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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,470 --> 00:00:03,949 They say technology is the simpletons tipple of choice... 2 00:00:03,950 --> 00:00:07,245 ...and Martin Moone was about to get tech tipsy for the first time. 3 00:00:08,963 --> 00:00:12,213 to journey into, the Megaworld. 4 00:00:15,023 --> 00:00:18,037 The most advanced video game system in the universe. 5 00:00:19,305 --> 00:00:20,751 Mega Drive! 6 00:00:21,196 --> 00:00:26,019 That, is the single greatest thing my little eyes have ever witnessed. 7 00:00:26,451 --> 00:00:28,117 You're always saying that. 8 00:00:30,434 --> 00:00:34,316 That, is the single greatest thing my little eyes have ever witnessed. 9 00:00:34,416 --> 00:00:35,569 Spanner. 10 00:00:36,091 --> 00:00:38,657 Imagine what it could do if we didn't live in a bungalow. 11 00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:44,435 I meant it then, and I mean it now. 12 00:00:44,436 --> 00:00:47,788 I got to get me one of those magic machines. 13 00:00:47,789 --> 00:00:50,889 - Good morning my darling mother. - Not a chance. 14 00:00:52,843 --> 00:00:55,706 - Hey there handsome man. - How much is it? 15 00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:58,963 Can you put a price on the happiness of your only son? 16 00:00:59,063 --> 00:01:00,681 Four pounds? Is it more than four pounds? 17 00:01:00,781 --> 00:01:02,469 Dad, everyone is going to get one. 18 00:01:02,569 --> 00:01:06,898 That's what they said about hovercrafts and star pants, 19 00:01:06,899 --> 00:01:09,642 and where are they now? Mark my words Martin... 20 00:01:09,643 --> 00:01:11,775 this whole computer thing is just a fad. 21 00:01:11,875 --> 00:01:13,245 - Star pants? - Look, 22 00:01:13,345 --> 00:01:16,177 When I was young, I was happy to play with a wheel and a stick. 23 00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:18,700 That was only exciting because they had just invented the wheel. 24 00:01:19,528 --> 00:01:22,953 For the record, I would never ridicule your silly old stories. 25 00:01:23,053 --> 00:01:26,783 Look Martin, we just can't afford any new spangled stuff at the moment. 26 00:01:26,883 --> 00:01:29,429 Things are a bit slow at work and, 27 00:01:29,559 --> 00:01:33,707 - Ahh jezus, now me scrambled eggs are burnt! - I told you to use the microwave. 28 00:01:33,807 --> 00:01:36,608 Microwaves! Meka Drives! Who are we? 29 00:01:36,609 --> 00:01:39,058 The Moones or the bloody Jetsons? 30 00:01:41,323 --> 00:01:44,527 Now that, is the single greatest thing you little eyes have ever witnessed. 31 00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:53,870 ♪ Dancing at the disco, bumper to bumper 32 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,477 ♪ Wait a minute, where's me jumper? 33 00:01:56,748 --> 00:01:57,619 ♪ Where's me jumper? 34 00:01:57,619 --> 00:01:59,491 ♪ Where's me jumper? 35 00:01:59,610 --> 00:02:00,762 ♪ Where's me jumper? 36 00:02:01,011 --> 00:02:03,348 ♪ Where's me jumper? Oh, no ♪ 37 00:02:05,686 --> 00:02:07,469 Oh Balls! 38 00:02:08,590 --> 00:02:11,849 How many times? You can't beat an imaginary Conker buddy. 39 00:02:11,949 --> 00:02:13,000 We'll see about that. 40 00:02:15,313 --> 00:02:16,416 Spanner. 41 00:02:16,516 --> 00:02:18,450 Ahh Conkers, the poor man's Disney World. 42 00:02:18,550 --> 00:02:20,905 I wonder if the Sega Mega Drive has a Conkers game. 43 00:02:21,005 --> 00:02:23,589 Well, if it doesn't you can just hit yourself with the controllers. 