All language subtitles for The Offer S01E01

- Hey, Joe, good to see you.
- Good to see you.

Hey, Joe.

Good to see you.

- Hey, Mr. Bonanno.
- Mr. Colombo.

- What are you doing?
- What?

Leave the ♪♪♪ cannoli.

You're a capo,
when you really need to be a boss.

We gotta get you your
own seat at the table.

That's the only way
you're gonna make change.

Lucchese and Gambino,
those tired ♪♪♪.

One of them gotta go.

And you want me to take care of it?

When the time is right.

With you and me in power,

we can do things the way
they should be ♪♪♪ done.

Mr. Colombo.

- Come in, Dominic.
- Here.

- Marty, let him in.
- Excuse me.

I'm sorry to interrupt.

- I saw you walk by... - Dominic,
you don't have to do this.

And I bought these
for you and your friends.

- That's beautiful. Thanks.
- Francesca and I are so grateful.

Good, good, good.

I'm in a meeting right now. Yeah.

- I'm sorry. God bless you, sir.
- No, no, no.

- God bless you, Mr. Colombo.
- No, I'll see you in a bit. Yeah.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

What the ♪♪♪ is that?

He owes.

He owns the bakery over on Grand.

His grand kid’s sick, so I suspended
the interest for six months.

You want to be a boss,
you better start acting like one.

You're going soft on me?

It sends the wrong message
showing mercy like that.

No, no. I told him he
doesn't pay me in six months,

I'll kill his whole family.

I'll gut the kid first
and make the family watch.

- That's what I'm talking about.
- Yeah. Yeah.

It's the change we need.

I still don't know
about the seat, though.

There's gotta be another way.

They ain't exactly
handing 'em out, Joey.

You want that seat...

you gotta take it.

- Top of the morning, Bobby!
- Good morning, Mr. Evans.

- Good morning, Mr. Evans.
- Hey, baby!

Julie, baby, welcome back.

- Mr. Evans, morning.
- Hey.

- Hey, Bob. - Those rushes
looked great last night.

You're doing such a good job.
You keep it up.

Watch that budget, though.

- Evans!
- Johnny Potatoes!

- Looking good there.
- You like that, huh?

I just came down to tell ya,

Hank can't ♪♪♪ direct
his way out of a paper bag.

But you, star,
you knocked it out of the park.

- Good morning, Bob.
- Well, it should be.

And it would be, Peter,
if I didn't have to watch the rushes

for Tarzan and the
Jungle Boy last night.

My God, what a turd.

But the sun is shining. It's still a
good day. What do we got? Hit me.

Bluhdorn is having trouble
wrapping his head around

Eastwood starring in a musical.
Wants to talk.

Neil Simon called.
He says it's gotta be Lemmon.

But Lemmon will only
do it if Matthau's in it,

and he wants 300,000
for the picture.

And Bluhdorn says,

"Under no circumstances
are we paying anyone

$300,000 to star in anything."

He said a few other things...

Don't be scared. What did he say?

He said he's got a fire
poker with your name on it,

if you need a better illustration
of the studio's finances.

All right, take a deep breath.
This is what you're gonna do.

Peter, you're gonna send a copy
of Clint's album Cowboy Favorites

to Bluhdorn,
and that's gonna change his tune.

Now, Sheila, you could tell him...
You tell Charlie Bluhdorn

that he can save his
poker for opening night.

Because if that film is anything
like the play, The Odd Couple,

it's gonna save this studio.

And I'll bend over
for him if it doesn't.

Thank you, Sheila. Peter, you stay.

Hey, Ruddy?

I'm not paying you to read.

Those contracts need to be
on my desk by the end of the day.

They were on your desk this morning.

Good.

Ruddy, you're making
the rest of us look bad.

Dave, you're doing a great
job of that all on your own, buddy.

Nice car, sir.

You'd be surprised
what a paint job will do.

Or a blowtorch.

Hey, Ruddy!

Mitch, sorry I'm late, buddy.
I had a hard time finding the place.

After a year in LA, who
doesn't know where the Chateau is?

Try not to impress too many girls
with that shirt tonight, Ruddy.

What? I came straight from work.

Still lost on me what you do.
It's contracts or something, right?

I've told you 13 times.

Do you really think this
is gonna be the time it sticks?

That's a good point.

Let's grab a drink.

Wendy.

- Hey, Mitch, hey.
- Hey.

I was wondering where the
beautiful cool cats had gone.

And here they all are.

How's it going? Johnny.

Yeah, Bob, nice to see you.

Nice to see you.

Hey, who is that guy?

Bob Evans. Head of Paramount.

Guy's more connected than God.

And, yeah, he's always that tan.

Nikita. You don't wanna
miss this bus, baby.

Let's do it. Come on.

Everyone,
this is my neighbor, Al Ruddy.

- Hello.
- Hey.

Any friend of Mitch's
is a friend of mine.

Okay.

You sure you're just a TV writer?

I'm in the wrong ♪♪♪ business.

What am I doing wrong? Nobody came.

Mario, this is the
best thing you've written.

Six years wasted.

The Fortunate Pilgrim
was my mother's story.

