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1
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It's board game night, baby!
2
00:00:02,969 --> 00:00:03,969
Monopoly?
3
00:00:03,970 --> 00:00:07,372
Uh, hell yeah! Proceed directly to Go!
4
00:00:07,374 --> 00:00:08,840
Cards against humanity?
5
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:13,245
Uh, on your mark, get set,
laugh your ass off!
6
00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:14,646
I've never seen this one before.
7
00:00:15,163 --> 00:00:18,182
Reciprocity: The game of attitudes?
8
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:20,184
Sounds wicked boring, bro.
9
00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:24,789
Actually, it seems like this
game could be low-key sick-ass.
10
00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:26,190
So, you spend flash points
11
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:27,926
to move the question flag
and get answer points.
12
00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:29,994
Unspent flash points
are called nullifiers.
13
00:00:29,996 --> 00:00:32,130
Whoever reaches flash point parity wins.
14
00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:33,331
Any questions?
15
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:34,799
- Um...
- Great.
16
00:00:34,801 --> 00:00:37,069
So, Francine,
I rolled the conundrum die,
17
00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:39,738
and it looks like you're
entering a probe period.
18
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:42,607
- Oh, no!
- No! It's a good thing!
19
00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:43,942
Or a bad thing?
20
00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:46,278
You have to announce how
many nullifiers you have
21
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:47,412
in your quandary deck.
22
00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:48,613
Oh. O-Okay.
23
00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,148
And it's okay to lie.
24
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:51,416
Oh! Okay.
25
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:53,017
Mom decided to lie.
26
00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:54,352
No, she didn't.
27
00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:55,620
Okay. Say the number.
28
00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:56,688
Here it comes.
29
00:00:56,690 --> 00:01:00,825
I have... three nullifiers.
30
00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:03,161
You decided to tell the
truth at the last second.
31
00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:04,496
- No.
- That's a lie.
32
00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:06,765
I declare reciprocity challenge.
33
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:10,168
Mom has three nullifiers.
It's embarrassingly obvious.
34
00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:11,503
This game is stupid!
35
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:13,705
That's a disjunction!
That's two flash points.
36
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:17,241
Mom, don't get mad because
you're so easy to read.
37
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:18,710
I'm not mad!
38
00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:22,314
Oh. Okay. Sure, Mom.
39
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,916
Look at her neck. So red.
40
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,318
I'm not mad!
41
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:28,586
I just remembered I'm, uh...
42
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,789
I'm getting an oil change tomorrow
43
00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:34,192
and I haven't driven enough miles yet,
so I got to go.
44
00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:35,593
Sorry to run,
45
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:38,730
but we've had a lot of laughs about me,
and I like that.
46
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:42,134
Mom, don't go. We were just having fun.
47
00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:43,335
We don't want you to cry.
48
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:45,403
I'm not crying!
49
00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:51,943
Mom? We can hear you crying.
50
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,546
- Come back.
- I'm not crying!
51
00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:57,682
I'm laughing!
52
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:02,086
Mr. Klaus?
53
00:02:02,088 --> 00:02:06,491
I swallowed a question flag,
and I need to go to the hospital.
54
00:02:09,319 --> 00:02:12,121
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
55
00:02:12,156 --> 00:02:15,233
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
56
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:18,436
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
57
00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:22,941
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
58
00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:28,046
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
59
00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:30,915
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
60
00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:31,983
Aah!
61
00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:36,521
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
62
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:50,870
All right. That's enough of this.
63
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:54,005
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
64
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,912
I thought you hid in
Stan's car every night.
65
00:02:56,947 --> 00:02:58,009
Why were you in mine?
66
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:01,611
Not proud of it, but I badly
needed some cash for Funko Pops,
67
00:03:01,646 --> 00:03:03,215
decided to steal your
catalytic converter,
68
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:06,017
then I realized I don't know
what a catalytic converter is
69
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,351
or where it is, even.
70
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:08,953
Thought it might be in the footwell,
71
00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:10,822
but it's dark down there,
and I fell asleep.