44 00:02:24,236 --> 00:02:25,957 - Hey, what's that? - Where? 45 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,112 - Oh, Feck! - Oh, I see what you've done. 46 00:02:29,324 --> 00:02:31,734 That's a very fancy car for Boyle. 47 00:02:32,070 --> 00:02:34,321 Oh Yeah. Rich feckin golf clubbers. 48 00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:38,619 More cash, mirror and mahogany up there than you can shake a silver stick at. 49 00:02:39,264 --> 00:02:40,804 Rich you say? 50 00:02:40,904 --> 00:02:43,554 Richer than B.A. Baracus' brandy butter. 51 00:02:44,344 --> 00:02:46,247 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 52 00:02:47,348 --> 00:02:49,894 - Do you know how this works? - Not a clue. 53 00:02:51,270 --> 00:02:54,067 - 29, 30... - Not the teeth. 54 00:02:54,167 --> 00:02:55,238 What the hell are you doing? 55 00:02:55,338 --> 00:02:58,075 We're taking turns sitting on each other to see who'll pass out first. 56 00:02:58,852 --> 00:03:01,553 Is this how you want to spend your sunny Saturdays? 57 00:03:01,554 --> 00:03:03,905 Sitting on each other? Why aren't you outside... 58 00:03:03,906 --> 00:03:05,709 ...playing hide and seek or something? 59 00:03:05,809 --> 00:03:08,624 Hide and seek? I'm 16 Dad. 60 00:03:09,596 --> 00:03:11,882 - I'll get it. - 33, 34... 61 00:03:13,465 --> 00:03:15,223 Debra O'Connor. 62 00:03:15,911 --> 00:03:17,162 Hi Kevin. 63 00:03:17,262 --> 00:03:19,708 Oh, I said O'Connor didn't I, which isn't right is it? 64 00:03:19,709 --> 00:03:22,193 - That's your maiden name, isn't it? - That's right Kevin. 65 00:03:22,552 --> 00:03:24,436 Mmm, but that's how I know you best. 66 00:03:26,056 --> 00:03:30,053 Is Liam in? Seems the old mortgage check bounced again. 67 00:03:30,153 --> 00:03:34,031 - Really? That's funny. - Not funny Ha ha though, is it? 68 00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:38,445 No. And, I think Liam said he is going out on a job I'm afraid. 69 00:03:38,735 --> 00:03:41,322 That's odd. His old battered car is here. 70 00:03:42,171 --> 00:03:45,018 Maybe I should come in and have a little nosey around. 71 00:03:45,118 --> 00:03:47,593 No, that's fine. Sure I'll...I'll double check. 72 00:03:48,162 --> 00:03:49,473 - 45, 46... - 45, 46... 73 00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:50,706 Liam! 74 00:03:50,806 --> 00:03:53,805 - Don't think I can take another body, Debs. - The bank manager's outside. 75 00:03:54,088 --> 00:03:54,946 Jezus! 76 00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:57,531 - Ok, don't panic. - It's the fourth time this year. 77 00:04:01,129 --> 00:04:04,560 You see? This would've been a brilliant time to know a good hiding place. 78 00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:09,771 Do you know what we're starting to call you down at the branch Liam? 79 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,598 - Mr. Moone? - The rubber bandit. Do you know why? 80 00:04:13,881 --> 00:04:16,313 - Because my checks... - We're calling you the rubber bandit... 81 00:04:16,413 --> 00:04:18,346 ...because your checks keep bouncing Liam. 82 00:04:19,871 --> 00:04:23,414 Right, I'll I'll have it in to you tomorrow, Wednesday by the latest. 83 00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:24,959 The very latest, Liam. 84 00:04:25,115 --> 00:04:27,193 Marvelous. Alright. 85 00:04:27,194 --> 00:04:31,119 Tell Miss O'Connor I said, farewell. 