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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,398 --> 00:00:08,356 Mm. 2 00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:15,363 Gave us a load of free ones 'cause I told them that it's-- 3 00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:16,712 -Told them what? -Mm-mm. 4 00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:22,370 Just... how much we love condiments. Mm. 5 00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:32,684 -This is nice. -Hmm. 6 00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:34,208 Two haddock, one saveloy! 7 00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:36,558 Oh. Oh, this is good fish. 8 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,213 Mmm. 9 00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:41,606 Mmm. 10 00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:44,305 Batter's good and all. 11 00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:49,397 And the chips. 12 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,313 -Good chips. Good, um-- -Good color. 13 00:00:52,356 --> 00:00:54,445 Thank you. Not too pale. 14 00:00:54,489 --> 00:00:55,925 Look, you all wanted me to do something, 15 00:00:55,968 --> 00:00:57,753 so this is something we're doing, so let's just 16 00:00:57,796 --> 00:01:00,234 get this done and forget about it, okay? 17 00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:02,758 Move on. Great. 18 00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:05,195 But, Mum, your 50th birthday, though, isn't-- 19 00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:07,589 Can you... You don't need to keep saying it. 20 00:01:07,632 --> 00:01:09,025 -What? -The fucking number, Luke. 21 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,201 You know what? Fucking 50. 22 00:01:13,551 --> 00:01:16,163 Can you pass me one of the 5 billion vinegars, please? 23 00:01:17,294 --> 00:01:20,819 Thanks very much. For fuck's sake. 24 00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:24,214 Uh, two fish pies, one cod roe! 25 00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:26,477 Would have thought you'd have a bit of fish today, Luke. 26 00:01:26,521 --> 00:01:28,262 -Special occasion. -He's a vegetarian. 27 00:01:28,305 --> 00:01:30,568 Mm. Fish, though. I mean... 28 00:01:30,612 --> 00:01:32,440 Fish actually grieve their dead. 29 00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:34,790 -Do they? -They release a stress hormone. 30 00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:36,922 Jesus Christ, Luke. 31 00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:40,317 Sorry. Hasan says it's your 50th, love. 32 00:01:40,361 --> 00:01:41,449 Happy birthday. 33 00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:43,233 -Well... -Happy birthday! 34 00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:46,236 The big 5-0! Yay! 35 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:47,629 Hey, thanks, everyone. 36 00:01:47,672 --> 00:01:49,674 One steak pie, two cod! 37 00:02:00,468 --> 00:02:03,340 -You gonna try 'em on? -I'm mid gingernut. 38 00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:07,257 Well, I can't stand looking at those other things anymore. 39 00:02:07,301 --> 00:02:09,781 They turn my stomach. 40 00:02:09,825 --> 00:02:11,827 There's nothing wrong with these. 41 00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:15,309 They make you look like you never bathe, 42 00:02:15,352 --> 00:02:18,050 like a hippie or a squirrel. 43 00:02:18,094 --> 00:02:20,488 You can wear your new shoes to your 80th party, Granddad. 44 00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:22,446 There's not enough time to break them in. 45 00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:25,667 Brogues are notoriously stiff. 46 00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:27,799 No one's ever run a marathon in Brogues. 47 00:02:27,843 --> 00:02:29,975 We're getting our photo taken tomorrow. 48 00:02:30,019 --> 00:02:33,022 They've got a photographer coming in. Professional. 49 00:02:33,065 --> 00:02:36,852 He took one of those photos of Dodi and Diana on the boat, 50 00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:38,810 but he mainly does this sort of thing now. 51 00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:40,682 I'll get it. 52 00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:48,516 Hello. 53 00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:50,692 Oh. Holly. I'm here to do Jim's hair. 54 00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:55,784 Am I coming in, or is he gonna stick his head 55 00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:57,307 around the door, and I'll do it here? 56 00:02:57,351 --> 00:02:58,439 Oh, sorry. 57 00:03:03,966 --> 00:03:07,404 Uh... Okay. Your vehicle breaks down in a tunnel. 58 00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:09,014 -Spooky. -What would do you do first? 59 00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:11,060 A, get out of the car and stand behind it 60 00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:12,975 to show other drivers that you're not moving? 61 00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:15,238 Obviously not. That is... That's mental. 62 00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:17,371 B, switch on your hazards and call your breakdown company. 