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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,560 [tapping] 2 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:09,040 Anyone watching thinking we know fuck all 3 00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:12,520 about knowing fuck all about owt, needs to watch their backs! 4 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:13,480 Oh! 5 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:18,360 So you've had your Labour, reclassifying skunk, sending prices sky-high. 6 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:22,280 Literally, literally, taking the grass from its own roots. 7 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:25,080 And now you've got your Con-Dem-Nation. 8 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:28,840 Liberals noshing Tories like altar boys picking dimps up. 9 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:32,320 Have we had a national fucking stroke or what? 10 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:36,160 Is revolution a word or was it never? 11 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:37,920 Anybody watching needs to know, 12 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:42,160 we cope better than average with irony in Chatsworth. 13 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,480 Well, for fucks sake, we live in Manchester, 14 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,360 and they charge us for water? 15 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:53,040 I wandered lonely as a clown, necking mushrooms rarely found. 16 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,760 This green and pleasant land in ancient time. 17 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,360 Yak! Yak! Yak! Yak! Yak! Yak! 18 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:02,640 It's not theirs any more. 19 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:05,760 -This is our England now! -[cheering] 20 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:07,680 Party! 21 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:09,480 [theme music] 22 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:17,440 [humming] 23 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:28,000 [Jackson] Like it or not, competition is the marrow in our bones. 24 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:30,720 Without it, everything stagnates. 25 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:34,200 People, communities, society, everything. 26 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:37,760 Argh... 27 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,720 [Jackson] As soon as you stop competing, 28 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,880 if you rest on your laurels, and what you have, you've lost. 29 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:47,240 That's why some old bastards refuse to retire. 30 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:50,800 Work on until 70 and 80 and 85. 31 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:53,920 Because, if they stop competing, they'll die. 32 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:58,720 Competition drives us forward, individually and collectively. 33 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:02,880 Maybe greed is not good, but competition fucking is. 34 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:05,760 [thud] 35 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:07,440 It's in our DNA. 36 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:11,640 Fuck's sake, Shane. 37 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,400 I told you they won't be here long. We'll get shot of them no sweat. 38 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:17,600 Or they'll be here for a while, because we've got no chance of shifting them. 39 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,520 I thought you were flogging them locally? 40 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,360 Everyone who wants one has got one, sometimes two. 41 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:24,400 People are using them as patio furniture. 42 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:27,400 Supply and demand, Jackson. There's a world beyond the Chatsworth. 43 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,800 I just want them out my fucking yard. Makes us a target. 44 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,280 -His objection's political. -No, it's not. 45 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:36,720 Doesn't like robbing from the nice people in the nice houses, do you? 46 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:40,920 -I don't like robbing, period. -Oi, Question Time, shut the fuck up. 47 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:47,880 If I go to jail, it won't be for renewable energy. The fucking shame! 48 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,640 They'd stick you in with the nonces! 49 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,680 I think it's lovely. 50 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:04,720 The place smells of piss and cabbage. 51 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,120 Why be unpleasant? 52 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:10,520 What did it gain you, that little bit of fucking nastiness just now? 53 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,200 [Jamie] All right, I take it back! 54 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,920 The place smells of rose petals and Chanel No. 5. 55 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,480 Oi! What do you think you're doing? 56 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,480 They're not going to miss them. Half of them have forgot they smoke. 57 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:20,880 Re-distribute the cigarettes. 58 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,960 Same again all round, please. 59 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,160 Kiss. My. Arse. 60 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:31,760 What have I done? 61 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,640 [Jamie] Apart from casual theft and abuse of trust? 62 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,040 I think what you're doing is very kind, Patty. 63 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:43,280 Well... most of these folks have no-one. 64 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:46,600 Loved ones dead and gone, moved away, 65 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:48,840 or just couldn't be fecked with them anymore. 66 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,960 -I'll bring your drinks over, Patty. -Thank you. 67 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:53,440 What's that smell? 68 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:57,400 [Jackson] I am not clambering across any more roofs. 69 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:02,080 You never did. You held the ladder. I clambered across the fucking rooftops. 70 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:06,680 Whatever, I'm not doing it. I want a proper, legit business. 71 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:10,120 If you want to stay the Artful Dodger all your life, go ahead. 72 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,320 -What are you doing? -Saving myself a job. 73 00:04:17,399 --> 00:04:20,360 I'd only have to pack it up and take it to the dump. 74 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,040 You can't give it away! 75 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:25,000 Jackson, it's the end-of-the-day shit that even we can't get shot of. 76 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:26,320 Fucking dogs wouldn't eat it. 77 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,520 Carry on. It's fine for you. 78 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,840 This is a business. 79 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:34,760 Allow them a loaf and bag of stale lettuce, 80 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:37,480 while they ponder where they might sleep tonight. 81 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:40,240 Again, feel free to continue. 