All language subtitles for Krapopolis.S01E10.720p.x264-FENiX

- Morning.
Just came to get some milk.

- Oh, we don't have any.

- But you're a dairy farmer.

You need to have milk.

- Can't get milk without cows.

- Where are all the cows?

- Oh, asskill borrowed them.
Said you'd be fine with it.

- I'm not.
- Well, then let's go to war!

- That seems drastic.

Plus, you know,
we'd definitely lose.

- Well, that's what you said
when he borrowed all our goats!

- Still true today.

- Oh, hey, neighbor!
How's life?

- Milkless.

- Funny, we used to have
that problem.

- Did you really need
to borrow all our cows?

Could we get maybe
a couple back?

- I would, but
we're grilling steaks tonight.

- Steaks?
Like cow steaks?

- Well, we can't eat goats.

Again.

While I'm here, we should
also take these chickens.

- Oh, come on.
- I only need them for...

Ever.
- What are we supposed to eat?

- Try people.
We used to eat it all the time

Before we got so good
at farming.

- Taking all our livestock
isn't farming.

- All I know is
we're good at it.

[chickens clucking]
- why didn't you stop him?

- He's just so big.

[mysterious upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Whoo!

- Good morning, family.

- If you're looking for milk,

It's being eaten by selectively
progressive cannibals.

- No need.
I drink pegasus milk.

- Where'd did you get that?

- From its udder.

How amazing is the udder?

Multiple boobs
shaped like wieners.

Genius.

- Hold up. Does our family
have a pegasus somewhere?

- Your mother and her husband
have a pegasus somewhere.

And it will remain that way.

- Good call, my goddess.

What's cracking
in current events?

Written language
continues to be delayed,

If that's what
this drawing means.

Ah, my father died.

Oh, no! Sandals cost 20 olives
a pair now!

I myself never wear the things,
but if inflation gets invented,

It could lead
to inventing recession.

- Excuse me?
Your father died?

We have a grandfather?

Did you ever plan
on telling us that?

- No. And now you don't have
one, so problem solved.

This sandal news though,
it's got me feeling feelings.

- Can we get back
to the pegasus?

- No.

- Is my grandfather
going to have a funeral?

- In the sense that his death
will be celebrated,

Yes, probably by thousands.

He was what monsters call
"a monster's schmuck."

- I want to at least
see him buried.

- Have a blast.
He lived that way, persia-ish.

- I want to see the pegasus.

- No.

- Dad, I mean, I think
the two of us should go.

Was grandpa really so bad?

- He was fine.

And I say that not
because it's true

But because judging others
was his gimmick.

And I am the opposite of him,
and therefore, mm, the coolest.

- I agree.
Tyrannis, don't be a nag.

- Very well.

I'll just be
a third generation of sons

To quietly resent their father.

Or will I be the fourth?

I don't suppose refusing
to attend a father's funeral

Is something your father
would have done.

- You majestically crafty
son of a bitch.

Game on.

Get ready to attend

The living crap out of
a dead control freak's burial

With his
impressively ambivalent son.

Deliria, be a dear and milk
you-know-what while I'm gone.

- Of course.

- Pegasus!
- Totally.

She's going to
milk the pegasus.

[tyrannis struggling]

- Could I interest you
in a saddle?

- You're lucky
to be riding me at all.

- Phrase that differently
in public.

Both:
Pegasus! Pegasus! Pegasus!

- You will never be near it.

Both: [whining] why?

- Because then you'll want
to ride it, which you can't.

- Why?

- The actual answer to that

Is incredibly long
and complicated.

If you seek out this beast,
you will regret it.

Promise you will not do it.

Both: We promise.

- How long before we do it?

- That felt long enough.

- Is this where you grew up?

Does this mean I'm persian?

Is that a race?

Do--do I have a race?

- Why do humans want
to have races?

- I don't know.

Seems cool, adds some flavor.
Is that bad?

- I can't imagine it
ever going wrong.

[crowd cheering]
well, there he is.

And he's technically
being buried. Happy?

- Everyone else certainly is.

Would you like
to stand by the body,

Maybe pay your disrespects?

- No. If those people really
understood the old bastard,

They'd realize taking a dump
on him is his final revenge.