63 00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:22,550 -All right, shit. -Okay. Please pass, Luke. 64 00:03:22,593 --> 00:03:24,639 Please. I just... I don't wanna be one of those mums 65 00:03:24,682 --> 00:03:26,554 that gives birth on the floor of a bus. 66 00:03:26,597 --> 00:03:28,556 Don't worry. I will pass. 67 00:03:30,471 --> 00:03:31,820 -Love you. -Love you, too. 68 00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:32,908 Okay. 69 00:03:36,128 --> 00:03:38,392 Thanks for this. 70 00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:40,916 You're welcome, mate. Mate, do... do you want to drive? 71 00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:43,745 Um, no, I should--I'll keep revising in the car. 72 00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:46,878 Right. 73 00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:47,879 Okay. 74 00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:51,927 It's quite a process. 75 00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:54,669 She's gonna blast me ends in a minute with the men's dryer. 76 00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:59,761 I got a special hair dryer for the guys. 77 00:03:59,804 --> 00:04:01,719 They got stronger hair, haven't they, men? 78 00:04:01,763 --> 00:04:03,417 Only need a little breeze for the ladies. 79 00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:04,853 Knock 'em over, otherwise. 80 00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:06,985 I'm just gonna walk round the perimeter. 81 00:04:07,029 --> 00:04:09,814 One of the great English walks, that. 82 00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:13,992 Bye, Granny. 83 00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:17,909 -15 and some shrapnel. -Oh. 84 00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:19,911 I'm afraid the accumulator didn't come up, though. 85 00:04:19,955 --> 00:04:23,263 Hey, 15 quid's not bad at all. Thanks, Holly. 86 00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:26,483 I can't get to the bookies' now, so Holly goes for me. 87 00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:29,269 Okay. This whole thing makes more sense now. 88 00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:31,314 What? 89 00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,185 He's only got, like, eight hairs. 90 00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:34,796 -Ooh. -And I'm working my magic 91 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:37,015 on all eight of them, thank you very much. 92 00:04:37,059 --> 00:04:39,496 -She can do yours after. -But only eight? 93 00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:41,019 Yeah, you've got to pick your favorites. 94 00:04:43,544 --> 00:04:47,722 You got great hair. I could do yours for real. 95 00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,506 I'm always after people to practice on for sixth form. 96 00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:52,727 Thank you, Holly. 97 00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:56,121 Holly's helpin' organize my 80th birthday party. 98 00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:58,515 You two should swap numbers. 99 00:04:58,559 --> 00:05:01,170 Chat sausage rolls and quiche and whatnot. 100 00:05:01,213 --> 00:05:05,000 Yeah, go on then. Stick your number in there. 101 00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:09,483 Buckle up, Jim. 102 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,445 And you've come to us via the... 103 00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:17,055 ...inimitable Darren? 104 00:05:17,099 --> 00:05:20,145 Ah, yeah. There can only be one Darren, thank God. 105 00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:23,975 And he's your business partner? 106 00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:27,370 -Silent partner? -I mean, silent's the goal. 107 00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,938 Yeah, if I can get him to shut up for five minutes. 108 00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:34,551 -Oh, your coffee. -Gosh. 109 00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:37,554 Mm. 110 00:05:37,598 --> 00:05:39,687 Wow. Thanks. 111 00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:42,429 Thank you. Thanks. 112 00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:44,561 Cool. 113 00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:46,563 Is that for me, too? Thanks. Thanks. 114 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,697 It's lovely. 115 00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:53,004 Thanks. 116 00:05:53,788 --> 00:05:55,442 Thanks. Thank you. 117 00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:59,054 Please. 118 00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:05,016 So, we're super keen to throw open the doors here, 119 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:09,194 get as much wisdom in the room as possible. 120 00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:10,370 Sorry. You okay? 121 00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:11,719 Yeah. Yeah, no, I was... 122 00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,634 I'm just gonna let it cool down for a bit 123 00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,592 'cause it's very, very, very hot. 124 00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:18,073 What we're excited by... 125 00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:22,730 ...is the sheer breadth of your experience. 126 00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:24,166 We think that that is something 127 00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:27,909 we could really feed from here. 128 00:06:27,952 --> 00:06:30,433 Great. Well, I would love to, um... 129 00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:34,263 well... feed you, I suppose. 