You know, I...

I thought the world
would identify with it.

Three people came
and no one bought a book.

I don't even know
what to write anymore.

People perked up listening
to the part about the Mafia guy.

Yeah, great.

That was like three paragraphs.

Well, did you ever
think about writing

a Mafia book with more than that?

I spent my childhood
hiding from those gangsters.

You know, Hell's Kitchen
was chock full of them.

So, write what you know.

So they can put a bullet in my head?

Just think about it.

21 Club, please.

Anthony.

Yeah...

You know you owe our friend $1,000.

- Yeah.
- I have...

I've got $40.

Take that.

How much do we owe?

You don't want to know.

I thought this book was the one.

We'd be able to pay him back and...

So, what are we going to do, Mario?

Candida wants me to
write about the Mafia.

I married you because
you're an artist, not a hack.

Hacks sell books.

They can pay for the
education of their kids.

Hacks don't borrow money from guys
you shouldn't borrow money from.

How much do we owe?

Five Gs to two bookies.

A few grand to the bank.

Not including what I owe my brother.

♪♪♪ art, Mario. Start typing.

- You want me to write
about the Mafia? - Yeah.

How do I tell that
story any differently?

Everybody knows they steal.

They control gambling.
They run ♪♪♪, unions.

Okay, so maybe it's not
just a book about the Mafia.

What do you mean?

Well, the guys you grew up with,

they didn't start out so
different from you, immigrants.

They eat,
they drink, they love, they cry.

They worry about their
kids' futures. Just like us.

And they kill.

Okay, so maybe we don't kill.

But maybe this book is about
finding the reason we would.

- Have a beautiful night.
- You too, babe.

- Okay.
- Hi.

Hi, guys. How are you?

Nice. Enjoy.

I'm back. I'm back.
Whatever he said, he's lying.

- How we doing?
- I'm good.

Okay. So, now, you look interesting.
Are you interesting?

Depends on the company.

- That's a good answer.
- Who's your friend, Mitch?

Francoise Glazer,
this is my neighbor, Al Ruddy.

- What do you do?
- Programming.

Programming? What network?

I program computers
for the Rand Corporation.

Still have no idea what that means.

- The Rand Corporation?
- Yeah.

I'm impressed. That's defense work.

It's secret, it's not top secret.

What about you? What do you do?

She owns the ground you're
sitting on, my friend.

The hotel?

You surprised?

You think a woman
can't run a business?

I was raised by a single mother.
She could've run anything.

You see? He doesn't hate his
mother like all you comedy writers.

- Come on.
- You write comedy too?

No. You watched Sgt. Bilko?

- Yeah. I love Bilko.
- I play Gomez.

You know,
I thought you looked familiar.

I'm a hell of a comedy fan.

The way these shows
tell their stories,

it's like a formula, in a good way.

- Formula?
- Think about it.

Bilko, McHale's Navy,
even My Favorite Martian, right?

They're the same cast of characters,
in similar situations,

with just enough difference
to be interesting.

That's kind of true, Mitch.

If you really want
to upset the apple cart,

put your cast of
characters where you least

expect them to be in a comedy,

somewhere that isn't safe.

That's how you make it stand out.

If it were really that easy, every
Tom, ♪♪♪ and Ruddy would do it.

I didn't mean any offense.

Hey, you seem to have a hell of an

instinct for how
these shows are made.

You wanna talk shop sometime?

I could send you some scripts
so you can see how they all lay out.

That would be great.

But, hey, I'm just a
guy who programs computers.

All evidence to the contrary.

You found it.

Oh, boy.

It's not about a gang.

It's about a gangster's family.

The oldest son is a hothead.

The middle son is sweet,
but he's weak.

And the younger son is a war hero

- who wants nothing to do with
the family business. - Okay.

But the Don wants this son,
call him Michael...

Wants him to rise above the family
business and become a senator,

you know, someone powerful.

But Michael's destiny
won't let him escape

the power of Don Vito Corleone.

Who's the Don?

He's what Sicilians call
the godfather of gangsters.

He's the head of the family...

and my title.

The Godfather.

I like it.

Okay. All right.
It's not written yet.

The Godfather.

So, come on.
What do you want to pitch?

We could do rags to riches,
a fish out of water...

I mean, Bernie,
I don't even know what a pitch is.

Don't even know what a pitch...

We just go into the network,
tell 'em about our idea.

You know,
what it's about, the characters,

what stories we'll tell week to
week. That's it, that's the pitch.

All these execs
wanna see is that they

can put a hundred
episodes in the can.

Okay. So maybe we go with what
you've hit with. A military comedy.

There's already McHale's Navy,
F Troop, Gomer Pyle.

They're gonna wanna
see something new.

McHale's and Gomer's
are peacetime stories.

Nobody's set a military
comedy during wartime.

Let's do something
about what you know.

Workplace comedy set
at a defense contractor.

It's not inherently funny.
Trust me, I live it.

Well, not to you.

Hey, you ever seen Stalag
17 with William Holden?

American POWs.
It's a Billy Wilder thing.

It's great characters, man.
I mean, it's set up for a comedy.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

No. War equals death.