82 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:44,960 Basic economics. People won't pay for stuff they can get for free. 83 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:46,640 Economics, my arse. 84 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,440 -You're a snob. -Bollocks. 85 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,640 You won't steal solar panels from the middle class, 86 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,200 but you're happy to see them starve. 87 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:54,880 I hate tramps as much as the next man, 88 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:58,520 but you can't stand by and watch them starve, while you bin grub. 89 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,960 Yes, you can. Word gets out you're giving it away, 90 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,880 we won't have a business or money, or fuck all! 91 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,080 Go on then. Ask them for it back. 92 00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:11,280 As of tomorrow, we split what's left down the middle. 93 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,440 Fair enough. 94 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,120 -You'll damage us. -No, I won't. 95 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,760 I'll feed a couple of muppets, 96 00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:19,160 and I'll get to feel less of a cunt for a while. 97 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:20,520 What could be better? 98 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,160 Never put her hand in her pocket all day, 99 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,640 started a kitty, and then pocketed the change. 100 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:31,240 -Smart as paint, that one. -[Jamie] Hm. 101 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:36,600 [Ruby] It's a gender thing. 102 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:40,680 Men need sex, women choose sex. 103 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,360 It's not a choice with me. I can't go without. 104 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:44,640 Can tell by the way you walk. 105 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:48,720 -Cheeky. -I'm with Ruby. We're fighting biology. 106 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:55,520 Women are more evolved, more developed. We choose our partners. 107 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,520 Men would fuck a hole in the wall if they had to. 108 00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:01,000 -They're like animals with needs. -Shut up. I'm single. 109 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:04,680 I am living in hope of finding the last remaining good one. 110 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:07,040 [Gloria] Oh, that ship sailed long ago, love. 111 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,480 Last good man, Cary Grant. 112 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,560 [sound of a dog growling] 113 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:16,520 -[Mimi] Open relationship, my arse! -Ah! Ah! 114 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:17,880 -Out! -I'm just finishing-- 115 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,080 Out! 116 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,200 You have needs. 117 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:26,640 Food, shelter, and basic sanitation. 118 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,080 Would you shag a hole in the wall? 119 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,200 Do you want me to? 120 00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:35,200 We haven't had sex in three weeks. 121 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:37,680 You're always too tired. 122 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,760 You're asleep before me every night. 123 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:42,120 Then I'm always tired. 124 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:48,080 When I finish my shift, we're going to do some riding. 125 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,360 Place your bets. 126 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,120 Now's your chance to win back some of your cash. 127 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:06,240 [sniffs] Again? 128 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:07,480 In the living room. 129 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,520 [Kelly clears her throat] 130 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,280 Someone'll steal your fags one day. We all get old. 131 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:19,640 [woman] Oh, gosh! She hit me! Get off! 132 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,120 Pack it in, the pair of you! Lend a fucking hand! 133 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,520 She's robbed my watch! 134 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,920 Does someone want to tell me what this is all about? 135 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,200 I won the watch fair and square. 136 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:36,480 I took it off, cause I'm retaining water, and my wrists are all swelled up. 137 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:38,840 Next thing, it's on her wrist! 138 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:41,680 The mad cow ran out of money and wagered the watch. 139 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,760 [gasps] I did no such thing. 140 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,480 I extend the hand of friendship to you people, 141 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:51,200 and this is how I'm repaid? I'm attacked in my own home. 142 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,320 I think it's time you all left. 143 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:02,840 Come on. That's it. 144 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,720 Tell me that woman was mistaken. 145 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:13,240 She barely knows Christmas from Tuesday. 146 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:32,679 [Mimi and Billy moaning] 147 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,000 -Are they... -Like rabbits. 148 00:08:56,680 --> 00:09:01,200 Running commentary for a good hour now. My sainted mother. 149 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:05,160 [moaning continues] 150 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:10,160 Oh, that was fucking awesome. 151 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:14,320 You could suck the chrome off an exhaust pipe. 152 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,360 -Ow! What the fuck? -You're faking it. 153 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:18,720 I'm not. 154 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,920 I didn't get a chance to spit or swallow. 155 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:24,600 There's fuck all there! It's dry as the Gobi. 156 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:30,200 How long's this been going on? 157 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:36,440 -Don't you love me anymore? -Now you're just offending me. 158 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:38,320 -What's going on? -Nothing! 159 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:46,160 I'll just finish myself off then, shall I? 160 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,880 Taped Corrie for you. Omnibus. 161 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:07,520 [Shane] Ah! 162 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,520 Poor buggers have hardly got two brain cells as a group, 163 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,200 and you're fleecing them? 164 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:15,560 It was a card game. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. 165 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,920 -They lost. -Should be ashamed of yourself. 