130 00:06:34,306 --> 00:06:35,482 That's great. 131 00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:36,831 -Mm. -Yeah. She's great. 132 00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:38,093 Yeah. 133 00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:47,319 Mmm, that smells complicated. 134 00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:48,886 -How was it? -I got it. They love me. 135 00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:51,454 Oh! Great. Well done. 136 00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:52,716 They offered me the job on the spot. 137 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,892 They didn't even wanna see the other candidate. 138 00:06:54,936 --> 00:06:57,155 Ah, mate, well, that calls for a drink. 139 00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:58,983 Uh, Luke has some good news, too. 140 00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:01,638 -Oh, yeah. -I, uh, I passed my theory. 141 00:07:01,682 --> 00:07:04,336 Oh, Luke, that's amazing. You must be so relieved. 142 00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:05,816 -Yeah, I am. -Oh. 143 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,209 Still gotta do my practical, though. 144 00:07:07,252 --> 00:07:08,776 Oh, you'll be fine. 145 00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:10,386 Um, Maya, is apple juice all right for you? 146 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,735 Yeah, yeah. Thanks. 147 00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:12,693 Did you get one of these? 148 00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:15,391 What am I looking at? 149 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:18,263 It's a walking holiday, Paul. Look at them. 150 00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:19,961 They seem very happy. 151 00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:21,484 This is my demographic now, 152 00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:23,791 these guys. Swimming costume off. 153 00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:26,446 I'm going on holiday in a fucking cagoule now, am I? 154 00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:27,969 Look, just chuck it. 155 00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:30,232 It's junk. I get that stuff all the time. 156 00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:32,974 -Am I on some sort of register? -Fuckin' hope not. 157 00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:34,628 Oh, they're gonna try and sell me a little chair 158 00:07:34,671 --> 00:07:36,020 for the shower next, aren't they? 159 00:07:36,064 --> 00:07:38,196 Oh, sounds fucking lovely, to be fair. 160 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,808 I'll take them. 161 00:07:40,851 --> 00:07:42,374 -Yeah. -Ah, shit, just remembered. 162 00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:45,508 I've got to get more booze for Dad's thing. Drink up. Drink up. 163 00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:47,075 You know he started having his hair done regularly? 164 00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:48,555 -Mm. -Can you get a blue rinse 165 00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:49,773 for a bald head? 166 00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:51,645 Holly says no one has them anymore. 167 00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:53,342 They all get this demi wave thing because 168 00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:56,388 your hair thins as you age. You lose, like, 70% volume. 169 00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:58,129 Holly says it's better just to chop it off 170 00:07:58,173 --> 00:08:00,088 after a certain point. It's just wisps otherwise. 171 00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:02,307 -Right. Uh-- -Holly's granddad's hairdresser. 172 00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:04,353 Well, not just Granddad's. She does all of them. 173 00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,747 She's paying her way through sixth form. 174 00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:08,662 She's full-time now. Well, four days a week. 175 00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:13,667 Right. A toast... to Mum and Luke. 176 00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:15,190 -Aw. -Mum and Luke. 177 00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:16,496 Yes. 178 00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:18,193 Hey, mate, play your cards right, 179 00:08:18,236 --> 00:08:19,760 you'll be driving her to work on her first day. 180 00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:22,763 Lovely. 181 00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:25,287 Just look over to me again, Bobby. 182 00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:27,071 How long is this gonna take? 183 00:08:27,115 --> 00:08:30,466 Well, they can't rush it, Jim. It's a proper portrait. 184 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,643 Portrait? Who am I, Henry the fucking VIII? 185 00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:34,862 Hello. 186 00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,952 I don't know why you won't put your new shoes on. 187 00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:40,955 Jesus, Jackie, they're not gonna get me shoes in it, are they? 188 00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:43,697 -It'll be from the knees up. -But what if it isn't? 189 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,612 What if it's, you know, what's it called? 