72
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:13,357
- What's bothering you, Franny?
- It's the kids.
73
00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:17,762
They act like my every
thought is so obvious to them,
74
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:21,032
like I'm just a big old obvious mom.
75
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:24,636
And what gets me most
upset is they're right!
76
00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:26,905
So they can read you very easily,
77
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,973
and this makes you unhappy?
78
00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:31,043
What if they couldn't
read you so easily?
79
00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:33,378
- That might make you happy.
- Probably not.
80
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,579
But I want it.
81
00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:36,448
Sounds like you need a poker face.
82
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:38,917
In a serendipitous stroke of luck,
83
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,919
tonight I'm being the Gambler!
84
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:41,986
The Gambler?
85
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:43,988
Yes. The Gambler, from the song.
86
00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:45,723
Although I have a
complicated relationship
87
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:46,725
with that song, frankly.
88
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,260
Is it a good song? Yes.
89
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:50,795
Was Kenny Rogers able to get
his version of the story out
90
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:52,130
before I could release my book
91
00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:54,198
detailing when to hold
them and fold them?
92
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,801
Why is it good for me
that you're the Gambler?
93
00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:58,403
Because my game is poker.
94
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,538
And I think if we were able to sit down
95
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:01,673
and play a little poker,
96
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,207
I could get a look at your tells,
97
00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:05,410
figure out what's tipping
Steve and Hayley off
98
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,478
about your every thought.
99
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,346
I'm not sure.
100
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:09,481
There's your first tell.
101
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:12,484
Your broken posture says to me,
"I'm not sure."
102
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:13,952
I said it out loud.
103
00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:15,353
The ultimate tell.
104
00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:17,421
The only hard part is finding a game.
105
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:18,957
Let's see.
106
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:21,025
Buckle has a treehouse game,
but it's a pretty rich crowd,
107
00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:22,961
and also I struggle
with the rope ladder.
108
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:25,097
There's a game of five-card
stud in the sewers
109
00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:26,898
where the toilet water gets all over you
110
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:29,101
and you're guaranteed
to get bit by rats,
111
00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:31,103
but the downside is I don't like stud.
112
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:33,037
Oh, there's also
a nightly game of hold'em
113
00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:35,107
in the back of this
grocery store right here.
114
00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:37,241
So the sewer game, I guess?
115
00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:40,012
No. Wait. The grocery store.
It's so close.
116
00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:46,512
Most people don't know it,
but there's a lot of hot action
117
00:04:46,547 --> 00:04:48,577
in the back of
supermarkets late at night.
118
00:04:49,848 --> 00:04:50,888
Nope.
119
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,560
B-b-b-bingo!
120
00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:58,029
I mean p-p-p-poker!
121
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:00,031
Francine, meet the players.
122
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:02,834
Chinchilla Slim,
an old lady who always wears
123
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,902
an enormous fur coat and a cowboy hat.
124
00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:07,905
Tom from the grocery store...
this grocery store.
125
00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:10,241
He's got a nice, slim build,
but it's not in his name.
126
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,577
Then as usual, there's three performers
127
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:15,513
from whatever traveling Cirque
du Soleil show is in town.
128
00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:17,182
Their bodies are insane.
129
00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:19,184
Am I talking about
people's bodies too much?
130
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:20,186
Let's just play cards.
131
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:21,719
I'll watch for your tells,
132
00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:23,855
and we'll talk if I notice anything big.
133
00:05:24,544 --> 00:05:26,439
Your eyes twitch when you need a card,
134
00:05:26,474 --> 00:05:29,060
you bite and spit your
nails when you're bluffing,
135
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:32,397
and when you get a face card,
you actually say, out loud,
136
00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,199
"Ïh, Mr. Mooney!"
137
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,534
I didn't know I was doing any of that.
138
00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:38,336
It's bad. But don't despair.
139
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,405
You're with the Gambler himself.
140
00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:42,273
Didn't you die in that song?
141
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:44,075
Kenny took a lot of license there.
142
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:47,212
I fell asleep very, very hard.
