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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:36,864 [Applause] 2 00:00:43,076 --> 00:00:44,510 Now! 3 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:49,209 What's the matter with you? Looking for trouble again? 4 00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:51,661 Oh, no, I want to tell you, Abbott, I never felt this good in my life. 5 00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:54,348 I feel really wonderful, boy. I feel shipshape. 6 00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:55,319 Oh, you do, eh? 7 00:00:55,422 --> 00:00:56,666 How do you like that shadowboxing? 8 00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:57,749 - Shadowboxing? - Yeah. 9 00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,102 What do you know about shadowboxing? 10 00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,904 - I'm boxing my shadow. - Oh, why don't you stop that? 11 00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:02,472 Why, did you want me to fight somebody else? 12 00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:04,173 I'd rather box my shadow. It ain't going to hurt me. 13 00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:05,408 It ain't going to hit me back, anyway. 14 00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:06,976 - Look, come with me. - Hey, wait a minute. 15 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:07,763 [Laughs] 16 00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,546 - What's the matter? - I think I like this. 17 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:10,780 - This is a cute one. - What is? 18 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:11,863 Make a fist. 19 00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:13,565 - Put it under here. - Yeah. 20 00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:24,348 Always bumping into me! 21 00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:25,612 Oh, come on. What is this? 22 00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:27,277 Ohh! 23 00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:35,321 Ohh! 24 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,558 You bumped into me! I didn't bump into you! 25 00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:42,768 All right, why don't you two stop... 26 00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:45,703 - He started it! He started it! - All right, stop it, stop it, stop it! 27 00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:47,206 Wait, I got an idea. I got an idea. 28 00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:48,798 - I hate him. - I got an idea. 29 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:49,808 Now, listen to me. 30 00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:52,175 Will you listen to me before I lose my temper? 31 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,475 Now, if you must fight, why don't you wrestle tonight 32 00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:56,573 at the auditorium for the policemen's benefit? 33 00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:57,742 - Hey. - And you know what? 34 00:01:57,851 --> 00:02:00,116 Whoever wins receives a $25 defense bond. 35 00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,813 - Now, how's that? - That's you. 36 00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:03,823 You think you can get me to wrestle this blimp? 37 00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,404 Now, don't you think that's wonderful? 38 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:08,122 You know, we're always trying to be big brothers to you boys... 39 00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:09,228 You know, policemen are. 40 00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:11,298 - You want me to wrestle him? - Well, certainly. 41 00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:12,398 $25 bond? 42 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,833 $25 defense bond. Isn't that wonderful? 43 00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:16,935 Tonight at the auditorium, the policemen's benefit. 44 00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,835 I-I'll be willing to do it, too. 45 00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:20,100 Fine. Now, that's fine. 46 00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:21,505 Now, be sure and be there. 47 00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:24,100 You know, we policemen... We policemen try to be your big... 48 00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:26,756 Costello, what are you trying to do? Wait until tonight, will ya? 49 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,992 Now wait till tonight. I'm trying to explain something to you. 50 00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:30,382 I'll give you the one-two-three. 51 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,180 Now, now, now, Stinky. Now, Stinky. 52 00:02:32,285 --> 00:02:34,516 - I'll give you the one-three. - Who gets the two? 53 00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:35,661 - Him. - Keep me out of it. 54 00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:36,996 Now, listen. Now, listen, boys. 55 00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:39,686 And don't forget... Whoever wins receives $25. 56 00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:42,854 Wait a minute, Mike. I got an idea this whole thing ain't on the level. 57 00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:44,829 - It ain't on the level? - Yeah. 58 00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:48,390 Everything I do is on the level. I'm an officer of the law. 59 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:52,132 There will be no favoritism shown, absolutely not, 60 00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:55,505 or I ain't Stinky's uncle. 61 00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:57,578 So long, Uncle Mike! 62 00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,772 That's... That's your uncle? 