166 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,280 You were robbing their cigarettes. 167 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:24,480 With no skill whatsoever, I may add. Might as well have sounded a klaxon. 168 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:27,480 -A few tabs isn't purses and jewellery. -No, it isn't. 169 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:34,160 Where do you two get the nerve to try and occupy the moral high ground? 170 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:39,640 You, a harlot, in the old-fashioned Biblical sense. 171 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:44,000 And you, a truanting, occasional drug-running little arsehole. 172 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,800 Hardly paragons of virtue. 173 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:21,000 -Come ahead, you fucking pricks! -Look, you got us wrong! 174 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:22,600 You're Shane Maguire. 175 00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:27,640 -What the fuck's it to you? -Ya! What you doing? 176 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,640 These fuckers are after doing me in. 177 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:32,040 We just want... food. 178 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:34,640 Food? 179 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:36,760 Been out of work since summer. We heard you help people. 180 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,440 Oh, for fuck's sake. 181 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:42,320 [chuckles] You help people, like Spiderman. 182 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,640 And what were you going to do, Chatsworth Ninja, 183 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,400 fucking meditate them into submission? 184 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,200 -It was karate. -It was bollocks. 185 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:50,960 Let's get some food for these muppets. 186 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:53,880 Oh, no, that's your look-out, fuck all to do with me. 187 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,760 He'll do you a good deal on a solar panel as well, lads. 188 00:11:56,840 --> 00:12:02,800 -Heat your water with the Manchester sun. -Oh, fuck off. 189 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:10,720 She was on a losing streak and accused me. Me! 190 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,840 Of dishonesty, in an attempt to recover her losses. 191 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,720 [Chesney] Why not give it back? 192 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:18,560 All right, Jez? 193 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:19,720 Excuse me? 194 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:24,320 You should be gambling for coppers, not watches and pearls and shit. 195 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:28,120 It's not fair for the people with... you know, mental. 196 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,000 Dementia or not, a bet's a bet, there's a principle. 197 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:33,440 And you wonder how come you've got no mates. 198 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:37,000 I have many close... acquaintances. 199 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:39,600 [door closes] 200 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,320 We'll give you 40 for this. 201 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:52,520 [chatter] 202 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,960 What the fuck's going on? 203 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,000 [man] Excuse I. 204 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,920 And a herb and avocado wrap, please. 205 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,840 Out of my way, you fucking tramp. 206 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,880 You were supposed to clear the yard, not fill it up 207 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,600 -with the Boys from the Blackstuff. -He's proving a point. 208 00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:19,560 -Oh, that shite attracts flies? -That he can give away left-over stock, 209 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,920 without it affecting the business, or his life. 210 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,560 They kept coming all fucking day, 211 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:28,480 I thought it'd make more sense to throw it all together, make a big pot. 212 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,080 So you're Mother Theresa now, then? 213 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:32,360 I'm trying to get shot of the smelly bastards. 214 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,560 Thought this might be a bit quicker. 215 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:37,600 You want to earn your place in heaven, 216 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:41,880 take your spares down to Saint Macs, Father McGinn runs a kitchen there. 217 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,440 Fuck. I'm not trying to... 218 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:51,960 Shouldn't laugh quite so hard, peed yourself a little bit there. 219 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:59,920 All right, one at a fucking time. 220 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:04,360 I want my yard back. Fucking move, you scruffy twats! 221 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:09,120 -Have you got any bacon? -What do you think? 222 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,840 -[Chesney] You're firing blanks? -Don't say nothing, please. 223 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,640 You got a kid, you can't be. 224 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,040 No, it's not exactly blanks, 225 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,720 everything's as usual, and the sex is fucking mint, 226 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:25,600 it's just... every time I pull the trigger, no bullets. 227 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,440 Maybe you are faking it. 228 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:29,240 -I'd know, wouldn't I? -Men can't fake it. 229 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,080 Pshh. Of course they can. 230 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,880 This one time, I was banging a right dog, yeah, 231 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,840 so I'm fucking pounding away and pounding away, 232 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:40,720 but, no flourish at the end, you know. So, I faked it all. 233 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,760 -"Argh, yeah, baby, I'm going to come..." -[they laugh] 234 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,000 [Billy] Fuck off! 235 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,080 Did she not know? 236 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,000 Nah, man, she was just grateful. 237 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,600 -Yeah, grateful that you got off her. -Twat. 238 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:56,880 [laughter] 239 00:14:56,960 --> 00:15:00,840 Shit. Nah, but honestly, the sex is fucking amazing, 240 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:05,360 and loads of it, but it's just no spunk. 241 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:08,400 Maybe I've used it all up. 242 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:30,680 You can't get a tan off them, you know? 243 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,480 Get upstairs, I'm going to fuck you juicy. 244 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,280 Thought you'd gone to work. 245 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:55,160 Just heading. Bye, now. [clears throat] 246 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:08,440 That's the last of them, Father. Stack the pallets, I'll pick them up later. 