190 00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:49,441 -Full frontal? -Full length. 191 00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:51,792 -All right, Holly. -Hello. 192 00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:54,229 I'm gonna give Leslie a quick zhuzh. 193 00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:57,667 She doesn't need a zhuzh. She needs a defibrillator. 194 00:08:57,711 --> 00:08:59,147 -Hmm. -Lovely bow tie. 195 00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:02,585 Be nice for Luke and Ava to have a proper photo of us. 196 00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:07,111 They've already got one of us in Mitcham at the carvery. 197 00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:09,113 What, and you'd want that printed 198 00:09:09,157 --> 00:09:11,507 alongside your obituary, would you? 199 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,249 Look, Jimmy's getting his shoe in it. 200 00:09:14,292 --> 00:09:15,598 Big smile! Excellent. 201 00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,165 Oh, I don't know why you won't put your shoes-- 202 00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:19,254 Because they're me last shoes, aren't they? 203 00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:22,083 I've had these ones seven years, 204 00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:24,259 so the next pair will be me last. 205 00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:28,393 -They're a dead man's shoes. -Just a pair of shoes. 206 00:09:28,437 --> 00:09:30,657 It's the pair of shoes I'm gonna be buried in. 207 00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:31,962 Thank you. How's everything? 208 00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:36,053 Well, I'm not burying you in those old ones. 209 00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:41,102 I'd rather you went in barefoot or in my slippers. 210 00:09:41,145 --> 00:09:44,540 I can't put the new ones on, Jackie. Not yet. 211 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:48,152 Right. Let's try a fun one, shall we? 212 00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:50,502 -That's brilliant. -Oh, for crying out loud. 213 00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:51,939 Can I have the next victim, please? 214 00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:02,471 Hey. Are... Are they finished? 215 00:10:02,514 --> 00:10:03,820 Oh, no, they're still queuing. 216 00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:05,953 Is Mr. January doing his nude shots? 217 00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:08,695 Yes. It's getting very steamy in there. 218 00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:10,871 I was gonna get a tea 219 00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:13,134 -if you want one. -Sure. 220 00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:26,974 Susie's back in town! Hooray! 221 00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:28,889 What was it? A wedding? Any good? 222 00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:31,065 Oh, six out of 10. Could do better. 223 00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:33,676 Ooh. God, you forget the vicar might be judging you. 224 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,026 Well, they didn't bring out those canapés quick enough. 225 00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:37,419 It's like, I'm not saying long, lads. 226 00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:39,987 Get the arancini balls movin'! 227 00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:43,991 I only started coming for a bit of extra cash, 228 00:10:44,034 --> 00:10:47,168 but turns out I love old people. 229 00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:50,171 They are excellent, the ones I know, anyway. 230 00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:53,217 They're just so good at chilling. Look at 'em. 231 00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:57,352 They've been there for hours, just lookin', thinkin', 232 00:10:57,395 --> 00:10:59,006 appreciatin' the small things, you know? 233 00:10:59,049 --> 00:11:01,399 Is it possible that they can't actually get up? 234 00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:03,184 Maybe we should check their pulses. 235 00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:06,187 Are you disrespecting Gwen and Michael? 236 00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:08,058 You're lucky Gwen ain't got her hearing aids in. 237 00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:12,846 That's all I want. You know, simple stuff. 238 00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:15,152 Nice house. 239 00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:17,154 Nice girlfriend. Nice dog. 240 00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:24,292 I've always wanted a dog, but it wouldn't be fair on it. 241 00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:25,554 Living in a city? 242 00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:27,687 No, living with my dad. 243 00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:33,475 -So, what you do for fun? -I don't know. 244 00:11:33,518 --> 00:11:36,696 I've never been great at having fun. 245 00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:40,395 -Maybe I'm too serious. -Uh, bollocks. You're hilarious. 