I did not die.
143
00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:48,613
Roger, help me.
144
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:51,082
Surface tells are easy
to handle with props...
145
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:53,418
wrist weights, fake lips,
mechanical ears.
146
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:56,554
But for the subtle, unconscious tells,
we have to go deeper.
147
00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:59,024
If you'll allow me,
I'd like to guide you
148
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,759
through a helpful
visualization technique.
149
00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:03,094
All right. Close your eyes.
150
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:05,963
I need you to picture
yourself standing alone
151
00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:09,767
in a field of golden wheat...
barley if you know your grains.
152
00:06:09,864 --> 00:06:12,103
Oh, wow. I can see it.
153
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:14,772
Now I want you to back
away from yourself.
154
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:17,375
Let yourself get farther
and farther away...
155
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,976
not so far that you're gone,
156
00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:21,579
but until you can't
see your face clearly.
157
00:06:21,581 --> 00:06:24,115
Okay. I'm far away.
158
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:26,651
How is this gonna help
me hide my feelings?
159
00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:28,720
Open your eyes.
160
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,922
You won! They couldn't read you!
161
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:33,324
Mm. That was an incredible hand
162
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:36,327
to play so stone-faced, little lady.
163
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:37,529
Huh.
164
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,865
Looks like my no-good
kids better watch out,
165
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:43,335
'cause Ìom isn't so
easy to read anymore.
166
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,405
Aah!
167
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:51,043
That's right.
Look over there, not over here.
168
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:57,148
Last night was amazing, Roger.
169
00:06:57,150 --> 00:07:00,018
I really felt like I could
hide my emotions...
170
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,752
Where the hell have you been?!
171
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:04,889
I've been worried sick all...
the 10 minutes since I woke up
172
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:06,491
after sleeping nine hours straight!
173
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:09,560
Excuse me.
I have to take this... phone upstairs.
174
00:07:09,562 --> 00:07:10,695
There's no call.
175
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:12,964
I'm sorry to worry you, honey,
176
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:15,166
but after I got so upset last night...
177
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:16,367
Upset?
178
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,369
But you repeatedly
said you weren't upset
179
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:20,705
before you stormed off in
what I assumed was elation!
180
00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:21,973
And what is this?
181
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,575
- I can explain.
- I should hope so,
182
00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:26,577
because if you think I'm
gonna let this slide...
183
00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:28,780
Is that a fur coat?
184
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,581
I won that from Chinchilla S...
185
00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:31,782
it's a man's coat, right?
186
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:33,251
N-N-No.
187
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:36,855
Anyway, last night,
I think I learned something that's...
188
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:38,923
Some things aren't a husband's business.
189
00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:40,525
You were out. Who am I to ask where?
190
00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:42,393
I'm gonna make you some
sausage and peppers.
191
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:44,195
You've got to be hungry.
Or maybe you're not.
192
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:46,832
Maybe you ate. It's not for me to know.
193
00:07:48,804 --> 00:07:50,535
Mom. Are you just getting home?
194
00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:55,474
Oh, it just drives you crazy
to not know what I'm up to.
195
00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:57,809
So you're... up to something?
196
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,678
- Um...
- Mom's up to something?
197
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,079
- Steve!
- What's going on?
198
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:02,747
It's a probe period!
199
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:04,415
What I actually said was,
200
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:07,218
"never count your money when
you're sittin' at the table
201
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:10,489
"because you should get one of
those money-counting machines.
202
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:12,423
They're faster." Hello?
203
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:14,826
The bastard Kenny Rogers hung up on me!
204
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,362
- Didn't he die years ago?
- Sounds right.
205
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:19,564
I thought I had a poker face now,
206
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:23,234
but it still feels like the
kids can see right through me.
207
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,170
Well, yeah.
I mean, you only did one night.
208
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:28,507
Getting a killer poker face
will take more hands than that.
209
00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:30,441
Then I got to play more.
210
00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:31,910
Is this really the right solution
211
00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:33,378
for your problem with the kids?