63 00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:04,743 I don't think you're a bit smart there, Bingo, 64 00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:05,888 doing a thing like this to me. 65 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,472 I mean, after all... I mean, you're g... 66 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:10,210 Ohh, you got no right to beat me in the game in the first place. 67 00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:12,517 - Come on. What... - I'm getting sick and tired of this. 68 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,021 Now, look, stop this. This is not relaxing. 69 00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:17,350 - He ain't so smart, this guy. - Oh, no? 70 00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:18,935 He only beat me two out of three games. 71 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:21,053 Only two out of three? Your brains. 72 00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:22,925 I'm sick and tired of playing with him. 73 00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:24,373 I don't want to play with you no more. 74 00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:26,491 Listen, I've got to... I've got to take... 75 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,432 - I don't want... - Will you listen to me now? 76 00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:29,833 Bring out another game. 77 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,632 What? What? 78 00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,099 All right, now, that's it. 79 00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:34,867 Sit. Sit. Sit. 80 00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:35,975 Sit down! 81 00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:37,442 Sit down! 82 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,411 Stop it! 83 00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:43,226 I've got to take you down to the restaurant and fatten you up 84 00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:44,149 for that bout tonight. 85 00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:45,981 Here, you play the whole game by yourself. 86 00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,315 Play it by yourself. Go ahead. 87 00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:50,219 Go on. I'm sick of you now. Beating me like that every time. 88 00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:52,001 Come on. You've got a big match on for tonight. 89 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,618 - See you later. - Come on. 90 00:04:58,732 --> 00:04:59,529 Hey, wait a minute. 91 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,878 I'm going in that restaurant and getting me something to eat. 92 00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,142 - I'm hungry. - I'm hungry, too. 93 00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:04,747 Now, wait a minute. How much money do you got? 94 00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:05,397 I got no money. 95 00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:07,483 Well, how do you expect me to take you into that restaurant 96 00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:09,452 and get you something to eat if you haven't got any money? 97 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,342 Hello, Louie. Hello, Mr. Abbott. 98 00:05:11,444 --> 00:05:13,106 Now, don't bother me. I'm busy. 99 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,258 Yes, we're going in the restaurant and getting something to eat. 100 00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:16,626 Well, I just want to ask you a question. 101 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,494 - You don't have to ignore me. - Now, don't get... 102 00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:21,579 I just wanted to find out how you feel for the match tonight. 103 00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:23,132 I don't have to tell you. I won't tell you. 104 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,556 Oh, go ahead. What's the difference? 105 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,702 No, I'm not going to tell him how I feel for the wrestling match. 106 00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:28,661 Tell me how you feel! 107 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:29,821 Now, Stinky, don't... 108 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,228 [Indistinct speaking] 109 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,391 I saw you attack that boy. 110 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,560 I thought we'd settled your feud would be arranged 111 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,001 for the wrestling match tonight. 112 00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:39,115 Now, now, wait a minute, Mike. He did not attack him. 113 00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,301 Oh, he's lying. He's lying. 114 00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:42,968 He knocked the stuffing out of that boy. 115 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,253 Knocked the stuffing out of him? 116 00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:46,143 He's got plenty of stuffing to knock out. 117 00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:47,475 Well, what did he do? 118 00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:49,206 What did he do? He asked me how I felt. 119 00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:51,444 Asked you how you felt? So you swung on him. 120 00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:53,963 That's the way you answer a boy when he wants to know how you feel. 121 00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,498 Oh, I don't have to tell if I don't want... 122 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:56,854 Why, I ought to run you in, 123 00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,701 if it wasn't for that wrestling match tonight. 124 00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:01,388 And I was going to... You know, I just wanted to be nice to him. 125 00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:02,985 I just wanted to ask him something. 