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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:47,759 --> 00:00:52,996 (Snoring) 4 00:01:21,772 --> 00:01:23,495 (Sighs) 5 00:01:23,596 --> 00:01:29,378 (Police sirens sound in the distance) 6 00:01:49,513 --> 00:01:54,302 (Car alarm goes off in the distance) 7 00:01:56,968 --> 00:02:00,644 (Dog barking) 8 00:02:02,759 --> 00:02:08,355 (Lucas' light breathing) 9 00:02:32,356 --> 00:02:34,941 (Honking) 10 00:04:02,426 --> 00:04:05,142 (Alarm clock rings) 11 00:04:14,648 --> 00:04:15,542 ("Skip to my Lou" plays) 12 00:05:06,418 --> 00:05:07,247 (Cat meows) 13 00:05:07,346 --> 00:05:08,688 Huh! Hello, Lady. 14 00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:11,273 Edith? You okay in there? 15 00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:13,767 EDITH: Yes, dear, I'm fine. 16 00:05:13,873 --> 00:05:15,433 Do you need anything from the store? 17 00:05:15,538 --> 00:05:16,203 Hurry up, guys. 18 00:05:16,305 --> 00:05:17,963 ELIZA: Clara! You're going to be late for school! 19 00:05:18,065 --> 00:05:18,861 (Lucas giggles) 20 00:05:18,961 --> 00:05:20,368 EDITH: Orange juice, perhaps. 21 00:05:20,465 --> 00:05:21,741 Does Lady need food? 22 00:05:21,841 --> 00:05:23,215 EDITH: I don't know. 23 00:05:23,313 --> 00:05:24,905 Okay, well, I'm closing the door now, Edith. 24 00:05:25,008 --> 00:05:26,088 It's not safe to leave it open. 25 00:05:26,192 --> 00:05:28,102 (To herself) 'Cause I live in a firetrap. 26 00:05:28,208 --> 00:05:28,775 Come on. 27 00:05:28,879 --> 00:05:31,748 It's not a firetrap. That's a treasure trove. 28 00:05:31,856 --> 00:05:34,922 ELIZA: If stacks of stuff dated from the '50s count as a treasure trove. 29 00:05:35,023 --> 00:05:36,485 AVERY: Oh, they do. 30 00:05:36,591 --> 00:05:38,980 ELIZA: Avery, you're going to have to move the car today, remember? 31 00:05:39,086 --> 00:05:39,620 AVERY: Right. 32 00:05:39,727 --> 00:05:41,188 ELIZA: You sit in it with Lucas and hold our spot... 33 00:05:41,295 --> 00:05:42,505 ...and I'll walk Clara over. - AVERY: Right. 34 00:05:49,869 --> 00:05:51,244 Okay! 35 00:05:51,341 --> 00:05:54,636 Oh... Come on, sweetie. 36 00:05:55,885 --> 00:05:57,859 Careful, guys. 37 00:05:58,092 --> 00:05:59,685 CLARA: Careful, guys. 38 00:05:59,789 --> 00:06:02,309 (Traffic noise) 39 00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:07,046 ELIZA: Didn't I just clean this out last week? 40 00:06:08,651 --> 00:06:11,520 Hey, check it out. Look at those books! 41 00:06:11,627 --> 00:06:13,601 Think we can get them before mom notices? 42 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:14,754 No, Avery, please. 43 00:06:14,858 --> 00:06:17,640 Put your family's best interest first. Think of the common good. 44 00:06:17,738 --> 00:06:19,396 That's exactly what I'm doing. 45 00:06:19,499 --> 00:06:21,920 LUCAS: That's exactly what I'm doing. 46 00:06:23,274 --> 00:06:25,346 AVERY: Okay, in the car we go. 47 00:06:25,450 --> 00:06:26,246 Can I have some? 48 00:06:29,417 --> 00:06:30,082 (Children giggle) 49 00:06:30,185 --> 00:06:32,967 (Sandrine says something in French) 50 00:06:34,408 --> 00:06:36,863 (Sandrine greets them in French) 51 00:06:36,968 --> 00:06:39,073 I wish I was French, too. 52 00:06:40,136 --> 00:06:42,852 It's my birthday tomorrow. I'm going to be six! 53 00:06:42,951 --> 00:06:45,155 And I'm having my party up there tonight! 54 00:06:45,255 --> 00:06:47,776 Really? In your apartment. 55 00:06:47,879 --> 00:06:51,773 ISABELLA: For my sixth birthday, we had a private marionette show. 56 00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:54,017 I'm going to have 10 friends! 57 00:06:54,118 --> 00:06:55,525 My seventh was at the Swedish Cottage. 58 00:06:55,622 --> 00:06:58,272 First, my mom said I could only have six friends 59 00:06:58,374 --> 00:06:59,715 because I'm going to be six. 60 00:06:59,814 --> 00:07:03,588 Then, Serendipity 3 delivered frozen hot chocolate. 61 00:07:03,685 --> 00:07:06,467 But then, my dad talked her into letting me have 10. 62 00:07:06,565 --> 00:07:08,932 Afterwards, my friends and I got carriage rides 63 00:07:09,028 --> 00:07:10,850 in Central Park at sunset. 64 00:07:10,948 --> 00:07:14,144 I'm going to have a triple layer cake, with purple frosting. 65 00:07:14,244 --> 00:07:17,440 And I'm going to have really cool goodie bags, 66 00:07:17,540 --> 00:07:19,907 right, Mom? 67 00:07:20,003 --> 00:07:21,345 AVERY: Not the goodie bags again. 68 00:07:21,443 --> 00:07:23,450 SANDRINE: Eliza, you are brave. 69 00:07:23,555 --> 00:07:25,595 Really? How so? 70 00:07:25,698 --> 00:07:27,225 Just to live as you do, you know? 71 00:07:27,331 --> 00:07:30,811 The stairs, the children, the car, the dog. 72 00:07:30,914 --> 00:07:33,053 It's a bit exhausting, no? 73 00:07:33,154 --> 00:07:35,521 Is that your definition of "brave"? 74 00:07:35,618 --> 00:07:39,130 Eliza, could you give me a hand with this buckle? 75 00:07:39,233 --> 00:07:41,273 Um, Mom, you forgot my backpack, 76 00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:44,126 and I definitely need it before choice time. 77 00:07:44,224 --> 00:07:45,053 Okay. 78 00:07:45,152 --> 00:07:46,167 SANDRINE: Eliza, are you...? 79 00:07:46,272 --> 00:07:48,509 Are you wearing your nightgown? 80 00:07:49,856 --> 00:07:52,670 (Music plays) 81 00:08:09,310 --> 00:08:10,651 ELIZA: Has it really come to this? 82 00:08:10,749 --> 00:08:12,342 That I, Eliza K. Welch, 83 00:08:12,446 --> 00:08:14,682 find myself humiliated in my nightgown 84 00:08:14,781 --> 00:08:16,723 in front of my neighbour’s townhouse? 85 00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:19,731 My husband has run Clara around the corner to P.S. 3, 86 00:08:19,837 --> 00:08:22,204 and I have exactly nine minutes to write. 87 00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:24,024 How can a mother articulate her ideas 88 00:08:24,124 --> 00:08:26,579 with anything approaching wit or conviction 89 00:08:26,684 --> 00:08:29,269 in such ridiculously tiny wedges of time? 90 00:08:40,538 --> 00:08:41,586 (New message alert) 91 00:08:42,362 --> 00:08:45,591 ELIZA: Oh, it's Zachs Mommy again. 92 00:08:45,690 --> 00:08:47,577 "Quit complaining, Sancta Mommy! 93 00:08:47,674 --> 00:08:49,845 No one has any time. 94 00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:53,687 Save your quest for self-expression until the kids go off to college. " 95 00:08:53,785 --> 00:08:55,476 (Scoffs) 96 00:08:55,864 --> 00:08:57,936 Must a woman's soul wither and die 97 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,276 simply because she opted to become a mother? 98 00:09:00,376 --> 00:09:03,093 I want to finish the laundry and a complex sentence, 99 00:09:03,191 --> 00:09:04,784 to think tantalizingly deep thoughts 100 00:09:04,888 --> 00:09:07,571 and throw a magical birthday party for my daughter. 101 00:09:07,671 --> 00:09:11,632 Is that truly too much to ask? 102 00:09:22,549 --> 00:09:24,916 ELIZA: Tomorrow, Clara turns six. 103 00:09:25,013 --> 00:09:27,565 She's more than half way to double digits. 104 00:09:27,669 --> 00:09:31,084 She'll be going to college in 12 years. 105 00:09:31,188 --> 00:09:34,897 That used to seem like a long time. 106 00:09:34,996 --> 00:09:38,095 Now I can blink, and it'd be over. 107 00:09:51,219 --> 00:09:53,935 ELIZA: "Speak your mind and become our resident Mom-zoologist 108 00:09:54,034 --> 00:09:55,725 with your very own column, 109 00:09:55,826 --> 00:09:58,030 worth up to 3,000 dollars a month! 110 00:09:58,130 --> 00:09:59,788 Runners-up receive either 1,000 dollars 111 00:09:59,889 --> 00:10:02,791 or an all-expense paid trip to this year's Mamapalooza, 112 00:10:02,897 --> 00:10:05,515 the festival for moms who rock. " 113 00:10:05,617 --> 00:10:07,046 You've got to be kidding me. 114 00:10:07,152 --> 00:10:11,210 "Just send us 500 words telling us what motherhood means to you. " 115 00:10:12,208 --> 00:10:14,793 Oh, my God! 116 00:10:14,896 --> 00:10:15,561 It's perfect! 117 00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:19,654 Oh, no. 118 00:10:19,759 --> 00:10:21,581 (Groans) 119 00:10:28,142 --> 00:10:29,124 TOUR GUIDE: Folks, coming up, 120 00:10:29,230 --> 00:10:34,532 we're going to see the historic former home of Edna St. Vincent Millay. 121 00:10:34,637 --> 00:10:36,099 But first, get those cameras ready... 122 00:10:36,205 --> 00:10:36,739 ELIZA: Excuse me. 123 00:10:36,846 --> 00:10:39,114 This is a neighbourhood, people, not a theme park. 124 00:10:39,213 --> 00:10:39,879 "Get her picture! Get her...! 125 00:10:39,981 --> 00:10:42,828 "Here's the corner we all know and love from Friends." 126 00:10:42,924 --> 00:10:44,899 Though, whenever you see an inside shot, 127 00:10:45,004 --> 00:10:48,320 that was actually filmed on a soundstage in Los Angeles. 128 00:10:48,428 --> 00:10:50,816 WOMAN: Hurry, kids! Hurry! Come on! 129 00:10:54,315 --> 00:10:56,649 ELIZA: Hey! Sheila! Sheila! 130 00:10:56,747 --> 00:10:59,398 Hi! What's shaken', babe? 131 00:10:59,498 --> 00:11:01,222 Do I have Joan Crawford eyebrows? 132 00:11:01,322 --> 00:11:04,072 I applied pencil like it was magic marker, and I didn't check. 133 00:11:04,170 --> 00:11:05,544 Tell me the truth. 134 00:11:05,642 --> 00:11:07,584 No, they look good. There, 'ya know, zesty. 135 00:11:07,690 --> 00:11:09,282 Zesty? 136 00:11:09,386 --> 00:11:11,622 I have to have this in Clara's classroom by choice time, 137 00:11:11,721 --> 00:11:12,833 or it's sudden death for Bad Mommy. 138 00:11:12,937 --> 00:11:14,530 - Will you walk with me? - Sure. 139 00:11:16,649 --> 00:11:17,445 SHEILA: Hey, do you want me 140 00:11:17,545 --> 00:11:19,071 to pick up Clara and bring her with us? 141 00:11:19,177 --> 00:11:20,486 'Cause I know Trixie would love it. 142 00:11:20,584 --> 00:11:22,526 But I thought Joel had the kids on Fridays. 143 00:11:22,632 --> 00:11:23,941 Oh, he's in Santa Fe. 144 00:11:24,039 --> 00:11:26,144 Oh... Chasing another new wild potter? 145 00:11:26,248 --> 00:11:28,997 I don't know. Maybe. Who cares? 146 00:11:29,095 --> 00:11:30,786 ELIZA: I've really got to go for this, right? 147 00:11:30,887 --> 00:11:35,142 I mean, there's something validating about having a real job, you know? 148 00:11:35,239 --> 00:11:36,351 It's been awhile. 149 00:11:36,455 --> 00:11:40,000 Yeah, there's definitely something validating about having a real job. 150 00:11:40,103 --> 00:11:42,404 I mean, especially one that actually pays you more 151 00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:44,356 than the childcare required to do it. 152 00:11:44,453 --> 00:11:46,395 And it has been awhile. 153 00:11:46,501 --> 00:11:47,549 You sure you're ready to move 154 00:11:47,653 --> 00:11:49,147 beyond entourages of organic snacks? 155 00:11:49,253 --> 00:11:49,918 (Eliza laughs) 156 00:11:50,021 --> 00:11:51,166 Completely! 157 00:11:51,268 --> 00:11:53,156 I mean, it gives me a chance to explore what it really means 158 00:11:53,252 --> 00:11:56,732 to become a mother, and nobody talks about this stuff. 159 00:11:56,836 --> 00:11:58,658 The sleep deprivation, 160 00:11:58,756 --> 00:12:03,010 the funks, the non-stop cleaning, the death of lust. 161 00:12:03,107 --> 00:12:06,369 I can see Lunchbox x magazine flying off the stands. 162 00:12:06,467 --> 00:12:08,409 Here's my first headline: 163 00:12:08,515 --> 00:12:12,409 "To thane own self be true: Don't Breed." 164 00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:13,496 Too late. 165 00:12:13,602 --> 00:12:18,042 (Bongos playing) 166 00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:33,369 (Whispers) Hi, Trixie! 167 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,265 Shit! 168 00:12:38,367 --> 00:12:41,367 - What? - Avery forgot to walk Coupon! 