When you hate a hater,
you spread their hate.

Now, here's how
you really defeat my dad.

Check this out.

Ah, dead dad.
No big whoop.

- That makes me proud
of you, dad.

See what's happening?
We're bonding.

We understand each other
better now.

Hey, disappointing dads club.

- That's not really
the sort of thing

That makes me want
to high five.

- Fair enough.

- Shlub!
- Belinda.

This is belinda,
my father's witch.

- You got fatter.

- Well, you're as ugly as ever.

- Is that any way
to speak to an ex-lover?

- Really, dad?

- What?
She's a witch ten!

And witch sex is the best sex.

I think being evil
makes them work harder...

- La-la-la-la-la!
- If that makes sense.

- Look, if you're not
going to listen--

- Thank you.
- What do you want, belinda?

- Well, you know how
I was responsible

For all your father's cursing.

- There's a taste
of the old man for you.

He outsourced curses.

- Now that he's gone,

I'm offering to remove them
at a discount.

I bet you've got a few.

- I'm sure I've got dozens,
but no, thank you.

- You're going to just accept
your father's curses?

- The point of cursing
is to assert power.

If I acknowledge his power,
he wins, son.

- Oh, are you his son?
I wonder if--

Oh, yeah,
looks like I cursed you

When you were still
in your mother's womb.

Isn't that adorable?

- I'm cursed?
With what?

- I don't keep records, kid.
No written language yet.

- Ah, I was just
not reading about that.

- Kindly remove my curse,
madam.

- Keep it, son.

Don't give him
the satisfaction.

- Dad, hear me on this.

Your need to not let your
father control and define you

Is controlling
and defining you.

- Ouch.
Sick burn, as the humans say.

You do you.

- Tell you what.
I'll do this one on the house

In return for when your dad
did me on the house.

Both: If chimneys could talk.

- Can you also remove this
conversation from my memory?

[ethereal shimmering sound]
- there you go.

You're curse-free.
- That's it?

I expected a bit more,
you know,

Light and magic,
a little showmanship.

- You want a show,
hire a clown.

- Have we had enough fun,
or would you like

To spoon the dead body
of your favorite new relative?

- Nah, we can go.

The nerve of the guy
that cursed your unborn child.

He never even met me.

- And yet, now,
you know him better than most.

[soft dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Whoa!
- It's an actual pegasus.

- Does it look kind of sad?

- Of course it does.
It's chained to a wall.

This is awful.
- Poor peggy. Are you sad?

Look,
mom said we can't ride it,

But she didn't say
we can't free it.

- That's clever, but I don't
think it gets us out of dying.

- Whatever. I'm doing it.
I'll take the heat.

[grunts] that's better.
- And?

- Now that we're in trouble
anyway...

- May as well ride it.
- Makes perfect sense.

[both screaming in delight]

[wondrous upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[vases shattering]

♪ ♪

Ooh!
[grunts and laughs]

- Hey!

- My turn.

Whoa!
Ow!

Gah!

- Let's do another lap
around the city.

- Okay.
[grunting]

Uh, peggy,
requesting a turn back here.

[grunts]
it's not responding.

Come on, pegasus!
Take us down!

We freed you.
Be cool, bro.

- Okay, you flying donkey.

You land right now or
I'm going to get real stabby.

- Yeah, great idea.

Let's kill the thing we're
soaring through the sky on.

- I'm not hearing
your pitches.

Whoa!

Are unicorns baby pegasuses?
[insect-like chittering]

Both: Ow.

- Are unicorn horns stingers?

Oof!
- Ow!

I can't move.

Convince them to put
their necks up to my mouth.

- Hey!
- Whoa!

[unicorns whinnying]
[insect-like chittering]

[ominous music]

[pegasus neighs]

[skittering hoofbeats]

♪ ♪

[squishing]
[pegasus neighs]

♪ ♪

- No, no, no!

[person screaming]
no! No!

[person screaming]

- Remember when mom told us

The reason not to ride
the pegasus was complicated?

- I know. I'm really
kicking myself right now.

[upbeat music]

- What a day.

Will we ever know
what that curse was?

Maybe it was wiener size!

Specifically the curse
of it being so massive.

Yeah, I can tell I'm back
to whatever the average is.

- Good save.