126 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,473 But I don't have to tell you how I feel. 127 00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:05,521 I'm older than that kid. 128 00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:07,430 Go ahead and tell him how you feel. 129 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:08,911 - I feel pretty good. - There you are. 130 00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,699 Well, when my mommy asks me how I feel, 131 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,773 she makes me stick out my tongue and show her. 132 00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,617 Now, I don't have to stick out my tongue and show him. 133 00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:16,018 - I feel pretty good. - Stick out your tongue. 134 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:18,170 Only if I go to the doctor I stick out my tongue. 135 00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,078 Let's get it over with. Stick out your tongue. 136 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:23,082 Stick out your tongue! 137 00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:25,152 Go ahead, stick out your tongue. There it is. See? 138 00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:26,413 There's nothing wr... 139 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,352 Thanks, Louie. 140 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,529 There was glue! 141 00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:39,129 Ohh! 142 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,928 What are you trying to do to me, Costello? 143 00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,866 There was glue on my tongue! 144 00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:45,734 Well, just watch what you do to me. 145 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:46,568 Now, listen. 146 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:50,074 Now, I'm going in the barber shop, but I'll see you later. 147 00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,389 - Come on. I'm hungry. - You've got no money. 148 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,957 - No. - Wait a minute. I've got an idea. 149 00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:56,973 Mike the Cop is in the barbershop getting a shave. 150 00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,643 We're going in there and borrow his hat, 151 00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:00,347 his coat, his club, and his whistle. 152 00:07:00,453 --> 00:07:01,216 Then what? 153 00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:04,553 I'll explain everything to you out here. Come on. 154 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,418 - Hello, Bacciagalupe. - Oh, hello, Mr. Abbott. 155 00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:10,053 You next. Take a little seat down... 156 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:11,483 No, I didn't come in for a shave. 157 00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:13,564 I come in to invite you to the Policemen's Benefit. 158 00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:14,862 - Policemen's Benefit? - Yeah. 159 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:18,063 Yeah, Lou's going to wrestle my nephew Stinky. 160 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:20,231 Luigi, you going to wrestle... 161 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,736 What are you trying to do here? 162 00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:24,140 Hey, come on. 163 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,839 Luigi, you breaking my business all the time. 164 00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,058 What are you trying to do? What is this? 165 00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:30,322 Hey, Mike, you getting a shave? 166 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:31,928 Let me shave you, Mike. Let me shave you. 167 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:35,445 Get away! Get this... Get it... Get this goon away from here. 168 00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:37,524 What are you trying to do? 169 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:38,717 What are you trying to do? 170 00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:40,794 Come in to get a shave and he... 171 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:42,590 Get out of here! 172 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,076 Now, do you understand this? Put this hat on, the coat on. 173 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,477 - Put the uniform on. - Want me to put it on? 174 00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:49,501 Come on. Hurry up. 175 00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:50,264 Attaboy. 176 00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:51,647 I'm going to be the policeman first. 177 00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:53,749 I'll show you... I'll show you how to get a free meal. 178 00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:54,433 Okay. 179 00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:55,600 Thataboy. 180 00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,143 Now, look, you put this on. 181 00:07:57,243 --> 00:07:59,678 I'll go in the restaurant. I'll order a big meal. 182 00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:00,405 Yeah. 183 00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:01,742 I'll get loaded up good. 184 00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:03,817 And when I can't pay it, 185 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,557 then naturally they'll want to call a cop. 186 00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:08,178 So, I'll say, "You don't have to call a cop. I'll call a cop." 187 00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:09,732 I'll take out the whistle, blow the whistle. 188 00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:11,452 You come in. You pinch me. 189 00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:13,198 We come out here, and we switch the parts. 