86 00:04:33,322 --> 00:04:38,104 Yeah, I'll pass that on to Mrs. Moone. Mrs. Liam Moone. 87 00:04:38,921 --> 00:04:40,421 Oh, look at 'em Martin. 88 00:04:40,422 --> 00:04:43,877 With the toffee ears, and the big silver spoons in their noses. 89 00:04:43,878 --> 00:04:46,909 I can smell the fake fancy faux leather a mile off. 90 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,364 That's money stink. 91 00:04:48,464 --> 00:04:49,860 Oh, look at this fella. 92 00:04:50,476 --> 00:04:54,869 I bet it was pheasant for breakfast, and peasants for dinner with that flute. 93 00:04:54,969 --> 00:04:56,632 He probably had a light lunch as well. 94 00:04:56,676 --> 00:04:58,396 Here you go. OK. 95 00:04:58,396 --> 00:05:00,898 You're Michael J. Fox in the Secret of My Success. 96 00:05:01,318 --> 00:05:02,725 Can I help you? 97 00:05:02,825 --> 00:05:05,422 Good day young man. I'm here for the employment. 98 00:05:06,093 --> 00:05:08,159 What was... Have you seen the film? 99 00:05:08,944 --> 00:05:13,798 So, what previous employment have you had Mr. Jetson? 100 00:05:15,297 --> 00:05:19,459 Paint stirring, dish drying... 101 00:05:21,052 --> 00:05:23,343 - Architect. - Architect. Right. 102 00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:25,789 - Architect. - So what do you see yourself doing... 103 00:05:25,789 --> 00:05:26,381 ...here? 104 00:05:28,399 --> 00:05:30,700 - Bunker boy? - Yeah. 105 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,215 Golf stick maker? 106 00:05:32,494 --> 00:05:34,301 - Brolly dolly? - Brolly dolly. 107 00:05:35,151 --> 00:05:38,107 Tell you what, you go get some lost balls we... 108 00:05:38,108 --> 00:05:40,855 ...give you a few quid for them. Huh, how bout that, huh? 109 00:05:42,797 --> 00:05:43,915 Yep. 110 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:47,386 We have ourselves a deal, Sir. 111 00:05:48,454 --> 00:05:51,125 Just sit down. Just sit down. 112 00:05:56,846 --> 00:05:59,510 Martin soon discovered the life of the working man... 113 00:05:59,511 --> 00:06:01,254 ...was far easier than he could ever have imagined. 114 00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:05,460 Turns out that golf courses are a virtual magnet for golf balls. 115 00:06:13,246 --> 00:06:15,745 I just know there's a golf ball here somewhere. 116 00:06:15,845 --> 00:06:18,447 Yeah, keep diggin buddy. Follow your ball nose. 117 00:06:21,907 --> 00:06:23,319 Hey, Padraic? 118 00:06:23,652 --> 00:06:27,210 What are you doing here? I thought Golf was really expensive. 119 00:06:27,310 --> 00:06:29,222 Oh, it is. But I have a specialty. 120 00:06:29,302 --> 00:06:32,425 - Oh, and what's that? - I just don't tell them I'm here. 121 00:06:36,074 --> 00:06:39,928 Four! Wait, back to the woods. 122 00:06:46,621 --> 00:06:49,381 - Where'd you get the cash Martin? - Oh, I'm a working man now Dad. 123 00:06:49,481 --> 00:06:51,483 Work? What kind of work? 124 00:06:51,583 --> 00:06:55,465 Ball hunting, ball gathering, I'm a golf ball ball boy. 125 00:06:55,565 --> 00:06:58,978 Golf? Sure, that's not a real sport. 126 00:06:59,042 --> 00:07:02,189 Ah, here we go. Another bloody hand ball tournament. 127 00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:04,567 It's the one true test of a man. 128 00:07:05,799 --> 00:07:07,643 Do you keep that in your pocket? 129 00:07:07,743 --> 00:07:11,581 Handball? But I thought that was just a foul. 130 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:13,552 Not a hand ball. 131 00:07:14,381 --> 00:07:16,098 Handball. 