169 00:12:41,471 --> 00:12:42,267 Shit is right. 170 00:12:42,367 --> 00:12:46,971 You better get home, or you're going to find a deposit on your rug. 171 00:12:47,071 --> 00:12:49,492 (Drilling sounds) 172 00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,845 ELIZA: Avery? 173 00:12:58,013 --> 00:12:59,955 Avery. 174 00:13:00,349 --> 00:13:02,553 Avery. 175 00:13:02,845 --> 00:13:05,332 This stuff is incredible, really. 176 00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:08,534 Uh, Avery, um, did you forget something this morning? 177 00:13:08,636 --> 00:13:09,465 AVERY: What? 178 00:13:09,564 --> 00:13:11,768 I don't know, it was essentially our firstborn, you know? 179 00:13:11,868 --> 00:13:13,493 The one with the incontinence issues? 180 00:13:13,596 --> 00:13:14,773 Oops, sorry. 181 00:13:14,876 --> 00:13:17,014 Single most abused word in the English language. 182 00:13:17,115 --> 00:13:18,129 AVERY: "Oops" or "sorry"? 183 00:13:18,235 --> 00:13:20,918 All right, so I'll stay with Lucas, and you go get Coupon. 184 00:13:21,019 --> 00:13:22,480 Oh, no, no, no. You can't do that. 185 00:13:22,587 --> 00:13:24,561 I got an editorial meeting at 9:30. 186 00:13:24,667 --> 00:13:25,746 If I don't leave now, I'm never going to make it. 187 00:13:25,850 --> 00:13:27,191 No, no, no, no! You never told me that! 188 00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:29,908 Yes, I did. I told you this morning while you were combing Clara's hair. 189 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:31,220 Don't worry, I'll be back by 1:00. 190 00:13:31,322 --> 00:13:32,532 No, but 1:00 is too late! 191 00:13:32,633 --> 00:13:34,259 I don't think Coupon can hold it till then, 192 00:13:34,361 --> 00:13:35,605 and he can't walk himself 193 00:13:35,705 --> 00:13:37,231 because he can't make it down the stairs anymore. 194 00:13:37,337 --> 00:13:37,806 AVERY: Holy Molly! 195 00:13:37,913 --> 00:13:39,287 ELIZA: Did you go to the cash machine at least? 196 00:13:39,384 --> 00:13:42,766 Eliza, I wish you would stop talking to me like I'm impaired. 197 00:13:42,872 --> 00:13:44,562 Yes, I did. 198 00:13:44,664 --> 00:13:46,071 I... No... I'm sorry, okay? 199 00:13:46,168 --> 00:13:48,339 There's just something I want to do today. It's incredible. 200 00:13:48,439 --> 00:13:51,341 It's this writing thing, which could be just perfect for me and... 201 00:13:51,448 --> 00:13:56,684 I guess I'll just figure out how to get it all done by myself. 202 00:13:56,791 --> 00:13:59,092 - ELIZA: Bye! - AVERY: Bye! 203 00:13:59,190 --> 00:14:01,677 (Music plays) 204 00:14:18,420 --> 00:14:20,722 (Grunts) 205 00:14:20,820 --> 00:14:23,372 Oh, come on. 206 00:14:23,476 --> 00:14:24,686 I got ya! 207 00:14:24,788 --> 00:14:27,471 (Deep breaths) 208 00:14:27,572 --> 00:14:28,782 Orange juice. 209 00:14:28,883 --> 00:14:31,436 Edith? I forgot your orange juice. 210 00:14:31,539 --> 00:14:33,775 I'm sorry, I'll bring you some more later? 211 00:14:33,875 --> 00:14:39,144 EDITH: Orange juice? I don't need any orange juice, dear. 212 00:14:39,249 --> 00:14:42,478 I'm closing the door now, Edith. It's not safe to leave it open. 213 00:14:46,481 --> 00:14:47,342 Okay. 214 00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:52,074 (Car alarm sounds) 215 00:14:58,736 --> 00:15:00,296 Hurry up, Coupon, let's go. 216 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,531 HESTER: Street sweeper! Street sweeper! 217 00:15:03,631 --> 00:15:07,176 Oh! Oh, God. Coupon! Get busy. 218 00:15:07,279 --> 00:15:07,977 LUCAS: Get busy. 219 00:15:08,079 --> 00:15:10,118 HESTER: Get a Prius, New Jersey! 220 00:15:10,222 --> 00:15:12,131 Go home, scumbag! 221 00:15:14,894 --> 00:15:17,447 Good job, Coupon! Good boy! 222 00:15:22,989 --> 00:15:24,102 So, you just going to leave it there? 223 00:15:24,205 --> 00:15:26,954 No, I just, I got to get my kid in the car, 224 00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:30,401 so I can move the car, so the street sweeper can clean the street. 225 00:15:32,460 --> 00:15:33,703 I'll pick it up later. 226 00:15:33,804 --> 00:15:36,040 What if someone steps in it before then? 227 00:15:36,139 --> 00:15:38,441 I'll call 311 and make a complaint. 228 00:15:38,539 --> 00:15:41,855 Well, I haven't found that very effective, but be my guest. 229 00:15:41,963 --> 00:15:43,206 Here, honey. 230 00:15:48,170 --> 00:15:49,958 And you're not even going to strap him in? 231 00:15:49,994 --> 00:15:50,976 Give me a break. 232 00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:53,151 ELIZA: Okay... 233 00:15:56,746 --> 00:15:57,476 Oh, no! 234 00:15:57,577 --> 00:15:58,471 (Engine starts) 235 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:11,330 (Honking) 236 00:16:11,432 --> 00:16:13,853 IRATE DRIVER: Come on, lady, move it! 237 00:16:14,503 --> 00:16:16,510 Now where the hell is this guy? 238 00:16:17,479 --> 00:16:18,820 WOMAN: What's going on? 239 00:16:18,919 --> 00:16:21,439 HESTER: Every Tuesday and Friday you got to move your car 240 00:16:21,543 --> 00:16:23,004 so they can clean the street. 241 00:16:23,111 --> 00:16:26,339 Oh, except this one here. They're from Jersey. 242 00:16:26,438 --> 00:16:28,096 They leave it, and then pay the ticket. 243 00:16:28,198 --> 00:16:29,659 It's cheaper than a garage. 244 00:16:29,766 --> 00:16:32,253 And then the street sweeper can't get around! 245 00:16:32,997 --> 00:16:34,557 IRATE DRIVER: Hey, move it, Volvo lady! 246 00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:35,937 Move that freaking' car! 247 00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:38,819 I can't, I'll lose my spot! 248 00:16:38,917 --> 00:16:40,804 Why doesn't everybody just back up? 249 00:16:40,901 --> 00:16:42,591 IRATE DRIVER: Come on! Move your car! 250 00:16:42,692 --> 00:16:43,968 Come around! 251 00:16:44,068 --> 00:16:46,108 IRATE DRIVER: We can't move, 'ya cunt! 252 00:16:50,083 --> 00:16:51,065 Motherfucker! 253 00:16:51,171 --> 00:16:52,218 WOMAN: What is that woman doing? 254 00:16:52,323 --> 00:16:53,631 She's nuts. 255 00:16:53,731 --> 00:16:55,935 Look, that's her dog shit. She just left it there. 256 00:16:56,035 --> 00:16:57,311 - Oh! - HESTER: Give him hell! 257 00:16:57,411 --> 00:16:58,872 Did you just say what I think you said? 258 00:16:58,979 --> 00:16:59,872 Yeah, that's right, you heard me. 259 00:16:59,970 --> 00:17:03,101 You just used the C-word in front of a child, in front of a school! 260 00:17:03,202 --> 00:17:04,925 Your mother must be very proud of you. 261 00:17:05,026 --> 00:17:05,691 Hey, you leave my mother out of this! 262 00:17:05,794 --> 00:17:06,328 No, no, no. 263 00:17:06,433 --> 00:17:08,888 She must be very, very proud that her son grew up to be... 264 00:17:08,993 --> 00:17:10,302 What do you do? Oh, roofing! 265 00:17:10,401 --> 00:17:11,962 That her son's a roofer. 266 00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:13,047 - Shut up, lady. - Impressive. 267 00:17:13,152 --> 00:17:15,324 Do they give you a degree in that? Advanced shingling? 268 00:17:15,424 --> 00:17:17,791 Hey, I said, shut up! 269 00:17:17,888 --> 00:17:20,124 (Honking intensifies and people scream) 270 00:17:20,224 --> 00:17:24,118 All right, I'm sorry that I insulted your profession. 271 00:17:24,223 --> 00:17:25,914 Well, somebody's got to fix roofs. 272 00:17:26,016 --> 00:17:27,990 (Chuckles) Right. Agreed. 273 00:17:28,095 --> 00:17:29,621 I mean, I'm one to talk. 274 00:17:29,727 --> 00:17:32,792 I'm just trying to raise two kids in this godforsaken city 275 00:17:32,894 --> 00:17:34,716 that's a shadow of its former self. 276 00:17:34,814 --> 00:17:36,821 Do you ever think about maybe moving out to the suburbs? 277 00:17:36,926 --> 00:17:38,868 Like we could afford the taxes! 278 00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:40,948 Yeah, I hear you on that. I hear you on that. 279 00:17:41,054 --> 00:17:43,835 He's escaping! Somebody call the police! 280 00:17:43,933 --> 00:17:45,078 Hey, you better get up there! 281 00:17:45,181 --> 00:17:46,358 Oh! Oh! 282 00:17:46,461 --> 00:17:47,443 No! 283 00:17:47,548 --> 00:17:48,083 (Lucas giggles) 284 00:17:48,189 --> 00:17:50,044 MAN: Move the car! This isn't a parking lot! 285 00:17:50,140 --> 00:17:51,122 ELIZA: What are you doing? 286 00:17:51,228 --> 00:17:55,450 Oh! Sweetie! Sweetie! Oh, no, no, no! I'm so sorry. Back you go. 287 00:17:55,548 --> 00:17:56,758 Report her to social services! 288 00:17:56,860 --> 00:17:58,550 Hey, cut the lady some slack. 289 00:17:58,652 --> 00:18:01,019 Can't you see she's having a hard day? 290 00:18:01,115 --> 00:18:01,682 Thank you. 291 00:18:01,787 --> 00:18:04,786 (Honking continues) 292 00:18:04,891 --> 00:18:09,233 (Engine starts) 293 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:14,646 Oh, watch out! Oh! Oh! 294 00:18:14,746 --> 00:18:15,345 Look. 295 00:18:16,697 --> 00:18:20,079 (Music plays) 296 00:18:20,953 --> 00:18:24,847 Lucas, sweetie, I am so sorry I left you all alone like that. 297 00:18:24,953 --> 00:18:27,319 And mommy's sorry she was smoking, too. 298 00:18:27,416 --> 00:18:29,325 And yelling. 299 00:18:29,432 --> 00:18:32,148 Smoking and yelling are two things that Lunchbox x Magazine 300 00:18:32,248 --> 00:18:33,295 would tell you to avoid. 301 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:34,709 (Tires screech) 302 00:18:37,719 --> 00:18:38,896 ELIZA: I'm sorry. 303 00:18:38,999 --> 00:18:43,122 Mommy's just going to, just race around the block as fast as she can. 304 00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:44,499 As quick as a wink! 305 00:18:44,598 --> 00:18:45,296 A wink! 306 00:18:46,966 --> 00:18:49,519 Oh! I'm going to lose my spot! 307 00:18:49,622 --> 00:18:50,516 Oh, no. 308 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:52,267 Don't! 309 00:18:52,373 --> 00:18:57,555 ELIZA: Oh, no-no-no-no-no! Hey! No, no, no! 310 00:19:05,588 --> 00:19:07,443 All right, one sec. 311 00:19:07,540 --> 00:19:08,969 Don't, don't, don't. 312 00:19:13,843 --> 00:19:16,210 Excuse me! 313 00:19:16,306 --> 00:19:19,983 Look, I'm sorry to bother you! 314 00:19:20,146 --> 00:19:24,685 I know you're not napping because I saw you just pull into my spot. 315 00:19:24,786 --> 00:19:26,346 It's not your spot. 316 00:19:26,450 --> 00:19:27,377 But I live here. 317 00:19:27,473 --> 00:19:29,513 You live in the West Village, so you can afford to park someplace else. 318 00:19:29,617 --> 00:19:31,854 No, you can say that, but you'd be wrong, okay? 319 00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:35,335 My apartment is right there, rather I should say, our apartments. 320 00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:37,513 You've got more than one apartment? 321 00:19:37,617 --> 00:19:40,005 They're rent stabilized, and one is a studio. 322 00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:42,632 Look, I'm throwing a birthday party for my daughter tonight, 323 00:19:42,736 --> 00:19:45,550 and I need to park here so I can stash stuff in the car. 324 00:19:45,648 --> 00:19:47,338 That is, if I can fit anything, 325 00:19:47,439 --> 00:19:50,700 considering my husband has filled the back of the car with old books. 326 00:19:50,799 --> 00:19:52,261 You see, he has this fantasy 327 00:19:52,367 --> 00:19:55,978 of starting an online rare book business to enrich our lifestyle. 328 00:19:56,078 --> 00:19:57,507 How about that? 329 00:19:57,614 --> 00:20:00,232 Anyway, we live in a walk-up. 330 00:20:01,998 --> 00:20:03,372 Oh! 331 00:20:11,149 --> 00:20:11,912 Come on! 332 00:20:20,619 --> 00:20:23,815 (Bells toll) 333 00:20:27,946 --> 00:20:30,728 "My, what a wonderful house this would be. 334 00:20:30,826 --> 00:20:34,949 I will live in it until the people who own it come for it. 335 00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:37,122 And then, the little old man..." 336 00:20:37,226 --> 00:20:40,292 Oh, that's us. Okay. Come on, sweetie. 