190 00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:15,037 - You mean you're going to go in first. - I'll go in first. 191 00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:17,039 And then when you blow the whistle, that means they want the cop. 192 00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,674 - That's when I come in. - That's when you come in. 193 00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:20,242 - And I'm the cop. - And don't forget to come in. 194 00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:21,310 And then what happens after that? 195 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,030 Well, when you come outside, I'll switch. 196 00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,847 I'll put on the uniform. Then you go inside and show up. 197 00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:25,948 Then you'll be the policeman? 198 00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:27,750 And then you blow the whistle. I'll come in and arrest you. 199 00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:28,366 - Eat. - Come on. 200 00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:30,601 - I'm with you. - Don't forget it. 201 00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:46,357 Who hit me? 202 00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:49,190 I'm... Hit myself. 203 00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:59,295 I'll have the works, soup to nuts, and make it snappy. 204 00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:01,933 He's got a beautiful waitress in there. 205 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,552 I hope she waits on me when I go in there. 206 00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:04,908 Ooh, ooh, ooh! 207 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,156 I'm sick and tired of you spending my hard-earned money 208 00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,614 on buying those funny-looking hats. 209 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:09,992 I never saw such a silly-looking hat... 210 00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:11,861 Don't you dare insult my taste in hats, you moron! 211 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:12,895 Don't you call me a moron! 212 00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:14,353 Now, now, now. Quiet! Quiet! 213 00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:15,534 What did you do with the... 214 00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:17,523 Quiet! 215 00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:18,421 I'm an officer of the law, 216 00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:20,436 and I don't like this kind of arguing on the street here. 217 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:21,737 This is public thoroughfare here. 218 00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:23,906 You shouldn't argue in front of... Especially a man and a wife... 219 00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,074 In front of people, strangers. 220 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,397 Now, she's a pretty kid, this kid over here, 221 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,902 and if was you and her husband, I... Ow... I wouldn't argue with her. 222 00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,348 And when my wife and I have an argument, 223 00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:33,271 all we do is kiss and make up. 224 00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:35,842 Why don't you kiss and make up, like this? 225 00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:38,343 Here, you leave my wife alone. Now, you leave her alone. 226 00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,038 Will you stop picking on him? 227 00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:44,777 He's an officer of the law and can do anything he pleases. 228 00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:45,884 Yeah. 229 00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:47,749 All we do is kiss and make up. 230 00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:51,424 Come on. Get going off the street before I run you both in. 231 00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,893 - Hey, you're a new cop, ain't you? - That's right, son. 232 00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,429 - Can I borrow your club? - Sure. 233 00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:58,607 Kid wants to be a policeman. 234 00:09:58,631 --> 00:10:00,862 Aah! 235 00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:03,163 Aah! 236 00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:10,135 What do you mean, you can't pay this bill? 237 00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:13,611 That's just it. Sorry. 238 00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:15,306 I suppose you haven't any money? 239 00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:16,713 I haven't got a dime. 240 00:10:16,816 --> 00:10:19,513 I'll have you arrested for this. I'll call the police. 241 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:22,817 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'll help you out on that. 242 00:10:22,989 --> 00:10:24,321 [Whistle] 243 00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:37,768 What's the trouble here? 244 00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:40,272 This man refuses to pay his bill, officer. 245 00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:42,069 - Oh, he does, does he? - Yes, Sir. 246 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,144 So, you refuse to pay the bill, huh? 247 00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,406 [Indistinct speaking] 248 00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:49,381 Come on. Come on. Come on. This is no laughing matter. 249 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,177 Come on. 250 00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:51,945 Don't overdo it. Don't overdo it. 251 00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:53,144 Thank you, officer. 252 00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,222 I'll take this man down to the station house. 