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1
00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:36,864
[Applause]
2
00:00:43,076 --> 00:00:44,510
Now!
3
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:49,209
What's the matter with you?
Looking for trouble again?
4
00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:51,661
Oh, no, I want to tell you, Abbott,
I never felt this good in my life.
5
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:54,348
I feel really wonderful,
boy. I feel shipshape.
6
00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:55,319
Oh, you do, eh?
7
00:00:55,422 --> 00:00:56,666
How do you like
that shadowboxing?
8
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:57,749
- Shadowboxing?
- Yeah.
9
00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,102
What do you know
about shadowboxing?
10
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,904
- I'm boxing my shadow.
- Oh, why don't you stop that?
11
00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:02,472
Why, did you want me
to fight somebody else?
12
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:04,173
I'd rather box my shadow.
It ain't going to hurt me.
13
00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:05,408
It ain't going to hit
me back, anyway.
14
00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:06,976
- Look, come with me.
- Hey, wait a minute.
15
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:07,763
[Laughs]
16
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,546
- What's the matter?
- I think I like this.
17
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:10,780
- This is a cute one.
- What is?
18
00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:11,863
Make a fist.
19
00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:13,565
- Put it under here.
- Yeah.
20
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:24,348
Always bumping into me!
21
00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:25,612
Oh, come on. What is this?
22
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:27,277
Ohh!
23
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:35,321
Ohh!
24
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,558
You bumped into me!
I didn't bump into you!
25
00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:42,768
All right, why don't
you two stop...
26
00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:45,703
- He started it! He started it!
- All right, stop it, stop it, stop it!
27
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:47,206
Wait, I got an
idea. I got an idea.
28
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:48,798
- I hate him.
- I got an idea.
29
00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:49,808
Now, listen to me.
30
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:52,175
Will you listen to me
before I lose my temper?
31
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,475
Now, if you must fight,
why don't you wrestle tonight
32
00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:56,573
at the auditorium for
the policemen's benefit?
33
00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:57,742
- Hey.
- And you know what?
34
00:01:57,851 --> 00:02:00,116
Whoever wins receives
a $25 defense bond.
35
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,813
- Now, how's that?
- That's you.
36
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:03,823
You think you can get
me to wrestle this blimp?
37
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,404
Now, don't you think
that's wonderful?
38
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:08,122
You know, we're always trying
to be big brothers to you boys...
39
00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:09,228
You know, policemen are.
40
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:11,298
- You want me to wrestle him?
- Well, certainly.
41
00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:12,398
$25 bond?
42
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,833
$25 defense bond.
Isn't that wonderful?
43
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:16,935
Tonight at the auditorium,
the policemen's benefit.
44
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,835
I-I'll be willing to do it, too.
45
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:20,100
Fine. Now, that's fine.
46
00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:21,505
Now, be sure and be there.
47
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:24,100
You know, we policemen...
We policemen try to be your big...
48
00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:26,756
Costello, what are you trying
to do? Wait until tonight, will ya?
49
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,992
Now wait till tonight. I'm trying
to explain something to you.
50
00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:30,382
I'll give you the one-two-three.
51
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,180
Now, now, now,
Stinky. Now, Stinky.
52
00:02:32,285 --> 00:02:34,516
- I'll give you the one-three.
- Who gets the two?
53
00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:35,661
- Him.
- Keep me out of it.
54
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:36,996
Now, listen. Now, listen, boys.
55
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:39,686
And don't forget...
Whoever wins receives $25.
56
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:42,854
Wait a minute, Mike. I got an idea
this whole thing ain't on the level.
57
00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:44,829
- It ain't on the level?
- Yeah.
58
00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:48,390
Everything I do is on the
level. I'm an officer of the law.
59
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:52,132
There will be no favoritism
shown, absolutely not,
60
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:55,505
or I ain't Stinky's uncle.
61
00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:57,578
So long, Uncle Mike!
62
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,772
That's... That's your uncle?
63
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:04,743
I don't think you're a
bit smart there, Bingo,
64
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:05,888
doing a thing like this to me.
65
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,472
I mean, after all...
I mean, you're g...