212
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:36,315
It's your solution that you recommended!
213
00:08:36,317 --> 00:08:37,716
You passed my test.
214
00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:39,250
How was it a test?
215
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:40,919
It was just an intricate little test.
216
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,321
Let's go play poker!
217
00:08:45,695 --> 00:08:47,726
Chimdale Stakes casino.
218
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:50,261
This is where the constant action is.
219
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:54,933
It's very grim,
but also very bright at the same time.
220
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:56,134
You got to moisturize.
221
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,536
The cigarette smoke will dry you out.
222
00:08:57,538 --> 00:09:00,205
And eat your p fruits...
pears, peaches, plums...
223
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:03,007
because all the sitting and
the Red Bulls will stop you up.
224
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:04,142
Look at this room.
225
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,010
There isn't a regular BM'er in the lot.
226
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:07,678
Hemorrhoids every which way.
227
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,814
Hey, it's Chinchilla Slim!
228
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:11,482
Hi, Chinchilla Slim!
229
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,818
You took the only coat I
had in this whole world!
230
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,354
Don't say hi to me.
231
00:09:15,356 --> 00:09:18,890
I don't know anyone else yet.
What's that over there?
232
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,425
That area's for high rollers.
233
00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,761
The buy-in is twice Buckle's treehouse.
234
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,495
A lot of the players you're seeing here
235
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:27,232
will play the Chimdale Stakes
no-limit tournament next month.
236
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,834
Well, maybe I'll play in that too.
237
00:09:30,501 --> 00:09:31,809
Are you crazy?
238
00:09:31,844 --> 00:09:33,638
The buy-in on that
tournament is so steep,
239
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,107
it's like Buckle's treehouse on crack.
240
00:09:36,704 --> 00:09:38,977
Jack-high straight.
241
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:41,413
Flush! Hearts aflutter!
242
00:09:42,849 --> 00:09:44,249
No. No!
243
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:47,586
Rose, please! Give me one more week!
244
00:09:48,387 --> 00:09:51,389
The debt must be paid.
245
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:52,857
Mommy!
246
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:54,525
What the hell was that?
247
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:55,594
Keep your voice down.
248
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:58,730
That's Frog Rose,
Frog Ross's cruel sister.
249
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:01,866
She took over his chain of
successful Foie Grastaurants.
250
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,534
Anyway, Frog Rose is a backer,
251
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,536
someone who loans a
player betting money.
252
00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:07,872
But she charges such crazy interest,
253
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:09,941
you have to win right away or...
254
00:10:10,621 --> 00:10:12,077
She snaps you?!
255
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:14,924
She takes you away,
and you're never seen again.
256
00:10:14,959 --> 00:10:16,785
I mean, maybe she does
snap you somewhere,
257
00:10:16,820 --> 00:10:18,082
behind closed doors... I don't know.
258
00:10:18,084 --> 00:10:19,818
The point is I don't work with backers.
259
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,420
And you shouldn't either.
260
00:10:21,422 --> 00:10:24,155
Of course, all my decisions
have left me completely broke
261
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,690
and alone, but as God is my witness,
262
00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:28,693
nothing can stop me from giving advice!
263
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,833
You fiddle with your wedding
ring when you have a hot hand,
264
00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:36,767
especially two pair,
Jacks with eyeballs.
265
00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:38,437
Rubber electrician's
gloves will easily...
266
00:10:38,439 --> 00:10:40,705
I'll just take the ring off.
I don't care.
267
00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:42,307
Yikes.
268
00:10:49,956 --> 00:10:52,451
You're grinding your teeth
when you have a dead hand.
269
00:10:52,453 --> 00:10:54,653
We need to go further into the barley.
270
00:10:58,058 --> 00:11:00,725
Three eighty, four hundred...
271
00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:02,327
...Four hundred and one!
272
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,463
And here's a little something extra
273
00:11:04,465 --> 00:11:07,732
'cause you look so cute
with your ass up in the air.
274
00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:09,200
Ooh!
275
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:11,503
- Who's oohing in here?