253 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,619 Come on. 254 00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:02,193 Coming around here, eating for nothing, and I want to... 255 00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:05,288 I'll take care of it, Mr. Manager. I'll get him down the police station. 256 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,696 Come on. Get down. 257 00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:08,427 All right, don't be so rough. 258 00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:09,798 Nice work. 259 00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:12,566 Thanks. That's the first thing you've ever done right. 260 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,749 Now, give me the hat and coat. 261 00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:14,773 - Okay, here. - That's it. 262 00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:16,603 [Speaking Italian] 263 00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:18,877 - Now, wait a minute. - Okay. 264 00:11:18,978 --> 00:11:19,707 Here's the club. 265 00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:22,043 Oh, no, no, no, I use the club. You use the whistle. 266 00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:23,844 And don't forget to blow the whistle. 267 00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:25,418 Eat plenty. Oh, the food is good. 268 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,611 Hey, be dressed up, please. 269 00:11:26,719 --> 00:11:28,415 All right, well, wait till I get it on. 270 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,320 - Get it on. Hurry up. Go ahead. - I'm going to eat. 271 00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:45,496 That's the one that waited on Abbott. She's pretty. 272 00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:46,504 How do you... 273 00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:48,666 How do you do, Sir? 274 00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:53,310 Run along, Miss. I'll wait on this customer. 275 00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:54,472 All right. 276 00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:56,277 The menu, Sir. 277 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,712 I could lose an appetite here. You know that. 278 00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:01,754 And let me see. 279 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:03,956 Got a match? 280 00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:06,686 No, I haven't. I'm sorry. I don't smoke. 281 00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:08,853 Give me some of this Gaston. 282 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:12,364 Oh, no, Sir, that's a... That's my name. 283 00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,798 This is a French/Italian restaurant. 284 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:15,994 - It is? - Mm-hmnh. 285 00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:19,003 Yeah, give me some spaghetti and matzoh balls. 286 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,471 - Spaghetti and meatballs. - Yeah. 287 00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:23,542 Where's my steak? 288 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:24,908 It's coming right up, Sir. 289 00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:26,445 Hey, how about a steak for me? 290 00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:27,639 Are you kidding? 291 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,079 - No, I'd like a steak. - Steak?! 292 00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:30,650 Yes, thank you. 293 00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:35,011 Thank you, Miss. 294 00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:37,155 Steak. 295 00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:39,122 Steak? 296 00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:41,251 I'll have a steak sandwich. 297 00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,160 All right, boys. 298 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,122 Thank you, Miss. 299 00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:00,377 You want to know something? 300 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,449 I don't like your looks. 301 00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:19,188 I will now bank the 8-ball in the side pocket. 302 00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:21,590 What's the idea? 303 00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,795 - Want to know something? - What? 304 00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:25,098 I don't know myself. 305 00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:26,331 That's good. 306 00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:28,135 You know, I could play you a dirty trick. 307 00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,140 - You could? - Yes, I could. 308 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,020 - Well, go ahead. - I can show you something else. 309 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:33,122 - Well, go ahead. What? - All right, put your hand out. 310 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,808 Put your foot out. 311 00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:41,150 Please, now, please. 312 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:45,022 Your spaghetti, Sir. 313 00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:48,450 And your meatballs. 314 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,281 What's the idea of racking up the meatballs? 315 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,831 Our chef used to work in a pool room. 316 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:53,864 Pool room. 317 00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:57,334 Yeah. On your table. 318 00:14:08,614 --> 00:14:11,641 Uh-oh, Mike's getting finished. 319 00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:14,477 Costello. 320 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,318 You better hurry up, or you're a dead pigeon. 