247 00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:10,680 I can't tell you how grateful we are, Shane. 248 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,840 Well, was only going to toss it, so... 249 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:16,040 I shouldn't be worrying about where they've come from, should I? 250 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:18,920 No, it's all legit. Pass it on with a clear conscience. 251 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,880 I'll give your regards to me mam, yeah? 252 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,640 Come to the hall later, 253 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,800 see the difference your generosity can make. 254 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:26,680 If this is to be a regular thing, 255 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:28,920 you should at least see where your donation goes. 256 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,760 With all due respect, Father, 257 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,960 I'm not naturally sympathetic to tramps. 258 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:34,520 The homeless. 259 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,800 You're on your uppers, don't go asking for hand-outs, get off your arse and sort it. 260 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:38,880 So, why help? 261 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,720 Like I say, it was either here or the bin. Don't make me Gandhi. 262 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:57,560 Price tag over sell-by, they've at least got a couple of days in them. 263 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,200 -Brie and black grape? -Shaun Ryder. 264 00:17:05,319 --> 00:17:07,280 -What? -Nothing. 265 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:12,960 C'mon, it's a job lot, you can't pick and choose, it's all or nothing. 266 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:19,880 -I'll give you a tenner for the lot. -Fuck off! 267 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,960 There's 100 items here, easy. Forty. 268 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:31,520 This is me being generous. 269 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:37,280 Cheers, man. 270 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:47,520 Can I have this back, please? 271 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:55,200 Get some weed. Yeah, let's get a load of sweets for tonight. 272 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,640 -Late munch. -Too late. 273 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:01,920 What? Are you joking? 274 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:09,080 [whispering] Oh, fuck. 275 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,560 [panting] 276 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,320 How many times is that? 277 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,680 Three, maybe four. 278 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:19,680 Anything? 279 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,080 Dry as Gandhi's flip-flop. 280 00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:26,880 Thought so. I've got friction burns. 281 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,120 Do you want to quit? 282 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:31,720 Fuck, no. 283 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:35,440 The only way to get over a bad patch is to hump your way out of it. 284 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:42,880 Just let me baste the goose. Come on. 285 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,520 Fuck. 286 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,920 Jesus, Tish. 287 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,040 Shouldn't you be hanging around street corners drinking cider? 288 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,480 I'm not going to ask, you're going to have to tell me. 289 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,960 You know, like you said I could have Nana's wedding ring when you died? 290 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,920 When I die, future tense. 291 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,440 I kind of borrowed it. 292 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,520 Explain "kind of". 293 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,280 You're not allowed to wear jewellery to school. 294 00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:30,280 I pawned it. 295 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,160 And they've lost it. 296 00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:45,600 [Chesney] Where's the ring? 297 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,280 She's still got plenty of time to get it back. 298 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:53,760 She must have altered the receipt, you know what kids are like. 299 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,440 Where is it? 300 00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,680 I may have weighed it and sent it off for cash. 301 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:02,480 Sent to whom? 302 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,800 I packed up a whole load of unclaimed, 303 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,120 second-rate items to one of those companies, um, 304 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:12,720 brass for gold dot www or something. 305 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,720 It... It may have got mixed up with that. 306 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,560 You sold my mum's ring on to some trashy scrap merchant? 307 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,880 What I sent was little better than costume jewellery. 308 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:27,240 You're welcome to the money, I don't want it, it's tainted. 309 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:30,440 Now, if you don't mind, I'm having my fecking tea. 310 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:34,600 Lapsang Souchong, mind, none of your Darjeeling crap. 311 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,240 You're mental. 312 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:37,680 No, I'm livid. 313 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,240 What kind of world is it where a poor pensioner 314 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:41,880 can't eat her cake in peace? 315 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,360 There must be a cancellation clause, a declaration? 316 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,840 I signed all the forms, it's above board. 317 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,920 It wasn't yours to sell. You stole it. 318 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,440 How dare you! 319 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:53,640 I want the ring back, or I'm going to the police. 320 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,760 -They'll laugh at you. -Be with you in five minutes, mate. 321 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,400 I'm just looking for my wife's engagement ring. 322 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,000 [whispering] Feck! 323 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:07,520 Muesli, yoghurt, bio-thingy, freshly squeezed orange, 324 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:11,800 fresh coffee and for dessert, a little bit of bugle. 325 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,480 Oh, really? All day? 326 00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,800 I've been stuck here for hours. 327 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:21,040 Leave, before she gets her powdered rhino horn out. 328 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,080 You ready for the next round, lover? 329 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:31,360 Baby? 330 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:40,880 I've got no spunk. 