246 00:11:40,438 --> 00:11:43,050 But I mean, you should have a hobby. 247 00:11:43,093 --> 00:11:46,053 -Like what? -I don't know. Pick one. 248 00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:48,055 Uh... roller skatin'? 249 00:11:48,098 --> 00:11:49,752 -Roller skatin'? -Yeah. 250 00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:51,711 I haven't been either, so... 251 00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:53,408 we could... break our legs together? 252 00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:58,718 They're probably done by now, and I said I... I should go in. 253 00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:01,895 Yeah, okay. Well, I'll... see you at the party, then. 254 00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:03,418 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 255 00:12:11,426 --> 00:12:12,906 Bag. 256 00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:18,302 -Afternoon, love. -Hi, can I-- 257 00:12:18,346 --> 00:12:20,261 -What can I get you? -A red wine, please. 258 00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:27,834 Hi, Darren. Yeah. No, yeah, it went brilliantly, thanks. 259 00:12:27,877 --> 00:12:30,750 Yeah. Oh, did they? Oh, that's good. 260 00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,318 Sorry. What do you mean? 261 00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:37,974 Are you joking me? 262 00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:40,803 You better be fucking joking me, Darren. 263 00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:46,940 I don't even think I should look, really, 264 00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:48,376 you know, until I've passed. 265 00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:50,117 Well, you're not gonna jinx yourself by staring 266 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,771 at a Renault Clio for 10 minutes. 267 00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,949 Sort of want to know who the owner was. 268 00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,298 Yeah, you probably don't. 269 00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:58,865 -How we gettin' on? -Jesus. 270 00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:00,301 Uh, yeah, just looking. Cheers. Yeah. 271 00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:02,738 Yeah, for you, is it? Little back and forth to uni? 272 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,958 Just want the safest one, really. 273 00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:07,177 -It's, uh, it's for a baby. -Don't let a baby drive it, 274 00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:08,309 for God's sake. They haven't really got 275 00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:10,180 the hand-eye coordination for that. 276 00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:11,791 -Well, that's exciting stuff. -Hmm. 277 00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:12,835 Yeah. Congratulations. 278 00:13:14,532 --> 00:13:16,056 So, we're just gonna have a little, uh, mooch about. 279 00:13:16,099 --> 00:13:17,797 You're gonna wanna look at boot space. 280 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,320 -Gotcha. -Yeah. Babies need a lot of kit. 281 00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:20,625 -Right. -Honestly, whether you're 282 00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:22,323 going out for three hours or three weeks, 283 00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:24,064 -it's the same amount of stuff. -Yeah. 284 00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:26,806 -Come on. Let's have a look. -Why did you... 285 00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,027 No, we're not buying this one. 286 00:13:31,071 --> 00:13:32,333 You could fit in there, you could, 287 00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:33,638 and he's gonna want to, isn't he, Dad, hey? 288 00:13:33,682 --> 00:13:36,380 Get a bit of peace and quiet. Come on. 289 00:13:36,424 --> 00:13:38,295 Let's have a poke around at her insides, shall we? 290 00:13:39,775 --> 00:13:42,865 -I'm gonna fucking kill him! -Well, I'll be your alibi. 291 00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:45,041 Well, they'll believe me because privilege. 292 00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:48,349 -And he definitely knew before? -Yeah, they told him 'cause 293 00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:51,004 they've had shit from their HR guys about ageism or whatever, 294 00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:54,529 so he's wheeled me in like a rescue hag. 295 00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:58,011 They just needed someone over my... my age. 296 00:13:58,054 --> 00:14:00,404 Over 50? 297 00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:02,102 You're gonna have to say it at some point. 298 00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:03,581 Let's get another 50 bottles of this, then. 299 00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:06,193 -All right, I'm on it. -Nearly done. 300 00:14:08,108 --> 00:14:10,719 Did anything grab you back there? 301 00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:12,677 Quite like the idea of being locked in a boot. 302 00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:14,505 No, me, too. 303 00:14:14,549 --> 00:14:17,595 A cross between a spa and a kidnapping. 