321 00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:20,987 I've got to get this hat and coat back to him. 322 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,932 All right? You feel much better? 323 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,661 Hey, wait a minute. 324 00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,760 What are you doing with my coat and hat? 325 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,790 Oh, I... I was just going to help you on with it. 326 00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:33,568 Oh, thanks. 327 00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:34,971 Nothing too good for the law. 328 00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:37,975 I'm sorry. The check is $10, and I haven't got the money. 329 00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:43,209 Listen, you're the 12th guy today who couldn't pay his bill, 330 00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:44,375 and I'm sick of it! 331 00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:49,986 Hey, Mugsy, Butch, come here. 332 00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,648 Take care of this guy. 333 00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:54,745 Wait there, man! Just a minute! What are you trying to do?! 334 00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:57,628 Wait a minute! Wait a minute! 335 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,995 Wait a minute! 336 00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:05,061 That's the 12th guy who couldn't pay his check. 337 00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:08,007 I sure would hate to be number 13. 338 00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:11,702 He isn't going to get off as easy as this one. 339 00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,076 Enjoy your food. 340 00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:17,250 MAN: Oh! Oh! Please! 341 00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:20,218 Aah! Aah! Aah! 342 00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:22,048 Help! Help! 343 00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,886 [Indistinct shouting] 344 00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:26,857 Oh, no! 345 00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:28,291 Help! Help! 346 00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:30,989 Oh, no, no! 347 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,097 Don't do that! 348 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,224 Hey, don't! 349 00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:35,392 Don't do that! 350 00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:39,101 Oh, no! Let me go! Oh! 351 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,741 [Shouting continues] 352 00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:51,546 What's the matter? Can't you eat any more? 353 00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:52,942 Enjoy your food. 354 00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:55,351 Go on. Finish it. 355 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:57,522 MAN: Oh, no! 356 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,819 Oh, oh, please don't do it! 357 00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:01,861 I think I'm going to be the 13th. 358 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:04,863 What? You, too? 359 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:09,868 You're... You're... You... Ugh... I... 360 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,947 Watch your blood pressure. Watch your blood pressure. 361 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,634 I think I'll call the boys and have them take care of you. 362 00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:15,867 Don't call the boys. 363 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,920 They're busy right now with the little fella out there. 364 00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,879 I'll call a cop for you. 365 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,914 [Whistle] 366 00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:23,208 Ah, duty calls! 367 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:24,909 - Sounds like it's next door! - Hey! 368 00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:26,815 Hey, you no pay for the shave! 369 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:27,986 Oh, boy! 370 00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:30,148 Oh, Officer, I'm glad you got here. 371 00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:32,953 This man refuses to pay his bill. 372 00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:35,119 Now, take it easy, Mr. Proprietor. 373 00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:37,823 Come on. Go ahead. Take me out, Officer. 374 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,942 Hey, Abbott, what are you doing, playing a detective? 375 00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:41,127 He's a plainclothesman, now. 376 00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:42,361 Officer, do your duty. 377 00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:43,879 Come on, what did you do with the outfit, 378 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:44,802 the outfit, the outfit? 379 00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:46,099 Take me out, will you? 380 00:16:46,205 --> 00:16:48,333 Shut up! I got enough trouble with him! 381 00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:49,568 Take me out! 382 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:50,734 Hiya, Mike. 383 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,443 - Will you take... - You little deadbeat. 384 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,378 Shut up. 385 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,291 [Applause] 386 00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:09,360 Hey, I want to tell you something, Abbott. 387 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:10,122 What's that? 388 00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:11,573 You'll never know how close Mike the Cop 389 00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:12,708 was ready to bop me over the head, 390 00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:14,223 and I want to tell you something else. 391 00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:17,667 Don't get me mixed up into anymore of your ideas. 