66
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:10,210
Ohh, you got no right to beat
me in the game in the first place.
67
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:12,517
- Come on. What...
- I'm getting sick and tired of this.
68
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,021
Now, look, stop this.
This is not relaxing.
69
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:17,350
- He ain't so smart, this guy.
- Oh, no?
70
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:18,935
He only beat me two
out of three games.
71
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:21,053
Only two out of
three? Your brains.
72
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:22,925
I'm sick and tired
of playing with him.
73
00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:24,373
I don't want to play
with you no more.
74
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:26,491
Listen, I've got to...
I've got to take...
75
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,432
- I don't want...
- Will you listen to me now?
76
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:29,833
Bring out another game.
77
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,632
What? What?
78
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,099
All right, now, that's it.
79
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:34,867
Sit. Sit. Sit.
80
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:35,975
Sit down!
81
00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:37,442
Sit down!
82
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,411
Stop it!
83
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:43,226
I've got to take you down to
the restaurant and fatten you up
84
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:44,149
for that bout tonight.
85
00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:45,981
Here, you play the
whole game by yourself.
86
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,315
Play it by yourself. Go ahead.
87
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:50,219
Go on. I'm sick of you now.
Beating me like that every time.
88
00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:52,001
Come on. You've got a
big match on for tonight.
89
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,618
- See you later.
- Come on.
90
00:04:58,732 --> 00:04:59,529
Hey, wait a minute.
91
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,878
I'm going in that restaurant
and getting me something to eat.
92
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,142
- I'm hungry.
- I'm hungry, too.
93
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:04,747
Now, wait a minute. How
much money do you got?
94
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:05,397
I got no money.
95
00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:07,483
Well, how do you expect me
to take you into that restaurant
96
00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:09,452
and get you something to eat
if you haven't got any money?
97
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,342
Hello, Louie. Hello, Mr. Abbott.
98
00:05:11,444 --> 00:05:13,106
Now, don't bother me. I'm busy.
99
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,258
Yes, we're going in the restaurant
and getting something to eat.
100
00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:16,626
Well, I just want to
ask you a question.
101
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,494
- You don't have to ignore me.
- Now, don't get...
102
00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:21,579
I just wanted to find out how
you feel for the match tonight.
103
00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:23,132
I don't have to tell
you. I won't tell you.
104
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,556
Oh, go ahead.
What's the difference?
105
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,702
No, I'm not going to tell him
how I feel for the wrestling match.
106
00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:28,661
Tell me how you feel!
107
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:29,821
Now, Stinky, don't...
108
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,228
[Indistinct speaking]
109
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,391
I saw you attack that boy.
110
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,560
I thought we'd settled
your feud would be arranged
111
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,001
for the wrestling match tonight.
112
00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:39,115
Now, now, wait a minute,
Mike. He did not attack him.
113
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,301
Oh, he's lying. He's lying.
114
00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:42,968
He knocked the
stuffing out of that boy.
115
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,253
Knocked the stuffing out of him?
116
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:46,143
He's got plenty of
stuffing to knock out.
117
00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:47,475
Well, what did he do?
118
00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:49,206
What did he do? He
asked me how I felt.
119
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:51,444
Asked you how you felt?
So you swung on him.
120
00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:53,963
That's the way you answer a boy
when he wants to know how you feel.
121
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,498
Oh, I don't have to
tell if I don't want...
122
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:56,854
Why, I ought to run you in,
123
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,701
if it wasn't for that
wrestling match tonight.
124
00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:01,388
And I was going to... You know,
I just wanted to be nice to him.
125
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:02,985
I just wanted to
ask him something.
126
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,473
But I don't have to
tell you how I feel.
127
00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:05,521
I'm older than that kid.
128
00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:07,430
Go ahead and tell
him how you feel.
129
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:08,911
- I feel pretty good.
- There you are.
130
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,699
Well, when my mommy
asks me how I feel,
131
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,773
she makes me stick out
my tongue and show her.
132
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,617
Now, I don't have to stick
out my tongue and show him.
133
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:16,018
- I feel pretty good.
- Stick out your tongue.
134
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:18,170
Only if I go to the doctor
I stick out my tongue.
135
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,078
Let's get it over with.