304 00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,467 -You're driving. -What? 305 00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:20,381 -Ta. -No... 306 00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:37,398 -You all right? -Yeah. Just, um... sometimes 307 00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:39,356 feel like my elbows get in the way. Where... Where... 308 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,228 -Where do you put yours? -Where do I put them? 309 00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:42,664 -Yeah. -In the glove compartment. 310 00:14:42,707 --> 00:14:44,884 That way I know where they are. Oh, right. 311 00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:47,190 He's... He's letting you out, so do you want to go right here? 312 00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:48,365 -Yeah. -Great. 313 00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:51,281 Good, good, good. Thanks, mate. 314 00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:53,936 Lovely. 315 00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:57,026 Very good. Very good, mate. 316 00:14:57,070 --> 00:14:58,854 Just pick up your speed a little bit. 317 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,421 Uh, this is a really fast road. 318 00:15:00,464 --> 00:15:02,423 It's not really fast. It's a... It's a 30, 319 00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:04,642 so just... yeah, put... put your foot down, mate. 320 00:15:04,686 --> 00:15:06,383 Dad, I can't. I need... I need to stop. 321 00:15:06,427 --> 00:15:08,385 Luke, Luke, just calm down. Keep going straight along this road. 322 00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:10,300 -Shit. I can't. Dad, I can't. -No, you don't... Just... 323 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:12,259 -I... I need to pull over. -Luke, you don't have 324 00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:14,217 -to pull over, darling. -Listen to what I'm telling you. 325 00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:15,610 Dad, I can't do it! 326 00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:18,743 Luke, calm the fuck down just for a second, mate. 327 00:15:18,787 --> 00:15:20,223 -There's no need to pull over. -I'm not doing that. 328 00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:22,095 Luke, carry on now. Don't fucking stop. 329 00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:38,198 -You all right? -Can't do it, Dad. 330 00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:40,113 Well, it would help if you sat in the actual car. 331 00:15:40,156 --> 00:15:41,941 No, I mean, I can't do any of it. 332 00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,638 I'm not... I'm not ready. 333 00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:44,987 Well, you're gonna have to be, aren't you, Luke? 334 00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:46,467 Because it's happening, son, 335 00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:48,817 and it's happening pretty fucking soon. 336 00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:51,820 So I just... I learn to drive, and then I get a car, 337 00:15:51,863 --> 00:15:54,779 and then... I'm just a dad then, am I? 338 00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:56,129 Basically, yes. 339 00:15:58,348 --> 00:16:00,089 It's scary. I know. I'm still scared. 340 00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:01,482 That bit never goes. 341 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,226 -All right, what should I say? -Short and sweet. 342 00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:07,836 Just, "Fuck off." 343 00:16:07,879 --> 00:16:10,491 -Yeah. -Subject heading. nothing else. 344 00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:13,276 Perfect. That'll just really freak him out. 345 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,800 Your skills are wasted on Jesus. 346 00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:18,020 "Fuck off." 347 00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:20,153 Send. 348 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:26,202 You don't have to feel ready for it, 'cause no one does. 349 00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:28,726 You just... uh... You just do it. 350 00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:31,077 You know, you get up in the morning, 351 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,340 and you... you just do it best you can. 352 00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:36,299 And some days it will be... 353 00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:38,998 Uh... well, it'll be fucking horrific... 354 00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:40,695 to be honest with you. 355 00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:44,003 You'll wanna put your head through a wall, but... 356 00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:46,744 much of the time... 357 00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:48,572 it'll feel magical, mate. 358 00:16:48,616 --> 00:16:51,358 Like you're gonna meet this little person, 359 00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:54,013 and you are going to lose your mind 360 00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:56,363 in the most brilliant way. 361 00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:57,886 And listen, don't forget, mate, 362 00:16:57,929 --> 00:17:00,976 me and Mum will be with you every step of the way. 363 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,239 We can still be the grownups when you need us to be. Okay? 364 00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:13,380 Now, come on. 365 00:17:13,423 --> 00:17:15,077 Mum said she's had three bottles of wine 366 00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:16,470 and not enough crisps. 