And hey,
I appreciate you making me go.

You may be stubborn and needy,
but you're nothing like him.

- Thanks, dad.
I'd rather be like you.

Mostly, minus maybe
the explicit verbal sojourns.

- Right, I'm off to bed
with your mother

And a servant or two.

- Blocking it out.

♪ ♪

[griffin crowing]

[bigger griffon shrieks]

- Tyrannis, have you seen
either of your siblings?

You know who I mean.

The big, dumb one
and the goo gremlin?

Oh, gross.

Probably dreaming about
civic responsibility.

- Oh, why does my ass
feel weird?

- It would seem that

You've pooed a tail.
[tyrannis screams]

[tyrannis screams]
- what's happening?

Oh, yes.
Look at this handsome devil.

- I thought I was uncursed.
How is this an uncurse?

- Well, a standard hex
to put on an unborn child

Would be deformity.

- And having no tail

Would fit your father's
definition of hideous.

You're lucky you woke up
with a full-sized brain.

- You're telling me
this is my natural body?

I'm not human?

- Personally, I consider
humanity a construct.

All humans are descended
from gods and monsters.

But by strict definitions,
I guess he's right.

What is he now, darling?
Scorpitaur?

- Humonstro?

- Stingagon.

- Stop figuring out
what I am in front of me.

I'm the king of a human city.
This will cost me my job.

My subjects need to trust
that I'm one of them.

I'm a freak!

No offense.
- None taken.

To me, you now look
less like a freak.

And to be clear,
I loved you then and now.

- Agreed.
The tail hardly compromises.

Not nearly as much
as the spindly arms,

The turnip-y nose--

- Thank you, support system.

Please find that witch
and get me re-cursed.

In the meantime,
I have to hide this.

Mother, may I ask to borrow
a dress without you mocking me?

- Of course!

Just don't stretch out
the neck hole

With that melon of a head
of yours.

[unicorns chomping]

- The toxin is wearing off.

I might be regaining
limited movement.

What about you?

- Due to the size differential,

I'll need a week
to shake my head no.

- I'll see what I can do
on my own.

[stupendous grunts]

[unicorn neighs]
ha!

- That's limited movement?

- I know.

It's a good thing these guys
aren't trained.

[hoofbeats thundering]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Hello!
Normal king coming through.

Oh, hey, did you ever
get those cows back?

- I did not.

- Tyrannis, hey!

You never told me
when you turned us into farmers

That animals
need so much grass!

And land!

Can we borrow some?

- You're borrowing land now?

How is that different
from invading?

- Nobody gets hurt.

- See, but right there,
when you say stuff like that,

It feels like a veiled threat.

- Honestly, we're just
a simple, backward people.

I don't know how
to veil a threat.

Can we have more chickens?

- I'm sorry, but
I'm going to have to say no.

- Or you could say, "please
stop killing me, king asskill.

It hurts so bad."

- There--there's
no need for violence.

- I didn't think so.
But now...

What the--what was that?

- It's nothing.
- It's gonna be!

[groaning]
ooh! Ah!

I can't feel my arm.
- I didn't mean it.

- You're not a man.
You're a--

- Oh, no.
I'm not a monster.

I--I mean, maybe I am,
but I don't want to be.

- Right.
Message received, friend.

- No, no, no,
that's not a veiled threat.

- We don't know what those are.

Let's go find
some wild chickens,

Since we'd hate
to be uncivilized.

[asskill sobs]

- Bad. Ass.

- I know it is.
And I apologized.

- No, I mean,
you are a badass.

- I am?

I am.

- You need to get out of here!

- There's a huge swarm of
man-eating unicorns on its way!

- Oh, yeah, the old "there's
a swarm of unicorns coming."

Nice try.

- Why would that be a thing?

- Well, who knows?

Maybe we all evacuate town
and you take our stuff.

- What does your town have?

- Nothing you can take!

The thing that makes this town
special is its defiant spirit.

We don't listen to strangers!

- That's not
a real sympathetic trait.

- Ya hear that, everybody?

We're a group of
unsympathetic townspeople!

[laughs sarcastically]
so what?

- Okay, bye.

[hoofbeats thundering]

- Any other issues
before we move on?

Yes, steve?