Stick out your tongue.
136
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:23,082
Stick out your tongue!
137
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:25,152
Go ahead, stick out your
tongue. There it is. See?
138
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:26,413
There's nothing wr...
139
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,352
Thanks, Louie.
140
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,529
There was glue!
141
00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:39,129
Ohh!
142
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,928
What are you trying
to do to me, Costello?
143
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,866
There was glue on my tongue!
144
00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:45,734
Well, just watch
what you do to me.
145
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:46,568
Now, listen.
146
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:50,074
Now, I'm going in the barber
shop, but I'll see you later.
147
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,389
- Come on. I'm hungry.
- You've got no money.
148
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,957
- No.
- Wait a minute. I've got an idea.
149
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:56,973
Mike the Cop is in the
barbershop getting a shave.
150
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,643
We're going in there
and borrow his hat,
151
00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:00,347
his coat, his club,
and his whistle.
152
00:07:00,453 --> 00:07:01,216
Then what?
153
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:04,553
I'll explain everything to
you out here. Come on.
154
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,418
- Hello, Bacciagalupe.
- Oh, hello, Mr. Abbott.
155
00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:10,053
You next. Take a
little seat down...
156
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:11,483
No, I didn't come
in for a shave.
157
00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:13,564
I come in to invite you to
the Policemen's Benefit.
158
00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:14,862
- Policemen's Benefit?
- Yeah.
159
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:18,063
Yeah, Lou's going to
wrestle my nephew Stinky.
160
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:20,231
Luigi, you going to wrestle...
161
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,736
What are you trying to do here?
162
00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:24,140
Hey, come on.
163
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,839
Luigi, you breaking
my business all the time.
164
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,058
What are you trying
to do? What is this?
165
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:30,322
Hey, Mike, you getting a shave?
166
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:31,928
Let me shave you,
Mike. Let me shave you.
167
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:35,445
Get away! Get this... Get it...
Get this goon away from here.
168
00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:37,524
What are you trying to do?
169
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:38,717
What are you trying to do?
170
00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:40,794
Come in to get a shave and he...
171
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:42,590
Get out of here!
172
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,076
Now, do you understand this?
Put this hat on, the coat on.
173
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,477
- Put the uniform on.
- Want me to put it on?
174
00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:49,501
Come on. Hurry up.
175
00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:50,264
Attaboy.
176
00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:51,647
I'm going to be
the policeman first.
177
00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:53,749
I'll show you... I'll show
you how to get a free meal.
178
00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:54,433
Okay.
179
00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:55,600
Thataboy.
180
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,143
Now, look, you put this on.
181
00:07:57,243 --> 00:07:59,678
I'll go in the restaurant.
I'll order a big meal.
182
00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:00,405
Yeah.
183
00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:01,742
I'll get loaded up good.
184
00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:03,817
And when I can't pay it,
185
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,557
then naturally they'll
want to call a cop.
186
00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:08,178
So, I'll say, "You don't have
to call a cop. I'll call a cop."
187
00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:09,732
I'll take out the whistle,
blow the whistle.
188
00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:11,452
You come in. You pinch me.
189
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:13,198
We come out here,
and we switch the parts.
190
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:15,037
- You mean you're going to go in first.
- I'll go in first.
191
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:17,039
And then when you blow the
whistle, that means they want the cop.
192
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,674
- That's when I come in.
- That's when you come in.
193
00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:20,242
- And I'm the cop.
- And don't forget to come in.
194
00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:21,310
And then what
happens after that?
195
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,030
Well, when you come
outside, I'll switch.
196
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,847
I'll put on the uniform. Then
you go inside and show up.
197
00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:25,948
Then you'll be the policeman?
198
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:27,750
And then you blow the whistle.
I'll come in and arrest you.
199
00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:28,366
- Eat.
- Come on.
200
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:30,601
- I'm with you.
- Don't forget it.
201
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:46,357
Who hit me?
202
00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:49,190
I'm... Hit myself.
203
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:59,295
I'll have the works, soup
to nuts, and make it snappy.
204
00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:01,933
He's got a beautiful
waitress in there.
205
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,552
I hope she waits on
me when I go in there.
