All language subtitles for Shameless.S11E09.Episode.9.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.DDP.2.0.H.264-CHDWEB_track3_[eng]1

Look at me, right?

And look at the Queen.

I was never a fan until it occurred to me
how much me and Ma'am have in common.

Bringing up kiddies
you can't remember the names of.

I know she's not a single parent,
but she might as well be.

Plus, the pair of us,
we've stuck to our guns,

her literally sometimes,
and flagshipped a dying breed.

Admired and despised equally.

Not for never lifting a finger,

no, for setting examples
through extremity.

And whether you're a bigwig
on her end or a bigwig on mine,

you've still got all your dickheads
in the middle to deal with,

snip, snip, snipping at your benefits.

I mean, she can't not be
looking at me and thinking,

"What's your secret, Frank?"

I got shot of my kids yonks back,

whereas she's yet to see
the back of a single one.

Fine!

I've had to get out of bed
on occasion to make ends meet,

whereas she, she's done
the whole thing from a chair.

Oh, and a drink for the lady.

Oh, sure, there's perks.

But, look at her lot.

Brian May prancing about on her roof.

Now, look at my lot,

we know how to throw
a proper fucking pa-a-rty!

[Chesney] I know I don't look deep,
but sometimes I have thoughts,

big thoughts about life, death, love.

Top of your head,
how many kinds can you think of?

There's the unconditional kind
you're supposed to have for your kids,

the physical kind
between a man and a woman.

[moans]

Or a pig.

[moans]

But it's not just people.

You can love an idea, a state of mind.

It's all love.

But what do you do if it goes sour?

To truly hate something or someone,
you've got to have loved it first.

If hate comes from love
then it can always be put back.

Right?

[kids chattering]

-Mind out!
-[shattering]

Oh, sorry.

Forget it.

Did they get much?

Enough.

Get it back on insurance, though?

-No insurance?
-Shh.

Ouch.

Yeah, I know. Ouch.

Look, mate, I've got to get on.
What can I do for you?

Actually, I came to see Remona.

[door rattles]

Ah, there she is.

Now then, love,
look at you all domesticated.

I did say I'd be passing.

[Remona] And I did say "Not interested".

Let's see if I can simplify
that message further.

Piss off, Dad.

[door rattles]

I can see you've got
your hands full this morning.

Maybe if I pop back later?

Leave you to it, then.

-Oh, excuse me, love.
-[door rattles]

[door closes]

That was Remona's dad.

Messy bleeder, isn't he?

[door rattles]

Eh, couldn't lend us a quid, could you?

-For some tabs?
-You can have two.

Best part of you ran down
your mother's leg.

Coffee's on the table, help yourself.
No milk, though.

Shift, you.

[shuts the door]

Shame we can't just stay here all day,

making love...

falling asleep...

waking up...

making love again.

It'd be brilliant and everything but...

you know, I kind of think
they're going to need you.

Them suspects aren't going to be
throwing themselves down the stairs.

See you tomorrow, though, eh?

Say it.

You know, I need to hear it,
those three little words.

-You know I can't leave until--
-I love you.

I love you, too.

Mwah!

[sighs]

[car door closes]

[phone pings]

[coins tinkling]

[door rattles]

Tam's got Es!

[dog barking in distance]

Hey!

Oh, all right, son?

Sorry you got stuck
in the middle back there.

Oh, no, it's fine.

It's just Remona
always made her dad out to be--

-Older?
-Dead.

Yeah, yeah, that'd be right.

Always fancied herself
independent, that one.

So, are you and her?

No!

Not that I wouldn't.

I mean, I wouldn't,

not because there's owt wrong
with her, it's just--

I'm just messing.

-Business partners, right?
-Right.

You're the one that pays the insurance?

Yeah.

I sort of haven't mentioned it
to her yet, so.

My lips are sealed.

Not that she's in any hurry
to be listening to me anyway.

I don't blame her.

I was never around much.

Listen, you couldn't have
a word, could you?

I only want the chance to talk.

Plus, I'm pretty sure
when she hears what I've got to say

she'll stop worrying
about your insurance problems anymore.

So he has the odd party-smartie. So what?

So nothing, Frank.

I wasn't raised in a nunnery,

I couldn't care less
about a couple of pills.

Not a couple though, is it?

You could hardly call this personal use.

Oh, I don't know.

Maybe I should take 'em off
your hands, eh?