132 00:07:17,954 --> 00:07:20,587 What is this? Are we playing it now? 133 00:07:20,665 --> 00:07:24,854 No. You play it in a concrete court. Like a Thunderdome. 134 00:07:24,957 --> 00:07:27,957 - Or a squash court. - Yeah, it's like squash... 135 00:07:27,962 --> 00:07:30,318 ...except without those pansy racquets. 136 00:07:30,683 --> 00:07:34,335 It's kinda like a, a bare knuckle squash. 137 00:07:34,435 --> 00:07:38,240 So, like squash for travelers? 138 00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:42,736 Exactly! And I was the king of them all. 139 00:07:43,847 --> 00:07:46,421 The year was 1967. 140 00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:49,512 Twas the summer of sex, drugs, rock and roll... 141 00:07:49,513 --> 00:07:51,432 ...and handball. 142 00:07:52,679 --> 00:07:56,837 - But then a terrible... - They're gone Love, they're gone. 143 00:07:58,839 --> 00:08:02,793 I've warned you not to close your eyes when you're telling your stories. 144 00:08:03,367 --> 00:08:04,424 Yeah. 145 00:08:05,378 --> 00:08:08,625 Finally, our fun vegetable of the week is... 146 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:11,031 Oh God. 147 00:08:11,131 --> 00:08:12,114 Cabbage again? 148 00:08:12,214 --> 00:08:13,596 - Have we done cabbage? - Yes. 149 00:08:14,211 --> 00:08:19,013 Well, It is a good one. There is cabbage salad, cabbage risotto. 150 00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:21,374 Have fun with it. See what you come up with. 151 00:08:21,474 --> 00:08:23,425 - Right. Same time next week yeah? - Wait, hang on a sec. 152 00:08:23,525 --> 00:08:25,593 Actually, I've decided to increase the intensity... 153 00:08:25,594 --> 00:08:26,917 ...of the Weight Wishers schedule. 154 00:08:27,017 --> 00:08:30,762 So there's going to be another class on Wednesdays and Fridays. 155 00:08:30,862 --> 00:08:34,115 - Oh that's so kind of you Debra. - Um, No. The classes aren't free. 156 00:08:35,286 --> 00:08:39,124 Thrice in a week? Isn't that a bit excessive, Debra? 157 00:08:39,224 --> 00:08:41,396 Well, so is your waist line Gerry. 158 00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:45,879 She works hard for the money 159 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,687 so you better treat her right. 160 00:08:48,688 --> 00:08:49,688 Ball! 161 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:55,347 Tweet, tweet, tweet. 162 00:08:55,625 --> 00:08:57,796 Huzzah! Peasants for dinner! 163 00:08:57,896 --> 00:08:59,279 Ahh, right in the feathers. 164 00:08:59,298 --> 00:09:03,740 Martin! God, I'm sorry about that. 165 00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:06,575 Misjudged the yardage. 166 00:09:06,576 --> 00:09:07,744 Are you alright? 167 00:09:07,844 --> 00:09:11,428 No, I'm Martin Moone. I haven't seen alright. 168 00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:14,996 Uh, was I just hit by lightning? 169 00:09:15,185 --> 00:09:17,466 Dumb caddy gave me the wrong club. 170 00:09:17,467 --> 00:09:20,670 That's it! You and me are done professionally. Get out of here! 171 00:09:20,957 --> 00:09:24,024 - Ah Dad, please! -No Fiacra, you're fired! 172 00:09:25,522 --> 00:09:29,389 Listen ehh, lets say we keep this to ourselves, Yeah? 173 00:09:29,390 --> 00:09:31,273 Here's a few pounds. 