206
00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:04,908
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
207
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,156
I'm sick and tired of you
spending my hard-earned money
208
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,614
on buying those
funny-looking hats.
209
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:09,992
I never saw such
a silly-looking hat...
210
00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:11,861
Don't you dare insult my
taste in hats, you moron!
211
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:12,895
Don't you call me a moron!
212
00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:14,353
Now, now, now. Quiet! Quiet!
213
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:15,534
What did you do with the...
214
00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:17,523
Quiet!
215
00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:18,421
I'm an officer of the law,
216
00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:20,436
and I don't like this kind of
arguing on the street here.
217
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:21,737
This is public
thoroughfare here.
218
00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:23,906
You shouldn't argue in front
of... Especially a man and a wife...
219
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,074
In front of people, strangers.
220
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,397
Now, she's a pretty
kid, this kid over here,
221
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,902
and if was you and her husband,
I... Ow... I wouldn't argue with her.
222
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,348
And when my wife
and I have an argument,
223
00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:33,271
all we do is kiss and make up.
224
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:35,842
Why don't you kiss
and make up, like this?
225
00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:38,343
Here, you leave my wife
alone. Now, you leave her alone.
226
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,038
Will you stop picking on him?
227
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:44,777
He's an officer of the law and
can do anything he pleases.
228
00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:45,884
Yeah.
229
00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:47,749
All we do is kiss and make up.
230
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:51,424
Come on. Get going off the
street before I run you both in.
231
00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,893
- Hey, you're a new cop, ain't you?
- That's right, son.
232
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,429
- Can I borrow your club?
- Sure.
233
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:58,607
Kid wants to be a policeman.
234
00:09:58,631 --> 00:10:00,862
Aah!
235
00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:03,163
Aah!
236
00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:10,135
What do you mean,
you can't pay this bill?
237
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:13,611
That's just it. Sorry.
238
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:15,306
I suppose you haven't any money?
239
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:16,713
I haven't got a dime.
240
00:10:16,816 --> 00:10:19,513
I'll have you arrested
for this. I'll call the police.
241
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:22,817
Wait a minute. Wait a
minute. I'll help you out on that.
242
00:10:22,989 --> 00:10:24,321
[Whistle]
243
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:37,768
What's the trouble here?
244
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:40,272
This man refuses
to pay his bill, officer.
245
00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:42,069
- Oh, he does, does he?
- Yes, Sir.
246
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,144
So, you refuse to
pay the bill, huh?
247
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,406
[Indistinct speaking]
248
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:49,381
Come on. Come on. Come
on. This is no laughing matter.
249
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,177
Come on.
250
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:51,945
Don't overdo it.
Don't overdo it.
251
00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:53,144
Thank you, officer.
252
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,222
I'll take this man down
to the station house.
253
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,619
Come on.
254
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:02,193
Coming around here, eating
for nothing, and I want to...
255
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:05,288
I'll take care of it, Mr. Manager.
I'll get him down the police station.
256
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,696
Come on. Get down.
257
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:08,427
All right, don't be so rough.
258
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:09,798
Nice work.
259
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:12,566
Thanks. That's the first
thing you've ever done right.
260
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,749
Now, give me the hat and coat.
261
00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:14,773
- Okay, here.
- That's it.
262
00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:16,603
[Speaking Italian]
263
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:18,877
- Now, wait a minute.
- Okay.
264
00:11:18,978 --> 00:11:19,707
Here's the club.
265
00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:22,043
Oh, no, no, no, I use the
club. You use the whistle.
266
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:23,844
And don't forget
to blow the whistle.
267
00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:25,418
Eat plenty. Oh,
the food is good.
268
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,611
Hey, be dressed up, please.
269
00:11:26,719 --> 00:11:28,415
All right, well,
wait till I get it on.
270
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,320
- Get it on. Hurry up. Go ahead.
- I'm going to eat.
271
00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:45,496
That's the one that waited
on Abbott. She's pretty.
272
00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:46,504
How do you...
273
00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:48,666
How do you do, Sir?
274
00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:53,310
Run along, Miss. I'll
wait on this customer.
275
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:54,472
All right.