337 00:20:40,393 --> 00:20:45,346 Ah... Okay, here we go. 338 00:20:45,641 --> 00:20:47,201 Ooh! 339 00:20:47,304 --> 00:20:50,337 Come, sweetie, here we go. 340 00:20:52,616 --> 00:20:55,103 (Deep breaths) Yeah... 341 00:20:55,208 --> 00:20:57,509 (Sighs) 342 00:21:23,237 --> 00:21:25,178 Good sharing, Courtney! 343 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:29,277 I am very proud of you for your excellent sharing. 344 00:21:30,564 --> 00:21:32,603 No, no, drop it. 345 00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:34,017 That's made in China. 346 00:21:35,299 --> 00:21:37,470 ELIZA: Hey! Watch it. 347 00:21:37,571 --> 00:21:39,425 He's a whole lot smaller than you. 348 00:21:39,523 --> 00:21:41,378 Excuse me, did you just say something? 349 00:21:41,474 --> 00:21:42,652 Did she say something to you, Jordan? 350 00:21:42,755 --> 00:21:46,202 ELIZA: Look, I'm sorry, but your son nearly crushed my kid. 351 00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:47,582 He's a whole lot bigger. 352 00:21:47,682 --> 00:21:49,023 Are you saying my son's overweight? 353 00:21:49,122 --> 00:21:52,286 I said big. Actually, what I said was "bigger." 354 00:21:52,385 --> 00:21:54,774 Don't you dare ever speak to him again. 355 00:21:54,881 --> 00:21:56,158 It's glandular! 356 00:21:58,688 --> 00:22:03,292 No, Trish. Trish, you cook pot roast at 375. 357 00:22:03,392 --> 00:22:04,253 Yeah. 358 00:22:04,352 --> 00:22:09,207 And don't forget to mail the Con-Ed bill, please. 359 00:22:09,311 --> 00:22:11,962 My wife. 360 00:22:12,064 --> 00:22:15,773 Yeah, okay, bye. 361 00:22:15,870 --> 00:22:17,397 Jodie Foster alert. 362 00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:18,485 Excuse me? 363 00:22:18,590 --> 00:22:22,070 I swear to God, it's Jodie! She's coming in right now. 364 00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:25,490 Paparazzi: Jodie, Jodie! Over here, Jodie! Who's the father? 365 00:22:25,598 --> 00:22:28,118 Last week, I had a Sarah Jessica Parker sighting. 366 00:22:28,222 --> 00:22:32,280 I've seen Julianne Moore, Kate Wins let, and James Gandolfini. 367 00:22:32,380 --> 00:22:34,322 I swear, it's like a movie star playground. 368 00:22:34,429 --> 00:22:37,079 I come in all the way from Scarsdale because, you know, you never know, 369 00:22:37,180 --> 00:22:40,627 I could sell it to Us, right? 370 00:22:40,732 --> 00:22:42,106 Paparazzi: Who's your baby-daddy, Jodie? 371 00:22:42,204 --> 00:22:45,499 JODIE: You should work in a soup kitchen, you fucking parasites. 372 00:22:45,595 --> 00:22:48,279 Here you go, honey. Got your jacket? 373 00:22:48,379 --> 00:22:50,201 ELIZA: Should a mother really have to choose 374 00:22:50,299 --> 00:22:52,787 between simply getting her kid some fresh air 375 00:22:52,890 --> 00:22:54,865 and being stalked by the mamarazzi? 376 00:22:56,186 --> 00:22:58,357 LILY: Hey, Eliza. 377 00:22:58,458 --> 00:23:00,563 Hey, Lily! Hey, Bodhi! 378 00:23:00,666 --> 00:23:01,560 - Say hi. - Hi. 379 00:23:01,658 --> 00:23:03,064 What's with the HAZMAT suit? 380 00:23:03,161 --> 00:23:05,747 Oh, this? It's a UV-protection robe. 381 00:23:05,849 --> 00:23:08,947 I got it for Bodhi off this website. They make them in Australia. 382 00:23:09,049 --> 00:23:10,391 Because of the warming. 383 00:23:10,488 --> 00:23:11,830 Ah... 384 00:23:11,929 --> 00:23:15,987 I hate to say this, but he kind of looks like a little baby Klansman. 385 00:23:16,088 --> 00:23:20,626 Oh, well, it cuts out 99 percent of harmful rays. 386 00:23:20,727 --> 00:23:23,629 I can send you the link if you want. I got Indy a poncho off it. 387 00:23:23,735 --> 00:23:25,874 Maybe Clara would want one. 388 00:23:25,975 --> 00:23:27,633 It's okay. 389 00:23:27,735 --> 00:23:30,702 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you. 390 00:23:30,806 --> 00:23:34,603 No, no, no. I'm just... entering this contest. 391 00:23:34,710 --> 00:23:38,190 Really? What's the contest? 392 00:23:38,294 --> 00:23:41,970 Just write 500 words about what motherhood means to me. 393 00:23:42,069 --> 00:23:43,116 What are you going to say? 394 00:23:43,221 --> 00:23:49,363 Um... Stuff, I guess. I don't know. 395 00:23:49,460 --> 00:23:52,013 How motherhood is all about rainbows and unicorns 396 00:23:52,116 --> 00:23:55,083 and sunny days and... 397 00:23:55,187 --> 00:23:56,681 I've got something up my sleeve. 398 00:23:56,788 --> 00:23:58,097 Okay. 399 00:23:58,195 --> 00:23:59,504 Hey, do you want to borrow some? 400 00:23:59,603 --> 00:24:01,872 It's cruelty and chemical free. They make it in Oregon. 401 00:24:01,971 --> 00:24:03,858 No, thanks. 402 00:24:12,594 --> 00:24:15,757 (Bodhi cries) 403 00:24:19,249 --> 00:24:21,136 (Lily sobs) 404 00:24:33,839 --> 00:24:38,956 Lily? Lily, what are you doing? 405 00:24:39,055 --> 00:24:41,389 Oh, haven't you read The Crying and the Raging? 406 00:24:43,790 --> 00:24:46,211 It's the most amazing book. 407 00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:49,067 This paediatrician in Norway came up with the theory 408 00:24:49,166 --> 00:24:52,165 that if you really connect with your child in his moment of pain, 409 00:24:52,269 --> 00:24:54,178 it calms them down. 410 00:24:54,285 --> 00:24:56,227 It's really made a difference for me and Bodhi. 411 00:24:56,333 --> 00:24:57,991 Lily, will you excuse me for a second? 412 00:24:58,092 --> 00:25:00,296 Oh, sure. 413 00:25:00,397 --> 00:25:02,436 Are you feeling better? 414 00:25:02,540 --> 00:25:05,671 Do you have the hiccups? 415 00:25:05,771 --> 00:25:08,454 Let's look around and see what we see. 416 00:25:08,555 --> 00:25:13,857 I think I see a little chipmunk. Oh, that's not a chipmunk. 417 00:25:16,522 --> 00:25:17,667 SHEILA: I don't have the faintest notion 418 00:25:17,771 --> 00:25:19,396 what motherhood means to me, you know what I mean? 419 00:25:19,498 --> 00:25:22,464 Since when does a stroller have to cost as much as a car? 420 00:25:22,570 --> 00:25:24,544 Okay, a used car. 421 00:25:24,650 --> 00:25:26,504 SHEILA: Since the world has started breeding more. 422 00:25:26,601 --> 00:25:28,292 - Oh! - SHEILA: What? 423 00:25:28,393 --> 00:25:30,759 - ELIZA: I can't believe... - SHEILA: What? 424 00:25:30,857 --> 00:25:32,799 ELIZA: They towed my goddamn car! 425 00:25:32,904 --> 00:25:34,181 - SHEILA: Oh, shit. - Oh! 426 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:35,906 AVERY (VOICEMAIL): Please leave your message at the beep. 427 00:25:36,008 --> 00:25:37,535 ELIZA: Avery, where are you? 428 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,828 I'm freaking out, okay? They're shooting on our block again. 429 00:25:41,928 --> 00:25:44,710 They moved the cars. Call me as soon as you get this. 430 00:25:44,808 --> 00:25:45,506 I got to go. Bye. 431 00:25:45,607 --> 00:25:47,429 Where is my car? 432 00:25:47,527 --> 00:25:48,607 We have a resident here. 433 00:25:48,710 --> 00:25:49,441 MALE VOICE: She can pick up her car anytime. 434 00:25:49,543 --> 00:25:50,110 Copy that. 435 00:25:50,214 --> 00:25:51,261 Who moved it? 436 00:25:51,367 --> 00:25:54,366 Well, there's signs on all the posts. Check them. No parking today. 437 00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:57,404 There were no signs when I left it here an hour ago. 438 00:25:57,510 --> 00:25:59,004 - Right there! - Ma'am, look... 439 00:25:59,109 --> 00:25:59,938 Don't "ma'am" me! 440 00:26:00,037 --> 00:26:01,925 I may technically be old enough to be your mother, 441 00:26:02,021 --> 00:26:03,069 but I am not a "ma'am." 442 00:26:03,173 --> 00:26:04,122 The car's been moved 443 00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:05,538 to a secure location on Barrow Street, 444 00:26:05,637 --> 00:26:07,197 all the way west. 445 00:26:07,300 --> 00:26:10,170 Film crews are supposed to give 24-hour notice. 446 00:26:10,276 --> 00:26:11,705 I can give you the number to the mayor's office 447 00:26:11,812 --> 00:26:13,503 if you'd like to call and file a complaint. 448 00:26:13,604 --> 00:26:14,881 Very helpful. Great. 449 00:26:14,980 --> 00:26:19,038 You're telling me that you towed my car, and I have to bite it, right? 450 00:26:19,139 --> 00:26:20,863 Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to cross the street. 451 00:26:20,963 --> 00:26:22,141 We're setting up here. 452 00:26:22,243 --> 00:26:23,804 Hester, can you believe this? 453 00:26:23,907 --> 00:26:26,776 I'm going to piss in a pot and dump it on 'em later. 454 00:26:26,883 --> 00:26:28,639 Out the window, splat. 455 00:26:28,738 --> 00:26:30,494 Right on! 456 00:26:34,146 --> 00:26:36,349 Danny, go to two. 457 00:26:36,834 --> 00:26:40,990 ELIZA: Why is it that once you pass 35 and have a kid in tow, 458 00:26:41,025 --> 00:26:43,676 you automatically become a "ma'am"? 459 00:26:43,713 --> 00:26:47,509 "Ma'am" means support hose, a girdle, a bad perm. 460 00:26:47,616 --> 00:26:50,463 I'll wear hot pants and platforms when I'm on a walker 461 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:55,480 if only to avoid being called "ma'am." 462 00:27:02,399 --> 00:27:04,570 (Phone rings) 463 00:27:07,102 --> 00:27:10,680 Avery, Avery, Avery! Answer your phone for once, Avery! 464 00:27:10,782 --> 00:27:12,156 AVERY (VOICEMAIL): You've reached Avery. Please leave your message... 465 00:27:12,254 --> 00:27:13,497 (Sighs) 466 00:27:21,308 --> 00:27:25,366 ELIZA: I used to be fluid, I used to be, I don't know, graceful. 467 00:27:25,468 --> 00:27:29,177 Now my words come out, and they just sound like bad ad copy. 468 00:27:29,276 --> 00:27:32,821 Well, maybe your brain's worn out from over-sharing. 469 00:27:32,923 --> 00:27:36,271 Sheila, just blog-slam me when I'm down! 470 00:27:36,379 --> 00:27:38,037 (Sheila laughs) 471 00:27:38,138 --> 00:27:40,505 Avery lost his cell phone, by the way, 472 00:27:40,602 --> 00:27:42,128 the ultimate passive-aggressive act. 473 00:27:42,234 --> 00:27:44,655 Avery would lose his scrotum if it wasn't attached. 474 00:27:44,762 --> 00:27:46,550 Well, it's either that, or he silenced it, 475 00:27:46,650 --> 00:27:50,130 which is the most effective way of silencing me. 476 00:27:50,233 --> 00:27:55,535 Ah... No longer my problem, being silenced. 477 00:27:55,641 --> 00:27:57,550 I mean, God forbid I ever raised a topic 478 00:27:57,656 --> 00:28:01,453 from Joel's top 10 list of "musts to avoid." 479 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,113 Like, why you can't balance his check book. 480 00:28:04,215 --> 00:28:07,663 Or vacuum. Or remember the substitute teacher's name. 481 00:28:07,767 --> 00:28:10,385 Or tolerate a single comment about September 11 482 00:28:10,487 --> 00:28:11,828 at the dinner table. 483 00:28:11,926 --> 00:28:14,293 God, maybe that's going to show up in the divorce papers. 484 00:28:14,391 --> 00:28:16,846 "Refused to stop referencing traumatic event 485 00:28:16,950 --> 00:28:18,859 more than six years after the fact." 486 00:28:18,966 --> 00:28:19,696 Mm-hmm. 487 00:28:19,798 --> 00:28:23,627 "By the way, 'Why can't you just get over it?"' 488 00:28:23,734 --> 00:28:25,457 I'll tell you why. 489 00:28:25,557 --> 00:28:29,747 'Cause you're always thinking, you're always wondering, "What if?" 490 00:28:29,845 --> 00:28:32,430 I mean, have I done everything I could possibly do 491 00:28:32,533 --> 00:28:35,696 to stave off disaster? 492 00:28:35,796 --> 00:28:38,796 Did I tell Clara how much I loved her this morning before school, 493 00:28:38,900 --> 00:28:40,361 just in case she never makes it home again. 