Hey, let's do this.
Let's sell the Rand comedy,

and after that,
we can sell the army comedy.

Ruddy, just relax, okay?
You're making me nervous.

Yeah, well, we ♪♪♪ this up,
you go back to making TV,

and I go back to Rand
where the soul goes to die.

- Goodbye, Miss Taylor.
- Holy shit.

That's Elizabeth Taylor.

Gentlemen, Mr.
Paley will see you now.

And so these two bachelors
at the Rand Corporation,

they're actually peaceniks.

They're using company computers
to program for peace instead of war.

There's a lot of good stuff in here.
People are gonna love it.

We call it "Modern Warfare."

Interesting idea.

You got anything else?

Bilko. Swastikas. Swastikas. Bilko.

You think Nazis are funny?

Imagine Bilko as a pilot, right?

He's a colonel and
he's fighting the war.

He gets shot down over
Germany and taken prisoner.

- Mr. Ruddy, I don't think...
- Now, our Colonel,

he knows exactly how to escape,
but he never does.

None of the prisoners do.
Because he's leading an Allied

group inside the camp
to help the resistance.

The camp commandant,
he's a guy named Klink.

Now, he's got a reputation
of being the toughest guy in the SS,

but actually, he's a ♪♪♪ idiot.

Yeah. And there's this big
fat sergeant. Sergeant Schultz.

And he's always walking in on
their plans, but he likes the guys,

they're nice to him,
so he turns a blind eye.

I see nothing.
I hear nothing. I know nothing.

There's a French prisoner,
guy's a gourmet chef,

and he feeds the guard dogs
so that they love the prisoners.

This is for you, my little chien.
That's a good boy.

Are there any women in the show?

Oh, yeah, there's a woman.
And not just any woman.

Oh, boys,
Helga, she is an amazon, right?

I mean, sexy German secretary.

Guten Tag, my little...

Hey, and she might even
have an eye for our Colonel.

Yeah, so she's in
on all their schemes.

- What do you call this thing?
- Hogan's Heroes.

Have you pitched this anywhere else?

Don't.
'Cause we're buying it.

"I'll make him an
offer he can't refuse."

- Great line.
- Yeah, it's fun, isn't it?

It's special, Mario.

The Frank Sinatra/Johnny
Fontane character, great.

Maybe Sinatra will
play him in the movie.

- Should we call Paramount?
- Mario.

Just because they optioned it early,

it doesn't mean it's gonna get made.

Let's make sure it
gets published first.

They say to me,
"You can make Love Story,

which we agree,
"greatest love story of all time,

but the girl has
to live at the end."

Can you ♪♪♪ believe that?

- The death is what
makes it work. - Yes!

Look at Romeo and Juliet. Not
the same story if they'd lived.

- God, no. - We feel the
pain of the loss,

feel the grief,
we feel pity, we cry.

I'll make the movie,
Bob, but only if she dies.

You are preaching
to the choir, babe.

Look, you make Love Story,

and I will give you
total creative control.

- And final cut.
- And a back end that's real.

We got a chance to
make a huge hit here.

I only make two decisions,
all right?

Hiring you? Yes.

Secondly, casting Ali MacGraw.

Bob, I don't know if I'm comfortable
with hiring your girlfriend.

One of the best
actresses of our time.

Trust me,
my friend, I've seen her up close.

And so should you.
That's all I'm saying.

Sheila, could you send
in our guest, please?

What is this?

Ali MacGraw, meet Arthur Hiller.

- I am so excited to be
working with you. - Me, too.

You two are gonna
make magic together.

I'll let you get acquainted.

I saw your most recent film, Artie.
I loved it.

- Sheila...
- Thank you so much.

I'm good.

Lucchese and Gambino
got here about 10 minutes ago.

Sinatra's crying
to everyone but the Pope

about this book that's
about to come out.

The Godfather.

Giving me a ♪♪♪ headache.

'Cause there's a
character in it that's

supposed to be a real fighetta,

- and everyone thinks it's him.
- How'd you know that?

I read it somewhere.

I just have to use the bathroom.

What have we got here?

He said it was important
to the Commission.

Come and sit.

Sit down, Joe. Have a drink.

You're making me nervous
standing like that.

Sit down, Joe.

I've been offered a seat
at the Commission table.

My own family.

Well, nobody told me about that.

Well, it's supposed to be
the last thing you'll ever hear.

Bonanno?

He came to me a while back,
talking about making changes.

That's what he thinks
I'm doing here right now.

But I'm here to tell
you so you can deal with it

the way the Commission chooses.

And then you take Bonanno's
seat at the table?

Well, that's not up to me.
That's up to you.

Hey, I'm an ambitious guy,

but not at the price of
my loyalty to what we do here.

To you and the rest
of the Commission.

I respect whatever you decide.

Good night, gentlemen.

Let's go.

Bonanno. He's gotta go.

Are we moving in?

This...

This is what it's all about.

- What? Monkeys?
- No, the excitement.

The thrill. I mean,
did you hear them at the end?

Yes, that was a great ending.

No, no, it's not
just about the ending.

It's about the experience of it.