174 00:09:31,274 --> 00:09:34,343 - Have a rest and buy you some sweets. - No time for rest. 175 00:09:34,344 --> 00:09:35,264 I'm a working man. 176 00:09:35,364 --> 00:09:37,135 Are you? It's work you want is it. 177 00:09:37,235 --> 00:09:41,008 Well I know of a caddy's position that's just opened up. If you're interested? 178 00:09:41,083 --> 00:09:43,108 I was born to be interested! 179 00:09:43,194 --> 00:09:44,845 Well I'm glad that's settled then. 180 00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:53,865 Are you alright there young stripling? You took quite the clatter on the cranium. 181 00:09:53,965 --> 00:09:55,184 Yeah I'm alright Sean. 182 00:09:55,457 --> 00:09:57,098 Splendid. To the tee. 183 00:10:10,089 --> 00:10:14,266 Ahh, It's the rubber bandit. Here to collect my new employee Liam? 184 00:10:14,651 --> 00:10:16,250 Great work today Marty. 185 00:10:16,251 --> 00:10:19,656 Good to see one of the Moones is making some money, eh Liam? 186 00:10:19,756 --> 00:10:21,037 A nice few shillings. 187 00:10:21,136 --> 00:10:23,255 Martin, come here. Your tea is ready. 188 00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:24,256 Come 'ere. 189 00:10:24,445 --> 00:10:27,014 Would you fancy a game yourself some time Liam? 190 00:10:27,815 --> 00:10:29,540 - Heh, of Golf? - Sorry. 191 00:10:29,678 --> 00:10:31,539 Do you not know how to play? 192 00:10:31,540 --> 00:10:33,908 I suppose it is a bit more complicated than handball. 193 00:10:33,979 --> 00:10:36,427 Golf is barely even a sport. 194 00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,105 I could play it in my sleep. 195 00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:40,824 I'd be dressed the right way too. In my pajamas 196 00:10:41,052 --> 00:10:43,584 Very good. Shall we say Wednesday? 197 00:10:47,416 --> 00:10:49,094 We shall. 198 00:10:52,335 --> 00:10:53,958 - Wednesday. - Wednesday. 199 00:10:55,341 --> 00:10:56,511 - Wednesday morning. - Wednesday morning. 200 00:10:56,512 --> 00:10:58,852 Can't do Wednesday morning, Wednesday afternoon. 201 00:10:59,421 --> 00:11:02,293 - This Wednesday afternoon? - Wednesday a week. 202 00:11:02,823 --> 00:11:05,357 - This Wednesday a week? - Wednesday the 16th. 203 00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:07,235 - In the afternoon? - Yes Sir. 204 00:11:10,377 --> 00:11:12,962 That Kevin's a lovely man isn't he? 205 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,610 Lovely? Are you joking? 206 00:11:15,611 --> 00:11:19,700 I'll tell you a little story about Kevin "The Leech" Leech. 207 00:11:19,973 --> 00:11:22,089 The year was 1967. 208 00:11:22,756 --> 00:11:26,043 Twas the summer of sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll and handball. 209 00:11:27,097 --> 00:11:30,115 I was the finest player in all of Boyle. 210 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,797 Leech was the second finest. 211 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,766 We were rivals. 212 00:11:34,767 --> 00:11:36,324 In more ways than one. 213 00:11:38,167 --> 00:11:39,071 YEAH! 214 00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:41,678 That's some fine handball'n lads! 215 00:11:42,841 --> 00:11:47,001 Debra soon fell for my handy charms. 216 00:11:48,355 --> 00:11:52,379 And when Leech saw us together he flew into a jealous rage. 217 00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:55,848 I challenge you to a duel! A handball duel! 218 00:11:56,297 --> 00:11:58,347 Duel excepted. 