494 00:28:40,468 --> 00:28:42,923 Oh, Liz, you got to stop. 495 00:28:43,027 --> 00:28:45,482 I can't stop. 496 00:28:45,587 --> 00:28:47,953 Well, as a fearless leader once said, 497 00:28:48,050 --> 00:28:52,305 "When you can't stop, you must shop." 498 00:28:53,554 --> 00:28:55,561 (Music plays in store) 499 00:29:05,425 --> 00:29:07,846 You know, the grand irony of the whole thing 500 00:29:07,952 --> 00:29:12,458 is that the first time around, all I wanted... 501 00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:13,803 Thank you. 502 00:29:13,904 --> 00:29:16,838 ...was for Joel to leave me alone and not touch me. 503 00:29:16,944 --> 00:29:18,285 Well, that was because your joints ached. 504 00:29:18,383 --> 00:29:20,238 And I had to pee every five seconds. 505 00:29:20,335 --> 00:29:22,439 Which is better than peeing all over yourself, 506 00:29:22,543 --> 00:29:25,030 which is what you do after you give birth. 507 00:29:25,134 --> 00:29:27,305 Yeah, the cruel twist of fate is that at this time, 508 00:29:27,406 --> 00:29:29,380 all the women do is shag. 509 00:29:29,486 --> 00:29:31,308 And there is nobody to shag me. 510 00:29:31,405 --> 00:29:33,478 She got pregnant through sympathy sex. 511 00:29:33,581 --> 00:29:35,720 Her husband felt guilty after he ran off, 512 00:29:35,821 --> 00:29:38,188 so he sent the kids out with a sitter, got a bottle of wine, 513 00:29:38,285 --> 00:29:39,561 and jumped on her. 514 00:29:39,661 --> 00:29:40,871 Shagged me madly. 515 00:29:40,973 --> 00:29:42,282 Got her pregnant... 516 00:29:42,380 --> 00:29:43,362 And then he left her. 517 00:29:43,468 --> 00:29:44,678 Pig! 518 00:29:44,781 --> 00:29:46,853 Oh, yeah. 519 00:29:48,812 --> 00:29:49,706 SHEILA: Hey, you guys... 520 00:29:49,804 --> 00:29:51,975 - ELIZA: That's nice. - SHEILA: It's pretty, yeah. 521 00:29:52,075 --> 00:29:53,733 For a 6-year-old. 522 00:29:53,835 --> 00:29:55,242 I got to tell you something. 523 00:29:55,340 --> 00:29:57,478 It does not leave this room. 524 00:29:57,579 --> 00:30:01,572 Okay, so last night, I got the kids to bed about 9:00, 525 00:30:01,674 --> 00:30:02,721 and I ran a bath, 526 00:30:02,826 --> 00:30:03,906 which would have been really lovely 527 00:30:04,010 --> 00:30:06,181 except I only had that Strawberry Shortcake bubble bath. 528 00:30:06,282 --> 00:30:11,016 - So I'm lying there, in the bath... - Yeah... 529 00:30:11,113 --> 00:30:12,771 naked... 530 00:30:12,873 --> 00:30:14,214 What? What? 531 00:30:14,313 --> 00:30:15,109 Good! 532 00:30:15,209 --> 00:30:16,136 (Laughing) 533 00:30:16,233 --> 00:30:20,094 You know the little, um, motorized submarine bath toys... 534 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,501 - The little, "Chiggachiggachigga..." - Yeah. 535 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:24,607 Oh! 536 00:30:24,712 --> 00:30:25,791 What? 537 00:30:26,215 --> 00:30:27,938 You know, they look a bit like dildos. 538 00:30:30,823 --> 00:30:31,586 You're dirty! 539 00:30:31,687 --> 00:30:32,832 (Laughing) 540 00:30:32,934 --> 00:30:35,552 It was lovely. And it was amazing. 541 00:30:35,655 --> 00:30:39,583 It was lovely and amazing. I got very lucky with the submarine. 542 00:30:39,686 --> 00:30:40,799 Oh... 543 00:30:40,902 --> 00:30:44,066 Okay, all right, look, the moment of reckoning. 544 00:30:44,166 --> 00:30:47,743 Lay it on me. Where would I wear this? 545 00:30:47,845 --> 00:30:48,957 Parent-teacher conference. 546 00:30:50,469 --> 00:30:52,127 Okay. 547 00:30:52,549 --> 00:30:53,214 What about... 548 00:30:55,236 --> 00:30:56,218 ...this one? 549 00:30:56,324 --> 00:30:59,422 Well, that's for the date that's never going to happen, isn't it? 550 00:30:59,524 --> 00:31:04,193 Or in case you ever feel like enticing the spousal unit to do 'ya. 551 00:31:05,315 --> 00:31:06,559 Hey, how about this one? 552 00:31:06,659 --> 00:31:09,888 Well, that's nice. That's for keeping cozy at your desk. 553 00:31:09,987 --> 00:31:12,223 Cozy at my desk doing what? 554 00:31:12,323 --> 00:31:13,817 I don't know. I'm just here for the fashion advice. 555 00:31:13,922 --> 00:31:17,337 I can't solve your life crisis. 556 00:31:17,441 --> 00:31:21,336 I'm going to go check out the size 29. 557 00:31:22,561 --> 00:31:24,121 ELIZA: What does it say about the world 558 00:31:24,225 --> 00:31:27,094 when a perfectly attractive woman like my best friend Sheila 559 00:31:27,201 --> 00:31:32,601 has to resort to wanking off with her son's bath toy? 560 00:31:32,704 --> 00:31:34,013 Oh... 561 00:31:34,112 --> 00:31:37,078 Even if she is seriously pregnant at this point, 562 00:31:37,184 --> 00:31:40,926 it somehow seems unjust. 563 00:31:43,135 --> 00:31:44,695 (Keyboard clicking) 564 00:31:48,607 --> 00:31:52,501 Motherhood is not knowing what's going to hit you next. 565 00:31:52,606 --> 00:31:56,948 Motherhood is a day in May, a hot air balloon... 566 00:32:02,460 --> 00:32:05,875 ... God's gift to womankind. 567 00:32:16,155 --> 00:32:19,221 (Lucas hums) 568 00:32:27,866 --> 00:32:29,807 (Lucas mumbles something to himself) 569 00:32:35,449 --> 00:32:38,231 ELIZA: What about when your child's hand is still so small 570 00:32:38,328 --> 00:32:42,452 that he or she puts that hand in yours with absolute trust? 571 00:32:42,553 --> 00:32:45,138 Their incredibly soft cheeks when you kiss them. 572 00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:47,379 The way their foreheads sweat when they're sleeping, 573 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:48,854 and the hair sticks to it. 574 00:32:48,951 --> 00:32:53,391 The hilariously weird things they say when they're learning to talk. 575 00:32:53,495 --> 00:32:56,145 The way you save their lost teeth after they fall out, 576 00:32:56,247 --> 00:32:58,156 and you've done your tooth fairy routine, 577 00:32:58,263 --> 00:32:59,986 like some demented Nazi, 578 00:33:00,087 --> 00:33:03,152 because you can't stand to give up any part of them, 579 00:33:03,254 --> 00:33:05,741 no matter how tiny. 580 00:33:05,846 --> 00:33:06,315 (Door shuts slams shut) 581 00:33:06,421 --> 00:33:08,177 Oh... Sorry I'm late. 582 00:33:08,278 --> 00:33:12,172 Morris needed the final edit on the Albanian manuscript. 583 00:33:12,277 --> 00:33:14,960 Jesus, you know, I had to pile through a bunch of extras 584 00:33:15,060 --> 00:33:18,443 with really bad moustaches just to get to the front door. 585 00:33:18,548 --> 00:33:20,239 Did you notice that our car got towed? 586 00:33:20,340 --> 00:33:22,445 Yes, I did. I've been trying to call you. 587 00:33:22,548 --> 00:33:24,108 - AVERY: Hi! - LUCAS: Hi. 588 00:33:24,211 --> 00:33:26,382 - AVERY: Really? - Mm-hmm. 589 00:33:26,483 --> 00:33:28,523 Oh, yeah. Look at that. Eight missed calls. 590 00:33:28,627 --> 00:33:29,521 Ringer must have been off. 591 00:33:30,227 --> 00:33:32,845 So, uh, did you have something you needed to tell me? 592 00:33:32,946 --> 00:33:34,702 ELIZA: Nothing that I couldn't figure out on my own. 593 00:33:34,802 --> 00:33:36,046 You have no idea how lucky you are 594 00:33:36,146 --> 00:33:38,088 to be married to a consummate multitasked. 595 00:33:38,194 --> 00:33:39,568 Ah, but I do know. 596 00:33:43,986 --> 00:33:46,506 ELIZA: Hey, can you please take him across the hall? 597 00:33:46,609 --> 00:33:48,682 I need to put in another half an hour. I just... 598 00:33:48,785 --> 00:33:49,865 I'm just beginning to get somewhere. 599 00:33:49,968 --> 00:33:50,917 - Oh, really? - ELIZA: Yep. 600 00:33:51,024 --> 00:33:51,885 Good. 601 00:33:55,728 --> 00:33:58,859 (Bell tolls) 602 00:34:06,671 --> 00:34:09,540 AVERY: Is that Paul? I think that's Paul. 603 00:34:09,647 --> 00:34:12,199 Do you see him? 604 00:34:13,518 --> 00:34:14,728 - Did I miss her? - AVERY: No, no. 605 00:34:14,830 --> 00:34:18,212 Hi, sweetie! Hi! 606 00:34:19,662 --> 00:34:21,352 See your sister, yeah? 607 00:34:21,453 --> 00:34:22,314 Where is she? 608 00:34:23,789 --> 00:34:26,025 - AVERY: Oh, there she is. - Hi! 609 00:34:26,125 --> 00:34:28,361 Hi, Mom! Hi! 610 00:34:28,460 --> 00:34:30,631 Hi, Clara! 611 00:34:30,732 --> 00:34:32,739 - Oh... - Oh, God! 612 00:34:32,844 --> 00:34:34,186 Clara! 613 00:34:34,284 --> 00:34:35,974 TEACHER: Line up, please! 614 00:34:36,076 --> 00:34:37,766 ELIZA: Clara? 615 00:34:37,867 --> 00:34:39,427 Clara? 616 00:34:39,531 --> 00:34:43,305 (Children playing) 617 00:34:47,114 --> 00:34:50,430 It's her last day of being 5. 618 00:34:55,049 --> 00:34:57,351 Oh, Avery, Avery, Avery, Lucas is here. 619 00:34:57,450 --> 00:34:58,431 Didn't you notice? 620 00:34:58,537 --> 00:35:01,406 I put him in front of the Teletubbies. He'll be paralyzed for an hour. 621 00:35:01,513 --> 00:35:03,684 No, no, no... I'd love to, but I can't. No! 622 00:35:03,784 --> 00:35:05,856 I have a deadline and a party to throw, remember? 623 00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:07,389 Yeah. 624 00:35:07,496 --> 00:35:08,773 (Music plays) 625 00:35:12,423 --> 00:35:14,692 Av? Can I borrow your bike? 626 00:35:14,791 --> 00:35:15,423 Sure. 627 00:35:15,527 --> 00:35:18,691 Oh, can you read my draft? 628 00:35:18,791 --> 00:35:20,165 Can you explain to me what it is again? 629 00:35:20,263 --> 00:35:21,757 Yes. 630 00:35:21,862 --> 00:35:24,545 I'm submitting a piece to a parenting magazine. 631 00:35:24,646 --> 00:35:27,198 It's a contest. I mean, it's kind of a real gig. 632 00:35:27,302 --> 00:35:28,763 But I can't get into that right now. 633 00:35:28,870 --> 00:35:31,717 It's only 500 words. It's a first draft. 634 00:35:31,813 --> 00:35:34,463 But, no, I feel like it's solid, you know? 635 00:35:34,565 --> 00:35:37,379 Something I could put my name to and feel good about it. 636 00:35:37,476 --> 00:35:38,818 I left a copy on my desk. 637 00:35:38,917 --> 00:35:40,062 Sure. 638 00:35:40,164 --> 00:35:41,092 And, Avery? 639 00:35:41,188 --> 00:35:42,682 Hmm? 640 00:35:42,788 --> 00:35:45,438 Mm... Nothing. It's just... 641 00:35:45,540 --> 00:35:47,263 Be honest. 642 00:35:47,364 --> 00:35:48,640 Bye. 643 00:35:52,195 --> 00:35:52,697 Bye! 644 00:35:52,803 --> 00:35:55,672 - LUCAS: Bye. - Bye. 645 00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:18,331 (The Go-Between's "Streets of Your Town" plays) 646 00:36:48,860 --> 00:36:50,070 ELIZA: Shit! 647 00:36:56,220 --> 00:36:58,325 (Honking) 648 00:36:58,684 --> 00:37:03,255 (Elevator-type music plays) 649 00:37:19,385 --> 00:37:21,938 BOY: Mama, I want the big Spider-Man, 650 00:37:22,041 --> 00:37:24,310 not the little Spider-Man. 651 00:37:24,409 --> 00:37:26,896 No, I told you... It's 39 dollars. 652 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:29,171 BOY: I want the big one! 653 00:37:29,272 --> 00:37:31,955 It's too much money, now, come on! 654 00:37:32,855 --> 00:37:35,572 I told you, you can't have this, Jorge! 655 00:37:35,672 --> 00:37:36,915 Stop it, that's enough. 656 00:37:37,015 --> 00:37:38,444 Come on. Laura? 657 00:37:38,551 --> 00:37:40,209 Laura, get back over here! 658 00:37:40,855 --> 00:37:43,276 Jorge, come on. 659 00:37:48,790 --> 00:37:52,466 Laura? Laura, get back over here. 660 00:38:06,676 --> 00:38:08,050 (Music plays) 661 00:38:33,265 --> 00:38:35,021 ELIZA: Yeah, Sheila, got the backpack. 662 00:38:35,121 --> 00:38:36,844 I'm doing my Sherpa routine. 663 00:38:36,945 --> 00:38:38,406 SHEILA: Do you think our children have any idea 664 00:38:38,512 --> 00:38:39,406 how we suffer on their behalf? 665 00:38:39,504 --> 00:38:40,431 ELIZA: Absolutely not. 666 00:38:40,528 --> 00:38:41,957 WOMAN: Hey, you can't cut the line. 667 00:38:42,064 --> 00:38:42,762 Wait your turn! 668 00:38:42,864 --> 00:38:43,758 Look, I got to get out of here. 669 00:38:43,856 --> 00:38:46,277 I just waited 20 minutes for some moron to blow up balloons. 670 00:38:46,383 --> 00:38:47,528 Well, you can't cut the line. 671 00:38:47,631 --> 00:38:50,216 I've got to go pick up my twins from preschool in 10 minutes. 