392 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:18,567 Wait a minute. 393 00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:20,367 I always wind up in the middle of them. 394 00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,237 Wait a minute, my boy. I have more ide... 395 00:17:22,341 --> 00:17:24,276 "My boy," now. "My boy," he calls me, "My boy." 396 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,107 I have more ideas. 397 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,044 - You got more ideas? - Plenty of ideas. 398 00:17:28,147 --> 00:17:31,345 I'm only glad that we only got 15 minutes to work them out. 399 00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:33,419 - Come on. - Come on, kid. 400 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:35,560 I should never forgive you 401 00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:37,556 for giving back Mike the Cop his hat and coat. 402 00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:40,320 Well, I couldn't help myself. He was all finished shaving. 403 00:17:40,426 --> 00:17:42,361 But this is one match you're going to win. 404 00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:45,959 You little troublemaker, 405 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,296 fixing it so Stinky can't wrestle you tonight, huh? 406 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,302 What's the big idea of getting Stinky sick? 407 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,463 All I did was give Stinky 26 malted milks. 408 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:53,972 Yeah, 26 malted milks. 409 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,508 So, you think you're going to win this match by default, huh? 410 00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,237 Now, listen, I'll wrestle anybody. 411 00:17:58,344 --> 00:17:59,573 Yeah, will you? That's right. 412 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:02,046 You will because we got a substitute, another kid. 413 00:18:02,148 --> 00:18:02,843 Who is it? Who is it? 414 00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:04,713 - Stinky's brother. - Stinky's kid brother? 415 00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:05,841 Yeah, his kid brother. 416 00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:07,396 I didn't know Stinky had a kid brother. 417 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:08,931 - Oh, yeah. - What are you worried about? 418 00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:10,253 Hey, listen, how big is he? 419 00:18:10,356 --> 00:18:12,985 Oh, he's... he's about your size, or thereabouts. 420 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,603 - I want you to meet him. - Bring him in. 421 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,371 What are you worrying about? You're in good shape. 422 00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:19,957 If Stinky's got a kid brother, I'm not afraid of him. 423 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,831 - What was that? - Stinky's brother. 424 00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:24,379 - Now listen, you... - I didn't do that. 425 00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:25,735 - Who did? - Stinky's brother. 426 00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,568 Now, listen, you... 427 00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:28,673 Stink... 428 00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:33,606 Come on. Get up that nerve of yours. 429 00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:36,182 I want you to go in that ring like a bullfighter, 430 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:39,480 wrestle him like a matador, throw him like a picador. 431 00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:41,747 And they'll carry me out like a cuspidor. 432 00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:44,722 [Indistinct speaking] 433 00:19:15,187 --> 00:19:17,418 This is no time to play. 434 00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,553 Ladies and gentlemen, 435 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,720 this is the final event of the evening. 436 00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:25,990 Introducing, from Paterson, New Jersey, 437 00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:29,432 the Tiger Man, Wild Lou Costello. 438 00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,537 [Crowd cheers] 439 00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:32,730 That's the boy. 440 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:35,171 Get your hands off me. I'm a wrestler. 441 00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:36,469 That's the spirit. 442 00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:38,441 - Get your hands off me. - Take it easy, Lou. 443 00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:39,842 - I'm a wrestler. - Take it e... 444 00:19:39,945 --> 00:19:40,945 Give me that. 445 00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:42,047 Take it easy. 446 00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:43,173 Take the robe. 447 00:19:43,282 --> 00:19:44,545 I'm paralyzed. 448 00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:46,915 Just get your arm through. 449 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,146 Here, here, here, way to... 450 00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:49,313 Save it. Save it, kid. 451 00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,414 - Somebody else... - Save it. Save it. 452 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,524 There. 453 00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:57,086 And in this corner, substituting for Stinky, 454 00:19:57,196 --> 00:20:00,564 his kid brother, the Goliath of the match, 455 00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:02,498 Ivan the Terrible. 