219 00:11:58,389 --> 00:12:01,485 Handball duel! Handball duel! 220 00:12:01,890 --> 00:12:03,320 HANDBALL DUEL RULES: 221 00:12:03,321 --> 00:12:05,830 RULE ONE: THROW BALL AT OTHER PERSON 222 00:12:05,951 --> 00:12:09,249 RULE TWO: ACTUALLY... THAT'S IT 223 00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:13,672 - Strike. - Bulls Eye. 224 00:12:13,772 --> 00:12:15,424 Your throw, Mr. Leech. 225 00:12:16,614 --> 00:12:20,027 But little did we know Leech had swapped the ball... 226 00:12:20,028 --> 00:12:22,656 ...for a ball shaped rock... 227 00:12:22,657 --> 00:12:24,883 ...that he'd spent three months carving from solid granite. 228 00:12:24,983 --> 00:12:26,963 Why didn't I find a smaller rock? 229 00:12:35,054 --> 00:12:36,153 Liam! 230 00:12:36,224 --> 00:12:40,290 I broke my hand in nine places, and three of my nails. 231 00:12:40,390 --> 00:12:44,471 - You're banned from handball! - Fine. I'm gonna take up golf. 232 00:12:47,092 --> 00:12:50,045 And that was the end of my handball career. 233 00:12:51,783 --> 00:12:55,365 So now, do you still think he's lovely? 234 00:12:56,740 --> 00:12:58,128 WALKED HOME! 235 00:12:59,677 --> 00:13:01,630 Bloody eyes! Open them! 236 00:13:04,092 --> 00:13:06,214 - How are ya Gerry? - Liam-meister! 237 00:13:06,314 --> 00:13:08,542 - The Mooneatic. Come 'ere twee - How are you? 238 00:13:08,616 --> 00:13:10,801 Great. My god you smell good. 239 00:13:10,936 --> 00:13:12,833 Wish I could say the same Ger. 240 00:13:12,939 --> 00:13:16,973 Yeah, it's an awful stench isn't it? The old cabbage carbonara is repeatin' on me. 241 00:13:16,986 --> 00:13:19,936 So listen, I was wondering if I could borrow your golf clubs? 242 00:13:19,937 --> 00:13:22,900 I have a bit of a match coming up and I can't really afford a set right now. 243 00:13:22,901 --> 00:13:23,901 Yeah, well... 244 00:13:23,952 --> 00:13:26,768 You know Liam, that I'd give 'em to you in a heartbeat but... 245 00:13:26,769 --> 00:13:29,151 ...my son's melted them down. 246 00:13:29,345 --> 00:13:30,953 Melted them down? 247 00:13:31,053 --> 00:13:34,336 To punish me. I changed the channel while they were watching Airwolf. 248 00:13:35,431 --> 00:13:36,926 Hold on a second now. 249 00:13:36,927 --> 00:13:40,120 They did tell me to go and play with these old kiddies clubs. 250 00:13:40,601 --> 00:13:44,333 "Go on away and play with these feckin kiddies clubs you big fat baby." They said to me. 251 00:13:45,513 --> 00:13:47,745 You know sometimes I think they don't respect me Li. 252 00:13:48,298 --> 00:13:49,747 You know what Gerry? 253 00:13:49,748 --> 00:13:53,442 They're only kiddie clubs, when they're in kiddie hands. 254 00:13:55,971 --> 00:13:58,798 Or they're a standard kiddie size, Liam. 255 00:14:01,251 --> 00:14:05,713 Wednesday Week the 16th in the afternoon 256 00:14:07,241 --> 00:14:09,890 Let's see if the rubber bandit snaps under pressure. 257 00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:11,475 This bandit is going to rub you out. 258 00:14:11,575 --> 00:14:13,052 May Golf be with you. 259 00:14:17,344 --> 00:14:20,259 Forgot about that old handball injury. 260 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:21,828 Driver please Martin. 261 00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,164 Wipe her face old chap. 262 00:14:28,024 --> 00:14:31,865 Thar she blows! Storming the greens like Normandy! 263 00:14:31,931 --> 00:14:34,946 Seriously? That's your club? 264 00:14:34,947 --> 00:14:37,687 Oh how the mighty handballer has fallen. 