672 00:38:50,319 --> 00:38:52,707 They fine you if you're late. 673 00:38:52,815 --> 00:38:53,447 SHEILA: What the hell is going on? 674 00:38:53,550 --> 00:38:56,005 Crazy, crazy, now showing everywhere. 675 00:38:56,111 --> 00:38:57,190 SHEILA: Hang on, I'm just going to get my tea. 676 00:38:57,294 --> 00:39:00,458 Hi, yes. This is Allison Hopper. 677 00:39:00,558 --> 00:39:03,209 Sorry, I'm just going to be a weensy bit late 678 00:39:03,309 --> 00:39:06,157 picking up Sky and Banjo this afternoon. 679 00:39:06,253 --> 00:39:07,682 Sorry about that. 680 00:39:07,789 --> 00:39:13,320 So, Sheila, I'm feeling, why do I even care if I win this contest? 681 00:39:13,420 --> 00:39:16,355 I mean, I'm addressing such a narrow sector of the population. 682 00:39:16,460 --> 00:39:17,670 WOMAN: Move up, the line moved. 683 00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:19,681 SHEILA: Not as narrow as the one you're addressing there. 684 00:39:19,788 --> 00:39:20,802 Where are you? 685 00:39:20,908 --> 00:39:22,337 ELIZA: Getting goody bag stuff. 686 00:39:22,443 --> 00:39:24,548 So much for sticking to your principles. 687 00:39:24,651 --> 00:39:27,073 "So much for sticking to your principles." 688 00:39:29,514 --> 00:39:31,816 (Whispering) Some freakazoid is bothering me. 689 00:39:31,914 --> 00:39:34,183 "Freakazoid!" 690 00:39:34,282 --> 00:39:35,526 What the hell is your problem? 691 00:39:35,625 --> 00:39:37,032 What the hell is your problem? 692 00:39:37,130 --> 00:39:40,064 ELIZA: Sheila, I'm going to call you back, okay? 693 00:39:40,169 --> 00:39:41,478 SHEILA: No, no, no! 694 00:39:41,578 --> 00:39:45,538 ELIZA: Listen, I wasn't speaking very loudly in the first place, okay? 695 00:39:45,641 --> 00:39:47,015 I believe in cell phone etiquette. 696 00:39:47,113 --> 00:39:49,862 You introduced your conversation into my personal space, 697 00:39:49,961 --> 00:39:52,546 thus violating any commonly held definition of "etiquette." 698 00:39:52,648 --> 00:39:53,476 Is that so? 699 00:39:53,576 --> 00:39:54,524 Move it! Move up! 700 00:39:55,272 --> 00:39:57,312 Did you know that 90 percent of cell phone users 701 00:39:57,415 --> 00:39:58,211 believe they're courteous 702 00:39:58,311 --> 00:39:59,969 while 85 percent of those same users 703 00:40:00,072 --> 00:40:02,308 complain about being annoyed by others' conversations? 704 00:40:02,407 --> 00:40:04,708 Now, those numbers really don't add up, do they? 705 00:40:04,807 --> 00:40:06,367 ELIZA: Why don't we have this conversation in 20 years, 706 00:40:06,471 --> 00:40:08,380 when you've learned a thing or two about the real world? 707 00:40:08,486 --> 00:40:09,414 Oh, you mean when I'm old? 708 00:40:09,510 --> 00:40:11,004 (Sighs) 709 00:40:11,110 --> 00:40:13,531 Even you, my friend, will turn 40. 710 00:40:13,638 --> 00:40:16,255 (Screams) 711 00:40:16,357 --> 00:40:17,567 (Mumbles something) 712 00:40:17,669 --> 00:40:18,268 COLLEGE STUDENT: You know what? 713 00:40:18,373 --> 00:40:20,893 You urban moms are like a case study in liberal hypocrisy. 714 00:40:20,996 --> 00:40:23,484 You think the rules apply to other people, but never to you. 715 00:40:23,588 --> 00:40:25,498 You blab your precious banalities into cell phones, 716 00:40:25,604 --> 00:40:26,531 you buy gluten-free snacks, 717 00:40:26,628 --> 00:40:28,450 yet have no comprehension of your carbon footprint! 718 00:40:28,548 --> 00:40:31,482 I'd like to shove my carbon footprint right up your ass. 719 00:40:31,588 --> 00:40:33,824 Come on, you're up, you're up! 720 00:40:33,923 --> 00:40:36,410 Can you believe this dickhead? 721 00:40:39,555 --> 00:40:40,121 I'm sorry. 722 00:40:40,227 --> 00:40:42,332 GIRL: Mommy! She said "dickhead"! 723 00:40:42,434 --> 00:40:46,046 (Shakespeare’s Sister's "Goodbye Cruel World" plays) 724 00:41:32,701 --> 00:41:34,042 But that's not her name. 725 00:41:34,141 --> 00:41:34,970 Yes, it is. 726 00:41:35,068 --> 00:41:37,239 Says it right here on the order form: "Clara." 727 00:41:37,340 --> 00:41:39,674 Her name is "Clara." 728 00:41:39,772 --> 00:41:40,819 Look, see? 729 00:41:40,924 --> 00:41:43,793 "Clara." Not, "Clara." 730 00:41:43,899 --> 00:41:46,801 Well, our forester is on a cigarette break, so... 731 00:41:46,907 --> 00:41:48,598 Well, can't someone else fix it? 732 00:41:48,699 --> 00:41:51,480 All you have to do is just scrape off the "ra", right? 733 00:41:51,578 --> 00:41:54,033 And rewrite it in matching icing so it doesn't look like an accident. 734 00:41:54,139 --> 00:41:55,665 Only the forester can do that. 735 00:41:55,770 --> 00:41:58,322 ELIZA: Look, I have to go home. I mean, I have to set up. 736 00:41:58,426 --> 00:42:00,400 So come back. We're open till midnight. 737 00:42:00,506 --> 00:42:03,091 ELIZA: I can't come back. The party is at 5:00. 738 00:42:03,193 --> 00:42:04,818 Agh... 739 00:42:04,921 --> 00:42:06,928 You have to admit it's your own fault. 740 00:42:07,032 --> 00:42:08,494 If you had named her "Sophie" or "Ella," 741 00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:11,764 you wouldn't be having this problem, but you gave her an "Edna" name. 742 00:42:11,864 --> 00:42:14,133 - A what? - You know, an "Edna" name? 743 00:42:14,232 --> 00:42:16,850 Like "Mabel" or "Agnes" or "Velma." 744 00:42:16,952 --> 00:42:18,774 Yeah, like lesbian librarian names. 745 00:42:18,871 --> 00:42:20,627 WOMAN: Don't you read the "Cranky pants Post"? 746 00:42:20,727 --> 00:42:23,825 She did a whole thing last week about names, it was genius. 747 00:42:23,927 --> 00:42:26,032 Well, yes, I mean I do read her, 748 00:42:26,134 --> 00:42:29,069 but I like other parenting blogs better. 749 00:42:29,174 --> 00:42:30,897 What about "The Bjorn Identity"? 750 00:42:30,998 --> 00:42:33,300 That woman is so... I don't know. 751 00:42:33,398 --> 00:42:35,886 I think she's a feminist. 752 00:42:35,989 --> 00:42:37,516 Well, what could be worse than that? 753 00:42:37,621 --> 00:42:41,680 ELIZA: Anyway, "Clara" is not an "Edna" name, right? 754 00:42:41,781 --> 00:42:44,880 WOMAN: Let me guess, you named her after your favourite grandmother? 755 00:42:44,980 --> 00:42:46,190 Stop. 756 00:42:46,517 --> 00:42:50,094 (The Dear Jane’s "Ship" plays) 757 00:43:33,295 --> 00:43:34,604 Oh, excuse me. 758 00:43:34,703 --> 00:43:36,361 Excuse me, I live here. 759 00:43:36,463 --> 00:43:40,237 Oh, do you know if there's a McKendrick in 6-C? 760 00:43:40,335 --> 00:43:43,269 Yes, I do. 6-C and 6-B. 761 00:43:43,374 --> 00:43:43,908 Try the buzzers? 762 00:43:44,014 --> 00:43:44,646 Yeah. 763 00:43:44,750 --> 00:43:45,513 What? 764 00:43:47,213 --> 00:43:49,002 Oh, no! No! 765 00:43:49,101 --> 00:43:51,818 Avery! 766 00:43:51,917 --> 00:43:53,029 I just... 767 00:43:53,133 --> 00:43:54,212 Classic! 768 00:43:54,317 --> 00:43:57,034 How am I going to get this shit upstairs? 769 00:43:57,132 --> 00:43:58,409 I was going to stash it in my car, 770 00:43:58,508 --> 00:44:00,483 which I like to call my roving metal purse, 771 00:44:00,588 --> 00:44:03,010 which was parked right over there, but then... 772 00:44:03,116 --> 00:44:03,945 (Groans) 773 00:44:04,043 --> 00:44:10,120 Then... this came! This invasion of the block snatchers! 774 00:44:10,219 --> 00:44:13,186 I've got to throw a party for my daughter... 775 00:44:13,290 --> 00:44:14,851 ...at 5:00! 776 00:44:14,954 --> 00:44:16,776 I don't know where my husband has gone. 777 00:44:16,874 --> 00:44:23,103 He has this habit of disappearing right when I need him the most. 778 00:44:23,337 --> 00:44:25,508 Just, I'll sign for it, okay? 779 00:44:29,417 --> 00:44:30,791 You've got a lot to carry. 780 00:44:51,559 --> 00:44:55,748 So, Mikes, you a messenger full-time? 781 00:44:55,846 --> 00:44:57,700 Of course not. No. I write. 782 00:44:57,797 --> 00:44:58,463 (Laughs) 783 00:44:58,565 --> 00:44:59,678 Don't we all? 784 00:44:59,781 --> 00:45:02,203 - Write what? - Plays. Well, sort of. 785 00:45:02,309 --> 00:45:05,538 I guess you'd call them quietly domestic plays set in India. 786 00:45:05,637 --> 00:45:06,749 Oh, cool. 787 00:45:06,853 --> 00:45:07,780 Yeah, I tried to find a job 788 00:45:07,877 --> 00:45:09,665 that would occupy the least amount of mental space 789 00:45:09,764 --> 00:45:11,673 and be so opposite my true aesthetic intentions 790 00:45:11,781 --> 00:45:13,788 that it wouldn't get in the way, you know? 791 00:45:13,892 --> 00:45:15,168 ELIZA: Does that work for you? 792 00:45:15,268 --> 00:45:16,959 MIKESH: Most of the time. 793 00:45:17,059 --> 00:45:20,834 How do you do this every day? I'm winded, man. 794 00:45:20,931 --> 00:45:22,240 Lightweight. 795 00:45:24,003 --> 00:45:26,654 ELIZA: My daughter is a nicotine Nazi. 796 00:45:26,754 --> 00:45:30,583 They do all this anti-smoking propaganda in school, 797 00:45:30,690 --> 00:45:31,900 which is good, I guess, 798 00:45:32,002 --> 00:45:36,224 but my position is everything in moderation, 799 00:45:36,322 --> 00:45:40,958 which is hard to explain to a kid, you know? 800 00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:43,993 Excuse me one sec. 801 00:45:44,097 --> 00:45:44,598 Edith? 802 00:45:44,705 --> 00:45:45,653 (Knocks on Edith's door) 803 00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:47,222 You okay in there? 804 00:45:47,328 --> 00:45:48,506 EDITH: Who is it? 805 00:45:51,199 --> 00:45:52,988 It's me, Eliza. 806 00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:57,982 Got your juice. Some food for Lady. 807 00:45:58,974 --> 00:46:02,008 Edith, do you need something to eat? 808 00:46:02,110 --> 00:46:04,663 No, dear. 809 00:46:04,766 --> 00:46:06,621 What day is today? 810 00:46:07,357 --> 00:46:09,430 It's Friday. 811 00:46:09,533 --> 00:46:11,126 It's May 25. 812 00:46:11,709 --> 00:46:13,203 May 25, Edith. 813 00:46:13,310 --> 00:46:15,611 May 25. 814 00:46:15,709 --> 00:46:17,651 Okay, Edith. Got to go. 815 00:46:17,757 --> 00:46:19,928 Just right next door if you need me. 816 00:46:20,029 --> 00:46:22,450 I'm right there. Bye. 817 00:46:24,284 --> 00:46:25,363 Wow. 818 00:46:25,468 --> 00:46:27,671 Wow, indeed. 819 00:46:27,771 --> 00:46:29,200 Well... 820 00:46:30,171 --> 00:46:34,677 Mikes, thank you for carrying all this stuff up for me. 821 00:46:34,779 --> 00:46:37,200 You really saved me. 822 00:46:41,498 --> 00:46:42,229 Oh... 823 00:46:42,330 --> 00:46:44,369 Whew! 824 00:46:44,474 --> 00:46:46,863 I'll take that letter for Avery. 825 00:46:46,969 --> 00:46:48,311 Thank you. 826 00:46:48,409 --> 00:46:50,416 Thank you. 827 00:46:50,521 --> 00:46:51,349 Um... 828 00:46:52,921 --> 00:46:56,085 This was really nice of you. 829 00:46:58,136 --> 00:47:01,332 Um... Do you...? 830 00:47:01,432 --> 00:47:05,076 Well, you must be thirsty. 831 00:47:05,175 --> 00:47:06,604 Do you want a glass of water? 832 00:47:07,831 --> 00:47:08,724 Yeah. 833 00:47:08,823 --> 00:47:10,067 Okay. 834 00:47:10,167 --> 00:47:12,948 - MIKESH: Here, let me get that. - ELIZA: Oh... 835 00:47:13,046 --> 00:47:13,907 You're so kind. 836 00:47:16,374 --> 00:47:17,137 All right. 837 00:47:19,094 --> 00:47:21,134 ELIZA: Sorry for this heinous mess. 838 00:47:21,237 --> 00:47:22,546 MIKESH: Oh, no. I was... 839 00:47:22,645 --> 00:47:25,230 The view across your rooftop is so poetical. 840 00:47:25,333 --> 00:47:26,827 You should see where I live. 841 00:47:26,933 --> 00:47:29,802 Bush wick, man. It's a little grim. 842 00:47:29,908 --> 00:47:33,934 Well, you're, you're, what, you're, um... how old? 843 00:47:34,036 --> 00:47:35,498 MIKESH: 22. 844 00:47:35,604 --> 00:47:39,117 Oh, you can deal with Bush wick, then. 845 00:47:39,219 --> 00:47:41,902 When you get to be my age... 846 00:47:43,059 --> 00:47:43,953 44. 847 00:47:44,051 --> 00:47:45,807 Wow, well, you look fantastic. 