Out of sight, out of mind and all that.

Thieving little bastards.

Do you know what I'd do
if I had five minutes alone with them?

Sew their mouths up with fish-hooks
and burn out their eyes?

What?

-Nothing.
-[door rattles]

[door rattles]

Where've you been?

Do you want to tell me what that was
all about this morning with your dad?

Dad?

None of my business.

[Chesney]
He seemed to want to talk to you.

Well, I didn't want to talk to him.

Let's leave it at that.

-We don't get on.
-Why not?

Oof, 'cause he didn't come
to my ballet recital

and he never bought me a fucking pony.

All right?

You better go and get
those insurance documents,

I reckon we're a couple of grand out here.

No rush. I'll talk to them tomorrow.

No rush?

Yeah, you know, it's not my first robbery.

No point getting stressed.

In fact, I reckon
we get this place cleared up,

close early and head to the pub.

Put it all behind us.

# I'm horny Horny, horny, horny #

# So horny I'm horny, horny, horny #

# I'm horny I'm horny, horny, horny #

Where you going?

For a slash.

# I searched from town to town
but I can't find my bird ooh ooh #

-Young love, eh?
-Yeah.

We're all rooting for them.

[phone pings]

Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me.

Ah, that's what I like to see,
my daughter laughing and happy.

Oh, your Remona's dad?

I'm proud to say I am, yeah.

What are you doing here?

I just want to talk.

-You knew he was going to be here?
-I really think you should hear him out.

-I've got something for you.
-I don't care!

[Barry] Me and Mindy have been downsizing.

Sold your mom's old place.
This is your share.

-I don't want it.
-How much is it?

Patreesha!

[Chesney] Thirty grand.

[on mic] Shitting hell.

[Barry] I want you to have it.

Me and Mindy want you to have it.

Thank you.

Well, I reckon that 30 G
will stretch to a round.

For everybody!

[all cheering]

I know your lot don't approve of alcohol.

But you've got to spread
the happiness a bit, right, flower?

Some twat's been through my stuff.

[chuckles]

Twat, twat!

Know the difference
between buying and supplying?

Ten years.

What have you done with them?

Tucked them away safe.

You think you're so clever.

# That's why the lady is a tramp #

# She loves the free #

# Fresh wind in her hair #

-He's pretty good.
-Pretty good?

I'm getting a wide-on here
like a yawning fox.

# She's broke, but it's OK #

# It's California,
it's so cold and so damp #

Are you pissed off at me?

For not paying the insurance, yes.

For letting him smarm round you? No.

It's what he does.

All an act. Just like that is.

-# Yeah #
-[applause]

[Barry] Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen.

I'd chuck me knickers
but I'd have to ring 'em out first.

[Chesney] Nice one, Barry.

Uh, cheers, Chesney.

My wife Mindy likes
a bit of Ol' Blue Eyes.

Remona's mum did and all,
didn't she, love?

I don't remember her having any choice.

So come on, you have... all right?

You haven't even told me how you are.

-Peachy.
-Well, that's good.

Wish I could say the same.

I've not been too well.

Heart problems, you know?

Or you would if we talked any more.

I don't even remember the last time
you sent us a Christmas card.

I'm a Muslim.

I don't do Christmas, you know that.

You used to, when you were little.

I remember this one time,

when me and her mum were still together,

I was in bed,
I heard some noise downstairs.

I thought somebody had broken in.

So I crept down,
threw open the living room door

and there's Remona, holding a spanner.

She'd dismantled the fire and dumped it
into the middle of the floor.

She must've only been about six.

I said, "What are you doing?"

She said, "How the fuck can Santa
get down the chimney

with the fire in the way?"

[laughter]

Why don't you tell them
how that story ends?

How do you mean?

You can't have forgotten, surely?

I stepped out of line, didn't I?

How would
one of those stories usually end?

You're not going, are you?

Stay and have a drink with me,
with your friends.

Jamie, can we have another drink
for everybody here

and I'll settle up with you later, yeah?

[knocks]

Oh, ta.

[coughs]

Like old times, innit?

Fetching your old man his breakfast brew.

Not really.

When I was little, I could never work out
how to get the top off the rat-poison.

I've got it down now though.

Ah...

Never were a morning person, were you?

What was I supposed to do?

Leave the guy on the street?

Fuck's sake, Remona,
30 grand he just gave you.

[Remona] Yeah?