265 00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:45,070 You call that a driver? Looks more like a drunk driver. 266 00:14:47,490 --> 00:14:48,852 I don't even need clubs. 267 00:14:48,853 --> 00:14:52,870 I could beat you by just throwing this stupid little ball around. 268 00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:56,714 - Oh I would love to see that. - Good. Cause your going to see it. 269 00:14:56,814 --> 00:14:58,336 Well I believe it's still your shot. 270 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,521 That's not great Linda. You've only lost a 3rd of a pound. 271 00:15:21,698 --> 00:15:23,351 What? You only weighed me an hour ago. 272 00:15:23,875 --> 00:15:25,877 - It was longer than that. - Hang on, no it wasn't. 273 00:15:25,977 --> 00:15:28,682 I feel like I just got off the scales before you have me back on it again. 274 00:15:28,683 --> 00:15:30,917 Is this a Weight Wishers class or a feckin step aerobics class? 275 00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,325 She's right. It's ridiculous. 276 00:15:32,425 --> 00:15:35,463 There's no time to argue. Your next class starts in five minutes. 277 00:15:35,563 --> 00:15:36,585 Ah, Deb. 278 00:15:39,255 --> 00:15:41,012 This cult is becoming very expensive. 279 00:15:41,013 --> 00:15:43,387 This is not a cult, this is a Weight Wishers class. 280 00:15:43,703 --> 00:15:47,201 This is not a cult, it's a Weight Wishers class. 281 00:15:47,524 --> 00:15:48,706 Better. 282 00:16:13,001 --> 00:16:14,549 Good man Liam! 283 00:16:15,588 --> 00:16:18,615 - You a member here? - I'm his caddy. 284 00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:21,477 I'll take that for you Liam. 285 00:16:21,577 --> 00:16:23,006 Thank you Padraic. 286 00:16:23,106 --> 00:16:24,159 Always glad to help. 287 00:16:24,959 --> 00:16:26,349 Glove. 288 00:16:27,217 --> 00:16:28,850 What do you think, Martin? 289 00:16:28,945 --> 00:16:33,809 You've got 120 to the hole, but there's a squally wind a-blowin' west... 290 00:16:33,810 --> 00:16:37,669 ...so I'd take a pitching wedge and hit it with a lion's heart. 291 00:16:45,408 --> 00:16:46,866 What do you think Padraic? 292 00:16:47,514 --> 00:16:48,936 Just throw it. 293 00:16:49,999 --> 00:16:51,363 Yeah. 294 00:16:56,792 --> 00:16:58,091 Yes! 295 00:16:59,851 --> 00:17:01,191 Good man. 296 00:17:03,511 --> 00:17:07,698 You're two shots behind, Leech. I'd be pretty embarrassed if I were you. 297 00:17:07,699 --> 00:17:10,119 And not just because of those trousers. 298 00:17:13,786 --> 00:17:17,341 - It isn't over yet, Liam. - Isn't it, Kevin? 299 00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:22,921 - Go on Liam! 300 00:17:31,349 --> 00:17:32,803 My hand! 301 00:17:33,811 --> 00:17:37,558 Did you trip over this ball shaped rock Liam? How ironic. 302 00:17:37,595 --> 00:17:38,946 Leech. 303 00:17:41,441 --> 00:17:43,404 Actually, that is rather ironic. 304 00:17:43,405 --> 00:17:44,670 What should we do? 305 00:17:45,034 --> 00:17:46,391 Pint? 306 00:17:46,491 --> 00:17:50,036 Yeah. Let's call Gerry and all go for a nice pint. 307 00:17:51,679 --> 00:17:53,981 Feels like we're doing more and more classes... 308 00:17:53,982 --> 00:17:56,997 ...but I don't feel like we're losing any weight. 309 00:17:57,940 --> 00:18:00,627 Well, maybe if we didn't finish every class with tea and cakes? 310 00:18:04,577 --> 00:18:08,269 Come on lads, you like your cake. 311 00:18:09,006 --> 00:18:11,978 The cake means she loves us. 312 00:18:13,418 --> 00:18:16,137 Jezus, I had better really answer that hadn't I? 313 00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:18,069 No one ever called me on it before. 