848 00:47:47,250 --> 00:47:50,316 Actually, I'm not quite 44. I'm, um... 849 00:47:50,419 --> 00:47:51,182 I just lied. 850 00:47:51,282 --> 00:47:53,802 I think I was hoping that you just might say that. 851 00:47:55,858 --> 00:47:58,029 The point is, when you get to be my age, 852 00:47:58,130 --> 00:47:59,853 the view becomes less poetical 853 00:47:59,953 --> 00:48:04,710 in relationship to other aspects of living here. 854 00:48:04,817 --> 00:48:05,897 One door on, one door off. 855 00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:08,073 Is this some kind of artistic statement? 856 00:48:08,176 --> 00:48:08,874 Uh... 857 00:48:08,976 --> 00:48:11,943 This is one of Avery's renovation projects. 858 00:48:12,047 --> 00:48:15,244 Look closely, and you'll find similar statements elsewhere. 859 00:48:15,343 --> 00:48:19,020 Like his perennially disorganized personal library. 860 00:48:19,119 --> 00:48:20,973 MIKESH: He seems interesting, your husband. 861 00:48:21,071 --> 00:48:24,104 Oh, he is. 862 00:48:24,207 --> 00:48:25,352 He's... 863 00:48:25,454 --> 00:48:28,902 He's eccentric, and I, um... 864 00:48:29,006 --> 00:48:32,934 I fell in love with those eccentricities, you know? 865 00:48:34,414 --> 00:48:35,974 ELIZA: But then you have kids 866 00:48:36,077 --> 00:48:39,111 and try to lead what's called a grown-up life, 867 00:48:39,213 --> 00:48:43,403 and those sort of things become obstacles to a sane existence. 868 00:48:43,501 --> 00:48:45,191 So you used to be a writer, too? 869 00:48:47,756 --> 00:48:49,349 Well, this is you, no? 870 00:48:51,403 --> 00:48:53,824 ELIZA: Yes, um... 871 00:48:53,931 --> 00:48:56,451 Or a version of me. I'd really appreciate it if you... 872 00:48:56,554 --> 00:48:58,409 MIKESH: "She woke up with the taste of blood in her mouth. 873 00:48:58,507 --> 00:49:01,224 The memory of the night before hit her full force. 874 00:49:01,322 --> 00:49:02,467 Inexorable. 875 00:49:02,570 --> 00:49:03,911 Swift. 876 00:49:04,010 --> 00:49:05,897 Like fast water moving over rocks... 877 00:49:05,994 --> 00:49:08,066 ...she was concerned that... - ELIZA: Please stop. 878 00:49:10,953 --> 00:49:15,906 Yeah, that was my thing. That kind of fiercely lyrical fiction. 879 00:49:16,008 --> 00:49:17,983 I got scholarships for it. 880 00:49:18,088 --> 00:49:21,470 I was considered to be kind of an up-and-comer. 881 00:49:21,576 --> 00:49:23,714 I loved writing. 882 00:49:23,816 --> 00:49:25,409 I still do. 883 00:49:25,511 --> 00:49:33,279 It's just, you know, when you have kids... 884 00:49:33,382 --> 00:49:36,415 I still write. Sort of. 885 00:49:36,518 --> 00:49:39,747 On more, um... everyday topics. 886 00:49:39,846 --> 00:49:41,756 It's just... 887 00:49:45,157 --> 00:49:48,026 How come you're being so nice to me? 888 00:49:48,133 --> 00:49:50,336 I saw you go to that woman next door. 889 00:49:50,437 --> 00:49:52,673 I saw you give her that juice, very easily. 890 00:49:52,773 --> 00:49:54,682 Very selflessly. 891 00:49:54,789 --> 00:49:57,243 Why can't I be nice, too? 892 00:49:57,348 --> 00:49:59,901 Besides, you're very pretty. 893 00:50:00,004 --> 00:50:01,378 (Air escapes loudly) 894 00:50:01,475 --> 00:50:01,944 Um... 895 00:50:02,052 --> 00:50:04,899 - Tell me something else. - About what? 896 00:50:04,995 --> 00:50:06,522 About being a writer. 897 00:50:06,627 --> 00:50:07,936 Oh, well... 898 00:50:08,035 --> 00:50:09,344 Um... 899 00:50:09,443 --> 00:50:13,239 I used to write record reviews when I was first in college 900 00:50:13,346 --> 00:50:18,135 and after I graduated, for these little downtown newspapers, 901 00:50:18,242 --> 00:50:23,293 none of which really exist anymore, to get free albums. 902 00:50:23,394 --> 00:50:24,768 (Giggles) 903 00:50:24,865 --> 00:50:27,133 Vinyl! 904 00:50:27,233 --> 00:50:30,080 Yeah. 905 00:50:30,176 --> 00:50:34,398 Now I'm really dating myself. 906 00:50:34,496 --> 00:50:36,830 I mean, Avie was really into music. 907 00:50:36,928 --> 00:50:38,138 He turned me on to lots of bands. 908 00:50:38,240 --> 00:50:41,851 I mean, some you've heard of and probably some you never have. 909 00:50:41,951 --> 00:50:42,583 Like what? 910 00:50:42,687 --> 00:50:45,851 ELIZA: Oh, I don't know. 911 00:50:45,951 --> 00:50:47,773 Play me something. 912 00:50:47,870 --> 00:50:49,364 ELIZA: Oh. 913 00:50:49,470 --> 00:50:50,964 Really? 914 00:50:51,070 --> 00:50:52,793 Yeah. 915 00:50:52,894 --> 00:50:57,149 Um... Okay. 916 00:50:59,709 --> 00:51:01,465 Um... 917 00:51:05,469 --> 00:51:08,251 - You want to hear something great? - Yeah. 918 00:51:18,075 --> 00:51:21,587 (Pylon's "Stop it" starts playing) 919 00:51:31,034 --> 00:51:34,197 So spare and basic. It's Pylon. 920 00:51:36,248 --> 00:51:37,361 Turn it up! 921 00:51:37,464 --> 00:51:37,966 No, no, no. 922 00:51:38,072 --> 00:51:40,406 My downstairs neighbours have this hideous tool, 923 00:51:40,504 --> 00:51:41,933 and they'll just start banging on the pipes. 924 00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:43,633 Who cares? 925 00:51:49,432 --> 00:51:53,709 (Eliza raises the volume) 926 00:51:54,391 --> 00:51:57,521 (Eliza raises the volume even more) 927 00:53:07,342 --> 00:53:08,390 (Eliza turns music off) 928 00:53:08,495 --> 00:53:10,317 (Eliza breathes heavily) 929 00:53:10,415 --> 00:53:11,211 Fantastic! 930 00:53:11,310 --> 00:53:13,383 Yeah. 931 00:53:13,486 --> 00:53:15,308 It's great. 932 00:53:18,382 --> 00:53:20,170 Well... 933 00:53:21,133 --> 00:53:25,475 Oh, look, I got to get things finished up around here 934 00:53:25,580 --> 00:53:27,140 before my husband gets back. 935 00:53:29,228 --> 00:53:32,675 But you've been a real life-saver. 936 00:53:32,780 --> 00:53:33,707 Yeah? 937 00:53:33,804 --> 00:53:35,844 Absolutely. 938 00:53:37,099 --> 00:53:39,554 Well, I'd love to read your fiction sometime. 939 00:53:40,395 --> 00:53:42,085 Do you have anything more recent? 940 00:53:42,187 --> 00:53:45,602 No, not at the present moment. 941 00:53:45,706 --> 00:53:52,776 No, at the present moment, my life is... extremely reality-based. 942 00:53:54,345 --> 00:53:57,989 But I do plan to get back to it at some point. 943 00:53:58,089 --> 00:54:00,031 No, I mean, I will. 944 00:54:00,136 --> 00:54:03,584 As my favourite grad school professor used to say, 945 00:54:03,688 --> 00:54:11,969 "There is no 'try,' there is only 'do' and 'do not."' 946 00:54:15,623 --> 00:54:23,970 Well, Mikes, it's been incredibly nice to meet you. 947 00:54:38,309 --> 00:54:40,064 Thank you. 948 00:54:44,387 --> 00:54:48,577 (Music plays) 949 00:55:12,736 --> 00:55:15,070 (Phone rings) 950 00:55:15,168 --> 00:55:17,307 SHEILA: I cannot believe you! 951 00:55:17,408 --> 00:55:20,703 What, Sheila? What is it? What did I do? 952 00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:22,905 SHEILA: Do you have absolutely no sense of boundaries whatsoever? 953 00:55:23,007 --> 00:55:24,185 What are you talking about? 954 00:55:24,288 --> 00:55:27,516 SHEILA: You used my name! You used my real name! 955 00:55:27,615 --> 00:55:30,298 Everyone who knows us is now going to know! 956 00:55:30,399 --> 00:55:31,347 Know what? 957 00:55:31,455 --> 00:55:33,015 SHEILA: Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is? 958 00:55:33,118 --> 00:55:33,750 Where are you? 959 00:55:33,854 --> 00:55:34,748 I'm here! 960 00:55:34,846 --> 00:55:37,334 ELIZA: Sheila, Sheila! Hold on, I'm coming down! 961 00:55:37,437 --> 00:55:39,412 SHEILA: No, don't come down! Don't fucking bother! 962 00:55:39,517 --> 00:55:41,688 Are you so hard up for something to say 963 00:55:41,789 --> 00:55:42,520 that you have to use 964 00:55:42,621 --> 00:55:44,247 one of your closest friend's most personal 965 00:55:44,349 --> 00:55:46,454 and private experiences 966 00:55:46,557 --> 00:55:49,044 just to make yourself seem more clever and insightful? 967 00:55:49,149 --> 00:55:51,832 Oh, Christ! Sheila, I didn't mean to! 968 00:55:51,932 --> 00:55:54,353 Yeah, but you did! It doesn't matter, Eliza! 969 00:55:54,459 --> 00:55:56,826 Oh, God, I thought other single moms would relate! 970 00:55:56,924 --> 00:56:00,240 Oh, so wait... Now I'm your token single mom? 971 00:56:00,347 --> 00:56:02,387 No, no, no. Other moms, too, okay? 972 00:56:02,491 --> 00:56:04,595 Married moms. I mean, they can be sympathetic! 973 00:56:04,699 --> 00:56:06,673 Oh, they can feel sorry for me, too. Well, that's great. 974 00:56:06,779 --> 00:56:08,470 So everybody can feel sorry for me! 975 00:56:08,570 --> 00:56:10,163 I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me! 976 00:56:10,267 --> 00:56:10,997 I'm a grown-up! 977 00:56:11,098 --> 00:56:12,658 I made a grown-up choice! 978 00:56:12,762 --> 00:56:15,925 And by the way, married women don't have a whole lot of sex either... 979 00:56:16,026 --> 00:56:17,302 ... and you should bloody know! 980 00:56:17,401 --> 00:56:20,848 I just... I'm coming down! Just hold on! 981 00:56:20,953 --> 00:56:22,960 Don't come down, I'm lea... I've got to go and get the kids. 982 00:56:23,064 --> 00:56:24,046 No, Sheila! 983 00:56:26,169 --> 00:56:28,950 Sheila, are you still bringing Clara? 984 00:56:29,048 --> 00:56:32,397 Because if you don't, then I've got to arrange with Avery and... 985 00:56:32,503 --> 00:56:35,318 Of course I'm still bringing Clara. What do you think? 986 00:56:35,416 --> 00:56:36,976 Oh, God. 987 00:56:37,079 --> 00:56:40,821 You think I'm going to punish a child on her almost birthday 988 00:56:40,919 --> 00:56:42,348 just 'cause her mother's got a big fucking mouth 989 00:56:42,454 --> 00:56:44,047 and no sense of discretion? 990 00:56:44,150 --> 00:56:48,111 Sheila, just please, just don't judge me, okay? 991 00:56:48,213 --> 00:56:50,897 I mean, it's not your job. I'm sorry, okay? 992 00:56:50,997 --> 00:56:53,004 I mean, I'm... I made a mistake! 993 00:56:53,110 --> 00:56:55,760 Yeah, you sure bloody did, babe! 994 00:57:01,589 --> 00:57:04,622 (Sad music plays) 995 00:58:03,437 --> 00:58:06,251 (Sighs) 996 00:58:13,837 --> 00:58:15,724 Seriously? 997 00:58:20,171 --> 00:58:21,960 MAN: Hey! 998 00:58:53,224 --> 00:58:55,078 (Cell phone rings) 999 00:58:57,063 --> 00:58:58,340 AVERY: Eliza... 1000 00:59:12,294 --> 00:59:13,374 (Raises volume) 1001 00:59:13,477 --> 00:59:17,787 (Madder Rose's "Goodbye June Fool" plays) 1002 00:59:48,418 --> 00:59:50,109 (Cell phone rings) 1003 00:59:52,354 --> 00:59:53,302 AVERY: Eliz a? 1004 00:59:55,744 --> 00:59:56,638 (Cell phone rings) 1005 00:59:56,737 --> 00:59:58,144 AVERY: Eliz a! 1006 01:00:01,984 --> 01:00:03,358 (Cell phone rings) 1007 01:00:10,943 --> 01:00:11,510 What? 1008 01:00:11,615 --> 01:00:12,149 What the hell? 1009 01:00:12,255 --> 01:00:14,230 Why do you keep hanging up on me, Eliza? 1010 01:00:14,335 --> 01:00:15,612 (Turns music off) 1011 01:00:15,710 --> 01:00:16,441 I'm not Eliza. 1012 01:00:16,543 --> 01:00:19,838 No, no, this is that woman who only knows how to be banal, right? 1013 01:00:19,934 --> 01:00:21,112 What are you talking about? 1014 01:00:21,214 --> 01:00:23,417 If you don't even remember writing that, Avery, 1015 01:00:23,518 --> 01:00:26,649 I'm not only leaving town, I'm filing for divorce right now. 1016 01:00:26,750 --> 01:00:27,643 AVERY: Leaving town? 1017 01:00:27,741 --> 01:00:28,275 Where are you? 1018 01:00:28,381 --> 01:00:28,980 ELIZA: I just turned... 1019 01:00:29,086 --> 01:00:31,322 I'm on... I'm on... 1020 01:00:31,421 --> 01:00:32,947 You're breaking... You're breaking up. 1021 01:00:33,053 --> 01:00:34,394 (Police sirens) 1022 01:00:34,493 --> 01:00:36,729 Oh, God! Shit! 1023 01:00:36,828 --> 01:00:38,388 I can't hear you. You're breaking... 1024 01:00:38,492 --> 01:00:40,695 There's a cop, Avery! I don't want a ticket! 1025 01:00:40,796 --> 01:00:42,170 We can't afford another ticket! 