You've got 300 people
all watching the same thing,

reacting in real time,
just feeding off each other.

You can't get that
experience in television.

You're just in your living
room looking at a small ♪♪♪ box.

It's just a different game.

Five years of Hogan's and you can
make all the money you'd ever need.

Five years of Hogan's, I'm
gonna shoot myself in the face.

No.

They showed us the writer's
room at CBS last week.

It was like an exact
♪♪♪ replica of Rand.

It can't just be about the money.

At first, I thought it was,
this whole Hollywood thing, but...

My mother, she was a tough broad

and she never showed emotion ever,
about anything,

except at the movies.

That was the only time
I ever saw my mother cry.

I mean, you can't put
a price on that experience.

I mean, that's magic, baby.

I need to be in the movies.

So what do you know
about producing film?

- What do I know about
producing TV? - Good point.

Let's go.

Are you coming?

Sir.

I'm having a party on Saturday
night, and if you're not there,

well, I'm just going
to send everybody home.

Even Jack and Warren.

Nicholson and Beatty.

You're gonna love 'em.
And bathing suits are optional.

Barry, what are you doing here?

I hate to interrupt your
little soiree, but we had a meeting.

Relax, Barry.

Have a drink before you
have a heart attack. Right, girls?

It's 9:00 in the morning.

- Coffee, black.
- Girls, give us a minute.

I'm sorry.
Every party needs a pooper.

- How you doing, Barry?
- Bob.

Thank you.

I got off the phone with Charlie.
He's livid.

Paramount has fallen
back to eight out of nine.

Well, let me guess, he's up your
ass about Paint Your Wagon overages.

"Lee Marvin and
Clint Eastwood should

be shooting people, not singing.

"That's entertainment.
"And what's with the Love Story?

"The girl dies at the end?
Who wants to see that?"

It's his studio.

Look, I'm not going
to beat around the bush.

We need hits.

We can't live off of
Rosemary's Baby forever.

Barry, did you read Love Story?

Yes. Why?

Did it move you?

What does that have
to do with anything?

The audience needs
to be moved, Barry.

That's how you make hit pictures.

Times are changing,
and we need to keep up.

That's why I got the job
in the ivory tower, and you don't.

If you don't string
together some hits,

that ivory tower of yours
is going to come crashing down.

Oh, ye of such little faith.

Bottoms up, Barry.

Bob Evans. I'm Al Ruddy. I wanted
to talk to you. You got a minute?

I'm fairly certain
we don't have a meeting.

But you knew that already,
didn't you?

- How'd you get on the lot?
- It ain't exactly Fort Knox.

Fair enough.
What can I do for you, Mr. Ruddy?

It's what I can do for you.

- I wanna produce for Paramount.
- You told a good story once.

Ballsy of you to walk
away from Hogan's Heroes.

- So, you do know who I am?
- I know who everyone is, kid.

Look, you know what a producer does,
Mr. Ruddy?

They do whatever it takes
to get their movie made.

Now, what makes you think
that you're qualified to do that?

You know, I read an article
in Variety that said that you

started out selling ladies slacks
and doing bit parts in movies,

but you still figured it out.

Don't, don't...

Don't call them bit parts
when you're kissing someone's ass.

I work with Jimmy ♪♪♪ Cagney,
my friend. Toe to toe.

So...

Unknown computer guy

creates CBS's hit
comedy about Nazis.

Go figure. All right. All right.

You do remind me of me,
and I'm a sentimental guy,

and you caught me on a good day.

Let's set a lunch, Mr. Ruddy.

Talk about your future.

What producers have you worked for?

You'll be my first.

I worked in legal for three
years and then saw this job posted.

Well, then, I guess we'll
both have a lot to learn.

Thanks.

Thank you. We'll let you know.

I thought he just gave me the job.

Oh, no, sweetie,

that was just his Valium talking.

You are dodging a bullet here.

You can thank me later.

Exit's that way.

Thank you.

- I...
- Bye.

You're Albert Ruddy.

- Who are you?
- Bettye McCartt.

Bernie Fein sent me.

Bernie.

It's nice to meet you, Bettye, but
I'm sorry, I just hired somebody.

- That little mouse?
- Yeah.

- No.
- Yeah.

No.

Let me take you on a tour.

Come on.

I don't bite.

That spot is hallowed
♪♪♪ ground.

You're not even paying
attention to it. Look.

The guard gate?

That is where Gloria Swanson

drove onto the lot
in Sunset Boulevard.

Because she thought Cecil B.
DeMille wanted

to make her version of Salome.

When all he actually wanted

- was her ♪♪♪ car.
- ♪♪♪ car.

You see that door?

That is the secret entrance
where Adolph Zukor,

who's the founder of Paramount,

that's where he used to sneak
his little starlets into his office.

Cool.

It's hallowed ground, man.

Hallowed ground.

Ladies, it's time.

- Come on. Let's go.
- Seriously, what's your story?

It's not terribly interesting.

I worked for Rand
Corporation before Hogan's.

Architect before that.

Those are both steady gigs.
Why'd you walk away?

Because I could, I guess.

So, Bettye, what's your story?

It's not terribly interesting.