- And about what?
276
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:17,075
Your eyes wrinkle at the corners
when you're hunting clubs.
277
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,677
Time for wraparound oakleys.
278
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,621
I'm on a bad run!
279
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:33,624
Somebody help me with my life! Aah!
280
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:35,960
You tuck your chin when
you're trying to bait someone.
281
00:11:47,118 --> 00:11:50,108
Every time I come to whisper
in your ear is a huge tell.
282
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,910
I should stop, but I can't.
283
00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:53,312
Who is that woman?
284
00:11:53,314 --> 00:11:56,647
That's the second table
she's run this week.
285
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:59,984
No one knows anything about
her or where she came from.
286
00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:02,987
They started calling
her the Pink Sphinx.
287
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:04,455
Pink Sphinx?
288
00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:07,058
That's a stupid-sounding name.
289
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,060
You got that right, Frog Rose!
290
00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:16,000
I think you're ready to
take your poker face...
291
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:18,971
up to the big table.
292
00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:27,678
So... anything new with anyone?
293
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,081
The fur? I've always been a fur guy.
294
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,150
No. What's going on with Mom?
295
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,752
I bet we could guess.
296
00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:35,153
You'd be wrong.
297
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,422
We've barely seen you since game night
298
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:39,624
- when you were so upset.
- Nope.
299
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:41,826
What are you doing? Another game?
300
00:12:43,697 --> 00:12:44,963
Yeah. That's it.
301
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:47,832
But what game?
302
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,235
The glasses. Why?
303
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:52,971
- To hide the eyes?
- A mask?
304
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,839
A poker face.
305
00:12:54,841 --> 00:12:55,907
Run, Francine!
306
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,508
No. You're right.
307
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:58,977
I am playing poker.
308
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:01,179
I hope you're sticking
to small-time games.
309
00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:02,847
Yeah. With a poker face like that,
310
00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:04,649
the real players will eat you alive.
311
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:07,986
Actually, I have a great poker face!
312
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:10,589
And I play in big, big games!
313
00:13:10,591 --> 00:13:15,193
I'm playing in the Chimdale
Stakes no-limit tournament!
314
00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,195
I need to be in that tournament.
315
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:19,264
Where are you gonna get
the money for the buy-in?
316
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:21,600
What about Frog Rose?
317
00:13:21,602 --> 00:13:24,335
A total death sentence.
Let's brainstorm other ways.
318
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,471
Do you know what a catalytic
converter looks like
319
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,072
and where it is on a car?
320
00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:31,342
You did the right thing
coming to me, sugar.
321
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:33,544
I'll stake your buy-in.
322
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:38,883
I think you'll find the terms very,
very diabolical.
323
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:41,486
Although legally,
they have to be called nefarious.
324
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:45,057
Oh, those lousy lawyers.
Where do I sign?
325
00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:49,294
Francine!
326
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:52,163
Welcome to the big leagues, baby!
327
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,632
- Busted!
- S'up?
328
00:13:53,634 --> 00:13:56,034
Mom, we've figured out what's going on.
329
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,502
You have a gambling problem!
330
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,704
- Nope.
- Then quit right now!
331
00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:00,706
Nah.
332
00:14:00,707 --> 00:14:02,173
Time for plan B...
333
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,709
enter the tournament
and defeat you ourselves
334
00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:06,577
to save you from this addiction.
335
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,980
How could you both afford the buy-in?!
336
00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:11,850
We just pawned our dad's
huge fur-coat collection.
337
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:14,185
Oh! That's smart!
338
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,387
We've got your number, Pink Sphinx.
339
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:19,324
See you at the final table.
340
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:22,927
It, uh, looks like
we're actually at your table
341
00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:24,195
in the first round.
342
00:14:33,674 --> 00:14:35,340
Damn! I'm out.
343
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:37,208
I don't really know how to play poker.
344
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,210
I don't really know why I thought I did.
345
00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:47,085
All in.
346
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:48,753
Hmm.
347
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:51,022
Are you bluffing?