1026 01:00:42,268 --> 01:00:43,162 AVERY: Okay, I know, I know. 1027 01:00:43,260 --> 01:00:45,169 Look, Eliza, you can't leave town. 1028 01:00:46,683 --> 01:00:48,177 Too late. 1029 01:00:48,283 --> 01:00:49,712 AVERY: Why are you so upset? 1030 01:00:49,819 --> 01:00:52,022 You told me to be honest about that thing. 1031 01:00:52,123 --> 01:00:54,294 Well, there's honest, and then there's debilitating, Avery. 1032 01:00:54,395 --> 01:00:56,150 And apparently you don't know the difference. 1033 01:00:56,250 --> 01:00:57,712 Maybe I don't know the difference. 1034 01:00:57,818 --> 01:00:58,996 I mean, just ask Sheila. 1035 01:00:59,097 --> 01:01:01,814 Her opinion of me is not much better than yours at this point. 1036 01:01:01,945 --> 01:01:03,505 What does Sheila have to do with this? 1037 01:01:03,609 --> 01:01:05,300 Don't even ask. I have to steer. 1038 01:01:05,401 --> 01:01:07,638 AVERY: You know, you used to like it when I was tough on you. 1039 01:01:07,736 --> 01:01:09,329 You wanted me to do that. 1040 01:01:09,433 --> 01:01:11,821 ELIZA: Well, somehow '"tough" got a whole lot less appealing today... 1041 01:01:11,929 --> 01:01:13,903 ...when I had to run around absorbing an entire's city worth 1042 01:01:14,008 --> 01:01:14,990 of random hostility. 1043 01:01:15,096 --> 01:01:16,918 Well, it's not like you don't radiate your own. 1044 01:01:17,016 --> 01:01:19,023 The point is, I had something to write. 1045 01:01:19,127 --> 01:01:21,364 Something important to me, if not to you. 1046 01:01:21,463 --> 01:01:21,932 AVERY: Yeah? 1047 01:01:22,039 --> 01:01:23,861 So why did you go shopping with your friends? 1048 01:01:23,959 --> 01:01:26,479 Because it was the last day of the sample sale! 1049 01:01:26,582 --> 01:01:28,949 And I got a 380-dollar dress for 40 dollars! 1050 01:01:29,047 --> 01:01:30,541 That's why, Avery! 1051 01:01:30,646 --> 01:01:32,915 Maybe I should just give it all up and wear mom jeans. 1052 01:01:33,014 --> 01:01:34,802 What the hell are mom jeans? 1053 01:01:34,902 --> 01:01:37,073 It's not like you'd notice, anyway. 1054 01:01:37,590 --> 01:01:40,045 You want to know one of the few benefits of 9/11? 1055 01:01:40,149 --> 01:01:42,221 Excellent cell phone reception in the tunnels. 1056 01:01:42,325 --> 01:01:43,699 AVERY: Okay, Eliz a? 1057 01:01:43,797 --> 01:01:46,033 Just stop, okay? And listen to me. 1058 01:01:46,132 --> 01:01:47,277 This isn't funny, really. 1059 01:01:47,380 --> 01:01:50,729 What is Clara going to say when she gets home and you're not there? 1060 01:01:50,836 --> 01:01:51,784 ELIZA: What does she care? 1061 01:01:51,891 --> 01:01:54,313 She's got her goody bags full of plastic crap 1062 01:01:54,419 --> 01:01:56,142 I bought against my better judgment. 1063 01:01:56,243 --> 01:01:58,031 She's got her cake with the misspelled name... 1064 01:01:58,131 --> 01:01:59,789 ...which I corrected myself. 1065 01:01:59,891 --> 01:02:02,825 She's got her purple cups and plastic forks. 1066 01:02:02,931 --> 01:02:04,392 What does she need me for? 1067 01:02:04,498 --> 01:02:05,742 Are you serious? 1068 01:02:05,842 --> 01:02:09,354 I'm not only serious, I'm in Jersey. 1069 01:02:09,458 --> 01:02:10,505 You're in why...? 1070 01:02:10,610 --> 01:02:12,398 Hold on, wait. 1071 01:02:12,498 --> 01:02:13,261 - AVERY: Whoa, whoa, whoa! - What? 1072 01:02:13,362 --> 01:02:14,572 - AVERY: Oh, my God! - What? 1073 01:02:14,674 --> 01:02:16,266 I think he swallowed something. 1074 01:02:16,369 --> 01:02:17,384 - Hey, hey! - ELIZA: Swallowed what? 1075 01:02:17,489 --> 01:02:19,529 Avery! Avery, what did he swallow? 1076 01:02:19,632 --> 01:02:20,876 I think he's choking! 1077 01:02:20,977 --> 01:02:22,220 Avery, don't push your finger in his throat! 1078 01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:23,782 You can stick it down further! 1079 01:02:23,888 --> 01:02:25,197 Yeah, right! Well, what do I do? 1080 01:02:25,296 --> 01:02:27,303 Yeah, well, we took that class together, don't you remember? 1081 01:02:27,407 --> 01:02:29,000 No, no, I don't remember. What do I...? 1082 01:02:29,104 --> 01:02:31,438 You have to stay calm. Avery, please, please, just... 1083 01:02:31,536 --> 01:02:32,681 Put him over your knee. 1084 01:02:32,783 --> 01:02:33,993 AVERY: I can't get him out of the stroller. 1085 01:02:34,095 --> 01:02:36,233 ELIZA: Put him over your knee and hit him three times on his back! 1086 01:02:36,335 --> 01:02:37,513 What do I do now? I got him on my knee. 1087 01:02:37,614 --> 01:02:40,581 Hit him firmly on the back three times! 1088 01:02:40,687 --> 01:02:41,221 Okay, hold on. 1089 01:02:41,326 --> 01:02:43,748 Oh, God! Come on! Just spit it out, all right? 1090 01:02:43,854 --> 01:02:45,032 Avery! I can't hear you! 1091 01:02:45,134 --> 01:02:47,501 Come on! Come on, Lucas! Spit it out, spit it out! 1092 01:02:47,598 --> 01:02:48,580 ELIZA: Avery? What are you doing? 1093 01:02:48,685 --> 01:02:50,278 Avery? 1094 01:02:50,381 --> 01:02:53,163 Shit! Shit, shit, shit! 1095 01:02:56,333 --> 01:02:56,932 (Tires screech) 1096 01:02:57,036 --> 01:02:59,109 Oh, Lucas! Lucas, I'm coming! 1097 01:02:59,212 --> 01:03:02,179 Oh, my God! Lucas! Oh, my God! 1098 01:03:02,284 --> 01:03:02,818 ELIZA: I'm coming! 1099 01:03:02,923 --> 01:03:04,712 Yeah, it's fine. It came out. 1100 01:03:04,811 --> 01:03:07,015 AVERY: It's fine, it was just a lollipop in... 1101 01:03:07,116 --> 01:03:08,010 It's all right. 1102 01:03:08,107 --> 01:03:11,173 (Music plays) 1103 01:03:19,242 --> 01:03:21,543 What could possibly possess you 1104 01:03:21,642 --> 01:03:24,707 to give a toddler a known choking hazard? 1105 01:03:24,809 --> 01:03:28,638 Don't lecture me, Eliza. I could just as easily lecture you. 1106 01:03:28,745 --> 01:03:31,941 Really? For what? For doing all the idiotic errands? 1107 01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:34,757 For listening to mothers in the park who need to be medicated? 1108 01:03:34,856 --> 01:03:37,506 While you get to go to work with real adults 1109 01:03:37,608 --> 01:03:39,550 and have normal adult conversation. 1110 01:03:40,167 --> 01:03:41,858 Oh, yeah, like having Morris ream me out 1111 01:03:41,960 --> 01:03:43,934 because I had to leave work to take care of Lucas? 1112 01:03:44,040 --> 01:03:46,690 You mean those kind of normal, adult conversations? 1113 01:03:48,038 --> 01:03:51,453 You got an envelope at home today, by the way. 1114 01:03:51,559 --> 01:03:53,314 Some messenger guy delivered it. 1115 01:03:54,406 --> 01:03:56,958 Oh, yeah, right. 1116 01:03:57,830 --> 01:04:01,245 He... 1117 01:04:01,349 --> 01:04:03,967 He helped me carry my bags upstairs, 1118 01:04:04,069 --> 01:04:06,272 and so I let him come in for a while. 1119 01:04:06,373 --> 01:04:07,136 You what? 1120 01:04:07,236 --> 01:04:09,985 I let him come in, and he blew up balloons. 1121 01:04:12,484 --> 01:04:15,004 You let a messenger come into our apartment 1122 01:04:15,108 --> 01:04:17,475 and decorate for our daughter's birthday? 1123 01:04:18,340 --> 01:04:22,049 His name was Mikes, and he was just being nice. 1124 01:04:25,122 --> 01:04:27,642 He looked at me like I was a person 1125 01:04:27,747 --> 01:04:31,456 who might still have something worthwhile to say. 1126 01:04:32,738 --> 01:04:35,487 I always tell you that you have something worthwhile to say. 1127 01:04:35,585 --> 01:04:36,632 You... 1128 01:04:36,738 --> 01:04:39,552 You need a stranger to tell you that? 1129 01:04:39,649 --> 01:04:42,583 Was he good-looking or...? 1130 01:04:45,985 --> 01:04:50,806 He looked at me like I might still be somebody worth looking at. 1131 01:04:53,439 --> 01:04:58,108 How could you not know that you're worth looking at? 1132 01:05:04,702 --> 01:05:07,484 Were you attracted to him? 1133 01:05:08,446 --> 01:05:11,861 Were you? 1134 01:05:11,965 --> 01:05:17,300 It's just that you never look at me that way anymore, Avery. 1135 01:05:20,604 --> 01:05:22,098 Do you look at me that way? 1136 01:05:23,836 --> 01:05:26,257 No, not really. Not enough. 1137 01:05:32,635 --> 01:05:37,391 But I still love you, Avery. I really love you, but... 1138 01:05:37,499 --> 01:05:38,229 But what? 1139 01:05:41,242 --> 01:05:43,511 It's just that 1140 01:05:44,601 --> 01:05:50,765 every day from the second I wake up till the second I pass out cold, 1141 01:05:50,873 --> 01:05:53,589 my day, like the day of almost every other mother I know, 1142 01:05:53,688 --> 01:05:59,471 is made up of a series of concrete, specific actions. 1143 01:06:00,248 --> 01:06:02,768 And they're actions that kind of 1144 01:06:02,872 --> 01:06:05,457 wear away at passion, if you know what I mean. 1145 01:06:07,639 --> 01:06:09,842 The actions are petty and small like... 1146 01:06:09,943 --> 01:06:15,180 Like refilling coffee cups or folding underwear. 1147 01:06:15,286 --> 01:06:20,468 But they accumulate in this really debilitating way 1148 01:06:20,565 --> 01:06:24,459 that diminishes my ability to focus on almost anything else. 1149 01:06:25,685 --> 01:06:30,092 Bigger things like, you know, ideas or... 1150 01:06:30,197 --> 01:06:36,972 ...politics or dreams of a better life. 1151 01:06:37,076 --> 01:06:38,734 Well, what would be a better life? 1152 01:06:43,955 --> 01:06:45,416 It wasn't always my ambition 1153 01:06:45,522 --> 01:06:51,239 to supervise a team of fatuous liberal arts graduates 1154 01:06:51,346 --> 01:06:53,834 and edit their copy about travelling 1155 01:06:53,938 --> 01:06:56,785 to places that we can't afford to visit. 1156 01:06:58,353 --> 01:06:59,760 When we had Clara, 1157 01:06:59,858 --> 01:07:06,022 I got a job with healthcare and a little bit of flexibility. 1158 01:07:06,129 --> 01:07:10,319 It was a decision that we made. We made the decision together. 1159 01:07:11,056 --> 01:07:13,838 So I got a job that I can tolerate. 1160 01:07:13,936 --> 01:07:17,797 No more, no less. 1161 01:07:20,303 --> 01:07:24,907 You're not the only one who's made sacrifices, Eliza. 1162 01:07:25,007 --> 01:07:28,105 Well, that still doesn't explain why you can't pick up your socks. 1163 01:07:28,206 --> 01:07:30,061 What do my socks have to do with it? 1164 01:07:30,158 --> 01:07:32,547 Your socks have everything to do with it! 1165 01:07:32,653 --> 01:07:34,627 (Eliza cries) 1166 01:07:36,525 --> 01:07:42,602 Eliza, all I wanted you to do in that piece 1167 01:07:42,701 --> 01:07:49,989 was to stop hiding behind irony because it comes so easily to you. 1168 01:07:52,427 --> 01:07:56,933 I want to know what you really think. 1169 01:07:57,035 --> 01:07:59,009 I want to know what you really feel. 1170 01:08:00,906 --> 01:08:07,365 What makes you want to live a life with passion, 1171 01:08:07,465 --> 01:08:11,458 no matter how many socks you have to pick up. 1172 01:08:15,529 --> 01:08:16,456 What about that? 1173 01:08:19,400 --> 01:08:21,156 (Children laughing and playing) 1174 01:08:21,256 --> 01:08:23,906 (Elizabeth Mitchell's "Jubilee" plays) 1175 01:08:43,845 --> 01:08:44,958 AVERY: Come on, Coupon. 1176 01:08:45,061 --> 01:08:47,363 Come on, get out. 1177 01:08:47,461 --> 01:08:48,836 Oh... 1178 01:08:48,933 --> 01:08:50,493 Does Coupon have to be out here? 1179 01:08:50,597 --> 01:08:54,819 Ah, no, but Bodhi just tripped over him. 1180 01:08:54,916 --> 01:08:57,152 Oh, is that Bodhi crying? 1181 01:08:57,252 --> 01:08:58,594 Yeah, it is. 1182 01:08:58,691 --> 01:09:00,546 Is Lily crying back in his face? 1183 01:09:00,644 --> 01:09:02,945 Unfortunately, yes. 1184 01:09:03,971 --> 01:09:05,564 Oh... 1185 01:09:05,667 --> 01:09:07,576 Did Sheila come back? 1186 01:09:07,682 --> 01:09:08,795 Not yet. 1187 01:09:10,243 --> 01:09:12,152 Don't worry. 1188 01:09:14,370 --> 01:09:15,450 You were right, you know? 1189 01:09:15,554 --> 01:09:16,961 Unbelievable. 