Well, the sooner it's spent the better.

Eh, do you reckon we still need a new van?

You serious?

If you could put some cash down
for one this morning,

I'll square up with you
once the cheque clears.

-Too fucking right, I can.
-Eh, eh, eh, sturdy and functional.

How many women
have described my good self.

[door rattles]

Hey, that was Mindy.

-Sends her love.
-My arse.

-Where is she anyway?
-Visiting her mum.

Wow, so that's why you're really here.
Didn't fancy being outnumbered?

[Barry] All right, yeah, couldn't stand
being under the same roof

as that miserable cow.

But I'm here because I wanted to see you.

I once again refer you to my arse.

I could swear I had some on me,
can we sort it later, yeah?

-No credit.
-Oh, come on, Bett-Laden!

Fucking 30 grand up?

You can't want the full whack
for a nose job

surely, not even with one like yours.

[groans]

That's my fucking daughter
you're talking to!

You have my condolences.

I stand up for myself!

[walks away]

-Barry, she--
-It's all right.

You off somewhere?

OK then, well, if he comes sniffing round,

I'll tell him to do one,
but he'll only score somewhere else.

You can leave me to worry about that one.

Thanks, Shane.

[door rattles]

Hiya.

What's she doing here?

Had a problem with the lad.

Needed some advice, why?

-I don't like her.
-Mm-hmm?

I can read people. Part of the job.

Speaking of jobs--

No, let's go to mine.

I want you all to myself.

Don't want anyone disturbing us.

Who's gonna disturb us anyway?

You tell me.

Other women asking for advice?

It's different--

Now them are some wheels
I could see you behind.

Remona wants a van.

Got to do what the boss says, eh?

Well, she's not my boss.
But, it is her money.

Sometimes in life, son,
you've got to make the call yourself,

worry about what other people say later.

Don't want to get to the end with now
but a list of regrets, believe me.

Get to the end?
You're not that fucking old, Barry.

Not always age
that see's you off, you know?

-So what are you saying?
-Here you are, mate!

Let me do the talking, lad.

It's the bollocks, innit?

That's one word for it.

-What the shitting fuck?
-What do you reckon?

-Got a good deal on it, too.
-Did you?

And what did you spend the rest on?

Some magic beans?

A van, Chesney! I said a van!

All the vans were overpriced, flower.

This was a steal.

Oh, I might have fucking known.

He talked the guy down an extra five ton.

He was amazing,
you should be thanking him.

Wake up, Chesney, for fuck's sake!

What?

It's me she's angry with, son, not you.

She hates me, I'm just making it worse.

Good to meet you, son.

What?

I've got an idea.

Dig in, Barry.

Well, this is nice.

I thought it would be a packet of cheese
and onion down the pub for my tea.

A family dinner.

Just what the doctor ordered, Chesney.

Cheers.

A family dinner?

In a sense.

'Cause this would be your perfect family,
of course?

I always hoped you'd settle down someday,

start one of your own.

Find a nice man to take care of you.

So, how long have you and Mindy
been together?

Nearly 30 years.

Don't regret a day.

Here.

-Wow. She's beautiful.
-She wants to be too.

Just had the works done,
facelift, boob job.

Over two grands worth.

-I paid for it, a birthday present.
-Yeah, yours.

Well, like I said,
a man has to take care of his woman.

Isn't that right, Chesney?

Er, think very carefully
about your answer.

[coughs]

Barry, you OK?

I'm all right. I'm all right.

No, it's all right.

I'm fine.

Something wrong, love?

Just what is it
you think that you're doing?

-Sorry?
-Remona.

A man takes care of his woman?
Is that your spin on it, is it?

Now, I know I'm a bit set in my ways,

I know I'm a little old-fashioned
in my beliefs.

I certainly don't mean
to be politically incorrect.

Well, I just happen to think,
in my culture, as well as in yours--

Don't! Just don't.

I'm not playing this game anymore.

I want you out of my flat.

Wait, your flat?

-Stay out of it, Chesney!
-I won't fucking stay out of it.

No, all right, son.

-I think maybe this was a bad idea.
-You're not going anywhere.

He's not going anywhere.

For fuck's sake, Remona, he's your Dad!

-He just gave you 30 grand.
-Pfft.

Take it, get out!

And don't ever come back.

[door closes]

Barry...

I'm so sorry about this.

-I don't know what--
-Just do me a favour, yeah?

Look out for her.