276
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:56,277
The menu, Sir.
277
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,712
I could lose an appetite
here. You know that.
278
00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:01,754
And let me see.
279
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:03,956
Got a match?
280
00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:06,686
No, I haven't. I'm
sorry. I don't smoke.
281
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:08,853
Give me some of this Gaston.
282
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:12,364
Oh, no, Sir, that's
a... That's my name.
283
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,798
This is a French/Italian
restaurant.
284
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:15,994
- It is?
- Mm-hmnh.
285
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:19,003
Yeah, give me some
spaghetti and matzoh balls.
286
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,471
- Spaghetti and meatballs.
- Yeah.
287
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:23,542
Where's my steak?
288
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:24,908
It's coming right up, Sir.
289
00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:26,445
Hey, how about a steak for me?
290
00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:27,639
Are you kidding?
291
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,079
- No, I'd like a steak.
- Steak?!
292
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:30,650
Yes, thank you.
293
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:35,011
Thank you, Miss.
294
00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:37,155
Steak.
295
00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:39,122
Steak?
296
00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:41,251
I'll have a steak sandwich.
297
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,160
All right, boys.
298
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,122
Thank you, Miss.
299
00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:00,377
You want to know something?
300
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,449
I don't like your looks.
301
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:19,188
I will now bank the
8-ball in the side pocket.
302
00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:21,590
What's the idea?
303
00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,795
- Want to know something?
- What?
304
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:25,098
I don't know myself.
305
00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:26,331
That's good.
306
00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:28,135
You know, I could
play you a dirty trick.
307
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,140
- You could?
- Yes, I could.
308
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,020
- Well, go ahead.
- I can show you something else.
309
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:33,122
- Well, go ahead. What?
- All right, put your hand out.
310
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,808
Put your foot out.
311
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:41,150
Please, now, please.
312
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:45,022
Your spaghetti, Sir.
313
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:48,450
And your meatballs.
314
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,281
What's the idea of
racking up the meatballs?
315
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,831
Our chef used to
work in a pool room.
316
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:53,864
Pool room.
317
00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:57,334
Yeah. On your table.
318
00:14:08,614 --> 00:14:11,641
Uh-oh, Mike's getting finished.
319
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:14,477
Costello.
320
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,318
You better hurry up,
or you're a dead pigeon.
321
00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:20,987
I've got to get this hat
and coat back to him.
322
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,932
All right? You feel much better?
323
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,661
Hey, wait a minute.
324
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,760
What are you doing
with my coat and hat?
325
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,790
Oh, I... I was just going
to help you on with it.
326
00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:33,568
Oh, thanks.
327
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:34,971
Nothing too good for the law.
328
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:37,975
I'm sorry. The check is $10,
and I haven't got the money.
329
00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:43,209
Listen, you're the 12th guy
today who couldn't pay his bill,
330
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:44,375
and I'm sick of it!
331
00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:49,986
Hey, Mugsy, Butch, come here.
332
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,648
Take care of this guy.
333
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:54,745
Wait there, man! Just a minute!
What are you trying to do?!
334
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:57,628
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
335
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,995
Wait a minute!
336
00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:05,061
That's the 12th guy who
couldn't pay his check.
337
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:08,007
I sure would hate
to be number 13.
338
00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:11,702
He isn't going to get
off as easy as this one.
339
00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,076
Enjoy your food.
340
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:17,250
MAN: Oh! Oh! Please!
341
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:20,218
Aah! Aah! Aah!
342
00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:22,048
Help! Help!
343
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,886
[Indistinct shouting]
344
00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:26,857
Oh, no!
345
00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:28,291
Help! Help!
346
00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:30,989
Oh, no, no!
347
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,097
Don't do that!
348
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,224
Hey, don't!
349
00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:35,392
Don't do that!
350
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:39,101
Oh, no! Let me go! Oh!
351
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,741
[Shouting continues]
352
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:51,546
What's the matter?
Can't you eat any more?
353
00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:52,942
Enjoy your food.
354
00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:55,351
Go on. Finish it.
355
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:57,522
MAN: Oh, no!
356
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,819
Oh, oh, please don't do it!