331 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:46,280 For weeks, I keep coming and coming, and everything's great, 332 00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:50,040 but nothing comes out. I'm totally dry. 333 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:52,560 I'm spunkless. 334 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,440 [priest] Are you sure this won't affect your business? 335 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:09,680 I'm determined it won't. My partner's laughing up his cuff at me. 336 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:11,200 Might have a point. 337 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,960 You can't afford to show weakness in business these days. 338 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:15,560 [Shane] We do all right. 339 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:19,480 Oh, sorry, guys, you're too late. Were eaten out of house and home. 340 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:22,360 Sally Army in Langley run a kitchen till nine, though. 341 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:27,160 Quite a bit still left there. Would've done them. 342 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,520 You need to establish boundaries, or it gets unmanageable. 343 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,480 Feed those guys now, and two more will be along in half an hour, 344 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:37,080 then three more an hour after that. You end up a 24/7 cafe. 345 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:40,360 And besides, it helps people in their situation 346 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:45,000 to have some structure, some rules. Helps give shape to their day. 347 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:49,200 Well, I don't know how you do it, I wouldn't have the patience. 348 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,600 -Same time tomorrow, Padre. -Yep. 349 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,840 How are we today? Mind if I join you? 350 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:45,000 Keep it to yourselves, but you'll never believe 351 00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:50,520 -who I saw doing the walk of shame-- -Give it a rest, Patty. Not interested. 352 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:09,400 [people whispering] 353 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:13,200 [woman] You bitch. 354 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,240 [woman] Yeah, go on, piss off. 355 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,120 There's tea in the pot. 356 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,200 I've been made redundant. 357 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,040 Did you hear? 358 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,840 It would seem I'm to be made a scapegoat, 359 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:57,400 for all sorts of the pent-up bitterness from every quarter. 360 00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:01,440 Little more than victimisation, 361 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:05,160 and me, a senior citizen with special needs. 362 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,720 I'm not sure my health is up to it. 363 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:15,040 Twenty-six people you stole from, that's the ones we know about, 364 00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:18,400 some in a far worse state than you. 365 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,760 And not a word of fucking remorse. 366 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:29,440 -I'm sorry, all right? -[door closes] 367 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,200 If that's what it takes. 368 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:37,240 Maybe I'm being punished by... 369 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:40,560 you know who. I've fucked too much, enjoyed it more than I should. 370 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:45,000 Sex is a gift from God, baby, you're supposed to enjoy it. 371 00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:49,560 All those little Rain Man thoughts running about up there. 372 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,120 Don't think, just do. 373 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,720 Actually, that might be the worst thing you can do. 374 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,600 If you don't mind me butting in. 375 00:25:57,680 --> 00:25:59,360 It's kind of personal, Father. 376 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,200 Don't call him Father. He's not even practising. 377 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:06,080 Just a random bloke who wants to talk about my spunk. 378 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:07,400 I know something about this. 379 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:08,720 What, God or spunk? 380 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,600 We could use the help. 381 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,560 Is something bothering you, making you anxious? 382 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:14,680 I don't think so. 383 00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:16,880 Happy with your life, marriage? 384 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,680 I love Mimi right. Don't ever say that. 385 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,760 The Scouser's right, you don't have to overthink these things, 386 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:24,480 it's a bodily function. 387 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:27,680 Right, this is a private conversation. 388 00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:29,760 It's not an uncommon problem. 389 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:33,480 The pair of you, come round to mine later. Soon it'll be sorted. 390 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:34,840 Oh! 391 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:49,440 You're late. 392 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,320 Sorry, my partner was busy walking on water. 393 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,720 -Should've come earlier, it's all gone. -What has? 394 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:58,840 Everything. Produce, bakery, ready meals, about an hour ago. 395 00:26:58,920 --> 00:26:59,840 I'm not following. 396 00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:02,800 Manager brought a bloke down, got us to load it into the van, 397 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,560 supposed to have it ready for collection same time, every day. 398 00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:06,680 What bloke? 399 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:08,360 The priest, from Saint Macs. 400 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:11,480 He gets all the sell-by from now on, totally gratis. 401 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:13,960 I'm gutted, that were a nice little earner. 402 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,000 F... 403 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:31,040 No way are these ten-denier, Chesney. No light gets through. 404 00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:32,480 Fucking 80 if they're a day. 405 00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,200 It says ten on the packet. 406 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:36,560 Yeah, and made in Uzbekistan. 407 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:37,920 Oh, for fuck's sake. 408 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:41,320 I'll be gone before you know it. I've come to collect my things. 409 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:43,120 Yeah, I've boxed them up. 410 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:46,400 Are you all right? 411 00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:48,840 I'm fine. 412 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:50,960 [Avril] Did someone throw that at you? 413 00:27:56,280 --> 00:28:00,200 Don't matter what she did, throwing things at an old lady is not right. 