456 00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:04,261 [Crowd cheers] 457 00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:47,677 - Get out there. - Huh? 458 00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:48,780 Get out! 459 00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:49,814 Sure. 460 00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:52,947 Here, get in... Get in the ring. 461 00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:54,315 Not this way. 462 00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:55,615 Come on. 463 00:20:55,721 --> 00:20:57,713 Go ahead. Muss your hair like that. 464 00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:58,823 Fix it up. That's it. 465 00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:01,019 That's it. Scare the... Scare the devil out of him. 466 00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:03,119 Go ahead, kid. Go ahead. 467 00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,910 Now, listen, I want a good, clean fight. 468 00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:20,002 I want you to break when I tell you to break. 469 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:23,048 And Costello, I don't want any of your dirty tactics, 470 00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:25,084 like hitting below the belt, 471 00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:26,049 or like this. 472 00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:27,017 Aah! 473 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:28,781 Like pulling hair, 474 00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:31,619 and none of those rabbit punches, 475 00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:33,886 and none of that stuff that you do with Stinky. 476 00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:35,222 Ohh! 477 00:21:35,394 --> 00:21:37,761 And no hitting with a closed fist. 478 00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,893 And no laying down! 479 00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:47,585 And none of this. I don't want any of this. 480 00:21:47,706 --> 00:21:48,799 Ohh! 481 00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:50,308 All right. 482 00:21:50,709 --> 00:21:51,404 Ohh. 483 00:21:51,510 --> 00:21:53,308 Now, I want you to go back to your corners, 484 00:21:53,412 --> 00:21:55,847 and may the better man win. 485 00:22:10,396 --> 00:22:11,807 You thought it was going to make me sick, 486 00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,060 drinking all this malted milk. 487 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,633 Well, it didn't, see? 488 00:22:26,745 --> 00:22:28,509 Give him an uppercut, Luigi. 489 00:22:28,614 --> 00:22:29,912 Throw him over your head! 490 00:22:33,953 --> 00:22:35,512 Thataboy, Lou. 491 00:22:35,621 --> 00:22:37,715 Thataboy, make him... 492 00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:39,518 Ohh! Abbott! 493 00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:42,151 Abbott, he's breaking my arm! 494 00:22:42,261 --> 00:22:44,628 You're fine. Take it easy. 495 00:22:44,730 --> 00:22:46,141 You've got him now, kid. Don't let go. 496 00:22:46,165 --> 00:22:47,224 He's breaking my arm! 497 00:22:47,333 --> 00:22:49,044 What are you worried about? You got another arm! 498 00:22:49,068 --> 00:22:50,502 Ohh! 499 00:22:51,337 --> 00:22:54,398 Is Luigi all right? 500 00:22:54,573 --> 00:22:57,372 [Phone rings] 501 00:22:57,476 --> 00:22:59,001 Hello? 502 00:22:59,111 --> 00:23:00,477 Louis, it's for you. 503 00:23:00,579 --> 00:23:01,877 Tell them I'm all tied up. 504 00:23:01,981 --> 00:23:03,472 He says he's all tied up. 505 00:23:03,582 --> 00:23:04,948 Aah! 506 00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:06,642 Come on, Louis! Come on, Louis! 507 00:23:06,752 --> 00:23:07,752 Come on, Louie. 508 00:23:20,199 --> 00:23:23,431 Hey, Abbott! 509 00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:30,334 Abbott! 510 00:23:30,442 --> 00:23:31,501 Abbott! 511 00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:32,634 Abbott! 512 00:23:33,112 --> 00:23:37,345 Aye! Aye! Aye! Aye! 513 00:23:43,889 --> 00:23:45,687 Aah! 514 00:23:52,064 --> 00:23:54,533 Ohh! 515 00:23:55,534 --> 00:23:58,129 You got to get your head out of there, or I'll disqualify you. 516 00:23:58,237 --> 00:24:00,502 Louis, push your head out. What's the matter? 517 00:24:00,606 --> 00:24:02,199 Push your head. 518 00:24:02,308 --> 00:24:04,072 Take your head out! 519 00:24:04,176 --> 00:24:05,075 Your smoke. 520 00:24:05,177 --> 00:24:07,237 Push out your head. 521 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:09,812 Now, what are you doing, Louis? 522 00:24:37,343 --> 00:24:39,039 - Two, please. - Come on, Louis! 523 00:24:53,859 --> 00:24:55,327 Give up? 524 00:24:55,427 --> 00:24:56,952 Give up? 525 00:24:57,196 --> 00:24:58,687 Give up? 526 00:25:00,165 --> 00:25:02,191 Did you break...? 527 00:25:02,301 --> 00:25:03,496 You... 528 00:25:04,570 --> 00:25:07,005 Oh, I broke it off! 529 00:25:12,544 --> 00:25:15,343 Hey! Good boy! 530 00:25:15,447 --> 00:25:17,143 The winner! 531 00:25:26,625 --> 00:25:28,821 [Applause] 532 00:25:32,664 --> 00:25:35,930 Well, Costello, tonight's experience should teach you a lesson. 533 00:25:36,035 --> 00:25:37,128 You should go on a diet. 534 00:25:37,236 --> 00:25:38,829 Oh, I'm not going on any diet, Abbott. 535 00:25:38,937 --> 00:25:40,315 Going on a diet... That's too dangerous. 536 00:25:40,339 --> 00:25:40,965 What do you mean? 537 00:25:41,073 --> 00:25:42,951 Anybody that goes on a diet... That's a very dangerous thing. 538 00:25:42,975 --> 00:25:44,152 What's dangerous about it, Lou? 539 00:25:44,176 --> 00:25:46,154 Well my Uncle Tom and Aunt Eva... They went on a diet. 540 00:25:46,178 --> 00:25:46,736 They did? 541 00:25:46,845 --> 00:25:48,711 Sure, my Uncle Tom, he weighed 200 pounds, 542 00:25:48,814 --> 00:25:50,715 and my aunt Eva, she weighed 135 pounds. 543 00:25:50,816 --> 00:25:51,181 No. 544 00:25:51,283 --> 00:25:52,827 - And what do you think happened? - I don't know. 545 00:25:52,851 --> 00:25:54,513 My Uncle Tom... He lost 150 pounds. 546 00:25:54,620 --> 00:25:55,883 What happened to your Aunt? 547 00:25:55,988 --> 00:25:57,422 She disappeared completely. 548 00:25:57,523 --> 00:25:58,684 Ohh! 39501

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