I'm divorced.
Opinionated.

The latter most likely
the cause of the former.

Okay. Let's get ready for picture.
Lock it up.

I love the movies.

My mom used to take
me every Saturday,

even when she couldn't
make the rent.

Single mother?

Yeah, me too.

- Still go every Saturday?
- Yes, I do.

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

- How long is your deal
here for, Al? - A year.

What? Really?

That is not long enough
to start from scratch.

We have to find a script
that's been overlooked.

Places, everybody.
I wanna feel some energy.

Well, then we'd better get started.

Yeah?

- Let's watch this take first.
- Quiet on set.

The New York Times' ♪♪♪ Schaap,

"What Philip Roth did for
masturbation, Puzo does for murder."

The Post, "A searing portrayal
of the Mafia underworld."

I'll lay odds that you're
gonna be signing more than 30 books.

Bob, I found something
you're gonna love.

Jesus, Ruddy.
Knock. It's all right, Sheila.

What was the best
scene in The Great Escape?

I don't have time for party games.

It's McQueen's motorcycle jump.

Yeah, true. So what?

I found a great script.
It's about motorcycle racers.

- And chicks?
- Yeah, and chicks.

It's called Little Fauss and Big
Halsy. It's perfect for McQueen.

Forget McQueen, for Chrissakes.

He's making his own racing movie,
Le Mans.

Who else you got in mind?
You need a star, kid.

Robert Redford.

Redford? Yeah, great idea.

You get me Redford,

and you do it for
a million five, all in,

you've got yourself a go picture.

- Thanks, Bob.
- Sure. Yeah, yeah.

Evans is messing with you, Al.

Redford will never do this
for a million five, all in.

- How do you know?
- How is it that you don't?

I don't know.
I'm new at this. Work with me here.

If anyone knows what Redford's
up to, it will be Stevie Phillips.

Who's he?

She is his agent.
You gotta know these things, Al.

Stevie Phillips, please.

This is Al Ruddy
calling from Paramount

in regards to a project
for Robert Redford.

Yes.

Okay. Yes, I'll tell him. Thank you.

Stevie says to call back

when you have more than
Hogan's Heroes under your belt.

- Pass.
- So, we go around her.

That's not how things are done, Al.

I don't give a ♪♪♪
how things are done.

Redford's not in town.

He's shooting Butch Cassidy
outside San Pedro, Mexico.

Find out the most
expensive hotel there.

That'll be where Redford's staying.

And then book me a flight.

You are certifiable.

- Hey, buddy. I'm looking for
Redford. - And who are you?

Producer of his next film.
He said he wanted to speak to me.

Okay. Just wait right there.

Action! Butch and Sundance, go!

And cavalry, go!

All right. Cut, cut, cut.

All right, great!
Let's set up for the next shot.

Let's go. Come on, people!

So this is the guy?

Producer of my next film, huh?

- That's right.
- Who the hell are you?

Al Ruddy with Paramount.

Paramount. Okay, so?

So, it's a great
Charles Eastman script.

Motorcycles and chicks.
You're gonna love it.

Hope you didn't come all
the way down here to tell me that.

Yeah, Bob. I did.

Well, you could have called.
Paramount's suing me.

That's why I didn't
do Rosemary's Baby.

Could've saved you the hassle.

What if I could get
you out of that lawsuit?

You have the authority to do that?

Yeah, I do.

If you do the movie.

Well, first things first.

How about you and
I go get drunk later?

You tell me who you are
and why I should work with you.

Great. I'm buying.

No shit.

Yeah. Ruddy!

"Little Fauss and Big Hals..."

Fauss and Halsy!

Well...

Evans is in this for himself,
not for Gulf and Western.

I give you the reins,

and the problems,
they just magically disappear?

There's my favorite Austrian.

I miss this place.
Nice touch, Evans.

Ask and you shall receive.

Been a while since you
visited the studio, Barry.

That's because I've been in New York

actually making
money for the company.

- Can you say the same?
- Play nice, children.

- Charlie, you know
Ann-Margret, right? - Of course.

One of the greats.

Good to see you, Charlie.
A glass?

- From you? Sure.
- Thank you, honey.

I would love to stay and chat,
but I'm wanted on set.

- I'll see you soon.
- You count on it.

This way, Miss Margret.

Evans, you are
completely transparent.

- Well put.
- And I love it.

- Cheers. - Help yourself,
Barry. And lighten up.

Come on, cheese.

Ann-Margret and
two flutes of champagne

is not going to erase
ninth place, Evans.

It's as if every new Paramount

picture comes with
its own death rattle.

Newsflash.
You approve them too, Barry.

Jack Warner on line one for Mr.
Bluhdorn.

Jesus...

Put him through.

I don't pick up first.

Jack Warner doesn't
wait on the line.

Neither do I.

You wait for Jack Warner.

Everybody does.
He invented this business.

Paramount holding for Mr. Warner.

Hold, please.

Bluhdorn? Are you there?

Bob Evans, Mr. Warner.

How you doing?
I got Charlie here with me.

Charlie, you own The Godfather.

- Yeah.
- You doing anything with it?