414 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:01,960 No, it's not. 415 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,040 I fucking told you. 416 00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:24,720 How was I supposed to know we'd get done over by a priest? 417 00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,920 You've cost me my living, you've lost our business 418 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,800 because you wanted to get one over on me and feel good about yourself. 419 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:32,680 It's fuck all to do with that and you know it. 420 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:34,840 Basic common sense. 421 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,920 You give something for nothing and people will grab it off you, 422 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:39,680 because you put no value on it. 423 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:41,280 That's not entirely true, is it? 424 00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:42,840 You gave it away! 425 00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:46,720 You valued the business at nothing, so now we have nothing! 426 00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:50,320 Look at this place, you're not a businessman, 427 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,880 you're a petty thief, slash, rag and bone man, 428 00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:54,480 you're fucking klepto Steptoe. 429 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:58,480 There's got to be some kind of mistake, right? He's a priest. 430 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:11,160 How many times? You cannot get a tan from a solar panel! 431 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:12,560 Jesus! 432 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,080 -Thinks he knows everything. -Hm. 433 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:32,960 [commentary from TV] 434 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:34,480 [sighs] 435 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:37,640 Night. 436 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:52,680 Why did you do it? 437 00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,040 I never thought they'd return for their goods. 438 00:29:57,120 --> 00:30:00,480 Most don't. Glad to get what little we can give them. 439 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:05,000 I never asked you to explain the opportunity. I asked why. 440 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:13,040 You and Marty will be making a life for yourselves, some place. 441 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:15,920 And Aidan has his future ahead of him, 442 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,920 which leaves me with Frank Gallagher, 443 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,760 and who's going to look after me then? 444 00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:26,320 Bollocks. Don't kid a fucking kidder. This isn't about a rainy-day fund. 445 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:29,160 Don't keep lying, Patty. 446 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:31,600 Much like yourself, it's getting old. 447 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:44,320 "Anejaculation." It's a condition, dry cumming. 448 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:45,600 Am I dying? 449 00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,320 Don't be fucking soft. 450 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:52,720 Dominic was right, it's anxiety. Your jizz is worried about coming out. 451 00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:57,400 What the fuck's that? 452 00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,920 An electro-ejaculator, 453 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:03,600 a gift from a grateful psychiatric nurse, back in the day. 454 00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,280 I wiped it down wi' Vim. 455 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:08,240 How does it work? 456 00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:11,800 It stimulates the prostate gland. Milks the man, essentially. 457 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:14,160 Is the prostate the one at the back of the throat? 458 00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:15,400 The other one. 459 00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:17,440 Oh. 460 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,760 All right, baby? Is it in? 461 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:26,840 Ah! 462 00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:28,680 -Likes to keep himself nice and clean. -[moans] 463 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:31,160 He's a stickler. Kind of ironic, really, 464 00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:34,360 considering you're such a fan of back-door this, back-door that. 465 00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:36,760 [he groans] 466 00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:40,000 Fuck me. Love is... 467 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,000 Wonder how long it'll take. 468 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:47,920 -That should do it. -Fuck. 469 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,320 I've put some credit on that. So if you need me, ring. 470 00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:57,960 But don't take the piss. 471 00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:01,040 -Get to fucking school! -I'm going. 472 00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:04,480 Was on the step. Has your name on it. 473 00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:06,800 [Kelly] They're going to make you repeat, you know. 474 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:09,480 You'll be in school till you're fucking 24. 475 00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:10,840 Can they do that? 476 00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:12,360 Oh, my... 477 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:18,480 Jesus Christ! It's shit! It's human shit! 478 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:20,440 -How do you know? -Be my guest. 479 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:27,680 [priest] Here we are. Better late than never. On you go. Come on. 480 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:31,720 -How many pallets is that? What a bastard. -[priest] Hello. How are you? All right? 481 00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:32,920 I am fucking having him. 482 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:36,880 No violence. Makes him a victim, gets him sympathy. 483 00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:41,320 Sympathy keeping you warm, is it? 484 00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:42,520 Dick. 485 00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:51,600 [Shane] You stitched us up. 486 00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:53,560 You said it wouldn't affect your business. 487 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:56,440 There is no business any more, you've taken it. 488 00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,800 -Shut us down. -All's fair in love, war and business. 489 00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:01,960 [laughs] It's a brilliant idea, 490 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:04,720 making use of what greedy corporate giants throw away. 491 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:07,880 You couldn't buy publicity like this. 492 00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:12,000 How kind they are, how humane. Everyone's a winner! 493 00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:13,160 Except us. 494 00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:15,400 Collateral damage. 495 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,560 Think of it as a sacrifice for the greater good. 496 00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:20,840 That business was our livelihood. 