["Titanic" theme plays on TV]

And surprise, surprise, it sinks.

The end.

It's not about the ship sinking.

-It's a tragic romance.
-Mm.

It's that all right.

-Isn't she beautiful?
-Who, her?

-♪ Every night in my dreams ♪
-Bit porky.

Not really my type.

♪ I feel you ♪

She looks a bit like that Esther,
doesn't she?

Not really.

What was this advice
you were giving her anyway?

-What does it matter?
-Why won't you tell me?

-Because it's--
-What? Private?

A little secret between you and her?

Oh, for fuck's sake.

She's worried about her
lad dealing, all right?

And I don't think she'd be too made up
about me telling that fact

to a fucking copper, do you?

You didn't tell it to a copper,
you told it to your girlfriend.

[song continues]

You do know these are, like,
the extra strength ones?

Yeah.

Well, wouldn't be better off
with a toilet plunger?

They're not for me, they're for Frank.

His arse-pipes are bunged up to fuck.

Hard to believe he's still single.

Barry's left his heart pills
in the bathroom.

-So?
-He might need 'em?

-And me without a carrier pigeon.
-What's wrong with you?

Bad enough you throw his money
back in his face,

when we've still got a car to pay off,
stock to replace,

and a three figure tab down the Jockey.

All he was trying to do was help.

Out of the goodness
of his poorly, poorly heart.

[tyres screeching]

She's totally predictable.

Under the sink,

back of the knife draw

or, yep...

drawer number three.

[doorbell rings]

[doorbell rings]

[door rattles]

[knocks on door]

Barry! Barry!

-[bangs on door]
-Barry!

Barry?

-Barry!
-Whoa! What the fuck!

What, are you trying to give me
a heart attack?

I thought you'd had one.

I was just a bit upset
about what happened with Remona.

I had a few drinks, that's all.

Mm-hmm.

-Mindy still at her mum's, is she?
-Yeah.

Maybe we should ring her.

I told you, I'm fine.

I think you should come back to ours
just till Mindy's home.

You shouldn't be by yourself.

You reckon I'd be welcome there, do you?

My dad was a prick. Some dads are.
Maybe you were too.

But, the difference
is you want to change all that,

make things right, don't you?

You heard her. It's too late.

Wouldn't even take my money.
What does that say?

That you need to try again.

I dunno, I don't think I wanna keep on.

"Don't want to get to the end
with a list of regrets."

That's what you said, isn't it?

-Yeah, but--
-Then come on.

Oh, shit.

[sighs]

Will you just listen?

I went round to drop his pills off

and he was passed out
on the couch, pissed.

The place was a shithole.

Oh, stop, you're making me nostalgic.

I think Mindy's left him.
He's not admitted it, but--

-Is it true then?
-Yeah, it's true. She left.

I don't know where she is.

[Remona] The Stepford wife
breaks her programming.

Well, come on,
what finally pushed her over the edge?

We had a row,

about me wanting to see you,
about the money.

You can't stop, can you?

And you, you're actually buying
this bullshit, are you?

He's upset.

And he's not well
and I'm going to help him find her again.

And until I do, he's staying with us.

If he takes another step
inside that flat...

there is no us.

We're going as family.

So where's Tam?

He's going to meet us there, with Aidan.

It'll be fun and informative,

something for all generations
to enjoy together.

Karen and Shane are coming.

It'll be shit.

Anymore "twats" and "shits" out of you
and I'll break your fingers.

[door rattles]

-Room for a little fun?
-You coming along?

Oh, yeah, yeah,
big fan of Polish culture, me.

Yeah. And there's vodka tasting.

Oh.

Oh, you're taking the pills with you?

I think Tam's been looking for them.

Safer to keep 'em on me.

Well, there's easier ways
to get rid of a bag of pills, you know.

I'll bear it in mind.

Stick this on.

Bit of driving music
to get us in the mood.

Best of Frank Sinatra?

I like it. It soothes me.

[engine revs]

["Come Fly With Me" playing]

They'll have proper Polish grub,
traditional music,

probably get us doing the polka.

-I don't dance.
-Neither do the Poles.

You mentioned something about free vodka?

[Esther] Vodka tasting, yeah,
it's practically a religion with them.

Ninety eight percent proved...

Me and Kassi been to one of these once,
back at our old place.

I warn you now, after a few shots,
things can get a little raucous.