357
00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:01,861
I think I'm going
to be the 13th.
358
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:04,863
What? You, too?
359
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:09,868
You're... You're...
You... Ugh... I...
360
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,947
Watch your blood pressure.
Watch your blood pressure.
361
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,634
I think I'll call the boys and
have them take care of you.
362
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:15,867
Don't call the boys.
363
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,920
They're busy right now
with the little fella out there.
364
00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,879
I'll call a cop for you.
365
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,914
[Whistle]
366
00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:23,208
Ah, duty calls!
367
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:24,909
- Sounds like it's next door!
- Hey!
368
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:26,815
Hey, you no pay for the shave!
369
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:27,986
Oh, boy!
370
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:30,148
Oh, Officer, I'm
glad you got here.
371
00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:32,953
This man refuses
to pay his bill.
372
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:35,119
Now, take it easy,
Mr. Proprietor.
373
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:37,823
Come on. Go ahead.
Take me out, Officer.
374
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,942
Hey, Abbott, what are you
doing, playing a detective?
375
00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:41,127
He's a plainclothesman, now.
376
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:42,361
Officer, do your duty.
377
00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:43,879
Come on, what did
you do with the outfit,
378
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:44,802
the outfit, the outfit?
379
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:46,099
Take me out, will you?
380
00:16:46,205 --> 00:16:48,333
Shut up! I got enough
trouble with him!
381
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:49,568
Take me out!
382
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:50,734
Hiya, Mike.
383
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,443
- Will you take...
- You little deadbeat.
384
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,378
Shut up.
385
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,291
[Applause]
386
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:09,360
Hey, I want to tell
you something, Abbott.
387
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:10,122
What's that?
388
00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:11,573
You'll never know
how close Mike the Cop
389
00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:12,708
was ready to bop
me over the head,
390
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:14,223
and I want to tell
you something else.
391
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:17,667
Don't get me mixed up
into anymore of your ideas.
392
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:18,567
Wait a minute.
393
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:20,367
I always wind up in
the middle of them.
394
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,237
Wait a minute, my
boy. I have more ide...
395
00:17:22,341 --> 00:17:24,276
"My boy," now. "My boy,"
he calls me, "My boy."
396
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,107
I have more ideas.
397
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,044
- You got more ideas?
- Plenty of ideas.
398
00:17:28,147 --> 00:17:31,345
I'm only glad that we only got
15 minutes to work them out.
399
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:33,419
- Come on.
- Come on, kid.
400
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:35,560
I should never forgive you
401
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:37,556
for giving back Mike
the Cop his hat and coat.
402
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:40,320
Well, I couldn't help myself.
He was all finished shaving.
403
00:17:40,426 --> 00:17:42,361
But this is one match
you're going to win.
404
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:45,959
You little troublemaker,
405
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,296
fixing it so Stinky can't
wrestle you tonight, huh?
406
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,302
What's the big idea
of getting Stinky sick?
407
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,463
All I did was give
Stinky 26 malted milks.
408
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:53,972
Yeah, 26 malted milks.
409
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,508
So, you think you're going to
win this match by default, huh?
410
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,237
Now, listen, I'll
wrestle anybody.
411
00:17:58,344 --> 00:17:59,573
Yeah, will you? That's right.
412
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:02,046
You will because we got
a substitute, another kid.
413
00:18:02,148 --> 00:18:02,843
Who is it? Who is it?
414
00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:04,713
- Stinky's brother.
- Stinky's kid brother?
415
00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:05,841
Yeah, his kid brother.
416
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:07,396
I didn't know Stinky
had a kid brother.
417
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:08,931
- Oh, yeah.
- What are you worried about?
418
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:10,253
Hey, listen, how big is he?
419
00:18:10,356 --> 00:18:12,985
Oh, he's... he's about
your size, or thereabouts.
420
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,603
- I want you to meet him.
- Bring him in.
421
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,371
What are you worrying
about? You're in good shape.
422
00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:19,957
If Stinky's got a kid
brother, I'm not afraid of him.
423
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,831
- What was that?
- Stinky's brother.
424
00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:24,379
- Now listen, you...
- I didn't do that.
425
00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:25,735
- Who did?