348
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:56,761
Harder to read than normal, but...
I still sense something.
349
00:14:58,015 --> 00:15:00,431
I need to go deeper.
350
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:14,312
Wow. Maybe you can hide from me.
351
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:17,749
Still, my first instinct was call.
352
00:15:18,852 --> 00:15:20,118
A pair of 8s.
353
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:23,121
Sweet 16!
354
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:25,324
Absolutely nothing!
355
00:15:25,326 --> 00:15:27,658
The toilet flush!
356
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:31,530
The underaged boy wins the round!
357
00:15:31,532 --> 00:15:34,065
♪ We saved our mom today ♪
358
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,201
♪ We saved that mom! ♪
359
00:15:36,203 --> 00:15:37,536
Mom?
360
00:15:37,538 --> 00:15:40,005
W-Where are you going?
361
00:15:40,007 --> 00:15:42,541
Did we save you?
362
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:53,551
♪ On a humid, swampy evening ♪
363
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:56,621
♪ In a swamp boat
bound for Swampville ♪
364
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:59,223
♪ The Pink Sphinx was a-taken ♪
365
00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:01,425
♪ To where, she could not ask ♪
366
00:16:01,427 --> 00:16:04,496
♪ 'Cause she died inside her mind ♪
367
00:16:04,498 --> 00:16:06,965
♪ To try to hide her tells ♪
368
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:13,037
♪ And what was once a poker
face is now a death mask ♪
369
00:16:13,902 --> 00:16:16,975
Oh, it looks like winnin'
just wasn't in the cards,
370
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,176
my little moss blossom.
371
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,577
But don't worry.
372
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:23,648
You can spend eternity here,
in my big old wet casino
373
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:26,785
in the dead, dark heart of the swamp!
374
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:39,731
♪ Well, the swamp witch
had old Francine ♪
375
00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:42,400
♪ And there was no one
that could stop her ♪
376
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:44,936
♪ Then along came her penitent kids ♪
377
00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:48,740
♪ And a handsome man named me ♪
378
00:16:50,911 --> 00:16:52,331
Hey, Mom.
379
00:16:52,366 --> 00:16:54,746
Keep runnin' into you at casinos.
380
00:16:54,748 --> 00:16:57,816
Uh, but it seems like we
maybe didn't save you?
381
00:16:57,818 --> 00:17:00,618
It seems like we maybe... doomed you...
382
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:03,021
Because we didn't understand
what was going on?
383
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:08,292
Well, well, well.
If it isn't the Gambler.
384
00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:09,494
Frog Rose.
385
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:10,762
You think you're such hot gumbo
386
00:17:10,764 --> 00:17:13,231
because Kenny Rogers
wrote a song about you.
387
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:17,702
Well, Fred Schneider of the B-52s
wrote "Rock Lobster"
388
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:22,507
after he saw moi get a nasty
sunburn at Rehoboth Beach.
389
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:25,577
Excuse me, but we want to
take our mom away from here.
390
00:17:25,579 --> 00:17:28,713
Unfortunately, I own her marker,
391
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,048
and at the rate I'm paying her,
392
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:33,852
she won't be free to
leave in this lifetime.
393
00:17:33,854 --> 00:17:38,256
What if we play you for her...
in a game of poker?
394
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:40,959
What are you putting up for stake?
395
00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:44,662
Us. We'll work here forever too.
396
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:47,532
Ooh! That's what I was hoping you'd say!
397
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:50,068
I love that kind of shit.
398
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:55,006
Now join me at my spookiest table.
399
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:58,210
So, which one of you kids am I playing?
400
00:17:58,212 --> 00:18:00,745
You'll be playing... Mom.
401
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,280
She's the Pink Sphinx,
402
00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:05,349
and you'll never get a read
on her in a million years.
403
00:18:05,351 --> 00:18:06,751
You want to pick her?
404
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:10,022
She's a drooler, boy...
un zombo du zwamp,
405
00:18:10,024 --> 00:18:12,957
a fan boat with no gas, as it were.