- I feel like my proposal
wasn't taken very seriously.

[crowd grumbling]
- we took a vote, steve.

Nobody wants steve day
to be a thing.

- I do.
- Nobody else.

- Because they aren't steve,

Why should their votes
even count?

- Oh, that's not a bad point.
- Yes, it is.

That's not how democracy works.

- How do we even know
democracy is working?

- Yeah, these meetings
seem pretty chaotic.

- Yeah, all we do
is shout stuff out and argue.

[all murmuring in agreement]
- yeah, that's true.

[all gasp]

- I say we keep
giving democracy a chance.

But hey, I'm just one vote.

How about you?

You like democracy?

- Yes.
- Yes, what?

- Yes, your majesty.

- How about you, steve?

Let's make steve's vote
worth a thousand votes.

Steve, you want
to try a dictatorship?

- Steve peed in his toga
and left.

- A thousand votes
for democracy then.

All opposed?

I hereby declare you all
empowered and excused.

[ominous music]
so why are you still here?

- Learning to use that thing,
I see.

- I'd be better at it
if I'd grown up with one.

But someone disappointed
their own father enough

To get me cursed.

- Ironic too,

Since he would have loved
your new leadership style.

- Oh, am I letting down
the letdown?

You going to do something
about it?

- We are not fighting
because I am not like him.

Neither are you.

You're sweet and weak
and ticklish.

You like that?
Hoo-hoo!

[both laughing]

- Okay, okay.
Okay, stop.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, dad.

I lost control. You're right.
I'll--I'll be careful.

- That's all I ask,
you silly, ticklish,

Cute, little--ooh, hoo, yeah.

- [giggling]
seriously, seriously.

Stop, stop.

[dramatic musical flourish]

- I've got even better advice.

- Ah!
- Stop taking advice.

- Why am I imagining
you talking?

- 'cause you need
to listen to yourself.

We both know
I'm more than just a tail.

I'm the key to the lock on
a world that should be yours.

♪ you can be
a legendary king ♪

♪ all it takes is
just one sting ♪

♪ take out cities one by one ♪

♪ killing jerks
is proper fun ♪

♪ you could be
the baddest king around ♪

♪ bigger palaces ♪

♪ golden chalices ♪

♪ sip the finest
of red wines ♪

♪ bed the filthiest
concubines ♪

♪ you can be
the man superior ♪

♪ with your pointy,
new posterior ♪

♪ conquer cities,
pillage tribes ♪

♪ people dig
those big tail vibes ♪

- Hey, you're not hearing that
thing singing to you, right?

- What? No.
Random.

- Good. Well,
be on the lookout for that.

It's never a good sign.

- ♪ okay, it's true,
I'd like some respect ♪

- ♪ eye contact's
the least I expect ♪

- ♪ or servants
who won't spit in my glass! ♪

- ♪ maybe it's time
to use my brand-new ass ♪

- This time,
I'm quite sure I heard singing.

- Because you're
an insane person.

This family needs boundaries.

- Killasses has agreed
to return your cows.

- [whistles]
that's incredible!

Thank you so much.
You're a great king.

- And you're an okay farmer.

But since
I'm taking all the risks,

Maybe you could do more for me.

- Hmm.
Like what?

- A bucket of fresh milk
delivered to the palace daily.

- That's more than I can spare.

But I'll give you as much

As, uh--
- buddy, buddy.

- Please, don't use that.

- Don't be scared.

It only gets twitchy
when I haven't had enough milk.

I don't know why you're upset.
This is a huge bargain.

Your life isn't even
worth a lot.

- If I give you all my milk,
I'll die.

- I think that may be
the complete opposite

Of what's going to kill you.

I can prove it!

- Tyrannis, if you're just
going to become my father,

Then I may as well
stop trying not to become him.

And then maybe,
I will be a better father

By doing
what he would never do,

Which is change,
even if it means becoming him.

- I haven't the slightest idea
what you're saying.

- [grunts]
I'm saying I'm done talking.

- About time.

Feels right, doesn't it?

Any father weaker than a son
doesn't deserve one.

- You sound like my father.
- You sound like his son.

- I'm supposed to.
- Good.

- You gotta help us!

- The unicorns are coming
to kill us all!