367 00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:20,691 Mm, this bit. Wait, hang on. 368 00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:24,347 Yeah, this is it. 369 00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:31,093 -Who are you messaging? -No one. 370 00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:34,096 You're... You're smiling at your phone. 371 00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:36,316 It's just for Granddad's thing. 372 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:37,578 Someone from the sheltered housing. 373 00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:43,410 She's called Holly. She's the hairdresser there. 374 00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:47,457 -She's very funny. -Oh, my God. 375 00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:50,243 -What? -You like her. 376 00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:51,722 What? I don't... No! Stop it. 377 00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:54,073 -Ava! -It's really nothing, Grace. 378 00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:55,422 Don't make it weird. 379 00:18:04,996 --> 00:18:06,694 I mean, you are literally 380 00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:08,739 holding your phone to your heart. 381 00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:16,486 Should have had a burger. 382 00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:19,054 -Hi, darling. -Hi! 383 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,709 -Nice time? -Ah, so nice. 384 00:18:21,752 --> 00:18:22,840 How's Susie? 385 00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:24,625 -So nice! -Good. 386 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:26,844 So nice. 387 00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:31,458 You all right? 388 00:18:31,501 --> 00:18:33,808 Fine. 389 00:18:33,851 --> 00:18:37,551 -I'm just gonna hold it. -No, don't hold it. Just... 390 00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:40,989 Ooh! You coming in for a little kissy? 391 00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:43,513 No, 'cause you're 40% proof, aren't you, babe? 392 00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:45,254 Right. Can I just get under you're ass? Thank you. 393 00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:47,735 Oh, don't go in it. Ahh! 394 00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:53,654 Great. 395 00:18:53,697 --> 00:18:57,005 -I quit that job. -Excuse me? 396 00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:58,659 Yeah, I'm not doing that, 397 00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:00,835 looking at me like I'm fucking 90, 398 00:19:00,878 --> 00:19:02,053 and I don't want to work there, anyway. 399 00:19:02,097 --> 00:19:04,969 They've got weird space coffee. 400 00:19:05,013 --> 00:19:08,538 It's very hot in here. Where's the windy window thingy? 401 00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:10,801 There isn't a windy-- When did you quit this job? 402 00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:13,152 Just now. I wrote a really good email. 403 00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:16,155 Susie edited-it-it... it. 404 00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:19,462 -Susie editedit. -Susie did? 405 00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:20,681 -Yeah. -Great. 406 00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:22,509 Two piss-heads are better than one. 407 00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:25,033 -Oh, my God! Luke is driving! -Yeah, uh... 408 00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:27,078 Yep. Don't put him off. He's doing really well. 409 00:19:27,122 --> 00:19:29,429 -Can you slow it down a second? -Yeah, please. 410 00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:31,996 I feel a bit sick. 411 00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:38,002 One, two, three, four, five, six. 412 00:19:38,046 --> 00:19:39,700 I love toast. 413 00:19:39,743 --> 00:19:41,963 Give me some toast. I love toast. 414 00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:49,362 I haven't got time to wait for that. 415 00:19:49,405 --> 00:19:50,363 I'll be dead soon, won't I? 416 00:19:50,406 --> 00:19:51,973 Everything's... Oh. 417 00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:55,759 Yes, Queens! 418 00:19:55,803 --> 00:19:57,196 Hi, Ally. 419 00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:58,327 Steady. 420 00:19:58,371 --> 00:20:00,024 It's fun. 421 00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:01,374 Is she okay? 422 00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:04,420 Yeah. She's just feeling a bit 50. 423 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,032 Oh. 424 00:20:08,076 --> 00:20:09,860 Oh, God. 425 00:20:19,174 --> 00:20:22,090 Fuck. And there it is. 426 00:20:22,133 --> 00:20:25,311 The reason that we don't drink like that anymore. 427 00:20:26,181 --> 00:20:28,662 Oh, God. Was I horrific? 428 00:20:28,705 --> 00:20:30,707 Yeah. No. You--You were very merry, actually, 429 00:20:30,751 --> 00:20:32,231 for someone who's just told their new boss 430 00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:35,495 to fuck off and done a little sick out the car. 431 00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:38,628 -Fuck. What is wrong with me? -Ah, nothin'. 