497 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:23,760 Not much of a business, living off scraps. 498 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,760 I'm sorry, mate, I was wrong. 499 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:31,680 I owe you an apology, but I will make it up to you. 500 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,480 I hope that's not a threat. 501 00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:35,880 Threats. 502 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:39,240 Now that is my business. 503 00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:45,040 What are you going to do then? 504 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:46,480 Haven't a clue, mate. 505 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,680 [Dominic] McGinn's one of the good guys, old school mind, 506 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:55,920 bit Old Testament, not big on tolerance. 507 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,240 Not big on tolerance. 508 00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:00,160 What do you mean? 509 00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:05,200 Well, he's been at St. Macs for 27 years. You know, one parish, all the time. 510 00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:06,400 Thank you. 511 00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:09,280 Used to be a smart area. He hates the fact that it's not now. 512 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,960 You can see the resentment sweating through his pores. 513 00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:15,360 So, doesn't tolerate who? 514 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:18,800 Anybody who doesn't meet his exacting standards. 515 00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,760 Put your pen down. Don't be a loser all your life. 516 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:38,480 Sent it back, no questions asked. 517 00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:40,760 Can I have it back now? I've learnt my lesson. 518 00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:43,159 When I'm dead, that's when you can have it back. 519 00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:44,719 Fuck! 520 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:50,480 Call an ambulance. Quick! 521 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:57,400 [man] Have you checked her pulse? 522 00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:00,680 So, are we supposed to use this every time we... 523 00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:03,480 No, baby. 524 00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:04,960 Emergencies only. 525 00:35:06,240 --> 00:35:08,040 Well, am I fixed? 526 00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,200 I don't think you are. 527 00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:25,000 There's nothing wrong with you physically. It's in your head. 528 00:35:26,720 --> 00:35:30,320 Something's bothering you so much, that you don't want to... 529 00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,720 -do that with me. -That's not true. 530 00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:36,960 Subconsciously, it's in your head. 531 00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:41,240 I know you think you love me. 532 00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:42,560 I do! 533 00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:48,760 Maybe what you really want, deep down, 534 00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:51,040 is to be with girls your own age. 535 00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:57,160 Like that bit of stuff you were hanging all over 536 00:35:57,240 --> 00:35:58,600 at the pool table the other night. 537 00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:00,200 She was just a mate. 538 00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:06,560 There's something blocking your pipes. 539 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:08,480 And I don't want to get in your way. 540 00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:10,080 You're not in the way. 541 00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:13,360 They're in the way. All the girls you make me see. 542 00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:19,000 I don't want to sleep with anyone else. I just want to be with you. 543 00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:23,600 Don't cry, please. 544 00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:26,720 I married you and I only want to be with you. 545 00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:39,960 Ah... Ah... 546 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:43,360 What's wrong? 547 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,040 I've just come in my pants. 548 00:36:53,240 --> 00:36:57,480 What do you need him for? He's not a manager, he's an assistant. 549 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:09,120 [music playing] 550 00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:36,640 I've never really seen him cry before. 551 00:37:36,720 --> 00:37:39,440 Not properly, sobbing, tears. 552 00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:41,920 That's got to be a good thing. 553 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:46,200 He's able to express himself, let his feelings out. 554 00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:49,320 It's the other thing that worries me. 555 00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:54,840 Seems to be unblocked everywhere. 556 00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:57,880 You know, he's clearly been holding it all in. 557 00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,840 Love you, baby. 558 00:38:01,240 --> 00:38:03,120 [sobs] Thank you, babe. 559 00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,480 Oh. Oh... Ah... 560 00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:08,560 Fuck. 561 00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:23,120 We don't want any trouble. 562 00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:25,640 No trouble from me, Padre. 563 00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:27,960 I just want you to know, I'm onto you. 564 00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:29,320 Good for you. 565 00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:32,400 Man in your position has a lot to lose. 566 00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:34,480 It's a pity. 567 00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:36,200 I won't be intimidated. 568 00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:42,440 Wait! 569 00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:49,600 I will go to the police. 570 00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:51,960 There is nothing you can legitimately-- 571 00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:53,840 -You're a bigot. -Huh? 572 00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:58,360 No blacks, no Asians, no gays. 573 00:38:59,720 --> 00:39:01,240 It's not true! 574 00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:03,840 We care for all colours, creeds and sexualities here. 575 00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:04,920 Bollocks. 576 00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:09,280 I know the sting of bigotry. 577 00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:12,840 I have experienced the sharp end of prejudice, 578 00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:16,240 so don't think you can play that card with me. 579 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,200 Used to be black, did you? 580 00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:21,880 I'm a homosexual, as it happens. 581 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:24,360 I don't practise, of course. That would be sinful. 582 00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:26,240 Now, that is fucked up for a start. 583 00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:27,400 Do you mind? 584 00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:31,720 I can't open the door to everybody who comes knocking. 