1190 01:09:17,058 --> 01:09:17,985 About what? 1191 01:09:19,042 --> 01:09:20,536 About this. 1192 01:09:21,249 --> 01:09:22,907 But I think I figured it out. 1193 01:09:23,009 --> 01:09:24,121 I just need a little more time to... 1194 01:09:24,225 --> 01:09:26,047 A couple more minutes, and I'll be done. 1195 01:09:28,641 --> 01:09:31,062 Everything's under control in here. 1196 01:09:37,728 --> 01:09:41,917 Okay, and... 1197 01:09:42,943 --> 01:09:45,245 Mom, everybody wants cake now. 1198 01:09:45,343 --> 01:09:46,619 And there has to be six purple candles 1199 01:09:46,719 --> 01:09:48,442 and one number six candle. 1200 01:09:48,543 --> 01:09:50,997 Okay. 1201 01:09:51,390 --> 01:09:51,891 Come here. 1202 01:09:53,917 --> 01:09:54,583 What are you writing? 1203 01:09:54,685 --> 01:09:55,547 Ooh! 1204 01:09:55,645 --> 01:09:57,467 Oh... 1205 01:09:57,565 --> 01:09:59,321 Just this thing. 1206 01:09:59,421 --> 01:10:02,454 It has to be done by midnight. It's kind of important. 1207 01:10:02,556 --> 01:10:05,207 It means mommy might get a real job. 1208 01:10:05,309 --> 01:10:07,697 But I don't want you to get a real job. 1209 01:10:07,804 --> 01:10:11,000 Why not? It's good when mommies work. 1210 01:10:11,100 --> 01:10:12,528 It keeps mommies happy. 1211 01:10:12,636 --> 01:10:16,312 It keeps them from being mean, nasty, yelling mommies. 1212 01:10:16,411 --> 01:10:19,640 What about daddies? Should daddies not work, too? 1213 01:10:19,739 --> 01:10:22,226 Why moms and not dads, hmm? 1214 01:10:22,331 --> 01:10:23,825 Enlighten me. 1215 01:10:23,930 --> 01:10:28,272 'Cause moms do everything. Dads only do some things. 1216 01:10:28,378 --> 01:10:29,425 It's different. 1217 01:10:29,529 --> 01:10:30,063 (Cat meows) 1218 01:10:30,170 --> 01:10:31,795 Oh, hi, Lady. 1219 01:10:34,265 --> 01:10:35,792 (Cat continues meowing) 1220 01:10:35,897 --> 01:10:38,547 Mom, for my seventh birthday, can I get a cat? 1221 01:10:38,649 --> 01:10:39,990 Mm... 1222 01:10:40,088 --> 01:10:41,332 Mom, can I? 1223 01:10:41,432 --> 01:10:45,393 EDITH: Lady? Lady, where are you? 1224 01:10:45,495 --> 01:10:46,291 Mom? 1225 01:10:46,392 --> 01:10:50,799 "Maybe" is the best I can do, okay? 1226 01:10:50,967 --> 01:10:54,480 ELIZA: No peeking! 1227 01:10:56,183 --> 01:10:58,354 Here it comes! 1228 01:10:58,455 --> 01:11:01,324 (Children giggle) 1229 01:11:04,982 --> 01:11:09,259 (All sing "Happy Birthday," cha-cha-cha version, to Clara) 1230 01:11:27,987 --> 01:11:29,645 ALL, CHANTING: Are ya 1? 1231 01:11:29,746 --> 01:11:30,859 Are ya 2? 1232 01:11:30,962 --> 01:11:32,336 Are ya 3? 1233 01:11:32,434 --> 01:11:34,190 Are ya 4? 1234 01:11:34,291 --> 01:11:35,567 Are ya 5? 1235 01:11:35,666 --> 01:11:37,673 Noooooooo! 1236 01:11:37,778 --> 01:11:39,436 You're 6! 1237 01:11:39,538 --> 01:11:41,163 You're 6! 1238 01:11:41,265 --> 01:11:44,232 ("Georgia Porgies" plays) 1239 01:11:50,416 --> 01:11:54,158 (Kids chant "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star") 1240 01:11:54,256 --> 01:11:56,808 (Song and chant continue simultaneously) 1241 01:11:59,663 --> 01:12:01,256 AVERY: Squeeze her again! 1242 01:12:02,063 --> 01:12:05,412 (Pipes clang) 1243 01:12:05,518 --> 01:12:09,741 Oh, come on, you moron! It's not even 7:00! 1244 01:12:09,838 --> 01:12:12,740 It's a little girl's birthday party! 1245 01:12:12,846 --> 01:12:17,253 Clara, Clara, can you turn it down just a little? 1246 01:12:18,765 --> 01:12:21,667 The parties we used to have in this building, dear. 1247 01:12:21,773 --> 01:12:23,562 I can't tell you. 1248 01:12:23,661 --> 01:12:29,028 Everyone would drink gin and smoke reefer 1249 01:12:29,132 --> 01:12:34,533 and dance and talk until dawn. 1250 01:12:34,636 --> 01:12:36,523 We used to argue a lot, too. 1251 01:12:36,620 --> 01:12:38,888 This was a very political crowd, 1252 01:12:38,987 --> 01:12:43,624 very serious about their positions, don't you know. 1253 01:12:43,722 --> 01:12:47,366 No one would have dreamed of complaining then. 1254 01:12:51,593 --> 01:12:53,600 Clara, crank it up! 1255 01:12:53,706 --> 01:12:54,338 (Volume rises) 1256 01:12:54,441 --> 01:12:55,903 Come on, everybody, let's jump! 1257 01:12:56,009 --> 01:12:58,660 Jump as hard as you can! Jump up and down! 1258 01:12:58,761 --> 01:13:00,322 Jump, jump, jump! 1259 01:13:00,425 --> 01:13:02,465 (The children scream) 1260 01:13:02,568 --> 01:13:04,095 Come on, everybody, let's go! 1261 01:13:09,608 --> 01:13:12,706 (Water pours) 1262 01:13:14,215 --> 01:13:15,808 So your party's a big success. 1263 01:13:18,886 --> 01:13:22,464 Well, until someone starts bleeding, I'd have to agree. 1264 01:13:25,094 --> 01:13:27,395 Sheila, I just... 1265 01:13:30,182 --> 01:13:32,637 I am so incredibly sorry I hurt you. 1266 01:13:34,469 --> 01:13:37,502 Look, I do remember uttering the distinct phrase, 1267 01:13:37,605 --> 01:13:39,034 "This does not leave this room." 1268 01:13:40,676 --> 01:13:44,156 And by that I meant, "Do not use this episode for your own ends." 1269 01:13:48,516 --> 01:13:50,076 Be that as it may, 1270 01:13:50,179 --> 01:13:51,586 we always promised that we'd tell each other 1271 01:13:51,683 --> 01:13:55,130 the minute we got pissed off, and that's just what I did. 1272 01:13:57,218 --> 01:13:59,803 All right, steady on, steady on. Hair on the lip gloss. 1273 01:13:59,906 --> 01:14:01,793 I was just telling you when I was pissed off 1274 01:14:01,890 --> 01:14:03,897 when it actually happened. 1275 01:14:04,001 --> 01:14:05,889 I know. 1276 01:14:05,985 --> 01:14:09,727 You were just so funny about it, you know? 1277 01:14:09,825 --> 01:14:11,897 I just... 1278 01:14:12,001 --> 01:14:13,408 I didn't think. 1279 01:14:13,504 --> 01:14:17,727 Oh, but you always have to think, Eliza. 1280 01:14:17,824 --> 01:14:20,442 Oh, bloody hell. 1281 01:14:20,544 --> 01:14:22,518 My midwife told me if I carry on eating sugar 1282 01:14:22,624 --> 01:14:23,736 all through my third trimester, 1283 01:14:23,840 --> 01:14:27,188 I'm going to give birth to a 10-pound behemoth, maybe 12. 1284 01:14:27,295 --> 01:14:30,328 That would be extremely uncomfortable to push out vaginally. 1285 01:14:30,431 --> 01:14:31,892 Don't say "vaginally." 1286 01:14:31,998 --> 01:14:34,616 (They laugh) 1287 01:14:43,933 --> 01:14:49,399 You did a stupendous job pulling everything together today. 1288 01:14:49,501 --> 01:14:51,988 I did, didn't I? 1289 01:14:53,532 --> 01:14:54,874 I hope you don't mind, 1290 01:14:54,972 --> 01:14:58,419 'cause I know how you feel about these things, but... 1291 01:14:58,523 --> 01:15:03,312 I did get Clara the purple iPod shuffle that she wanted. 1292 01:15:03,419 --> 01:15:05,491 You did? 1293 01:15:05,595 --> 01:15:08,594 That's kind of an expensive present for a 6-year-old. 1294 01:15:08,699 --> 01:15:12,473 I mean, it's not really in our economy, is it? 1295 01:15:12,570 --> 01:15:14,163 It's in our economy today. 1296 01:15:16,218 --> 01:15:18,803 The envelope, came with the messenger. 1297 01:15:18,906 --> 01:15:21,720 Your friend, Mikes? 1298 01:15:23,256 --> 01:15:24,718 You didn't open it, did you? 1299 01:15:25,752 --> 01:15:27,956 It was addressed to you. 1300 01:15:43,351 --> 01:15:46,547 This is a check for 24,000 dollars, Avery. 1301 01:15:50,966 --> 01:15:52,275 What did you do? 1302 01:15:54,933 --> 01:15:56,972 You know those books that were being thrown out today? 1303 01:15:58,932 --> 01:16:03,340 One of them happened to be a copy of Emerson's essays. 1304 01:16:03,444 --> 01:16:08,495 A first edition, which as you know, is incredibly rare. 1305 01:16:08,596 --> 01:16:12,850 And this first edition also happened to be inscribed, 1306 01:16:12,947 --> 01:16:15,086 which significantly upped the value, 1307 01:16:15,187 --> 01:16:19,976 so I took it to Odyssey, and I sold it. 1308 01:16:21,938 --> 01:16:24,174 But you love Emerson. 1309 01:16:24,274 --> 01:16:26,216 You love that book! 1310 01:16:27,377 --> 01:16:29,003 You didn't want to keep it? 1311 01:16:29,105 --> 01:16:31,952 Yeah, of course I wanted to keep it. 1312 01:16:33,584 --> 01:16:35,886 I even had a messenger over the check. 1313 01:16:35,985 --> 01:16:38,952 Seemed kind of classy. 1314 01:16:41,488 --> 01:16:46,703 I figured it's probably enough to pay for Lucas' preschool 1315 01:16:46,799 --> 01:16:47,944 for a couple of years. 1316 01:16:49,807 --> 01:16:52,490 And maybe even a dishwasher. 1317 01:16:53,390 --> 01:16:58,124 Because I want you to take some time and write. 1318 01:16:58,798 --> 01:17:05,059 Your "mom-oar," whatever the hell you call it, or something else. 1319 01:17:05,421 --> 01:17:14,247 This is... This is for you, because you... 1320 01:17:20,236 --> 01:17:21,446 Oh, Avery! 1321 01:17:21,547 --> 01:17:24,995 (Soft music plays) 1322 01:17:48,808 --> 01:17:52,386 Wait, put this somewhere safe. 1323 01:17:52,488 --> 01:17:55,106 I'll do it. 1324 01:18:06,471 --> 01:18:10,627 ELIZA: Motherhood is about accepting the limitations of time and energy, 1325 01:18:10,726 --> 01:18:12,253 which stretch beyond you, 1326 01:18:12,357 --> 01:18:15,586 even if sometimes it feels they could consume you. 1327 01:18:15,685 --> 01:18:19,613 Search for and hold on to your own true self. 1328 01:18:19,717 --> 01:18:22,652 If you lose that, what kind of mother can you be? 1329 01:18:23,620 --> 01:18:24,994 Things are always changing, 1330 01:18:25,092 --> 01:18:29,499 no matter how much we might want things to stay the same. 1331 01:18:29,604 --> 01:18:31,775 You could take a picture of your kids every single day, 1332 01:18:31,876 --> 01:18:36,545 and every single day, they'd just be getting older. 1333 01:18:37,315 --> 01:18:38,809 That's a fact. 1334 01:18:38,915 --> 01:18:41,370 A heartbreaking fact. 1335 01:18:41,474 --> 01:18:43,296 But still a fact. 1336 01:18:43,394 --> 01:18:47,006 So seize your days and dwell in them fully. 1337 01:18:47,105 --> 01:18:48,152 Look to your children 1338 01:18:48,258 --> 01:18:50,778 because they know how to inhabit brief periods of time 1339 01:18:50,882 --> 01:18:53,216 with extreme passion. 1340 01:18:53,313 --> 01:18:57,437 And for nothing more, really, than the sake of those moments. 1341 01:18:57,537 --> 01:19:03,003 They can help you remember that, if you only slow down and let them. 1342 01:19:07,935 --> 01:19:14,045 Feel fortunate because chances are good you actually might be. 1343 01:19:22,110 --> 01:19:25,012 Mommy, mommy, mommy, it's raining outside! Come quick! 1344 01:19:26,046 --> 01:19:27,736 All right. 1345 01:19:30,269 --> 01:19:32,057 Come on! 1346 01:19:32,925 --> 01:19:36,503 - LUCAS: It's raining outside! - ELIZA: It is? 1347 01:19:36,605 --> 01:19:38,197 - CLARA: It's raining! - ELIZA: Wow! 1348 01:19:38,300 --> 01:19:40,918 Lucas, go get daddy! Go get daddy! 1349 01:19:41,019 --> 01:19:44,565 Here, sweetie, come on. 1350 01:19:44,667 --> 01:19:47,983 It's special movie rain... for your birthday. 1351 01:19:48,091 --> 01:19:49,913 (Rainfall) 1352 01:19:50,010 --> 01:19:51,439 (Eliza laughs) 1353 01:19:51,547 --> 01:19:52,626 Wow! 1354 01:19:52,730 --> 01:19:53,199 (Loud splash) 1355 01:19:53,306 --> 01:19:58,095 MAN: Whoa! Oh, my God, it's piss! 1356 01:19:58,202 --> 01:19:59,095 (They laugh) 1357 01:19:59,194 --> 01:20:00,121 Come out of here! 1358 01:20:00,217 --> 01:20:02,967 HESTER: Don't say I didn't warn ya! 1359 01:20:03,065 --> 01:20:03,894 ELIZA: Go, Hester! 1360 01:20:03,994 --> 01:20:05,455 WOMAN: Sound speed! 1361 01:20:05,561 --> 01:20:06,455 MAN #2: Speeding. 1362 01:20:06,553 --> 01:20:08,113 MAN #3: And, action! 1363 01:20:10,488 --> 01:20:11,765 Come here! 1364 01:20:11,864 --> 01:20:14,766 AVERY: Whoa! 1365 01:20:14,872 --> 01:20:16,333 Look at the movie down there! 1366 01:20:16,440 --> 01:20:18,065 Can you see it? 1367 01:20:18,168 --> 01:20:20,720 CLARA: I'm soaked! 1368 01:20:20,721 --> 01:20:24,461 (Music plays) 94865