[soft music playing]

Fuck me, have the Germans just left?

Mindy comes here every month
to get her Botox done.

Another thing I fucking pay for.

You stay here.

Sorry.

Pierogi.

Farmer's cheese.

-Mm.
-Tastes like it.

Nothing like treating the palate
to exciting, new experiences, is there?

Speaking of which,
when's the vodka tasting commencing?

Only in the evening.

Otherwise, everyone get shitfaced.

-Right.
-Beer though.

What?

Oh, right.

Can't believe how shit this is.

I can.

But since we're here,
why not liven things up a bit?

Drive.

This isn't as much fun
as I'd led you to believe, is it?

No, it's great.

Yeah, yeah,
and you can stop grinning at me, too.

I didn't know I was.

All right. Point taken.

Clear off then,
take Saul and Thalia with you.

Family time's over.

Nice.

Feel free to join them.

I don't think so, do you?

Now that the hobbits have fucked off,
what's say we crack open the contraband?

Eh?

You don't want to go now, do you?

Not now it's all kicking off.

Fuck it. Why not?

Nah. I'm watching me figure, thanks.

[instrumental music plays]

[indistinct conversations]

Right.

I know I'm going to regret asking this,
but what's up with you?

It's me and your mum.

Things aren't going too well
at the moment,

so I'm just trying to think of ways
to bring us closer together.

Don't look at me, she's your wife.

But she's your mum.

Well, if I was married to her,

I can't believe I just fucking said that,

I wouldn't go for flowers
and all that shit, I'd do something big.

You know, a gesture, a declaration.

Surprise her.

Have you got something for me?

320, right?

Well, 321, to be exact,
but I'll let you off.

No, you won't.

I pay my debts.

Unless you want to toss for it.

You serious?

As a heart attack.

I'll have some of that.

-Heads.
-[tosses]

Maybe her mum's gone out for the day.

What about some of Mindy's friends?

-See if--
-She hasn't got any.

-She's got to have some.
-I said she hasn't got any.

Should've put this on the meter,
would've made a fortune.

I think you're forgetting
who paid for this car.

Er, I did.

Seeing as Remona
hasn't given me the money back.

Yeah, well, don't hold your breath.

She's tighter than a nun's chuff,

about as much fucking use.

Just like her mother.

What's this?

Two weeks redundancy.

I'm closing the chemist.

-Moving on.
-What?

# So deep in my heart,
you're almost a part of me #

Got you.

Now, then.

[cell phone rings]

-[Barry] Where's Mindy?
-Avril.

I don't know where she is.

Bollocks. Just bloody tell me.

Oh, fuck's sake,
I'll be back as soon as I can.

-I don't know!
-[Barry] Lying slag!

Don't keep her from me!

You fucking know where she is!

-Barry!
-You can't keep her from me!

-What?
-I need to get back.

Remona's closed the shop up.

So let her. You don't need her.

-I'm worried about her.
-Then you're a mug.

Wash your hands
and count yourself fucking lucky.

I need to get back, really.

So unless you fancy walking.

Then drive me again tomorrow.

[instrumental music playing]

You been to the bogs again?

Dunno what's up with me.

Stop leaving us on me todd, will you?

Every time you fuck off,

some old Polish dear comes up
and asks me to dance.

Oh, for fuck's sake, really?

Stop, stop, stop!

Are you actually buzzing? At all?

No.

Hey!

What sort of fucking duff pills
you selling her, lad?

Piss off, Frank. I'm a man of honour.

I never sell kids anything but pure grade.

I reckon they were a bad batch, you know.

Those pills your kid sold us, good shit.

Na zdrowie!

Tam, he's fucking had us!

-Oh!
-Oh!

Keep walking.

[bangs]

Hurry up, it's an emergency!

[man yells]

[sighs]

[screams]

Ta-da.

-[knocks on door]
-We're closed!

-What you doing here?
-I've left Barry.

I'm gonna go and live in Spain.

Oh, well, don't be a stranger.

He's taken me passport.

You've got to help me.

You can do that, can't you?

That sort of thing.

You've got contacts. I mean, you're--

Yeah, I'll get straight on the phone
to Al-Qaeda HQ, shall I?

Phony passport department, please?

He'll really hurt me this time...

or worse.

Can't believe I was outsmarted
by a 15-year-old.

I can't believe you were up Morris
dancing without the aid of class As.

This looks cosy.

What're you doing here?