585 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:34,120 We'd be swamped with the wrong type. 586 00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:36,080 The "wrong type"? 587 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:40,120 I don't care about gay or straight, creed or colour, 588 00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:43,120 I'm talking about you people. 589 00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:45,080 You filthy fucking people, 590 00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:48,160 with your crime and your drugs and your constant breeding. 591 00:39:48,240 --> 00:39:50,400 Always breeding! 592 00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,440 You should all be sterilised. 593 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:55,360 Like I said... a bigot. 594 00:39:55,440 --> 00:40:00,320 This was a good area. Schools, houses, nice roads, 595 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:03,840 but then the Underbelly had to be given a chance. 596 00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:07,040 Good people are supposed to be protected from your kind. 597 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:09,400 -The "wrong type", yeah? -Yes, the wrong fucking type. 598 00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:15,040 Well, maybe all the "wrong type" could live in the same place, 599 00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:17,800 maybe get 'em a little uniform... 600 00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:19,560 Stripes, 601 00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:20,880 little yellow star. 602 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:23,680 That is beneath you. 603 00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:27,560 But not beneath you, apparently. 604 00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:32,160 Now I'm guessing this could be the wrong kind of publicity. 605 00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:33,840 Meet Mr. Wardak. 606 00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:37,040 I believe his employer supplied todays foodstuffs. 607 00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,440 Blackmail? 608 00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:43,720 That's, uh... 609 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:45,200 rather crass. 610 00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:46,560 But effective. 611 00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:54,080 All is fair in love, war and business, Padre. 612 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:02,360 You really don't want to? 613 00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,880 No. I hate sleeping with other women, 614 00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:08,480 I only do it cos you make me. 615 00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:11,440 You're my wife and I want to fuck you. 616 00:41:13,240 --> 00:41:16,680 Then let's end this open relationship thing. 617 00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:18,960 Let's just be... 618 00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:20,960 you for me, and me for you. 619 00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:27,520 -Are you sure? -Of course I am. 620 00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:28,960 Oh, thanks, babe. 621 00:41:33,720 --> 00:41:37,160 [Billy moans] 622 00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:39,760 Ugh. 623 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:57,680 Everyone deserves a second chance, so you can have your job back. 624 00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,720 Clerical duties only once you're back on your feet, 625 00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:02,920 so to speak. 626 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:06,200 Well, I'm very grateful. 627 00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:09,960 It may be a while. 628 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,160 We'll give you some peace. 629 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,600 I have no evidence whatsoever for what I'm about to say, 630 00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:48,760 so you're off the hook, either way. 631 00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:57,600 Bag of flour, turd in an envelope, tragic fall from your chair, 632 00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:00,760 from which you made a miraculous recovery. 633 00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:04,080 -What are you-- -No protests, no denials. 634 00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:13,680 If I licked my finger and wiped it across your eye, 635 00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:15,160 how would your bruises be then? 636 00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:30,680 You... are a devious, 637 00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:33,680 conniving old fraud. 638 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:38,560 I have no idea what you are talking about. 639 00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:40,200 [Kelly] Course you don't. 640 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,360 From one tough bird to another... 641 00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:53,000 if it stops here, your secret's safe. 642 00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:56,320 Understood? 643 00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:21,160 [Jackson] Competition is a good thing. It provides motivation and incentive. 644 00:44:21,240 --> 00:44:24,960 Sir Chris Hoy and his giant thighs didn't get onto the Olympic podium 645 00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:27,720 because it's the taking part that counts. 646 00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,240 But everyone has to start with the same chance. 647 00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:32,640 That's how a society moves forward. 648 00:44:32,720 --> 00:44:36,000 Black, brown, white, straight, gay, confused. 649 00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:38,960 Except the Jocks of course. 650 00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:41,840 If there's one thing I hate more than the Irish, 651 00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:44,160 it's the fucking Jocks. 652 00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:47,280 Thursday, your honour? 653 00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:49,480 Corridors of power, Kelly. Turns me on. 654 00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:51,120 He's only a magistrate. 655 00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:52,800 A ton now, another monkey when the jobs done. 656 00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:54,320 You're getting left behind. 657 00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:58,000 -My first time was with someone older. -There's a lot to be said for experience. 658 00:44:58,080 --> 00:44:59,880 [Gloria] I always thought she'd get it on with Aidan. 659 00:44:59,960 --> 00:45:02,200 What if he's experienced, but younger? 660 00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:05,240 -It'd be like going with your brother. -[Letitia] He's 16 in a month. 661 00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:08,360 Alice? Stop messing about, come on! 662 00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:10,800 Alice. Alice! Come on, Alice! 663 00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:12,360 Oh! 664 00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:13,600 Banged to rights. 665 00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:15,320 [theme music] 666 00:45:57,240 --> 00:45:59,680 [Lillian] That's it, plugged in. Fill your boots! 667 00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:10,720 -[machine working] -[Mimi] Dirty, filthy... 668 00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:16,120 Geiger counter probe up your arse, nasty boy. 669 00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:21,400 Ah! There she blows! 670 00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:24,320 Ah! Oh! 671 00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:26,280 Ah. Fuck! 51888

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