- Stinky's brother.
426
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,568
Now, listen, you...
427
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:28,673
Stink...
428
00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:33,606
Come on. Get up
that nerve of yours.
429
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:36,182
I want you to go in that
ring like a bullfighter,
430
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:39,480
wrestle him like a matador,
throw him like a picador.
431
00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:41,747
And they'll carry me
out like a cuspidor.
432
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:44,722
[Indistinct speaking]
433
00:19:15,187 --> 00:19:17,418
This is no time to play.
434
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,553
Ladies and gentlemen,
435
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,720
this is the final
event of the evening.
436
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:25,990
Introducing, from
Paterson, New Jersey,
437
00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:29,432
the Tiger Man,
Wild Lou Costello.
438
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,537
[Crowd cheers]
439
00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:32,730
That's the boy.
440
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:35,171
Get your hands off
me. I'm a wrestler.
441
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:36,469
That's the spirit.
442
00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:38,441
- Get your hands off me.
- Take it easy, Lou.
443
00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:39,842
- I'm a wrestler.
- Take it e...
444
00:19:39,945 --> 00:19:40,945
Give me that.
445
00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:42,047
Take it easy.
446
00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:43,173
Take the robe.
447
00:19:43,282 --> 00:19:44,545
I'm paralyzed.
448
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:46,915
Just get your arm through.
449
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,146
Here, here, here, way to...
450
00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:49,313
Save it. Save it, kid.
451
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,414
- Somebody else...
- Save it. Save it.
452
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,524
There.
453
00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:57,086
And in this corner,
substituting for Stinky,
454
00:19:57,196 --> 00:20:00,564
his kid brother, the
Goliath of the match,
455
00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:02,498
Ivan the Terrible.
456
00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:04,261
[Crowd cheers]
457
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:47,677
- Get out there.
- Huh?
458
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:48,780
Get out!
459
00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:49,814
Sure.
460
00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:52,947
Here, get in... Get in the ring.
461
00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:54,315
Not this way.
462
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:55,615
Come on.
463
00:20:55,721 --> 00:20:57,713
Go ahead. Muss
your hair like that.
464
00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:58,823
Fix it up. That's it.
465
00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:01,019
That's it. Scare the...
Scare the devil out of him.
466
00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:03,119
Go ahead, kid. Go ahead.
467
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,910
Now, listen, I want
a good, clean fight.
468
00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:20,002
I want you to break
when I tell you to break.
469
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:23,048
And Costello, I don't want
any of your dirty tactics,
470
00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:25,084
like hitting below the belt,
471
00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:26,049
or like this.
472
00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:27,017
Aah!
473
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:28,781
Like pulling hair,
474
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:31,619
and none of those
rabbit punches,
475
00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:33,886
and none of that stuff
that you do with Stinky.
476
00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:35,222
Ohh!
477
00:21:35,394 --> 00:21:37,761
And no hitting
with a closed fist.
478
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,893
And no laying down!
479
00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:47,585
And none of this. I
don't want any of this.
480
00:21:47,706 --> 00:21:48,799
Ohh!
481
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:50,308
All right.
482
00:21:50,709 --> 00:21:51,404
Ohh.
483
00:21:51,510 --> 00:21:53,308
Now, I want you to go
back to your corners,
484
00:21:53,412 --> 00:21:55,847
and may the better man win.
485
00:22:10,396 --> 00:22:11,807
You thought it was
going to make me sick,
486
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,060
drinking all this malted milk.
487
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,633
Well, it didn't, see?
488
00:22:26,745 --> 00:22:28,509
Give him an uppercut, Luigi.
489
00:22:28,614 --> 00:22:29,912
Throw him over your head!
490
00:22:33,953 --> 00:22:35,512
Thataboy, Lou.
491
00:22:35,621 --> 00:22:37,715
Thataboy, make him...
492
00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:39,518
Ohh! Abbott!
493
00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:42,151
Abbott, he's breaking my arm!
494
00:22:42,261 --> 00:22:44,628
You're fine. Take it easy.
495
00:22:44,730 --> 00:22:46,141
You've got him
now, kid. Don't let go.