Got a call about a disturbance.

That'll be Frank's arse.

-Look, why don't I leave you two alone?
-Make a fucking change.

-Have you got a problem?
-Yeah, you.

-Whoa!
-Hang on.

I am tired of seeing her buzzing
around you like a fly on shit.

We were just talking.

Not what I saw.

Sorry, I think I need to--

-Seriously, this is--
-Don't say anything, Shane.

-You'll make it worse.
-Sweetheart, really?

Are you saying I'm making it up?

I saw what I saw.

-[wind whooshing]
-[thunder rumbling]

How long's it going to take you to pack?

Well, it'll be a lot quicker
if you zip it.

[Barry] Hi, Mindy.
Just calling to make sure you're safe.

I'm really worried about you.

-Where you going?
-Haven't decided.

I love you.

Maybe you could come to Spain with me.

Get your mate to do you
a fake passport and all?

What a good idea.

Because he's got a two for one offer
on at the moment, as it goes.

Do they do that?

[door rattles]

-What the fuck is she doing here?
-Where's Barry?

He's on his way up.
You can't let him see her. He'll kill her.

Really?

So what happened to poor old cuddly Bazza?

You were right, I was wrong,
he's a bastard and I'm a twat.

-Just get her hid, quick.
-Right.

In the bedroom, G-O, go!

[Barry knocks on door]

You got any booze?

[door closes]

[Chesney] I've got some whisky somewhere.

[Frank Sinatra's "My Way" playing]

["My Way" continues in background]

These are nice. Are they Debenhams'?

[sobs]

What's up with you?

He's playing our song.

Which means he's really missing me.

Maybe this is a sign

that me and him are meant to be together.

We always were like Burton and Taylor.

You're not even Bert and fuckin' Ernie!

He's a bastard.
You're not going back to him.

Me plane leaves in the morning.

-Without a passport--
-I said I'd get that sorted!

Now, it'd be a lot easier

if we could get you round
to the guy's flat to do it,

but if the mountain won't come
to Muhammad--

I thought his name were Tariq?

There's just one thing.

He only does passports for Muslims.

I'm C of E.

I won't have time to convert!

I need a tissue. Where's me handbag?

Oh, shit.

[Chesney] Long day, eh? You must be tired.

I'm too pissed off to be tired.

Good night's sleep will sort that.

Do you want to do me up the arse?

What? No.

-Why are you trying to get me into bed?
-[door opens]

[Barry] Oh, I thought you'd gone.

[Remona] Well, you know us women...

fickle as fuck.

Anyway, it's not you I've come to see.

I've come about those
new carrier bags you ordered.

-You what?
-The bags.

They're no good.

Get rid of 'em.

[Chesney] Er, yeah, the bags.

I'll sort it.

["My Way" song continues]

Just left summat in the car, Barry.

Cheers.

[door rattles]

Well?

It's sorted.

Now all we need to do is sort you.

What's that for?

Converting to Islam's going
to be a lot easier than you think.

[birds chirping]

It'll be all right.

-Yeah.
-[door rattles]

Is he asleep?

Yeah, I think.

What happened to you?

Meet Fatima Abdul Zaid.

You might want to learn
to spell that, by the way.

Listen, Mindy, about all this,

I only helped him
'cause I thought he really loved you.

And, well, 'cause of his health.

What about his health?

You know, his heart and that.

His heart's fine.

He's got mild angina.

Lying turd!

So what's the plan then?

Well, if I'm gonna get her out of here,

I need you to get him off our backs
while I do it.

Don't make me spend any more time
with that prick, please.

You're the reason that prick's here.

Oh, and I'm going to need the car.

[sighs]

[dog barking in distance]

-Morning.
-All right.

-Sleep OK?
-Yeah, why?

Only, I kept hearing you going
to the bog all night.

I had an upset stomach.

Probably something I ate at the Centre.

Weird, 'cause Aidan texted earlier

and said Frank's had the shits
from some dodgy Es.

Really?

How come he can swear and I can't?

Say what you want. I don't care anymore.

Arse! Piss! Big fuckin' hairy clagnuts!

It's just rolls and stuff,
but I've got nothing in.

Too busy driving you about, I suppose.

-Yeah. You talk too much, Chesney.
-Oi!

-Watch the wheels, knobheads!
-They're shit wheels, anyway.

-Get lost.
-Piss off!

Yeah, little bastards!