- No.
- Yes.

Well?

We haven't decided.

It's an uncut gem.

Could be a crown jewel.

I've been making gangster
movies since they were silent.

We know how to make this work,
Charlie.

I'll buy it today for a million.

Take it.

We'll think about it.

You do that. I won't wait forever.

What does he know that I don't?

He knows that there's
movie gold in that book.

Which is why we took a cheap,
early option on the first 60 pages,

$15,000, and that book has been
at number one for the past year.

Barry, why didn't I know about this?

Yeah, why, Barry?

Because our last gangster
movie was a sugarless turd.

Yeah, because Kirk Douglas
is a goyish Jew playing an Italian.

We're not going to
make that mistake again.

Charlie, gangster movies are dead,
all right?

It's a new world.

James Bond, Funny Girl,
that's what people wanna see.

Jack Warner, he offers me a million.
We can get three.

Help cover some losses.

Unless I'm missing something.

Evans, what do you see in this book?

I'll tell you what I see.

I see money.

This picture can make
Paramount number one, Charlie.

I feel it.
I feel... My kishkes are screaming.

That book's all
anyone's talking about.

You get the right
hands at the wheel,

and this could become a phenomenon.

The likes we've never seen before.
Like Rosemary's Baby, but bigger.

A million dollar return
on an investment of 15 grand?

We're not gonna get a better offer.

It's only a million.

Thank you, Charlie.

The bookstore in Little Italy,
The Godfather.

- It's 58 weeks at number one.
- 'Cause of the tourists.

Well, makes us look stupid.

Like... You know, like a joke.
And that's bad for business.

Sinatra isn't wrong about this one.

We're here tonight to acknowledge
Joseph Anthony Colombo,

capo to the Profaci Family.

In recognition for his
loyalty to the Commission,

Joe, you have earned a
seat at the table amongst us.

To the Colombo family.

May you live a long
life with prosperity.

- Salute!
- Salute!

- Some opening weekend.
- It's the studio.

They didn't spend enough
on advertising, that's all.

It's the movie, not the marketing.
Trust me.

All right.
What are you in the mood for?

I'll take you anywhere you want.

Honey, I can't. I gotta get home.

Got a stack of scripts
I need to go through

if I'm gonna find my next project.

Right now? But I thought
we were going to dinner.

You okay if we get something to go?

If you tell me what's really
going on in that head of yours.

I'm just scared to lose this.

Producing and...

I've never really felt that before.

Dan Tana's to go?

Sure.

His secretary say what
Evans wanted to see me about?

No, but he likes you, Al.

He's probably just checking
in to find out what's next.

- My film tanked. What if he fires
me? - Then I'm fired too. Shit.

Hey, do not get fired.

Yeah?

Where's the chocolate, man?

I don't see any chocolates.
It's a chocolate factory, right?

You see where I'm going with this?

Absolutely.
It's devoid of chocolate.

Pack your bags. You're out of here.

- ♪♪♪.
- New York.

You got a meeting with Charlie
Bluhdorn first thing in the morning.

What, you thought you were fired?
That's sweet.

- You're not out of the
woods, but... - Okay.

Yeah, whatever you need.

But why am I doing this?

You've read The Godfather, right?

The Godfather? Sure, who hasn't?

I mean, you've read it.
It's great. I love it.

Well, you are officially now
Paramount's low-budget specialist.

We've been all over town.
No one wants to make this movie for

$4 million,
so I need you to produce it.

Get going.

- Nice.
- And, Ruddy...

Don't ♪♪♪ it up.

- Did you get 'em? - I can't believe
you told them you read it.

- What else was I gonna say?
- You better read fast on the plane.

♪♪♪, that's big.

It's about an American family.

Bluhdorn is Austrian,
make it universal.

The Godfather is a Greek
tragedy about an Italian family.

You say the word tragedy
to Charlie and he says,

"The only tragedy of my
life is that I bought Paramount."

Okay. It's a story about immigrants.

Everybody in America
comes from immigrants.

- It's a universal story.
- You're over thinking it.

Bluhdorn is famous for being direct.

He speaks like a telegram.

So just be a telegram.

Thanks.

- Al Ruddy for Charlie Bluhdorn.
- This way.

Al Ruddy.

Shut up. I don't want
to know what you think.

So you're the genius that
Evans wants to produce the film

that we should not be making.

You, stay.

So, tell me, Al Ruddy,

what are you going to
do with this ♪♪♪ book?

What? Is he deaf?

I'm going to make an ice-blue

terrifying film
about people you love.

That is brilliant.

You, come.

What just happened?

Congratulations.

You're the producer
of The Godfather.

Ice-blue, baby.

Well, hello to the ice-
blue terrifying man of the hour.

Nobody understands what that means,
but he loved it. Well done.

Now, I want to talk
to you about writers.

William Goldman, great.
Waldo Salt, excellent.

Look, Bob, they're great writers,
but we need a fresh perspective.

We need someone who
understands Italians.

I wanna talk to Puzo.

Oh, sweet Jesus.
Puzo's never written a film.

It's an unwritten law in Hollywood
that you never hire the author.