314 00:18:18,543 --> 00:18:20,263 Hello, Gerry Bonner. 315 00:18:21,445 --> 00:18:22,768 What? 316 00:18:23,867 --> 00:18:26,351 His hand? Liam is hurt. 317 00:18:26,789 --> 00:18:30,893 No, no, no, you read my mind. Yeah. Get me Guinness. 318 00:18:41,505 --> 00:18:43,545 - How's he doing? - Not well. 319 00:18:43,798 --> 00:18:46,635 If Leech makes this shot, it's all over. 320 00:18:47,806 --> 00:18:50,327 Gwen! This is still class. 321 00:18:51,152 --> 00:18:52,581 Ah!, Miss O'Connor. 322 00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:56,462 Nice of you to pop down to witness my triumph. 323 00:18:57,347 --> 00:18:59,077 Club please, Martin. 324 00:18:59,309 --> 00:19:03,935 No Martin, don't be a brolly dolly. Be a daddy caddy. 325 00:19:05,013 --> 00:19:06,802 This'n will bring it home safely, son. 326 00:19:08,749 --> 00:19:11,581 Martin, that is not the club I selected. 327 00:19:13,465 --> 00:19:15,474 Why are you not following our protocol? 328 00:19:19,166 --> 00:19:21,479 Oh. He's overhit that one, the big eedjit. 329 00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:26,081 That was no accident. 330 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:28,963 That's it! You and me are done professionally! 331 00:19:34,621 --> 00:19:36,122 We're gonna win this. 332 00:19:41,069 --> 00:19:43,886 - He has to make this in one. - Come on, Dad! 333 00:19:45,391 --> 00:19:46,700 You're not going to lose, are you? 334 00:19:46,701 --> 00:19:49,318 I thought I married the finest handballer in all of Boyle. 335 00:19:52,555 --> 00:19:54,904 That's it! Shift my mother. 336 00:19:57,615 --> 00:19:58,925 Jezus. 337 00:20:02,628 --> 00:20:04,522 It's up to you now hand. 338 00:20:35,073 --> 00:20:36,642 Loser! 339 00:20:38,290 --> 00:20:41,006 - I think this is our chance. Let's escape. - Where? 340 00:20:41,106 --> 00:20:42,988 Follow me, Chubby Club! 341 00:20:45,998 --> 00:20:50,111 43, 44, 45, 46. 342 00:20:50,193 --> 00:20:52,084 I think he's actually passed out. 343 00:20:52,356 --> 00:20:53,790 Does that mean he's won? 344 00:20:54,466 --> 00:20:56,378 Why didn't you put money on it? 345 00:20:56,478 --> 00:20:57,812 Because it's not about money, Deb. 346 00:20:57,912 --> 00:21:00,271 You could've bet the mortgage payment or something. 347 00:21:00,371 --> 00:21:03,120 No, You just don't get it. It's about pride! 348 00:21:03,121 --> 00:21:06,516 I beat him. I beat The Leech. I'm better than him. 349 00:21:07,838 --> 00:21:10,178 Liam, you still owe us that mortgage payment! 350 00:21:10,180 --> 00:21:11,033 Oh Jezus! 351 00:21:11,639 --> 00:21:15,154 Right. Hide! Everyone hide, hide quickly! 352 00:21:15,332 --> 00:21:16,442 The curtains! 353 00:21:20,377 --> 00:21:21,764 You alright there buddy? 354 00:21:21,852 --> 00:21:24,217 Yeah Sean. I think so. 355 00:21:24,344 --> 00:21:26,281 Have you got enough money for that computer thing yet? 356 00:21:26,604 --> 00:21:28,346 What are computers? 357 00:21:29,239 --> 00:21:30,795 Oh Balls. 358 00:21:35,674 --> 00:21:38,105 Liam, I think he can see us. 359 00:21:42,290 --> 00:21:43,574 Yeah, I know. 360 00:21:50,038 --> 00:21:54,108 That is the single greatest thing my little eyes have ever witnessed. 361 00:21:54,109 --> 00:21:59,232 Transcribed and synced by Cosa 28194

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