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:47,392
Nana: [stammering]
Not in the car.
526
00:23:47,393 --> 00:23:50,462
Baldric: Long live
the Woodchuck!
527
00:23:50,463 --> 00:23:51,496
Ha, ha!
528
00:23:51,497 --> 00:23:52,497
♪♪
33865
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