[kid] Dick.

Kids, eh?

In case you're wondering,
toilets are that way.

Too late, I've already pissed
meself laughing.

You get the drinks
in while I go for a slash.

Yeah, I'd love to.

[party music playing]

All right, I admit,
I was jealous, paranoid.

You can't blame me, though, can you?

Er, I fucking can!

I know, but it's just I love you
and I don't want to lose you.

I'm sorry.

It's not me you need to apologise to.

I'll go see her, all right?

-No more undercover shite?
-No.

Not like that, anyway.

I've texted ahead,

your passport's ready
and he knows you're coming.

What do I call him?

Tariq or Muhammad?

Call him fucking sir.

Then give him this.

He's not doing it for love, is he?

Two grand and a little bit extra
till you get on your feet.

Oh, Remona, I can't!

Look, it's me mum's money.

And if she knew it meant getting one
over on that fucker,

she'd have approved.

Now, come on, go get changed.

Hurry up, hurry up.

Shane asked me to call,
apologise for last night.

-You don't have to.
-I wasn't going to.

So, I will keep this simple.
Stay away from him.

You can't tell me what to do.

Who the fuck do you think you are?

I'm a police officer.

And unless you want that lad of yours done

for possession with intent to supply,
I'd remember that.

[door opens, closes]

Mum, you all right?

Yeah, fine.

Babe, I've got something
I want to show you.

Close your eyes.

-I'm not falling for that again.
-Just close your eyes.

Oh.

I don't fucking believe that.

Right, I'm ready.

-What the fuck's that?
-It's you.

I got you tattooed on me arse.

Is this some sort of a joke?

Why, what's wrong?

Well, for one, it looks
like Jabba the fucking Hutt!

And two, it's on your arse.

I did it for you, to show you I love you.

Over a hijab?

It'll have to stay here.

OK.

Oh...

I've put it in me jacket pocket.

That's it.

Does this mean
I need to get changed again?

Right, forget it,
we've wasted enough time.

You're back to being Mindy.

Just, for some reason,
you're in a hijab and a roadkill jacket.

Enjoy the cavity search.

Right, come on,
you've got a plane to catch.

You're not going anywhere.

How long you been hiding here?

Just since last night.

Well, this was how you thought
you were gonna get away from me?

Dressed up like one of her fucking lot?

-Better than the state you left her in!
-Shut it.

You've made your point.

Now come home.

She's not going anywhere with you.

[screams] All right!

All right, I'll come.

[kids chattering]

-What's going on?
-I'm borrowing the car.

I'm not talking about the fucking car.

Where are you taking her?

It's all right, it's what I want.

It's not gonna happen!

Honestly, Chesney, it's fine.

Let's go, Barry. Let's just go home.

Get out of the car!

[Barry] Get off the bonnet, you mad bitch!

[Mindy] I'm fine, Remona.

Really!

Get fucked!

Get off the bonnet, or else!

Make me!

Barry, calm down!

I'm not moving.

I'm not moving.

[groans]

[engine revs]

[Chesney] Go on, Mindy!

Stop! You're mine!

I love you, Mindy.

You can't leave me!

How can you do this to me?

You did this to yourself.

You are a poisonous bitch.

Oh, Dad?

[groans]

That's for earlier.

And that's for Mum.

[groans, coughs]

[Chesney] I remember seeing
this psychiatrist or psychologist

on the telly once,

saying how love is just a chemical high
in the brain or something.

I can't remember the details.

But what I do know is that
when you love someone,

and they love you.

Or even when they stop loving you,

you don't feel it in your brain.

You feel it in your heart.

When you think about it,
love can be a right pain in the arse.

But I'll tell you something...

you'll miss it when it's gone.

[Aidan] William here's sick
of being bone idle.

-[Esther] What happened?
-Thalia is a bully.

-What?
-[Tam] You are a terrible mother.

No-one really pays much attention to me.
-[Mimi] You got a job?

-I look like a salesman, don't I?
-So?

[Billy] So who's to know any different?

If I tell her I'm a salesman,
I'm a salesman, aren't I?

[Aidan] A car? How much?

[Billy] Two hundred quid a week.
-You only make 150!

I've got to project an image
of success, haven't I?

Drinks on Billy!

-[people cheering]
-[Aidan] You're fucked now, Billy-boy.

You'll have to rob a bank to keep this up.

[chuckles]

-Sick.
-Sick.