They'll turn in a 500-page
first draft a year ♪♪♪ late.

Yeah, but he's the
guy with the original idea.

It's at least worth a meeting.

Look, I'm going to talk
to him while I'm here in New York,

and if I think he's the guy,
will you back me?

♪♪♪ no. But it's your call.

Everything all right?

When was the last time
you made love in a pool?

Al, I was born to
write this screenplay.

Well, the studio
doesn't believe that

an author can adapt his own novel.

Then why are you here?

Because I told 'em... I said,
who knows it better than you?

Now, look, the movie's in here,
but you got to carve it away.

Can you do that?

Thank you.

Mario, he asked you a question.

All right. Look...

Fresh start.

But I have to be
the one to write this.

This is my story.
The Corleones are my family.

Can you deliver a quick draft?

- What's quick?
- Three months.

You let me do this,
I'll do it in three days.

Who can argue with that?

- Three days, I'm gonna hold
you to that. - Hold on. Hold on.

I will let you take my husband,
but you must promise me...

Mario has diabetes.

- Oh, Erika.
- No.

- Please. Stop now.
- No!

- Listen, you must watch his diet.
- Stop.

He eats crap.
He needs to lose weight.

Lock up the food.
No pizza, no ice cream.

No ice cream, no donuts.

You must swear a blood oath to this.

Blood... He's a Jew.

He can't swear a
Catholic blood oath.

I volunteer to swear.

Thank you. See?

So, the studio got me
a whole house to write in?

No, I got you the house.
They're just paying for it.

Mr. Ruddy, nice to see you again.
Good evening, sir.

Your table will be
ready in a few minutes.

Thanks, Marco.

Hey, it's not a bad night.

- What I miss? What I miss?
- That's Frank Sinatra.

♪♪♪ Frank Sinatra.

Amazing. I'm in the
same room with Sinatra.

Look, Puzo, Chasen's is
not a celebrity petting zoo, okay?

Now, stay here. I gotta pee.

Please, sir, this way.

Sir?

- Mr. Sinatra?
- Yeah.

You have given me and my family and

my late sainted mother
so much pleasure.

That's very kind of you to say so.

It's fans like you
that keep me going.

You know,
from one artist to another,

you teach the world
about true emotion.

- You're Mario Puzo?
- You know me?

Yeah, I know who you are.

You're the rat fink
who wrote that ♪♪♪ book

about the degenerate singer.

You know, I've been an admirer
of yours since I was a kid.

Well, I can't choose my fans.

Especially ones that make up a story

that insults Italians and a singer,

world-famous,
who's a disgusting pervert

and a faithless friend of criminals.

Johnny Fontane is
a fictional character.

You find me one book review,
in any language in the world,

that does not refer to
the singer Johnny Fontane,

as having been based
on Frank Sinatra.

Now get the ♪♪♪ out of my sight

before I have Jilly here
smack some respect into you.

I will not be threatened
by anyone, okay?

Including you, Mr. Sinatra.

You wanna cross me, you fat ♪♪♪?

Hey, hey!

No, no, no, no.
No, not today.

- Hey, hey, come on!
- Get out of here, you fat ♪♪♪!

Get the ♪♪♪ out of here
before I smack you myself.

Get him the ♪♪♪ out of here.

- Sorry, Frank.
- Take it easy.

Choke on it.

Sorry about that.

Sorry, folks. Go back to eating.

Evans is ♪♪♪ pissed.

And he's got every right to be.

Sinatra and Puzo are
gonna hit the trades.

My greatest achievement
so far as the producer

is that Frank Sinatra is mad at me.

Well, that's more
than most people can say.

No?

I ♪♪♪ it up, baby.

I know.

- It was just starting to
go well, too. - Yeah.

You know what we're gonna do?

We're gonna find
your own great escape.

So, we're gonna start with
breakfast at Les Deux Magots,

then we're gonna do steak
frites at Brasserie Lipp.

You like steak frites.

And then we're gonna spend
the afternoon making love.

That's what we're gonna do.

Paris, huh?

For one week.

Babe, all of your problems,
I can assure you,

they're still gonna
be here when you get back.

But your head will be clear.

I can't, baby, I gotta stay.

Okay.

♪♪♪.

Mario, what's going on, man?

I...

I can't do this.

I'm a novelist.

It takes me six years to write.

What happened to Mr. Three Days?

Every time I sit
down to that typewriter,

there's a blank page laughing at me.

I don't know why
I did this to myself.

- I'm a failure...
- No, you're not.

At something that
I already made a success.

I don't even know where to begin.

The book starts with a wedding.
The movie probably should too.

Trust yourself and write that scene.

Movie scenes are abbreviations.

They're snapshots.

While the wedding's
going on in the garden,

the bride's father is in the office,
handing out favors.

You wanna write it?

It's been weeks, and Puzo
hasn't written a single word.

Evans warned you about
hiring the novelist.

Peter, we couldn't
find anybody else.

Agencies won't touch us.
Not for a writer, a director.

The town wants this project to die.

To humiliate Evans for
taking a chance on the Rand guy

- who sold his first pitch
in the room. - Rand guy.