406
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:15,693
Only because she thinks
we don't believe in her.
407
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,829
Maybe? Is that it?
408
00:18:17,831 --> 00:18:20,832
Why won't you talk?!
409
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:29,708
And now, with her own children at stake,
410
00:18:29,710 --> 00:18:32,777
she'll surely shake
off whatever this is!
411
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,512
Please, Mom!
412
00:18:41,098 --> 00:18:43,255
If she doesn't play before
the game timer is up,
413
00:18:43,257 --> 00:18:44,589
she forfeits.
414
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:46,858
What?
Where did this hourglass come from?
415
00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:49,594
Gator goons, this game is in the bag,
416
00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:52,864
and you're about to have
two more cursed co-workers.
417
00:18:52,866 --> 00:18:55,667
You're gonna have badges and everything.
418
00:18:55,669 --> 00:18:57,135
No breaks, though.
419
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:02,006
I can't read anything.
420
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,408
She's not there!
421
00:19:10,951 --> 00:19:12,817
I got you!
422
00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:16,288
You thought I was dead,
and I [BLEEP] got you!
423
00:19:16,290 --> 00:19:17,355
- She's back!
- Mom's back!
424
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:18,957
You little rat punks.
425
00:19:18,959 --> 00:19:22,294
You know me so well from
reading my frickin' body,
426
00:19:22,296 --> 00:19:26,298
you can tell I'm upset before
I'm ready to talk about it!
427
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:27,632
Wow. We didn't...
428
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:30,435
Shut up! I'm ready to talk about it now.
429
00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:32,036
I am upset!
430
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:34,106
I don't like game night!
431
00:19:34,108 --> 00:19:36,108
I don't like this swamp!
432
00:19:36,110 --> 00:19:37,509
I don't like poker!
433
00:19:37,511 --> 00:19:39,711
I do like your father in fur.
434
00:19:39,713 --> 00:19:43,115
I don't like you accusing
me of being upset,
435
00:19:43,117 --> 00:19:45,249
especially when I am!
436
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:47,652
And I don't like these cards!
437
00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,721
Don't say that in front of you-know-who.
438
00:19:49,723 --> 00:19:51,523
I can't win with this trash...
439
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:54,061
2 of diamonds, 6 of hearts.
440
00:19:54,096 --> 00:19:54,726
Trash!
441
00:19:54,728 --> 00:19:57,929
You're not really telling me
your cards, are you?
442
00:19:57,931 --> 00:20:00,332
What is this? What's the play?
443
00:20:00,334 --> 00:20:02,467
No play. I have a bad hand.
444
00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:05,603
All you have to do is stay in
the game and you'll beat me.
445
00:20:06,286 --> 00:20:09,941
Cute. But I'm too smart
for that old trick.
446
00:20:09,943 --> 00:20:11,610
I fold.
447
00:20:14,575 --> 00:20:16,548
Of all the foie grotten luck!
448
00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:18,616
I tricked myself!
449
00:20:19,145 --> 00:20:20,786
I guess this is mine.
450
00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:23,555
Time's up! You lose!
451
00:20:23,557 --> 00:20:25,690
What?! No!
452
00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:29,093
We came all the way out to
the mangrove table for this?
453
00:20:32,766 --> 00:20:35,767
♪ Well, you better know your mother ♪
454
00:20:35,769 --> 00:20:38,970
♪ When you're teasin'
her on game night ♪
455
00:20:38,972 --> 00:20:41,639
♪ Know when to bother her ♪
456
00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,575
♪ Know when's enough ♪
457
00:20:43,577 --> 00:20:46,378
♪ And you should count your money ♪
458
00:20:46,380 --> 00:20:49,581
♪ With one of those fast and
accurate counting machines ♪
459
00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:51,916
♪ Kenny Rogers is a liar ♪
460
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:55,253
♪ Sometimes a cliff's a bluff ♪
461
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,656
That's the take. That's the one.
462
00:20:58,192 --> 00:21:00,125
Have a great night!
463
00:21:02,189 --> 00:21:03,912
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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