432 00:20:38,672 --> 00:20:41,588 I hate turning 50. I wanna turn back. 433 00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:45,156 Look, I... I wasn't keen on 50 when it hit either, 434 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,637 but I know this is a cliché. 435 00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:49,509 It's a lot better than the alternative. 436 00:20:50,074 --> 00:20:51,424 Mm. 437 00:20:53,991 --> 00:20:56,559 Everything's going too fast. I can't... 438 00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:58,213 Yeah. 439 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,868 I sort of feel like we've had the good bit. 440 00:21:00,911 --> 00:21:03,523 Do you know what I mean? But... 441 00:21:03,566 --> 00:21:05,612 I don't know what I'm doing anymore. 442 00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:09,137 -I miss Luke. -Mm-hmm. 443 00:21:09,180 --> 00:21:13,446 I mean, I'm gonna be a fucking grandma. 444 00:21:13,489 --> 00:21:15,012 That just sounds weird. 445 00:21:15,056 --> 00:21:20,540 That's like saying I'm gonna be a... horse or something. 446 00:21:21,628 --> 00:21:23,543 Nay. 447 00:21:23,586 --> 00:21:26,850 Fuck off. Ow. I can't laugh. 448 00:21:26,894 --> 00:21:28,417 Ow. 449 00:21:30,376 --> 00:21:33,248 Right, I'm going to pop out and pick up some things 450 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,641 for Dad's birthday do, okay? 451 00:21:34,684 --> 00:21:38,122 So, just sleep, sugar. Sleep. 452 00:21:39,820 --> 00:21:40,734 Fuck off. 453 00:22:13,767 --> 00:22:16,857 Pushes all the air out of me, tying me laces. 454 00:22:23,429 --> 00:22:25,344 You look very handsome. 455 00:22:27,868 --> 00:22:28,825 Shall we? 456 00:22:33,569 --> 00:22:35,005 -God, it's so quiet. -Mm. 457 00:22:35,049 --> 00:22:37,138 Old people generally are, I think. 458 00:22:37,181 --> 00:22:39,532 -Luke, do you wanna open it? -Yes. 459 00:22:39,575 --> 00:22:41,316 -After you. -Right. Thanks. 460 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,449 Surprise! 461 00:22:43,492 --> 00:22:46,365 -Oh! -Happy 130th. 462 00:22:46,408 --> 00:22:48,192 Oh, my God. 463 00:22:48,236 --> 00:22:52,588 Wow. Okay. Okay. 464 00:22:52,632 --> 00:22:54,198 Two "okay"s? That's potentially not okay. 465 00:22:54,242 --> 00:22:55,722 This is very brave, Paul. 466 00:22:55,765 --> 00:22:58,420 Yeah, the fucking adrenaline walking up the street. 467 00:22:58,464 --> 00:23:00,727 Uh, look, 80 plus 50. That's... 468 00:23:00,770 --> 00:23:02,206 -130, yeah. -Yeah. 469 00:23:02,250 --> 00:23:05,253 -That number's not bad, is it? -Um... 470 00:23:05,296 --> 00:23:07,386 -Ava. -Hello. 471 00:23:08,169 --> 00:23:09,692 Do you hate it? 472 00:23:09,736 --> 00:23:13,435 No, no, I don't hate it. I love it. It's... It's... 473 00:23:13,479 --> 00:23:15,394 It's brilliant. Thank you. 474 00:23:15,437 --> 00:23:17,918 -Happy birthday, Mum. -Oh, thanks. 475 00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:22,836 Happy birthday. 476 00:23:22,879 --> 00:23:25,447 Happy birthday, Jim. 477 00:23:25,491 --> 00:23:27,318 Happy birthday, Ally. 478 00:23:27,362 --> 00:23:29,277 They get better as you get older. 479 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,758 That's a lie. They get worse. 480 00:23:31,801 --> 00:23:33,586 -Happy birthday, darling. -Oh, thank you. 481 00:23:33,629 --> 00:23:36,632 -Mm. -Thanks so much. Oh. Hey! 482 00:23:36,676 --> 00:23:39,200 Well done, darling, putting on a brave face. 483 00:23:39,243 --> 00:23:40,723 Put me in one of these places, 484 00:23:40,767 --> 00:23:44,074 -I'll fucking kill you. -Wow. Good to know. Okay. 485 00:23:48,992 --> 00:23:51,517 Thank you. I love you. 486 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,214 I love you, too. 487 00:23:54,694 --> 00:23:56,478 Whoa! 488 00:23:56,522 --> 00:23:58,349 Yeah. All right. Don't all pretend like you're not 489 00:23:58,393 --> 00:24:02,005 all at it like rabbits. I saw it on Panorama. 490 00:24:02,049 --> 00:24:05,835 Hey, um, listen, I'm... I'm so sorry for quitting that job. 491 00:24:05,879 --> 00:24:08,403 You just... You can't put a price on pride. 492 00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:11,972 No, I know. But if you could put a price on it... 493 00:24:12,015 --> 00:24:14,191 15 grand for two months' work. 494 00:24:16,019 --> 00:24:17,107 -Really? -Yeah. 495 00:24:17,151 --> 00:24:18,282 You can't be angry with me, though, 496 00:24:18,326 --> 00:24:20,633 'cause it's my party. 497 00:24:20,676 --> 00:24:21,982 Okay. 498 00:24:23,592 --> 00:24:25,638 -Uh, I'm gonna pick up tea. -Okay. 499 00:24:25,681 --> 00:24:26,900 Or a sherry. 500 00:24:26,943 --> 00:24:28,815 Hi, Mum. 501 00:24:28,858 --> 00:24:31,600 80. Bloody hell. 502 00:24:31,644 --> 00:24:33,646 It's a lot of years. 503 00:24:33,689 --> 00:24:38,215 It goes by very fast, Ava. Lightnin' speed. 504 00:24:38,259 --> 00:24:39,608 You can't hang about. 505 00:24:39,652 --> 00:24:42,655 Got to grab life by the short and curlies, 506 00:24:42,698 --> 00:24:44,570 if I'm still allowed to say that. 507 00:24:44,613 --> 00:24:45,527 I think you are. 508 00:25:10,247 --> 00:25:12,032 Hey. 509 00:25:12,075 --> 00:25:14,469 Hey. Sorry. Just had to get away 510 00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:16,210 from the intense partying for a bit. 511 00:25:16,253 --> 00:25:18,299 Holly, would you like to go on a date with me? 512 00:25:19,822 --> 00:25:22,042 Yeah. I'd... I'd like that a lot. 513 00:25:22,608 --> 00:25:23,957 Good. 514 00:25:24,697 --> 00:25:25,872 May I kiss you? 515 00:25:27,395 --> 00:25:29,005 You absolutely fucking may. 37799

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