496
00:22:46,165 --> 00:22:47,224
He's breaking my arm!
497
00:22:47,333 --> 00:22:49,044
What are you worried
about? You got another arm!
498
00:22:49,068 --> 00:22:50,502
Ohh!
499
00:22:51,337 --> 00:22:54,398
Is Luigi all right?
500
00:22:54,573 --> 00:22:57,372
[Phone rings]
501
00:22:57,476 --> 00:22:59,001
Hello?
502
00:22:59,111 --> 00:23:00,477
Louis, it's for you.
503
00:23:00,579 --> 00:23:01,877
Tell them I'm all tied up.
504
00:23:01,981 --> 00:23:03,472
He says he's all tied up.
505
00:23:03,582 --> 00:23:04,948
Aah!
506
00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:06,642
Come on, Louis! Come on, Louis!
507
00:23:06,752 --> 00:23:07,752
Come on, Louie.
508
00:23:20,199 --> 00:23:23,431
Hey, Abbott!
509
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:30,334
Abbott!
510
00:23:30,442 --> 00:23:31,501
Abbott!
511
00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:32,634
Abbott!
512
00:23:33,112 --> 00:23:37,345
Aye! Aye! Aye! Aye!
513
00:23:43,889 --> 00:23:45,687
Aah!
514
00:23:52,064 --> 00:23:54,533
Ohh!
515
00:23:55,534 --> 00:23:58,129
You got to get your head out
of there, or I'll disqualify you.
516
00:23:58,237 --> 00:24:00,502
Louis, push your head
out. What's the matter?
517
00:24:00,606 --> 00:24:02,199
Push your head.
518
00:24:02,308 --> 00:24:04,072
Take your head out!
519
00:24:04,176 --> 00:24:05,075
Your smoke.
520
00:24:05,177 --> 00:24:07,237
Push out your head.
521
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:09,812
Now, what are you doing, Louis?
522
00:24:37,343 --> 00:24:39,039
- Two, please.
- Come on, Louis!
523
00:24:53,859 --> 00:24:55,327
Give up?
524
00:24:55,427 --> 00:24:56,952
Give up?
525
00:24:57,196 --> 00:24:58,687
Give up?
526
00:25:00,165 --> 00:25:02,191
Did you break...?
527
00:25:02,301 --> 00:25:03,496
You...
528
00:25:04,570 --> 00:25:07,005
Oh, I broke it off!
529
00:25:12,544 --> 00:25:15,343
Hey! Good boy!
530
00:25:15,447 --> 00:25:17,143
The winner!
531
00:25:26,625 --> 00:25:28,821
[Applause]
532
00:25:32,664 --> 00:25:35,930
Well, Costello, tonight's experience
should teach you a lesson.
533
00:25:36,035 --> 00:25:37,128
You should go on a diet.
534
00:25:37,236 --> 00:25:38,829
Oh, I'm not going
on any diet, Abbott.
535
00:25:38,937 --> 00:25:40,315
Going on a diet...
That's too dangerous.
536
00:25:40,339 --> 00:25:40,965
What do you mean?
537
00:25:41,073 --> 00:25:42,951
Anybody that goes on a diet...
That's a very dangerous thing.
538
00:25:42,975 --> 00:25:44,152
What's dangerous about it, Lou?
539
00:25:44,176 --> 00:25:46,154
Well my Uncle Tom and
Aunt Eva... They went on a diet.
540
00:25:46,178 --> 00:25:46,736
They did?
541
00:25:46,845 --> 00:25:48,711
Sure, my Uncle Tom,
he weighed 200 pounds,
542
00:25:48,814 --> 00:25:50,715
and my aunt Eva, she
weighed 135 pounds.
543
00:25:50,816 --> 00:25:51,181
No.
544
00:25:51,283 --> 00:25:52,827
- And what do you think happened?
- I don't know.
545
00:25:52,851 --> 00:25:54,513
My Uncle Tom...
He lost 150 pounds.
546
00:25:54,620 --> 00:25:55,883
What happened to your Aunt?
547
00:25:55,988 --> 00:25:57,422
She disappeared completely.
548
00:25:57,523 --> 00:25:58,684
Ohh!
39501
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