Look, it's not just you, Ruddy.

Talent is scared of
doing a gangster movie

after the last three bombed.

So how do we fix it?

Francis Ford Coppola.

He's brilliant.
He wrote the script for Patton,

and probably gonna
be nominated for an Oscar.

Now, he might do this,
but he'll wanna direct.

Evans will need
to be talked into it.

- It's worth taking a shot.
- That's a great idea.

Coppola owes Warners money,

and he has a very expensive
setup in San Francisco.

- How do you know that?
- A girl never reveals her secrets.

You should give him a call.

No.

Send Coppola the book.
Tell him I'm on my way.

Done.

Did you tell him to come to me?

- It was a good idea.
- Yeah, I got a lot of those.

How embarrassing for you.
I left you a message not to come.

I'm passing on The Godfather.

I got the message.

But I respect you
and what you stand for,

so I came to hear the reason why.

Okay. As an Italian, I don't
wanna glorify Mafia violence.

I agree with you.

You're right.
I mean, how do you glorify a man

who cut the head off a horse
and put it in a producer's bed?

- Yes. That producer...
- Deserved it.

Yes, he did.
It was a hell of a scene.

And Sonny gunned
down at a tollbooth.

Or Michael, seeing his wife's car
bombed in Sicily after the wedding,

I mean, priceless.

Francis, let me be candid.

You're in director jail.

And the only movie I produced,

like your last movie, didn't
exactly set the world on fire.

And in spite of that, here I am,

producer of the hottest
novel in the world,

and I'm begging you to take it on.

You're a true artist
and we need that.

You help Mario Puzo
finish this script,

we'll get you back on the floor.

Are you telling me that Bob Evans
is gonna let me direct this film?

It's not up to Bob, it's up to you.

Francis Ford Coppola will
help Puzo finish the script.

Well, he's a great writer, man.
Smart move.

He didn't hustle
you to let him direct?

No, I hustled him.

Look, we need an Italian to do this.

He's got a great vision, but
he could tell you about it himself.

Francis.

Hello, Bob.

Hey, Francis. How you been?

He wanted to tell you
a little bit about what he's

got in mind for The Godfather.

I'm listening. I'm all ears.

Okay.

So why is it that The Godfather is
selling more copies than the Bible?

You think it's about the
drug trade in 1946 in New York City?

Not at all.
It's a metaphor

for American capitalism.

The American dream.
The mythic battle for control.

Okay, what is our opening line?

"I believe in America."

How perfect is that?

And what is America
to this undertaker?

It's a land of opportunity

and it's a justice
system that has failed him.

It's Shakespeare. It's Greek.

Biblical. Epic.

Evil versus evil. Fun.

The Godfather is a story about men.

And they come together,
and they form a bond,

and they find justice
through loyalty.

Not ♪♪♪ law.

But at its core,
this is a story about family.

That's the secret sauce.

That is what has captured the
hearts and minds of the whole world.

You read it and you say,
"That's my family."

That's your family.

For Paramount,
it's the Corleone family.

I know how to make this film.

You need an Italian
to tell this tale.

Four million, all in,

not including prints and ads.
I can do that.

And he told me to
say that last part.

So, that's it.

That's my pitch.

That's great, Francis.

That is great stuff.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

I'm going to leave
you gentlemen to it.

I'm sure that we
will be talking soon.

Thanks, buddy. Good stuff.

Nice ♪♪♪ ambush.

Jesus. Taking a leaf
out of my playbook.

You don't like the rules much,
do you, Ruddy?

I don't know the rules.

Well, I guess it looks like
you've got yourself a director.

Nice work, kiddo.

Nice work.

Hey, Tommy,
your 1H figures are wrong again.

That's two weeks in a row.

- Send someone...
- All right. Listen up.

The ♪♪♪ book is still number one

and now they're
making a movie of it.

Well, I ain't gonna see it, boss.

The Jews got the JDL,

the Blacks got the NAACP,

- but who defends us,
the Italians? - Nobody.

Well, I'm starting.

Beginning now, the Italian-
American Civil Rights League.

No gagootz is gonna
push us around anymore.

What the ♪♪♪ are those flowers?

It's from Sinatra.

It says, "Hopefully we
can make this thing go away."

It's a funeral wreath.
The florist ♪♪♪ up.

No, he didn't ♪♪♪ up.

Sinatra wants us to
shut the picture down.

Get me Mickey Cohen in Los Angeles.

It's time to send a message.

It smells delicious, guys.

Yeah, it's a beautiful
piece of meat, huh?

Where you going with that knife?

I'm going to cut the
fat so that I can brown it.

Brown it?
My mother never browned anything.

- She fried it.
- What's the difference?

We have to put this in the picture.

What?

A scene about gangsters
arguing over sauce?

No, a scene about family
arguing over sauce.

Let's open another bottle of wine.

I'll get it.
You boys just keep on talking.

- I had a really lovely time.
- Yeah, that was lovely.

Yeah. My God,
they can eat a lot of food, though.

I think Puzo's been around
a kitchen once or twice.

Yeah.

I know. They're like this old,
married couple.

An old, married couple that
needs to start turning in pages.