- Hmm, that sounds like
a you problem.

Immortal being in the house.

- We messed up.
We should have listened to you.

- Well,
that is always the lesson.

- If pegasuses
are so dangerous,

Why didn't you just tell us
that in the first place?

- I told you
it was complicated.

Now you started
a new pegasi life cycle--

[thudding and grunting]

- Take that.
[both grunting]

- What the hell is that about?
- I don't know.

- I have a great idea.
Guys! Guys!

You stop fighting each other

And start
fighting the unicorn swarm.

- That's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.

- We're fighting each other.

Why would fighting unicorns
make us like each other again?

And more importantly,
why are there unicorns coming?

Did you free that damn pegasus?

- Yes, father.
Give in to your anger.

Father them.

Father your children
with your rage!

- I'll do nothing of the sort!

[dramatic music]

- Okay,
so I guess I'm out of ideas.

- Mom, what should we do?

- Whatever I tell you to.

Now, I believe
the natural enemy

Of the unicorn is the cobra,

So I just need
to summon a bunch of those

And the problem
should solve itself.

[all screaming]

Right.

It looks like they both hate
people more than each other.

Should have seen that coming.
[cobras hissing]

- Your father was right.

If I want people to listen
to me, they need to be afraid.

- People were afraid of him,
but they also hated him.

- My people hate me!

- And you still try
and make their lives better.

- Because I was a sucker.

Not anymore.
Now I have this!

- [grunts] is that the best
you've got, bitch?

- Should we be helping?
This was all our fault.

- At this point,
we'd just get in the way.

- Yes, you had no tail
because of a curse,

But that does not make the
man you became less natural.

My father's hatred
drove me away.

[grunts]

It made me different.

That's why I met your mother.

And it's why
I raised you differently.

[pegasus snorts]
- [grunts]

Ow!

Oh, you want to fight dirty?
Good.

[grunts]

[pegasus neighs]

- And it's why you're the way
you were without a tail,

A good man, a kind man,
a man that makes me proud.

- You really feel that way?
- I do.

- I wish you'd told me sooner.

- [chomping]
- you're a horrible father!

- That's more like it.

- I do hope you two have
learned some kind of lesson.

- Uh, that you shouldn't
lock up a dangerous monster

Just because you like its milk?

- That you don't
ride your father's pegasus.

- How much better
could pegasus milk taste?

It can't possibly
be worth all this.

- Take a pull.

- Oh, that's special.

- I want to try.
[grunting]

- Kids, take your greedy mouths
off my pegasus!

- What happened to tyrannis?

- Removed a curse,
grew a tail, turned evil.

- Oh, man.
Now my butt seems so boring.

- Now I've got to take him
to see a witch

And get the curse put back.

- How is belinda?

- Somehow even more disgusting
than I remember.

- You're going to sleep
with her, aren't you?

- For my son,
I'll do whatever it takes.

[soft dramatic music]

- Oh, where am I?

- The witch's house.

You'll be happy to hear
she's agreed to re-curse you.

- That's great.

I wasn't ready
for that kind of power.

And I really didn't
want to have to

Cut a tail hole
in all my togas.

- Unfortunately, witches
don't do anything for free.

- Not every father would
have sex with a witch

To help their son,
so thank you.

I love you, dad.
- I love you too.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
duty calls.

[chuckles]

[belinda giggling]

Ooh, yes, please! Oh!

[both giggling]

- I really appreciate
you returning our livestock.

Well, what's left of it,
anyway.

- Turns out farming isn't
as easy as you made it look.

This is kind of on you.

- If you're giving up
on farming,

What are you going to eat?

- We're going back
to cannibalism.

It's the most efficient system.

People get old or sick,
we recycle them. Into meals.

- That sounds
surprisingly sustainable.

Good to have everything
back to normal.

[tyrannis groans]
- next time you grow a tail,

Hopefully
you'll use it responsibly.

- I guess I did deserve...
Something.

Though this probably
could have been handled

With a sincere apology.

- Feel free
to stop by killasses

If you want to borrow a couple
of un-smashed testicles...

Neighbor.

- [groans]

[coughs]

[hooves clopping]
[flies buzzing]

[cows mooing]

- Did you get any of that?

- Bento.
[all cheering]